Syd WIFED IT! Singer Announces Marriage on Stage at Concert in Boston
Feature image of Syd announcing she’s married on stage in Boston from Elspeth Macmillian on Instagram.
STOP EVERYTHING, Y’ALL.
Syd, our favorite neo-soul soft boi/singer/DJ extraordinaire has announced that she is married! Sure she dropped “tha kid” from her name a few years back, but y’all — our baby is all grown up and hitched now! Congrats to the GOAT with the caramel baby face and silky smooth voice on finding the one.
I was actually listening to Broken Hearts Club when the screenshot came through the Autostraddle Slack channel (shout out to Autostraddle writer Lily who shared it and just said “I need to know if this is true). I’ve been a Syd fan since I first heard The Internet’s Purple Naked Ladies. A decade later, I still stan hard. Syd’s voice has been the soundtrack to so many late-night writing sessions. So like Lily, I needed to know if the news was true!
I found the screenshot on Twitter and traced it back to the original poster, Elspeth Macmillian who took the photo at Syd’s show last Thursday at Royale in Boston. The widely-circulated image features Syd on stage with a floating caption that says, “BTW she announced she got married. SHE WIFED IT! Happy Pride, y’all.” Happy Pride, indeed!
I chatted with Elspeth Macmillan via DM about Thursday night’s concert and the mood in the room when Syd dropped her nuptial news. “She announced she was married earlier in the show and the crowd went nuts,” Macmillian recounted. “Then during the ‘Right Track’ song, she brought Simone on [stage] to film the audience, but also played up the ‘WIFE THAT’ part of the lyrics. Syd fans know who Simone is — she’s been in several of Syd’s music videos and [they] have been openly dating for a couple of years now.”
Okay so not only true but perhaps the CUTEST, QUEEREST THING EVERRR!
Not all of Syd’s admirers are ecstatic about this union though. When the news of Syd’s nuptials hit, the girls took to Twitter to express their grief and their distress about missing out on being the one in Syd’s arms. The good news is though — Syd’s newest album, Broken Hearts Club seems like the perfect soundtrack to help the girls cope with the news. Might I recommend grabbing your favorite ice cream and just putting on “Out Loud (feat. Kehlani)” or “Goodbye My Love?” Let Syd sing your blues away, babes (okay this might be counterintuitive but the album is just good).
With everything happening in the world right now, we deserve a win and this news — one of our favorites getting hitched to her beautiful and talented bae — is definitely a win.
Congrats Syd and Simone on tying the knot! Sending love from the team at Autostraddle!
Syd’s Album “Broken Hearts Club” Beautifully Captures the Highs and Lows of Queer Love
As a young Black queer femme from Los Angeles, I have always felt very represented by Syd. Also from Los Angeles, Syd makes alternative R&B music that pushes the genre into new arenas. She sings openly about her sexuality and love of women, and challenges traditional gender presentation for Black women. With her sophomore album Broken Hearts Club, Syd vulnerably shares her own experience with love and captures the experience of queer relationships through her representational, cinematic musical illustration of the emotional rollercoaster that is yearning, devotion, and affection.
Syd uses her rich yet saccharine voice to take listeners through the ups and downs of her new potential relationship. She starts off asking the question we all ask ourselves when we start feeling someone new: Can you break a heart? Her choice to abbreviate this song title to “CYBAH” reflects the common, casual nature with which we all ask ourselves this question as we explore our relationships. There is very little scarier than choosing to take a risk and opening your heart to someone new. No matter the amount of meditation or manifestation, there’s no way to know how a new relationship will end.
The next three tracks on the album perfectly capture the beginning stages of a new relationship. You know that dreamy phase where you can’t get enough of your new person? In “Tie the Knot,” Syd is already questioning if this girl could “be the one.” In “Fast Car,” the new rush of adventure and intimacy takes over. And the relationship further develops in “Right Track” as Syd is ready to “make you mine.”
Then we enter the honeymoon phase. Everything is going so well, you can hardly believe it. You never want to let this feeling go. Your heart swells every time you’re near your new love, and the very sight of her makes you feel complete. As Syd sings in “Sweet,” her new love interest feels “gifted onto[ [her] from up above” like a blessing. Finally, the romance of your dreams has entered your life, and it just feels so right. You are no longer in “Control,” your heart is as infatuation takes over. When you’re away from her, you count the days until you can see her next, impatiently waiting to spend the nights cuddling, making love, and staying up together to make up for lost time, just like Syd sings in “No Way” and “Getting Late.”
The final section of the album perfectly captures the devolution of love, which most often begins when it’s time to define the relationship. You know how you feel — you’re in love — but you cannot help but wonder why the person you love isn’t telling her friends or shouting from the rooftops like you have been. Syd starts to question if it’s just as real for her love interest as it is for her, wondering why she hasn’t declared her love “Out Loud.” It’s so real in your own heart that waiting around for an answer is no longer an option, as Syd sings in “Heartfelt Freestyle.”
Despite asking if she can/will break your heart at the beginning of the album, the heartbreak happens anyways. Your love interest isn’t ready to take things to the next level, leaving you no choice but to break things off for the sake of your own heart. In “BMHWDY,” Syd sings “You told me you would never do this shit to me,” a statement that has echoed in my own mind during heartbreak many times. Just like the abbreviation of “CYBAH,” the abbreviation of “BMHWDY” represents how common heartbreak truly is—it’s one of the most universal and colloquial, yet profoundly painful experiences within humanity.
Syd closes the album with the exact kind of reflection that occurs at the end of all relationships. You’re left thinking about how things could have been different if we spent the energy and time working to improve our relationship and ourselves. You’re forced to bid your relationship and your memories “Goodbye My Love.” But she also closes by capturing the energy of knowing you are a catch despite the heartache, because if she chose to leave you, as the baddie you are, she’s “Missing Out.”
Syd’s new album is a musically beautiful illustration of the excitement, joy, sensuality, passion, and pain that accompany love. Consider me part of the Broken Hearts Club.
The Drop: When Will Black Queer Artists Realize That Fat Black Girls Need Love Too?
The Drop is an ongoing series where Dani Janae and Shelli Nicole chat about Queer Black Pop Culture. This time they chat about the constant erasure of fat (and dark-skinned) Black women in the music videos of Black Queer/Lesbian musicians. For years, the love interests or objects of desire in the music videos of cishet male Black musicians, have in large part been thin (or acceptably curvy), and fair-skinned Black or racially ambiguous women. Now that same imagery is becoming a constant in the music videos of Black Queer/Lesbian musicians. Dani and Shelli chat through and wonder — do these artists know the message they are sending or do they simply not care?
Shelli Nicole: Hi Hi!
Dani Janae: Heyyyy
Shelli Nicole: Omigosh, Why am I rewatching “The New Edition” movie? I forgot how good it was! Anywayyyyyy — let’s jump in!
Dani Janae: Lmao love it.
Shelli Nicole: So I wanted to talk about this because a few weeks ago Syd’s new video came out. I do love her and her silky smooth-ass voice but I just was hella invested in what the love interest in the video would look like. Then, of course, the video comes out, and yeah it’s queer and cute but lo and behold — another thin girl (who is also somewhat racially ambiguous) is the love lead. Like, I’m….so sick of it? Folks will call me salty and they are correct, BITCH I AM SALTY ABOUT IT.
Dani Janae: Yeah, I didn’t even know about the video until you brought it to my attention but I was not surprised by the love interest in it. Most of our pop and R&B performers are thin or have idealized body types, and their love interests are the same. It’s really disappointing. Like, y’all can’t even pretend for a fictional video to be attracted to someone who doesn’t look just like you?
Shelli Nicole: I’m saying! Like, I get music videos and films are great for fantasy, cool that’s why I love them. But shouldn’t it be addressed if everybodys’ fantasy is a thin, cis-gendered, racially ambiguous woman? Is that the fantasy? STILL? Is that the “Look Ma, I finally made it!” — even for Black queer/lesbian musicians? I hate that I’d be okay with settling for them pretending just so the same narrative stops getting pushed forward, but as you said — they can’t even do that.
It’s not even just the fair-skin folks that’s the biggest issue for me, it’s the blatant fat erasure. People think dykes are so ahead of everything and that we totally love all women no matter the shape or size but, that’s just not true. Our community is also pushing this whole narrative forward that thin equals pretty and it’s fucking trash. I mean, on a non-musical side note you literally see it everywhere — just look at the new all cis, lite-brite and ALL THIN lesbian reality show Tampa Baes.
Dani Janae: YES! Dykes definitely fashion ourselves to be so progressive and that we don’t have the same pitfalls as men, but everyone is still really looking for the skinny pretty light-skinned, or white girl. Like I have written about this before, but the media we consume reinforces what we should find attractive. So when all I see are thin women getting dates/receiving love and adoration, it speaks volumes and just reiterates my lived experience.
Shelli Nicole: For sure, dykes will praise your confidence and share your photos to their stories with a fire emoji — but to be actually attracted to you? see you as a romantic interest or sex symbol? TOO FAR. It’s also interesting because it’s not just Black dykes who are pushing this narrative, it’s Black cis gay men too. The same ones who say they love us will still only put their thin caucasian friends in their music videos as dancers or background cuties.
There are 5 music videos (Including Fast Car by Syd) by Black lesbian/queer artists that we can name off rip, and they all show a thin love interest. That fucking sucks because it’s already hard enough to name 5 Black lesbian/queer artists in general.
- Eugene – Arlo Parks
- Honey – Kehlani
- Can’t Explain It (feat. Charlie Wilson) – CHIKA
- 64′ – Kaash Paige
Dani Janae: Yes exactly! It’s so rare to find that representation and even in our own community, we get erased. There’s still a persistent idea that lesbians are white so seeing Black lesbians is hard enough. Fat Black lesbians are virtually invisible.
Shelli Nicole: How purposeful do you think the casting of these videos is? And how much of a hand do you think the artist plays in it?
Dani Janae: I think the casting is very purposeful, the artist probably has some say in who gets cast but not total autonomy. I’m not in the music industry so I can’t speak with total authority, but it seems like the only time you see a fat woman as a love interest is when the musical artist also just so happens to be fat. I think about how it’s become a running joke that Netflix casts the same light bright cookie-cutter actresses as Black representation in their movies, and the same goes for music videos.
Shelli Nicole: I wanna point out too it’s not just the masc presenting Black queer/lesbian artists that I take issue with, it’s the femme ones too. Cynthia Erivo has her music video out where the love interest is a masc presenting, athletic-built person who is also fair-skinned. We as Black queers/lesbians talk so much about the need to see our love on the screen to normalize it, but when the opportunity presents itself to do so, the same layouts are shown. It’s the Masc/Femme relationship, two thin-bodied cis people, and da da da. So it’s like, do we wanna normalize our relationships, or do we wanna normalize a certain type of our relationships? You know?
Dani Janae: It also just perpetuates the idea that you have to look a certain way to be worthy of love! I write about being fat and dating a lot and I can’t tell you how many people, including other gay people, just have the attitude of “lose weight fatty and then you’ll get a date” and I’m just like NO.
Shelli Nicole: Absolutely. When I write about being fat and having sex or dating, people are stunned. Them being so dumbfounded is because they believe (or have been taught) that fat girls just don’t deserve those things. Can you think of any queer Black Lesbian videos where you have seen fatness present? in a romantic, loving, or sexy way?
Dani Janae: I honestly can’t. I’m sure there are indie artists who do have that representation in their music but I’m struggling to pull up examples. That Younger Lovers video I sent has fat Black people in it, but the central couple we see being intimate is still thin/traditionally attractive.
Shelli Nicole: So again we’re resolved to being boxes to tick off.
Shelli Nicole: The only one I can think of is Jada Michael in Freak and in that space, she is the fat femme that is in control and she centers herself as the object of affection, the love interest is another thin person though. Oh, and I guess Can I by Kehlani, but even then it’s not like a love interest. It just feels like “Here is a fat girl so you can’t say there wasn’t one in it”.
Dani Janae: Yes totally! I think Kehlani is cool and I don’t want to disparage them, but it’s hard to not feel like people will throw in one plus-size person to avoid criticism.
Shelli Nicole: But I took it and didn’t really complain because I was just — grateful for the representation? which, ugh how sad. For me, it just extra hurts to see it come from Black lesbian/queer artists in their videos. Non-black artists will often have a Black girl love interest or a fat girl but it feels so performative. It’s wild that I’m even asking the Black artists to be performative if they have to just to see myself represented.
Dani Janae: Yes totally, it reminds me of how people will love us in private but when it’s time to go public they get reaaaal secretive or do some performative “look at how progressive I am with my fat girlfriend” bullshit.
Shelli Nicole: I’ve been in both of those situations and all I wanted to do was set myself on fire. That was a dramatic statement but it fits. Basically, fat queer Black girls exist and we deserve to be more than just the friend in the music videos or their hype girl when dykes need a confidence boost. You can be Black, fat & sexy — like literally all of these things can be true.
Dani Janae: Exactly. We are here, we exist, we are TALENTED and can and should be the love interests in your movies and music videos!
Shelli Nicole: Can’t wait to be attacked on social media when this comes out by people telling me to stop whining about fat Black girls needing love and just start working out instead.
Dani Janae: LMAO same though.
Shelli Nicole: Also – I’m not even asking for it always to be some sweet tenderqueer love interest. I am asking for fat Black girls to also be seen as sexual hot beings — so like…objectify me I guess?
Dani Janae: Shelli can have a little objectification as a treat.
Shelli Nicole: Awwww, that’s all I ever wanted.
Brittani’s Video Party: Kelsey Kisses Syd Tha Kid for Being Famous
Greetings. This is Brittani’s Video Party, where I bring some of the “best” videos from all over my internet together so we can clap, cry or deconstruct. Have you ever gotten to a video and it already has 33 million views and you wonder where the heck have you been? Well I’m here to help you so that you see it when it only has 32 million views. Aim low, world. Aim low.
Header by Rory Midhani
Kelsey is a show about a lesbian that has just been dumped. In the pilot, “Palette Cleanser,” Kelsey’s friends encourage her to get out of the house and have some fun which leads to some unsightly repercussions. Follow the series for the rest of the season 1 run.
There’s a cute viral video alert with “Seeing her for the first time again.” Jason Mortensen woke up from surgery to find a stranger feeding him crackers. Watch his reaction once he realizes the woman in the room is his wife. As awful as it is, I kind of want to see the opposite of this video where someone realizes the mysterious person is their partner and they’re extremely disappointed with their life choices. But I’m a scumbag so.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IqebEymqFS8
Syd tha Kid, who I’m sure you have complicated (or just negative) feelings about, dropped a video with her group The Internet. The track is called “Dontcha.” I can’t help but feel positively about a music video in which the artist is so gay that they didn’t even take off their carabiner for the shoot.
Back in March we showed you the trailer for Kiss Her I’m Famous, a webseries starring Tracy Ryerson and directed by Rolla Selbak (Three Veils, Missing Maya). Well now they’re gearing up for Season 2 and part of that involves releasing the first season online for free. Check out the first of five episodes now available on One More Lesbian.
If you have a video you think everyone should see, tweet it to @bishilarious for consideration. And of course feel free to post your favorite videos from the week below.
“Work It” Gets Axed and Syd The Kid “Outs” Missy Elliot
WORK IT:
ABC has cancelled Work It — not because it’s a misogynist piece of shit or because GLAAD asked them to, but because it got shitty ratings! Furthermore, a slew of negative reviews didn’t exactly garner the show any new viewers.
Four days ago at the Television Critics Tour in Pasadena, Paul Lee, ABC Entertainment topper, said he was confused by the GLAAD and HRC campaigns against his show: “I didn’t really get it. I loved Tootsie. I still love Tootsie. I didn’t get it. But that’s probably me….”
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SYD THE KID:
The Internet and Odd Future’s Syd the Kid, an out lesbian, did an interview with LA Weekly in which she expressed her disdain for the word “lesbian” and, well — read it for yourself:
On the lack of out-of-the-closet gay urban artists:
“There’s Alicia Keys, who’s married to Swizz Beatz – we know that shit ain’t real. You got Queen Latifah kissing Common in movies. Missy Elliott saying she don’t wanna hang with bitches. You know she loves her some bitches.”
On the word “lesbian”:
“I hate the word ‘lesbian.’ Or ‘pussy.’ Or even like, ‘thespian.’ They’re just awkward words! If you know me you might hear me say the word ‘gay,’ or something. I’d much rather say gay than lesbian. Not only that, but I don’t know if I’d kick it with a group of lesbians anyway.”
Firstly, wow! I’ve heard a lot of Alicia Keys rumors over the years, but I had the impression it was far from certain. Queen Latifah is common knowledge and Missy Elliot is semi-common knowledge. It seems like Syd the Kid’s thing is just to say whatever the fuck she wants all the time and not worry about the consequences, or something.
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BRITNEY SPEARS
Britney Spears posted a home video of her son dancing to “Shake Your Grove Thing,” the best part is when the other kid comes in on his fucking crazy-bike.
Sex, Drugs, Dykes: Syd Tha Kid’s “Cocaine” Music Video
All I know about Odd Future is that hipsters like them, a lot of people including Sara Quin find Tyler the Creator offensive and they’ve got a lesbian member named Syd Tha Kid. Syd, along with Odd Future’s Matt Martian, are releasing a “mutant-R&B project” called “The Internet” from which they’ve released two tracks already — “Love Song -1” and “They Say.”
Now they have released this video. This video for their song “Cocaine” features Syd at the carnival with a pretty girl, doing lines and having a time. It’s really sweet and special until the end, but I’m fresh out of fucks to give this week so I’ll have to leave that part to you. What do you think of the video? Have you ever done cocaine that made you hallucinate and get droopy-eyed? That is some fucked-up cocaine. Cocaine sure can make you act like a heartless bastard though, that much is true. Don’t do drugs, kids! Seriously don’t.
Sara Quin Gives a F*ck About Tyler the Creator’s ‘Sickening Rhetoric’
Tyler the Creator is taking over. His new album, Goblin has been called “one of the best rap albums ever made and he’s praised for being “preternaturally talented, honest, witty, smart,” but Sara Quin of Tegan & Sara has some choice words for the 20-year-old rapper:
“As journalists and colleagues defend, excuse and congratulate ‘Tyler, the Creator,’ I find it impossible not to comment. In any other industry would I be expected to tolerate, overlook and find deeper meaning in this kid’s sickening rhetoric? Why should I care about this music or its “brilliance” when the message is so repulsive and irresponsible? There is much that upsets me in this world, and this certainly isn’t the first time I’ve drafted an open letter or complaint, but in the past I’ve found an opinion – some like-minded commentary – that let me rest assured that my outrage, my voice, had been accounted for. Not this time.”
Notorious for his shocking lyrics, Tyler takes not giving a fuck to a whole new level. Actually, he gives a lot of them in the sense that “fuck” appears to be his favorite word. Here you go, I made a word cloud for you of his twitter feed for the month of May so that you can observe his genius.
His songs are more than just dirty words being thrown around, though. One look at his lyrics makes it easy to see what pushed Sara over the edge. They span from terrifying and misogynistic (I just wanna drag your lifeless body to the forest/And fornicate with it but that’s because I’m in love with you, cunt) to violent and immature (Kill people, burn shit, fuck school/Odd Future here to steer you to what the fuck’s cool/Fuck rules, skate life, rape, write, repeat twice) which, in truth, isn’t much of a range.
Tyler’s central motif is opposition. Though reviews have cited similarities between Tyler and Tupac or Odd Future (his collective) and groups like the Wu-Tang Clan, these comparisons are more hollow praise than meaningful observation. While those artists wanted to narrate and expose their gritty inner-city reality, Tyler’s negative energy is his alone, simultaneously directed at everyone and no one in particular. The Insane Clown Posse with their loyal band of juggalos emerge as a more apt comparison.
While Tupac had crack-era racial politics impacting his daily life, Tyler’s anger seems to stem from his father’s abandonment. Though experiencing pain from a personal tragedy rather than on communal level certainly doesn’t make an experience any less valid, it might be worth questioning when the therapeutic value of music becomes outweighed by its hateful ethos. Rather than discuss his reality, Tyler emphasizes the authenticity of his music by drawing attention to its emotion; “I usually just say what I’m feeling at the time, what I think is cool.“
Spontaneity is neat, but a little self-reflexivity never hurt anyone. Especially when the product of your whims is projected to sell 45,000 copies during the first week of its release. Tyler the Creator is far from the first artist to use homophobic or misogynistic slurs in his music but, as Sara mentions, perhaps his accessibility has made the problem that much more conspicuous.
We at Autostraddle are big fans of Moff’s Law and are used to having someone telling us to stop caring so much, but it’s particularly weird to see an artist actively discourage discussion about their music. Syd da Kyd, Odd Future’s sound engineer, happens to be gay and a women and doesn’t seem to have a problem with the music either. “When I first started really fucking with Odd Future heavy, my dad was like, ‘Really? They talk about some crazy shit and as a female, you’re slapping a lot of women in the face.’ I’m like, ‘That’s what I do. I slap bitches.'” Tyler’s horror-soaked songs are aimed to attract and alienate and apparently, as long as she’s included in the party, everything’s alright.
Odd Future including Syd the Kid, an out lesbian
But being shut out is exactly where thousands of women and gay people, not to mention people of color, religious minorities, and people with disabilities find themselves. Sara acknowledges the uncomfortable position you take on when you stand up for something that you believe is right:
“The inevitable claim that detractors are being racist, or the brush-off that not “getting it” would indicate that you’re “old” (or a faggot)? Because, the more I think about it, the more I think people don’t actually want to go up against this particular bully because he’s popular. Who sticks up for women and gay people now? It seems entirely uncool to do so in the indie rock world, and I’ll argue that point with ANYONE.”
So let’s not let her invitation to discussion go by unnoticed, let’s argue. How much do words matter?