Did You Know You Can Test The pH Balance Of Your Vagina In Your Very Own Home?

I’m going to be honest with you: this post is happening because no one responded to my query on Twitter.

https://twitter.com/vanessapamela/status/1214393664308428801

As an extremely anxious person who constantly thinks I might have a yeast infection or bacterial vaginosis (spoiler: I almost never actually have a yeast infection or bacterial vaginosis, my gynecologist is usually highly confused why I’ve brought my healthy vagina in to see her) imagine my joy, surprise, alarm, and dismay when I learned that there are strips that you can use to test your vaginal pH in your very own home?!?! Joy, that such a product exists, surprise, that no one ever told my anxious ass about them, alarm, that I have wasted so much money on co-pays at the gynecologist when I could have been dealing with my mostly-hypochondriac issues at home, dismay, that the online reviews for this product are so mixed. It was a roller coaster of emotion, I’ll tell you what.

Incase you’re not quite as intimately familiar as I am with the literature surrounding yeast and BV on the internet, one of the ways you can tell if you have BV (rather than a yeast infection) is if the pH in your vagina is off. This isn’t fool proof, obviously, and everything you read will tell you if you’re not certain what’s going on you should go to your doctor, but, who has the time or money to go visit the doctor every time you’re just a tiny bit anxious that something might be off with your vagina?!?!?! Wouldn’t it be cool if you could, at the very least, check your pH so you could then make an informed decision about what to probably panic about? (Is this not in fact how everyone lives?)

You might be expecting me to review different brands of vaginal pH strips now, or to share with you my findings about which one is best, but nope, I won’t be doing any of that because I personally have never tried these babies. I want to hear from people who have! Were they accurate? Did you like them? Did knowing the pH of your vagina help calm your anxieties and moisturize your skin and condition your hair and revive your crops and save your whole goddamn life? Just wondering.

PS: Also open to discussing home cures for yeast infections and BV! We’ve discussed that quite a bit over the years here at Autostraddle, but it’s 2020 – I’m down for some updated info.

You Need Help: When a Yeast Infection is Cramping Your Sex Style

Welcome to You Need Help! Where you’ve got a problem and yo, we solve it. Or we at least try.

Q: Since coming out, discovering feminism, and meeting my girlfriend, I’ve worked hard to learn how to love my body and avoid being ashamed of my desires. For the last year or so, I’ve been super proud of my ladyparts and my sexuality and what my body can do, becoming a pretty outspoken sex-positive person. However, for the last 5-6 months I’ve gotten recurrent yeast infections (same day each month, on the dot) and it’s hard to feel excited and sexy when my vag is burning. I’ve tried every over-the-counter product, every home remedy, and every lifestyle and diet change, Diflucan prescription–nothing works. I’m going to the doctor soon, but in the meantime, I miss feeling confident in my body and sexuality. I would love any tips to boost my confidence and continue my sex-fiendish-ways during the week out of every month that I feel horrible, disgusting, unattractive, and yeasty. Please don’t tell me to eat plain yogurt, take vinegar baths, talk to a gyno, stuff garlic up there, have my gf brush her teeth before oral, try cranberry juice, try yoga, buy Monistat, wear only cotton, sleep naked, blow dry my vulva after showers, boil my towels, take probiotics, avoid scented soap or powder, and use condoms on my [100% silicone] toys or vegan hypoallergenic non-flavored lube – I already have tried all those things. The physical problem is something I’m consulting my doctor about after these treatment failures. This is more of an emotional, sexual and body-confidence problem. I couldn’t think of a better place to ask.

A: Hello, radiant sunflower. How are you doing today? Are you wearing loose-fitting underoos and pants? Are you managing the itch? In all seriousness though, I’ve been there. In fact, as you may have heard, a lot of us in the Autostraddle family sympathize with your situation. I had a recurring yeast issue for about a year and it happened, of course, at the very beginning of a very sexy relationship (also my current relationship). Surprisingly, to me at the time, the constant presence of yeasty beasties did not put my partner off. It did mean we had to think ahead a bit about how to keep things safe and comfy, though.

Depending on how your body is responding, you may have an itching or burning sensation, a very tender and sore vulva, atypical discharge or odor. There are lots of ways that yeast declares its presence. And yeah, when your body does things that society has deemed gross or weird, (especially when it comes to our private parts, that we are already culturally shamed about) it can snuff out your sexual self esteem.

From a very young age, we all get the cultural message that our private parts are naughty. For people with vaginas this is especially true and the message is that vaginas are dirty, that they smell bad, that they are not to be touched, and that they do uncontrollably gross stuff like bleed. So it makes sense that when your vagina actually is doing something that makes you feel unclean, gross, and out of control, those feelings of shame and dirtiness can come rushing back.

First off, yeast infections are really, really, really common. 75% of people with vaginas will have one in their lifetime. Chronic yeast infections (defined as four or more in a year) are also pretty common. You are definitely not alone. It sounds like you have done lots of Googling and doctoring and treating and are working that out for yourself, so I won’t go into treatment or causes. I’m sure you have a lot of info already.

Let’s get down to business. The business of getting down to business with an itchy vag. It is actually very safe to do so as long as you are using barrier methods to protect your partner and are engaging in sex that feels good. You deserve to feel good. There is nothing gross about you. You just may need to change how you’re doing it during the week you have an infection.

Knowing that you are safe and sanitary, so you don’t give your infection to your partner, can go a long way to relaxing into sexual pleasure. Stock up on gloves, so your partner can change them as necessary and touch you without having to run to the bathroom to use antibacterial soap in between positions. Dental dams (or non-microwaveable saran wrap) are good to have on hand. I know a lot of people are like, eww, dental dams, but dental dams are great! And if you are self-conscious about smell or texture of discharge, they create a nice, clean barrier. Put lube directly on your genitals before applying a dental dam to make it feel “wetter” through the dam. If you are using toys or your partner has a penis that they use for sex, of course keep condoms on hand. You don’t want to give your yeast infection to your partner and, if you are using barrier methods for safer sex, you won’t have to worry about it and can just enjoy the moment.

Take your time more, if you are feeling self-conscious about sex with a yeast infection. Don’t assume that sex will feel the same or include the same activities as it does when you are yeast-free. Before you get into bed, explain to your partner what is off limits or what you want to try, how you want to approach sex. Maybe you don’t want your genitals touched at all. Maybe you don’t plan to get off and just want to focus on your partner’s pleasure. Maybe there are certain things you typically do that are painful and you want to modify them. Take a lot of time warming up, getting into the mood. Sex, in general, and especially when you are having vaginal discomfort, will feel a lot better if you are wet and turned on before you get started.

So let’s talk about things to try in bed. Obviously, a yeast infection can make vaginal penetration uncomfortable or even painful. And, of course, if penetration doesn’t feel good, your partner can still engage in direct clitoral stimulation with fingers or tongue (with a dental dam). However, if you want the feeling of penetration, but the toys or things you enjoy (like fisting) are too intense with a yeast infection, try using something smaller. Your partner’s hands, covered with a glove, can feel really great. With fingers, there is a lot more control over depth, pressure, girth, etc. A gloved hand also feels really nice and slippery when lubricated and could even be soothing to your burning itch. Of course, stop if it doesn’t feel good.

If penetrative sex is too uncomfortable, physically or emotionally, you can do lots of other sexy stuff with a partner. One thing that we did when I was having recurring and painful infection issues was a sexy photo shoot with me as the subject and my partner as the photographer. I actually just came across these NSFW photos in a box this past weekend and I still love them. If you aren’t having the body confidence that you’d usually have, wearing your favorite sexy undergarments (or not) and posing for your partner can be really validating and fun. And you’ll have some sexy boudoir photos! Don’t assume that it will lead to sex. Don’t worry about sex. Just have fun together, snap some sexy pics, and see where it goes.

The same goes for role-playing or for engaging in kinky play that doesn’t involve penetrative sex. If you like a good spanking, go for it! If you’d like to do a role play where you focus on servicing your partner, that could be really fun and sexy. A sexy scene doesn’t have to end with sex and if you do want to get off, but don’t want to be touched, there are other ways.

If being touched by your partner while you have a yeast infection makes you squirmish, but you want to get off with them, you could engage in mutual masturbation, watching each other get yourselves off. Obviously, this can be totally hot. Or you could ask your partner to do what I call “assisted masturbation.” This is like mutual masturbation in that only you are touching your genitals, but your partner can touch you anywhere above the waist in ways that turn you on. They can kiss you, nibble your neck, pull your hair, whisper in your ear, spank you, dry hump you from behind, whatever helps you get turned on. The sexual focus is 100% on you. Then, if your partner wants, you can return the favor by getting them off or helping them get off.

Lastly, don’t forget about the butt. When your vulva is sensitive, it can be a great time to have fantastic anal sex. Or play with toys like safe butt plugs.

I hope this gives you some ideas to make your itchy week a little hotter and not in a burning painful way. At the end of the day, it all comes down to you deciding and believing that you are still sexy when you have a yeast infection. And if you decide that you really just don’t want to have sex that week, well that is OK, too. You’re not a bad feminist or bad queer girl for not wanting to do it all day, every day. You are a sexy, attractive, and fantastic person with a vagina that itches sometimes (which is totally normal and common) and don’t let anyone tell you any differently.

Send your questions to youneedhelp [at] autostraddle [dot] com or submit a question via the ASK link on autostraddle.tumblr.com. Please keep your questions to around, at most, 100 words. Due to the high volume of questions and feelings, not every question or feeling will be answered or published on Autostraddle. We hope you know that we love you regardless.

Top 9 Cures We’ve Found For Chronic Yeast Infections

Disclaimer: This is definitely not anything remotely resembling actual medical advice. None of us are doctors or other medical professionals, we’re just people with vaginas who want to talk to each other about our health, our bodies, and ourselves. 

I bet you’re excited for this goop to leak out of you every morning for seven days

Living your normal life while battling a raging yeast infection is the actual worst. For starters, you can’t tell anybody what ails you and therefore must pretend like everything is fine even though absolutely nothing is fine. It’s also tough to figure out if the Monistat or Vagisil is making it itch more or itch less, and pondering this can easily consume all of your waking hours. Furthermore, everybody you do tell about your problem keeps telling you to eat yogurt and wear cotton underpants, AS IF YOU WEREN’T ALREADY.

This is one of those women’s health issues that seems like it would’ve been figured out by now if it was a men’s health issue. Talk to enough women and it sounds like nobody’s getting the same treatment or having the same experience, and all of our doctors just continue recommending more yogurt.

Plus, if you live in the U.S. and are on a low-income health plan, you’ll likely have to truck on over to the Planned Parenthood and wait for hours to get evaluated and receive your Diflucan every single time you get a yeast infection. For some reason, doctors who aren’t “your doctor” are hesitant to prescribe multiple doses or do any of it over the phone.

Here are some of the things that worked for us when we struggled with chronic recurring yeast infections. Monistat-3, unfortunately, is not among them.

1. Going off the birth control pill

None of us went off the pill to cure chronic yeast infections, but rather found that going off the pill for other reasons had the pleasant result of squashing the chronic yeast infections.

2. Garlic Cloves

“I cut a couple of slits in it and just shove it up there.”

“My friend made me put a garlic clove up my vag and gave me cranberry pills. I woke up smelling like breadsticks but ultimately felt better re: my yeast levels.”

Our favorite yeast infection website suggests the following:

To try it, find yourself a fresh clove of garlic and carefully peel all the papery skin off it. Next, make a little tampony thing by wrapping it in gauze or cheesecloth, tying the ends with unwaxed dental floss, and leaving a bit of string dangling so you’ll be able to pull it out afterward. Now, believe it or not, insert it into your vagina. Don’t worry about losing it up there, because of course it can’t get through your cervix. Leave it in for several hours at a time, like overnight, and be sure to remove it in the morning.

3. Boric Acid

“I had chronic yeast infections for years, I tried everything that’s ever been suggested in the history of the universe except this one thing that sounded super weird — boric acid. It was my very last resort and the only thing that worked. It’s a powder generally used to kill roaches, you get it at a drugstore, put it in some empty  “0” vegetable capsules, and stick two up there every night until it’s gone. And it’s cheap! No clue why this works when nothing else does, but bless it.”

4. A Lot Of Diflucan

“Fluconazole (diflucan) is the only thing that worked for me to clear my recurring issues – I had to take several doses in a row.”

“I always take Diflucan on top of whatever DIY methods I use. It gets worse for a day and then gets better, but it always eventually works, which is more than I can say for the other methods. But I think I did build tolerance to it over time.”

5. Acidophilus Paste

“When I had a chronic yeast infection it was tea tree oil for external itch and acidophilus paste directly crammed up there that fixed it finally. I dipped tampons in my acidophilus paste or diluted tee tree oil and that seemed to help.”

6. Two Diflucan + Seven Days of Terazol

“Doing seven days of a prescription yeast-killing vaginal cream was a living hell, of course, but doing that in conjunction with a diflucan on the first day and another three days later did clear things up for a significant stretch of time.”

7. Taking Preventative Measures

“Now if I feel even a bit itchy for any reason I take a diflucan, two cranberry pills, acidophilus and garlic pills. Plus vitamin D and two ibuprofen for good measure. Duh.”

“Boric acid can be used preventatively without any negative side effects, in my experience. If I think I feel one coming on, I just put in a capsule overnight.”

“If I’m being put on antibiotics for any reason I also ask for two Diflucan to be prescribed to me in tandem because I will get a yeast infection.”

“I only use non-scented soaps to wash down there, like Cetaphil.”

“I always get my diflucan written as one pill today, one pill in three days and one pill a week for six weeks which usually gets me like six months to a year yeast free. Which is a fucking blessing.”

“I convince my doctor here to give me larger scripts of stuff and she does but I have to tell her to. I just use the excuse that it costs me the same to fill one pill or 20, so can she give me 20? That seems to work more than the Hey I actually am not an idiot and probably can figure out how to take this medicine on my own route.”

8. Tea Tree Oil (for the itching)

“I know tea tree oil is supposedly too astringent for your sensitive bits but I totally still use it if I feel a little itchy and it fucking works every time.”

9. Probably Not The Candida Diet, But Giving Up Sugar Could Help

“I tried the candida diet! I mostly ignored everything it (just the Internet) said and just ate/drank no sugar for a few months and at first it got worse and then it got better.”

“I tried the candida diet for about a month. It was fucking awful.”

“I went basically raw vegan and it was the most miserable like… five days? And did nothing. Then I was just hungry and angry on top of having a yeast infection.”

Okay y’all, it’s your turn: what worked (or didn’t) for you?