Revisiting Iconic Pride Scenes From Film and Television
Pride month is nearing, and I thought it might be fun to look at on-screen depictions of Pride through the years. It turns out…there aren’t that many? I thought perhaps there was just a gap in my knowledge, but even when I tapped other queer film/tv critics to assist with this list, it didn’t get much longer! I thought surely there’d be DOZENS? Where is the 200 Cigarettes-esque multistory, sprawling cast Pride comedy we deserve?! Actually, don’t take that idea. I might wanna do that idea.
Also, I’m hoping the Billy Porter-directed teen comedy set at Pride being made by Gabrielle Union’s production company is still in the works, but I feel like I haven’t heard any new information about it in a couple years.
I do think part of the reason it’s rare to find Pride scenes is because of budget reasons! It’d be expensive and difficult to film a Pride parade or major event in a way that feels realistic. It makes sense to me that Sense8 is on this list twice given the sheer size of that show’s large-scale production budget! Also, it makes sense to me that a lot of Pride scenes film at actual Pride events rather than staging them. Some shows have referenced Gay Pride even if they don’t explicitly show Pride events, like Pose and Generation Q.
Here are some of the (rare!) moments from film and television that explicitly depict Pride celebrations. I’m sure I missed some though, so be sure to shout them out in the comments!
Pride docuseries
Okay, this is an obvious one to include, but the 2021 FX docuseries Pride documents LGBTQ+ resistance and activism from the 1950s to the 2000s. It’s worth a watch! I’m skipping over some documentaries on this list, because I’m going to do a separate Pride piece that centers docs, but this series feels right to include on this list as a starting point.
Pride (2014)
This movie really captures the political and activism aspects of Gay Pride, focusing on the group Lesbians and Gays Support the Miners, which advocated for a Welsh mining community. Collective action! Protesting! Being loud and proud and fighting the system! This is what Pride’s all about.
The Truth About Jane (2000)
Ah, yes, the time Stockard Channing plays mother to a teen lesbian coming out the closet and does not take it well but then eventually goes to a Pride parade as she learns to accept her gay daughter! I wish this very 2000 movie hadn’t made me cry when I watched it the first time, but ALAS!!!!!! We get to see the parade from young Jane’s POV, and it got me. She’s taking it all in — the signs, the shirts, the smiling and cheering queers living out and proud. The movie is free to stream online.
BPM (2017)
Set in 1990s France, the French movie BPM follows ACT UP Paris activists. There’s a lot to love about this movie, and I in particular am drawn to the tension within the group about how to best show up for Pride. Some members want to take a more serious approach to mourn lives lost, but some of our central characters want to take a more joyful and cheerful approach to celebrating queer lives. I think this tension and plurality ties very well into the theme of Autostraddle’s Pride package this year, which will be revealed soon 👀
South of Nowhere, “Gay Pride”
The third season of South of Nowhere indeed featured an episode literally called “Gay Pride,” which saw the return of the show’s popular ship “Spashley.” Just typing “Spashley” awakened something dormant in me.
Queer as Folk, “Pride”
The Pride episode of Queer as Folk aired in 2002 and is centered on the characters attending Pittsburgh’s Gay Pride parade. It has it all! Pride ex drama! Baby gay first Pride fears! Dykes on bikes!
The L Word, “Loud & Proud“
Given the subject matter and scope, it’s a little surprising we don’t have like…75 episodes of The L Word to choose from when it comes to on-screen depictions of Pride. Instead, we pretty much just have season two, episode 11, “Loud & Proud.” We head to West Hollywood Pride in the episode, and I’d say that the most Pride thing about this episode are the outfits that make you experience a full spectrum of reactions. Alice at one point is in a red terrycloth romper and a rainbow boa, and it all makes you go “huh” but also “could be cute?” What is Pride if not perplexing fashion-wise!
Harlem, “Pride”
In Harlem‘s second season, Tye takes Quinn to her first Pride after coming out — she comes dressed wig-to-toe in a homemade outfit! — and the comedy of errors of one of the longest days on the queer calendar is not quite what Quinn expected. Meanwhile, Tye ends up on a journey of self-discovery, confronts her past, and grapples with what her legacy means as a queer small business owner in service of her community. It’s joy-filled but also nuanced look at the range of feelings queer people have about Pride, and is also one of the only depictions of Black community celebrations of Pride on television.
Boomerang, “Family”
Like Harlem, Lena Waithe’s Boomerang stands out by focusing its depiction of Pride on voice and celebrations that are often otherwise left at the margins — this time on Atlanta’s annual Black Pride festival. This is what Carmen had to say when the episode first aired in 2019:
“Most striking is that we not only see Tia and Ari comfortable in their own Black queer skin, but that the director chooses to highlight – via portrait style close ups – a variety of festival goers. Black trans women and men, Black studs and butches, Black femmes of all genders, Black drag performers, Black masc gay men – the whole family is accounted for. And we’re happy, we’re smiling, we’re…. Proud. There is not a single second in the episodes 22 minute run time where Black queer folks are asked to check any part of ourselves at the door. It’s unforgettable and, quite frankly, revolutionary.”
Vanderpump Rules, “Your Pride’s Showing”
While I won’t include every single Bravo Pride moment (because a lot of them center straight women!), this Vanderpump Rules episode from season eight is important, because it was the first Pride episode of VPR that main cast member Ariana Madix was out as bisexual for. In fact, I wrote about it when it first aired. Newer (and short-lived) cast member Dayna (pictured above) also came out as bisexual at Pride that year. Now is when I must confess that my fiancé Kristen and I have a deranged annual Pride tradition — that we do on the morning of Orlando Pride, which doesn’t happen until October — of watching all the Pride episodes of Vanderpump Rules. Yes, Pride episodes are an annual tradition for this show (though they’ve sadly stopped doing them recently), and yes they often focus way more on the straight cast members’ drama than the actual queer ones, but they still just really capture the vibe of Pride.
Real Housewives of Atlanta, “The Float Goes On”
My favorite thing about this episode is that it airs one episode after Cynthia Bailey’s daughter Noelle opens up about being sexually fluid to her mom in a really sweet scene. Then just one episode later, we get to see them going to New York for World Pride together! There are some classic Housewives shenanigans that go down on the float unfortunately, but I like that it’s also a touching mother daughter moment between Cynthia and Noelle!
Southern Hospitality, “Pride and Peanut Butter”
This is one of my favorite Pride episodes on Bravo, because it’s the one that manages to center LGBTQ+ cast members the most. There are still some straight shenanigans (I won’t even explain what the “peanut butter” in the title means, but you can Google it”), but for the most part, this episode really is about Mikel and TJ, the show’s queer main cast members — who also are kind of frenemies but still come together in this episode to throw a killer Pride party. Mikel’s coming out journey is documented across the season as he reckons with his religious upbringing and familial relationships. TJ opens up in the episode about how he never really formally came out to his parents. It’s a really moving depiction of a range of queer experiences in the South, and the whole time I was watching it, I was mumbling “Vanderpump Rules could never.”
Sense8, “Isolated Above, Connected Below”
The sixth episode of Sense8‘s second season features the previously closeted Lito making the boldest public declaration of his own queerness by participating in São Paulo’s Pride parade. The scene was filmed at São Paolo’s actual Pride celebrations!!!!! It has all the hallmarks of a big, spectacular Sense8 set piece while also being…real! It’s such a celebratory and fun scene that it would easily be one of my favorite on-screen Pride moments of all time if it weren’t for the fact that Sense8 had already topped it a season before, which brings us to…
Sense8, “Limbic Resonance”
I have saved the best for last. This is easily my favorite Pride scene of all time as well as the moment I first fell in love with Sense8. It happens in the first few minutes of the show’s pilot. Amanita fucks Nomi with a rainbow strap-on, takes it off, and wishes her gorgeous girlfriend a happy Pride. It’s a lovely, hot, wet scene of intimate and joyful queer and trans sex. Happy Pride indeed!!!!
Later, we see Nomi and Amanita out and about celebrating Pride, and they reflect on their first Pride together. It’s really sweet and sweetly real! This is why I’m surprised Pride doesn’t crop up in film and television more often! Sure, there are plenty of individuals and couples who don’t make a point to attend designated Pride events on the regular, but it’s a big part of a lot of queer people’s lives! Even just complaining about [corporate] Pride is a big part of being queer! Nomi and Amanita always felt like a strikingly realistic lesbian couple to me, and the fact that we meet them on Pride and they reflect on their first Pride together actually heightens that!
Some Bravo Dyke Thoughts on the Vanderpump Rules Finale Trailer
After it leaked online, Bravo had to move faster than DJ James Kennedy running from Pump to SUR with his DJ equipment between gigs to get up a full version of the season 10 Vanderpump Rules finale trailer, which teases some of the most explosive Scandoval moments yet.
If you’re like “what the fuck is Scandoval and why does it sound like a mid alt pop music group”, well, it is a portmanteau of “Sandoval,” one of the SURnames of the two Toms who are part of the Bravo reality television series Vanderpump Rules, and the word “scandal.” The scandal in question is, in short, that Tom Sandoval cheated on his longtime girlfriend Ariana Madix with fellow castmember Raquel Leviss. I’ve written about the sordid details before. And if you’re like “okay but why is the managing editor of Autostraddle following this so closely and writing about it here”, I’m sorry but this is taking up an untoward amount of my brain space and is the only television show lately that feels like a genuine escape. I don’t know how to explain the potency of this drama to the uninitiated!!!! It’s somehow the most engrossing reality television twist of recent years! If it sounds very stupid to you, just don’t read this!
Plus, I have a column called Bravo Dyke, so it just feels right to keep touching down on Scandoval, which is also a frequent topic of discussion in my very lesbian household. Also, Ariana is bisexual, so that makes this narrative relevant to this website for lesbians, bisexuals, and queer people, okay?! In fact, Ariana recently had to defend her own bisexuality when a fan responded to the false rumors that she was in an open relationship by asking if she’s no longer bisexual, prompting Ariana to say something that goes without saying here at Autostraddle: “bisexual ≠ polyamorous.” These are not interchangeable words, people!
The season 10 preview is indeed very juicy but sadly does not include as many Bad Hats as the midseason trailer did. This is especially a personal affront to me, because when my preferred way to watch straight people on television is for them to be wearing Bad Hats.
Take a look at the Vanderpump Rules finale trailer:
We see Sandoval telling Scheana he was planning to break up with Ariana, and Scheana pointing out that he didn’t though and instead chose to cheat with Ariana’s friend. I do think this line would have been better delivered in a comically large hat, but I digress, Scheana is correct here. We also finally see the conversation between Sandoval and Ariana that results in her screaming “I don’t give a fuck about fucking RAQUEL,” a line we’d previously only seen delivered without audio in the midseason trailer.
She says this in response to Sandoval saying he and Raquel just became really good friends, and you know, I actually find a lot of peace in the fact that his words sound familiar. My friend said she doesn’t usually like cheating/affair stories — whether they’re in scripted or unscripted series, books, etc. — because they’re boring. She’s right! There’s not a lot of new ground to break there. It’s definitely why, when it comes to scripted series in particular, cheating as a plot device can seem so lazy. But there’s something about the mundanity and cliches in the way Sandoval talks about “why” he cheated that’s oddly soothing. It’s like, yeah, these people are unoriginal! They think they found something special or are uniquely tortured individuals, but they’re not! They’re just like everyone else who chooses to cheat rather than break up because it’s the “easier” thing to do.
There are a lot of reasons why I think Scandoval feels like such a riveting moment in reality television, and perhaps at the end of the season I’ll dig deep into all of them, but I do think part of it is rooted in the same reason Kelsey McKinney’s podcast “Normal Gossip” is so popular. Scandoval is packaged explosively, and the reality television context adds a few layers, but at the end of the day, the drama is pretty commonplace, and we can view it without opening ourselves up to any scrutiny or drama ourselves.
Anyway, the trailer ends with a genuine jumpscare by revealing the owner of a pair of strappy sandals ominously approaching the camera to be none other than Kristen Doute, Sandoval’s ex girlfriend who accused him of cheating on HER with ARIANA back in the day. But Kristen and Ariana are now friends, because the relationship dynamics in this friend group are impossible to predict and as unstable as they come.
Bravo Dyke Reacts to the Vanderpump Rules Midseason Trailer
As far as my gay ass is concerned, the only two appointment television shows for the foreseeable future are Yellowjackets and Vanderpump Rules. The latter released its midseason trailer yesterday, and after dissecting it with multiple group chats, watching it approximately 35 times, and huddling with my fiancé to discuss, I am now here to perform my duties as our resident Bravo Dyke. The midseason trailer is a work of art, full stop, and just a glimpse of the melodrama that’s about to shatter this friend group, who are decidedly not in the best days of their lives atm, despite what the theme song might claim.
A couple weeks ago, I broke down “Scandoval,” the brilliant nickname given to the ongoing affair drama between Tom Sandoval, his longtime partner and bisexual icon Ariana Madix, and Raquel Leviss. Long story short: Sandoval and Raquel have been having an affair. The second this came to light, the cameras were rolling. We’re going to watch this play out in real-time, which is reality gold. The past two episodes of Vanderpump Rules were shot, edited, and finalized before the scandal came out and were not altered after the fact. But moving forward with the season, we’re going to get the affair and its aftermath. The filming crew, producers, and editors have basically reworked whatever was originally going to be the back half of season 10 to now focus on the Scandoval. Give them Emmys, give them Pulitzers, give them Nobel Peace Prizes.
Just take a look at the trailer. As my Bravo Dyke Colleague Christina Tucker puts it: “This is A24.”
The #PumpRules midseason trailer is here! pic.twitter.com/flcCTqi8eS
— Queens of Bravo (@queensofbravo) March 20, 2023
Just like the Yellowjackets season two trailer, there is a lot to unpack here! Sure, maybe no one is getting eaten, but we do have Katie Maloney saying she wants to “light the both on fucking fire” (presumably talking about Sandoval and Raquel). I have no doubts she wouldn’t hunt them down, Yellowjackets-style.
We also get a glimpse of who I assume is Katie’s much younger post-divorce actor boy toy. We see Raquel make out with TOM SCHWARTZ, who is the Tom we assumed she’d be getting with this season when really he is a Decoy Tom meant to distract from the indiscretions of Tom Sandoval. It is unclear how long Schwartz knew about the affair between his bestie and Raquel, especially because the cast seems to be under a gag order by production until the season’s over — even Investigative Journalist Andy Cohen hasn’t been able to get many explicit answers out of them on Watch What Happens Live. We also get Ariana swimming naked in a pool, which seems kind of rude for the editors to include when it’s just an innocent moment of fun between her and her gay guy friend. Even though it’s just a quick moment, depicting her as promiscuous or like there was an open relationship when there wasn’t has a whiff of biphobia to it!
We also get some of the first interactions between Ariana and Sandoval immediately following the affair’s surfacing. Sandoval seems to be playing some sort of “we only had sex four times a year” card. You know what you can do when you’re unhappy in a relationship, bud? BREAK UP! But people stay thinking cheating is the easier route.
And now, some pertinent annotations of the Vanderpump Rules midseason trailer, which somehow devolves into Vanderpump Hats.
you know what I like to drink when my life implodes after bad choices I’ve made? Diet Squirt
a dispatch from colleague Christina: “incredible to include a shot of Lisa crying, Mommy is disappointed and y’all better fix it!!!!”
“I just wish you would compliment my hats more”
“YOUR HATS ARE STUPID”
“I like my hats like I like my men: secondhand”
“is anyone gonna say something about MY hat?”
“YOUR HAT’S BAD TOO”
With soap operatic flair, the Vanderpump Rules midseason trailer ends with melodramatic music playing under Sandoval asking Ariana if she wants anything and her responding, calmly: “for you to die.” Chills!
Now, can someone please convince other folks on the Autostraddle senior team to start watching the show so I do not feel so alone in our virtual office!!!! I simply need someone to water cooler chat with this about!!!
Bravo Dyke Weighs In on the Ariana, Sandoval, and Raquel “Vanderpump Rules” Scandal
Photo of Ariana Madix by Paul Archuleta / Contributor via Getty Images
In the words of one Bethenny Frankel……….it’s about Tom. And not the Tom we might have expected.
If you’re even half as invested in the Bravosphere as I am, then your phone was likely ablaze with notifications heading into the weekend, multiple group chats spread across multiple platforms simply agog and aghast by the breaking news coming out of PageSix: Raquel Leviss and Tom Sandoval of Vanderpump Rules are rumored to have been enmeshed in a months-long full-blown affair, unbeknownst by Sandoval’s longtime girlfriend Ariana until this week. And if actions by the show’s cast and crew in the past 48 hours are any indication, I’d say those rumors and anonymously sourced reports are very much likely true.
In case you’re here out of mere morbid curiosity and not one of those among us whose weekend was derailed by this news, here’s a bit of background, from recent history: There has been a lot of lead-up to the currently airing tenth season of Vanderpump Rules (a show I’ve aptly described as being about beautiful liars through the years in my brief bursts of coverage here) following a mostly mid ninth season of the series. But anticipation and intrigue accumulated following rumors — and subsequent cast confirmation — of illicit makeouts between Raquel, who got engaged last season but was broken up with DJ James Kennedy by the time of the reunion, and Tom Schwartz, the show’s second Tom. Now, these makeouts were technically above board, because between the ninth and tenth seasons, Schwartz and his wife Katie Maloney got divorced. What made it illicit was that Katie made it very clear to Schwartz that if they were to remain friends post-divorce, he could not hook up with a member of the friend group, making all cast members off limits. She also tells Raquel repeatedly over the course of the first few episodes of season 10 that it would very much hurt her feelings if anything were to happen between them. We’re now four episodes into season 10, and while no makeout has occurred, we know it’s coming, and we’ve seen Raquel proposition Schwartz for a makeout drunkenly at the concert of the truly atrocious cover band self-funded and fronted by the show’s other Tom, Tom Sandoval.
And apparently the Schwartz scandal is just the tip of the iceberg or a deflection or a chaotic tangent to what is otherwise the real scandal, because PageSix says Raquel and Tom SANDOVAL not Schwartz have been basically sexting for months and also want to be together????? Which is very much not above board, because Sandoval has been in a monogamous relationship with Ariana Madix (despite rumors of opening their relationship up, which recently circulated and Aria squashed) for many years now, and all reports and rumors suggest Ariana didn’t know about Raquel until this week, so basically until the rest of us knew, too. A bit of background, from more distant history: Ariana started as just a guest in season one of Vanderpump Rules ten years ago, but she became recurring in season two when scandal swirled around the possibility that Sandoval was cheating on his then-girlfriend Kristen Doute with her (which turned out eventually to be true). She became a regular in season three when she and Sandoval started dating officially, and they’ve been together ever since. Now, the reports on the affair allegations are all saying she has already kicked Sandoval to the curb.
Now, you may be wondering why I’m writing about this for Autostraddle specifically, where we focus on queer pop culture. Well, to start, Ariana is bisexual. She made a point to come out in season eight, going through some of the specific struggles of internalized biphobia that can occur when reckoning one’s bisexuality while in a relationship that can be perceived as straight by heteronormative standards and even stigmatized within parts of the queer community. Sandoval appeared to be a good partner during that journey, but we are truly not hear to pat any Toms on the back!
I suppose we should have seen this coming after rumors surfaced last year that Raquel had been seen making out with Tom at Coachella. We just had the wrong Tom. Everyone assumed it was Schwartz, not Sandoval! A practically Shakespearean incident of mistaken identity!
I’d love for my reaction to all this mess to simply be “I hope Ariana gets a girlfriend after all this!” and I certainly would love that for her. But what I actually feel is that I just hope Ariana is okay! Having been through a situation where someone I was dating was cheating with someone I knew and trusted, I cannot imagine the day I found out and its immediate aftermath being captured on television for people to consume, dissect, and form instant opinions about. Because, oh yeah, cameras are apparently very much rolling. I’ve seen some unconfirmed reports that Bravo cameras were actually present at the concert where Ariana first learned about the affair. But I’ve also seen credible evidence that the cast were all rounded up for emergency testimonials to react to the news, with cast member Lala Kent posting on her Instagram story while getting glammed up that she received permission from Ariana herself to torch the Toms.
Yes, I am using one of the affected players in this scandal’s bisexuality as a way in to write about it for Autostraddle, but I’m also just interested in the overall experience of watching Vanderpump Rules as a lesbian viewer. Vanderpump Rules is heterosexuality gone off the fucking rails. It’s the most compelling argument against heterosexuality — or at least traditional, monogamous heterosexual structures — I’ve ever seen on television!!!!!!
It’s straight camp, if there is such a thing. Remember how I said Raquel got engaged last season to a maniacal DJ? Sandoval helped that DJ with the proposal, gifting thousands of dollars to his efforts. The affair reportedly started very soon after that engagement resolved. People who rarely watch reality television love to pretentiously point out it’s all scripted, but you cannot script THIS!
The circus of machismo I’ve seen on this show is staggering, but the selfishness across the board — regardless of gender! — is unnerving. And for me, this often feels like a chicken vs. egg conundrum. Does reality television attract people with poisoned personalities or does it do the poisoning? Supposedly, this cast really does consider itself a friend group when the cameras aren’t rolling (which cannot be said of all Bravo shows these days), and like a lot of friend groups, they often refer to themselves as a family. Well, you know what? Vanderpump Rules is stark proof that chosen families can be just as toxic as given ones, something I’ve witnessed in real life, too, and often in queer circles!
I’m also just thinking a lot about how the nature of reality television means people not just inside the friend group but also everyone on the outside, everyone who watches these people for entertainment, must now pick sides. People will be labeled villains, victims, etc. It’ll all get narrativized and packaged, and it’ll make me think something I often think when watching these shows, which is that reality television ruins lives. At the same time, I’d be lying if I said I’ve never experienced some form of catharsis or release in watching relationship drama or cheating scandals play out not just on reality television in general but on this exact show (because yes, this is far from Vanderpump Rules‘ first infidelity storyline, though it is easily its most shocking). This show has relatively low turnover for a Bravo show — some main players have left, but many remain and have been here since the beginning, which means we’ve followed them for a decade. For fans, there’s extreme parasocial investment in their relationships, as reality television tends to engender in general. It is hard to remember that these are real people with real emotional stakes, because most of them are really good at their jobs, and their job is to entertain us and turn their conflicts into storylines. Yes, I do wish I could approach Bravo with a smooth brain, not thoughts just vibes energy, but I can’t. Part of engaging this deeply with reality television means having to think about all these things. MY CROSS TO BEAR!
Surely I’ll continue to go down the rabbithole of fan theories and speculation in the coming weeks, but above all else, I just hope Ariana emerges from the other side of this with her sense of self intact. She’s no less or more queer now that she’s single. Being with Tom didn’t erase her bisexuality. But wow, I would indeed love if we got some bisexual casual dating and hookup scene content out of her now joining Lala and Katie as single women on the show. But it feels very much too soon to even be thinking about that, because whew, this rumor mill and scandal cycle is moving fast. I can barely keep up, and I’ve been home alone all weekend obsessively tracking things! Cameras are rolling, a phrase I find myself repeating a lot this weekend, so we should know even more as to what this means for group dynamics and the future of the show very soon.
Do you watch Vanderpump Rules? What are your thoughts on all this? Did you merely read this as an outsider, and if so, have I sufficiently convinced you the viewing experience of this show as a queer spectator is interesting or are you like wtf Kayla why would I watch this nonsense? My fiancé is out of town, please talk to me I’m bored!
Let’s Discuss This Very Bisexual Pride Episode of “Vanderpump Rules”
Vanderpump Rules aired its annual Pride episode. Perhaps for you, like me, those words carry a lot of meaning and inspire haunting flashbacks to the alleyway behind SUR Restaurant. Perhaps you, like me, have lost approximately twenty thousand hours of your life to this Bravo reality program, about 40% of which has specifically been lost to thinking about the Pride episodes.
For the uninitiated, here’s a quick rundown on what exactly Vanderpump Rules is. Vanderpump Rules is a spin-off of Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills, focusing on the current and former (because they were fired) employees of Lisa Vanderpump’s restaurant SUR Restaurant & Lounge (SUR stands for Sexy Unique Restaurant, so its government name is Sexy Unique Restaurant Restaurant & Lounge). It is a show about a bunch of beautiful liars navigating their lives and all the lies they’ve told. It depicts one of the most dysfunctional group of friends I’ve ever seen in my life (the main cast includes four Cancers, two Aquarians, a Pisces, a Libra, and a Virgo), and everything I know about heterosexual culture I’ve learned from this show.
The Pride episode is an annual tradition, set during Los Angeles Pride. SUR sits along the parade route and turns into even more of a hot mess than usual for Pride, full of patrons who likely are here specifically because they want to be a part of the annual Pride episode, which despite happening on the earlier end of each season is usually a pretty climactic event. The Pride episodes are a dark corner of the series, one that me and my fellow gay lady friends who are fans of this show (Bravo Lesbians: there are DOZENS of us) hold in contempt and awe. Mostly focusing on the mostly straight cast of liars, Vanderpump Rules’ Pride episodes are an EXTREMELY ACCIDENTAL critique of the modern commodification of Pride and rainbow capitalism.
Season eight’s Pride episode was a lot of the same, although now there’s the added layer of main cast member Ariana being out as bisexual. This was the first Pump Rules Pride episode that Ariana was out for, and in fact, it was her first experience being out at Pride event in her life, something she talks candidly about in the episode. It’s not the first time a Vanderpump Rules Pride episode has shifted some focus to actual LGBTQ people. One Pride episode introduced new recurring character Billie Lee, who is a trans woman and who often used her platform on the show to discuss the prejudices and challenges she faces. But Pump Rules’ track record with dealing with LGBTQ issues has been messy at best. Billie Lee, in fact, accused several of the main cast members of transphobia when they excluded her, and the show never really grappled with that, because everyone’s approach to conflict resolution on this show is to 1. Scream 2. Lie and 3. Scream lies.
That’s why I was thoroughly surprised to see a very queer — and important! — scene in last week’s follow-up to the Pride episode, “It’s Not About The Pastor” (the episode’s title is a brilliant in-joke/callback to a previous nonsensical fight on the show, and if you want to be in on the joke, I implore you to just watch the entire series from the start and join me on this demonic journey). In it, new girl Dayna approaches Ariana at the bar and says that she was inspired to come out during Pride this year. Ariana and Dayna then have a conversation about their bisexual identities and some of the reasons it took them a while to come out.
Two bi women talking about being bi without anyone else in the conversation?! I can’t recall ever seeing that on television, especially since Ariana and Dayna aren’t in a relationship. Just two bi friends being bi friends! More of this on television PLEASE! And less of Dayna interrupting herself to center her straight dude boyfriend’s reaction to her coming out, please, but I’m going to chalk that up to her still working on some internalized stuff.
In addition to its bisexual bonding scene, “It’s Not About The Pastor” also confronts another queer issue head-on when Jax (the show’s resident Liar In Chief) and Brittany (Jax’s fiance) have to reckon with the fact that the pastor who is supposed to perform their ceremony is homophobic. In actuality, they do very little reckoning. It isn’t until they receive pressure from their friends and Lisa Vanderpump herself that they pivot from a homophobe marrying them to ?LANCE BASS? marrying them.
Watching Jax and Brittany initially defend themselves by saying they weren’t totally aware of the comments the pastor had made on social media is incredibly frustrating but also familiar. As with most reality shows, everyone has stock types that they fill and lean into, because the name of the game is ultra over-the-top melodrama. Brittany often positions herself as the sweet farm girl from Kentucky, and an insidious side of that crops up here when she tries to say that she knows this pastor and knows that he’s ultimately a “good guy.” Ariana isn’t buying it, and neither am I. Interpersonal relationships do not trump bigotry.
But this is an extremely relatable situation that queer people often find themselves in: having to deal with someone who is complicit in homophobia while simultaneously trying to distance themselves from it or downplay it. So many straights will only stand up to homophobia when it’s convenient to do so, and that’s exactly what’s happening here. Jax’s issue isn’t so much with the pastor’s beliefs but with the fact that he had made them public. I can’t believe I’m about to say something positive about Tom Sandoval (Ariana’s boyfriend), but even after Jax and Brittany pivot to Lance Bass, he pressures them to explain why they didn’t do something sooner. This immediately devolves into a classic classic Vanderpump Rules episode a.k.a. lots of drunk shouting, emphatic finger-pointing, tears, frustration, and nonsense.
Through it all, Ariana does not back down. Jax and Brittany don’t get any passes just because they finally did do the right thing. Honestly, Ariana and Sandoval are challenging their friends in just the slightest way, but the reaction is outsized—partially because outsized reactions are necessary for good reality TV but also partially because of the actual reality of most straight, white people never wanting to be challenged ever.
So yes, “It’s Not About The Pastor” is a very special episode thanks to that little moment between Dayna and Ariana that, despite many victories for bisexual representation on television in recent years, stands out in the way it centers bisexual identity between two friends. But Ariana’s queer identity also comes into play throughout the episode, forcing a group of friends to face the limits of their allyship. Does anything get actually resolved? NO. I’m not holding my breath for Brittany and Jax and the slew of friends who rush to their defense to actually engage in some introspection. Historically, Vanderpump Rules is more about people performing their worst qualities in perpetuity versus learning from them (BLEAK, but there are at least a few exceptions). But at least Ariana and Sandoval don’t shy away from naming their friends’ failures. Expose! These! Heterosexuals!
Anyway, it seems like Ariana’s entire arc this season is 1. Being queer and 2. Being depressed, and I for one feel incredibly seen.