A new trailer has finally — FINALLY — dropped for Ocean’s 8 a.k.a. Ocean’s Gayt a.k.a. Good God If None Of The Women Are Gay In This Movie Then I Am Going To Take To The Streets.
In December of 2016, I posited that Cate Blanchett is most certainly playing a coat-loving lesbian heistmaster, and the film’s first trailer added fuel to that gay fire by making it look like Blanchett and Sandra Bullock’s characters are most definitely exes who are reconnecting through elaborate crimes. Plus, Blanchett crosses her legs in the trailer in a way that is just simply gay — no follow-up questions. Erin took it a step further, ranking of every character in the Ocean’s 8 trailer by top energy.
The new trailer includes some very important moments like Cate Blanchett and Sandra Bullock scheming in trenches that could give Atomic Blonde a run for its money, Cate Blanchett wearing a vest, Rihanna playing with a pool ball in an incredibly erotic way, Sarah Paulson wearing various Mommi sweaters, Cate Blanchett pretty much straddling Rihanna while wearing a blue velvet blazer?! Is this the stylish queer heist movie I have been waiting my whole life for? GOD I HOPE SO.
But perhaps even more important than the new trailer, which I’ve already watched eight times, are the new character spotlights that came out yesterday. This one stands out in particular:
Cate Blanchett is Lou. See the new #Oceans8 trailer tomorrow. pic.twitter.com/3bVCt2McBX
— Oceans8Movie (@oceans8movie) April 11, 2018
Here we learn that Blanchett’s character is named Lou. Lou! This is perhaps the gayest news to come out of the movie so far. A straight woman going by Lou? Sounds fake.
See the new #Oceans8 trailer tomorrow. @oceans8movie @mindykaling @annehathaway @badgalriri @awkwafina also the perfect #sandrabullock #cateblanchett #helenabonhamcarter 🙌🏼🙌🏼 pic.twitter.com/TulPKNFx9b
— Sarah Paulson (@MsSarahPaulson) April 11, 2018
And then here, Sarah Paulson pronounces “gala” as “gayla.” Sounds like she is speaking in coded lesbianism to me tbh.
Ocean’s 8 comes out (if u know what I mean) on June 8, 2018, and I have never been more ready for anything in my life.
I failed to bring my headphones to work today and I am so upset! However, I have watched the trailer multiple times now without sound and the visuals alone are swoon-worthy.
Me every time two characters interact (it doesn’t even matter who tbh):
Bahahaha, yes! So much yes!
This is hilarious. I’m saving that. lol
I hope this wins a comment award.
imagine the deal cate blanchett made with the goddess of the sea and the light to get a fucking face like that i mean just imagine it.
let’s not forget her body
I feel like people are focusing so much on Cate that they’re forgetting about Helena Bonham Carter. I have my money on her being the movie’s gay-la
I have wanted Helena to play gay since I saw Twelfth Night.
Caitlin – Same. So in my mind, I just make her gay in every movie. It works out fine.
Good life choice!
Although it kind of did make me awkwardly sympathetic to Bellatrix Lestrange. ahem
I love a villain so that was never a problem for me :D
You never disappoint Kayla.
The amount of velvet on Cate Blanchett ALONE makes this movie worthwhile
Are you tipping us to Cate’s velvet?
Comment award right here
bravo *hands clapping*
Well I’m definitely gayer than ever.
The decision to cast Anne “Has Never Once Pinged” Hathaway as the Straight Foil to allllllll these queerdos is INSPIREDDDDDDDDD
Kayla I love you thank you for your incredible speed in bringing us this essential content
cate in that leopard print coat … mrrroww
Rihanna said “game on.” Y’all know she’s talkin’ bout softball.
https://giphy.com/gifs/bridesmaids-6Gk6B0IqMKphK
#GaymeOn
All gay. ALL GAY. A-L-L G-A-Y.
All gay every gay
Am I the only one hoping Rihanna is Cate’s gf in this?
But, but, but the word “gala” IS pronounced “gay-luh” in American English…
I think in this movie it’s actually pronounced gal-pal-ah
Wasn’t Anne Hathaway’s character named Daphne? I’ve met two other Daphnes in real life and they were definitely not straight, so my money is on Hathaway.
Wow, were you all together at the same time ? Like, a gay Daphne coven ? Just Wow
my ex is named Daphne SO
Cate still had her rock-hard “Thor: Ragnarok” thighs. We’re all gonna die.
Judging by the way Bullock walks I think she’s the lesbian!
I mean if this movie has no queer women it’ll be the greatest disappointment of the year for sure.
It’ll condemn us to fix that with lots of gifs and fics for the rest of our lives and that’s very unfair!
Well if PLL has taught me anything it’s that out of four female characters one is gay so my money is on Cate and Sarah
I’m crying bc this movie might turn out to be the best b-day present ever
It’s 20GAYTEEN ya’ll, and if none of these characters is a lesbian, I am rioting. At least I know there will be some fanfic to comfort me.
Does anybody else get mad Shane vibes from Lou? Like if Shane grew up and got a better job and was blonde
I am 100% here for Cate Blanchett’s real accent.