32 Excerpts From Really Special “League Of Their Own” Reviews Written By Homophobes Who’ve Had Quite Enough
The new Prime Video series “League of Their Own,” inspired by the original 1992 film “A League Of Their Own,” has been received with rapture by binge-watchers all over the world but has also been met with derision from a portion of humans who are upset about Ye Olde Lesbian Agenda. That’s right, “A League Of Their Own” actually intended to represent the league as it truly was: crawling with lesbians. As a member of the queer community and a big fan of queer history, I find this thrilling but, predictably enough, there are humans out there who feel differently and have taken their rage to the world’s top rage receptacle: internet review boards. The one-star reviews section for A League Of Their Own is a real cesspool of human intolerance: people complaining about there being Black characters at all, people complaining that racism is addressed in the story, people complaining about lesbians, the word “woke,” ladies doth protesting too much, people complaining about swear words, and people complaining about historical inaccuracies in a way that often disregards actual history and/or what was actually portrayed on the show. Also, a lot of really sharp Eagle Eyes who want to just let us know that Janis Joplin songs are from the 60s, not the 40s. Okay?
Below please witness excerpts from homophobic reviews left on the Amazon Prime Video page for of “A League Of Their Own,” ripped mercilessly out of context but mostly presented in their entirety. I have edited some of these comments for clarity, grammar and spelling, but also sometimes left errors intact for artistic reasons.
1. “Wanted baseball, got gay. Not for me.”
2. “A league of inspirational women breaking barriers or a league of sexually confused/ lesbian women?”
3. “As a woman who played baseball throughout my life I find the impression that all women who play baseball are lesbians is highly offensive.”
4. “We stomached 2 episodes. Lesbians were the theme. The left ruins everything.”
5. “Seems like it was written by nasty old men who are more interested in seeing women make out with each other rather than women in empowerment like the original movie.”
6. “The main character is a feminist who immorally sends a letter to her husband. Garbage scene, Hollywood always has to have the modern woman who “doesn’t need a man.”
7. “Knew this would not be like the old movie, BUT did not expect this to be about homosexuality and cheating on spouses.”
8. “Women in the 1940s were conservative and respectful. This series tried to make them into whores and lesbians!”
9. “There are millions of women athletes and those into all kinds of sports who are not gay. Just as all professional male dancers (i.e. ballet, contemporary…) are not gay.”
10. “I’m so damned tired of Hollywood shoving homosexuality down our throats as if 75% of all relationships are homosexual ones. Although Homosexuality is less than 1% of the world’s population, Hollywood makes everyone think that 7 out of every 10 people are either already homosexual or have the propensity to be.”
11. “…[they make the] women who were, in actual life, really fine, dedicated ballplayers look like a bunch of sex addicted sluts.”
12. “When you push identity politics into a series this is what you get.
Then add the LGBQXYZ1234#$% and you get this mess.”
13. “Girls can have deep friendships that don’t become sexual. A show about that would be far more refreshing.“
14. “I wish women could be represented and sports movies like men. Those movies are always about the love of the game, not their sexuality.”
15. “This is basically just the porno version with a whole lot of white male hate going on in it.”
16. “Families stay away! Lesbian kiss scene first episode, F BOMBS throughout not necessary.”
17. “Everyone is queer. It’s nothing like the movie which is EPIC. Is Janet the mean girl? The best friend? Mean lesbian? Mean straight girl I? can’t figure it out. ”
18. “The original was about women getting the opportunity to play a sport. The series is all about sexuality and blah blah blah.”
19. “If you want to be gay or whatever you want to call yourself, that’s fine. There is NO need to push it into people faces.”
20. “… it was like orange is the new black rockford peaches edition without the entertaining drama or romcom.”
21. “Way to go, Amazon, with furthering the stereotype that straight women can’t be good athletes, or that they’re all sleeping with each other!!”
22. “SORRY NOT SORRY MY 7 YEAR OLD DOESNT NEED TO WATCH LGBTQ HAVING SEX OR THE LEADING INTO IT.. THIS IS MORE OF SOFTCORE GAY PORN THAN A FAMILY SHOW! WHAT IN THE HELL DOES LGBTQ HAVE TO DO WITH THE HISTORY OF THIS ERA?”
23. “I cannot believe they took an amazing story about brave, bold women of the 1940’s and turned it into a complete homosexual extravaganza.”
24. “That satanist Madonna replacement character: gay and dragging another woman down with her. That personality hemorrhoid Rosie O’Donell character: gay.”
25. “I loved the league of their own movie and was hoping for a light funny show. This show is less baseball, less humor and a lot more lesbian sex scenes. It should be called “Bush League” At least then you would know what you are getting.”
26. “Nothing against the LGBTQ but its awful.”
27. “There was a pandemic, the economy is in the tank, inflation is up, .. nobody is in the mood for continued lectures from the woke class about their misogyny, their white privilege, etc.”
28. “women’s baseball… gay? im sorry i can care less who you do… but do not shove your crap at me, especally a womans baseball movie… i love women and i love baseball…”
29. “More like 2022 than 1943. The story is typical in a 2022 environment. POC, Friends of Dorothy, smoking, swearing, clothing, etc. Almost nothing happened IRL back in 1943 and that’s the issue.”
30. “The baseball stuff was good. I don’t know how it ended cause I canceled my membership cause of this.”
31. “They didn’t even show any loving heterosexual relationships with the female players. This was a great opportunity for a great movie and they blew it. I had to force myself to Finnish watching.”
32. “Should have just called it ‘The L Word Season of A League of Their Own.'”
47 Passionate Comments From 100% Straight People On The Daily Mail’s “Nobody Is 100% Straight”
As you may already be aware — The Daily Mail, never a stranger to scandal where they can find it, recently seized upon a Broadly article from November 2015 entitled “Straight People Don’t Exist, New Research Says” and a November 2017 book published by an author of the study about male sexual fluidity to write a piece of their own two days ago: No one is 100% straight: Study says sexuality is a ‘spectrum’. We wrote about the often dubious studies on this topic in November 2015, and in short, no study has presented evidence empirical enough to override the widely reported human experience that being 100% gay or 100% straight is entirely possible and in fact quite common! Sexuality, including male sexuality, is more fluid than a lot of cis-het people think it is (which is what the book is about), but sexuality is not fluid for everybody. Heterosexuals and homosexuals are real. Regardless! That’s not why I’ve brought you here today.
I’ve brought you here today because commenters on The Daily Mail lost their collective shit over this article and the comments are a real riot because you guys, listen: they’re straight. Like, VERY straight. This article and this study are total rubbish because these people are straight and would never ever do anything gay, not ever, because they’re straight. Okay? Straight. If these men saw a man with his shirt off, they would look the other way, so horrified would they be by this rugged display of implied homosexuality. Because, by the way, they’re straight. Heterosexual. Only attracted to the opposite sex. 100% straight! Straight! So straight!
VERY STRAIGHT PEOPLE.
The Daily Mail published an article claiming that ‘no one is 100% straight’ and this is possibly my favourite comment ever. pic.twitter.com/t73Oa7TlCr
— Marc 🎗️ (@marcfc) March 14, 2018
There’s nothing I love like a good comment curation exercise. These boards have really evolved over the past two days: tropes have emerged. Wars have been waged. The same jokes have been made 7-14 times. You get the impression that (surprise!) a lot of people are straight. But I plowed forward in search of the pure beauty that is humanity: below, please experience only a small sampling of the 1,000+ comments on this post, ripped mercilessly out of context and reprinted here for your entertainment. Please note that often commenters reply as if they are speaking directly to the author of the book, because of course, he’s listening. That’s exactly what he’s doing.
1. Total nonsense, as a woman I prefer the company of men as I find other women judging, catty and boring. I am 100% straight thank you.
2. So this is what they come up with in universities!
3. FAKE SCIENCE
4. Another report churned out by academics who sit around all day not knowing whether they are boys or girls, meanwhile in the real world…..
5. He didn’t ask me. I could have told him he was wrong. It would have saved him writing a book and looking silly.
6. My wife is 100% straight. I’ve been begging her to have a threesome with me and another woman for years but she’s having none of it lol.
7. Who financed this ” research “, Stonewall?
8. Everything is not some spectrum-based moral equivalency…sorry millennials.
9. So speaking as a 100% straight man who does not find men sexually attractive whatsoever, does that mean I am not normal and am now in fact a minority? Can I get special protection as a disadvantaged group? Get priority in jobs?
10. i think that women like to look at other women but not in a sexual way but in a more London Fashion Week kind of way.
11. not on my watch
12. no im straight
13. Uh— No, #NotMe
14. I wish i could be intimate with a female but only a extremly attractive one….i once made out a girl in vegas….
15. At no point in my 30 years of life have I ever ever been aroused by another man… There are planets to discover, species to study, life-changing technologies that we should all be invested in. Not this.
16. During the years of the Soviet Union, the establishment funded research to support their own agenda. Funny that.
17. I must admit women and women porn has turned me on. But I have NEVER been turned on by another man. NEVER
18. I’m quite happy to assure other men that I have never, ever been remotely sexually attracted to another man. Never, never, never, ever ever ever……….
19. I have never once, not ever, not even for a smidgen like fraction of a moment ever been aroused by another man.
20. I DO NOT FIND OTHER MEN SEXUALLY APPETIZING AT ALL PERIOD. AT ANY STAGE. ANY DAY. ANY MILLISECOND….
21. Some of my best friends are gay….but that’s enough thanks.
22. Google “estrogen water supply canada lake and fish.” It actually explains a LOT.
23. I love my husband and the thought of sleeping with another woman is absolutely appalling for me. I have nothing against being gay by the way
24. Whoaaaa there Liberace. Speak for yourself .
25. next it’ll be WILDLIFE….
26. As a fully paid-up heterosexual male, I don’t feel any urges towards males. So that’s it then you study has serious flaws. I strongly suspect that I am not alone, which destroys the basis of your thesis. I bet that this observation will not be posted.
27. I’m sorry to disappoint, but the only male body I admire is my own.
28. I am a bloke and I’m not aroused in the slightest by other men. I am 100% straight. Live and let live though we are all free to live our lives how we want but I’m just saying your article is wrong because I only get aroused by women. End of conversation. Boom.
(ED Note: This 100% straight guy left this same exact comment three times in a row)
29. The only “spectrum” I’m on involves brunettes, blondes, and redheads.
30. What a waste of money! That money could have been used to find cure for terminal illness like cancer.
31. I tried getting it on with a woman in my teens, it didn’t do anything for me and would NOT do it again.
32. The inexorable march towards gender neutrality. Glad I am at the end of my life, we learned nothing from the decline and fall of the Roman empire.
33. Researchers actually are given a salary for this, so-called, work. In my next life I will research, sitting down all day drumming up mad theories, cups of tea, taxpayer-funded. Bliss
34. Who write this article? Someone from Gay community?
35. IT’S OK TO BE STRAIGHT
36. Quick, put the author into a ‘LOONY-BIN. ALOHA-
37. I find lesbian love scenes boring. Sorry but it does not turn me on. I am not homophobic either.
38. I am male and no other male has aroused me, not even remotely.
39. Nekkid women do NOT crank my tractor!
40. I am unquestionably the most hetro dude in the world and so I can say with 100% truth that the “researchers” are wrong, again.
41. …but I consider myself the straightest man in HISTORY so I might be the exception…
42. i have taken a few pop quizzes on this and got back 100 straight which I am.
43. I like male masculinity, men with beards, hairy men, strong muscular men, the smell of a man, a man’s body
44. I might entertain ideas about Ruby Rose or Emily Browning and have my share of attractive women offering liaisons, but never had a desire to actually go there.
45. How about 100% WRONG
46. Artificial estrogen in the water, from birth control pills.
47. No no no. No one studied me.
21 Valuable Unsolicited Insights From The “Lesbian, Comes Out” Column on Tweetdeck
Adding a “comes out, lesbian” keyword column to my Tweetdeck was an incredibly educational experience. If you’re unfamiliar, Tweetdeck is an application that enables you to view multiple twitter timelines in one interface — it’s how I track mentions of autostraddle, keep up with the news, and follow the people that I follow. You can add a column for a specific search term, so every time somebody tweets using those words, it’ll pop up. See:
Obviously, I created the “Search: ‘comes out, lesbian” column in order to stay up-to-date on any celebrity coming out as a lesbian. I have indeed received some tips in that department. But mostly, I get other stuff. Namely:
1. A wide body of pornographic work, mostly involving MILFs.
2. An apparently otherwise-heterosexual woman declaring that her “inner lesbian” comes out when she consumes alcohol or views an attractive woman in real life or in pop culture. I’d like to commission a study on these “inner lesbians” but who has the time.
3. Fandom debates.
4. Excitement about the release of Kabi Nagata’s My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness.
5. Speculation about whether or not various members of the kardashian/Jenner family will come out. E.g., “i high key think kendall jenner is lesbian and im waiting for the day when she comes out and i can watch her flourish”
Then there are other delightful gems — jokes, observations, accounts of inner turmoil — that just turn up. I didn’t ask for them. I wasn’t looking for them. But now I have them.
I’m pasting the text of each tweet content rather than embedding the tweet because these people did not agree to be in my life or yours.
21 Tweets From My “Lesbian Comes Out” Column On Tweetdeck That Are Not About a Lesbian Coming Out But Are Still Very Important Ideas To Consider
1. web designers how do I make it so that if straight men try to read my lesbian comic a hand comes out of their screens and clocks them
2. when’s florence + the machine going to drop a new album i have a lesbian out of body experience every time one of her songs comes on shuffle
3. Sits down to watch shameless with my mom, *lesbian sex scene comes on* stands right back up and walks out
4. Oh please! I will never ever have respect for Bruno Mars until he comes out & tells us he is a butch lesbian from the 70’s
5. (@-reply to another twitter user)
you didn’t see the lesbian sex scene? did you even get to the part where flappy bird comes out? god, you are pathetic
6. (@-reply to Nancy Pelosi)
Nancy do u really believe the bullshit that comes out of ur mouth. R you & Hilary having a lesbian affair because u r still on her tit
7. If you say lesbian three times in the mirror, Ellen comes out and starts dancing.
8. Can someone write a story about a young lesbian who comes out but never gets the girl? Because that’s my life story.
9. who wants to be my fake boyfriend when my family comes out for my graduation so they stop telling everybody i’m a lesbian
10. “how do you know you’re a lesbian if you’ve never been with a man” HOW ABOUT I SHOVE MY CONTROLLER SO FAR UP YOUR ASS IT COMES OUT YOUR MOUTH
11. If it comes out that Maggie Thatcher was a lesbian I DON’T claim her
12. The truth comes out; it was lesbian nuns.
13. Would not be surprised if the Clintons divorced quietly and hill comes out as a lesbian no need to hide it now.
14. “You’re going to be that lesbian that comes out when you’re 35 after getting a divorce with a man you had two kids with” bitch I might be
15. My little sister is a lesbian. I’m tweeting this now so I can come back to and RT it when she comes out in four years
16. Just when I thought porn had run out of new subgenres, here comes lesbian tennis…
17. Mum always comes out with these cool facts about her past… She just told me when she was 18 she had a dj set at a lesbian disco.. niceee
18. I think my new neighbor is a lesbian. She comes out EVERY time she hears my car lock sound… at least she says hey instead of just staring
19. That moment “Push It” comes on in Target & you start grindin on the BF just to find out it’s a 40yr old lesbian.
So, I think I have a GF now.
20. Rosie once was funny and once was nice. Anytime a lesbian comes out they turn mean. They are men haters. imho
21. Will there be any leaks on HRCs sexual life revealed? I’m betting on lesbian when Wiki comes out!
42 Insightful “Ghostbusters” Reviews From Actual Adult Males On Facebook Who Definitely Aren’t Sexist
The all-new lady-centric Ghostbusters came out last weekend, inspiring positive reviews from people who liked it, as well as negative reviews from people who didn’t like it. Both of those groups have been sharing their feelings on this matter on the official Ghostbusters fan page, which was originally created for fans of the original film. 25% of the comments about the remake are vomit emojis and reminders that Ghostbusters made less money last weekend than The Secret Life of Pets, 50% of them are positive endorsements of the film from people of all genders, 5% are women who hated it and 20% are men who hated it. The excerpts on this listling come, of course, from that last group. (This is not to say that all women liked the movie, or that disliking the movie is anti-feminist. But this IS to say that a lot of the men who hate the movie are misogynist mansplaining asshats.) (Oh yeah; and a lot of the people who hate it are also mean and racist!)
Below please witness excerpts from comments left recently on the Ghostbusters Facebook page, ripped mercilessly out of context but mostly presented in their entirety. I have edited some of these comments for clarity, grammar and spelling. Some of the misspellings and bad grammar I left intact for artistic reasons.
1. Call it what it really is: Malebusters
2. As a man I refuse to watch. The whole “feminist agenda” doesn’t appeal to me.
3. This movie was made by women wearing strap-ons and guys wearing dresses! Lol!!!
4. Who you gonna call? Someone else
5. Just watch Scooby Doo 2 Monsters Unleashed. It was the exact same movie complete with fart jokes. The Ghostbusters themselves seemed a ripoff of the whole Mystery Inc. gang. Just like Scooby, the Leslie Jones character would find the ghost and run in fear being chased by the ghost back to the group. Kate McKinnon could be labeled as Fred: blond hair, sometimes scarf around her neck. Kristen Wiig in the roll of Daphnie, the damsel in distress. Melissa McCarthy as Velma: book smart, complete with glasses. Chris Hemsworth was Shaggy: dumb and carefree, even came with properly timed sandwich-eating. They could have just cast Seth Green as the creepy weirdo villain guy for another cameo bit. The whole script was hollow and full of cheap gags just like Scooby Doo. Just my opinion.
6. We’ve read the emails — we know you forced Ivan Reitman out. We hate you Sony.
7. Emphasis on the boooooo
8. Women feel the need to bully men into having a positive opinion about a movie, otherwise, disagreeing makes them “manbabies.” Meanwhile, other genders are able to act as nostalgic, geekish, childish in their entertainment favorites as they like, and it’s considered perfectly fine.
9. And the trophy for the most misandrist movie of the year goes to ….. ghostbuster 2016
10. This movie deserves an award.. – WORST MOVIE OF THE FKIN CENTURY
11. If [Kate McKinnon] spent as much time in the kitchen as she did trying to do a man’s job, we could get more accomplished.
12. These four women aren’t funny of what I’ve seen in the five trailers that I’ve seen.
13. I would rather watch a 24-hour Richard Simmons marathon in a rainstorm with jumper cables attached to my nipples than watch this movie
14. It bombed big time. Like worse then Jem did. Like worse then Gigli.
15. My band is named after the creature that wreaked havoc during the 3rd reconciliation of Gozer the Destructor. With that said, I’m not watching this til it comes out on DVD.
16. I just seen a bunch of women that wished they were as good as men. Terrible movie.
17. Wow! What a pathetic attempt by feminists. Going to start a petition to get my money back.
18. Should have listened to fans instead of pandering to Twitter feminists.
19. If I found a free copy of this movie in the street, I wouldn’t walk it the next few steps to the garbage can. Oh, that’s a lie. I hate litter. I’d be a good citizen and chunk it.
20. I’m surprised they didn’t show all these ladies cats?
21. Nothing makes me want to see a movie quite like being told to “get over it.” That alongside “women are funny” “women rule” “women women women” really drives home the point that this movie is all about the fact that the new Ghostbusters are women.
22. This is not Ghostbusters, this is just a big nothing compared to the ORIGINAL. WHERE ARE MALE PEOPLE. And don’t act like womans are better than males. It’s tied between the two so stop please.
23. I left to get popcorn and the claw machine was more entertaining.
24. I will see this piece of garbage about the same time when Joel Schumacher apologizes for the two Batman movies he did…
25. There are plenty of women who aren’t better than me but can do better things, there are plenty of women who make more money than me but aren’t better. There are plenty who I make more than but I’m no better. I won’t give in imagine if Lord of the Rings was remade in a few years because… women empowernent.
26. Feminists everywhere insist everyone is sexist, but it’s sexist for people to be producing all-women films when the characters were male to begin with. Honestly, people are pretending to like this BECAUSE it is women. (That’s sexist too.)
27. I had the choice of: working in 100-degree weather and 100% humidity mowing the lawn, pressure washing the house and painting the deck OR seeing this movie. Yard and house look real nice.
28. They shouldn’t have tried to remake a classic, and insert socio-political propaganda into it as well…
29. Okay Ghostbusters, why did you think this was going to work? A group of feminist ghost-catchers? Complete fail and I didn’t even see it. The previews were enough.
30. SONY handing out those checks for positive revues…
31. Thats totally how restaurants drum up business, whats that you dont like pizza? Well your sexist and racists against Italians then
32. Now that The Sisterhood Of The Traveling Ghosts has proved to be garbage can we please get that ghostbusters movie that was promised to be for actual fans?
33. Films like this one, is the exact reason females aren’t taken more seriously in Hollywood.
34. Anyone who wastes their money on this abortion is a fool.
35. I hope she gets proton cancer from licking those guns
36. I saw the movie GHOST IN THE SHELL witch isn’t trash and is actually entertaining
37. All a positive review does is prove how easily a small mind is amused.
38. Cutting my toenails with a butter knife would be a more entertaining and satisfying way to spend the evening.
39. It’s a action chic comedy ,not bad ,not good …Only thing I like was seeing the original Ghostbusters and Sigorney weaver ..some where middle end ,got to predictable and lame .Positive thing I can say ,as a writer …the writing was good, the acting good ,the blonde ghost buster chic. ..crazy hot ..Thor was good as secretary ,but girls saving NYC nope ! Not convincing.
40. It’s hard to take anyone seriously who looks like a bunch of rejects from Whataburger
41. They deleted my comment… Hiding the truth.
29 Excerpts From Super-Cool Comments Left On Mainstream Media Stories About Holland Taylor and Sarah Paulson
Once upon a time (last week) we were 99% positive that Holland Taylor and Sarah Paulson were dating and The Daily Fail noticed and wrote about it (citing us) and then the mainstream media caught on, ET Online allegedly found somebody to confirm it, and the entire mass media had chance to weigh in (not citing us). Something about this pairing, the age difference, and the actresses in it are bringing out some really special responses — some from lesbians, some from straight people, and some from Two and Half Men fandom.
Here are bits from some of those comments, ripped mercilessly out of context for your viewing enjoyment.
1. I would like to see Holland Taylor(Evelyn Harper) with her own comedy show & Conchata Ferrell(Berta)
2. I didn’t know either was gay. I don’t really keep up with that sort of thing. Just TV shows and movies.
3. Holland and Sarah are both such elegant women one can definitely see what they see in each other…I loved Holland in L Word…I can imagine the quintessential New York lifestyle…the theatre, the art galleries
4. “Let’s see how cute it is in 10 or 15 years…”
[same commenter, a few minutes later]
“So many ifs”
5. Holland Taylor, the older lady was the mother on Two and a half Men. She was hilarious on the show!
6. Just wonder what Charlie thinks about it…that would be an interesting 2 1/2 men episode…
7. Don’t use the word GUSHING when talking bout these clam diggers…
8. I’m in shock i mean literally.
9. Shame on those that say their relationship is disgusting. Love is about more than sex. Grow up.
10. They look like mother and daughter. It is their business, of course, but they do not seem that they’d have anything in common.
11. This couple is very cute, but I think I squeed a bit more over Lin-Manuel. Just a weird, ‘me’ personal thing *Sigh* The man is too adorable.
12. I’m jealous. I wanted to date Holland Taylor. But … mazel tov.
13. Lol, gross. One of them is going to die soon.
14. Are they related to Casper the ghost. Yikes!!!!
15. Finally! A contemporary celebrity couple to care about and cheer on. Nice, fun article but… “dating” doesn’t seem the appropriate word for what’s going on between these two. This is a forever kind of love, methinks. A serious, solid, joyful coupling.
16. like wine, the older you get, the tastier you become
17. What!!? You go gurl. Cougar, meow. Love them both.
18. She’s in her seventies. BTW anybody who needs to put down any person with the word ‘yuck’ must have some serious mental issues. So sorry for you not getting any lately but you seriously need some hormones.
19. Who? and Who???
20. Taylor was fantastic as the realtor Mom in Two and a Half Men. Loved her and Bertha’s characters. When her show’s grandson asked her to take him to Disneyland she answered, “No, Dear. Grandmama doesn’t do Anaheim”.
21. “It’s me, Lana Banana”
22. Did you not read the comments on Mary Kate Ashley and her new husband, whatever his name is…
23. They could do it around her real-estate maybe like a camera crew follows her around some time, like Million dollar listing L.A.
24. I think the hardest thing for a young lesbian is getting older women to take interest in you. Sarah Paulson, I bow my hat to you.
25. I may be straight, but I’m totally jealous. SP is an incredible actress and soooo freaking gorgeous! You can feel their happiness; joy is contagious! Warm fuzzies for the rest of the night!
26. I’m sure if it were a 72-year-old dude and a 40-year-old chick, heads would be rolling, but no, in this case it’s ‘cute’ because gay is the new black. Say anything to the contrary then prepare to have your life ruined by George Takei and his minions.
27. Leave them alone. On another note, Holland looks absolutely stunning.
28. She was awesome in Bosom Buddies!!! Remember back when they played the ENTIRE song for the opening credits…. and commercial breaks lasted 60 seconds….
29. my neighbor’s mother-in-law Jane A. Flynn makes $63 every hour on the laptop . She has been out of work for 7 months but last month her pay check was $16646 just working on the laptop for a few hours. hop over to this web-site….
22 Hilarious Excerpts From Scathing Reviews of “Stonewall”
Much to nobody’s surprise (especially that of the activists who were actually there), Stonewall has not fared well after its debut at the Toronto Film Festival. Here are just some of the many metaphors, comparisons and other delightful bits of wordsmithery that we can enjoy together instead of enjoying the movie.
1. “[Stonewall] slaps you in the face like a sodden cloth, over and over again.” (the daily beast)
2. “It’s so clumsy in its execution that it feels like someone set up an ornate chess set and then just smashed a watermelon on it.” (uproxx)
3. “Stonewall couldn’t be more whitewashed than if it was doused in Clorox Bleach and thrown into the laundry three times over.” (the heights)
4. “Stonewall has the opportunity to tell the story of a profound, pivotal moment in the history of gay rights in this country, and it not only fumbles it, it trips over it, then falls off a cliff, then sets itself on fire. ” (deadspin)
5. “[The] production design makes late 1960s Christopher Street look like Sesame Street.” (vanity fair)
6. “…often looks as if it was shot on the set of an old Janet Jackson music video.” (santa cruz sentinel)
7. “Ray leads a ragtag gang of street hustlers that look like a scruffy chorus line from an off-Broadway production.” (citybeat)
8. “When the group is sitting outside on a stoop, it all looks too staged, as if they are waiting to break into a song from Rent.” (nola)
9. “… it should be called “Independence Gay.” (vanity fair)
10. “…a gay Forrest Gump.” (uproxx)
11. “You get more of a sense of what it’s like to visit SeaWorld in the notoriously abysmal Jaws 3D than you do what it was like to patronize Stonewall in Stonewall. Stonewall teaches you about as much about being gay as the Aristocats taught you about being an aristocrat.” (defamer)
12. “Having Danny throw the first brick at the Stonewall riots is a bit like when Marty McFly goes back in time and steals rock ‘n’ roll from Chuck Berry, taking history away from the real participants.” (uproxx)
13. “[Danny screams] ‘Gay power!’ as though he’d just been stabbed with a high-dosage EpiPen.” (the a.v. club)
14. “You seriously watch Danny get off the bus and gape up at all those tall buildings while clutching his suitcase—acting less like an authentic representation of late-’60s gay culture, and more like a Newsies extra.” (deadspin)
15. “As if Selma had focused a fictional white liberal character instead of Martin Luther King, Jr.” (the wrap)
16. “Like saying that Rosa Parks was a tired lady who decided she’d rather rest her feet.” (salon)
17. “…the actually-gay Jonny Beauchamp lisps and screeches his way through his role like a straight high-schooler trying on homosexuality for a school play.” (indiewire)
18. “Stonewall plays like a William Inge knockoff, right down to the bookish, progressive little sister straight out of “Picnic.” (chicago tribune)
19. “Danny’s unflaggingly tolerant kid sister is an absolute nightmare… her every cloying message of total support like a rusty nail driven directly into the frontal lobe.” (indiewire)
20. “[The film] ends on a falsely contemporary note, as though it were a PSA for the It Gets Better campaign.” (vulture)
21. “Somehow, director Roland Emmerich has made a movie even less historically accurate than 10,000 BC, the one depicting Egyptian-style pyramids being constructed with the help of woolly mammoths.” (news-observer)
22. “…about as realistic as Godzilla’s radioactive flame breath.” (star tribune)
26 Excerpts From Scathing Amazon and Netflix Reviews Of “Orange Is The New Black”
Orange is the New Black‘s third season begins this Friday and apparently not everybody is as excited about it as I am. There are some very upset humans on the internet who did not like this show one bit and who disagree with Netflix’s suggestion that fans of Breaking Bad might enjoy this program.
So, what follows are excerpts from negative reviews of Orange is The New Black I found on Amazon and Netflix.
Many of these opinions are totally valid, especially the ones about Jason Biggs.
Many of them will make you wish the reviewer would sit on a knife.
All of them have been ripped mercilessly out of context for your entertainment.
1. The main character has the personality of a dead fish and where did they get her boyfriend, the used toilet brush store?
2. More like “bitter is the new black”
3. THIS TYPE OF GROSS SEXUAL HUMOR IS TYPICAL OF THE KIND OF CULTURALLY CORRUPTIVE TRIPE RUNNING RAMPANT IN MEDIA.
4. I’m a gay male, and nothing about the female body or female sexuality excites me; in fact, it turns me off. So just the idea of a women’s prison doesn’t automatically get my juices flowing, and the abundant nudity and sex in this series leaves me cold and irritated. On top of that, every single character in this series is annoying, from the leads to the very least of the supporting roles… A Jewish nerd is pretty much my ideal man, but there’s something very creepy about Jason Biggs (he isn’t Jewish, for one thing) that negates any appeal the character might have. There aren’t even any real villains I can hate, just dozens of petty, stupid, ugly, obnoxious jerks, who spend all their time posing and snarling.
5. Two sets of breasts in the first 50 seconds told me not to bother.
6. This country is doomed, I might be switching back to something like an AM radio station for my entertainment
7. If you have a Y chromosome, an IQ in excess of your belt size or have ever considered voting Republican, you are NOT this show’s targeted demographic. You have been warned.
8. Overall imo this show is a disaster, but if your an American and like idiot American tv then this is probably right down your alley.
9. These inmates come up with words and knowledge that are supposed to be witty, when you know in reality, women prisoners would not even have that vocabulary.
10. This is just about some dumb girl who smokes pot and decides too go to jail because she got too bored of watching Half Baked and not working
11. I had no idea the program was so vulgar and pornographic
12. That one inmate has been pregnant for 2 years and she’s not even showing yet!
13. Is it me or all the guards have their american flags on backwards?
14. It made no sense for the Russian lady to get so pissed about someone insulting her food when a few episodes later she complains about her crappy ingredients.
15. This is more for gay people and I just couldn’t get into it.
16. Quite inappropriate. I only watched 5 minutes of the first episode before i had to watch something else. Well I am only 13…..
17. I really got bored with it; soft porn. Although I did not watch the entire season, my husband did. lol
18. WHY… is this always on the “New Releases” list, when it’s been created and promoted by Netflx since 2013? Do you suppose they are desperate to wring every last viewer out of it? No amount of “not interested” or One stars seem to get them to leave me alone… C’mon Netflx, this is NOT new, new, new!!
19. Also no one likes Jason Biggs… HE SUCKS SO HARD. Who the hell wants to watch Jason Biggs beat off?
20. I hate the theme song. I always fast-forward through it. It’s frustratingly vapid, so I do my best to avoid it. It adds nothing to the show except some teenage caterwauling, which the shows doesn’t benefit from.
21. No I don’t want to watch some manly women masturbating until she has an orgasm.
22. If you’re into mild Lesbianism (or shocked by it) maybe you’ll be interested or you’ve lived a sheltered life.
23. More horrifying than The Exorcist as well as more morally compromised, more disgusting and more damaging in intent.
24. If you don’t mind watching in every episode probably two scenes with women shoving their faces in each others crotches without any lead up for the scene or romantic love, than this is the series for you.
25. Sexist in the worst way. Horrible portrayal of men. If women were portrayed the way men are in this show, people would be up in arms.
26. It’s June 12, where is season 3??? I’ve been waiting patiently!! This show is phenomenal!
Looking for legitimately deep conversation on potentially controversial elements of Orange is the New Black? We suggest: Orange is the New Black: 7 Things We Should Talk About and How “Real” Is “Orange Is The New Black”? Comparing The Show To The Memoir To The Numbers.
Listling Without Commentary: 22 Excerpts From Brutal Amazon Customer Reviews Of “The L Word”
While re-watching L Word episodes on Amazon in order to screencap them for our 17 Devastating Lesbian Breakups post I drifted, as I so often do, into the customer reviews of The L Word. The one-star and two-star reviews, of course. You’ll not be surprised to learn that people have very strong opinions about this program.
So, I present, ripped mercilessly out of context and sometimes edited for clarity but sometimes left totally intact and horrible, some of the best things amazon reviewers had to say about the show we will forever and always love to hate.
1. I heard that this show was the lesbian version of Sex and the City which is not at all true. They don’t delve into fashion at all.
2. To all the men who have daughters…… KEEP THEM AWAY FROM THIS SICK SHOW.
3. This show bored me to tears. The plot was a total drag. I don’t care if someone is a lesbian but for heaven sake there is more to life than picking up people for sex, etc.
4. I gave this show a fair chance. I watched the pilot and the next 4 eps. The characters are anorexic, they’re way too focused on each other’s lives (busy bodies from hell on crank), they’re not working nearly hard enough to afford living in LA, and they’re just not that interesting.
5. Way too raunchy! Story line could be good but falls short due to over abundance of porn scenes.
6. This show feeds the desire to go against the physical faculties of our body created to procreate. Society has compromised by creating a “Do it if it feels right” mentality. Immoral behavior feels right too, but it is still wrong. In my book, wrong never has a grey area.
7. i thought the L word was short for The Loser Word. lol
8. I bought this without truly knowing what it was about. When I found out, I threw it away. I am not against homosexuality, I just don’t want to watch it.
9. Those who think this series will aid lesbians in their quest for equal rights are kidding themselves.
10. We’ve got two power lesbians who keep saying, “let’s make a baby.” Two women cannot “make” a baby. This notion is ridiculous.
11. Yes, Jenny needed to die – but was it necessary to make ME want to be the killer?
12. My advice to the L chicks: get a life or maybe take all that time you spend in despair and do some volunteer work for the underprivileged. Just a suggestion.
13. I watched this show for the first couple of minutes and it became very clear to me what the “L” word means. This is not my kind of show.
14. These self inflicted dejected, disappointed, grieving, heart-sick, melancholy, miserable, bellyachers are the poster children for those groups of trendy home-owning high end European car driving never satisfied with being successful-comfortable-financially-stable so all they do is whine about everything that nobody cares about.
15. It’s a little too much for me — cross-dressers, pregnancy, affairs, etc. It was a bad soap to me. I have no prejudice one way or another, truly. I just couldn’t “get into” the story lines enough to keep me interested.
16. I couldn’t bear having it in my room so I broke it and threw it in a huge garbage next to our house. Hope this review stops you from buying it, don’t repeat the mistake that I’ve done.
17. Turns out lesbians aren’t that interesting.
18. The episode “Lucky” has “provocative scenes” that depict the Son of God, Our Lord Jesus Christ, in carnal situations. The plot seems to be that art can be interpreted by anyone in their own way, art should have free expression, and it is okay to depict someone’s art even if it is offensive to some groups. Well, that being the case, will someone please tell me if in other episodes will there be offensive depictions of Mohammed and Moses? Why is it that art can offend Christians but not Muslims and Jews? I refuse to watch the rest of the episodes.
19. Wanted to know what all the hype was about. Fell aslee. Watching. Bored me and I didn’t even get through half of disc one
20. I hate to break it to those people, but lesbians tend to dress like men, act like men–and look like men. The “hot babe” is about as foreign to the lesbian demographic as “Mexicans” are to the nativist crowd these days.
21. Don’t watch this show with your family. Very sick subject matter. Looks like the L’s deleted my last comment on here. Warning people that this show is sick is wrong now. WoW.
22. The whole point of the series is to show nude women having sex in front of the camera. I’ll bet the actors aren’t even lesbians.
Listling Without Commentary: 27 Excerpts From 1-Star Reviews Of Bad Lesbian Movies
It is well-established that the vast majority of lesbian films are relatively insufferable. This doesn’t seem to stop the vast majority of lesbian films from receiving glowing reviews on amazon, but amid these peddlers of questionable evaluations there are many reviewers fighting for the truth (the truth = “THAT SUCKED”). You can also find these brave warriors in the review sections of universally poorly-rated lesbian films, where they were the only 1-star reviewers who got past the first ten minutes in order to write a really thorough negative review worth excerpting.
The following excerpts have been ripped mercilessly out of context from one-star reviews of various lesbian films.
1. “First of all, I want to go on record by saying that any individuals that actually thought this film was good in any way are definitely lost and delirious themselves.”
2. “You know the little video progress bar at the bottom? I kept checking it and thinking, “if there isn’t that much left, I might make it to the end.” I swear the thing was going backwards. The only reason I finished it is because I’m too OCD not to finish a movie. But this one tested my affliction.”
3. I AM NOT INTO SAME SEX MOVIES. GOOD EXTREMELY ATTRACTIVE WOMEN. THE BLOND WAS NOT AN ACTOR. THE BRUNETTE WAS IN OUTER SPACE
4. “We all thought it was going to be sexy and hot, but I’ve seen more action in a Miller Lite commercial.”
5. “I suppose the intention here was to create a movie mainly for the Lesbian population. You perhaps succeeded there but unfortunately I think you also succeeded in insulting our intelligence.”
6. “Amazon…can you refund the last hour and a half of my life, plus interest? I know; I shouldn’t blame you. You were just the messenger.”
7. “I think the director or writer went into an LSD trance halfway through”
8. “I’m not sure what the creators of this movie were trying to accomplish but, unless it was to make my ears cringe, I don’t think that they succeeded.”
9. “I could have told a better story with a slideshow in powerpoint.”
10. “It was like watching a very bad porno movie but never getting to the porn.”
12.”Imagine, for a moment, a really, REALLY bad Kenny G video (you know, soft focus filters, lots of hair, and entirely too much make-up. And that’s just on Kenny G). Then, throw in all of the worse-than-stilted acting from Claire of the Moon, heavy-handed music that’s a string arrangement from the stock “bow-wow-chikka-wow-wow!” groove of your typical porn flick, add a dash of “look, I can edit VHS!” skills and, voila! You have the basic ingredients of this 1980’s housewife’s Harlequinn Romance idea of “what lesbians do.”
13. “I hope these folks have day jobs, because they sure as hell can’t act, direct, write, produce. Maybe they can cook……..?”
14. “What’s next – lesbian versions of Das Experiment and The Princess and the Warrior? I can already see the titles now, Das Sexperiment and The Princess and The Princess.”
15. “Even if you hate chocolate, it’s still way better than this.”
16. “Want to watch a fat het man chain smoke? Want to watch a skinny gay girl sob? Want to watch them inexplicably, suddenly become best bffs? This is your flick.”
17. “The dialog was forced and way to grammatically correct.”
18. “Who wrote the plot? Cracked-out monkeys from outer space? Yo Gabba Gabba is more entertaining then this piece of trash! Only reason I gave it one star? There was no option for zero stars.”
18. “Why do some gay movies have to be so bad? I haven’t found an answer to that one yet, however I have a feeling that it’s a conspiracy. The Republicans are funding terrible gay movies to make the entire population straight!”
19. “If you can stand just killing time and watching a [horrible] movie, then go ahead. Heck, you can go to the john a few times, go out for some pizza, and even walk your dog. You won’t miss anything.”
20. “It was more like nude yoga or Cirque de Soliel than a passionate love story.”
21. “It looks like an infomercial broadcast at 2am for some new age guru who wants to help you find your twin flame.”
22. “I started to write a really bad review but then I remembered hearing a filmmaker once say, “even in the worst movie there is something good to be found there.” So, in keeping with that spirit, here is the good I found: the movie is only 40 min long. There you have it.”
23. I COULDNT WATCH IT. I PAID AND I TRAVEL FOR VACATION AND BEING THERE I COULD EVEN OPEN IT. WHEN I WAS BACK IT DIDNT APPEARED IN MY LIBRARY OR ANYTHING.
24. “This is a flick for teenage boys to get brief glimpses of French-speaking girls being partially naked.”
25. “I am sorry but I can’t abide by this. You are destroying our morality and you love it. You want to destroy our culture. That is what this is all about.”
26. “You’d think that a movie about a book that is promoting the vagina would show a few vaginas. Not here. There are a bunch of people talking about how women should not be ashamed of their vaginas, how beautiful vaginas are, and how no vagina looks the same; yet no vaginas. I thought the whole point was that there is nothing to be ashamed of. Seems ridiculous to me. What’s next? Will they produce a show about gardening, yet show no plants? Or maybe they’ll make a travel documentary about Italy, and just interview people from Utah who’ve been to Italy.”
27. “After watching quality lesbian films this was very disappointing. Bring back The L Word!”
Listling Without Commentary: 26 Excerpts From Negative Yelp Reviews Of Lesbian Bars By Men and Straight People
relevant image from our trip to The Lex last weekend
A few weeks ago, we all had a nice time reading excerpts from 1-star Yelp reviews of lesbian bars from actual queer women. But lesbians aren’t the only humans with feelings about their lesbian bars — there are some straights and gay men with a few choice words to share as well. (This list could’ve easily been 26 accusations of “hypocritical” stances on equality or reminders that “discrimination goes both ways” from people horrified that there might ever be a space that doesn’t immediately prioritize their needs.) Everybody has mixed feelings about mixed crowds at lesbian bars, and the reviews are mixed, too — for every straight and/or male hater, there’s another who loves the place despite not being its target audience! Every night, in some lesbian bar somewhere around the world, a straight woman or a man is having a really nice time with his gay lady pals. It’s true! But there are also some straight women and men who can’t handle the adventure and instead wrote these reviews on Yelp. (Also, #23 isn’t actually a negative review, I just thought it was funny.)
If you think lesbians hate lesbian bars, just listen to these folks!
Everything below has been ripped mercilessly out of context.
1. “The staff act like they don’t want you there — or maybe it’s my penis they don’t want there.”
2. “To The Drew Carey lookalike Lesbian bouncer: be nice to people, especially to customers. You never know who will write a review and call you out on your rudeness. Oh and for your own health reasons: lose some weight or adjust your attitude. Nobody likes a Mean Fat Person. You can’t be both!”
3. “One star for interesting “go-go” dancers.”
4. “When my friend used the men’s restroom he discovered that someone had written above the urinal “you are not welcome here.” Really?”
5. “I intentionally let some stranger beat me at pool because 1. this girl was sporting a mullet and 2. I think she was carrying a knife.”
6. “Why do I keep finding myself at [gay bar]?! Oh yeah… my friend has to score some blow.”
7. “Well, after building this place up in my mind for years and begging countless females to let me tag along, last Friday I finally got to experience [bar]. It was so anti-climatic to realize it is just a neighborhood bar that happens to be very woman-identified.”
8. “I have a feeling as to why we were rushed out: we weren’t lesbians.”
9. “Can you imagine what kind of uproar these women would have caused if the roles were reversed and they were refused entrance into a straight business? LOL! They’d probably call all the local news stations!”
10. “The door dyke was SO rude and sour that I’m a little scurred of her — even though I’m over 6′ and she’s probably a foot shorter.”
11. “Most of the “ladies ” here are haters. So much for a supportive, all-inclusive gay community. Perhaps they were jealous because I have fuller facial hair.”
12. “No matter how much you tip or compliment the bartenders, you cannot get them to crack a smile. You may, however, see their crack as their Dickies sag or when they bend over to grab a beer.”
13. “The place is so dingy, grimy, and gross that I seriously believe monsters are going to come flying out of the bathroom at any moment and swoop down on all the dudes and chop our heads off.”
14. “I had met the owner a dozen times but either she never remembered my name or pretended not to. This was obviously because I was a guy.”
15. “The place smelled like onions.”
16. “I tried making conversations with a couple chicks there with no intentions but a friendly gesture and I would literally get quick, sharp answers. I’m sorry, I was interested in how adorable your pug was, not you. I’m straight.”
17. “Talking with my female friends, their guess is that the owner is a manhater.”
18. “I’m reviewing [bar] solely as a neighbor sick of the asinine wasted jackasses that roll out of here at all hours. I’m talking each and every night, around 2 am, girls AND guys are yelling in the streets, usually fighting with each other, trees, street poles, god knows what.”
19. “I must say though, never have I seen a more dapper bunch of men and a more openly horny female population.”
20. “She had no cause to be rude to me, unless she’s male-o-phobic or something.”
21. “Gay or not, If you have a dangling unit, don’t go here.”
22. “Some girl with a fake purse tried to tell my friend that she had a mullet, when it was clearly layered fringe.”
23. “even tho I am a dong pirate, I like [bar]. The crowd is fun and rad, the bartenderwomen are hot so if i was going to go the other way id probably go for one of them.”
24. “You preach equality, yet if you are a newcomer (and straight, accompanied by your boyfriend) to [bar], you will not even be served a drink within 30 minutes (at least). I was excited to be in an establishment that would respect the fact that everyone lives differently, and these differences should be embraced. Unfortunately, because I am heterosexual, I’m not to be treated equally… Needless to say, we left after we were not treated EQUALLY!”
25. “Guys definitely beware, they have absolutely no interest in having you there and definitely will make you feel unwelcome at any and every point. On the other hand, If you’re a man hating lesbian that doesn’t mind overpriced drinks, this is the place for you.”
26. “Seriously, I can’t help it if I was born straight. Hater.”
Listling Without Commentary: 29 Excerpts From 1-Star Reviews Of Lesbian Bars
Lesbian bars: the first place you found community, the first place you found hostility. They play that song you love and then they play that song you hate. They have the best bartenders and the worst bartenders, the best doorwomen and the worst, the meanest patrons and the nicest. You love them, you hate them, you hate to love them and you love to hate them. And when you hate them, you really hate them. The following excerpts, ripped mercilessly out of context and displayed here for your entertainment and ensuing laughter, were pulled from one-star Yelp! reviews of lesbian bars all over the U.S. and Canada — many of which are shut down and many of which are still open. Bar names have been removed.
Now let’s talk about that bitch Michelle.
1. “Getting a drink at the bar is more difficult than turning straight.”
2. “I thought there would be a cool bunch of gay girls playing darts to befriend, but instead we got the old man with no teeth.”
3. “Maybe I don’t wear enough ill-fitting clothes with feather earrings. Maybe it’s because I use the bathroom to piss and not take bumps of coke… whatever the reason is, I’ll never feel welcomed in this tiny, unfriendly, pretentious dive.”
4. “In retrospect I would say that this bar caused me to go back in the closet and not want to be a lesbian.”
5. “I went to the bathroom and there was a bag of french fries hanging out in there like someone was just chilling, taking a pee and having a snack.”
6. “We arrived around 11:30 pm to meet a friend for a drink cause this is “where everyone goes.” Well, if this is everyone, I am upgrading my Netflix membership.”
7. “Where is the diversity? Where are the minorities? Where are the transgenders? Where is the unity? Where is the love?”
8. “I am pretty sure all the little Hollywood Goth clubs need to attend this bar and take notes on how to create a dreary atmosphere that Edgar Allan Poe himself would want to run away from, screaming.”
9. “Each time I go I witness a sea of unfriendly faces, scary artwork, long waits for drinks and dance music that sounds straight outta the USSR circa 1991.”
10. “This place is like the last person left at the bar that you take home because you don’t want to sleep alone.”
11. “If you like the taste of farts in your glass, then this is the place for you!”
12. “Michele why are you playing the CRAP music until well after midnight???? God someone fire that bitch already!!!!!!”
13. “You don’t go to a club to hear THE MACARENA or Will Smith’s “Gettin’ Jiggy With It” straight off the CD.”
14. “If you’re a supermodel type stay clear of here! The bartenders here wish they had my body!”
15. “It’s like every lesbian here watched LOGO and Tila Tequila and took notes on how to be a lesbian.”
16. “This is the kind of dyke bar where everyone knows your name if you look like everyone else AND come in all the time.”
17. “I am giving this place one star for two reasons:
1) The drinks are uber cheap
2) Yelp makes you give at least one star rating”
18. “The people running this place are the reason gay people cannot have nice things.”
19. “I get the whole love affair between lesbian bars and hip-hop, but there was no ‘hip’ to this ‘hop.'”
20. “Should I bring my roller skates next time? Because I could’ve swore it morphed into a roller rink.”
21. “No women’s basketball game on!? What!? I did go to a LESBIAN bar, right? It boggles the mind.”
22. “I said [to the bartender], “just make whatever you can make really well.” She said, “Um, Jameson on the rocks?”
23. “While I appreciate that this is one of the only Lesbian bars that is in Manhattan for whatever reason. I HATE THAT THIS PLACE DOES NOT TAKE DEBIT OR CREDIT CARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
24. “In retrospect, I wish they’d have Dante’s famous creed above the door – Abandon all hope, ye who enter here – because little did we know, we just passed through the gates of lesbian hell.”
25. “Over 2.5 hours of waiting, and no chance to sing. Do not come here if you actually want a chance to sing. Signed up about 3 hours before closing and still got no chance to sing! Do not come here unless you have at least 4 hours of waiting to sing to spare.”
26. “A girl named Nicole stole my purse and her family members had something to do with it.”
27. “If you’ve ever read Radclyffe Hall’s “The Well of Loneliness,” you know all about lesbians and depression. Well, if not, feel free to recreate that experience by attending [this bar].”
28. “The patrons there were lucky I didn’t use my ninja skills on their @$$!!!”
29. “We ended up going to TGI Friday’s.”
Listling With Minimal Commentary: Selections From Anti-Lesbian Bridal Salon’s 868 Yelp Reviews
Alx (Sarah J. Glover / Staff Photographer Philadelphia Inquirer)
As you may have heard, “Here Comes the Bride,” a bridal shop in New Jersey, prohibited a lesbian from purchasing a wedding dress at their store, citing Alix Genter’s same-sex wedding as an “illegal action.”
The Proverbial “People” have reacted by yelping the hell out of HCTB’s unit and Donna Saber, Alix’s salesperson. Some are crying foul on this strategy, saying that’s not what yelp! is for — but it’s worth noting that the shop sucked regardless of homophobia to begin with Look, they’re sizeist too!.
According to C-NET, yelp will be taking down the majority of these reviews because “while Yelp does not support any sort of discrimination, reviews of businesses on Yelp should be about the customer experience not the views of a business or its employees.”
Hopefully comments like this will stay up, however:
Regardless of how this pans out on yelp, New Jersey Law is pretty clear that Donna’s the one committing an “illegal action” here:
Like many other states, including California, New York, Illinois, and Colorado, New Jersey bars sexual orientation discrimination in places of public accommodation.. Most statutes define public accommodations as places that are open to the public, such as a business, hotel, entertainment venue, restaurant, and doctor’s office.”
So, before yelp gets rid of all these wonderful supportive reviews, we’ve made a listling of highlights from people who gave “Here Comes the Bride” a rating of “one star”.
+
Listling: Lines Pulled From One-Star Reviews of “Here Comes the Bride” on Yelp!
1. Who the hell would buy a wedding dress from a mall called “Acme-Kmart Somers Point Plaza”
2. They should be legally required to change their name to “Here Comes The Bride, Unless She’s A Lesbian.”
3. It was illegal in Hitler’s Germany to help the Jews – and where did that get them?
4. A Bible-based marriage is between 1 man, 700 wives and 300 live-in whores for a grand total of 1000 vaginas. 1 Kings 11:1-3
5. Were you repeatedly dropped on your head as a child????
6. Donna pooped on my wedding dress before I got it!!! I couldn’t believe it. On MY day! Actual POOP!
7. Some of the cutest women I’ve met were lesbians.
8. Odds are she hates Asians too.
9. i bought a dress from here and there was a MUMMIFIED MONKEY HAND SEWN IN. What kind of sick voodoo dress shop IS THIS PLACE!?!?
10. Homosexual Agenda: Spend Time with Family. Be Treated Equally. Buy Milk — Stop screwing up our plans!
11. Sadly, you will probably remain the same, pathetic, sad little person you are with a dead business due to your own ignorance until you shrivel up and die alone.
12. Taste the Rainbow!
13. The gay isn’t contagious, Donna. You won’t catch it from any of us, and trust me–no one wants the toaster we’d get for “converting” you.
14. Do your damn job. You sell wedding dresses next to a K-Mart.
15. Forget about politics, this store sells the kind of junky gowns you see the crazy brides on BRIDEZILLAS wearing.
16. When I asked to speak with the manager about their obviously intoxicated employees, the manager called me a c*nt and kicked me out of the store! Don’t ever shop here!
17. You should try it sometime. Who knows, maybe you’d like it.*wink wink*
18. I bet at least half of the dresses sold at her shop are designed by who??? Gay and proud designers!!
19. There goes the bride….
20. Donna, two brides means TWICE the dresses sold!
21. Tried to find the place on a map, but apparently they’re stuck somewhere in 1956.
22. I bought a dress here once and it had lice on it.
23. You really shouldn’t be in this business if you do not have a full belief in the power of love.