The Gay 2000s: Twenty Decade-Defining Lesbian Happenings

While the rest of the world is bemoaning our apocalyptic state at the close of the century’s first decade, us gays have quite a bit to be thankful for! Heaps of ladies have marched proudly out of the closet, we’ve acquired way more Civil Rights than we had in 1999 and overall our media visibility has skyrocketed. Granted, there’ve been many setbacks; like the death of Dana Fairbanks DOMA and many popular votes reminding us how unpopular we were in high school and um, hate crimes, and well really a lot of bad things. Anyhoo!

Let’s take a look back at some of the many defining events of this decade. These are in random order, and much like the producers of reality television programs so popular in this decade, this list is only a few hours of the 87,600 hours, many of which were probs important.

#10

BEST: For Kids, It’s Slightly More Okay To Be Gay

It’s a different world out there, kids. There’s the anecdotal changes, like an increase in “Gold Stars” amongst youngsters as young lesbians are feeling less pressure to “try boys” than most adult lesbians did at their age. Then there’s quantifiable changes, like rising numbers of GSAs and college campus LGBTQ groups as well as additional resources for homeless LGBT youth in urban areas.  In 2001, 1,000 GSAs had registered with GLSEN. By 2008, the number was up to 4,000. And a recent New York Times magazine cover story reports that kids are coming out in middle school.

WORST: Gay kids are still being bullied

A 2007 GLSEN study showed that 9 out of 10 LGBT students (86.2%) had experienced harassment at school in the past year, three-fifths (60.8%) felt unsafe at school because of their sexual orientation and about a third (32.7%) skipped a day of school in the past month because of feeling unsafe.

#9

BEST: Rosie O’Donnell comes out (2002) and then proceeds to do a number of awesome things like yell at Elisabeth Hasselbeck on The View.

Guys have you ever been on an R Family cruise? It has changed the lives of thousands of families who can afford to take vacations and Riese has been on three for various reasons and she highly recommends it. Did you watch that documentary? Remember how awesome and sassy Rosie was on The View? Remember how Ro did us proud in the Hassleback smackdown? Remember how you were way sadder than you thought you’d be when it was clear she and Kelli were having problems? If you think her coming out didn’t matter to your life, think again — it was kinda a big deal. And she’s never compromised since.

The history of the country has been written by the rich white men who could afford to do exactly as they wanted whenever they wanted. The fact that women like Rosie & Ellen can afford to be honest means they’re in a unique position to be the catalysts of change in major ways.

WORST: “A Shot at Love” and Katy Perry

The Shot at Love franchise made every bisexual woman in America want to shoot herself, upping the ante in season three by replacing our Cyberstar Tila Tequila with the bisexual Ikki twins.

In 2008, Katy Perry released “I Kissed a Girl” and managed to reinforce every bisexual stereotype in the book. Oh, and Katy was put on the cover of OUT and given the headliner spot at Dinah Shore for it! What’s that about? We’ve kissed girls for real, but for some reason OUT hasn’t called.

#8

BEST: Lawrence v. Texas (2003)

The U.S. Supreme Court struck down sodomy laws in this landmark case. Though lesbians aren’t exactly the most sodomy-saturated group, it was still super important. You can’t legislate in the bedroom folks! Although people are certainly still trying.

WORST: The Defense of Marriage Act & State Amendments Against Gay Marriage

It was passed in the 90’s, but we’re certainly still feelings the effects of DOMA. Efforts in this decade to overturn the act, which prevents a federal marriage equality bill, have all come to nothing. Even the Obama administration is still using it against us to deny benefits, despite our hopes to the contrary.

At the beginning of the decade, only one state had amended its constitution to restrict the legalization of gay marriage. Now, there are 29 states with such amendments. Not content to just remain neutral, those states had to make an actual statement against equality. Thanks, guys!

#7

BEST: Gay TV & Ellen’s Renaissance

This was the decade that launched gay TV into the mainstream. Queer As Folk ran from 2000 to 2005, making way for The L Word (2004-2009) which legitimately shattered the public’s stereotype of lesbians as hippie bushwackers w/guitars. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but you know, it helps end symbolic annihilation etc.).

After having her second TV sitcom canceled in 2001 and following a rough coming out period in the mid-9os and subsequent depression, Ellen came back in a big way in ’03 with her daytime talk show. Since then, she has all but taken over the world and is the most famous lesbian ever. And really, we couldn’t ask for a better symbol of the lesbian community. Ellen is funny, she’s charming, she’s in love with her hot wife, and even mainstream America thinks she’s awesome.

LOGO (the first gay network) launched in 2005, here! launched that same year and Bravo became the gayest-network-that-isn’t-actually-gay. Lesbian characters popped up on mainstream shows like The O.C., America’s Next Top Model, Stargate Universe, South of Nowhere, Degrassi: The Next Generation, Top Chef, Greek, One Tree Hill, All My Children, House and so much more.

Familiar faces on the TV now include Wanda Sykes, Suze Orman, Rachel Maddow, Jenna Valez-Mitchell, Jackie Warner, Tabitha Coffey, Kim Stolz, and you know … so much more.

Worst: Women Still Face Barriers When Telling Lesbian Stories

The thing about The L Word is that while it was great to have queer lady storylines on TV, it still accounts for like 95% of the queer lady storylines on TV five years later. And I don’t know about you, but there’s only a certain amount of baby-kidnapping interrogation-taping swimming-pool-murder  I can relate to. Why haven’t we heard more complex, more diverse, more real stories about our lives? It’s not because they’re not there; it’s because it’s really f*cking hard to get them out there — and not just for gay women, but for women in general (the biggest problem with lesbian stories, often, is that there are often men in the story)

9 percent of the 250 top-grossing domestic films of 2008 were directed by women and no woman has ever won an Oscar for directing. No woman of color has ever been nominated by the Academy for the Best Director category (more on this in this awesome bitch magazine article about female directors). From an NPR story on this topic:

Nia Vardalos says it’s no secret that female directors are treated differently by studios — even sometimes by their own crews. She says she had no sense of being an artiste — someone entitled to challenge the budget, the number of shooting days or the rules.

“One day my focus puller turned to me, and he said, ‘As a female filmmaker, you have one shot,'” she recalls, “‘and if you go over budget, that bond company will be here in a second, breathing down your neck. So you’re right to keep everyone on schedule.'”

Autostraddle faves Anyone But Me and We Have To Stop Now are fabulous shows that are produced in the form of webseries for a smaller audience that has to know where to look for them, and most gay and lesbian films are only shown in (admittedly awesome) gay and lesbian film festivals. Similarly this has often been the only avenue of opportunity for women of color (more on this in item #3).What that means is that gay ladies who want to do us proud and make movies/TV/stories/art about our real-life feelings are doing it largely on their own and unsupported, without the funding of Hollywood studios or the backing of major producers or the budget of, I don’t know, Jersey Shore. The bad news there is that the people in offices behind desks haven’t been convinced yet that our stories are important and meaningful and interesting to the public; the good news is that it doesn’t even matter, because we’re just going to go ahead and do it anyways.  ONWARD HO PIONEERS!

#6

BEST: Obama’s election (2008)

We finally saw a ray of sunshine in politics — a majority voting for a minority! That’s the spirit! Maybe this gay ray of sunshine will materialize some time in the next decade! Or we’ll just have a ridiculously attractive presidential family, as is evidenced in this photo!

WORST: Bush gets elected. Twice.

And our dreams of equality were squashed for eight whole years. Chris Rock said it best:

The beautiful thing about the gay marriage issue is the absolute only issue that the President will answer. The President don’t give a f*ck, he will give you a straight answer on gay marriage. “Mr President, what about the war, when’s it gonna end?” “Well, you never know, we’re talking to people, and we’re looking for stuff, and we might find it, we might not, and it’s out there, we’re gonna get it, you never know, how’s it going, yeah!” “Mr President, what about the economy, when’s it gonna pick up?” “Well, you never know, we’re talking to people, and economic indicators indicate that indications are coming to the indicator, you know what I’m saying, all right!” “Mr President, what about gay marriage?” “F*ck them faggots!”

10 Best and 10 Worst Gay Happenings of 2009

What a year we’ve had, ladies & gentlemen! It’s time to look back on some of the most defining moments of 2009 in the U-S-of-A, which is now popularly considered one of the worst years ever. Howevs, because the gays really have nowhere to go but up, several sparkles shone upon our homosexual horizon this year. Ready? These are in no particular order, FYI. No order. Just random. Like swine flu.

#10

BEST: Dan Choi comes out on The Rachel Maddow Show (March 23)

If you were ever wondering what it would take to become America’s most beloved gay Arabic linguist (and Autostraddle’s #1 BFF forever!), this is it. Howevs, this announcement led to ….

WORST: Dan Choi gets fired (March 23)

Since Obama took office, 265 service members, including a disproportionate number of gay women, have been discharged under DADT, and one of them is our BFF Dan Choi. However we’ve  really enjoyed covering his rising activist star this year!

#9

BEST: Ellen and Portia voted most trusted with America’s kids (May 9) and then in November, they went on Oprah and said a bunch of adorable things.

There is a theory that Oprah actually only had them on the show so that later, backstage, she could ask them to babysit. (JK does Oprah even have kids? Probs not, maybe she needs them to babysit Dr. Phil)

Ellen’s biggest success this year, however, was on her own show, when Portia’s new sitcom Better Off Ted provided the couple with an opportunity to be totally adorable on television.

AfterEllen.com:

“The whole episode was another one of those quietly revolutionary moments. You just have to read all the gushing tweets about the interview from people across America to see how many people, gay and straight, were charmed by their appearance on the show together today. For many straight people, Ellen and Portia are the only same-sex couple they know, and that’s why this episode, and Friday’s “rehearsal” episode, will arguably do more for improving the visibility of same-sex marriage than all the Prop. 8 PSAs put together.”

WORST: Lilo & Samro, Cherry Jones & Sarah Paulson AND Rosie & Kelli call it quits

Lindsay and Sam more or less officially separated this year, which breaks all of our little bisexual hearts. If a DJ and an actress/model with substance abuse problems can’t find true love, WHO CAN? Lindsay, of course, entertained us all year long with her pining @ replies to Sam. We’re still pretty sure that they’ll get back together soon though, and we’ve had just about enough of the entire mass media trying to prove Lindsay’s going back to men.

In other breakup news, Rosie & Kelli confirmed rumors that the couple was having trouble, though we were assured that the split would have no affect on the children or their togetherness as a family. Meanwhile, Cherry Jones & Sarah Paulson quietly broke up, sans drama and @-replies.

#8

BEST: Spring Fever! Iowa (April 3) & Vermont (April 7) legalize same-sex marriage

The heartland finally got on the equality bandwagon and Vermont soon followed, becoming the first state to legalize same-sex marriage by legislative, not judicial, action. Massachusetts says WELCOME TO THE PARTY, Y’ALL.

WORST: California Supreme Court upholds Prop 8 (May 26)

What is there to say? We made clever signs and cried and tried to talk reasonably to all the crazies that we didn’t the first time, and ultimately, that still didn’t change America so that a majority couldn’t vote on the rights of a minority. Just ask Maine.

#7

BEST: Hot Fun in the Summertime! New Hampshire legalizes gay marriage (June 3)

Just a little late — Iowa and Vermont are all “Where have you been, bro?” –and New Hampshire is like, “Right here, let’s go take a bridal shower!”

WORST: NOM’s existence (all year long)

The National Organization for Marriage is pretty much everything we are against. We dream that one day we’ll wake up to find Maggie Gallagher embroiled in a tax fraud or embezzlement scandal or even better, a sex scandal. Anyhoo, here’s a parody that will make you feel better, though!

#6

BEST: Obama makes big promises to the HRC/opens for Lady Gaga (Oct. 10)

Obama spoke to the HRC the night before the National Equality March and repromised a lot of things, including ending DADT and fighting DOMA. And then Lady Gaga sang, which was obvs the best part of the night!

Also speaking of great speechmaking, Wanda Sykes became the first out lesbo to address the White House Correspondents Dinner. She did a good job!

WORST: DADT continues/Obama doesn’t deliver on campaign promises (all year long)

Despite more and more people coming out against DADT (including the American Medical Association, military higher-ups, and Obama himself), the policy still stands and continues to make gay soldiers’ lives difficult. And though Obama has backtracked from offensive statements made from his administration about gay marriage, Obama has yet to take action on DOMA.

NEXT:
Maine, the untimely death of Jennifer Schecter,
and where’s our equal rights, bitches!?!

Louisiana Judge Rules Interracial Marriage, Like Gay Marriage, Will Obliterate Juvenile Happiness

MARRIAGE LICENSE: It’s hard to believe this headline exists in 2009, but a straight interracial couple was denied a marriage license in Louisiana. The reason? The justice of the peace was concerned for their future children. After doing some research on the subject, “he came to the conclusion that most of black society does not readily accept offspring of such relationships, and neither does white society, he said. “I don’t do interracial marriages because I don’t want to put children in a situation they didn’t bring on themselves,” Bardwell said. “In my heart, I feel the children will later suffer.”

Last time I checked, no child brings their circumstances at birth on themselves. Maybe we should try fixing how society treats interracial children instead of discriminating against interracial couples and making the problem worse. We could also look at the millions of children raised by alcoholics, psychopaths, drug addicts and abusive asshats who all were permitted to legally marry and birth children under the law. AND! Marriage is not a predicate for childrearing; not all married people have children, and not all children are birthed by married couples.

You know, the President of the United States turned out okay despite his interracial parentage. Just saying. Though this judge, I’m guessing, voted for Sarah Palin.

NEM: Firstly, check out all our hot National Equality March coverage! We’ve got our photo gallery, Katrina’s notes from the field, and our final shebang: VIDEO by Riese, Recap/Review by Katrina. Special guests include Kristin Chenoweth, Dan Choi and Cynthia Nixon. And Haviland

DADT: Obama’s advisors say they talking to the generals and trying to push forward on repealing DADT, but they aren’t promising quick results.

CHILDREN FTW: One family, among many, that stands to gain if Referendum 71 is approved: “Our son hadn’t planned to testify that chilly day back in February, but he was moved to speak after hearing what, to his young ears, must have seemed to be a confusing and sometimes hurtful denial of rights to our family. So he took the microphone and had this to say: “Some of you may not think of my family as a family, but I know in my heart that we are. So please pass this bill so everyone will know that this is my family.”

TUXEDO: The ACLU has picked up a case in Mississippi involving a high school that won’t allow a lesbian student to wear a tuxedo in the yearbook. When Sturgis — an honor student, trumpet player and goalie on the school’s soccer team — wanted her senior photograph in a tuxedo used in the 2009-10 yearbook, school officials balked. Traditionally, female students dress in drapes and males wear tuxedos. WTF is a drape, and where was this school when I wore a chapstick necklace to my 9th grade school picture taking, someone should’ve gotten rid of that shit. But really, in this day & age? Surely this school should know the gay leftist media won’t let them get away with this nonsense. (@associatedpress)
Here, we’ll run it! HAPPY HIGH SCHOOL!!!! You should watch Pump up the Volume and take over the world!

DUMBLEDORE’S LEGACY: Harry Potter fans are fighting for marriage equality in Maine and asking themselves, “What would Dumbledore do?” (@wallstreetjournal)

National LGBTQ Equality March Stimulates a New Generation: Interviews & Video

National Equality March Video:

Edited by Riese, with appearances by Kristin Chenoweth, Dan Choi, Haviland Stillwell, Riese, Alex, Brooke and The Autostraddle Interns.

+

National Equality March Invigorates a New Lesbian Generation Ready for Revolution

By Katrina Casino

We are having an identity crisis. This is great, because gay people need more of those. This one, though, isn’t about who we are. We know who we are—we’re LGBT people and their allies. This identity crisis is about what we want, and though we agree about wanting equality, none of us are really sure what that means. A repeal of DOMA? The freedom to serve our country as we want? Or is it just about visibility — about knowing we exist?

This past Sunday at the National Equality March in Washington, D.C., somewhere between 60,000 and 200,000 LGBT people and their allies marched through the streets of the District and ended for a rally at the National Mall organized by Equality Across America, a network of decentralized organizers from each of the 435 U.S. Congressional districts.

With this kind of organization, it’s no surprise that one of the main points touched upon at the rally was the importance of grassroots organization. The Equality March brought together a diverse group of speakers with a commendably inclusive message to reflect the diversity that exists, but is not always spoken of, in the LGBT community.

The rally lineup featured over 30 speakers, including LGBT activists David Mixner, Judy Shepard, and Lt. Dan Choi as well as grassroots organizers like Join the Impact: Chicago‘s awesomely jeans-and-hoodied Corrine Mina. Also, miraculously and without any rain, a rainbow appeared in the sky. So there’s what God thinks of that.

We may be criticized by older generations for being individualistic and demanding, but this kind of attitude has carried us to a point where we do not just want things, we expect them. Things kind of like, y’know, rights.

The rally kicked off with Rev. Troy Perry, founder of the Metropolitan Community Church, an International Protestant Christian denomination with a specific outreach to the LGBT community. Reading a letter from Desmond Tutu, Rev. Perry invoked the spirits of our predecessors—not just forerunners of the LGBT movement but also leaders in the Civil Rights Movement, advocates for education, and those fighting breast cancer and AIDS.

After looking reverently to the past, the speakers turned to our generation and told us what the crowd at the March already showed: we are a young, new generation of activists. And maybe that’s what we need. Never in the U.S. has the voice of dissent and demand been so loud as it has been when originated with the young, the newly passionate, and the naively enthusiastic. We may be criticized by older generations for being individualistic and demanding, but this kind of attitude has carried us to a point where we do not just want things, we expect them. Things kind of like, y’know, rights.

You’ve Gotta Fight for Your Right to Party

And we’ll fight for them, because we’re now at a place where we can. As Mixner reminded us, “They can’t take away our freedom—we already have it. It is ours, and we are going to fight to protect it!”

Being reminded of those who rallied and rioted and died in the streets before us, the beginning of the Rally for Equality instilled in the audience a sense of duty, not to the community or to the public, but to themselves. Trans activist Tobias Parker demanded this of the audience, “We must risk safety and comfort for the promise of equality. We must commit ourselves to fully authentic lives.”

These sentiments echo the message of the late Harvey Milk, who rallied his followers to come out to “the people you know, and who know you.” It was harder to come out in the 70s than it is today. Many of us live in places where we don’t have to fight to be unashamed or liberated. That’s the beautiful thing about our movement: the easiest way to accomplish it is just by living, and expecting what we deserve.

Equality Later

Despite its strong start, the March wore long into the afternoon, and as pointed out in our National Equality March recap, many of those without snacks didn’t make it through the 30+ speakers that Equality Across America lined up. And by “snacks,” I mostly mean “patience for a repetitive and lengthy message.”

Sunday’s speakers seemed very much to be trying to sell marriage to the crowd, to convince us that we should all rally around this one cause. And of course we should, but the speakers of the rally knew that their audience was one smart enough to care about more.

Rather than rallying the spirit of revolution, the lineup dwindled into little more than a hodgepodge of scattered causes and speakers getting their 15 minutes. And I once made a promise never to use the word ‘hodgepodge’ in my personal or professional life, so you know that means a lot.

Perhaps most interesting was the way many of the speakers handled the repeal of DOMA. The overarching message toward this repeal seemed a little on the defensive side, and, –aside from Cynthia Nixon, who was the first to offer a developed rationale on the subject—seemed to be caught in a vicious cycle of reasoning. We want marriage because it will bring us equality, but we can only attain equality through marriage.

What does this mean about our leaders, or what does that say about us? Sunday’s speakers seemed very much to be trying to sell marriage to the crowd, to convince us that we should all rally around this one cause. And of course we should, but the speakers of the rally knew that their audience was one smart enough to care about more.

We already know that there is nothing heteronormative about seeking equality. We know that, in our current structure, marriage is embedded within the law. We know that marriage shouldn’t be our number one priority because it is not through marriage that anyone should seek validity. But we also know that this is what’s possible and that this is where to start our fight.

Viva La Revolution!

By the time the afternoon died down, marchers left the mall with a renewed sense of solidarity, but something was missing.

Solidarity exists, but strings are attached. What were we there for, to demand equality or to spot celebrities and cruise girls? We need to be committed and focused on our movement. The celebrities and girls are just a plus.

What have we accomplished, really? We knew, when leaving, that tomorrow wouldn’t be any different than yesterday, but will we ever feel that tomorrow holds unreachable promise? Ultimately, all we can do is live with a social attitude of demand — of knowing that we deserve this, and that we can own it.

“I’m living in a time where [being out] is very possible,” said Cynthia Nixon to Autostraddle. “I’m lucky to be living now.”

Like anything in life, “never ask, never apologize” is the rule. If we’re going to expect rights, we can’t keep acting like we have to get permission. This isn’t high school and equal rights aren’t a bathroom pass. Asking only legitimizes the oppressor’s ideas that we should be seeking legitimacy through them.

“I’m living in a time where [being out] is very possible,” said Cynthia Nixon to Autostraddle. “I’m lucky to be living now.”

And who are we not to take advantage of this luck?

We’ve been dropped into history, we’re seeing the push for LGBT rights at its most critical point. We’re living our own revolution, and we can’t do it passively. We have to do it everywhere, and we have to do it for us, no compromises, no strings attached.

LGBTQ Community Divided, Not United, by Obama’s Speech to the HRC

Let me confess; I’m a believer. I’m a dreamer. I imagine all the people living life in peace, and for about five minutes following Obama’s speech to the HRC last week, I believed that we would. But in the days following, compelling arguments have been made on both sides. But that’s just it — people are taking sides now. Are you an Obama believer or a critic? Do you think he’s pandering to the fancy HRC so he can take our money and run, or do you think it’s meaningful that he even offered WORDS, considering the political climate of the health care debate?

Personally, I’m somewhere in the middle. I’m critical for the same reasons the critics are: inaction on DADT, too many empty promises. We can’t say “Wait” and “now is not the time” forever, we have to fight. We need radical voices to enable moderate voices.

But on the other hand, observing straight America’s reaction to last weekend’s events has hammered home an inconvenient truth: for as long as gay rights have no direct impact on the lives of heterosexuals, we must pay attention to how often The Majority hears our demands as impatient whining. To many who don’t feel personally affected by the content of Obama’s speech, the speech sounded good enough. He did, after all, acknowledge that things are not moving as quickly as we’d like. We do know this, though: we need straight votes to win our rights and I believe we can best impact change at the ground level with other voters.

“Even for the most empathetic, liberal, passionate activists I know, our marriage rights do not, in any way, directly affect their lives. But they’re as involved as they can be, because they know us and they know what’s right. Unfortunately this is the exception, not the rule.”

Last week I attended my best friend’s wedding and my girlfriend & I were delighted to hear “I vow to keep fighting for equality so that all our friends can get married,” in the marriage vows of both bride and groom, and we felt similarly warmed by cards on every dinner table reading; “We’ve given a gift on behalf of the guests of this wedding to the Marriage Equality Campaign in Maine. We got married today, but many of our friends and loved ones are still not able to do the same. That has to change.”

In a few weeks, my other best friend’s fiancee will be moving here from overseas. When he arrives, he’ll be able to obtain citizenship via their relationship. Were they a same-sex couple, this wouldn’t be possible and they’d probably just have to break up.

Both of these friends identify as “label-free” and are the most bleeding heart liberals I know; Natalie works for a Women’s Rights NGO and writes for Autostraddle, Krista’s husband runs Moveon.org and Krista herself is literally the most politically passionate person I know; even when underemployed she donated regularly to Planned Parenthood, the HRC, and about 100 other orgs that flooded our shared mailbox with free address labels.

But they’re able to take advantage of their rights anyhow — as they should. Our biggest supporters are getting married, and we can’t. The wedding itself was a reminder that their activism is a choice, and ours is not. Even for the most empathetic, liberal, passionate activists I know, our marriage rights do not, in any way, directly affect their lives. But they’re as involved as they can be, because they know us and they know what’s right. Unfortunately this is the exception, not the rule.

Straight support of our causes is key to our success, but for a movement that continually stresses our non-impact on our fellow citizens — as Keith Olberman so powerfully asked those who voted Yes on 8, Why does this matter to you, what is it to you? — it’s not surprising that much of mainstream America hears our demands as irrelevant whining.

Because it is nothing to them. The other side has strategically unfurled a Pandora’s Box of potential viruses same-sex marriage will unleash upon schools & churches — in fact, their public campaigns rarely address their true motivations (money, fear, religious bureaucracy)  — but we haven’t done much on our side to display a treasure chest of potential charms same-sex marriage will offer our schools, churches, economy, national spirit and society. We need to make gay marriage, DADT, hate crimes laws and employee discrimination matter to straight people.

So where do we stand? Do we think Obama is full of shit? Maybe. We’re still split and I think we’ll be better able to judge in a few weeks. He hasn’t had a chance to follow through on the promises he made Friday night — the first he’s made while in office, which is different than campaign promises – ’cause he just made them! [It’s like when your Mom wants you to mow the lawn by the end of the weekend and on Saturday starts nagging you about it, and you’re like, hello, I’m doing it Sunday!]

But we lean towards the “grassroots is where it’s at” side.  We think it’s more effective for us to convince our fellow citizens that change must come so they’ll all donate to Prop 1 when they get married, too, and march with us. Obama doesn’t read our blogs, but our parents and our classmates and co-workers CAN.

So, in lieu of the typical round-up of gay media reactions to news stories, I’m gonna tell you what the mainstream media thought of last weekend so you can prepare to change people personally.

The Detroit Free Press: “With two wars, health care and the economy crowding his plate, you’d think President Barack Obama would have no room for another entrée-sized issue. In his Saturday speech to the Human Rights Campaign, the president added gay rights initiatives to his near-term agenda.”

Huffington Post’s Adele Stan: “After Obama spoke, activists focused on what they did not hear. The rest of it sounded old to them. To me, it sounded remarkably new.”

Atlanta Journal-Constitution: Obama Deserves More Time on Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell: “But let me say a difficult thing: Obama is right too.”

Former (Gay) US Ambassador Jim Hormel: I am as eager as anyone else to have action on the various pieces of legislation — some of which are a generation old — like ENDA (Employment Non-Discrimination Act). ENDA has been in the Senate for a literal generation. So when I exercise any restraint whatsoever — it’s out of knowledge and awareness of the atmosphere under which the president is operating.”

The Nation: Gay Activists Split on Obama.

John Harwood: “Barack Obama is doing well with 90 precent or more of Democrats so the White House views this opposition as really part of the Internet left fringe.”

National Review Online: [it’s by Maggie Gallagher, so click at your own risk] “Pity President Obama. He’s done more, more quickly, for gay people than any president in history but it’s clearly not enough.”

New York Times: “President Obama Saturday renewed his vow to allow gay men and lesbians to serve openly in the military, but failed to offer a timetable for doing so — an omission likely to inflame critics who say he is not fighting aggressively enough for gay rights.

In related news:

SOLMONESE: Joe Solmonese just keeps saying things. Like this, which is his response to a question about why diversity in the HRC: But I think that… perhaps the crowd at the dinner last night was a little bit more politically aware and had a better sense of maybe, you know, what’s at stake and what needs to be done. Way to sidestep a really important issue while simultaneously slighting everyone who couldn’t afford to be at Saturday night’s dinner. (@huffpo)

LIEBERMAN: Obama is actually talking to people on the Hill about repealing DADT. The Advocate is reporting that the administration is in direct talks with Joe Lieberman and is working to “introduce Senate legislation with bipartisan support.” (@advocate)

National Equality March Inspires Solidarity, Provides Attractive Lesbian Activists

Katrina Casino Danger Prepares to Assault with Press Pass

It’s the kind of day where anything can happen. It’s the kind of day you can bust through the D.C. Metro doors, fly through the turnstiles, and run up the empty down escalator yelling “Equality!” over and over again and instead of being arrested or hate-crimed, a line of shiny happy gays will hear you from ground level and are already cheering you on.

On one of the last straggling days of summery skies and subsequent sunburns, Equality Across America lured queer freedom fighters, the out & proud, the ambitious allies and the hungover & downtrodden from across the nation — and one from across the pond who may or may not have edited the lyrics to “America the Beautiful” once or twice — to the National Mall in Washington, D.C., site of The National Equality March for GLBTQ rights.

Autostraddle was there. We’re going to give you a complete round-up, including our video from the event and interviews Cynthia Nixon and Dan Choi later this week, but while the magic is still fresh in my head and the event is still fresh in yours, this here is my mini-recap of our lesbian journey to The National Equality March.

We Would Have it No Other Way:
Riese: Do you have a dictaphone and camera for tomorrow?
Katrina: No! But! I have a notebook and very uh — very fast-moving hands!
Riese: Of course Autostraddle is the site that gave their press pass to a massively hungover punk with fast-moving hands.
Katrina: Yeah, it’s like, the future?

[We found a camera]

National Equality Marches are Good for Lesbian Girls

There’s one big difference between the National Equality March and the last dehydrated Autostraddle walkathon Gay Pride I noticed right away. I mean, besides the fact that one is a call to arms and the other was a streamer-infused, glitter-raining summer dance party.

If you guessed “the gay ladies showed up in full force to this one,” you’d be right!

This probably was reflective of the idea that queer women’s spaces tended to shy from the mainstream bar-and-club scene and toward activist and community-based areas. This also may have been an early birthday present to me, as this scene was full of activists, and activists are very attractive.

The downside to this not being Gay Pride was a distinct lack of techno-infused paper mache floats, but then Lady GaGa showed up (in suspenders, probably because she read our Fall Style Guide), and Gaga said it was good.

National Equality March Shows Strength in Numbers

The up side of this endeavor was the strong presence of solidarity. Although the march lacked a definitive goal (“equality,” though totally legit, can be a bit vague), and marching on Washington has yet to successfully move LGBT legislation, the National Equality March was more a showing; it was strength in numbers.

Katrina Fast Hands Dan Choi

Also we were not marching behind a proud pack of aged nudists. So there was that too.

Chants varied from the standard “Gay, straight, black, white/Marriage is a civil right” to the slightly rhetorically slippery “What do we want? Equality! When do we want it? Yesterday!” to the surprising throwback “Harvey Milk was right/Show your pride and fight!”

Some of my favorite sings included “LevitiKiss My Ass,” “God Hates Shrimp” and “I like it and I wanna put on a ring on it.”

Also favorable was the great bounty of high-profile activists and celebrities that we stumbled upon (like literally… sorry, Kristin Chenoweth!), including the lovely and talented Cynthia Nixon and discharged combat veteran/Knights Out activist (and Autostraddle lesbro) Lt. Dan Choi.

High (and low)lights from the Rally:

There’s no secret about this: rallies are called rallies for a reason. Speakers and performers gather at the end of a march to, well, rally the crowd and ignite passion within their communities. They’re supposed to make the feeling last and inspire the activists to activate.

And for a little while it did. The rally started out strong: inclusive of a spectrum of identities, respectful of and thankful to our predecessors, critical of our current administration but not radically so (with a few exceptions), and hopeful for a new generation of activists, the lineup of speakers covered every base.

Above all they came together to offer the idea that the gay generation gap is reconcilable, that we can combine the wisdom of gay rights veterans with the energy and innovation of the new grassroots campaigners. Furthermore, there’s no more opportune time to finally demand our rights. The time is finally right, they said, to be out, not because we seek validation, but because we owe it to ourselves to live the truth, and we are finally reaching a time where this kind of life is possible.

Although many of the opening speakers stressed the importance of grassroots organization, the glossy stage and big screens seemed a far cry from Harvey Milk’s soapbox-and-megaphone speeches. The lineup, consisting of around 30 speakers, often seemed more a chance for face time or an audition process for America’s Next Top Civil Rights Leader.

And yes, President Lady GaGa was loud and fabulous and disco stick-shatteringly close to me (I was almost forced to pull a KC Danger, hypothetically removing my pants and hurling them at the stage only to be dragged away in my lesbian boyshorts by security), but one couldn’t help but wonder whether crowd members were there to rally for rights or to cheerlead for the pop star.

BUT…

In the end, it was a gathering. 200,000 people piled seven blocks deep down the National Mall to show solidarity when they said there wouldn’t be. It was a chance for sign-wielding, plaid-wearing lesbians and their friends to make out in front of the White House see others support a cause once thought impossible.

Viva la revolution, eh?

Lesbians Come Out to the DC Streets for National Equality March

NATIONAL EQUALITY MARCH: I don’t know if you heard, but there was this Equality March thingie that happened this weekend in Washington D.C.; the crowd was huge, diverse, inspiring and quite creatively dressed. Intrepid Intern Katrina Casino was our on-the-scene reporter, we took a lot of video and we’ll have the full scoop for you unrolling this week. In the meantime, check out our awesome gallery of photos from the event.

At TIME, will a new generation of activists be heard? At The Independent, what’s stopping Obama from striking down DADT?

Just how many people showed up? Depends on who you ask, anywhere from 20,000 to 200,000. Over at inlookingout’s youtube channel, you can all the speakers including Staceyann Chinn, Kate Clinton, Dustin Lance Black, Cleve Jones, Julian Bond, Judy Shepard, Lt. Dan Choi, and a special performance from the cast of HAIR.

Was it worth it? We say: HELL YES. It provided an opportunity for gays to get together and exist in a context besides the more strictly-fun-oriented Pride Marches so often criticized for their shirtless speedo-wearing muscle dudes and we made the front page of a lot of news sources yesterday, which remains very rare these days.

LADY GAGA: Lady Gaga Speaks on the National Mall:

MIRANDA: Cynthia Nixon speaks on the National Mall:

DAN CHOI: Hundreds of LGBT activists and allies gathered at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier on a rainy Saturday afternoon at Arlington National Cemetery to watch DADT-discharge and Arabic linguist Lt. Dan Choi dedicate a wreath to gay and lesbian soldiers who have fallen in the line of duty.

LEFT OUT: Black gay & lesbian couples had higher poverty rates than their black straight counterparts and three times higher than white gay couples, but black working class gays are left out of national gay rights agenda.

THIS SUCKS BAD: One of the four buses transporting Join the Impact marchers from Chicago to New York City for the march broke down in Toledo, Ohio and eventually was able to transport everyone on it … back to Chicago, stranding many of the group’s organizers, signs, and Intern Elizabeth!

POLL: 57% of Americans support Civil Unions for Gay & Lesbian couples. That’s it? WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU THE OTHER 43%??!!! I DON’T KNOW YOU, AND YOU CONFUSE ME.

HATERS: Oh! Here you are. Over at WORLDMag‘s “Obama’s Pledge to Redefine Marriage,” we can see in the comments that an announcement considered to be “not enough” by many gay activists is pretty apocalyptic according to the other side. We’re reminded by commenters that:

“What gets me is how so many want to corrupt the definition of marriage. I watched some of their speakers in DC yesterday and felt such pity for them. Bisexuals, transexuals, homosexual men, lesbians – all proudly defiant in playing their roles victims. Heartbreaking.”

“As a married heterosexual soldier, I’m entitled to on base quarters for my family in the housing area. If a gay man and his constant companion get “married” in a state recognizing it and the Federal govt RECOGNIZES that marriage, all of you–whether you approve it or not– will be providing [gays] on-base subsidized house in a neighborhood overflowing with young children. No wife would accept as normal her husband’s grabbing tail on the side. Male homosexuals from my review of the literature fully expect as a given that there will be occasional flings outside the marriage … Lesbians in contrast tend to be loyal to their partner even if not “married”.

LADY GAGA: Lady Gaga Performs John Lennon’s “Imagine” at the HRC Dinner:

Autostraddle’s National Equality March Photo Gallery

On October 10th, 2009, a whole bunch of gays, lesbians, transpeople, queers, bisexuals,  and allies marched on Washington DC to demand marriage equality, an end to employment discrimination and the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell policy.

Autostraddle marched and witnessed the splendor on the grass. Here’s some photos we took (thanks for the digital camera, Gay Mom!) from the ground.

VIDEO: Haviland & Riese for the National Equality March … And More!

Usually nothing happens on Saturday on Autostraddle but this Saturday is not like all other Saturdays. Firstly, it’s National Coming Out Week. Intern Hot Laura came out to her grandmother last week (success) and Intern Elizabeth came out to her parents this week (success). So if you add that to COO Brooke, who had to come out ’cause um, she’s our COO, and Intern Emily & Intern Vashti who came out following our When I Knew extravaganza, we’re TOTALLY ON A COMING OUT ROLL. WHO’S NEXT MOTHERF*CKERS?!!

For starters, we have this video, because We’re Going to Washington for October’s National Equality March and You Should Too:

VIDEO: Haviland & Riese hope to see you at the National Equality March, look, we even made a video for you. Also obvs this means there is a vlog in the works, so stay tuned for that!

Because we hope you’re gonna come to the National Equality March this weekend. Obama and Lady Gaga are gonna be there so why not.

Also Carlytron’s Glee Recap for Episode 106 is up, and also IT IS REALLY FUNNY.

Remember Lily’s College Lesbianage #1? Probs because everyone loved it so much! Read the Latest Adventures of Lilyflower now in College Lesbianage #2!

Also ! OMG! SO MANY THINGS RIGHT??? In honor of Whip It! and last week’s awesome feature on USA Rugby Player Phaidra Knight we have assembled a smokin’ hot girl-on-gallery of athletic ladies and sporty sexy girls in athletic apparel for you to drool over.

Also, check out Natalie’s latest: Lesbian Soldier Denied DADT Discharge Now Seeking Canadian Asylum: Autostraddle Interviews Pte. Skyler James … some super compelling stories are happening in the comments now, too.!

Obama To Deliver Keynote Address at the HRC Dinner October 10

THIS JUST IN: President Barack Obama will be delivering the keynote address at the 13th Annual Human Rights Campaign Dinner, which is the night before the National Equality March, which must mean he’s gonna be in town for the march. Hopefully he’ll promise everyone equal rights, overturn DOMA, stop DADT discharges, give Dan Choi his job back. I’d love to see a photo of Obama and Dan Choi shaking hands and smiling like Forrest Gump.

“We are honored to share this night with President Obama, who has called upon our nation to embrace LGBT people as brothers and sisters,” said Human Rights Campaign President Joe Solmonese.  “It is fitting that he will speak to our community on the night that we pay tribute to his friend and mentor Senator Edward Kennedy, who knew that as president, Barack Obama would take on the unfinished business of this nation – equal rights for the LGBT community, and for every person who believes in liberty and justice for all.”

BACK TO OLD-FASHIONED BRIDE & SUGAR-FREE PARENTING: Three aggressively heterosexual Conde Nast titles, Cookie, Modern Bride and Elegant Bride, along with aggressively complicated Gourmet shuttered today, leaving many of you in the lurch! Where will you get tips on how to buy an overpriced stroller, how to stay emaciated fit during pregnancy or how to cope with a stay-at-home Dad? You can now take these burning questions to Laneia‘s twitter between 8 AM and 9 PM PST, Mombian, Up Popped a Fox, Lesbian Dad or Babble.com (here; a lesbian ponders why her biracial child makes some people uncomfortable) which is responsible for me knowing anything about parenting at all, since I was interning at nerve.com while they were planning to launch Babble.

No but really, Cookie was a reasonably decent magazine, and as for some mysterious reason I never cared much about my wedding, I’ve never so much as glanced at Modern Bride. Alas, I’ll be up shit creek without a paddle for questions like, What kind of “stylish yet macho gifts” will “my man’s” groomsmen love? Hopefully next time you want to know if you can go without bridesmaids (and all the costs they absorb for you to celebrate your union!), you’ll go elsewhere, ’cause Modern Bride says NO you cannot go without bridesmaids! Because of all the things they purchase “functions” they serve! But never fear, there’s also valuable advice on how to ditch “imperfect” bridesmaids, like the slut and the drunk.

Obviously all things wedding-related are the domain of Robin Roemer esteemed wedding photographer, whiteknot.org, rock ‘n roll bride or offbeatbride.

Actually though, there’s two weddings I’m really excited about this week, my high school BFF is tying the knot on Friday in a park in Brooklyn (we’re allowed to wear jeans, there are no bridesmaids) and Jim & Pam from The Office!

SPEAKING OF MARRIAGE LADY GAGA WANTS YOU TO GO TO THE NATIONAL EQUALITY MARCH SO DO IT! We are!

CONSERVATIVE NONSENSE: Maddow Wonders Why Conservatives Are Celebrating Olympic Failure – And why The Weekly Standard changed its article about “cheers erupting” in their newsroom following Maddow’s tweet about that article. (@mediaite)

MARCHING: Harry Reid (D-NV) Endorses National Equality March: On Friday Reid announced that the Senate would remain in session through Columbus Day weekend in order to finish work on the health care reform bill. Will Reid speak at the March? (@joemygod)

NOT WHAT WE NEED RIGHT NOW: Lesbian Arrested for $6M Embezzlement: One day I’d like to see an article titled “Heterosexual Arrested for 6M Embezzlement.”. (@advocate)

GATHERING STORM OF BAD ACTORS: Queerty asks, Why Does Maine’s Yes on 1 Campaign Have to Use Fake People to Promote its Radical Agenda? Where, one must wonder, are all these Mainers who want to strip away their neighbors’ marriage rights? So far, the “real people” S4MM uses are actually recycled anti-gay parents already used in California’s Prop 8 fight. Like their argument, their media strategy is tired. This is just lazy, no work ethic! (@queerty)

GAY MARRIAGE: Gay Marriage Bill Introduced in Illinois For the First Time: “Separate is never equal,” State Senator Heather Steans said in an interview with ChicagoPride.com. “This issue has been languishing too long and nationwide the sentiment is in favor of protecting LGBT citizens.” That’s great but, Jim Madigan, Steans’ openly gay rival for the very-gay 7th District seat, criticized Steans for introducing the bill with only two weeks left in the legislative session and ignoring the progress of existing civil union legislation. Speaking to the RedEye, he referred to it as a publicity stunt to attract gay voters. (@chicagoist)

News & Politics Round-Up: Gay Divorce in Texas, Lesbians Defy Preconceptions, Bad Sex Ed is Back

GAY DIVORCE: Gay people still can’t get married in Texas, but the state can now divorce them. A Texas judge ruled Thursday that Texas can grant divorces to gay couples married in other states. She also called Texas’s gay marriage ban unconstitutional. But don’t expect the ruling to go unchallenged. Republican Attorney General Greg Abbott is already planning his appeal. In fact, a ruling like this happened once back in 2003, and Abbott got it reversed. Texas’s constitutional amendment banning gay marriage probably isn’t going anywhere for a while, either.(@dallasnews)

HAVILAND STILLWELL WARRIOR: Guess who’s guest-blogging at California’s National Organization for Women website this month? Haviland Stillwell, obvs! Our favorite part is how the first commenter assumed she wasn’t a lesbian and asked why they didn’t have a member of the GLBTQ community covering the march instead of her. Oh, the deceptive qualities of long hair! Anyhow, we love NOW and this partnership is going to be awesome on 40 levels. (@now)

PARTNERSHIP: Nevada issued its first domestic partnership certificate Thursday. The state still bans gay marriage, but the partnerships provide most of the same rights given to married couples. It’s nice to know everyone now has an equal opportunity to elope to Las Vegas. (@associatedpress)

DON’T ASK, DON’T TELL: The Boston Globe reports that an upcoming issue of Joint Force Quarterly, the Pentagon’s top scholarly journal, will include an article that calls for an end to the ban on gays and lesbians serving openly in the military; “the military is essentially forcing thousands of gay men and women to lead dishonest lives in an organization that emphasizes integrity as a fundamental tenet.” (@bostonglobe)

SEX ED: John Stewart takes the democrats to task for not really accomplishing much besides restoring funding for Title V abstinence-only programs:

NATIONAL EQUALITY MARCH: Queerty talks about what next weekend’s National Equality March means to them. “It’s about you. It’s about us. And it’s not even about “activism.” It’s about the right to live in a free country as equals. It’s something we’ve all been raised to believe isn’t just possible, but fair and just.” Judy Shepard, Cleve Jones, David Mixner, Lt. Dan Choi and Dustin Lance Black are just a few of the scheduled speakers for the National Equality March. (@queerty)

GAY RIGHTS ACTIVIST IN THE NFL: NFL players Brendon Ayanbadejo and Scott Fujita speak out for gay rights. Ayanbadejo: “I think we will look back in 10, 20, 30 years and be amazed that gays and lesbians did not have the same rights as every one else. How did this ever happen in the land of the free and the home of the brave? Are we really free?”

ATLANTA GAY WEDDING CONTROVERSY: A homophobic email about a gay wedding has caused drama at Morehouse College in Atlanta — and “while this is obviously a story about homophobia, it’s also an illustration of the level of desperation out there of a slice of black women who are weary of the lack of available “marriage-worthy” black men.”

This Florida Court Doesn’t Really Care About Your Gay Feelings, Rights, Lives, Children

THIS SUCKS: You may have heard this story because it’s one of the most heartbreaking ones out there — only moments after boarding an R-Family Cruise in 2007, Janice Langbehn’s partner of 18 years, Lisa Pond, suffered an aneurysm and was sent to the Jackson Memorial Hospital, where the hospital refused to allow Langbehn or their children access to Pond, despite Power of Attourney papers faxed immediately from Washington (their home). Lisa Pond died about 18 hours after being admitted.

Some selections from Langbehn’s 2007 speech to the Family Equality Council:

A social worker appeared to inform me that I was — and I quote — “in an anti-gay city and state.” He explained that this meant I would not be allowed to see Lisa or make decisions about her care ...

“For five hours, Lisa lay at Ryder Trauma Center moving toward brain death and yet no one was there to hold her hand and talk to her and tell her how much she was loved.”

The Southern District of Florida’s court has thrown out Lambda Legal’s case against the discriminating hospital filed in June 2008 on behalf of Langbehn, the Estate of Lisa Pond and their three children. “The court’s decision paints a tragically stark picture of how vulnerable same-sex couples and their families really are during times of crisis. We hope that because of Janice’s courage to seek justice for her family in this case that more people better understand the costs of antigay discrimination.” You can read Janice’s take at Justice Denied, Justice Delayed. (@towelroad)

PEACE: If Gavin Creel wants to go to the National Equality March, the entire cast of Hair will go to the National Equality March! The artistic director of the Public Theater was concerned that canceling a matinee wouldn’t go over well with producers, but to his surprise they were totally up for it — it’s an inspiring story, much like the musical itself. (@nytimes)

Sidenote: Autostraddle is going! Riese, Alex, Brooke, Internicaine Katrina, Intern Lily, Intern X, Intern Emily, Intern Hot Laura and Intern Elizabeth are DEFO going. Really you should go! It’s gonna be fun!

ETA: Intern Tirna = ALSO GOING.

ETA #2: Intern Lola = ALSO IS COMING.

“We are really counting on New York to get on the buses and trains and come down. We need New York. This isn’t Lollapalooza or a circuit party.” (Cleve Jones)

GENDER: “Know what’s a truly responsible use of advertising? Capitalizing on a gender scandal to promote your strip club. South Africa’s Teazers threw up this ad, playing off track star Caster Semenya’s forced gender testing.” (@queerty)

NICE LEADERSHIP: The new president of the U.N. General Assembly believes homosexuality is unacceptable Under the Bush administration, the United States had initially refused to support the resolution [to condemn human rights violations based on sexual orientation or gender identity], but the Obama administration reversed that position, announcing full support for the measure in May. (@go magazine)

HATE CRIMES: The gay Marine whose billboard was vandalized speaks out: “A spokeswoman for the board says, “It’s banned because the story is based on gay life… There are a lot of sex scenes. It’s contrary to our culture.” (@san fransisco chronicle)

We’re Going to Washington for October’s National Equality March and You Should Too

Listen up girls, grrrls, women, men, boys, bois and non-gender-identified people!

Autostraddle’s got an announcement to make:

We’re throwing a giant party on the National Mall and everyone should come.

No, kidding, but there is for reals going to be a March on Washington next month for LGBT equality, and y’all should really be there. Autostraddle is going!

First, here’s the breakdown:

Who: Equality Across America

What: National Equality March
Where: the National Mall in Washington, DC
When: October 10-11
Why: According to Equality Across America, “Equal protection in all matters governed by civil law in all 50 states. Let our elected leaders know that now is the time for full rights for LGBT people.”

Equal protection includes, but isn’t limited to; a repeal of DOMA, a repeal of DADT, the passage of ENDA to end workplace discrimination, the right of same-sex couples to adopt children and raise families, the passage of hate crimes legislation, immigration reform that recognizes same-sex couples (aka me marrying Intern Emily so she can move freely between Autostraddle headquarters and Canada) and a push for comprehensive anti-bullying policy through the Safe Schools Improvement Act.

The Equality March is slotted to coincide with National Coming Out Day and also marks 30 years since the first National March on Washington for Gay and Lesbian Rights. (more…)