Lesbian Weddings on TV: From Carol and Susan to Bette and Tina

The history of the TV lesbian wedding starts with Friends and takes a long and winding road towards this very day, when the Lesbian Television Titans Bette and Tina will be getting (re) married on the season finale of The L Word: Generation Q.

Let’s take a look back at all the weddings that have carried us from then to here.

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1996: Friends, “The One With the Lesbian Wedding”

31.6 million people tuned in to see Newt Gingrich’s half-sibling, Candace, officiate the ceremony between Ross’s ex-wife Carol and her partner Susan — the first lesbian wedding on American television. (The first same-sex marriage was between two men on Roseanne.) After Carol’s parents bailed on the ceremony — a staple of lesbian weddings on TV — Carol wanted to call the whole thing off, but instead Ross proudly walked her down the aisle. Two network affiliates refused to air the episode, and despite the buzz and high ratings, only four people called NBC to complain. It probably helped that Carol and Susan did not actually kiss at their own wedding. But Lea Delaria was there and the hats were ICONIC.

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2002: Queer as Folk, “The Wedding”

In typical QAF fashion, a bulk of this episode — the first same-sex wedding on cable TV — was consumed by the gay male characters making disparaging jokes about lesbians! The couple faced numerous obstacles on the way to the symbolic aisle, including Lindsay’s parents refusing to help pay for her wedding despite covering her sisters’ three weddings because Lindsay’s wasn’t “real.” There’s mix-ups with every element of the ceremony itself, leading Mel and Lindsay to call the whole thing off. But the gay boys rally together to save the day and provide a splendid little venue where the officiant declares them “married in our eyes.” They walk themselves down the aisle.

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2005: The Simpsons, “There’s Something About Marrying”

The first same-sex wedding in an animated series arrived during a time when marriage equality was a hot-button issue following the success of several anti-equality amendments during the 2004 election. Inspired by San Francisco’s 2004 same-sex wedding bonanza, the plot concerns the Simpsons’ home of Springfield legalizing same-sex marriage to improve their waning tourism industry, which leads to Homer starting a side-hustle as a gay wedding officiant and Marge confronting her own homophobia when her sister, Patty, turns out to be a lesbian. Gambling websites were posting odds on who’d come out in the episode and 10.5 million tuned in to witness it, the season’s highest ratings. Although the wedding ended up getting canceled mid-ceremony when Veronica turned out to be a cis man who’d posed as a woman to succeed at golf (the mid-aughts, everybody!!!), it was still lauded by GLAAD and queer media, and Homer did marry other lesbian couples throughout the course of the episode.

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2009: All My Children

“For most of Bianca Montgomery’s life, love had been hard to come by and, in the rare instance where her affections were requited, the romance took place almost entirely off-screen. But with Reese Williams, Bianca was finally given the opportunity to love another person, on-screen. Their love story started (off-screen) in Paris — the love-at-first-sight story that Bianca deserved — but became real when the couple (and their daughters) reunited in Pine Valley.

Soon after Reese’s arrival, it becomes clear how serious this relationship is: they have a new daughter, Reese has secretly designed and built Bianca’s Parisian dream house, and Reese tearfully proposes to her “beautiful Bianca.” They share deep kisses…a far cry from the chaste kisses that Bianca had previously been afforded.

Originally, the couple planned to host a commitment ceremony in Bianca’s hometown but once Connecticut legalized gay marriage in October 2008, the celebration moved to a couple of states over. Bianca and Reese exchanged vows on Valentine’s Day 2009 in the first ever same-sex wedding on daytime television, but, sadly, their marriage was annulled shortly thereafter.” (Natalie)

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2011: Private Practice, “Heaven Can Wait”

Technically this is the first lesbian wedding on a network TV drama, but most remember Callie and Arizona’s wedding on Grey’s Anatomy as the ceremony relevant to that specific milestone. After a 20 year secret relationship, Addison’s mother Bizzy and her girlfriend Susan chose to marry despite Susan’s dire diagnosis of stage IV ovarian cancer. Addison performed a Hail Mary surgery on Susan at Bizzy’s urgency, which Susan emerged from feeling better — well enough to participate in the wedding Addison planned for them both. However, it turned out Susan wasn’t actually better at all, she was just trying really hard to make it to her own wedding. She collapsed and died after the ceremony, and Bizzy’s grief led her to commit suicide shortly thereafter. Bury Your Gays at its finest! 

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2011: Grey’s Anatomy, “White Wedding“

The first lesbian wedding in a network drama between two long-running characters was bittersweet. Callie struggled throughout the episode with her homophobic mother who reminded her that the marriage wasn’t legal, they’re just “playing dress-up,” and then refused to attend, which also meant her father couldn’t attend. Callie, in the grand tradition of seemingly all lesbian brides on television, decided to call the whole thing off after the minister had to cancel. But again everybody rallied! Miranda gave Callie an inspirational talk and the father of Callie and Arizona’s child, Mark, walked Callie down the aisle. Callie’s Dad showed up late for the party and it was beautiful and nothing hurt!

The weird thing about this wedding was how it was paired with Meredith and Derek’s storyline: they met a baby they wanted to adopt and decided that very day to just bop in to City Hall and get married to enable them to perform a legal adoption, even skipping the Calizona wedding to do so. It’s unclear how the show itself intended this juxtaposition to land, but it ended up feeling a bit like straight people flaunting their privileges while two queer women struggled to find joy despite their relative lack thereof.

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2013: The Fosters, “I Do”

“Stef and Lena Adams Foster are the closest thing we’ve ever had to a lesbian Coach and Tammy Taylor in our lives. Their love was the stabilizing force for everyone around them, especially the gaggle of children that were always running in and out of their home. Sometimes they even made time for themselves! Their wedding was extra special because it was the first lesbian TV wedding after the Supreme Court overturned the Defense of Marriage Act in 2012, and because it took place on the network that started out as a megaphone in Baptist bigot Pat Robertson’s media empire, before it became ABC Family, and then Freeform. Knowing an interracial lesbian couple got married on his former network absolutely ruined his day! It also made us cry, but for good reasons.” -Heather Hogan

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2015: Last Tango in Halifax, “Old Ain’t Dead”

After being praised for the love story granted to late-in-life lesbian Caroline, her wedding to very pregnant Kate (the only woman of color on the show) was immediately followed by Kate getting killed in a post-wedding car accident. Sally Wainwright (who later went on to be the showrunner for Gentleman Jack) defended her choice at the time as a way to bring Caroline closer to her mother. As Kaite Welsh wrote at the time, “she has killed off a queer woman to redeem a homophobic, judgmental snob who refused to go to her own daughter’s wedding.” A heartwarming event followed by a devastating death, this was one of many that contributed to the LGBT Fans Deserve Better movement of 2016 that challenged the Bury Your Gays trope. It also brought back memories for fans of Los Hombres de Paco, who saw Silvia murdered directly after her wedding to her girlfriend in 2010.

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2015: Glee, “A Wedding”

Definitely the only lesbian TV wedding where the happy lesbian couple invited their gay male friends to join the ceremony in a double wedding held in the Indiana barn where one of the brides was born, Brittany and Santana got hitched mere months prior to the federal legalization of same-sex marriage. It honestly seemed extraordinary at the time that a network show would dare to have two queer OTPs, let alone give them a double wedding — and while it was a lot of fanservice, the fans deserved it for our service. The ceremony included an acknowledgment from officiant Burt Hummel of how unjust it was that they had to travel to Indiana from Ohio to marry legally and an affirmation of the importance of marriage equality. Jennifer Coolidge, Gloria Estefan and Gina Gershon performed “I’m So Excited!” and that was pretty wild. Bonus: Sue Sylvester manages to manipulative Santana’s Abuela into changing her mind about skipping the wedding, thwarting the lesbian TV wedding trope of “at least one relative missing bc of homophobia.”

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2015: One Big Happy, “A Tale of Two Hubbies“

This NBC sitcom was heralded as the first to have a lesbian lead since Ellen but debuted to middling reviews and ended up swiftly cancelled. It centered on two chronically single thirtysomethings: Lizzie, a lesbian who has a baby with her best friend Luke (a straight man), but finds their co-parenting best friendship threatened when he falls for Prudence. In what ended up being the series finale, Luke f*cks up and misses his wedding to Pru so… Lizzie goes ahead and makes it happen all on her own, marrying Prudence herself to stop Pru from getting deported. Despite the frustration that a lesbian is sacrificing her own shot at marrying someone she’s actually dating with in order to help straight people, it was the first time we saw on TV a lesbian being able to exploit the institution of marriage for practical rather than romantic purposes, which is equality! (The second time was a year later on Shameless, when V married Svetlana.)

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2016: Hollyoaks, Episode 4444

British soap Hollyoaks sent Esther and Kim through several rounds of drama before the two finally tied the knot in an effort to prove to everybody and themselves that they were in it for real this time. Unfortunately Kim is kidnapped mere hours after the wedding, causing Esther to think Kim has left her, but then she returned a few weeks later.

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2017: The Last Man On Earth, “Gender Friender”

This sitcom about the sole survivors of a pandemic that wiped out most of humanity in 2020 (lol) saw the mid-final-season wedding of Erica and Gail under some interesting circumstances — their fellow survivor Carol complaining that Gail was spending too much time with her girlfriend’s children and not enough with her “legal grandchildren” (because Gail had adopted Carol in the previous season because Carol wanted her twins to have a grandmother), thus over-valuing a relationship that wasn’t legally binding. So Gail and Erica fight about it — Gail says they already live together and raise a kid together and all they lack is a “stupid piece of paper.” Erica doesn’t think the piece of paper is stupid! So Gail eventually caves and the very next day, they’re married by Tandy, who mostly uses his officiant duties to further his own storyline about trying to prove that he’s a feminist, peppered with jokes about bushes, strap-ons, penetration and scissoring!

It says something, maybe, that even when you live in a society of seven (7) grown adults with no recognized government, the concept of “legal marriage” still holds such immense weight.

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2018: Steven Universe, “Reuinted“

“When Garnet revealed that she is actually a fusion of two lesbian gems, Ruby and Sapphire, it threw the entire cartoon-loving queer world into chaotic raptures. We’re only used to bad surprises! This was the best surprise! They stayed fused together, almost all the time, but they got married as their solo gem selves. It was groundbreaking for sure, the first all-ages series to have a queer wedding! It was on Cartoon Network for heck’s sake! And it was also revolutionary for the way it flipped gender expectations, and then used Ruby and Sapphire’s wedding reception as a showdown for one of the series’ scariest Big Bads. “I am the will of two gems to care for each other, to protect each other from any threat,” Garnet says, powering up her fists in her wedding dress. “No matter how vast or how cruel. You couldn’t stop me 5,750 years ago and you can’t stop me now!” The power of love, emphasis on power!” – Heather Hogan

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2018: Sense8, “Amor Vincit Omnia“

This is the first lesbian TV wedding with a trans bride but it’s also unique for how queer it felt: not simply because Nomi shared a consciousness with a bunch of other pansexuals in attendance but also their non-traditional wedding garb, the gay fairies handing out weed brownies and the gloriously diverse raucous dance party that followed. The techno lights on the Eiffel Tower. And afterwards, all the sensates retiring to their respective hotel rooms for one final, ecstatic, incredibly graphic, super-queer, beautiful, smashed-together sex scene, culminating in body-swapping leading to a giant pile of naked sweaty bodies fucking spliced with flashbacks from the whole series. It was an honor to witness this orgy, I still can’t believe it happened at all.

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2018: Orange is the New Black, “Be Free“

Consider for a moment that getting “prison married” is likely one of gay marriage’s earliest historical incarnations and you’ll understand the importance of this toxic union between Piper Chapman and Alex Vause. Conducted by Nicky in a DIY kippah and tallit the day before Piper’s unexpected sudden release, this hasty little occasion was full of heart and a (surprisingly unusual) example of chosen family upholding and creating their own traditions with the tools they have to do so. Its lack of legality would dog Piper throughout her post-release season as her loved ones question her loyalty and dedication to Alex.

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2019: Gentleman Jack, “Are You Still Talking?”

“Anne Lister’s wedding to Ann Walker is generally considered to be the first gay wedding in Great Britain. In fact, in 2018, a blue plaque — indicating it as a place of historical significance in the UK — was placed at Holy Trinity church in Goodramgate, York, where Lister and Walker married in 1834. It was the city’s first LGBTQ history plaque, and it’s rimmed with a rainbow. Gentleman Jack depicted Anne and Ann’s wedding beautifully, at the end of the first season. They took communion together and exchanged rings, quietly, in their own pew, promising love and fidelity for the rest of their lives. Their union granted Anne Lister’s her greatest wish, and it was as swoony as she — and we — had imagined it would be.” -Heather Hogan

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2020: The Chi, “Foe ‘Nem”

Dre and Nina’s wedding in The Chi‘s third season premiere did something more TV lesbian weddings really ought to do, which is follow up the ceremony with very hot wedding night strap-on sex. “We never, and I do mean literally never, get to see black queer sex scenes like that on television,” said Carmen of the scene. “I joke a lot about how great Lena Waithe’s sex scenes are, but more than that — they are important. It takes a stand that we’re here, too.”

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2021: Wynona Earp, “Old Souls“

“One of the best things about Wynonna Earp‘s queer characters is that, while Nicole was seemingly introduced to be Waverly’s love interest, and Waverly’s love interest she was, over the course of the show’s four-but-should-have-been-more seasons, Nicole became inextricably intertwined with more characters than just Waverly, more plotlines than just their relationship. To the point that, if Waverly and Nicole had broken up, neither of them would have been able to disappear into the parking lot of no return. But luckily, they did not break up, and instead got engaged and spent the series finale planning, saving, and executing the big day. It was Wynonna’s show, but Waverly was Wynonna’s world, and Nicole was Wynonna’s best friend, so it didn’t feel out of place for this big, beautiful gay wedding to be the centerpiece of the last episode. They were surrounded by family, of both the natal and chosen variety, with fellow queer people, and with empty chairs symbolizing those who couldn’t be with them. It was a beautiful conclusion to their journey.” – Valerie Anne

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2021: Legends of Tomorrow, “The Fungus Amongus“

“Legends of Tomorrow did something with Sara and Ava’s relationship that happens too rarely on television (partially because TV shows with queer leads don’t tend to run as long these days…) It took these two already-out, adult queer characters and introduced them as perfect strangers, then slowly, over the course of many seasons, followed them through meeting, butting heads, making up, flirting, courting, dating, fighting, moving in together, getting married, and eventually planning to have a baby together. (A baby made up of their joint DNA because aliens.) Ava went from enemy of the week to co-captain, and that really got solidified in Season 6. The entire emotional undercurrent of that season was about Sara and Ava’s relationship; Sara was going to propose to Ava but got interrupted by an alien abduction, and they spent the rest of the season fighting to get back to each other so they could get married. On TV all kinds of couples get engaged then married two episodes later, so it felt unique for many reasons, including the long buildup and eventual wedding. It was a celebration of their queer love for each other, and they were surrounded by their found family, and it was a beautiful, genuine moment. One of the best in the long run of the show. And honestly, after how Season 7 ended up going, probably should have been their series finale.” – Valerie Anne

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2022: The L Word: Generation Q, “Looking Ahead“

Prior to Bette and Tina’s big day, The L Word franchise had racked up a bevy of unrealized engagements: Tanya and Dana’s “first corporate-sponsored lesbian wedding” was canceled when the brides both fell for other women, Shane left Carmen at the altar in Canada, and Finley interrupted Sophie and Dani’s wedding to declare her love for Sophie.

But then along came the Season Three finale of The L Word: Generation Q. (For which the recap will be finished posted later today!) After years of on-and-off dating and one marriage and divorce already behind them, one of television’s more storied lesbian couples promised to spend the rest of their lives together, in front of a lot of their friends, their daughter Angie and, of course, Ilene Chaiken.

Christmas at the Coterie: “Good Trouble” Celebrates the Holigays with Stef and Lena

Earlier this month, under pressure from an anti-LGBT hate group, the Hallmark Channel pulled ads for Zola, a wedding-planning website, that featured two brides kissing at the altar. The ads were controversial, a network spokesman lamented, and distracted from the very hard work of telling bland, predictable love stories of white cis straight couples, set against a backdrop of Christmas trees, tinsel and mistletoe.

“All kisses, couples and marriages are equal celebrations of love and we will no longer be advertising on Hallmark,” Mike Chi, the chief marketing officer of Zola, said, before pulling the company’s remaining ads from the network. A backlash ensued and, less than a month after claiming they’d be open to making LGBT characters central to their storytelling, Hallmark was facing a boycott from LGBT advocates.

Of course, Hallmark eventually relented: reinstating the ads from Zola, apologizing for “the hurt and disappointment this has caused” and pledging to work with GLAAD to better represent the LGBT community. But while timing and public pressure, no doubt, had an impact on the network’s decision to change course, the move is also reflective of a changing landscape. Hallmark’s strangehold on the “holiday movie rom-com” market is loosening; the network’s facing increased competition from Lifetime, OWN, BET, Netflix and now, Freeform.

So while the return of Stef and Lena Adams Foster to our TV screens was always going to be a cause for celebration around here, their presence — and the presence of six (!!) other LGBT characters — on Good Trouble‘s two hour holiday special seemed particularly poignant in the wake of Hallmark’s bigotry. Recent events remind us that representation still matters: seeing Stef and Lena model marriage and motherhood, as a longstanding lesbian couple whose “love will survive the ages,” matters. Affirmation of who we are — like Gael’s father finally seeing and embracing his daughter, Jazmin — and who we love, matter. It matters and when that representation happens in spaces, like holiday television, where we’re still unwelcome… that’s worth celebrating.

Stef and Lena stumble into town — late, naturally — to meet their kids for Christmas. Mariana’s working feverishly to prepare for the Coterie’s booth at a local Christmas festival that benefits homeless families and families that have been impacted by mass incarceration. Jude’s helping, too, between recycling quotes he’s picked up in his undergraduate ethics course. Meanwhile, Callie’s just frantic: worried that they’ll be late for dinner with her boyfriend’s parents and that she won’t have time to tell them about quitting her clerkship. Stef and Lena — affectionately dubbed “stoner moms” after their previous Coterie visit — arrive at the Coterie and barely have time to stow their luggage before being ushered out the door.

Tension from the wedding in Turks and Caicos still lingers between the two families — the more liberal Adams Fosters and the more conservative Hunters — and Lena can barely get in the door before Jim’s pestering her about her plans now that she’s a newly elected member of the California State Assembly. What’s up first, he asks, free college and healthcare, open borders or eliminating ICE? Knowing what a potential minefield it is, everyone tries to steer the conversation away from politics: first Jamie, then Diane, and finally Eliza, with news that she’s secured a coveted chair in an Amsterdam Orchestra. But before the mood can get too celebratory, Brandon confesses that he’s not planning to join his wife in the Netherlands, much to Jim and Diane’s dismay.

But what would really dismay the Hunters, if they knew, is that not one, not two, but all three of their children have fallen for Adam Foster kids: Eliza’s happily married to Brandon, Jamie’s so smitten with Callie he’s ready to put a ring on it and, behind closed doors, their closeted son, Carter is hooking up with Jude. The Hunters barely mask their disdain: Diane criticizes Brandon for not sacrificing his career to support his wife, like his mother’s doing. Lena interjects that while Stef’s agreed to join her in Sacramento, during the legislative session, she’d understand if she wanted to do something else. After dessert, Diane recalls a run-in with Jamie’s ex-girlfriend and passive aggressively suggests that she’d be a better match for Jamie than Callie. It’s enough to finally put an end to the world’s most awkward dinner party and everyone retreats back to their corners.

The mamas return to the Coterie and settle into Callie and Mariana’s loft for the night. They rehash the night’s events and Lena asks if she’s asking too much, expecting Stef to travel back and forth with her to Sacramento. Stef assures her wife she’s not; they’re not 20 year olds just starting their careers like Brandon and Eliza. Lena just wants Stef to be happy and Stef says she’s happiest when they’re together. They kiss, beneath some stolen mistletoe, and christen the holiday in Callie’s bed. The next day, though, Lena discovers that Stef gave up on chasing her dream to allow her to chase hers. Stef’s been accepted into an Amnesty International program in Venezuela. In a quiet moment later, Lena encourages her wife to follow her dreams.

Lena: If you want to go to Venezuela, you have my blessing… I want you to have your new chapter too.
Stef: It’s for a year; you know, it’s for a year.
Lena: Our love will survive the ages.

I do not like the idea of the mamas being apart… or the prospect that Stef won’t turn up when Good Trouble returns for its second season… but also? This feels true to who Lena and Stef are. Safe travels to the mamas!

Meanwhile, Jazmin and Gael spend their first Nochebuena together, estranged from their family. It’s Gael’s first holiday without them — he refused to join his family if Jazmin wasn’t allowed to — and he clings fiercely to all his family’s holiday traditions: tamales, coquito, lechón, ceviche and flan. Jazmin reminds Gael that he’s not alone and that they’re allowed to create their own traditions. He leaves Jazmin with Alice and Joey to make the coquito when she notices his phone ringing: it’s their mom. She delivers the phone to her brother and urges him to go be with their family since, even despite his bisexuality, he’s still wanted. Hailie Sahar, who I desperately wish was a regular on Good Trouble, conveys all of Jazmin’s hurt at being forced to spend the last three Nochebuenas alone. But their mother’s phone calls are less about reuniting the family and more about sharing some sad news: their grandfather had a stroke.

Jazmin urges Gael to go to the hospital but he insists that she go too — after her quince, he knows their grandfather would want her there — and she does. Jazmin tentatively steps into her abuelo’s hospital room, promising to leave if she’s not welcome. Her mother embraces her and leads Jazmin to her grandfather’s bedside. Her father, though, holds on to his anger, leaving the room as Jazmin announces her presence to her abuelo.

Later, Gael chastises his father for leaving but he insists that Gael shouldn’t have brought Jazmin. The doctor interrupts to confirm the stroke diagnosis but warns that they won’t know the severity of the stroke until their grandfather wakes up. The family splits on the subject of abuelo’s DNR, with Gael and his mother arguing against it and Jazmin siding with her father. He admits that he’s not ready to lose his father like he lost his son.

“I was never Alejandro. I was just trying to be for you, and abuelo,” Jazmin admits to her father. “Maybe you could learn to love your daughter, Jazmin?”

After hours of waiting, Gael and Jazmin’s grandfather wakes up and the family rushes to be by his side. He draws his granddaughter’s hand to him and then uses his left hand to draw his son close. He brings them together over his heart and for what seems like the first time, Jazmin’s father really sees her. He recognizes what he’s been missing all these years — it’s a great bit of acting by Alex Fernandez — and grabs her hand, reuniting their family… a true Christmas miracle.

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Coterie Sundries

+ It’s been nearly six months since Good Trouble‘s midseason finale and I can state one thing unequivocally: I’m still aboard the Davia-Dennis ship. I loved the progression of their visit to Dennis’ old house… from innocent to fun to emotional to hilarious. A show that makes me care about straight ships… what is the world coming to?

+ A facet of every holiday movie, ever? An existential threat, like a big chain coming to takeover the small-town store or a Christmas tree farm being bought by developers. For Good Trouble, the existential threat is a lease that’s nearly up and threatens to make this Coterie Christmas the last. I wish the show devoted more time to this story — in a Christmas movie, this would’ve been the main story — but, as is her wont, Sherry Cola makes great use out of minimal screentime. I loved Alice’s scramble to save the Coterie, particularly when she drafts Stef into her hilarity.

+ Because no holiday programming would be complete without a proposal: guess who’s getting married?

Thank goodness, it wasn’t Callie and Jamie.

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If you missed Good Trouble‘s holiday special, it’s now available for streaming on Freeform and Hulu. The second season of Good Trouble returns to Freeform on January 15th at a new time, 10PM.

16 of the Best Lesbian and Bisexual Dance Scenes in TV History

Last week, we were treated to Derry Girls‘ prom episode and an AvaLance tango on Legends of Tomorrow, which set my mind twirling and whirling around some of my favorite lesbian and bisexual dance scenes. Women dancing together is actually a thing that’s still not too common on TV. Weirdly, we’re more likely to see actual sex. Maybe because dancing is so gendered it freaks people out even more than scissoring? Maybe it’s too intimate? Who’s to say! Either way, with the help of the TV Team, I’ve compiled 16 of the best queer dance scenes ever. Get ready to get some feelings, and, as always, we’d love to hear your faves in the comments.

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Arthie and Yolanda, GLOW (208 “The Good Twin”)

A dream to build a life on.

Willow and Tara, Buffy (506 “Family”)

When love makes you literally levitate.

Stef and Lena, The Fosters (405 “Forty”)

There are so many great Stef and Lena swaying scenes to choose from, but their unapologetically sexy dancing at Lena’s major milestone birthday party is my personal favorite.

Paige and Emily, Pretty Little Liars (411 “Bring Down the Hoe”)

Emily didn’t want to end up with the mushy squash. 😭 (Runner up.)

Carmen and Shane, The L Word (302 “Lost Weekend”)

Raise your hand if this scene made you gay.

Brittany and Santana, Glee (313 “Heart”)

Cherish/Cherish

The Alvarez Family, One Day at a Time (113 “Quinces”)

In a show filled with moments that’ll make a person cry a bucketful of gay tears, Elena’s thwarted father/daughter dance that turned into a family celebration at her quinceañera stands alone.

Callie and Arizona, Grey’s Anatomy (720 “White Wedding”)

Callie and Arizona’s wedding wasn’t their happily ever after, but it sure was a watershed moment on television.

Maggie and Alex, Supergirl (213 “Mr. & Mrs. Mxyzptlk”)

On Valentine’s Day we dance with the girls we wanna dance with.

Eve and Annalise, How to Get Away With Murder (304 “Don’t Tell Annalise”)

A rare moment of carefree happiness for Annalise Keating, in a bleak world, with the only woman who ever saw straight through her. (I still haven’t given up hope on them and you can’t make me!)

Sara and Ava, Legends of Tomorrow (409 “Legends of To-Meow-Meow”)

The level of love and physical fitness on display here!

She-Ra and Catra, She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (108 “Princess Prom”)

“Prom Princess” is the episode it becomes very apparent that She-Ra‘s queerness isn’t accidental.

Tina and Bette, The L Word (607 “Last Couple Standing”)

The best part of this beloved Tibette dance scene…

Alice, Tasha and Jamie, The L Word (607 “Last Couple Standing”)

… is the clenched jaw scowl on Bette’s face out in the audience when she realizes they’ve been out-danced by Alice and Tasha and Jamie and Salt-n-Pepa.

Quinn and Santana, Glee (414 “I Do”)

Two ends of the same bitch-goddess spectrum, colliding at last.

Everyone, Pose (Season One)

If this scene from the Pose pilot doesn’t convince you to watch all the dancing on the show, don’t talk to me ever again.

How Not to Throw a Birthday Party, According to Lesbian TV’s Worst Parties

I’m not much of a partygoer due to extreme introversion, but writing and reading and editing our Birthday Issue — and watching Russian Doll twice in a row — has made me think about birthday parties a lot lately. Specifically: what makes a good birthday party and what makes a bad birthday party? And so I turned to my favorite source of information and inspiration, lesbian and bisexual television, to cobble together some tips for myself for the next birthday party I throw. Below is a list of TV shows and the lessons they taught me; hopefully they’ll help you too.

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Jane the Virgin

Location, location, location.

Location is everything! Find a place that’s fun, accessible, affordable, and safe! If, for example, your family owns a hotel where your sister-in-law’s lover was tossed from a window and impaled on an ice sculpture, or your father was buried alive in concrete, or your brother’s son’s mother’s husband was shot dead, think of having your party in an entirely different and less definitely haunted place — even if said murder palace has also been home to some real good times for you personally.

Hashtag You on Netflix/Lifetime

Refine your guest list.

If you think your friend might be hooking up with a stalker who kidnapped her ex-boyfriend and locked him in a cage in his basement and murdered him, maybe say something about that before he comes into your home and steals your family heirlooms and maps out the various entrances and exits so that he can later also murder you. Additionally, if you’re only letting the potential stalker come because you don’t want your best friend to know that you’re kinda also stalking her, you should maybe work that part out in therapy before the party.

The Bold Type

Work your shit out with your partner before the party.

If you’re going to be at a party, especially a very public party, especially-especially one that requires you to canoodle with your partner on, say, a red carpet, make sure the air is clear between the two of you and one of you is not holding onto resentment that you won’t go down on them and the other of you is holding onto shame that is keeping you from going down on them, on account of one of you just might explode in front of your friends and your boss and some cameras. Communication is key! Before you arrive!

The L Word

Celebrate the party’s honored guest.

Much like TV characters should not be blank slates for a showrunner to reboot each season based on their whims, parties should not be about the host’s desires, but about the main guest’s desires. For example, if your trans guy friend gets inexplicably pregnant despite science and precautions — similar to the confounding science of your lesbian friend dying in three days of rapid-fire breast cancer — and then his partner leaves him in the middle of the night, perhaps you should not force him to come to a Willy Wonka-themed baby shower the next day and sit around listening to smug lesbian moms lecture him on, say, breast pumps. There’s a song in Willy Wonka about this exact thing, and it’s not “Pure Imagination.” It goes like this: “There’s no earthly way of knowing / Which direction we are going / There’s no knowing where we’re rowing / Or which way the river’s flowing / Not a speck of light is showing / So the danger must be growing / And the fires of Hell a-glowing.” Don’t be the grisly reaper mowing, man.

The Fosters

Give your girlfriend a heads up if your ex will be there.

If your wife suggests having a dinner party to get to know your new neighbors, it’s probably a good idea to let her know if that neighbor happened to be a “friend” you did a lot of gay things with in high school, while calling it “just friends.” Staying up all night cuddling, professing your undying love, planning your life around them, etc. Just a casual mention, just a tiny little heads up. Lesbians are all friends with their exes, but it’s nice to be able to mentally prepare to meet them, especially if they now share a yard with you.

Defiance

Choose your menu wisely.

You have to be real about who’s capable of bringing what to your party for snacking purposes. Some friends are Great British Bake Off-caliber bakers and some friends just want to stop by the wine store on the way and pick up enough booze for half your guests. Also, some friends might have a murderous vendetta against you because of how you ratted them out to their husbands about the lesbian affair they were having, and in that case, they might not bring cake or alcohol, but literal poison. Just play to everyone’s culinary strengths, know your nemeses, and make sure all your guests are familiar with poison-free alternatives to food with poison in them.

Adventure Time

Don’t let your queer friends’ family get them down.

Look, we all know that sometimes queer people have complicated relationships with their family and those complicated relationships can ruin their big days. If, for one example, your queer friend transformed her family into Candy People and they were forced to live in the bodies of peppermints, gum balls, and chocolate covered bananas for centuries, they might have an axe they choose to grind in a very public way. Try to keep your party details confidential from your friend’s family, and, at the very least, make sure her shape-shifting vampire ex-girlfriend is there to do emotional and physical damage control.

Glee

Be prepared for drama.

Parties bring out the drama in people. Honestly assess going into a party — whether you’re hosting it or just attending it — how likely drama is to occur and be prepared. Let’s say you’re going to the wedding of a former teacher whose complete lack of boundaries and maturity once saw him singing a song about date rape in the hallway while gyrating all over your classmates. You know those vows aren’t going off with a hitch. Bring a friend, and open mind, and proper identification to make use of the open bar.

Skins

Know your limits.

Partaking of alcohol or other recreational substances is a thing some people enjoy at parties — but you have to know your limits, and your audience! If you’re a closeted queer in a situationship with another closeted queer, you might want to keep your consumption to a level that doesn’t lower your inhibitions to the point of public make outs in bouncy castles. (Or, be real with yourself that you’re lowering your inhibitions on purpose so you don’t end up saying some heterosexual wankshite to your make out buddy after you’re sober.) Additionally, don’t overindulge to the point that you and your best friend both have sex with the same person and get furious at each other about it.

Pretty Little Liars

Know when to call it a night.

If all your friends have fallen asleep after a rousing night of discussing what amount of liking Beyoncé is a gay amount of liking Beyoncé, you should also consider turning in. Chances are you’re tired and not thinking straight and maybe/probably have had a little bit to drink. Just hunker on down and get some rest. If not, you might find yourself getting smashed in the head with a shovel by one of the fifty people wandering around your backyard with shovels in the middle of the night, and then buried alive by your own mother, and then pulled from your grave by a sorority witch, and then picked up on the side of the road by your arch-rival, and then taken to a seedy motel for a makeover — and by sunrise you’re flying your airplane off into the sky, resurrected, no place to go, with only a hundred masks of your own face to your name. 🎈

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“Good Trouble” Is a Worthy (and Gay) Successor to “The Fosters”

It takes about 40 minutes for Freeform’s The Fosters spin-off, Good Trouble, to click for me.

It’s Callie’s second day at work as a clerk for a federal judge when a high profile case, the LAPD shooting of Jamal Thompson, falls onto the docket. It’s everything Callie had come to Los Angeles for: an opportunity to persuade her conservative judge of a more progressive vision. She’s forced to compete for the plum assignment — writing dueling bench memos (the legal equivalent of trial cliff notes) with the two Ivy League educated clerks in the office — and is about to put pen to paper when her phone rings.

It’s Mariana.

The tension between the sisters is as thick as its ever been. The night before, they’d tossed insults at each other and seemed ready to start lives in Los Angeles without the other — but Callie picks up the phone anyway. And despite having a memo due at 5PM for the biggest case of her short career, when Callie hears Mariana’s muffled cries, she goes running.

The sisters regroup atop Mariana’s office building and recount the reality of their time in LA thus far, not the shiny version they’ve been telling each other, as if saying it aloud will somehow make it true. Mariana admits that her job is terrible: she’s surrounded by “bro-holes” at an LA tech start-up, who doubt her abilities because she’s one of a handful of women in the space. Her one attempt to assert herself in the workplace — ambushing the company’s CEO in the elevator and asking for a pitch meeting — earned her a swift, forceful and public reprimand from Human Resources. Callie’s job isn’t much better: she was humiliated by her judge on her first day and is unsure whether her fellow clerks are trying to support or sabotage her.

“So both our jobs suck but we can’t quit. We are Adams-Fosters,” Callie proclaims. “We don’t give up. We don’t give in. We fight.”

And it’s exactly at that moment, that Good Trouble starts to work for me (coincidentally, it’s when LA really starts to work for Callie and Mariana too). I literally rewound the entire episode and started the show again.

Unknowingly, I spent the first 40 minutes of Good Trouble mourning what we’d lost seven months ago when The Fosters ended. That’s not a reflection of this show — Good Trouble is a very good show — but, instead, an acknowledgement of how deeply connected I felt to watching Stef and Lena for five seasons. Representation is powerful not just because you see yourself but because it allows you space to image new possibilities: as a queer woman, as a partner and as a parent. And Stef and Lena helped me, and a lot of queer women, envision a new future for themselves. I didn’t know how to embrace stepping into the Fosters-verse without Stef and Lena there.

But, the moment Callie leaves her office to go comfort Mariana in a bathroom stall, things just fall into place. Beyond the familiar faces of Maia Mitchell and Cierra Ramirez, I recognize pieces of The Fosters — this thing I cherished — in Good Trouble. I start to see Good Trouble for what it is: an opportunity to build on the legacy of The Fosters. Stef and Lena might not be there all the time — though the mamas do show up in the fifth episode for best and funniest episode thus far — but Mariana and Callie carry so much of the mamas’ spirit with them that Good Trouble feels like a worthy successor.

Callie and Mariana’s new chosen family comes together at the Coterie, a communal living space in downtown LA where the sisters share a living space, kitchen and a bathroom with the building’s other residents. We’re introduced to Alice, the building’s manager, and then cross paths with Coterie members, Malika, Gael, Dennis and Davia. Good Trouble does a great job in making these characters more than just props for Mariana and Callie to interact with but molds them into interesting characters who you’ll find yourself caring about, independent of the sisters. They’re given a lot of depth in a short amount of time — from Malika’s revelation that she was once a foster kid to Gael’s unwitting revelation that he’s bisexual — and I’m intrigued to see where things go.

Of course, I’m particularly excited about Alice: the semi-closeted lesbian who acts as the house mother at the Coterie. A lesser show might restrict Alice to being the comedic relief, especially since Sherry Cola is so, so good at it, but Good Trouble adds a new layer to her with each episode. While there’s been a steady increase in the number of Asian LGBT characters on television — according to GLAAD, “the percentage of API LGBTQ regular and recurring characters on broadcast has doubled to eight percent from only four percent in the previous year” — Alice represents an opportunity to broaden the types of stories being told. In “DTLA,” we saw an Alice burdened by the expectations of her parents, a common refrain among the children of Asian immigrant parents; I’m looking forward to seeing how Alice grapples with those expectations while building her own life and career at the Coterie.

There is, admittedly, some nervousness about Good Trouble falling into the same trap as The Fosters: endeavoring to tell more stories than the show has time to tell well which led to characters, storylines and the audience being shortchanged. It was clear that the writers had a lot of great stories to tell — many from communities whose stories often go unheard — and that’s laudable; but maybe let’s not try to shoehorn all those stories in at once. Through the show’s first five episodes, Good Trouble avoids that trap, keeping the show’s narrative focused and balanced, even while introducing all these new characters at the Coterie and at Mariana and Callie’s respective workplaces. I’m hopeful that it will stay that way.

Good Trouble isn’t The Fosters. It’s shiny and new and tells its stories in a non-linear fashion that takes a bit of getting used to, but so much of what made The Fosters great — family! diversity! social justice! — is embedded in Good Trouble‘s DNA that it feels just as resonant.
Good Trouble is worth your time, if only so you can understand everything that leads up to the mamas visiting the Coterie and getting stoned in the process in episode five.

EXCLUSIVE: Meet the New Gay in “The Fosters” Spin-Off, “Good Trouble”

One of my all-time favorite moments on The Fosters is when Lena tells Mariana, “DNA doesn’t make a family, love does.” At its root, The Fosters was a show about our chosen family — albeit bound together legally through adoption — and its spin-off, Good Trouble, which debuts next week on Freeform, is ultimately about the same thing. Good Trouble picks up where The Fosters left off: with Mariana (Cierra Ramirez) and Callie (Maia Mitchell) headed north, from their sleepy San Diego suburb to the bright lights of Los Angeles, to start their new jobs. Mariana’s fresh out of MIT and excited to start work at a tech startup, while Callie’s balancing her competitive clerkship with a conservative judge and preparations to take the bar exam. They find their home and what may become their chosen family at the Coterie, a communal living space in downtown LA.

The Coterie overflows with compelling personalities, most notably, Alice Kwan (Sherry Cola), the manager of the building and de facto house mother. Rather than having me tell you about it, why not get the scoop on Alice from the actress herself — whom you might remember from her short stint on Claws last summer — thanks to an exclusive clip from our friends at Freeform:

According to GLAAD’s most recent “Where We Are on TV” report, Asian/Pacific Islanders make up 8.5% of the LGBTQ regular and recurring characters on network, cable and streaming television. Though there’s still work to do when it comes to API representation, the numbers reflect the highest levels of representation since GLAAD started tracking the data. What’s particularly exciting about LGBTQ API representation is the different types of stories we’re seeing: from Grace Choi on Black Lightning and Nico Minoru on Marvel’s Runaways to Adena El-Amin on The Bold Type to Leila on The Bisexual. I’m excited to see how Alice adds to the diverse stories we’ve been seeing.

Excited to learn more about Alice? Or seeing what Callie and Mariana are up to? Tune in to the debut of Good Trouble on Freeform on January 8 or visit Hulu or Freeform.com now to get an early look at the first episode.

The 16 Best Lesbian and Bisexual TV Couples of 2018

When Riese wrote about GLAAD’s Where We Are on TV report this year, she mentioned that she created and has been maintaining a comprehensive database of LGBTQ TV characters, so she wasn’t too surprised to read that GLAAD’s findings were mostly positive, and that they now have stats to back-up something we’ve been saying forever: “showrunners are listening to GLAAD, they’re listening to fans, and they’re increasingly aware of how specifically passionate queer women are about our stories.”

That’s more obvious on this list — and what’s not included in on this list — than maybe any of the other year-end lists we’re compiling this year. In the intro for the best lesbian and bisexual movies of 2018, I noted how weird it was to be able to create a queer women’s pop culture list and leave things off of it — because, finally, we had enough good content to set some parameters for inclusion. Well, here I am making a list of best lesbian and bisexual TV couples of 2018 and the same thing is true! There’ve definitely been enough queer women pairings to fill out lists like these the last few years, but it would have been unheard of until very recently to leave off any two women whose mouths had touched each others’. But here I am, doing just that! I counted 60 TV shows that featured women smooching this year. 16 shows made this list.

Even more interestingly/awesomely, there are at least a dozen fan favorite lesbian and bisexual TV characters this year who aren’t on this particular list because they had excellent queer storylines that didn’t include being in a relationship. (Don’t worry, our annual list of Best/Worst TV characters is coming next week!)

The couples on this list had to include: a non-guest queer character who had noticeable character development; sex/affection/screentime that was equivalent to the sex/affection/screentime given to straight characters of the same status (main character, recurring character, etc.); and the majority of our TV Team had to agree on their inclusion. And here they are!

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Jane and Petra, Jane the Virgin

Jane the Virgin fans had been reading Petra as bisexual for a few seasons, and while the show didn’t match her up with Jane Villanueva, they sure did give her a whole other Jane to fall for! Petra’s coming out storyline was so real and so sweet and so funny and so sexy and — best of all — it ended with her getting the girl (at least for a minute!).

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Nico and Karolina, Marvel’s Runaways

Nico and Karlina’s relationship is special because both characters have their own storylines, and their own relationships to their queerness, so they’re just as dynamic and fun to watch when they’re apart as they are together. Their relationship had been highly anticipated by fans of The Runaways comic books, so it was really rewarding to see the usually-gay-reluctant Marvel actually go there on-screen, and do it so well.

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Stef and Lena, The Fosters

Stef and Lena will go down in history as one of the all-time great lesbian relationships on TV. It was sad to say goodbye to them in their final season, but easily worth the tears for the five years of laughter and love and late-night swims and pancake breakfasts they gave us. In the end, they renewed their commitment to be home with each other, always, right where they belong.

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Syd and Elena, One Day at a Time

Elena’s season one coming out storyline was perfect and profound. And so was her first love storyline in season two. Syd, Elena’s nonbinary queer pal, went from being her activist buddy to her partner over the course of the season. They shared their first kiss together, their first school dance together, and their first Doctor/TARDIS cosplay together. A romance for the ages.

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Princess Bubblegum and Marceline, Adventure Time

After the slowest slow burn in the history of slow burns, Marceline and Princess Bubblegum finally kissed on-screen in the Adventure Time series finale (fittingly, as Ooo was literally burning to the ground around them). Marceline stopped hinting that her affection for Bonnibel had never gone away and said it right out loud. Did they live happily ever after? Well, time is an illusion. But they did live, and together!

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Sara and Ava, Legends of Tomorrow

We loved Sara with Nyssa. And it was always fun to watch Sara romp through time and make good girls go gay. But watching the strength and vulnerability it took for her to fall in love with Ava and fight for their relationship peeled back even more layers of her character. They make each other so happy, and that makes us happy. These two have suffered enough! Let them live and love!

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Kate and Emaline, Everything Sucks

Riese and I were both kind of stunned by how much we loved Everything Sucks and how bummed we were that Netflix cancelled it. Kate’s storyline spoke to both of our gay-but-unaware ’90s teen lesbian souls, in large part because Kate’s relationship with Emaline just felt so real. Lots of people agreed with us. Lots and lots and lots of people. In a shocker, these two won our March Madness Best Kiss competition! You’ll always be our little Wonderwall, Kate Messner.

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Emma and Cruz, Vida

When Autostraddle Associate Editor Carmen Phillips recapped the season finale of Vida, she wrote, “Over the course of Vida’s first season, there have been quite a few moments where I had to pause the television slack jawed in disbelief and mutter to myself, ‘I can’t believe I’m lucky enough to see this on TV.'” And about their beautiful, blossoming relationship: “Listen, Emma never falls asleep at a hook up’s house. But with Cruz everything is safe, you know? It’s warm and gentle and soft. Emma’s built her whole world into sharp edges. Cruz brings out parts that she long thought she buried. And despite herself, she craves it.” And so did we!

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Mel and Niko, Charmed

The news that trickled in about the CW’s Charmed reboot over the course of this year surprised us in so many ways. That the main characters would all be Latinx, that one of them was going to be an out-and-proud lesbian, that she would have a girlfriend from the get-go. None of those facts prepared me for the biggest surprise of all: that I was going to fall in love with Mel and then Mel and Niko immediately, and that it was going to break my heart when Mel had to save her girlfriend by setting her free.

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Ruby and Sapphire, Steven Universe

Ruby and Sapphire have not stopped breaking ground since they showed up, individually, on our teeves. This year, they just went right on ahead and got married and kissed right on their cartoon mouths on primetime TV on Cartoon Network. Plus: masc Gems in dresses, femme Gems in tuxes, throwbacks to Ruby and Sapphire’s other most romantic moments. There were an awful lot of awful things we could have be thinking of, but for just one day we only thought about love.

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Waverly and Nicole, Wynonna Earp

We go now to our official WayHaught correspondent, Autostraddle Staff Writer Valerie Anne: In their third season together, Waverly and Nicole are a fully established couple with their own separate relationships with each of the other characters, their own roles in this wacky shitshow, the new Sheriff and a literal angel. We got to see a little more of a domestic side to them this year, having Big Gay Dinners and Nicole meeting Mama Earp, but they still had their fun (see: the Christmas episode) and there was never a moment of doubt that they’re head over heels in love. Plus, they may or may not have gotten engaged before Waverly got sucked into the Garden of Eden/Evil and Nicole went missing.

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Kat and Adena, The Bold Type

Kat and Adena went all this season, and while it didn’t end happily ever after, it was an excellent growing experience for Kat’s character — as a person who’d never been in a serious relationship and as a newly out queer lady. Plus theirs continued to be the most resonant relationship on the whole show.

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Grace and Anissa, Black Lightning

It’s wild to think that all of the first season of Black Lightning and half of the second season happened in 2018! And it’s a good thing, too, because if it’d just been season one, these two superheroes would never have made our list. Grace disappeared! Luckily, in season two, she returned to our screens and to Anissa’s loving arms. Their story is groundbreaking in so many ways, and so tender and so angsty and so sexy. We can’t get enough.

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Toni and Cheryl, Riverdale

Cheryl is another character who got a girlfriend because fans were reading her as queer and the actress who plays her (Madelaine Petsch) pushed for it. I believed in Toni and Cheryl from the second their paths crossed before that inexplicable drag race in season two. And look at them now! Toni broke Cheryl out of conversion therapy! Cheryl joined the Serpents! Just two Slytherin babes from opposite sides of the tracks, constantly saving each other from getting axe-murdered.

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Violet and Amelia, Harlots

Violet Cross and Amelia Scanwell’s love story is so star-crossed it makes my heart hurt just thinking about it — but it’s so wonderful, too. On paper, they have nothing in common, and their connection happened so slowly and subtly in season one it was hard to tell if it was really a thing or if I was just Seeing Gay People (again). But it did happen! And in season two, they got to explore their fraught connection further. If you haven’t read Riese’s review of season two, do that now, and I will quote it anyway: “Basically, what I’m telling you is that stories about sex workers are not niche, they are transcendent and universal, and often the truest and most enduring stories about Western Civilization ever told.”

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Yolanda and Arthie, G.L.O.W.

We were all so annoyed that the first season of G.L.O.W. was so dang gay without being gay. In season two, though, we got the real deal with Yolanda and Arthie. Yolanda knew she was gay and said it right away, and over and over until everyone was forced to get comfortable with it. Arthie didn’t have any queer feelings at all, until she shocked herself when she started feeling things for Yolanda. They wrestled each other, danced around their feelings, and finally kissed (on national TV!).

18 2018 LGBTQ Women of Color TV Characters Crushing It

This post was written by Carmen, Natalie, and Kayla. 

2018!! I don’t know if you’ve felt it yet, but we certainly have. This is the year where lesbian, bisexual, queer, and trans women of color are taking over your television screens. Not just in terms of volume (though it does feel like more of us are getting our time on screen), but in terms of quality and depth and agency.

With cable shows like Vida and Pose burning up the summer with lesbian, queer, and trans women of color protagonists, along winter favs like Black Lightning’s black lesbian superhero Anissa Pierce and One Day at a Time’s always perfect Latina lesbian teenager Elena Alvarez keeping us warm through the cold months – it’s time we stand up and pay attention.

Carmen, Natalie, and Kayla have been talking about this trend a lot recently. So, when Heather suggested we put together a list of our favorite queer and trans women of color crushing 2018, we jumped at the chance!

Hope you enjoy!

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Eddy Martínez, Vida

Written by Natalie

Where to watch: STARZ, STARZ Add-on on Hulu or Amazon Prime
Episode(s) where they crushed it: 102, “Episode 2“; 103, “Episode 3”

It may be hard to imagine, between how season one of Vida begins for Eddy — with the death of her wife — and how it ends — with her laid, battered and bruised, in a hospital bed — that she would be among the list of characters crushing it in 2018. But, what lies between how it began and how it ended is evidence of a love so deeply felt that even death could not diminish it. Eddy devotes her entire self to ensuring that the dreams she once had with Vida all come true: she is remodeling their bar, reuniting their family and, slowly, making things right with Emma.

A love more powerful than death? Yeah, Eddy is definitely crushing it.

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Blanca Evangelista, Pose

Written by Carmen

Where to watch: FX, Amazon Prime, iTunes
Episode(s) where they crushed it: 101, “Pilot”; 106, “Love is the Message“

First thing: If you are not yet watching F/X’s Pose then you absolutely should be. It’s produced by Janet Mock (and Ryan Murphy), it has trans women (Janet Mock and Our Lady J) in the writers room, it has trans women directing episodes (Oh look! Janet, again!), and it boasts the largest cast of trans women ever on television. This is what we are talking about when we say that representation matters.

It’s more than just a number’s game. Blanca Evangelista is the kind of character I’ve been waiting my whole life for. She’s an Afro-Latina, Puerto Rican, and fighting like hell to keep her queer chosen family together and make a name for herself in this world. MJ Rodriguez is a breakout star and now that she has your attention, she’s damn sure running with it. I dare you to watch her and try and take your eyes away. You can’t. It’s impossible.

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Adena El-Amin, The Bold Type

Written by Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya

Where to watch: Freeform, Amazon Prime, iTunes
Episode(s) where they crushed it: 201, “Feminist Army”; 202, “Rose Colored Glasses”; 203, “The Scarlet Letter”

Adena has always been one of the most compelling characters on The Bold Type, even when the show sometimes struggles to figure out where to place her in an episode. She’s confident, talented, and not afraid to push back on others, even challenging her girlfriend’s parents a bit when they try to minimize the power of labels. She has always been proud of being a Muslim lesbian, and she’ll never stop telling people who she is. Her conversation with Kat at the beginning of season two is groundbreaking in its depiction of the complicated, intimate, sometimes uncomfortable conversations that two sexual partners should have in order to have more fulfilling sex lives and relationships. The fact that it happens between two femmes of color makes it all the more special.

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Jane Ramos, Jane The Virgin

Written by Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya

Where to watch: The CW, Netflix
Episode(s) where they crushed it: 412, “Chapter 76”; 414, “Chapter 78”; 415, “Chapter 79”; 416, “Chapter 80”

We all felt it. That small shift in the universe when Jane Ramos a.k.a. JR showed up in Petra Solano’s life. The chemistry was undeniable, Rosario Dawson oozing with a sensuality that somehow seemed explicitly queer right off the bat. JR may have made some mistakes—namely, succumbing to blackmail and losing her license to practice law in the process—but the way her attraction and feelings for Petra develop is so pure and tingly, full of the kind of bright but believable romance that this show does so dang well.

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Anissa Pierce, Black Lightning

Written by Natalie

Where to watch: The CW, Netflix
Episode(s) where they crushed it: 102, “LaWanda: The Book of Hope“; 105, “And Then the Devil Brought the Plague: The Book of Green Light”

So this feels a little literal, no? I mean, from the moment she grabs the rim of the porcelain sink in her bathroom, only to have it break off in her hands, Anissa Pierce is, quite literally, crushing it. She repeats this feat throughout the season, donning the Thunder suit, crushing the enemies of truth and justice, with enviable swagger. In a world that insists on reminding us of how vulnerable we are, here comes Thunder, a bulletproof black lesbian, to remind us the bounds of black girl magic may well be limitless.

That said, I wouldn’t mind if Black Lightning found more time in season two to let Anissa Pierce crush it outside her Thunder suit.

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Emma Hernandez, Vida

Written by Carmen

Where to watch: STARZ, STARZ Add-on on Hulu or Amazon Prime
Episode(s) where they crushed it: All of Them! But also, 103, “Episode 3”; 104, “Episode 4“

Emma Hernandez, Vida’s central protagonist had quite the arc in just six episodes. She was forced to move home to help deal with her mother’s death. Her mother, who ostracized Emma as a teenager because of her homosexuality, turned out to be gay herself and secretly married to a woman that Emma now must share her inheritance with. That’s… ummm… a lot of baggage. She also has to save her family from financial ruin, figure out how keep their business out of the hands of greedy developers, and – SURPRISE! – keep herself together when her old ex-girlfriend somehow becomes her very new love interest all over again. Somehow, Emma finds a way to balance all of those complexities with grit and power you can’t turn your eyes away from.

Also, she starred in the best, most raw queer women’s sex scene ever filmed for television. Ever. EVER. Yeah, I’d call that crushing it.

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Annalisa “Quiet Ann” Zayas, Claws

Written by Natalie

Where to watch: TNT, Amazon Prime, iTunes
Episode(s) where they crushed it: 204, “Scream”

The Dalai Lama once said, “don’t ever mistake my silence for ignorance, my calmness for acceptance or my kindness for weakness. Compassion and tolerance are not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength.” Few characters embody that as well as Quiet Ann Zayas. Slowly but surely, Claws continues to peel back the layers of Ann to reveal Ann, the young mother, forced to give up her child at 17, and Ann, the college-educated polyglot who was once married to a male professor, and Ann, the unapologetic dyke who gave up the love of her life to protect the family she’d chosen. Ann might not be saying much, but there’s strength in her silence and we’d all do well to pay attention.

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Angel Evangelista, Pose

Written by Natalie

Where to watch: FX, Amazon Prime, iTunes
Episode(s) where they crushed it: 103, “Giving and Receiving”; 106, “Love Is the Message”

Soon after Pose first premiered, Ryan Murphy sent out a since-deleted tweet bemoaning that, as Angel climbed into the car with a john, the audience seemed frightened for her. He wouldn’t do that to one of his characters, he assured us, seemingly ignoring that for years, depictions of sex featuring trans women on television — especially trans women who are sex workers — have been tied to danger. Pose, and especially Angel Evangelista, are rewriting everything we’ve been programmed to believe about trans women and sexuality, and it is glorious.

There is no greater example of Angel absolutely crushing it than in Pose‘s most recent episode, where she stands unapologetically in her truth, as she’s confronted by her ex-boyfriend’s wife. She is unbothered and unbossed and encourages us to be the same.

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Arthie Premkumar, Glow

Written by Kayla

Where to watch: Netflix
Episode(s) where they crushed it: 208, “The Good Twin”; 210, “Every Potato Has A Receipt”

Arthie and new girl on the GLOW squad Yolanda Rivas become roommates during season two and, well, crushing-on-a-roommate is a queer tale as old as time. Arthie is still in the very early stages of her coming out journey, but even their idiot director Sam can see the hearts in her eyes for Yolanda. They share a dreamy dance in one episode (and we all know how I feel about the concept of two women ballroom dancing together), and Arthie even shows up at the strip club to support her gal pal and appears to be having the time of her little baby queer life there. It’s still incredible rare to see South Asian queer women on television, and I’m beyond excited by the prospect of Arthie’s sexuality journey (Spoiler alert: They kiss in the season finale!) being explored more next season.

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Kat Edison, The Bold Type

Written by Carmen

Where to watch: Freeform, Amazon Prime, iTunes
Episode(s) where they crushed it: 201, “Feminist Army”; 205, “Stride of Pride”; 206, “The Domino Effect”

Do you know who has been really growing as a person lately? The Bold Type’s Kat Edison. She’s just been sprouting all over the place, like the new buds on a spring tree. She went down on a woman for the first time. She’s confronted her own internalized bias and blind spots about race. She’s introduced her girlfriend to her parents. She’s held her friends accountable about their privilege, even when that meant having the tough convos. I just feel so proud of her, you know? And sure, growth is not always pretty. It’s often downright messy, I think Kat is learning that the hard way right now. But hey, even at her messiest she’s making out with hot girls on the dance floor. There are worst places to be.

(I love #Kadena, ok! And I believe they will make it through this rough patch! Please don’t fight me!)

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Rosa Diaz, Brooklyn 99

Written by Carmen

Where to watch: FOX, Hulu
Episode(s) where they crushed it: 522, “Jake & Amy”

The legend of Rosa Diaz will be spoken of in hushed, reverent tones throughout queer women’s television folklore for years to come. First, Stephanie Beatriz came out as bisexual. Then, just 18 months later, so did the character she plays on TV. And if that wasn’t enough, somehow in 2018 Stephanie Beatriz threaded the needle just right so GINA FREAKING RODRIGUEZ could play her potential new love interest!! How did she work such bruja magic? Honestly, I don’t know and I don’t care. In the Brooklyn 99 season finale, Rodriguez’s character hopped out of that Lyft she was driving and into our hearts.

Anyone who can pull such a hottie deserves to be on this list. Four for you Rosa Diaz, you go Rosa Diaz.

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Hen Wilson, 9-1-1

Written by Natalie

Where to watch: Hulu, iTunes
Episode(s) where they crushed it: 108, “Karma’s a Bitch”; 109, “Trapped”

In her TV retrospective last year, Riese pointed out that only 16 of the 204 lesbian, bisexual and queer female characters, were masculine-of-center so adding a dapper butch like Hen Wilson to a diminishing MOC roster is a welcome treat (especially when she looks like Aisha Hinds).

On 9-1-1, Hen is allowed to do what straight women on primetime television have been allowed to do for years: crush it in their professional lives — Hen literally saves a homeless man from being crushed by a trash compactor in one episode — while being all kinds of messy in their personal lives. Thankfully, by the end of the season, Hen’s come to her senses and made her wife and son her priority.

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Kat Sandoval, Madam Secretary

Written by Carmen

Where to watch: CBS, Amazon Prime, iTunes
Episode(s) where they crushed it: 414, “Refuge”

Kat! Kat, Kat, Kat. She’s brilliant, passionate, and her swag can be seen from outer-fucking-space! I could write a thousand love letters to Sara Ramirez’s most recent television turn as policy advisor Kat Sandoval (and thankfully because of my job at Autostraddle, I have), but perhaps no moment on network television has thus far better exemplified a queer woman of color “crushing it” in 2018 than Kat coming out as bi and queer to her work colleague Jay:

“I [used to have] long hair. I wore dresses and heels. And, sometimes it felt like me? And sometimes it felt like a costume that I had to wear in order to survive – to gain access. Now I don’t have to fit in to play the game. Now I make my own rules. And number one is being my authentic self.”

CRUSHED IT.

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Yolanda Rivas, Glow

Written by Kayla

Where to watch: Netflix
Episode(s) where they crushed it: 202, “Candy Of The Year”; 208, “The Good Twin,” 210, “Every Potato Has A Receipt”

The most glaring issue with GLOW’s first season is its lack of lesbians. Season two adds out wrestler Yolanda, who, when Alison Brie’s Ruth asks her if she likes girls, matter-of-factly replies “I LOVE girls.” She’s super out and super confident, quickly becoming a part of the tight-knit GLOW sisterhood.

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Elena Alvarez, One Day At A Time

Written by Natalie

Where to watch: Netflix
Episode(s) where they crushed it: 113, “Quinces”; 208, “What Happened”

Television likes to tell certain stories about queer teens — either everything is awful or everything is great — but the truth of that lived experience often falls somewhere in between. Few characters have reflected that reality better than Elena Alvarez. Her first crush has a boyfriend but she awkwardly falls into a loving relationship, nonetheless. Elena knows who she is and even who she wants to be with but she doesn’t have everything figured out. She stumbles trying to make her relationship work.

“I’m moving on with my life. I’m gonna be fine,” Elena tells her unsupportive father during ODAAT‘s second season. “I’m just really bummed out for you. You’re gonna miss stuff and that sucks, ’cause I’m pretty great.”

We know, Elena, we know.

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Toni Topaz, Riverdale

Written by Kayla 

Where to watch: The CW, Netflix, Amazon Prime
Episode(s) where they crushed it: 214, “The Hills Have Eyes”; 215, “There Will Be Blood”; 217, “The Noose Tightens,” 222, “Brave New World”

Toni’s relationship with Cheryl Blossom was one of the most exciting developments of Riverdale’s last season, but I think it’s important to note that Toni also very much stands on her own as a character. Her loyalty to the serpents and her convictions in her beliefs are strongly felt in all of her actions. She calls out the whitewashing of the town’s history and takes a stand. She’s also fun and flirty and a supportive force for Cheryl, who doesn’t have many people in her life she can trust. She also literally executes a conversion therapy camp rescue mission like a goddamn Bisexual Batman. I’m thrilled that Vanessa Morgan has been upped to regular status for season three.

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Cruz (I’m Too Sexy for a Last Name), Vida

Written by Kayla 

Where to watch: STARZ, STARZ Add-on on Hulu or Amazon Prime
Episode(s) where they crushed it: 102, “Episode 2“; 104, “Episode 4“; 106, “Episode 6”

Cruz might not be the biggest player on Vida, but her presence is electric from the start. She bursts back into Emma’s life like a flash flood when she appears in the pilot, and even though very little is said, it’s clear right away that these two women mean something to each other. The sexual tension persists, finally boiling over when Emma ends up partying with Cruz and her crew of hot qpoc at a bar one night. Cruz challenges Emma, but she also sees her. Hopefully we’ll be seeing more of her in season two.

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Lifetime Achievement Award: Lena Adams Foster, The Fosters

Written by Carmen

Where to watch: Freeform, Netflix
Episode(s) where they crushed it: 513, “Line in the Sand”; 518, “Just Say Yes” ; 522, “Where the Heart Is”

2018 has thus far been banging for queer women of color on television. I would go so far as to call it a landmark. A breakthrough, even! But, there was a time when our waters were much more choppy. There was a biracial black lesbian on TV who had to hold it down almost entirely by herself. That lesbian was Lena Adams-Foster.

This year The Fosters gave her a happy ending fit for a social justice queen – gorgeous as ever, Lena’s out there making her mark in the world, skinny dipping with her hot wife in the Caribbean and running for California State Assembly.

So, this one’s for you, Lena! Thank you for your effortless boho style, your giving heart, your generous spirit. You crushed it for five long years. We will never forget you.

Spring/Summer 2018 TV Preview: All the Lesbian and Bisexual and Trans Women TV Characters Your Heart Requires

The time has come to talk about spring and summer teevee! Okay, the time has kind of passed to talk about spring teevee, but not by too much — all of these shows that started in spring are still airing! It’s been a pretty okay year for LGBTQ women on television so far. Very few deaths, historically speaking, and a decent amount of kissing and some critically acclaimed series filled out with queer women. Summer is always an exciting time for us because it’s when the genre shows rain down in full force and we’ve always had the most representation in sci-fi and fantasy. This spring and summer, though, there’s plenty of non-supernatural dramas too. Below is every show we know about that has a premiere date. We’ll keep this list updated as new premiere dates are announced, and you can bookmark this page or reference it from the Arts & Entertainment Menu at the top of your Autostraddle Website Page.

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April 2018 Queer TV Show Premieres

It’s true, these shows have already begun — but they weren’t in our winter preview, and we want to make sure they’re on your radar!

Star, Wednesday March 29th (Fox) – Season Two

Star’s a soap opera about low income, teen girls of color reaching for the music superstar dreams. It has had an impressive slate of black QTPOC representation in front of and behind the camera — including Amiyah Scott as Cotton Brown, becoming the first trans actress to play a trans woman in a regular network TV role, and out actor Miss Lawrence as Miss Bruce. It also stars Queen Latifah and is produced by out gay producer Lee Daniels. One of the show’s lead protagonists is Simone Davis, a biracial, bisexual teen who’s in and out of foster care. She’s got an unbreakable spirit and determination to go after her goals. It wouldn’t be fair not to warn you that (SPOILER ALERT) Star buried one of its gays last winter. I still find the musical soap enjoyable, but it’s something to keep in mind. — Carmen

Siren, Thursday March 29th (Freeform) – Season One

A murder mermaid temporarily shed her tail and popped onto land for a while, learning the way humans do things and then tossing them aside to do what she wants. And sometimes that thing includes kissing a girl. The girl has a boyfriend but the boyfriend is into the mermaid too so we might have our first-ever man-woman-mermaid throuple situation heading our way on Freeform in this ten-episode series. — Valerie Anne

Famous in Love, Wednesday April 4th (Freeform) – Season Two

Bisexual actress Alexis is the star of her own reality television show this season, which means regularly negotiating the temptation to ruin the lives of everybody she knows and cares about in order to amass fame and the veneer of success! What an inspirational character for us all. — Riese

Imposters, Thursday April 5th (Bravo) – Season Two

The Bumblers, including our fave, Jules Langmore, are riding high after exacting revenge on the ex that betrayed them all but things quickly go sour and the trio are forced to regroup in Mexico. Season Two promises to delve more into Jules’ backstory, including introducing us to her sister, Poppy (Rachel Skarsten). — Natalie

Killing Eve, Sunday April 8th (BBC America) – Season One

Sandra Oh has finally booked the post-Grey’s Anatomy leading role she deserves, playing Eve, a spy tracking down a notorious bisexual assassin named Villanelle (Jodie Comer). Their obsession with each other is laced with sexual attraction. And even though it’s a spy thriller, Phoebe Waller-Bridge infuses this dark world with bits of unexpected humor that Oh and Comer bring out masterfully. Killing Eve is the sexy, queer spy thriller I’ve long craved. — Kayla (warning: due to the genre of this show, steady yourself for some gays to get buried.)

Supergirl, Monday April 16th (The CW) – Season Three

Supergirl took a hiatus to sort some stuff out and I’m really hoping that means great things for the back half of this season. Our resident lesbian, Alex, is still getting over her ex-girlfriend Maggie, so I doubt she’ll have any kind of lady love until Season Four, but hopefully the show continues to focus on her relationship with Kara, and remember that the show actually is about Supergirl, not her boring ex-boyfriend. Also if Alex wanted to go on a few bad Tinder dates just for giggles I’d be fine with that, too. — Valerie Anne

Westworld, Sunday April 22nd (HBO) – Season Two

When asked about exploring Dolores’s sexuality, Evan Rachel Wood said her character is “not either a man or a woman” and, furthermore, “All I can say is, yes, there’s going to be something. I wasn’t disappointed. I was like, ‘Yay,’ but that’s all I can say.” It is very difficult to describe Westworld at all in a little paragraph in a teevee preview — because LOL I barely understand what’s going on half the time. Still it’s some of the most exciting television on television these days, even if all the queer stuff has been either deeply buried/implied or very surface level. — Riese

Into the Badlands, Sunday April 22nd (AMC) – Season Two

Season Two came back both with and without a bang. That is to say, Tilda isn’t sporting her classic bang look anymore, but it’s because she needs her hair slicked back — the better to murder men with, my dear. It looks like she’ll be slaying enemies alongside her girl Odessa this season while she works out her mommy issues. We’ll also meet a new character who really upped the murder game; she has potential to really shake things up. — Valerie

The 100, Tuesday April 24th (The CW) – Season Five

I’ll be honest: It doesn’t matter how we do or do not write about this show, someone will get mad at us because we did or did not write about this show. So, here are the facts: The 100 still boasts a badaass bisexual leading character. The 100 also unrepentantly murdered a lesbian character that set off a chain reaction of activism that changed the landscape of queer TV forever. Whatever your relationship is to this show, it’s valid. We’re not telling you what to believe. What we’re telling you is that The 100, unlike Lexa, continues to exist.

The Handmaid’s Tale, Wednesday April 25th (Hulu) – Season Two

This show remains hella dark and chock-full of queer women — one of whom (Moira, played by Samira Wiley) has escaped to Canada where she’s dealing with Gilead-inspired trauma and another (Emily, played by Alexis Bledel) who has been sent to The Colonies to dig up nuclear waste until she dies! You can read my review of it here. — Riese

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May 2018 Queer TV Show Premieres

Dear White People, Friday May 4th (Netflix) – Season Two

The black queer women supporting characters of Dear White People’s first season were super underwhelming, which personally hurts me because one of them was played by Nia Long — one of my oldest childhood crushes. Dear White People‘s based on the cult classic satire indie film of the same name about being a black student in a predominantly white university. The original film was produced by Lena Waithe and brought to screen by out gay writer/director/producer Justin Simien. Simien also helms the Netflix series and, according to the trailer, we can at least expect a Lena Waithe cameo in the second season! In her brief clip, she says “black lesbians” real slow and felt so good to my ears, I rewound it three times. — Carmen

Vida, Sunday May 6th (Starz) – Season One

I am so excited for you all to fall in love with Vida! Vida is about two Chicana sisters returning to their old neighborhood in East LA after their mother’s death. One of the sisters is queer. Both sisters are surprised to find out that, upon her death, their mother was married to a woman. Out non-binary actor Ser Anzoategui plays the butch lesbian widow. The show’s produced by an out queer Chicana, Tanya Saracho, and has a predominately queer Latinx writers room. It’s sooo, soo good y’all. It’s on Starz, which I know is not a cable channel that’s easily accessible for everyone, but I promise you that it’s going to be worth the effort to seek out! We’re going to be talking more about Vida in the upcoming weeks and helping you all find ways to support it — because we want you to have nice things!! And this is a really nice thing. — Carmen

Sweetbitter, Sunday May 6th (Starz) – Season One

Sweetbitter is the story of Tess, a 22-year-old who flees her old life for a new one in Manhattan where she immediately snags a job at an exclusive restaurant. Set in 2006, Tess serves an upscale clientele, hangs at an industry dive bar, learns a lot about food and wine and, mostly, learns a lot about people. One of her new friends is Ari, played by Eden Epstein, described as “a backwaiter by day and an adventurous lesbian and DJ by night.” The book was pretty good (although I was partial to it, having also been a young New York aspirant in 2006 and having waited tables in the city), perhaps the series will be even better! — Riese

13 Reasons Why, Friday May 18th (Netflix) – Season Two

I found Season One to be really f*cked up on just about every level including basic storytelling, and allegedly creators are taking this feedback into account with Season Two, which will shift its focus from Hannah’s suicide to a sexual assault trial. According to Netflix, “Liberty High prepares to go on trial, but someone will stop at nothing to keep the truth surrounding Hannah’s death concealed. A series of ominous Polaroids lead Clay and his classmates to uncover a sickening secret and a conspiracy to cover it up.” Furthermore, “Jessica’s recovery will also be explored as Yorkey looks to examine what it’s like to go from being a victim of sexual assault to being a survivor of sex assault.” Lesbian character Courtney Crimson will continue her role and sexually fluid Hannah will remain front-and-center.

Picnic at Hanging Rock, Friday May 25th (Amazon Prime) – Season One

The classic 1975 novel about three schoolgirls who vanish from Appleyard College for Young ladies on Valentine’s Day 1900 has been adapted before — Peter Weir’s 1975 film “certainly picked up on the erotic subtext” of the story, but the new Foxtel series “takes the sexual undercurrents rippling among the residents of Appleyard College and the local townsfolk and makes them a tad more obvious.” Somehow, a wooden dildo is involved. Regardless, we’re in. — Riese

Queen Sugar, Tuesday May 29th (OWN) – Season Three

Details are scant about what to expect from season three of Queen Sugar but with a focus on the “journey of fatherhood,” we anticipate Nova Bordelon exploring her unresolved issues with her late father, Ernest. We’re also keeping hope alive that 20gayteen brings Nova a girlfriend. — Natalie

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June 2018 Queer TV Show Premieres

Humans, Tuesday June 5th (AMC) – Season 3

Here’s what we know about Season Three of Humans: “One year after the dawn of consciousness, a decimated and oppressed Synth population fights to survive in a world that hates and fears them. In a divided Britain, Synths and Humans struggle to broker an uneasy peace, but when fractures within the Synth community itself start to appear, all hope of stability is threatened.” Pansexual synth Niska will be back, but her girlfriend Astrid isn’t showing up on IMDB as part of Season Three. I hope she finds somebody else to be queer with. — Riese

Pose, Sunday June 3rd (FX) – Season One

There has never been a show like Ryan Murphy’s Pose on TV. Ever. It boasts 50+ LGBTQ characters and the largest number of trans series regulars in American TV history. MJ Rodriguez, Indya Moore, Dominique Jackson, Hailie Sahar and Angelica Ross are all playing trans characters, and Janet Mock and Our Lady J are producing and have both been in in the writers room. You’re about to learn a whole lot about ’80s ball culture! — Heather

The Fosters, Monday June 4th (Freeform) – Finale Event

After five seasons, the Adams Fosters clan are ready to say their final goodbye. The three episode finale mini series takes place roughly four years in the future from the main body of the show. All of the Adams Fosters children have graduated from either high school or college and the entire family is coming together to celebrate Brandon’s wedding. I don’t care about Brandon Adams Foster, ever, and the trailer for the finale does little to assuage my worries. However, The Fosters really stuck the landing of their final season. They brought back heart to their storytelling and refocused their central energy on Stef and Lena. It’s enough that to have regained my trust going into summer. — Carmen

Younger, Tuesday June 5th (TV Land) – Season 5

This is a good show and I don’t care if you believe me! Yes, there’s a straight love triangle at the center. And no, resident lesbian Maggie doesn’t get as much screentime as she should. But each season gets better and better at developing her character and bringing her into the fold and the real story here is women and their careers and their friendships. The last time we saw Maggie, she was in Ireland bedding the mother of the bride of her best friend Liza’s ex-boyfriend. She also has an on-again/off-again thing with Hilary Duff’s pansexual best friend, Lauren. — Heather

Sense8, Friday June 8th (Netflix) – Finale

AHEM: “Personal lives are pushed aside as the cluster, their sidekicks, and some unexpected allies band together for a rescue mission and BPO take-down in order to protect the future of all Sensates.” — Riese

Claws, Sunday June 10th (TNT) – Season Two

Quiet Ann and the ladies of Nail Artisans of Manatee County are back using their salon to launder money for the mob, only this time, it’s for a female-led Russian mafia. As the ladies are asked to do more, they realize their own capability — they’re criminals and they are good at it — and start to think that, maybe, it’s time they became their own bosses. — Natalie

The Bold Type, Tuesday June 12th (Freeform) – Season Two

This show ended up being one of summer’s sweetest treats last year, and I can’t wait for more romance between bisexual social media maven Kat Edison and lesbian artist and activist Adena El Amin — including, apparently, a big meet-the-parents moment. I am ready to laugh, cry, and yearn for all of Jacqueline Carlyle’s power wardrobe. — Kayla

G.L.O.W., Friday June 29th (Netflix) – Season Two

When G.L.O.W. returns for its second season we will FINALLY get what we craved throughout its homoerotic first season: Yolanda, a lesbian wrestler played by Shakira Barrera. — Riese

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July 2018 Queer TV Show Premieres

Heathers, Tuesday July 10th (Paramount) -Season One

UPDATE 6/5: THIS SHOW HAS BEEN OFFICIALLY FOREVER CANCELLED AND WILL NEVER AIR

The initial debut of this program was critically panned, and consequently withdrawn allegedly on account of the Parkland shooting. If they haven’t changed anything about the show since their first go-around, we’ll probably hate it.

Harlots, Wednesday July 11th (Hulu) – Season Two

We return to my favorite show ever about sex workers to find the city’s top madams in an even more dramatic feud than they were in Season One —Violet’s future in peril, her religious fundamentalist gal pal doing what she can to save her, and a new judge determined to rid his city of what he perceives to be “vice.” Liv Tyler joins the cast as Lady Isabella Fitzwilliam, a wealthy woman with zero personal freedom who has mad sexual tension with Charlotte Wells. — Riese

UnREAL, Monday July 16th (Hulu) – Season 4

Traci Thoms returns as Fiona, a power lesbian television executive, in the very uneven final season of this “Bachelor” send-up. Your favorite lesbian, Faith, does a one-episode guest spot as a therapist brought in to mediate a conflict between several contestants.

Wynonna Earp, Friday July 20th (SyFy) – Season 3

Season 2 was full of goo, babies, time warps, demons, and so many ladies kissing. It answered a lot of questions, and asked a whole lot more. Season 3 promises more mystery (Mama Earp?!), drama (a cult?!!), and, of course, quality queer content. At a recent panel, when asked about the gayness of Season Three, Emily Andras said, “What’s the straightest show you can think of? I feel like Season 3 makes Season 2 look like that straight show.” Yee haw. — Valerie Anne

Killjoys, Friday July 20th (SyFy) – Season 4

With Lost Girl’s Michelle Lovretta behind the wheel, it wasn’t really a surprise, but definitely a welcome turn when the main big bad of Season 3 ended up in a relationship with another running antagonist. Aneela and Delle Seyah are a unique pairing, to be sure, but they’ve made it clear that they’d risk just about anything for each other. Their fates were inextricably linked with Dutch, Johnny and D’av’s in the Season 3 finale, so I have a feeling we haven’t seen the last of these murder girlfriends. — Valerie Anne

Orange is the New Black, Friday July 27th (Neflix) – Season 6

Season 6 of OITNB promises, somehow, that it will get even darker than previous seasons as inmates are shipped out of Litchfield following the riot and sent to other prisons. We follow the women who end up in Max, where they try to negotiate a new set of prison gangs, divided by block, and an investigation into what happened during the riot that puts Taystee in a precarious legal position. Adrienne Moore, who plays Black Cindy, told The Hollywood Reporter, “Toward the end of season five, there were some people that were agreeing to stick together, and there were some people that were looking out for themselves. We’ll see the repercussions of those decisions in this next season.”

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August 2018 Queer TV Show Premieres

Insatiable, Friday August 10th (Netflix) – Season One

The coming out story of this pretty much universally panned series is apparently its only redeeming factor!

The House of Flowers, Friday August 10th (Netflix) – Season One

A Spanish-language comedy-drama program about a dysfunctional high-class Mexican family that owns a prestigious flower shop. Juan Pablo Medina plays María José, a transgender woman who has a child with her ex-wife, Paulina, who is still carrying a torch for María.

The Sinner, August 15th (USA) – Season 2

This anthology series returns with a new case and a mostly new cast for Season 2, including Natalie Paul as Heather Novak, a black lesbian detective put on the case of a boy who murders his parents for very unclear reasons in very strange circumstances.

Mr. Mercedes, Wednesday August 22nd (Audience) – Season 2

Breeda Wool will be returning as techie lesbian Lou Linklatter, according to Den of Geek. As the first season drew from Stephen King’s book of the same name, Season Two will be drawing from a few follow-up novels. — Riese

Autostraddle March Madness — Best First Kiss: Elite 8

Did you watch the women’s Final Four games over the weekend? If you missed them and you’re even remotely interested in sports, you missed three truly classic games that really embodied everything that’s great about March Madness. We got dramatic comebacks — Notre Dame battled back from being down 15 to Mississippi State in the national championship game — after pulling an improbable upset of UCONN in the semifinals. And the buzzer beaters… OH MY GOD, the buzzer beaters!

Mississippi State’s Roshunda Johnson hit long three with seconds left against Louisville to push their semifinal game into overtime and then, in the next semifinal, Notre Dame’s Arike Ogunbowale hit a stepback jumper with one second left to topple UCONN. Two nights later, Ogunbowale struck again, hitting a fall away three pointer just before the buzzer to give the Irish the championship. It was incredible.

Now, while Autostraddle’s version of March Madness probably won’t have me tweeting expletives or running around my living room yelling “can you believe that!” to no one in particular (especially since y’all had the good sense to finally eliminate Piper and Alex), we’ve still had our share of excitement. For the second round in a row, we’ve had a contest decided by ten votes or less.

I expect that trend to continue in the Elite 8 where y’all have set up some virtually impossible match-ups. After Kat and Adena narrowly beat out Elena and Syd in the Sweet 16, they go onto face Kate and Emaline from Everything Sucks. Despite the public lament about the match-up between Cosmina and Delphine and Nicole and Waverly, the ladies of Wynonna Earp defeated them pretty easily and set up another difficult match-up with Maggie and Alex of Supergirl.

In the International Region, fans excited about Kate and Rana’s impending return on Coronation Street advanced them into the Elite 8. They’ll meet Flor and Jazmin who overcame an unexpectedly tough challenge from Sara and Carlota of Cable Girls. I thought, for sure, that Las Estrellas would come out of this region but now this region really looks like a toss-up.

Over in the Drama Region, things went about as I expected hoped for, as Piper and Alex were finally sent packing by Petra and JR and Lena and Stef overcame a strong challenge from Izzy and Emma. Of course, that sets up another Sophie’s choice for you in the Elite 8: Jane the Virgin or The Fosters.

So now it’s time to make your picks! You’ve got 48 hours to summon all the fandom to Autostraddle to vote for whom should represent the Baby Gays, Sci-Fi/Fantasy, International and DRAMA regions in the Final Four. Voting in this round will close on Wednesday, April 4 at 2PM EST.

The Baby Gays

Kate and Emaline, Everything Sucks vs. Adena and Kat, The Bold Type

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Sci-Fi/Fantasy Babes

Alex and Maggie, Supergirl vs. Nicole and Waverly, Wynonna Earp

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International Faves

Florencia (“Flor”) and Jazmin, Las Estrellas vs. Kate and Rana, Coronation Street

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DRAMA Faves

Petra and Jane “JR” Ramos, Jane the Virgin vs. Lena and Stef, The Fosters 

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“The Fosters” Season Finale Focuses on Stef and Lena’s Life-Changing Love and Sets the Stage for Their Summer Goodbye

Back in January, when it was announced that The Fosters would be ending at the conclusion of its fifth season, paving the way for a Callie and Mariana focused spin-off, I was hit with a pang of nostalgia.

It all came back in at once — Callie, face bruised from the fight she had with Daphne in Juvie, calling Stef and Lena “dykes”; Jude painting his nails blue and Lena telling him it was okay to be brave; Mariana’s Quinceñera dance with her two moms. I thought about when I first discovered Lucy Hallowell’s writing about The Fosters all those years ago and the space she created for fans online. Then, the community wide glee we all felt when Lucy’s nickname for Jude — Judicorn — first made its way out of our online home and on to the big screen. I remembered how good it felt when the show we were watching started talking back to us. Those memories, they flooded me like a wave.

I was also tentative. The greatness of The Fosters has been fleeting at times. Even though the batch of episodes that aired last summer seemed to be putting the show back on track, the middle seasons of The Fosters definitely lost their way. They were bogged down in a breakneck speed of unnecessary drama and plot twists. The big, endearingly messy Adams Foster family that was once the show’s heartbeat barely even filmed scenes together. Characters seemed to make the same mistake over and over, never completing a satisfactory growth arc. I worried about which version of The Fosters would show up to take its final bow — the warm, progressive family drama that I first fell in love with or the cheap veneer soap opera it had once tried to become.

With the winter portion of the fifth season firmly behind us, and only a three-episode special summer “goodbye” in our future, I can say confidently that The Fosters is coming back full circle. They have returned their focus to the family, and most importantly, to the best moms on television.

I had the pleasure of covering the winter season in Autostraddle’s weekly television round up, Boob(s On Your) Tube, but in case you haven’t been able to follow along, with most of the Adams Foster kids in their late teens and independent of their parents, the moms were given space to play. Stef’s first love, her high school best friend Tess, moved next door with her husband and child. It wasn’t long before Tess realized that she had repressed feelings of her own, and began the messy, complicated process of a late in life coming out. Stef and Lena’s longterm on again/off again close friend Jenna also showed back up, and just like that the stage was perfectly set for a suburban minivan version of The L Word.

Jenna provided consistent comic relief and Tess’ emotional upheaval weaved well into the weekly Fosters drama. Most stunning were the ways that Tess’ involvement gave Teri Polo the opportunity to open up her toolbox one last time and find new colors in the role Stef Foster. There was a time, not many seasons ago, that Tess’ arrival would have signaled a love triangle or cheating plot for Stef and Lena. Instead, The Fosters took this opportunity to bring together what were previously thought of as separate threads of Stef’s history: her fraught relationship with her homophobic father, her own internalized homophobia about her butch gender identity, and the ways she emotionally closes herself off from Lena. Separately, none of these themes were unheard of to the audience, but introducing a new intimate character from Stef’s past allowed us to reconsider what we already knew about the San Diego police detective — she has long been suffering from an anxiety disorder.

Whenever given the brief opportunity to shine, Teri Polo’s work as Stef Foster over the years has been carefully drawn, emotionally honest, and nuanced. The Fosters winter season gave her ample room to guide us through Stef’s emotional barriers. We watched as her panic attacks went from mild to acute, as she finally found help in therapy, as she dug deep in her guts and confronted her mother (the always delightful Annie Potts) about the lack of support she felt during her coming out. Lena held the love of her life late at night, kissing her temples through tears and telling her it would be okay. Eventually, Lena put her foot down about Tess and the ways that their neighbor continued to carelessly ensnarl the Adams Fosters into her family problems. That moment of protection, an action we are most used to seeing from Stef as opposed to Anchor Beach’s hottest principal, set the stage for the winter finale, where Stef and Lena left the kids alone to embark on a couple’s meditation retreat.

Stef’s mom gifted the duo with the mini-vacation, but mistakenly listed Stef as “Mr. Stev Foster” so things are off to a great start! (They are not). There’s canoeing and yoga sessions where goats stand on your back for God know’s why, but more than anything, Stef is hesitant to be emotionally bare around all these straight couples who she feels she has nothing in common with. The other couples in attendance don’t help matters much, with their veiled comments and microaggressions that two women shouldn’t need counseling! They must be so great at communicating! There’s also the gendered therapy activities, exercises where the “wife” is supposed to dress sexy for her “husband.” It’s all a mess, and Stef and Lena can’t seem to stop fighting. Stef finds herself drawing back into old habits, closing herself off.

Until the group therapy session, where couples share the individual lows in their relationship. One husband laments that the lives of their teen children have interrupted his bonding with his wife, another admits to an emotional affair with a co-worker, a wife talks about her unresolved relationship with her dead father. If these plot points sound similar to you, it’s because we have seen Stef and Lena fight each of these battles over the last five years. I’m as quick to make an “Ugh! Straights!” joke as the next gal, but ultimately that’s the thing about humanity: there’s more that connects us than divides us. Sometimes, that can be the hardest truth to see.

Lena, always so brave with her heart, finally feels safe enough to be vulnerable in front of these strangers. She shares her darkest truth, with two of the Adams Fosters kids leaving for college in the fall, and another two after that, Lena’s worried that once the house is empty again — will she and Stef have anything left that’s just for them?

Stef looks like someone struck her in the chest. With all of her emotional turmoil the last year, I think this is the first time she really thought about how Lena’s been coping. We’ve seen a lot of ups and downs between these two women, and they’ve always chosen to keep fighting, to keep loving. Lena’s worried that they can’t keep going, not without help. It’s a vital turning point in their relationship, and with the show wrapping up, it couldn’t have been more perfectly timed.

That night, after another fight, Stef storms out into the woods alone. She’s tending to one of the therapy goats when she’s confronted by a familiar voice. The spirit of her father.

What followed could have come across as hokey or laugh worthy, but Teri Polo sells it with all her might. I stood barefoot in my kitchen, mouth agape, eyes glued to my screen as she finally let go of the emotional baggage Stef’s been holding onto in a vice grip for the last five years.

The messages you receive in childhood stay with you. All Stef ever wanted was her father’s approval — it’s why she became a cop, it’s why she married Mike, it’s why she pretended to be straight.

His memory has haunted her. Even when she wouldn’t admit it, she’s felt him in the corners of her mind. He left her feeling ashamed of herself, and she hasn’t let it go. All she ever wanted was for him to be proud of her. All she ever wanted was to hear him say, “There’s nothing wrong with you”

But, he can’t.

So instead, this vision of her dad guides Stef, tears streaming down her face and breath coming out in broad gasps, to say those things to herself. Tell herself that she’s worthy. That she loves herself. That she gets to be proud of herself, and of how much she loves her beautiful Lena, their kids, and this life they made together.

He tells her, when she’s finally able to believe that, maybe then the scars he left on her soul can heal. Maybe she’ll be able to make room and remember that he did love her, even if he didn’t know how to show it the ways that she needed it most.

I don’t talk much about my dad, ever. He’s a cop. He’s stoic. Over 6 feet tall with a voice that grumbles more than it carries. We speak on the phone maybe once or twice a month, never for longer than ten minutes. We talk about basketball scores, or the last book we read. Sometimes we exchange recipes. We aren’t close. And he doesn’t know I’m gay.

What has kept me watching The Fosters, despite its flaws, is that on the days when I’m brave enough or optimistic enough to imagine my future self, I am most often sipping tea somewhere that looks like Stef and Lena’s kitchen. I have writing to attend to, or a stack of papers to grade, and a wife who loves me. I have kickass feminist kids like Callie or Jude or Mariana. The Fosters has been my safe space to dream. Lots of people in my life have been quick to notice how much I’m like Lena, a mixed race girl with a curly fro, a social justice core, and a big heart. This episode reminded me that my toughest parts are most like Stef — I’m closed off, protective. If I’m going to one day have healthy love in my life, I have to find the courage to love myself and tell myself, even at thirty years old, I have permission to let go. I do not require his — or anyone else’s — approval.

Stef comes back to the hotel to find Lena in their bed. There, alone — just the two of them — she lets out her truth in a whisper, like confessional. Tess moving in next door made it so that she could no longer outrun her shame. The shame that keeps her from letting Lena in all the way to her heart, the shame that leaves her feeling dirty or wrong when they make love. She loves Lena, and she is proud of their family, but she lives in constant fear that one day their right to love each other will be stripped away— because they’re not “normal.” Her feelings are ugly, and she used to just cover them up. She would act like she’s stronger than she was, because she didn’t want to hurt Lena or scare Lena. Worse, she didn’t want Lena to reject her for not being as brave in her love as Lena is in hers. But, here she is, ready to let Lena see her in her self-loathing, and hope that Lena will love her anyway.

Lena holds Stef’s hands in her palms, she looks at her wife in the eyes, and tells her that she’s always known. She knows Stef like she knows the contours of her own heart. She sees her fears, her struggles, and she loves Stef for all of those things, not in spite of them. She wants Stef to feel safe enough together to show her dark places. She wants to let her love heal those open wounds. More than anything, she wants their love to heal each other.

It was a raw, truthful love scene between two women who had nothing else to lose and everything left to gain. For the first time, Stef and Lena showed us that love isn’t a picture perfect frame — a house, cute kids, picket fence and kitchen to die for — it takes hard, scary work if it’s ever going to survive. They wake up the next morning, naked from their lovemaking and tangled in their sheets. Stef looks at her wife like the sun shines out of her face, and leans over to ask, “Lena Adams Foster, will you marry me for a third time? Please?”

Lena responds, “Honey, I will marry you every time you ask”.

The rest of 2018 can pack it in now. It’s not going to get better than this.

The finale ends on Graduation Day. Callie and Brandon barely make it on time (of course). Lena, presiding over her first graduating class as principal, tells her students, along with us in the viewing audience, “Thank you all so much for taking this journey with us. And remember: It’s not where you come from, it’s where you belong.”

First, we watch as Callie and Brandon receive their diplomas, along with a hug from Lena for each of them, the audience is told that Callie was accepted to the five year law program at UCSD and Brandon will be studying film scoring at the Musician’s Institute. Then, as quick as a blink, the camera goes out of focus before coming in on another year!

The surprise time jump is so exquisitely executed that I couldn’t stop myself from audibly whooping for the twins as they cross the stage next, with Mariana — and Emma — bound for MIT and Jesús staying local at a junior college. With my hands clasped over my mouth, I vibrated up and down as we see our little Jude Adams Foster cross the stage on his way to UCLA.

So many of our extended family, old reoccurring characters, show up in the crowds. Mike and Ana, the twins’ biological mom, along with Ana’s daughter Isabella; Daphne, Callie’s closest friend from Girls, United (and the person who bruised up her face in the pilot episode) is reunited with her daughter — seeing them cheer Callie on together brought tears to my eyes; Ximena and Poppy are together and safe with their family, Ximena’s DACA status finally approved; Jude’s biological dad watches with the sun glaring in his eyes. Stef and Mariana’s hair changes with years — Jude apparently went through a goth phase in the middle! — everyone grows older, but still comes back together as the future graduations mark their lives. Watching the quilted fabric of the Adams Fosters broader lives in montage, it’s a perfect touch.

The Adams Fosters end gathered around their family table one last time, chanting Judicorn!!! at the top of their lungs. Tears sprang forward to my eyes. A final callout to their gay fans and the home we created. I heard it loud and clear.

This isn’t to say the show got everything right in the last year. In particular I was disappointed that the growing, potentially romantic, relationship between Callie and Ximena was dropped in the finale without as much as a mention. It felt like the show ran out of time. I also wish that we could’ve spent more time with Jude away from his gamer friends and better connected to his siblings. Brandon is still Brandon, and it looks like he’s going to have a major arc in the summer goodbye event. I think the show is best when it’s not focused on his love life.

Still, despite those flaws, The Fosters has found itself again. It’s going to be bittersweet to say goodbye in June. If you didn’t have a chance to watch the episodes, it’s well worth it to catch up. Until then, I’ll see you all this summer! I have a few months to get something special planned.

Boob(s On Your) Tube: Cheryl Blossom Finally Experiences The Sapphic Serpent’s Soft Touch

The biggest surprise of this gay TV week was the return of Take My Wife! But that’s not all — there were plenty of queer shenanigans happening around the wide world of television and we’ve got updates on all of them!

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Riverdale 214: “The Hills Have Eyes”

Written by Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya

This week’s episode of Riverdale is incredibly queer. For one, it’s pretty much an advertisement for the queer YA movie adaptation Love, Simon, and hey, I’m cool with that because I now can technically say Jennifer Garner has been on Riverdale and no one can stop me! But this week’s episode of Riverdale is also incredibly queer because it finally delivers what we have all been waiting for: canonically bisexual Cheryl Blossom.

At the top of the episode, Cheryl’s own mother tells her she has never known love. It’s a gutting moment, Penelope’s seething words bruising Cheryl. Those wounds worsen at school, when Cheryl assumes she’s invited to Veronica’s cabin with the show’s core four and Veronica tells her it’s a romantic trip for couples only. Cheryl’s loneliness has been brewing for a while on the show, and this episode brings that to a head.

So she lashes out, because that’s how she tends to deal with things — by lighting them on fire. She waits until Betty, Jughead, Archie, and Veronica are all comfortable at their weekend getaway/sexcapade and then calls up Jughead to tell him she saw Betty kiss Archie.

Toni overhears Cheryl’s mean phone call, but instead of calling her out for it, she asks her why she did it. She sees that something wrong, understands that there’s much more to this girl than her Shakespearean, quick-tongued insults and gothic-glam outfits. She attempts to comfort her, but Cheryl puts a wall up, shouting “get your Sapphic, serpent hands off of me!,” which is both one of the best Cheryl Blossom lines ever as well as seering evidence of how powerful internalized homophobia can be.

Later, Cheryl and Toni find themselves alone at the movies, and Cheryl lets her in a little more. They agree to watch Love, Simon together and get milkshakes after. For as in-your-face as the Love, Simon product placement is, it’s smart of the writers to actually have the movie play such a significant role in this narrative. Cheryl relates to the film’s protagonist and how repressing his sexuality has suffocated him. She entirely opens herself up to Toni and tells her that she used to love someone. Toni thinks she’s talking about Jason at first, but she isn’t. She’s talking about Heather, her best friend in middle school who she loved. When Cheryl’s mother thought they were getting too close, she called Cheryl a deviant and forced Cheryl and Heather apart.

Cheryl has always struggled with healthy relationship dynamics and boundaries. It’s easy to see where that stems from: Her parents straight up hate her, and her father killed her twin brother/best friend. Penelope Blossom’s hatred toward her daughter has always been a little confusing in how extreme it is. But Riverdale finally contextualizes that animosity as homophobia. Cheryl’s parents never saw her as the rightful heir to their maple kingdom because she’s queer. Penelope hated Cheryl long before Jason died, and by calling her a deviant, she planted the seed of internalized homophobia that has wrecked Cheryl’s perception of herself and ability to let herself really feel what she feels. The writing is thoughtful, and Madelaine Petsch turns in a bruising performance.

But it isn’t all doom and gloom. Riverdale strikes that delicate balance between acknowledging that coming out and embracing your sexuality can be hard and come with a lot of baggage but also not be completely tragic. Cheryl’s confession to Toni feels like a release. It’s hopeful, and I can’t wait for what comes next for Cheryl (kissing! girls! hopefully!).

Jughead voice Riverdale’s maple heiress had long surrounded herself with fire, but here Cheryl Blossom was now, drinking a strawberry milkshake next to a girl who thinks she’s sensational, the serpent’s soft touch melting her walls.

ANYWAY, some additional important things to note from this episode: During the core four’s cabin shenanigans, Veronica suggests that she should kiss Jughead in order to level the playing fields regarding the Archie/Betty kiss. Sure! Seems like solid teen logic! But then Veronica and Jughead kiss, and while Archie is pissed, Betty seems like totally into it? In fact, she kind of uses it as foreplay before having sex as Dark Betty with Jughead? She also talks about her cheerleading kiss with Veronica in a way that suggests she thinks about it all the time? I’m having a lot of feelings!

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Legends of Tomorrow313: “No Country for Old Dads”

Written by Valerie Anne

This show is not messing around and I’m like 90% sure they’re setting me up to get my heart broken but I legitimately don’t care because I’m loving the ride.

We open this week’s episode with a MORNING AFTER BREAKFAST of french toast and flirting.

They get a call from the Time Bureau telling them they have to save Ray, and a visit from Wally and Rip saying they can help.

Sara is pissed that Darhk is still mucking up their lives, and Ava goes to comfort her. They do a little non-verbal communicating and it’s sweet and gentle and pure.

Then the camera pans to Rip watching like a weirdo. But to get that out of our brains let’s go back to the kiss.

The director of the Time Bureau calls and says everything is in chaos and he has to stop Alexander Hamilton from seeing the musical Hamilton, and then he gets smashed to smithereens by Grodd, making Ava Sharpe the Director, effective immediately. And as much as I love this promotion, I feel like none of them reacted strongly enough to watching someone get BEATEN TO A PULP before their very eyes. But I guess they’ve seen Some Shit™.

After they save Ray, Wally West has to decide what he wants to do next. He’s worried he won’t fit in with the Legends, but Sara assures him that not fitting in is kind of their thing, so he decides to stick around. Which I’m excited about, I like Wally West.

As she bids adieu to Ava and the newly-instated Rip, Sara tells her gal pal to call her, referring to her as Director and giving her that Sara Lance smirk that could end a nuclear winter.

Once they’re alone, Rip asks Ava about her relationship with Sara. Ava looks down the hall where Sara just disappeared and calls her special, so as soon as she steps through the time portal, Rip has Gideon delete a record of some sort, saying the very ominous phrase, “Sara can never find out the truth about Ava.” The truth about Ava! What’s the truth about Ava?! It can’t be something too horrible or Rip would have made sure Sara knew and tried to meddle in their relationship. But what if Ava had something to do with Laurel’s death? Or the original boat crash that knocked Sara off the path of the spoiled socialite life she was born into?

I don’t know, and I’m stressed about it, and I’m also stressed because things look a little stressful for Sara in the promos, and HASN’T MY BADASS BISEXUAL BB BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH?! I mean she’s DIED on MULTIPLE OCCASIONS can she just get a damn break to enjoy being a Captain/Director power couple with Ava for like A MINUTE?!?! Sorry, sorry. Sara Lance has just become extremely important to me over the years and I just want her to be HAPPY, you know? Especially since I think she’s sort of given up hope that she can have a relationship, and I actually think she’d make a really great girlfriend. Fierce, funny, loyal af. So here’s hoping these two make it work, against all odds and mysteries.

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9-1-1 108: “Karma’s a Bitch”

Written by Natalie

There’s something that happens in us, when bad people — the smug and arrogant ones, in particular — fall. It’s that feeling you get every time you read about Robert Mueller securing another indictment: that those who cheated, lied and bullied their way to the top have finally — finally! — gotten their comeuppance. We take a little joy in their downfall and shout, “karma’s a bitch,” at them on their way down. Such is the case this week on 9-1-1, as every scene that Hen visits involves someone getting a lasting taste of justice for the sins they’ve committed… and justice is eked out in only a way that Ryan Murphy could imagine.

First the crew shows up to the scene of a shooting and, immediately, Hen remembers having visited once before. The show flashes back to a year earlier when the crew responded to a call from a husband whose wife hung herself on a tree in their frontyard. Chimney scales the tree, in the pouring rain, to cut her down and, when she’s freed, Hen and Bobby (Peter Krause) start compressions. It’s futile ultimately and as the husband stands there, indifferent to wife’s suicide, Hen notices scars on her arms.

Then we get another flashback! A flashback within a flashback! It’s 9-1-1: Inception Edition! We flash back to the moment where the wife’s finally had enough of being her husband’s punching bag and pulls a gun on him. He dares her to shoot and, when he moves closer, the bullet whizzes by his ear and lodges itself in the tree. He grabs the gun, pummels her again, and assures her that the only way out of their marriage is if she shoots herself. She opts to hang herself from the tree instead.

Later, the husband learns that the tree is rotted and needs to be taken down immediately. Instead of getting a professional to remove it, the husband opts to strap explosives to the tree’s trunk and ignites it with a shot from his rifle. To my surprise, his plan sorta works, but to his surprise, it works a little too well, dislodging his wife’s bullet and sending it right into his chest. He’s alive long enough to call for help but the bullet proves fatal.

Next the crew’s called to Metro Fitness, where the manager’s stroked out while lying in a tanning bed. What cruel thing has this dude done to warrant being roasted? The day before he’d left his dog, Mindy, inside a hot car and when an employee saved Mindy by destroying his window, he fired her. Hen tries to do compressions to revive him but his skin clings to her hand like slime. So, so gross. It’s the grossest thing I’ve seen on television since… well… last week’s episode of 9-1-1.

Meanwhile, Angela Bassett had this response:

https://twitter.com/ImAngelaBassett/status/971569394210885632

Same, Angela, same.

Then, we meet a dentist who decides that antagonizing a lion is a good idea. He is, predictably, very, very wrong and when the lion escapes its enclosure — because, of course it does — the dentist ends up being lunch. Does throwing a few pinecones in a lion’s direction merit being eaten alive? Well, if you’re a dentist a la Walter Palmer who spends his free time poaching lions and mounting their heads on your office wall, then, maybe so (the use of Alanis Morrisette’s “You Oughta Know” here is especially great).

But the mistake that Hen makes this week on 9-1-1 isn’t reveling in the karma being served to all these jerks, it’s that she doesn’t see herself as one of them. Recall that last week, Hen cheated on her wife, Karen, with her fresh from prison ex, Eva. She admits her sin to Athena who urges Hen to tell Karen. Hen resists but the Queen Mother of Wakanda offers some sage advice:

“Your relationship is screwed up already. You don’t cheat on a healthy relationship. What you did is just evidence of how bad it is Now, your telling Karen is your chance at fixing it,” Athena says. “It’s only when secrets are revealed that we know how good or bad a marriage is.”

There’s no resisting Angela Bassett when she’s right (or even when she’s wrong, probably) so Hen goes home to tell her wife the truth, but since Karma is a cruel and fickle bitch, Karen already knows. Eva’s suing for custody of the son she once shared with Hen because the home he’s currently being raised in is unstable…as evidenced by the fact that Hen slept with Eva. I’m not sure how that logic works, especially when you’re fresh out of prison, but this is a Ryan Murphy show, logic don’t live here.

Hen tries to explain but Karen’s not having it. She goes to pack a bag for her and Denny, but first turns to Hen and says, “I don’t know what it is that you went there looking for, but I hope you got it. And I hope it was worth it.”

OUCH.

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Life Sentence 101: “Pilot”

Written by Heather Hogan

Life Sentence flips Nicholas Sparks on his head. Not: How would you love with only six months left to live? But: How would you live if you found out you weren’t dying? But living isn’t the only surprise Stella Abbot faces off against in the CWs new drama. Surprise, her parents have to sell their house because her dad mismanaged their money paying for Stella’s rent and romantic fairytale trip to Paris! Surprise, her sister gave up a scholarship to Columbia to stay home and help take care of her and now she’s seething with resentment! Surprise, her mom’s a bi!

Let’s linger on that revelation because it’s a shock to Stella but it’s a revelation to TV too. Not that there’s queer characters on this show; CW’s practically mandating that at this point and Riese pointed it out months ago. The amazing thing about Stella’s mom, Ida, coming out is that she does it when she’s 50 on a family drama and, unlike most of the other handful of later-in-life coming out stories we’ve seen on television over the years, she doesn’t reach right for “lesbian.” She loved her husband and had a good life with him for a long time, and then she fell in love with another woman when her husband started lying about money and cutting himself off emotionally. She doesn’t know the lingo, she only knows it’s called “coming out” so when she confesses to her family that she’s pursuing a relationship with their longtime family friend (and Stella’s godmother), she blurts out, “I’m coming out! As a bi! … Is that how you do this?”

The only hand-wringing about it comes from Stella’s dad, who insists Ida can’t realize she’s sexually fluid after five decades and then gets drunk and starts saying “scissor-sisters” over and over at family dinner.

I really loved this pilot. Lucy Hale’s talent was wasted for a hundred years on Pretty Little Liars as she was forced out of the main narrative over and over and over to have boring/toxic storylines with Ezra. You could tell by season four that they were both honestly so over it, but what were they going to do? Networks and studios mandate what they mandate. Anyway, she’s great here as Stella. She’s sweet and self-deprecating and kinda selfish in the way a person would be if they’ve been fighting cancer for six years and their family has built a kingdom of lies around them to keep them from feeling any stress or discomfort. And yeah, the show is earnest, but it’s actually quite wry. It ribs Nicholas Sparks and all the tropes that go along with True Love stories, while leaning into some of them at the same time. It made me actually laugh out loud a few times.

Shows that are happy and don’t apologize for wanting to make their audience happy always get slapped around by critics, but the world is dark and light is precious and I’m adding Life Sentence to my DVR.

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The Fosters 516: “Giving Up the Ghost” and 517: “Makeover”

Written by Carmen

First, I want to apologize for slacking on my The Fosters mini recap duties last week! Let’s catch up! Let’s talk about how amazing Lena Adams Foster (my favorite Foster) was last week? Mariana told Lena that Tess threatened her about not outing her to her son. Lena looked upset, but was willing to let it go. Then Mariana and Tess’ son — maybe I should learn his name? Let’s go with “Cute Boy Next Door” for now — came over to the house for a study session that was actually a make out session. Before they could get kissing, the teens overheard Stef and Lena fighting over Tess being a lesbian, which understandably upset Cute Boy Next Door and ruined the mood.

Tess showed up at the Adams Foster home pissed and ready to yell at Stef for accidentally outing her, but Lena answered the door instead. She went full on “Mama Lion” Lena! Her face was stern, her voice was raised, her beautiful curly Afro was bouncing and swaying in the wind, it was all just perfect. Lena told Tess to stop showing up on their doorstep and ensnaring the entire Foster clan in her personal family mess! Tess went away with her tail between her legs, and Stef came downstairs to thank her wife. They decided to go away on a meditation retreat together, so look forward to that! Hopefully it won’t happen off camera!

This week nothing explicitly gay happened, but if you’re on Ximena/Callie Watch 2k18 (which many of us on Team Autostraddle definitely are), I feel it’s important to let you know that while Ximena was dealing with her parents deportation hearing — which was heartbreaking in and of itself — she found time to tell Callie that any boy who wouldn’t wait around for her wasn’t worth her time. Ximena’s exact words were, “I’d wait for you forever.” The romantic music swelled up and I thought for sure they were going to kiss, until Brandon opened up the door and broke the mood. He had good reasons ultimately, but I’m still putting him back on my “The Worst” list. Out of spite.

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Once Upon A Time 411: “Secret Garden”

Written by Carmen

Once Upon A Time focused this week’s flashback on the origin of how Robin Mills, our new queer fairy tale heroine, became “Robin Hood.” It’s a really sweet love story between a mother and her daughter, and forefronted how much of a tough chick Robin really is. The story picks up with high school aged Robin practicing spells out of the Mills family spell book. She’s been forcing her friends into a weak “coven” that practices after school for hours. The problem is that Robin is only a middling witch at best. She feels a lot of self-loathing for not living up to the Mills family tree. Her mother is the Wicked Witch for crying out loud! Her aunt is the Evil Queen! Her grandmother is the Queen of Hearts! Surely she must be able to do great things! Unfortunately, it’s just not working for her. She makes the saddest puppy faces!! I wanted to give her a hug and a cookie.

Robin eventually figures out a conjuring spell, which summons Mother Gothel (the witch in Rapunzel’s fairy tale? I don’t remember her). Mother Gothel tries to kill Robin as a ceremonial sacrifice. Zelena shows up at the last moment, and offers up her life instead. Just as Zelena’s life force is being whisked out of her body — it’s relatively gruesome — an arrow shoots through the air! Robin has picked up her first bow! And her first strike was to protect her mother’s life! Mother Gothel is defeated, but not dead, and Robin gets to save the day. Later, she confesses to her mom that’s a struggle being the “Blue Ivy” to the Mills Women’s collective Beyoncé. Zelena reminds her that there’s nothing wrong with being Jay-z instead, which is a little clunky — but also one of the kindest things a mother from a family of badass femme witches could tell her teenage tomboy daughter, you know? Be your own kind of hero.

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Grey’s Anatomy

Written by Carmen

If you haven’t heard the news yet, I am sorry to be the one to tell you. On Thursday it was announced that Jessica Capshaw, our beloved human rainbow Arizona Robbins, has been let go from Grey’s Anatomy. Capshaw, along with Sarah Drew, my personal favorite G.I. Jane of a trauma surgeon, April Kepner, were both let go based on creative decisions for the future direction of the show. Season 14 will be their last. Collectively, the Autostraddle television team had a lot of feelings about this, and if you also have a lot of feelings please share them in the comments section! I’ll be in there with you! Heather and I are already planning a proper goodbye for Arizona at the end of the season, but until then I want to leave you with this statement from Capshaw:

pic.twitter.com/HVfHbkEQTG

— Jessica Capshaw (@JessicaCapshaw) March 8, 2018

Thank you for ten years and nine seasons, Jessica. You did good work out there in the world.

Boob(s On Your) Tube: “The Fosters” Continues to Prove Two Bottoms Can Make a Marriage Work

Welcome back to Boob(s On Your) Tube. I told you to watch Jane the Virgin, and I was right, wasn’t I? So right! Rosario Dawson made Petra gay! I also told you to watch Everything Sucks, which came out on Netflix today and you should do that also. Riese says it’s her new favorite show. (If you’re a ’90s kids you’re gonna love it.) I’ll have a review of the full first season for you on Monday.

This week Riese published a gentle guide for watching The L Word for the first time, and a review of The Girlfriend Experience. Carmen recapped another stunning episode of Black Lightning. Natalie wrote a love poem about Imposters. And I had a lot of thoughts and feelings about Lena Waithe finally showing up in the Ready Player One trailers.

Here’s what else.

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The Fosters 515: “Mother’s Day”

Written by Carmen

Stef’s talking to about her therapist about stress and also about Jenna and Tess. Her therapist picks up almost right away what’s at the root of Stef’s newest onset with anxiety; it’s uprooting old trauma about her own coming out, her history with Mike, and her parents. When she came out, she felt ashamed. Which, as her therapist points out, is different from feeling guilty. Guilt is the feeling of doing something wrong. Shame is the feeling of being something wrong. It’s a self-assault. That’s a hard, dark, resonant gay truth if I’ve ever heard one. That was first moment I cried this episode, but most certainly not the last.

Stef’s mom, Sharon, has come into town because it’s Mother’s Day and she’s ready to celebrate with her daughters and grandkids. She also catches back up with Tess while she’s there. Sharon’s delighted to find out Tess’ maybe a lesbian, and invites her out to a gay bar. The look of pure horror on Stef’s face! I don’t mean to find such joy in her mortification, but I am only human.

Mariana has also figured out that Tess is maybe gay, and in typical precocious Mariana fashion almost outs Tess to her son. But, Tess nips that in the bud immediately (she was actually pretty cruel about it, but since I am always on Team “never out someone against their will”, I am going to give her a pass). The situation allows Mariana to fit in this hilarious zinger though; she tells Lena that she would never “let my wife go to a gay bar with her first love, who’s in an exploring kind of mood”. I snorted.

The gay bar in question is hot, the music jams, and Sharon hooks Tess up with a cute woman to dance with. Anyway, Stef’s upset because Sharon is being supportive of Tess’ late-in-life coming out in ways that she never was with her own daughter.

Later, Sharon sees Stef taking her anti-anxiety meds, and they have an awful, raw, truth-bearing fight. The kind of fight that you have with your family when you can’t sweep it under the rug anymore. It’s painful, but there’s love, so it’s also healing. Stef begins having a panic attack right there in front of her mom, which I’m pretty sure is her worst fear. But, Sharon steps up to the plate and guides her through it. She tells Stef that her panic attacks are hereditary. Sharon started having them when she was about the age Stef is now. If Stef ever needs someone to talk to who understands, she’s there.

Oh! Remember when Callie and Ximena kissed in a church basement like two episodes ago? Because we here on the Autostraddle TV Team surely haven’t forgotten. This week, Ximena gave Callie a new necklace, which takes Callie on an emotional journey about mourning her mother’s death and saying goodbye. In the end, she replace’s her mother’s locket with Ximena’s necklace and smiles to herself. I’m very interested to see what builds for those two from here.

Jesús’ got a new learning aide, who’s also an attractive woman. His friends are making gross comments of her body. Jesús ups the ante on the verbal harassment by commenting that he’d focus better if “she sat on my face”. Mariana overhears him, is outraged, and tells Lena.

Jesús tries to excuse it away as “Guy Talk”. Lena’s furious, which leads to an excellent conversation with Stef and Sharon about raising feminist children, and explicitly raising feminist sons. This all ends with Jesús reading this speech as an apology to his moms at Mother’s Day Brunch, which I’m going to quote in its entirety, because honestly I cannot think of a better way to end this recap:

So, my moms saved me and my sister from more nights of despair. They gave us the one thing that we dreamed of, but didn’t dare actually hope for: Family. They made us feel safe, and for the first time in our young lives, loved. So loved. They made us feel like we worth something— like we mattered— like someone in the world wanted us. And I know that there’s nothing that I can ever give back to them that can equal what they’ve given to me; but I want my two strong, beautiful, brilliant moms to know that they don’t have to hope that I’ll be the man that they raised me to be. Because that’s the man I want to be. And I will always do my best to never let them down.

You are home with me. You’re right where you belong.

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Legends of Tomorrow 310: “Daddy Darhkest”

Written by Valerie Anne

Legends of Tomorrow is officially back from hiatus, temporarily taking over Supergirl’s slot, and kicked off the back half of season three with plenty of badassery, a healthy balance of darkness and humor, and so. many. queers.

This episode saw the return of Constantine, who I feel indebted to because he plucked Sara Lance from her refrigerator with a nifty resurrection spell a few years ago. Constantine is basically like if Jack Harkness and Doctor Who had an exorcism-performing son, and he’s bisexual af, not unlike our fair Captain Lance. He hits on Leo (whose character and actor are both gay) and Amaya (who is also played by a queer person) in one fell swoop within minutes of arriving on the Waverider.

Sara and Constantine have a playful banter that I appreciate, and that helps me root them a bit when they eventually have a “shag” later to get some angst out of their systems while on a mission with Leo. (Also, the three queer characters went on a dangerous mission and all survived and the story was still great!)

But we’re not here to talk about them, we’re here to talk about Sara Lance and Ava Sharpe. Because in a beautiful turn of events, the chemistry we’ve been seeing on screen, the subtext we’ve been calling out to each other…it was called out ON THE SHOW. The first person on the AvaLance ship is Gideon, their literal ship, who teases Sara for calling Agent Sharpe “Ava” when she calls in. Next on the ship is Leo, who points out that Ava called Sara just to call her, none of the information she recounted actually warranted a hologram call. And at one point, Sara makes tough-as-nails Agent Ava Sharpe GIGGLE. Head down, hand-in-hair, full blush, GIGGLE.

Sara brushes Leo off, saying that Ava is the kind of girl you take home to your parents, but she’s the kind of girl you take to an exorcism. Which is a) hilarious b) relatable c) proof that Sara has considered it and is doing my favorite thing to do which is convince myself something could never work before I even try because if I don’t try I can’t get hurt.

Anyway, after the bi buds Constantine and Sara have a little romp in the hay, after Sara faces demons literal and figurative to save the day, and after Leo says goodbye so he can propose to his boyfriend, Sara decides to call Ava. Gideon teases her again, but Sara just calls her cheeky and ignores her. The hologram call proceeds to be the cutest thing – Sara loses her chill for half a second and tries to low-key ask Ava on a date, etc – until Ava interrupts and says Rip is missing and kills the mood.

It seems like they’re really going there, that this slow burn is going to play off, and that Sara’s settled down relationship we were promised might just be a lady after all. I’ll be giving you little updates here on Boob(s on Your) Tube as necessary, but I’m also planning to write a thesis on Sara Lance review of the season when it’s over.

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Quick Hits

Counterpart Episode 104: “Hide and Seek”

Starz’s Counterpart is a moody and twisty sci-fi thriller starring J.K. Simmons as Howard Silk, a cog in a United Nations office machine in Berlin. He’s pretty complacent regarding life in general, which includes his work, but then his wife is injured in a car accident and shortly hereafter he’s made aware that his agency is a crossing point to a parallel universe that diverged from his own during the Cold War. Baldwin is a lesbian from the other side who has lots of complicated feelings and is also a highly esteemed assassin — it’d been made relatively clear that Baldwin was gay from the jump, but this week actual sex happened, so it is my duty to inform you about this program. — Riese Bernard 

Star Trek: Discovery Episode 115: “Take My Hand”

I was going to a quick Boobs Tube write-up about how Michelle Yeoh’s Captain Philippa Georgiou had a threesome in the Disco finale, making her canonically bisexual, but I was 2,400 words into it when the Boobs Tube deadline hit today so I’m going to have to work that into a standalone article for next week. The good news is: BISEXUAL PHILIPPA and also WOMEN OVER 50 HAVING HOT SEX ON TEEVEE. But it’s a more complicated than that because this show did bury one gay already this season and kinda buried another one in the finale. The conversation deserves a little nuance, is what I am saying, so look for that next week. — Heather Hogan

Boob(s On Your) Tube: “9-1-1” Reveals Its Lesbian Character JUST AS WE PREDICTED WITH OUR SUPREME TV GAYDAR

Did you do it? Did you make it through the second season of One Day at a Time? Carmen reviewed it and also interviewed her mama about it! Carmen also recapped episode 103 of Black Lightning, in which we meet Grace Choi! Valerie recapped another very lady-centric episode of Supergirl. And I had a few feelings about Grace and Frankie. Here’s what else happened on teevee this week.

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Lucifer 313: “Til Death Do Us Part”

Written by Valerie Anne

I would like to start by saying that I love Lucifer. It’s funny and clever and it makes me happy. That said, there are some things left to be desired when it comes to queer content. Lucifer and Maze are both sexually fluid, which is awesome, but they also are the only two characters depicted this way, and are also the only two that come from hell. I don’t think the writers are trying to say anything, I think it was just overlooked; I think their intention was that beings from hell are not held back by societal expectations and feel free to do what (and who) they please. But as time goes on, most of the times Lucifer is with another man it’s during an orgy, and most of the times Maze is lesbianing with someone, it’s part of some devious plot. So while on its own, this episode was fun, I have Concerns.

Maze’s storyline was her sudden and newfound attraction to Charlotte. Maze is intrigued by a new vibe she’s getting from the now-fully-human Charlotte.

Maze licks her lips and tells Charlotte she’ll be back for her after she does a little bounty hunting.

Later, Charlotte is on a date with a man, and Maze crashes, calling Charlotte sexy and saying that she’d be down for a threesome if Charlotte is. It feels a little trite, but also I love the way that Maze was confident and casual about the offer, not caring if the man was in or out, but very clear that she wanted Charlotte’s consent.

Charlotte needs to think about it, and when Maze approaches her to ask if she’s okay, Charlotte says she’s “been through hell” lately. She thinks she’s being coy about her stint in literal hell, not knowing that Maze is FROM literal hell. Realization hits Maze and she takes a step back from Charlotte, the lusty gleam in her eye fading. She understands now why Charlotte smelled different to her, why she was suddenly so attracted. To Maze, Charlotte smelled like pain. Which, up until very recently, consumed Maze’s whole life. But that’s a life she doesn’t want to go back to.

And that’s all she wrote. On the one hand, we have a plotline that trotted dangerously close to some bisexual tropes. On the other, despite Maze being a literal demon, it didn’t seem to demonize her attraction to Charlotte.

Also, despite how really freaking cute it was, I couldn’t help but wonder why the A plot was of Lucifer pretending to be married to Cain, and they end up doing sweet faux relationship stuff and even kissing. Also why was this all in one episode? Do we get one Big Gay Episode? Or is this a sign of Big Gay Things to Come? I really hope it’s the latter.

I will say, I love the metaphor Maze’s last interaction with Charlotte gave us. So many of us have fallen into the trap of being drawn to someone with scars that match our own only to realize that shared pain isn’t enough to maintain a relationship.

I’m glad the show hasn’t forgotten that Maze is bisexual, but I do wish they would let her date a woman so we could see more of the softer side of our favorite hellion in a romantic way, similar to how we’ve started to see her with her gal pals. I hope to be able to report that very fact back to you soon.

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The Fosters 513: “Line in the Sand”

Written by Carmen

Do you know what we haven’t had in awhile? A really good, fun, kickass Lena Adams Foster episode.

It’s rare to get a mom-centric episode of this brood in general (this week marks an even rarer back-to-back streak), but when we do talk about the moms for an extended storyline, Stef is most often in focus. Teri Polo’s care with the development of Stef Foster over these last five season is acclaim-worthy, from her current struggles with an anxiety disorder, to her previous battle with cancer, her estranged relationship with her dad. She’s handled it all with aplomb. But, Sherri Saum’s performance Lena Adams-Foster is just as carefully drawn, even if not always in the spotlight.

So anyway, today is Lena’s first official day as Principal, and whew boy it is a long one. Her morning starts with the entire Foster-Adams clan wishing her good luck over breakfast, like the multiracial gay Brady Bunch I depend on them to be. Lena’s decided to wait until next fall to hire a Vice-Principal replacement, so she will be pulling double duty for the rest of the semester. She’s also still shadowing Jesus in class as his learning aide! Wonder Woman, reporting for duty.

Lena also has to deal with a sick spouse because Stef caught the flu from Jude. When she gets home, Stef begs her babysit Hot Mess Jenna during her dinner/drinks hang with Tess, the next door neighbor. Tess’ husband has figured out that something’s afoot (Here’s a hint dude: She’s just not that into you). Stef’s too sick to go, but also doesn’t want to be an accomplice whatever home wrecking plans Jenna has concocted in her head.

Oh man, does Jenna lay it on thick. Lena tries to steer their dinner conversation towards Tess’ husband, Jenna counters by talking about the wife who cheated on her with a hot 20something back in the first or second season, and so on. Here’s the thing, Tess is very into it! She’s flirting right back. It’s all uncomfortable for Lena, but luckily — or not so luckily— she gets pulled away to another crisis.

(Yes, this is all still the same day. My poor girl, she needs a hot tea and a comfy blanket, STAT!)

Unrelated to this recap, Brandon has agreed to pull a senior prank for his girlfriend who has cancer. That involves all of the Adams-Fosters kids — minus Judicorn, who would never — and their friends covering their school with sand and beach toys and inflatable palm trees. Lena’s called in to investigate because the kids forgot about the silent alarm. She’s furious!

In the greatest move of all, Lena decides to lean into the prank. The next morning, she arrives to school in a sexy black one piece, sunglasses, and a sarong hung low on her hips, mortifying her children and cementing herself as the “Cool Principal”. Win-Win! Plus, we get to see Sherri Saum in a bathing suit. TRIPLE WIN! She tells her kids that they have until the end of the day to clean up all the sand in the hallway, or she is turning their bedrooms into a beach next. And then she saunters away like the bad mama-jama that she is!

Important Updates: Stef has made an appointment with a therapist to begin talking about her panics, but unfortunately Jude’s flu kept her away. She also confronted Tess about her undercover gay feelings, but Tess isn’t ready to deal with it yet. Ximena won her stay of deportation hearing!!!!!! She can stay in the country without fear of ICE until her trial. Her smile as she took her victory march out of the church warmed me down to my toes. She’ll be staying with the Adams-Fosters clan along with Poppy (because, OF COURSE) until her final court case. The disgruntled ICE agent has taken to following Callie now, so be on the lookout for that!

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Quick Hits

The Young and the Restless: After a long hiatus, the queer storyline between Mariah and Tessa has resumed on The Young and the Restless. The road to romance won’t be easy, though: in a moment of desperation, Tessa stole Mariah’s journal and used her words to craft a new song. The fallout over Tessa’s plagiarism included losing her record deal, her relationship with Mariah’s brother and whatever was left of her friendship with Mariah. But fate’s forced the pair together and they’re slowly starting to put their friendship back together. Oh, and bonus: for their work on this storyline, both Cait Fairbanks and Camryn Grimes have received pre-nominations for Daytime Emmys. — Natalie

Coronation Street: Over on Coronation Street, after burying her friend (literally) and getting buried by her soulmate (figuratively), Rana (Bhavna Limbachia) finally confesses to her husband, Zeedan (Qasim Akhtar), that she’s fallen in love with someone else. She doesn’t confess who the someone else was but, after Zeedan threatens to beat up anyone he suspects, Kate (Faye Brookes) reveals that it was her, much to Rana’s dismay. Their affair behind them, Kate tries to move on by agreeing to a date with Sophie while Rana clings to what’s left of her marriage. Suffice to say, one of them is more successful than the other. — Natalie

grown-ish: Nomi’s storyline took a backseat on this week’s episode of grown-ish but we still got a glimpse of our girl — still reeling over her break-up with Dave — as part of Zoey’s storyline. Frustrated that Zoey’s been so consumed with her relationship to be a friend to Nomi when she needed it most, Nomi lets Zoey have it. But later, when the shoe’s on the other foot and Zoey’s in her room crying over a break up, Nomi’s there for her, comforting her and making her smile through the heartache, as a best friend should. — Natalie

9-1-1: Riese called it: back in December, she put 9-1-1 on her list of “shows that don’t definitely have queer women TV characters but also kinda do or maybe should,” and this week, the queer finally showed up. Turns out, Henrietta “Hen” Wilson (Aisha Hinds), the show’s female firefighter/paramedic, is a lesbian…a married lesbian with a kid, no less; the specifics of it, though, are a bit more complicated (this is a Ryan Murphy show, afterall).

Hen and her wife, Karen (Tracie Thoms), have a son, Denny, but his biological mother is actually Hen’s ex, Eva (Abby Brammell) who is currently a guest of the Palmar Women’s Correctional Facility. Eva invites Hen to visit her—t’s the first time Hen’s heard from Eva in over a year—in hopes of convincing her to testify at her upcoming parole hearing. Hen’s inclined to do it but Karen is reluctant to invite her wife’s first great love back into their lives. — Natalie

The Good Place: The Good Place aired its season two finale last night. A lot of things happened. Including this with Eleanor and Tahani.

Whatever, no reason. — Heather

Boob(s On Your) Tube: “Grown-ish” Goes After Internalized Biphobia

Welcome back to Boob(s On Your) Tube! Happy One Day at a Time Season Two Day!

Did you catch this week’s extra woman-powered Supergirl? Valerie Anne sure did! Carmen, I dare say, has still not recovered from this week’s Black Lightning. (Nor, frankly, have I; and probably you haven’t you either.) Also a couple of lesbians showed up on The End of the F***ing World and Riese immediately demanded a spin-off.

One thing I forgot to mention last week is: In an effort to bring the very best queer and feminist TV writing to you in 2018 we’re freeing up some of our TV team’s time by only putting gay things in Boobs Tube. Arizona, for example, was MIA basically on this week’s Grey’s Anatomy so there’s no Grey’s in here. (Also that Arizona standalone episode rumor was a lie!) Annalise wasn’t doing gay stuff on HTGAWM this week (unless you count her toxic relationship with Bonnie as gay stuff) (which I kind of do, to be honest) so that’s not in here either. Don’t worry, we’ll still be following and covering these queer characters who are definitely still queer even if they’re not having sex with other women on-screen; we just don’t want to spend so much time covering the not-queer stuff that other queer and feminist TV doesn’t get our full attention.

In addition to next week’s regular recaps, Carmen’s coming at you with a ODAAT review, I’ve got a Grace and Frankie Season Four piece on the way, and who knows what other gay miracles the modern television landscape holds.

Here’s this week!

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grown-ish 105: “C.R.E.A.M. (Cash Rules Everything Around Me)”

Written by Natalie

This week’s grown-ish picks up in the place that seemed inevitable last week: Nomi’s broken up with Dave, the previously unnamed bisexual guy she met at the bar. She’s still in her feelings about it, though, so she goes to Zoey’s room to vent and get some advice. Unfortunately, Zoey’s out, so Nomi’s left to talk to Ana, whose “What Would Bristol Palin Do?” t-shirt should be enough of a signal that this is not going to go well. But Nomi’s desperate, so she persists.

Nomi explains that she had to break up with Dave because, after he came out to everyone as bisexual, the way that she looked at him changed. Now, every interaction she witnesses between him and another guy seems fraught, even if Dave had done nothing to really provoke that reaction. When Nomi looks to Ana for some comfort or advice, she’s met with a blank stare; Ana couldn’t even be bothered to listen.

Still desperate for some perspective, she turns to Aaron…which, I mean, our girl is not making good choices right now. When she explains that she’s broken up with Dave, the biphobia just pours out of Aaron — “Oh! ‘Cause he’s gay?” —and it even makes Nomi, who’s dealing with her own internalized biphobia, wince. She tries to explain the spectrum of sexuality to Aaron, but he refuses to accept that male bisexuality is a thing. Aaron’s ignorance seems timely, as young, queer people of color continue to grapple with revolutionaries, who, like Aaron, call themselves woke, while sleeping on the discrimination that QTPOC face.

Finally, Nomi takes her case for breaking up with Dave to the man himself. Again, this is not a good idea! As a general rule, you should only have the “this is why I broke up with you” conversation with people that explicitly ask for it! But Nomi needs closure. Unsurprisingly, Dave offers her none.

For a while, he just sits there, listening, as Nomi processes her biphobia out loud. Two guys sleeping in the same bed together is weird, she says, and two guys kissing each other is not hot. Nomi concedes that she’s a hypocrite and says, “I just feel like if you’re into guys, too, then how can I ever be enough for you?”

Then, Dave responds with an epic read: “That’s not about me being bisexual. That’s about you being insecure.” Dave’s right. He’s absolutely right. And the look on Nomi’s face as he picks up his stuff and walks away suggest she knows that too.

It’s easy to look at Nomi and the confidence she exudes and forget who she really is. The impulse to take her face value, to believe in the certainty with which she advises Zoey to embrace her sexual liberation, or to accept the cavalier way which she careens from one person to the next, is unfair. Her confidence and certainty are every bit as fake as the code-switching that Jaz and Sky do. Nomi is not who she seems. Whatever this show has shown us about her, Nomi Segal is still in the closet.

The closet can drive you to a lot of unenviable places — Nomi’s internalized biophobia and her homophobia is a product of that — but, as a viewer, it’s still hard to hear, especially from a queer character. For now, I just hope that Nomi grows to understand and accept herself more and that grown-ish will show us how she grows through that process.

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The Fosters 512: “#IWasMadeInAmerica”

Written by Carmen

Stef’s birthday is this weekend, and her first love/ next door neighbor Tess wants to celebrate. Stef tells her that they usually have a backyard party with their gay friends (specifically Jenna, long term The Fosters fans will remember her as a perennial source of hot mess). Tess is still interested in coming over, with her husband, because she is for sure two steps away from a late-in-life come out and doesn’t know how to deal with it yet.

The night arrives and Jenna had every woman in attendance bring a single friend, because OF COURSE SHE DID. But then, even in a party with so many queer women it could double as the population of Portland, Jenna zeroes in on Tess — the supposedly “still straight”, married neighbor, and Stef’s first love — to flirt shamelessly with. Stef tells Jenna that Tess is married, and their mutual history, and Jenna still won’t be deterred! She is nothing if not always on brand.

Speaking of Stef’s troubles, we have to address her growing panic attacks. Mike first mentioned in the winter premiere that she’s gone back to holding her breath for long periods of time, a habit he hasn’t seen from her since they were married. Then she started obsessively cleaning, which Lena pointed out to her. And finally Brandon, in a rare moment of actually being a decent human being, offers to play the piano for Stef while she lays down on the couch to relax, the way they used to when he was a little boy.

Stef is overwhelmed and unsure, it’s been so long since she’s been allowed time to just bring her walls down. The swoop shot on Teri Polo on the couch, as the natural light washes her face, and a single tear falling, is simply striking. Polo is putting her all in this role right now.

Meanwhile, Lena saved Anchor Beach from going private! But the board still elected to keep asshole Drew as the principal, instead of giving Lena the rightful role she’s earned by now. So with the help of the rest of the teachers on staff, Lena stages a coup with the board. She’s instated as principal and Drew gets fired. Nothing but respect for my President.

Ximena and Callie have been working together on a protest at the local college speech of Shiloh McCullen, an anti-immigration right wing pundit. They hope that they can bring more attention to Ximena’s ongoing case. The day of the protest, McCullen is using her speech to rattle off inaccurate statistics about the dangers and violent cost of immigration in the United States.

Callie gets up to speak. She argues facts. DACA recipients are required to have no criminal record, out of 800,000 DACA recipients in the United States, less than 1% have lost their permits due to criminal activity. With eyes and cameras on her, Callie goes on to talk about Ximena. Poppy and Mariana watch with wide eyes, Mariana with her phone ready to record, as the audience starts to boo. Callie keeps going, she takes a deep breath and asks her question.

The music swells, and you see all of the protestors from Callie’s row stand silently and unveil the posters she made — each with a different picture of a DACA recipient’s face painted over the American red, white and blue. They are Girl Scouts, and high graduates, some of them are sitting on Santa’s lap. They are us. The message couldn’t be more emotional or pitch perfect — but Callie brings it right on home: “What is an American?”

The boos get louder, but the protestors will not move. Mariana records every move as they turn, facing all of the television cameras in unison. Being an American is about more than birthright. We know it, 87% of American citizens support the DACA program. As quiet as it’s kept, those in the loud minority who continue to oppose DACA know it too. That’s what exactly scares them. We cannot let their fear govern what makes this country great.

The protest makes The Huffington Post. With Callie’s help, Ximena’s case has broken into the national news cycle. The girls freak out and then XIMENA KISSES CALLIE RIGHT ON THE LIPS!!! So…. Yeah. Wow. That happened.

The episode ends with Stef and Lena in bed, late in the night. Lena is fast asleep, but Stef’s eyes are wide. She wakes her wife, scared. She can’t breath. There’s a heaviness, it’s on her chest, and she can’t get past it. She doesn’t know what to do, and she has no other choice anymore but to ask for help. She’s crying and Lena asks how she can help.

Stef tells her, “Just hold me”. And Lena comes in tight, she wraps her body against her wife and strokes her hair, whispering that it will be OK, while Stef cries— finally, really cries.

That’s where we leave them, holding each other through the storm.

Boob(s On Your) Tube: The TV Gays Are Out In Full Force in 2018

Welcome back to Boob(s On Your) Tube! It’s already been a busy year for our TV team; we’re working around the database Riese built last year of every lesbian and bisexual TV character ever with a new plan to bring you the best and most comprehensive TV coverage on the great wide queer internet. And we’re off to a good start! Carmen’s recapping the Black Lightning, Valerie Anne’s back on that Supergirl beat, Kayla’s #GayKarolinaWatch2017 paid off big time on Marvel’s Runaways, Natalie reviewed the pilot of grown-ish, Riese got us hyped about Vida and rounded up all the queer tidbits from TCA, and we published a truly beloved Style Thief that caused us absolutely no grief whatsoever!

If you haven’t yet checked out Riese’s 2017 year-end TV round-up, do that now; it’s a masterwork.

Here’s what else is going on!

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Fresh Off the Boat 412: “Liar Liar”

Written by Heather Hogan

I continue to be surprised and delighted by how Fresh Off The Boat is handling Nicole’s storyline. Her coming out episode was one of my favorite queer TV episodes of the entire year in 2017, but the show hasn’t stopped there. “Liar Liar” finds her finally ready to ask her crush out on a date. When she finally works up the nerve, Eddie agrees to go along with her for their first hangout and is horrified when she besmirches Jim Carrey — it’s 1997; she and Eddie have seen Ace Ventura 20 times and are quoting it nonstop to each other — disavows Third Eye Blind and pretends to speak French.

He convinces Nicole she has to be herself, so they go to the coffee shop and Nicole confesses that she thinks Jim Carey is hilarious, has seen Third Eye Blind in concert a lot, and is super faking being bilingual.

Nicole’s gal pal says she could have gotten over the low comedy thing and the pedestrian taste in music but she just cannot be with a girl who only speaks one language. It’s such a great and unexpected punchline. I’ve said it before but: I was Nicole’s age in 1997 and watching a teenager just come out on that timeline, be supported by her friends and family, and be rejected for not speaking French is so ridiculous and wonderful it’s time-machine healing my closeted baby gay heart.

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grown-ish 104: “Starboy”

Written by Natalie

We’re four episodes into the inaugural season of grown-ish (which earned an early renewal this week) and, in every episode, Nomi, the show’s bisexual character, hooks up with a different person. I’m less bothered by how the depiction skirts close to a tired trope about bisexuals—that is, bisexuals as inherently promiscuous—than I am about the fact that all the people that Nomi hooks up with are nameless. Don’t get me wrong: the “bisexuals are promiscuous” trope can be problematic but the effort to avoid that stereotype forces bisexuals to be almost prudish.

The namelessness, though? That bugs me. Nomi’s been with five people—the girl in the bathroom, Jason Derulo’s cousin, the girl that works at Chipotle and, in this episode, the girl from the bar and the dude from the bar—and not a single name is given. And while I’ve watched enough TV to know that when grown-ish finally does give one of Nomi’s hook-ups a name, it’ll be because she’s serious about that person and, inevitably, it’ll propel her towards coming out to her family, the namelessness still feels a bit like erasure. But let’s back up…

In “Starboy,” Nomi’s out at the local sports bar on a date with the aforementioned nameless girl from the bar (GFTB) and when she inquires about the bar’s cheapest beer offering (ah, college!), the aforementioned dude (DFTB) interjects. He offers to buy Nomi a drink, while flashing a flirty smile, and she politely declines, letting him know that she’s on a date. To make up for the misunderstanding, he offers to buy them both a drink and, as Nomi looks ready to accept, her date interjects that they’re not looking for a threesome. DFTB assures her that that’s not what he meant but

GFTB isn’t having it and suggests he go elsewhere.

“I just hate straight guys with the whole lesbian-fantasy thing. It’s so cliché,” GFTB explains. Once she learns that Nomi’s bisexual, GFTB starts to make her exit. She is not interested in being Nomi’s experiment — a line that’s so familiar, it makes me shutter — and invites Nomi to call her when she’s done with her “bi phase.”

Understandably indignant, Nomi yells across the crowded bar, “You know, it’s L-G-B-T-Q! Respect the letter, bitch!” At our next Bisexual club meeting, I’m suggesting that as our new slogan.

But, as it turns out, Nomi doesn’t respect the letter nearly as much she claims. Later, she returns to the sports bar accompanied by DFTB. He’s charming and caring and wins over Nomi’s friends by plying them free food. When GFTB spots Nomi and the DFTB from across the room, she flips them the bird and Nomi returns the gesture, before explaining the situation to her friends.

not a phase for nomi, not a phase for dave. #grownish pic.twitter.com/A3OPOeuFV5

— grown-ish (@grownish) January 18, 2018

You could almost hear the record scratch. One second, when talking about Nomi’s bisexuality, everyone’s like, “respect the letter, bitch,” but when confronted with male bisexuality, those same people, including Nomi, are like, “uh, maybe not.” While I get what the show was going for—there is, undoubtedly, a double standard for bisexual men, compared to bisexual women—having Nomi express that biphobia was jarring to say the least.

Fingers crossed that this isn’t the last we’ve heard of Nomi’s newly revealed internalized biphobia because, otherwise, grown-ish isn’t nearly as progressive in showcasing sexuality as it seems to think it is.

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The Fosters 510: “Take Me To Church”

Written by Carmen

The Fosters picked up their new season directly from their summer cliffhanger, with Callie and AJ helping Ximena take sanctuary in a local church. They ran into that church with ICE right on their heels and now they are safe, if only for the moment. Callie gets back on the phone with Stef, and Ximena calls her attorney. They know that as long as they are in the church, Ximena is safe, but they’re unsure of what happens next.

Stef calls Lena to get Poppy and Mariana. If you need a refresher, Poppy was born in the United States, but her parents and sister, Ximena, are undocumented immigrants. Ximena had DACA (Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals) status, colloquially she’d be known as a “Dreamer” (as in the “Dream Act”, a bill that would protect undocumented children who were brought into this country, but is currently being held hostage in congress because America is often a heartless place). Ximena let her DACA status lapse because she was afraid that with the increased ICE raids happening in immigrant communities under the Trump Administration, she would be tipping agents off to her family’s new address.
Lena brings Poppy to her home just in time to see her parents get arrested.

They won’t tell her which deportation center they are taking them to. Poppy will have to go into foster care. Meanwhile, Ximena learns from her attorney that by letting her DACA status lapse, she forewent her protected status. He will keep working her case, but the best thing that they can do is increase public awareness and put pressure on ICE. So, Callie turns on her phone and puts her video skills to good use on Facebook Live. By the next morning, the church is surrounded by supporters and activists. ICE leaves, but Ximena is far from safe. She has to stay inside the church for the foreseeable future. At least Poppy will be staying with the Fosters (a twist that was perhaps predictable, but no less heartwarming) until the sisters can be reunited.

The Fosters season five premiere was perhaps one of my favorite hours of television that the show has put forth. No one is better at humanizing political issues, and they are putting all of their skills to use with Ximena and Poppy’s storyline. As I’m typing this, we are merely hours away from a possibly government shutdown, largely due to arguments over the Dream Act and DACA immigrants. Last week, the racist president occupying the White House referred to countries like where Ximena and Poppy are from, countries like where my family is from, as “shit-holes”. It’s overwhelming to wrap your head around. But in the middle of the very real storm, there is this story. There is a face that you can name and see and love and learn from. When they rise to the occasion, nothing tops this show. I’ll be sad to say goodbye when they take their final bow this summer.

In the middle of these high stakes, there’s some silly teen antics incredibly relevant to our interests. Callie and AJ are feeling tense around each other, because AJ still has feelings for Callie and Callie still isn’t over Aaron, blah-blah. When Callie gets snuggled into sleeping bags on the church basement with Ximena, both girls having discarded their prom dresses for donation t-shirts and sweats, this happens:

Ximena: So, you and AJ have history or what?
Callie: Yeah, I never told you that?
Ximena: hmmhmm…. I mean, he’s hot.
Callie: Yeah… Are you interested?
Ximena: (Chuckling) No. I don’t date boys.
Ximena: I’m gay. I never told you that?
Callie: Ummm, NO. (Laughs) I mean, it doesn’t matter or anything.
Ximena: Good

(Both girls laugh together)

Ximena: I can’t believe I just came out to you in a church. I hope I don’t get struck by lightning.
Callie: Yeeeeeeeeeeaaaaah [moves her sleeping bag in the other direction… you know, in case of lightning]

There you have it, folks! Ximena officially bats for #TeamGay. A lesbian, undocumented, radical, Chicana, feminist, activist, roller derby queen. I’m in love.

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Madam Secretary 412: “Sound & Fury”

This isn’t an official write up, but we felt it was important you know that Kat Sandoval looked like this on Sunday:

😍 #MadamSecretary pic.twitter.com/n7QjwHBXtp

— Sara's village (@Sramirezvillage) January 15, 2018

https://twitter.com/SaraRamirez/status/953302468963831814

You’re welcome.

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Grey’s Anatomy 1409: “1-800-799-7233”

Written by Carmen

Jo Wilson is a Freaking Warrior Queen. It’s a nickname that she’s called herself before, but to be completely honest with you— I have never really bought it. I was wrong. She is made of steel.

When we pick up in the Winter Premiere, Jo is still standing face-to-face with Paul Stadler, her abusive first husband. She’s going pale, trying to catch her breath, while he goes on and on about “how good she looks”, and “it seems like she got the help she needed.” He tries to introduce her to his new fiancé, Jenny. Every look of his dead, cold eyes sends chills up my spine. He leans in close, he uses his right hand to play with his chin slowly, everything about him oozes manipulation and control. It’s all played small, little breath notices, almost as if you have to look in between the lines to see it— and that makes absolutely all the more terrifying.

Every part of my body is SCREAMING just looking at him, but Jo stays calm. She walks away. She goes outside to have a quick, panicked, cry of fear and desperation. And then she gathers herself together, goes back in, and confronts her abuser.

She’s resolute. She wants to be divorced, and that means that she has to get those papers signed. Alex wants to be there for her through this, but everyone knows that he’s too emotionally volatile for this kind of thing. Meredith promises him that Jo will never be alone. The ladies got this one.

Meredith makes good on her word, never leaving Jo’s side through the whole day. When they sign the papers, Jo shaking and flinching but never backing down, Meredith is there. When Jo confronts Paul, and tells him, “You don’t deserve anything good. You are a monster,” Meredith is there. When Jo realizes that it’s not enough to be free if it means leaving another woman in peril, that she has to talk to Jenny, that she must go back into the gates of hell, guns blazing — Meredith is there. She wraps Arizona into the plan and together they distract Paul long enough for Jo to have time alone with his fiancé, giving her Jo’s phone number just in case.

Later, when Paul angrily confronts Jo over the clandestine meeting — the simmering water that has churning behind his eyes all day, threatening to boil over, Meredith is there. She fakes calling security until he leaves.
Sisterhood, it’s the most powerful thing.

Another awesome, powerful thing? Cyber hackers! Grey Sloan Memorial is still being held hostage by cyber hackers for ransom. Luckily, Miranda Bailey has a secret card up her sleeve. It turns out that new Intern Casey is a bit of a cyber hacker in his own right, he once hacked into the DMV and has been banned by federal government from ever manipulating a computer ever again. Still, his hospital needs him and he is ready to answer the call of service.
Together Intern Casey and Dr. Bailey save the day! In a moment of glee, Dr. Bailey asks Casey, “Did you really hack into the DMV? Why would you do that?”

He smiles quietly, “Because my old license referred to me as female. And the DMV where I was living wouldn’t change it. So I did.”

It was such a sweet, satisfying coming out moment. Here is Intern Casey, a self-proclaimed “Proud Trans Man”, who got to save the day. Bailey smiles her classic Bailey smile, and all is good in the world.

Post-Op Thoughts:
If you are interested in learning more about Intern Casey and Alex Blue Davis, the out trans actor who is playing him, check out this great interview.

Speaking of interviews, if you haven’t read this one from Ellen Pompeo yet, you must. There are literally no words for good it is.

The episode’s title, “1-800-799-7233”, is the National Domestic Violence Hotline. It’s marks the first time in over 300 episodes that a title has no words in the title. What a way to go.

Gay Hairplay: Top 11 Times a Girl Touched Another Girl’s Hair on TV and Film

Lesbian and bisexual gal pals caressing each other’s hair on TV and in movies has gotten a bad rap, probably because that’s what most fictional queer women have historically done instead of kissing on the mouth. But times are changing and women are actually having sex onscreen and when I was watching Marvel’s Runaways I was reminded that hairplay, when done right, can make a little gay heart hammer right out of its chest. It’s tender and flirty and intimate and it almost always betrays deep longing or leads to full-on smooching. And it turns out other people love this thing too! Staff Writers Valerie Anne, Kayla, and Carmen Phillips helped me assemble this list of the top 11 times a girl touched another girl’s hair on TV and in movies.

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Gail and Holly, Rookie Blue

This is just Gail getting herself a soft butch haircut from the girl she’s in love with before that girl sliiides right down into the bathtub to make out with her face.

Yorkie and Kelly, Black Mirror “San Junipero”

“Please make this easy for me” is one of the sexiest things I have ever heard anyone say on television, and Kelly thinks so too. She caresses Yorkie’s hair and then immediately asks her to get into her car and go home with her.

Poussey, Orange Is the New Black

Carmen Phillips: “Does it count if the fictional lesbian in question is using her hair to flirt with me? Because what other reason would there be for Poussey doing this? Poussey knew what she was doing.”

Karma and Amy, Faking It

This moment in Faking It‘s second season, after Amy and Karma got thrown from their mechanical bull and Karma pulled Amy to her feet and sweetly, gently, fondly fixed her hair — it’s the one time I thought for absolute sure that Karma wasn’t kidding around, that she felt it too. (Amy thought it even more than I did.)

Carol and Therese, Carol

Up until Waterloo, Carol hadn’t deliberately touched Therese. They shared a close and coy moment with President McKinley but on New Year’s Eve she just walked right out of the bathroom, took a swig of beer, caressed Therese’s hair, gazed at her in the mirror, and then went right ahead and untied that robe.

Billie Jean and Marilyn, Battle of the Sexes

I’ve never felt weird watching a sex scene in a crowded movie theater, but watching Marilyn cut Billie Jean’s hair made me feel like crawling out of my own skin. It was so deeply intimate and sexy and sweet and also like watching someone get born. I still get shivers when I think about it, which may also be because this scene was filmed like an ASMR video on purpose.

Karolina and Nico, Marvel’s Runaways

After getting ready with Nico — in the same mirror! —Karolina reached up to help fix her hair and was buzzing with so much gayness by then I’m surprised she didn’t explode into a shower of rainbow glitter, even with her magic bracelet.

Naomi and Emily, Skins

This is one of my all-time favorite TV moments. After pushing and pushing and pushing Emily away, Naomi woke up beside her and before she even realized what she was doing she reached out to caress Emily’s hair. And then she woke up for real and bolted out of her bedroom like her pants were on fire. (But not Skins Fire; that doesn’t even exist.)

Shane and Cherie Jaffe, The L Word

When Shane touched Cherie Jaffe’s hair and asked her how she wanted it styled, Cherie simply said, “something different.” And by different she meant: GAY. Shane never did cut her hair but they did plenty of scissoring.

Root and Shaw, Person of Interest

Look, just because someone is caressing your hair so they can reach around with their other hand and remove a brain implant from behind your ear with a razor blade doesn’t mean they’re not also caressing your hair because they love you.

Stef and Lena, The Fosters

Lena was surprised when Stef chopped off her hair, and Stef was nervous to show it to her, but she did it because she was tired of the words “dyke” and “butch” having power over her and Lena got that and thought Stef looked sexier than ever. Lena tugged her new hair, played with it sweetly, and then dragged her wife right off to bed.

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What’d I miss? Let me see those GIFs!

Pop Culture Fix: The Fosters’ Foster Children Fostering “Fosters” Spin-Off ‘Cause “Fosters” Is Ending and Other Non-Fostered Stories

Y’all, I did not remember that it was my week to do the pop culture fix! I lived my whole morning innocently unaware that today this was my burden to bear. I apologize for its late attitude.

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Lesbian & Bisexual TV Premiering This Week

Wednesday, January 3rd / 8pm — Grown-ish on Freeform. Black-ish spinoff with a bisexual woman character.

Sunday, January 7th / 10pm – The Chi on Showtime. Lena Waithe’s new show, with some lesbian guest characters. The first episode is already up on Showtime on Demand.

Sunday, January 7th / 10pm – Madam Secretary on CBS

Tuesday, January 9th / 8pm – The Fosters on Freeform.

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Pop Culture Fix Links

Speaking of The Fosters… ‘The Fosters’ Is Gonna End With 3-Episode Finale and introduce a spinoff series that features, specifically, NOT THE GAY CHARACTERS.

The network has greenlighted a three-part The Fosters finale event to air next summer, while also giving a 13-episode series order to a Fosters offshoot starring the series’ Cierra Ramirez and Maia Mitchell. Set several years in the future, it will follow the lives of their characters, Callie (Mitchell) and Mariana (Ramirez), as they embark on the next phase of their young adult lives. I hear the two may be joined by at least one more young Fosters cast member, with conversations currently underway.

In the yet-untitled spinoff series, currently in early stages of development, Callie and Mariana move out and move to a new city, Los Angeles. While living together, they take two very different paths and explore the different sides of the city — Mariana will be involved in the tech world, possibly in Silicon Beach, while Callie will continue the kind of social work she’s done.

“Both of them will be faced with the challenges of working in a cultural divide all the while pursuing their dreams that have been laid into those characters throughout The Fosters,” said Freeform’s EVP programming and development Karey Burke.

All the previous main characters, including Stef and Lena, will be turning up in guest roles.

Son, can I ask you something? Is Connie Britton aka Tami Taylor truly playing a “bougie closeted lesbian” in SMILF? ‘Cause I’ve been watching SMILF and she basically says she’s a lesbian so is that enough? Is that what we’re doing here? Look. All I know is that Jezebel said it, and what can I say to that: If You Weren’t Watching SMILF Before, Now’s the Time to Start

Lesbian Comic Marga Gomez talks to NewNowNext about stuff including how her parents found out that she was gay:

I was with my first love and we were doing a lot of young girl lesbian sex. I’m refraining myself from not getting too graphic here. My father came home and must have heard us having loud sex. He must have called my mother in the morning and they talked for the first time in five years. They were trying to blame her. So I left New York and went to California. I thought California was where the hippies were, and I wound up in San Francisco, where everybody was an artist. So being gay led me to the kind of performing I do, which was autobiographical, revelatory, and campy.

Wow whoever wrote this must have spent MONTHS on it because it’s so incredible and detailed!!!!! (it was me) In 2017, Lesbian and Bisexual TV Characters Did Pretty OK, and That’s a Pretty Big Deal

The most intriguing new LGBTQ characters of 2017

Beyond Your Faves: 6 Black Actresses Who Are Leading Woman Material 

OITNB star Samira Wiley released never seen before pictures of her wedding and we’re obsessed · PinkNews

Brooke Vincent and I have something in common, it turns out: “Brooke Vincent: I loved it when Corrie made my character a lesbian”

Jodie Foster Claims Superhero Flicks Are Destroying the Earth

The important LGBT films that are coming out in 2018 includes:

• A Fantastic Woman, about a trans woman, played by trans actress Daniela Vega, who is shut out by the family of her recently deceased partner
• Disobendience — that Orthodox Jewish lesbian love story starring Rachel McAdams and Rachel Weisz we’ve talked about before
• THE MISEDUCATION OF CAMERON POST
• Vita and Virginia: a biographical romance starring Elizabeth Debicki and Gemma Alderton explores the relationship and love affair between Vita Sackville-West and Virginia Woolf

With ‘The Chi,’ Lena Waithe Heads Home in Search of the Real Chicago 

‘Mean Girls’ and ‘Harry Potter’ are set to rule Broadway 

Barack Obama’s ‘best of 2017’ list is packed with LGBTQ artists

Just checking did you read this yet: Sarah Paulson Cover – Sarah Paulson Interview on The Post, Ryan Murphy, and Holland Taylor

Also, we’re still here for this: K-Pop Girl Group Loona Celebrates Same-Sex Love In New Video 

The 17 Most Romantic Lesbian and Bisexual TV Moments of 2017

A lot more women than usual kissed each other on our teeves this year! Some of them even did so with the lights on! But those weren’t the only swoon-y things that we watched (over and over and over again) in 2017. There were songs and bike races and hot air balloon rides and promises of forever and allusions to some of the most romantic tropes and movies of all times. These were some of the 16 most romantic lesbian and bisexual things of the year.

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Marceline sings a new song for Princess Bubblegum, Adventure Time

Heather: On the way to Marci’s house with her dad, Finn and Jake said “maybe” she has a girlfriend, and then when they showed up she was lounging around in Princess Bubblegum’s sweater from the “Stakes” mini-series. Off they went to Marceline’s solo concert where she sang her most — her only? — romantic song ever, “Slow Dance With You.” Quite a journey with PB from “I’m Just Your Problem.”

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Niska and Astrid fall in love against all odds, Humans

Valerie: “Nika and Astrid’s issues weren’t what you would expect — it wasn’t a Synth/human scandal, it wasn’t a woman/woman scandal. It was Niska running away from her feelings (which had more to do with feelings being new than anything else) and Astrid not letting her. It was a surprising happy place amid the carnage, and even though so many people — humans and Synths alike — didn’t survive the season, our lady-loving ladies miraculously did.”

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Alex and Maggie’s first morning after, Supergirl

Heather: After fighting their feelings for each other for months (and a lifetime of Alex fighting her feelings for girls), Maggie and Alex had sex for the first time and woke up the next morning dappled in sunlight, dressed in each other’s clothes, smooching contentment and disbelief. To be honest I kind of couldn’t believe it was happening either.

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Tessa and Mariah’s first kiss, The Young and the Restless

Natalie: “The racing heart, the long conversations that are never, ever long enough, the regret of any day spent apart. Mariah feels all of that, she just doesn’t feel it for Devon. It is not a small thing for Y&R to cast Mariah’s love for Tessa in the same mold as one of the show’s great supercouples, Nick and Sharon. It’s a normalizing force for a conservative audience that might not view a same-sex story that way.”

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Kat and Adena’s Before Sunrise escapades, The Bold Type

Heather: Kat and Adena are my favorite TV couple of 2017 and while they have plenty of swoon-y moments to choose from, their blanket fort escapades in the airport the night before Adena was deported were my favorite. Even the title of the episode was drawn from Richard Linklater’s Before Sunrise, one of the most romantic movies of all time. I was willing to suspends all my disbelief for this episode, including Kat and Adena having uninterrupted sex in the airport lounge, a full night of sleep in each other’s arms, and Kat not giving Adena her first class ticket when she decided to stay in NYC.

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Gail and Erica Get Married, The Last Man On Earth

Riese: Gail and Erica’s relationship was initially written off as a thing they did before realizing they weren’t the only human beings left on earth, but eventually after three seasons of other pursuits, their union revealed itself to be the truest and most honest thing either had ever known.

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Paige and Emily’s last bike race, Pretty Little Liars

Heather: This was some hardcore Paily fanservice and, let me tell you, for suffering through the last few seasons of this show, we deserved it. Bikes? Check. Musical montage? Check. Camera swirling kissing? Check. It wasn’t going to last and everyone knew it, but for a shining moment everything was right in Rosewood again.

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Odessa asks Tilda to run away with her, Into the Badlands

Valerie: “I’ve mentioned before that too often kisses between two women are cast entirely in shadow, or are a quick peck in the middle of a camera transition. But not here, not now. The camera loves them and the music swells lovingly and the light glows softly as they kiss and kiss and kiss. Meanwhile I am pressing my hands to my face so hard my eyeballs almost pop out of my head. Everything’s fine. EVERYTHING’S FINE.”

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Tig and Stephanie’s whole storyline, One Mississippi

Heather: Look, do not fall in love with a straight girl. But if you do make sure it’s your soul mate. I know, I know, Stephanie’s not straight, but she sure thought she was for a long time, even though me and you and Tig knew she was very much in love with another woman and therefore was not straight. When she finally confessed it, Tig said, “…but?” And Stephanie said, “No, but. Just … and.” And I for one have still not recovered.

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Zoë and Rasha’s first kiss, Degrassi: The Next Class

Riese: There were so many fraught elements to this union — Rasha, a Muslim Syrian refugee, was scared to come out to her host family, which included their classmate Goldie, and Zoe didn’t know if Rasha was gay or not, and they were both just generally young and nervous and insecure. When their first actual date gets so complicated it ends up ending before it begins, Rasha fears their union is doomed, telling Zoe it’s okay if she’d like to call it off, after all, Zoe is fearless and beautiful and can have any girl she wants! Zoe is like, wait, YOU ESCAPED ACTUAL WAR JUST TO BE ON “DEGRASSI THE NEXT CLASS” AND YOU’RE CALLING ME FEARLESS? Then Rasha kisses her. I didn’t want to be afraid anymore, she says, as melodic acoustic hipster music swelled and the light hits their faces just so. Young love, y’all. Sweet and against all odds and despite all closets and obstacles and fears, there we have it.

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Cosima and Delphine’s clone-saving mission, Orphan Black

Heather: Delphine sacrificed everything for Cosima, and to keep her promise to keep Cosima’s sestras safe — and the whole time everyone kept expecting her to reveal that she the ultimate bad guy. Well, not only did that turn out to be untrue, we actually got to watch her and Cosima join forces and work together to save the day. The episode also included their sexiest makeout and Cosima in this tux.

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Waverly and Nicole fall in love in a parallel dimension, Wynonna Earp

Heather: Two women falling in love in alternate universes where they’re with completely different people and don’t even know each other is what fan fiction dreams are made of. If Waverly and Nicole had had to take off their clothes to share their body heat to stay alive in this episode, it would have been the most romantic moment in all history on any space-time continuum.

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Lyria asked Eretria to be her queen, The Shannara Chronicles

Heather: In another year one or both of them would be dead, but not now! And even better, when Lyria was asking Eretria to be her queen she said they deserved a happy ending. “People like us,” she said. (Like you and like me!) They’re not together yet because Eretria has to get a handle on her darkness, but their sweet, slow kiss goodbye felt more like a pause. And it didn’t end with anyone getting shot with a stray bullet.

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Stef and Lena’s Notebook-style makeout, The Fosters

Heather: Stef and Lena have gotten married so many times now and every new time it’s better than the last. This most recent one, especially, because it started raining and all their million kids and their guests rushed inside but they just stood out in it open-mouthed kissing each other and promising forever.

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Amelia and Violet’s second kiss, Harlots

Riese: Amelia had been raised by her evangelist mother to see sex itself as evil, let alone women having sex for money, let alone falling in love with a woman who has sex for money and then kissing her on the mouth! So when Violet kissed Amelia after a gradual sexual tension build, it wasn’t surprising that Amelia immediately freaked out — which made Amelia’s return to Violet, and her eager kiss, that much sweeter.

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Nomi and Amanita get engaged, Sense 8

Sense8 was cancelled way too soon, but in the season two finale, Nomi and Amanita did get engaged! Jamie Clayton’s post-season interview with The Hollywood Reporter was almost as beautiful as the on-screen moment. “It’s just another testament to the strength of their relationship and how they’re on the same page. That’s the beauty of love. Even if you take two different roads, if you end up at the same place, that’s the most important part about love,” she said.

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Honorable Mention Even Though They’re Not Technically Gay: Grace and Frankie take a hot air balloon ride, Grace & Frankie

Riese and Erin: “When Frankie tells Grace she might be moving to Santa Fe, everything gets much gayer very quickly. Everything gays right out of control. Every word spoken is a word unspoken, and also a word that could easily precede the words “you have to stay because I am in love with you.”

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As always these are the individual opinions of our writers and editors and we’d love to hear your additions, preferably bolded and in all caps with as many exclamation points as possible!!!!

Boob(s On Your) Tube: “The Fosters” (Kind Of) Goes There With Mariana and Emma

Goodness gracious, that The Bold Type finale. Also, did you see The Carmilla Movie trailer is here? Riese is recapping American Horror Story: Cult for you; her review of the first episode is right here. Our writers weighed in on their favorite queer shows this summer in a quick roundtable. And here’s what else is happening as summer TV winds down.

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The Fosters

The MVP of The Fosters is consistently Cierra Ramirez. She can do anything. But my favorite thing is when she does comedy. For example, shouting, “MY OWN DAMN BROTHER?! THIS IS THE WORST PROM EVER!” when she sees Jesus kissing Emma who, only moments before, had been pretending to be Mariana’s girlfriend to put Logan’s girlfriend at ease because she (rightly) thinks Mariana is into him. I know I should be over girls kissing for fake reasons on TV, but unlike shows in the past that have used it to satisfy the male gaze and drum up publicity, this kiss came out of nowhere and was played for laughs, but not at the expense of queer women. Emma was just trying to be a good friend, and also she was drunk, and Mariana doesn’t think anything’s weird at all about being queer because her moms are lesbians. Also, you know I’ve been shipping Mariana and Emma since day one.

Also, honestly, Mariana deserves a good time at her own prom! She saved it from being cancelled by their supervillain principal by planning it from the ground up and executing it in the roller derby warehouse. Like in a day she throws a whole beautiful prom.

That wasn’t even the gayest thing that happened in The Fosters finale. The gayest thing that happened was Stef’s high school best friend and now-neighbor Tess admitting she was into Stef in high school, in a gay way, and wondering if maybe he marriage sucks because she’s gay. It was an inevitable confession and Stef handles it like a champ, especially considering the fact that the coming out is sandwiched between seeing her straight kid make out with her son’s ex-girlfriend and another one of her kids telling her that ICE has shown up at prom to Ximena.

The episode opens with Ximena giving an impassioned speech at an immigration rally talking about how Trump’s America is not the America she believes in, but outing herself as undocumented in the process. Stef’s idea is to arrest Ximena for something minor because she has jurisdiction over ICE, but Callie and AJ don’t wait for that to happen. While Stef is pushing back against ICE, she and AJ get in the car and go on the run with Ximena. She does let Stef know what’s happening as it happens, though, which means she’s learned something since last season’s finale. Stef tells them to go to a church and get Noah’s pastor mom to meet them there, so Ximena can declare sanctuary. It’s harrowing and heartbreaking and it aired the very same night Trump announced he was ending DACA.

Sometimes (a lot of times) The Fosters tries to do too much, but some of that too much is some of the best storytelling about current issues we have on TV. The episode ends with the ICE agents chasing Ximena, Callie, and AJ into a church, and then the three of them standing in the sanctuary with police lights flashing outside and turning the whole place red.

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Killjoys

Written by Valerie Anne

I cannot tell you how thrilled I am to finally get to write about Killjoys. For three seasons, I’ve been enjoying this fierce, funny, feminist show about a badass bounty hunter in space (Dutch) and her team (John and D’avin). The show has been shades of queer before — the bartender, Pree, is a staple in the bar that serves as a hub for the team; Delle Seyah Kendry was not shy about her affections for Dutch and Dutch hate-flirted right back. (My favorite exchange of those was when Delle Seyah said, “I snap and you come,” and Dutch quipped back, “You must be one hell of a snapper.”) but there wasn’t any real queer lady storyline to write home about…UNTIL NOW.

Okay, fast forward to Season 3, Dutch has learned that there’s a woman named Aneela who looks exactly like her running around, and she’s trying to figure out who exactly she is. She’s basically a meaner, slightly creepier version of Dutch, so when Delle Seyah finds herself face-to-face with this familiar but unfamiliar face, and that face wants to kiss her the way Delle Seyah always wanted Dutch to, she finds it hard to resist.

Maybe for Delle Seyah Kendry, it’s one part attraction, one part survival instinct, but all parts sexy and you can’t gal pal this relationship because they woke up together and very specifically talked about how great the sex was.

And even if it’s partly a power move on Kendry’s part, Aneela’s feelings are as real as her feelings get, because when she can’t find Kendry, she collapses in sadness. Gander, the grouchiest of the Hullen, shows Kendry that Aneela isn’t really as in charge as they let her thin and sends her off to get a “treatment,” he thinks he’s won. But he underestimated two things: How powerful Aneela is and how much she values the few she does care about.

So even though Aneela is taking a goo bath, Kendry’s screams cut through to the land of memories the goo transported her to, and Aneela’s connection to Delle Seyah ground her in reality. With the help of her handmaid, Brynn, and her feelings for Kendry, Aneela fully emerges from Gooville and she. is. PISSED.

Realizing her girl is in danger, she goes on a damn murder spree to find her. It’s beautiful. The women end up rescuing each other and they ask each other on the classic second date of torture and ice cream.

Aneela calls Kendry her tether, and the two start formulating a plot to end all plots.

Okay so while she was kidnapped, Kendry had been impregnated by a baby made from Aneela and D’avin’s DNA, which wasn’t what Aneela had intended (she was the one who developed the science to make it possible for Hullen to reproduce) but it doesn’t change the hungry way she looks at Delle Seyah, so it’s fine.

In the finale, Delle Seyah infiltrates Dutch’s ship, speaking of parlay, and telling Dutch something I thought was interesting: “Every proper villain is someone else’s hero. I guess she’s mine.” Delle Seyah had been almost murdered and left for dead, stripped of her power and her humanity, but Aneela gave her all of that back. Plus with bonus kisses. So Delle Seyah and Aneela work together to bring their plans to fruition and I won’t give too many details away in case you haven’t seen it yet but it’s a really great finale.

I will tell you my favorite exchange, because I think it encapsulates why my favorite Twitter nickname for them is Murder Girlfriends. At one point, amidst the chaos, Kendry sees Aneela, and before they part ways they share a mid-war/this-could-be-the-last kiss and Kendry says, “Be careful,” and Aneela responds simply: “Be brutal.”

Killjoys is set in that fun type of space world where sexuality seems fluid across the board, but it was nice have a canon queer relationship build and be pivotal to the main plot of the back half of the season, especially with a regular character who had been the most obviously into women to date (or at least into Dutch/Dutch-faced humanoids). The show overall has been just a delight every summer, with little things I love in it, like a sassy spaceship, really killer fight scenes, quips galore, a totally always-platonic friendship between a man who likes women and a woman who likes men, and of course, my favorite always, themes of found family.

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Odd Mom Out

Written by Valerie Anne

Hey, Odd Mom Out had a queer storyline last night! The main character, Jill, finds out one of her fellow moms had a lesbians-until-Labor-Day affair with another mom and that one left her husband but the other didn’t, and after Jill encourages the one mom to follow her heart, she uses a boom box app to play their spin class workout song and they get together, living happily ever after (for the rest of the night) in the beaver exhibit at the Natural History Museum