GLAAD’s Studio Responsibility Index On Gay Representation Recalls Last Year’s Awful Movies
With yesterday’s release of the inaugural Studio Responsibility Index, GLAAD confirmed that thing that everyone with eyeballs already knows: LGBT representation is sorely lacking in major Hollywood films. What’s new in this report, however, is solid data and analysis to quantify how bad the problem is. The SRI maps the quantity, quality and diversity of images of LGBT people in films released by the six major motion picture studios during the 2012 calendar year. And let me tell you, it’s not pretty.
Of the 101 films released by the six major studios, not one of the films contained a single transgender character. Only 14 films had lesbian, gay, or bisexual characters represented. And “represented” is a very generous descriptor; the vast majority were no more than cameos or very minor roles.
Of the queer characters in major studio films released in 2012, 84% were white and 56% were male.
Most often, queer representation was included in comedy films. Matt Kane, associate director of entertainment media at GLAAD and lead author of the 2013 SRI pointed out in a phone interview that “LGB characters were brought in mainly to provide humor, either as the butt of the joke or simply to provide the setup for some kind of humorous interaction with another character. They’re not well defined whatsoever, and if you were to take them out of the movie, you wouldn’t notice it whatsoever. ”
As part of the SRI, Kane and his team created the “Vito Russo Test,” a set of criteria inspired by the Bechdel test. Named after GLAAD co-founder and celebrated film historian Vito Russo, these criteria are intended to analyze how LGBT characters are represented in a fictional work.
Just for fun, I took a look at the film list to see how queer women were being represented, and how well they stood up to the Vito Russo test. In all the releases from 20th Century Fox, Paramount Pictures, Sony Columbia, Universal Pictures, Walt Disney, and Warner Brothers over past year, there were only five* films with any sort of queer lady representation. Five. Out of 101. Of those, three passed the Vito Russo test.
Here’s the rundown of queer lady film representation, best to worst:
1. Pitch Perfect by Universal: Vito Russo pass
Pitch Perfect sets the stage for queer lady presence early on when an outspoken character named Fat Amy (Rebel Wilson) points out the statistical likelihood that one of the 10 members of their all female acapella group is a lesbian. And indeed, queer woman of color Cynthia Rose (Ester Dean) later comes out in a scene where members are sharing secrets with the group:
Cynthia Rose: I have a confession to make.
Fat Amy: We all know where this is going. Lesbi-honest.
Cynthia Rose: This is hard for me to admit to you guys, but for the past two years, I have had a serious gambling problem.
Fat Amy: What?
Beca: What?
Cynthia Rose: It all started when I broke up with my girlfriend.
Fat Amy: Whomp, there it is!
In the hour and 45 minute movie, Cynthia Rose gets a little over an hour of screen time. Bask in the awesomeness. I bet she goes to Phresh Cutz.
Throughout the movie, Cynthia Rose doesn’t have many lines, but one could argue that’s kind of par for the course when there are so many ensemble characters. Cynthia Rose is shown as a competent singer who is well liked by her teammates. She is misgendered in her opening scene (“It’s not a dude”) and is later shown grabbing a teammate’s breasts against her will (possibly accidentally?). Still, I found the portrayal to be overall positive. Everyone in this film gets poked fun at, and I didn’t find Cynthia Rose’s treatment to be more harsh than that of other characters’. It’s situational comedy, more or less, where you’re laughing at misunderstandings, not at her queerness — in short, her identity isn’t the punchline of a joke.
2. The Five Year Engagement by Universal: Vito Russo pass
The Five Year Engagement was well rated by GLAAD for its inclusion of Chef Sally (Lauren Weedman). According to the report:
Among the supporting cast of this comedy about a straight couple’s prolonged route to the altar is lesbian chef Sally, who is the boss of the male lead. Though her role was limited to just a few scenes, the film established Sally as a unique and humorous character defined by traits beyond her sexual orientation and eventually depicted her in a relationship with another woman. For such a minor character, her inclusion was well handled.
Chef Sally was in four scenes of the two hour movie, racking up 6 minutes and 21 seconds of screen time.
Chef Sally is one of those quirky, romantic-comedy characters that exist only in films (and maybe your/my fantasies about what your life would look like if it were a film). Chef Sally first appears in the middle of the main couple’s proposal and makes a Star Trek reference. Then she chastises herself for being awkward. She has strong political opinions, and keeps her authoritative presence even after accidentally chopping off one of her fingers. (“I need a doggie bag for my finger,” she barks out to the kitchen.) I didn’t find a single negative thing about her portrayal, and she even worked a joke about gay marriage into a scene about the male lead and his career.
3. Fun Size by Paramount Pictures: Vito Russo pass
Within the first five minutes of the film, this gem takes place between the main character and her best friend as they discuss Halloween costumes:
April: So which do you think, sexy kitty or sexy mouse?
Wren: Can’t you be a kitty without being sexy?
April: Um, no. Being sexy is what’s going to get us into Aaron Riley’s party tonight.
They then proceed to spend the next hour or so obsessing over Aaron Riley, going to Aaron Riley’s party, and what actions they should take or avoid to be cool enough to be in Aaron Riley’s presence. There’s no mistaking this for a feminist film, or any sort of positive influence in the lives of the tween girls this film was marketed to. But there was a lesbian couple depicted, at least!
Out of an hour and twenty minutes, these lesbian moms were part of the action for 4 minutes and 35 seconds.
Barb (Kerry Kenney) and Jackie (Ana Gasteyer) are the wacky lesbian moms raising Roosevelt, the awkward eventual love interest of main character Wren. In the opening scene, the moms sit on the floor, serenading their cat Tolstoy with a lute and wooden flute. They speak ancient Greek with their son, and tell Wren about their expertise in prenatal psychology. Certainly the movie is working in some stereotypes about lesbian hippie-dom as well as some general wackiness. However, they are shown as loving parents in both of the scenes they’re in. As noted in the SRI, “The stereotype of the new-age lesbian parents as a source of humor has become something of a comedy archetype unfortunately, but at least the joke here doesn’t lie in the couple’s sexual orientation.”
4. American Reunion by Universal: Vito Russo fail
There’s a lot of misogyny in American Reunion. But I imagine you all have at least some familiarity with the American Pie franchise, so I won’t dig into it except to say that there was an extended gag in this particular movie about adult men wanting to get with drunk high school chicks. Moving on.
Surprisingly, I actually found American Reunion to be (relatively) progressive in its depiction of queer characters. In one scene, bro-tastic homophobe Stifler is reunited with two former classmates who are now engaged to each other. When the two men reveal to him that half the lacrosse team was gay, it is Stifler’s dumbfounded look (and the couple’s smirking quip about “wrestling” in the locker room) that is the punchline. The same sex relationship is presented as perfectly normal, and the couple even kisses in the background of a later scene.
Towards the end of the movie, the returning character of Jessica (Natasha Lyonne) appears briefly to come out as a lesbian and introduce her girlfriend, Ingrid (Jen Kober). Their sole purpose appears to be getting one of the male leads over to a table to patch things up with his female love interest.
Although it’s neat that Natasha Lyonne played gay yet again, out of a nearly 2 hour movie, this lesbian couple got 42 seconds of screen time.
5. Katy Perry: Part of Me by Paramount Pictures; Vito Russo fail
It is true that Katy Perry: Part of Me has a few queer women in it. But honestly, I feel like it barely counts as representation. In one clip, singer Jessie J says one sentence about what a big star Katy Perry is (9 seconds). Lady Gaga also makes a brief appearance in a costume “like a Hershey’s kiss” that obscures her face (5 seconds). Ellen DeGeneres snags the longest scene (31 seconds) with a clip from her show in which Katy gets jokingly territorial with Ellen that Russell Brand is hers. It’s mostly B roll, though, and you barely see Ellen’s face. Beyond that, Katy Perry’s gay stylist and makeup artist is shown several times throughout the film. And that’s it.
In total, queer women get less than 45 seconds of this hour and a half long film. Obviously, this is not long enough to discuss “Ur So Gay,” “I Kissed A Girl and I Liked It,” or Katy’s hot and cold relationship with the LGBT community.
Overall, I thought that when films bothered to show queer women at all, the representation wasn’t bad. The major problem right now is just that there’s so little of it. Of the five films with queer lady content above, you’ll note that two come from Paramount Pictures, and three from Universal Pictures. From 20th Century Fox, Sony Columbia, Walt Disney, and Warner Brothers: nada.
Combined, the six major studios were responsible for 76.4 percent of U.S. theatrical releases in 2012, and close to $7.7 billion gross box office revenue. Obviously, these studios have a huge impact on what’s available (and commercially successful) in the marketplace. When they fail to include LGBT people in their offerings, what it means is that unless someone is specifically looking for LGBT characters, they may never encounter them.
Despite popular belief, lesbians don’t spend all of their time huddled in menstrual huts discussing their hatred of men. Queer women go to the grocery store, walk their dogs, vote, attend sporting events, and eat in public restaurants, just like everyone else. Even if films featuring queer women at the center of attention is too much to ask, at the very least, there are queer people in the background of most straight people’s lives. It’s bizarre, inaccurate and insulting that this reality is not reflected on film.
The 2013 SRI explains:
Going to the movies is part of the American mythos and identity, and the stories they tell can have a deep and lasting effect on our cultural psyche. When minority characters are marginalized or made invisible within these films, it not only reminds those being underrepresented that their social position is less than, but also makes it more difficult for the majority to see them as part of that film’s reality as well as a valid part of our own.
In years past, GLAAD has released the annual Network Responsibility Index, which analyzes the quantity and quality of LGBT characters on primetime television. Over the past several years, there has been dramatic improvement, in part because of GLAAD’s advocacy efforts during direct discussion with the studios. According to Matt Kane, GLAAD is already in talks with two of the major film studios listed in the SRI (“one of the ones that did comparably well compared to the others, and one that did not”), and they are setting up further discussion with them and with others.
Kane said,
This [report] is us trying to start a conversation that we intend to continue for some time. We know that this is not something that’s going to get fixed overnight, but we’re in it for the long haul. We know the studios can do better and we think it’s in their best interests, for a number of reasons, to do better. That’s something we want to communicate to them over time.
Realistically, the first effects of this first report are unlikely to hit in time for the 2014 SRI, possibly even the 2015 SRI. But, come on – if we’re counting that Katy Perry movie as a win, the bar is obviously set really, really low. It can only get better from here, right?
Your move, studios.
*Adam Sandler’s That’s My Boy by Sony Columbia includes a shot of two female exotic dancers making out with each other. However, there is no mention of queer identity, the film doesn’t pass the Russo test or the Bechdel test, and it uses the words “homos” and “faggot” as humorous insults. So I’m not counting it on this list.
VIDEO: Julie & Brandy In Your Box Office Episode #205: Cloud Atlas In The Sky
by riese & julie and brandy
Well, it’s been a number of months since Julie & Brandy last blessed us with their spunky and irreverent take on a popular film of their choosing, and although we busy ourselves re-watching The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo & Fries and Hhenger Gahms, it’s still difficult to get through everyday life without a new episode from which to steal and repeat jokes. Therefore I am simply overjoyed to announce a brilliantly fresh episode of Julie & Brandy In Your Box Office is about to premiere right in front of your eyeballs!
Julie Goldman and Brandy Howard were scouring the earth for a new film that’d be appropriate for their comedy stylings when they came across this speech by transgender director Lana Wachowski on this very website and thought, “Oooo! Let’s support this movie!” and dutifully trekked to the theater at the asscrack of dawn. Unfortunately they learned, as Julie put it, “good people make bad movies.” On another note, my mother saw Cloud Atlas on her birthday and loved it, so.
A quick refresher about In Your Box Office, World’s Most Beloved Webseries:
Julie Goldman & Brandy Howard are a sensational acting/writing duo trying to cause a sensation with their romantic-comedy, Nicest Thing.
But since no one wants to make their movie or cast them in anything, they feel it is their duty to harshly judge everyone else’s work based on a sliding scale of rage, bitterness, lesbianism, and lack of any real significant training.
So, get a giant box of Junior Mints, take off your socks, curl into a small ball on your couch and press “play.” And if you’d like to read more about the race-related issues people have with this movie that Julie and Brandy bring up in their video, I recommend Yo, Is That Racist? Race-Bending Your Way Around Cloud Atlas and Media Action Network For Asian-Americans Speaks Up Against Cloud Atlas.
Also (this is the last thing, I promise), even though everybody hates the new Final Cut, I really like it! It’s enabled me to post this video in HD so I encourage you to select 720 HD quality when watching this fantastic video!
VIDEO: Julie & Brandy In Your Box Office #204: Hengher Gams
by riese & julie & brandy
I don’t know about you, but I’ve been pretty much sitting here staring at the wall dreaming about gummy worms since the last episode of Julie & Brandy in Your Box Office knocked my socks right off my feet onto the floor, therefore necessitating an unexpected trip to the laundromat. Yup, anticipation is high today, higher than a kite, a mountain, or a drug addict! Because today Julie Goldman and Brandy Howard are gonna make you pee in your pants! In a sexy way, though.
While the rest of us were learning about our souls at A-Camp, Julie Goldman and Brandy Howard were running around in the woods filming the “Hunger Games” episode of In Your Box Office, which they’ve entitled “HUNGER GHAMS.” It’s a different pronunciation.
A quick refresher about In Your Box Office, World’s Most Beloved Webseries:
Julie Goldman & Brandy Howard are a sensational acting/writing duo trying to cause a sensation with their romantic-comedy, Nicest Thing.
But since no one wants to make their movie or cast them in anything, they feel it is their duty to harshly judge everyone else’s work based on a sliding scale of rage, bitterness, lesbianism, and lack of any real significant training.
Also, due to popular demand — and in honor of YouTube’s new policies allowing 15-minute videos (the limit was ten, originally) — we are continuing to make these episodes a little longer than we used to. I mean, you dug it last time, so I think you’ll dig it this time too. If you watch it twice in a row, it’s like a sitcom, basically.
So, it’s time to pop your popcorn and wrap your girlfriend or otherwise-inclined real-or-imaginary companion in a warm blanket, cuddle up and see what Julie and Brandy thought about The Hunger Games, starring your girlfriend Katniss!
VIDEO! Julie & Brandy In Your Box Office #203: The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo and Fries
by riese & julie & brandy
Much like the coffee beans used to prepare the fresh breakfast coffee in Dunkin’ Donuts commercials, Julie Goldman and Brandy Howard are harvested and slow-roasted into perfection, and that takes time, which’s why it’s been so long since we last checked in with In Your Box Office’s Legendary Season Two. Luckily they’re totally roasted and they’re back!
Before we go any further, you should know that January 19th is Brandy’s birthday, so you all should tell her how pretty she is and be extra nice. Also you should know that when they’re not buying buckets of cheeseballs, being supermodels, or telling stories about drugrunning in Mexico for The Gay Pimp Podcasts, Julie Goldman & Brandy Howard are now both on the writing team for Joan Rivers’ Fashion Police Teevee Show! GOING PLACES!
A quick refresher about In Your Box Office, World’s Most Beloved Webseries:
Julie Goldman & Brandy Howard are a sensational acting/writing duo trying to cause a sensation with their romantic-comedy, Nicest Thing.
But since no one wants to make their movie or cast them in anything, they feel it is their duty to harshly judge everyone else’s work based on a sliding scale of rage, bitterness, lesbianism, and lack of any real significant training.
So, due to popular demand — and in honor of YouTube’s new policies allowing 15-minute videos (the limit was ten, originally) — I’m experimenting with making these episodes just a tad bit longer because, you know, why not? That being said, there was still more to say about the movie which I’ve added after the video. You can read it before or after or not at all. It’s up to you! The world is at your fingertips!
Speaking of fingertips, time to pop your popcorn and wrap your girlfriend or otherwise-inclined real-or-imaginary companion in a warm blanket, cuddle up and see what Julie and Brandy thought about The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo starring your girlfriend Lisbeth!
There’s one more point I’d like to add that Julie & Brandy made that there wasn’t room for in the video — they felt like in the Swedish film it didn’t seem like Lisbeth was falling in love with Blomkvist so much as appreciating that someone was being normal to her; like the sex stuff was almost a way of saying “thank you.” Their situation seemed weird and fluid and complicated and Lisbeth seemed way more queer. In David Fincher’s version, they felt hit over the head with “the sanctity of man-love” — like Lisbeth was mega in-love with him. It was like David Fincher wanted to be the hero and help an abused women who feels more secure around other women/piercings to really blossom via the gentle, muscly love of Daniel Craig. Also despite liking David Fincher usually, it seemed like Lisbeth got the short end of the stick here despite being the titular character.
Okay, war criminals, tell them how funny they are!
VIDEO: Julie & Brandy in Your Box Office #202: Hangover 2, The Ladies Edition
Julie Goldman and Brandy Howard are very busy international celebrities, but they’re not too busy to go see a movie about four dudes called The Hangover II. The thing is that Julie hates men. So what did they think of the film? Well, you’ll have to wait and see!
A quick refresher:
Julie Goldman & Brandy Howard are a sensational acting/writing duo trying to cause a sensation with their romantic-comedy, Nicest Thing.
But since no one wants to make their movie or cast them in anything, they feel it is their duty to harshly judge everyone else’s work based on a sliding scale of rage, bitterness, lesbianisim, and lack of any real significant training.
Are you ready? I don’t think you’re ready. Do you have your wigs and pita ready in a big bowl? I hope you do. Because this episode is going to really excite you, change your life, inspire you to scale new heights, and maybe lead you to re-evaluate your perspective on baby harp seals.
A quick and important note: Due to incredibly mind-blowing frustrating technical issues, has taken three weeks of wrestling with Final Cut to get this sucker into a presentable format for your eyeholes. So any bizarre picture problems or possible subliminal messages serve to cover up an image of Julie & Brandy’s scrambled faces. And nobody wants to look at scrambled faces!
If you like it you should comment because Brandy gets really insecure if you don’t. Maybe even comment if you don’t like it, just to tell them that you love them.
[yframe url=’https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vd8-xPBmbc’]
VIDEO! Julie & Brandy in Your Box Office #201: Black Swan Did You Really Happen
Wow can you believe it? At last, the Season Two premiere of Julie Goldman and Brandy Howard In Your Box Office. In honor of the lesbo-vadge-rage inspired by Black Swan and a subsequent flare-up of aforementioned rage while reading Autostraddle’s post on The Oscars, in which many readers shared positive emotions about the film Black Swan, Julie Goldman and Brandy Howard have decided to open Season 2 with Black Swan, which Julie liked less than Avatar.
A quick refresher:
Julie Goldman & Brandy Howard are a sensational acting/writing duo trying to cause a sensation with their romantic-comedy, Nicest Thing.
But since no one wants to make their movie or cast them in anything, they feel it is their duty to harshly judge everyone else’s work based on a sliding scale of rage, bitterness, lesbianisim, and lack of any real significant training.
Are you ready? Do you have a big bowl of popcorn or a giant box of Crispix? I hope so. It’s time for the eleventh heart-stopping, stomach-pounding episode of the internet sensation and world-famous comedy extravaganza, Brandy Howard & Julie Goldman in your box office! Review edited by Riese, Re-enactment edited by J/B.
(For the best viewing experience, select “720p”)
VIDEO: Julie & Brandy in Your Box Office: The Sh*t You Didn’t See
Julie & Brandy are hard at work on the first episode of Julie & Brandy in Your Box Office Season Two but in the meantime in between time, Riese has edited together a little something to bring us all back to the glory days we recall as “Julie & Brandy in Your Box Office: Season One.”
Bloopers! Unaired footage! Clips from an entire episode that never quite got finished because we decided the story of how Jack Abramoff stole all our money was too depressing! Falling! Laughter! Rabid manhaters! Bathroom humor! Justin Bieber! Very well-edited montages set to popular music! Nonstop LOL’s from beginning to end!
Here’s the deal in case you’ve forgotten:
Julie Goldman & Brandy Howard are a sensational acting/writing duo trying to cause a sensation with their romantic-comedy, Nicest Thing.
But since no one wants to make their movie or cast them in anything, they feel it is their duty to harshly judge everyone else’s work based on a sliding scale of rage, bitterness, lesbianisim, and lack of any real significant training.
Are you ready? I kinda think you’re not necessarily ready. But here goes!
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Julie Goldman & Brandy Howard in Your Box Office Season One: The Sh*t You Didn’t See
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VIDEO! Julie & Brandy at the Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival: The Lost Footage
Last summer, somebody told Brandy Howard that the Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival featured a lot of chicks with their tits out and so Brandy Howard asked Julie Goldman if maybe just maybe she could get a gig at Michfest so Brandy could see “the titties” for herself.
Unfortunately, Julie told Brandy, Michfest is one of many fine lesbionic venues where Julie Goldman had offended some uptight PC lesbian at some point and therefore was no longer welcome. But whatever, Julie said, I’ll fucking call them because you know, when Brandy Howard asks you to do something, you f*cking do it.
Lo and behold, Julie was offered a spot at Michfest! Therefore, despite Julie’s aversion to sleeping in a thing that is not a hotel, the duo set off for a fun weekend in the wilderness.
Autostraddle’s default video editor Riese was about 24 hours away from finishing the masterpiece film of Julie & Brandy at Michfest when her computer, which was invented by a man, decided to totally fuck her up the ass and make her lose everything long story.
But Julie and Brandy knew they had a story that needed to be told, especially because cameras aren’t really allowed there and even as the event faded into herstory, the story STILL NEEDED TO BE TOLD. For closure. You guys, closure is important. That’s right, Julie Goldman & Brandy Howard edited this motherfucker themselves.
Join us on our pioneering journey.
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VIDEO: “Julie Goldman and Brandy Howard In Your Box Office” Season TWO Trailer!!!
Autostraddle’s original groundbreaking smash hit almost-award-winning series, Julie and Brandy: In Your Box Office, is back and better than ever! Don’t miss the premier of Julie and Brandy: In Your Box Office Season Two!
“When I heard there was going to be a Season Two of Julie and Brandy: In Your Box Office, it made me want to get a tattoo of Julie and Brandy’s faces. Preferably on my lower back or possibly inner thigh.”
– Rachel K., Autostraddle.com
When one season of Julie and Brandy: In Your Box Office just isn’t enough, two seasons will surely feel like more! Julie and Brandy: In Your Box Office Season Two is vacuum-packed to seal in the freshness! Don’t miss this year’s hottest ticket to laugh-out-loud fun times!
“Julie and Brandy provide more than a laugh a minute. They actually provide several laughs in the span of a minute. Sometimes three or four, sometimes 60 individual laughs, which is actually one laugh per second. They take video to a new, laugh-filled, groundbreaking level of executive lesbian realness with a bit of intergallactic glam pop thrown in there for kicks.”
– Riese B., Autostraddle.com
Brandy Howard in the shower!
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Julie Goldman in a mustache!
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Nacho and friends!
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What’s more outrageously hilarious than two girls in Hollywood trying to get their dreams made? Trying to get their movie done? Season two of Julie and Brandy: In Your Box Office is executive lesbian realness like you’ve never seen before! You thought Sex and the City 2 was good? You liked Hot Tub Time Machine?! You will like these things and more, masterbrain!
“Season two of Julie and Brandy: In Your Box Office is the second season! I’m going to watch it on my computer!”
-Laneia M., Autostraddle.com
Check out the trailer for Julie and Brandy: In Your Box Office Season Two, created by none other than Julie and Brandy themselves!
VIDEO: Julie Goldman & Brandy Infiltrate VH1, ‘Do Something’ With Jane Lynch
Remember when Julie Goldman & Jane Lynch totally obliviated previously unscaled mountains of awesome at the Vh1 2010 DO SOMETHING Awards with their fantastically co-written song “Do Something”? You should probs check it out right now. (more…)
Julie & Brandy in Your Box Office #6: Sex and The City 2
It will come as no surprise to you that Julie Goldman and Brandy Howard did not enjoy Sex and the City 2. It will also come as no surprise to you that their re-enactment is ten bajillion times better than the actual film.
Sex and the City 2, starring Sarah Jessica Parker, Cynthia Nixon the lesbian, Kristin Davis, Kim Catrall and a bunch of dudes, has been critically panned by everyone except Alexi Melvin, most notably in this review from The Stranger: “SATC2 takes everything that I hold dear as a woman and as a human—working hard, contributing to society, not being an entitled cunt like it’s my job—and rapes it to death with a stiletto that costs more than my car. It is 146 minutes long, which means that I entered the theater in the bloom of youth and emerged with a family of field mice living in my long, white mustache. This is an entirely inappropriate length for what is essentially a home video of gay men playing with giant Barbie dolls.”
And here we have two grown women playing with themselves, and the results are glorious!
Yes, Autostraddle.com had a serious hosting situation this weekend which we have since remedied for a price equivalent to a trip to Abu Dabi (help!), but who cares really WE HAVE JULIE GOLDMAN LORDESS OF COMEDY AND BRANDY FUCKING HOWARD, QUEEN OF BEER COMMERCIALS here to finger Michael Patrick King’s asshole for you!
Julie Goldman and Brandy Howard are the Matt and Ben of Lesbian Movies. They are a sensational acting/writing duo that are trying to cause a sensation with their sensational, lesbian romantic-comedy, Nicest Thing.
Since no one wants to make their movie or cast them in anything, they feel it is their duty to harshly judge everyone else’s work, based on a sliding scale of rage, bitterness, lesbianism, and lack of any real significant training.
VIDEO – Julie & Brandy In Your Box Office #5: Hot Tub Time Machine
Did you know that Julie Goldman invented the word “celesbian”? Did you know that Brandy Howard has been in commercials for three different brands of light beer? Well, get ready to know even more about these two ladies and their cervixes as Julie Goldman & Brandy Howard re-enact & review Hot Tub Time Machine in Episode #5 of the CULT HIT INTERNET TEEVEE SHOW Julie & Brandy in Your Box Office.
If you haven’t already seen a little PSA called “YES HOMO,” then you should, because it’s also about Hot Tub Time Machine.
VIDEO – Julie & Brandy In Your Box Office #4: The Runaways
Julie Goldman & Brandy have something they want you to do. They want you to go see a really, really, really good movie, and they’re gonna tell you why. And it’s gonna be dirty, sexy, dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty lesbian dirty, 70’s.
Also this week: Brandy studies fisting, Julie saw Joan Jett at a sex club, and cocaine is better in giant freezer bags, right? Sure it is. Welcome to the raunchiest/funniest show on the entire internet:
Julie Goldman and Brandy Howard are the Matt and Ben of Lesbian Movies. They are a sensational acting/writing duo that are trying to cause a sensation with their sensational, lesbian romantic-comedy, Nicest Thing.
Since no one wants to make their movie or cast them in anything, they feel it is their duty to harshly judge everyone else’s work; based on a sliding scale of rage, bitterness, lesbianisim, and lack of any real significant training.
VIDEO: Julie & Brandy In Your Box Office #3: Sh*tter Island
Julie & Brandy’s episodes are supposed to debut every other Monday. But due to a series of fortunate events, you are soooo lucky and you’re gonna get episode #3 a week early! This week, the girls decided to see a blockbuster movie, Shutter Island.
The Shutter Island parody, “Sh*tter Island,” is pretty remarkable. so get some of whatever it is Whoopi Goldberg was advertising during the Oscars last night because you will need it because um, this is kinda the funniest one yet.
Julie Goldman and Brandy Howard are the Matt and Ben of Lesbian Movies. They are a sensational acting/writing duo that are trying to cause a sensation with their sensational, lesbian romantic-comedy, Nicest Thing.
Since no one wants to make their movie or cast them in anything, they feel it is their duty to harshly judge everyone else’s work; based on a sliding scale of rage, bitterness, lesbianisim, and lack of any real significant training.
If you missed it, here’s Julie & Brandy In Your Box Office #2: Paranormal Activity and Episode One – “Avatar”. Per always, this video was edited by Riese and you can always catch up on all the great offerings over at Autio/Video on our Video Blog page.
Actually the footage for this one was so incredibly awesome that we’re definitely seeing a DVD Extras special in our future. It will include “Cameltoe Island,” a short film that did not make the final cut, but is nevertheless funny.
VIDEO: Julie & Brandy In Your Box Office #2: Paranormal Activity
Hello friends! It seems like just yesterday that Julie & Brandy In Your Box Office Episode One – Gay-vatar dropped into your lives and blew your brain to bits OF LAUGHTER!! And now it’s time for Episode Two: Paranormal Activity, edited by Riese, in which Julie & Brandy rent Paranormal Activity, watch it, and subsequently have feelings about it!
Julie Goldman and Brandy Howard are the Matt and Ben of Lesbian Movies. They are a sensational acting/writing duo that are trying to cause a sensation with their sensational, lesbian romantic-comedy, Nicest Thing.
Since no one wants to make their movie or cast them in anything, they feel it is their duty to harshly judge everyone else’s work; based on a sliding scale of rage, bitterness, lesbianisim, and lack of any real significant training. (more…)
VIDEO: Julie & Brandy In Your Box Office Episode One – “Avatar”
We are super excitant to present the world premiere of the Autio/Video Autostraddle.com Original Webseries starring famous celesbian comedian of life and star of Logo’s The Big Gay Sketch Show Julie Goldman and phenomenally good-looking actress Brandy Howard, “Julie & Brandy in Your Box Office”! Remember the preview? Wasn’t that awesome? Well now the first episode is here, edited by ME, Riese (Marie Bernard), with help from Autio/Video assistant visionary Kelsey Lisette.
This week, Julie Goldman & Brandy Howard go to see James Cameron’s Avatar. They share all their feelings about it, and then they re-enact the film for you! Their three-minute “Gayvatar” is way better than the real thing! You will probs ROFL 10-27 times.
Julie Goldman and Brandy Howard are the Matt and Ben of Lesbian Movies. They are a sensational acting/writing duo that are trying to cause a sensation with their sensational, lesbian romantic-comedy, Nicest Thing.
Since no one wants to make their movie or cast them in anything, they feel it is their duty to harshly judge everyone else’s work; based on a sliding scale of rage, bitterness, lesbianisim, and lack of any real significant training.
JULIE and BRANDY – IN YOUR BOX OFFICE.
We see crappy movies so you don’t have to.
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You can keep up with Julie Goldman and Brandy Howard’s antics on Julie Goldman’s blog, Julie Goldman is really pretty as well as on Julie & Brandy’s blog It’s Not Gay it’s Fashion and the website for Nicest Thing. (more…)