“Scandal” Changed the Entire TV Landscape, Especially for Black Women

It’s handled.

After 124 episodes over seven seasons, Scandal, the Shonda Rhimes-engineered show about life and times of Olivia Pope (played exquisitely by Kerry Washington), took its final bow last night. Loosely based on the travails of real-life crisis manager and former White House Deputy Press Secretary, Judy Smith, Scandal followed Olivia and her band of gladiators, as they called themselves, as they worked to clean up other people’s messes in Washington, DC.

Though the show lacked sustained representation of female LGBT characters, Scandal had a strong track record with male characters, including the series’ ultimate villain, Cyrus Beene (Jeff Perry). Scandal understood, from its inception, what many shows today do not: while queer representation on screen is important, so too is having queer representation in the cast list. For the show’s entire run, an out gay man, Guillermo Diaz, played Huck, the assassin turned tech wizard for Olivia Pope & Associates, who was arguably the heart of the show. Huck’s wife? Played by Jasika Nicole. The RNC Chair, Elizabeth North? Played by Portia De Rossi. After years of debate about whether gay actors could convincingly play straight, Scandal answered that question with a definitive yes.

To mark the end of an era, Carmen and I got together, with a little red wine and popcorn, to toast the end of Scandal and reflect on how a show about a political fixer in Washington, DC changed the entire television landscape, especially for black women.

Natalie: So let’s start with the ending first. We just watched the final episode of Scandal, what’d you think?

Carmen: I think it’s so hard to put a proper bow on a show like Scandal, not only because of its impact on our culture, but because of the specific twists and turns of the show in its most recent seasons. That said, when I saw the “written by Shonda Rhimes” marker over the opening credits, I eased in a bit. It’s rare we get an actual Shonda Rhimes-penned episode anymore. I knew that we were in good hands, if anyone was going to be able to bring the ship safely into harbor, it was going to be her.

Overall, I think she did as good a job as I could have hoped for. I’m not sure how anyone says “goodbye,” but I walked away feeling more satisfied.

What about you?

Natalie: Can I be honest? I didn’t really love it. Actually, I’m not sure I liked it at all. When the episode started I was hit with this overwhelming and unexpected sense of sadness because this show that quite literally changed the game was ending but as the show went on, the things that bothered me about Scandal during most of its run, were there again in the finale.

Why is Olivia still making apologies for these trash men? Why has David Rosen learned absolutely nothing? Why does almost everyone escape accountability for what they’ve done? Why does a Congressional panel believe a single word that Papa Pope — as usual, delivered impeccably by Joe Morton — has to say? And, yes, why on earth is Olivia Pope’s portrait hanging in the National Portrait Gallery?

Carmen: Well damn Natalie! Tell ’em how you really feel!

Natalie: AND! She professed her love and commitment to Mellie like two episodes ago, now Olivia’s like “ahhh, nevermind, I’m just gonna go hang out?!”

Carmen: In the opening of the episode, Rowan Pope echoes the same theme. He asks Olivia how long is she going to “clean up after massa?” It’s slang for how long is Olivia going to submit herself to the rich white people around her. Maya Pope has asked similar questions in the past. Also, the White House is toxic for Olivia. She doesn’t know how to be herself in that space without losing herself to the power of that space.

So, taking all of that into account, I think she had to leave Mellie. I think she had to stop “fixing.” I think she had to choose herself. I wish that choosing herself hadn’t meant that she’d end up with Fitz, but I’ve had seven years to prepare myself for that particular disappointing ending.

Natalie: Let’s go back to the beginning now. I started watching Scandal from the very first episode and haven’t missed an episode since. I’d already fallen in love with Shonda Rhimes’ creativity on Grey’s Anatomy and then when Kerry Washington was announced as the series lead, I was sold. What about you?

Carmen: I also started watching Scandal from its literal first episode and have not missed a single one! I was always going to watch Scandal because, well, I spend my Thursday nights watching Shonda Rhimes and have since 2007. Though, I agree: I was doubly sold at the idea of Kerry Washington as a network television lead.

It’s hard to imagine now, with Viola Davis and Taraji P. Henson on television weekly, or with Reese Witherspoon and Nicole Kidman making small screen roles pop, but, when Scandal premiered it still felt like there was a hard line between movie and television stars. I remember being floored that Kerry Washington of Save the Last Dance, Ray and Last King of Scotland was coming to TV.

Natalie: What were your first impressions of the show? Do you remember?

Carmen: My very first impressions of the show are a bit hazy, as love of red wine is something that Olivia Pope and I have in common. I do remember that I had a huge crush on Kerry Washington and that I didn’t much care for [President Thomas Fitzgerald “Fitz” Grant III], even from the very beginning. I also loved Guillermo Diaz right away. The first Scandal cliffhanger — “Who is Quinn Perkins?” — is when I was truly hooked. After that, there was no turning back.

Natalie: I have two really strong memories of Scandal: first, the idea of being a “gladiator in a suit”… and hearing that long monologue Harrison gave Quinn. I’ve worked in and around politics for years and that feeling, that you’re going to go out into the world and slay dragons is exactly how you feel when you initially step into the room. Eventually, you become jaded and cynical because DC saps idealism right out of you — but, gosh, in the beginning, it’s just so exhilarating and pure. I wanted to be a gladiator in a suit.

The second thing I remember is that it was THE SOCIAL EVENT of the week. Like, forget being around black folks, in public or on social media, if you weren’t sitting in front of your TV on Thursdays at 9 pm. We take it for granted now because there’s a show trending on Twitter every night but back then? There was only Scandal.

Carmen: YES! OMG I WAS GOING TO SAY THAT! THAT IS PROBABLY MY FIRST REAL MEMORY OF Scandal!

For me, this goes back to Kerry’s long career in movies. There was this feeling that if you showed up, you might get — gasp! — Kerry Washington to interact with you. It was at this perfect alignment with the rise of what we now call “black twitter.” The first people who made Scandal trend week after week were black people and specifically black women. There was a social community involved that had never been created in that way before.

Natalie: How’d you feel about the relationship between Olivia and Fitz? There’s that scene in Season 2 where Olivia likens their relationship to Thomas Jefferson and Sally Hemings.

Carmen: I don’t personally think Olivia was ever Sally Hemings, for the record but it’s a theme that Shonda Rhimes returns to again in season four when Olivia puts herself up for sale on an auction block as a way to escape her kidnappers. I think that Liv has always been granted agency in the show, and that calling her Sally Hemings is in some ways an attempt to cut that fierce self-determination down a peg.

Natalie: I never really got the Sally Hemings corollary because Olivia Pope, for better or worse, had a choice about being with the President. Olivia Pope had agency. She could have stayed with Edison, she could’ve relaxed on a beach with Jake, but she always came back to Fitz, much to my chagrin. Sally Hemings was a slave.

Carmen: Yes. Absolutely! Any understanding of Sally Hemings and Thomas Jefferson that doesn’t start with she was his property and she was underage at the start of their relationship is one that I cannot abide. I think that’s one of the reasons I was never comfortable with the Sally Hemings analogy either. It’s one thing to call Liv and Fitz toxic — they were — but there is no comparison to slavery, except slavery. Anything else is belittling.

Natalie: Do you have a favorite episode?

Carmen: I actually have a few! The episode that Ava DuVernay directed in Scandal‘s third season, “Vermont is For Lovers, Too,” because I was already such an early fan of DuVernay’s work — this was a year before she became an Academy Award nominee for Selma — and also because it’s we first really get to know Maya Lewis, AKA Mama Pope. In the episode, she literally bites out her own wrists, forcing herself to almost bleed to death, to get out of Rowan’s captivity. Khandi Alexander was so phenomenal in that role! She’s one of the true MVPs of the show.

My other two favorite episodes are “The Lawnchair,” the Black Lives Matter themed episode that was one of the first times that we got to see Olivia interrogate her relationship with blackness, and “Run,” because Olivia Pope shot a white man in point blank on national television and people rooted for her! It felt unreal!

So what about you? Do you have a favorite episode or infamous Scandal monologue?

Natalie: I think Mama and Papa Pope have been the deliverers of some of the best Scandal monologues. The one that Olivia has reflected on a lot in these last few episodes about being twice as good stands out to me, not because I hadn’t heard it before — I heard that from my own father many, many times — but because it allowed a wider audience to hear the conversations that black people have at home all the time.

“The Lawnchair” will always be my favorite episode. Not just because we got to see Olivia interrogate her own identity but because, at the time that that episode aired, I so desperately needed to imagine a future where there could be justice for black kids who were shot. There’s stuff about that episode that I could critique — it wraps things up far too tidily, in my opinion — but I needed to see justice for a dead black child… just once… because the actual world just refuses to give it to us. I needed to know what that’d look like. That was something I didn’t know I needed until I saw that episode.

What worked for you and didn’t work for you about Scandal?

Carmen: B613, and the slow, painful way that B613 engulfed the entire show. often with little rhyme or reason, particularly in these last two seasons. But, conversely, I think that Joe Morton’s Rowan Pope started off as a very strong character for the show. And still, right to the end, he delivers some of their most potent monologues. So I’m empathetic to the struggle of how to keep such a dynamic player around, while also grappling with the fact that his very presence is tied to everything that went wrong.

Thematically, I think that the show suffered from paying too much attention to the weakness of the men in Liv’s orbit. If I am watching a television show starring the first black woman in a lead role in nearly 40 years, who is playing a DC fixer, I have less than zero interest in the crybaby pain of the incredibly rich and privileged white men who surround her. Thanks.

There’s a wonderful monologue that Mellie gives at the end of season five. In it, she gets very Hamilton about how she’s not gonna waste her shot, unlike Fitz. That was the moment when everything that was great about Scandal, and everything that ruined it, came into laser-sharp focus for me.

What about you? Did you have any other weaknesses or strengths that you wanted to highlight?

Natalie: Like you, I hated B613 and whatever that secret group was that had Frankie Vargas killed. It just swallowed the show whole.

Obviously, Kerry Washington’s the star of this show but I didn’t know Bellamy Young much before this and I think she’s been a revelation. I’ve loved seeing her play more closely with Kerry over these last two seasons. It just made me feel like, “Why did we waste so much time with these dudes?”

Carmen: Yes, the women of Scandal really shined when given the opportunity. Bellamy Young, in particular, grew with every season. That said, in one of the very first scenes she has with Olivia when she admitted that Liv’s then affair with Fitz was the third rail that kept her marriage alive, I knew she was going to be a marvel. The relationship shared between Mellie and Liv is delicate, but powerful, and I love reveling in it.

What do you hope is Scandal‘s legacy?

Natalie: Obviously, I hope that its legacy is that the doors are open — and stay open — for black women in lead roles. I hope that we’re able to see women as anti-heroes, on the same level as the Don Drapers and Walter Whites of the world. What about you?

Carmen: I think that it’s a good time to remember that before Kerry’s role in Scandal there hadn’t been a black woman lead in a network television show in nearly four decades. But in the seven years since Scandal aired, there’s been a proliferation. I already name-checked Viola and Taraji, sure. But Gabrielle Union is coming to network TV in a lead role next fall. Regina King won two Emmys for her work in American Crime Story.

It’s tricky you know because as much as we like to applaud the current black renaissance on television, I think it’s important to remember that this isn’t the first time we’ve been here. Black television has traditionally been cyclical; it’s feast and famine. So I worry about that. I’m hopeful that, with the changing demographics of this country, this time it’s different, but we are in uncharted waters.

Watching the finale tonight, I think that Shonda Rhimes gave us a glimpse into what she hopes is Scandal‘s legacy. Scandal has broken so many barriers, and I think sometimes it’s easy for critics (myself included) to get caught up in a numbers game. How many black leads before versus after? What are the ratings? Will its success prove to be more than a passing trend? As if there is some kind of scalable metric that can be achieved.

But in the closing moments of the finale, two young black girls went to the National Portrait Gallery and they stared upon the face of Olivia Pope. I think that’s Shonda reminding us that, at its core, Scandal‘s legacy is about something bigger. It’s about, especially for black women, having the opportunity to see ourselves.

Olivia Pope was not just “the first black female lead in 40 years,” which is a massive accomplishment in and of itself, she was also a woman who was allowed to be powerful, but deeply flawed. She was simultaneously aspirational and human. She was corrupted by the very power she wielded. When Scandal first premiered, “Black Girl Magic” wasn’t yet a catch phrase. The new ways that black women were able to find themselves and see themselves, feel good about themselves, or be critical, or compassionate and forgiving. I think that’s the legacy that Rhimes is perhaps most proud of.

Natalie: One of the things we’ve talked about tonight is how infrequently Olivia Pope interrogates her blackness on the show. Do you think that helped open the door? Like could Olivia Pope have been “blacker” and this show still been as successful as it was?

Carmen: No. Scandal had to make those cracks in the ceiling, so that Cookie could have her own voice. Or Annalise. Olivia Pope had to prove that white people would watch a black lead so that other shows wouldn’t have to chuck their blackness at the door in order to find mainstream success.

One more question: Could Scandal have survived in Donald Trump’s America?

Natalie: Absolutely not. The repulsiveness of this administration far outstrips even Shonda Rhimes’ warped imagination. Kerry Washington’s Scandal can’t compete with the actual scandals that we’re having to endure day in and day out — though Olivia Pope would have a lot of work as a fixer.

Shondaland’s “How To Get Away With A Scandal” Crossover Event Was a Black Feminist Masterpiece

Did you see it? Did you get a chance to see Scandal and How To Get Away With Murder’s highly publicized two hour event last night? Some of us at Autostraddle ndve been waiting with baited breath since spoilers of the crossover episode first hit Twitter at the start of January.

We couldn’t believe our luck, finally getting to watch two of the leading ladies of Shondaland, both black actresses who are incredibly talented, outspoken feminists and — let’s be real— total powerhouses play together on our screen! Carmen and Natalie got together to talk about it!

If you haven’t been keeping up with either show, but wanted to dive right in, the two episodes hold up fairly well on their own. It’s most important to know that (spoilers) Olivia Pope has left both the White House and her consulting firm; she is now touring college campuses as a guest lecturer. Annalise Keating has been working on a class-action law suit against the state of Pennsylvania. The case focuses on the inadequate legal representation given to poor people of color. Annalise wants to bring the case to the Supreme Court, but for that she’s going to need Olivia’s help. The two women finally meet, and that is where our story begins!

---

WARNING: Some spoilers for last night’s Scandal and How To Get Away With Murder crossover episodes below.

Natalie: So, when I first heard about this crossover, part of me was very excited— who wouldn’t love an opportunity to see Kerry Washington and Viola Davis act opposite each other on our screen? I was also skeptical because there’s been no evidence up until this point that these shows even happen in the same universe. I didn’t think there was any way to to create a world in which Olivia Pope and Annalise Keating co-existed.

After watching, I think Shonda Rhimes, Pete Nowalk, along with the cast and crew of each respective show, really made the crossover work to their benefit. In fact, I’d be willing to say that forcing these two characters into the same universe strengthened both shows. Scandal and How To Get Away With Murder (HTGAWM) each have a weakness of exploring side plots that ultimately weigh them down. A central storyline of Olivia Pope and Annalise Keating working together helped to focus each of their respective writers’ rooms.

Carmen: When I first heard about the How To Get Away With a Scandal crossover event, you were the very first person I wanted to talk to! We kept joking about all the ways that we’d re-write it — sight unseen — so that Annalise Keating and Olivia Pope could make out.

Natalie: Them making out was one of the only things missing in this episode!

Carmen: But, I think those jokes hit on this bigger, greater point: When have we ever had a chance to see two black women characters, each larger than life in their own right, share the screen as a (platonic) power couple on network television? Hell, even in cable or streaming?

It was a once in a lifetime, which perhaps sounds hyperbolic, but you have to consider that before Scandal a black woman hadn’t been allowed the opportunity to solo lead a network drama since Diahann Carroll debuted Julia in 1968 and Teresa Graves’ Get Christy Love! in 1974. This could only happen in this moment. I had a lot of the same original misgivings as you did, but ultimately I’m happy that they found time for these two to meet in such a grand fashion before Scandal takes its final bow in a few weeks. If they hadn’t, it would have been an epic missed opportunity and a great loss for us all.

Natalie: During our chat about the episodes last night, I said that this felt like fan service — I like to imagine Kerry Washington strutting into Shonda Rhimes’ office and when asked what kind of ending she imagines for Olivia Pope, Kerry said, “One that allows me to work with Viola Davis.” Then, Shonda, Pete Nowalk and their respective teams worked to make this alternate universe episode happen. What did you call it? “The greatest fanfiction I never wrote.”

Carmen: Ha! YES! “The greatest fanfiction I never wrote.” I mean, who imagined a world where two black female lead television shows, both produced by a black woman, one of which is directly written by that same black woman, being able to join forces like this? It opens up rare space for authenticity. And they leaned into it! When the promo photos were released and we realized that they had recruited Aja Naomi King as the secondary character for the two hour event, and then the crown jewel of black actresses Cicely Tyson — I was like, okay. They know what they are doing.

Which is part of what made it so electric and exciting. You’re right, it was fan service, it was actress service. Usually we think of those terms pejoratively, but when before has fan service ever been centered on the desires of black women? Probably never.

Natalie: Absolutely. I’m generally someone who’s very anti-fan service, I feel like that does a disservice to the creative process. This felt different; the writers were so deliberate in creating this world that it didn’t feel like a disservice.

Carmen: I think that in their own, very different approaches, both Scandal and HTGAWM have been thematically finding ways to address: What does it look like to be a black woman in a position of power? How does centering a black woman change the process of our world making? This two hour event is a cumulation of that.

Natalie: Can we stop and talk about that for a second?

Early in the episode Annalise says to Olivia, “Our country’s in crisis, together we can fix it.” I cheered it when they said it because, when you think about the role of black women in the political process right now, we are the ones trying to save America from itself. If you look at the 2016 election, where black women were the driving force of Hillary Clinton’s electoral coalition or in Alabama where we saved that Senate seat from going to that racist pedophile Roy Moore — black women are really out here doing the work of saving America. But, I’m always concerned about whether we’re doing the work because we want to and not because it’s expected for us to?

Carmen: Oh my goodness, yes! There’s a complex tension between “Yaaaaaas! Slay black queen, slay!” and “No, it is not our job to be the magical negress who saves you.”

I have to believe that “Our country’s in crisis, together we can fix it” was on purpose. Like you, I also cheered. Then winced. There was an important critique gaining groundswell after Roy Moore’s defeat in the Alabama Senate Race that black women did not vote to save America. Black women voted to save themselves. The sentiment stuck with me. There’s no room for self-care in being a savior, and if black women aren’t going to take care of ourselves, historically we have learned that no one else will.

We’ve also seen that play out in these two shows, where Annalise and Liv have both suffered tremendous personal turmoil over the last few years. This is the first season where I’ve seen Annalise prioritize herself— via her sobriety and, in many ways, this court case. Liv, unfortunately, still hasn’t seemed to learn the lesson. For me, that was really highlighted in Scandal’s hair salon scene.

Natalie: It’s definitely my favorite part of the Scandal episode because of how authentic it felt. That scene was really lived in and VERY BLACK.

Carmen: Anytime you have black women getting their hair done on camera, it opens up space for blackness and vulnerability — because we’ve been taught so much shame about our hair, right? Especially in front of white people (like the white audiences all across America watching last night). But at the same time, there’s such beautiful community in our hair care.

Natalie: It definitely felt like a callback to that scene in the first season of HTGAWM when Annalise slowly takes off her make up and wig.

Carmen: Oh man, that scene. Those were some of the bravest choices I had ever seen on television.

Natalie: But you’re right, this was Annalise and Olivia at their most vulnerable because all the armor — the hair, the make up — is gone. Were you surprised by the fight between them? Annalise calling Olivia a “siddity phony” and then Olivia calling Annalise a broke bully who had to ride down on the Megabus to beg for her help. Okay, I have to admit, that Megabus line had me rolling.

Carmen: I was totally surprised! I think this goes back to my point about rare opportunities for authentic portrayals of black women. When I imagined Annalise and Olivia teaming up, I imagined them becoming a super team! The choice that Shonda Rhimes and Pete Nowalk made was much more honest; these are women who would not necessarily get along at first. They would have luggage they need to unpack before they could join together.

I think adding Annalise to Scandal put in direct light Olivia’s own complicated relationship with blackness and black womanhood, much like Courtney B. Vance’s character did in season four’s Black Lives Matter themed episode, “The Lawn Chair.” Olivia is a black woman who was purposefully not raised around other black people. She would judge Annalise because she’s in financial straits — Oh man, that Megabus dig! I choked, I was laughing so hard — and as much as I think she wouldn’t like this about herself, she would judge Annalise’s skin color and body frame and speech patterns.

At the same time, this moment is vulnerable for Olivia too. We have seen Annalise in a hair salon before, we have seen her take off her wig. In seven years we have NEVER seen Olivia without her armor in these ways. This is opening herself up — but for Olivia, opening herself up means buying out the entire salon. Annalise used to get her hair done by Mary J. Blige in a neighborhood beauty shop. The differences between these women couldn’t be more stark.

Natalie: The conversation that Olivia has with Mama Harkness (Cicely Tyson, as Annalise’s mother, Ophelia) is crucial; Olivia hasn’t had a family like Annalise. She doesn’t have a mother figure to lovingly counsel her. There’s no one that can call her out on her bullshit.

Carmen: That was one of my first thoughts when Cicely’s Mama Harkness entered during the second hour. This is so far out of Liv’s depths. She doesn’t understand why Annalise would draw strength from her mother, because Liv didn’t grow up with a mother. She grew up with an international mercenary and terrorist (Heeeeeey, Mama Pope! Love you forever, girl!).

Olivia tells Annalise that her family is a “distraction” because she doesn’t get it. Then comes this perfect scene alone with Mama Harkness, and wow did Kerry Washington rise to the occasion of acting opposite a legend like Cicely Tyson. Mama Harkness brings forth some of the themes we’ve been talking about. She tells Liv that she’s seen her on TV behind this president or that president, essentially always cleaning up these white people’s mess. She tells her that she sees her, because she once was her. Not on the same scale of course, but always having to put herself last to clean up after someone else first.

Natalie: That scene in the bathroom with Kerry Washington and Cicely Tyson was so powerful. It felt like a new beginning for Olivia Pope. She can finally stop worrying about herself and stop putting all these other people first.

Carmen: There’s such a power in being seen, truly seen. I hope your prediction ends up coming to fruition, because there’s nothing I want more than for the almighty Olivia Pope to finally come to terms with herself because she saw her reflection in this old, strong but all too often forgotten, black woman from Memphis, Tennessee.

Natalie: What’d you think about Annalise’s Supreme Court argument?

Carmen: OK, this is where I have to confess something: I know that they’re not for everybody, but I love me a classic, barn burner, Shondaland monologue. I live for them. And I think this one will go down as one of the greats.

This scene is everything. #HowToGetAwayWithScandal pic.twitter.com/dgCslQtjUN

— Scandal (@ScandalABC) March 2, 2018

Natalie: Wait, there are people who don’t like Shondaland monologues?

Carmen: A lot of television critics hate them! The school of thought is that it’s not “realistic”; in real life people don’t speak in five minute prose. They are theatrical, but I personally find that to be a benefit. I don’t think theatre is a dirty word. Lena Waithe recently gave an interview where she said she’s working to keep finding her voice as a writer, because when you turn on the TV you know when you are watching Aaron Sorkin or Shonda Rhimes. They have their own rhythms and sounds. I hadn’t thought of it in that context before.

Natalie: This is definitely a space where those monologues make total sense though.

Carmen: When Annalise started with “Racism is in the DNA of America…” I held by breath and I don’t think I let go until she rested her case. To take this opportunity and write such an eviscerating, full-bodied take down of the racism embedded in the American justice system — and in America itself — those are the moments that demonstrate the importance and strength of pop culture. Not everyone is going to pick up a copy of The New Jim Crow or dedicate two hours to watching a documentary like The 13th, but they are going to watch HTGAWM. They are definitely going to watch a heavily promoted crossover event. To take that built in audience and use it for this; it’s a black feminist checkmate.

Natalie: Oh! We have to talk about Annalise’s breakdown before she gave her oral arguments. She gets a phone call that taps right into the worst possible things that she thinks about herself — that, if it wasn’t for her, everyone else’s life would be so much better. It’s a self-loathing that has come up before. I always remember it in relationship to a fight Annalise had with her ex-girlfriend, Eve Rothlo. One of the reasons I feel Annalise Keating so much is that I understand what it means to internalize all the blame. She’ll always internalize the blame more than she internalizes the victories or success. I totally get that.

What’d you think of the breakdown? When Annalise asked for the vodka did you think she’d actually drink it?

Carmen: As someone who has been paralyzed similarly by a panic attack before, I was in awe of Viola Davis’ physical work. She was somehow both frozen solid and shaking from her toes up, her face was a completely stoic but her eyes were darting, crying. That’s exactly what that feels like. There’s been a growing trend in the last year of honestly depicting women of color who struggle with mental illness, Charley Bordelon on OWN’s Queen Sugar, Penelope Alvarez on Netflix’s One Day at a Time, and now Annalise Keating. It’s so vitally important.

Anyway, I didn’t think Annalise would drink the vodka, but I also knew that Liv would get it for her. Liv’s entire world is about the moral grey, the ends justify the means.

But, when Liv tells her “I believe whatever you think you need inside of this bottle, you already have inside you” — WOW. I just need Kerry Washington to follow me around reading inspirational quotes. How do I get her to be my life coach? I want it now.

Okay! It’s time for a big wrap up! Coming out of this big, black, feminist two hour event — what do you want people to know?

Natalie: First, this case that Annalise brought to the Supreme Court is based on real work being done right now by the ACLU in Missouri. I wish the press surrounding the crossover had included some mention of it. This isn’t something that’s being made up for primetime drama, it’s a real injustice that people are actively involved in trying to address.

Second, I wish they made out.

Carmen: Well, it doesn’t get any better than that.





Boob(s On Your) Tube: There’s A New Gay Getting Away With Murder In Shondaland

It’s time to talk about teevee! Carmen wrote beautifully this week about losing M-Chuck on Survivor’s Remorse. I reviewed Facebook’s (no for real) new queer show, Strangers. Valerie worked through some sad but hopeful feelings in her recap of Supergirl. Riese told you why you should love Gaby Dunn’s new dark comedy. And our team weighed in on the show’s we’re watching to distract us from this nightmare world. Here’s what else:

---

American Horror Story 709: “Drink the Kool-Aid”

Written by Riese

This week on American Horror Story, the Michigan Lesbian came back WITH A VENGEANCE and yes, we buried a gay, but listen, sometimes a gay deserves burial. Lana Winters is here to carry us home. But also everybody in this show is terrible. American Horror Story! Wheee!

We continued our journeys into the annals of cult history, this time opening with Evan Peters, at times vaguely resembling late-in-life Elvis, playing the roles of Jim Jones (“the Kanye of cult leaders”) and David Koresh, regaling his Double-Denim Boy Army with sweet recollections of cults that killed all their members in order to “leave the vehicles of their bodies and ascend to the next level.” Kai’s delighted by the prospect of followers so dedicated they’d die for you, and demands that same pledge from his band of merry men. They’ve gotta be willing to die for him and also to be castrated, which is coincidentally a key element of the Autostraddle Employee Pledge.

But the few remaining women are on the fringes, keeping their distance from the storm of testosterone and musty basement sweat and fear-tears. Winter’s torn between Kai’s control and her own moral compass. And Kai’s just fucking with people now, like when he pulls Beverly out of solitary and harangues the Ally/Winter/Ivy love triangle onto his couch to demand group consumption of poisoned Kool-Aid. One guy opts out and gets shot and killed right there. The rest drink, hysterically, but of course it’s just normal Kool-Aid, which isn’t poisoned by poison, just by artificial colors and flavorings. “Why would I kill us?” Kai asks. “I’m running for Senate and dead people can’t vote!”

Ally and Ivy, together again!, face off. Ivy’s cowering, and Ally’s a tree. Ally wants answers, like how Ivy could do this, and put their son at risk. Ivy explains how stressful the restaurant was, and how she felt like “there was no control, like there was no boundary or structure to contain me or my feelings and I wanted someone to come in and say ‘do this, go there, believe in this, care about that.'”

“A daddy,” Ally responds, cool as a cucumber.

“I guess, yeah,” Ivy says, before digging in to how she hated Ally, and also how she loved taking her hands off the wheel. She doesn’t know how she could’ve been so stupid and weak but oh, it’s so great that Ally came back for her!

“I came back for Oz,” Ally snaps.

Winter, Ally and Ivy plot an escape that is quickly thwarted, and then Ivy and Ally plan another escape that is also thwarted. Winter apologizes to Ally, who’s like “For what? For fucking my wife, trying to drive me crazy, or trying to kill me?” Ah, to be alone in a room with your girlfriend and the girl you cheated on your girlfriend with who also tried to finger-bang you with very sharp nails. What a lesbian delight this is. Winter says “The election made me lose my mind” and girl, same, but we have not severed anybody’s limbs with a chainsaw, you know?

Oh right and Kai’s convinced it was his sperm bank deposit that created Oz, and demands Oz spend the night with him and the Double-Denims, who wear long winter underwear pajamas to bed, continuing to exude a vague Mormon vibe — Ally and Ivy reluctantly consent ’cause as long as Kai feels Oz is his messiah baby, he probs won’t kill him. But although initially delighted by this male energy, Oz eventually has no patience for Kai’s ridiculousness, biting back to Kai’s embellished Jim Jones fables (which involve everybody coming back to life on a new spiritual plane) with true facts from Wikipeida until he’s carried upstairs for bed by Daddy in another horrifying scene not because it is violent but because it involves a child and is wrong. Still, for a few hours Kai succeeds in convincing Oz he needs a Mom and a Dad, not two Mommies, and it’s a low blow and a cheap shot and it hurts.

Meanwhile, Ally’s made dinner for her wife, and a bottle of wine like they had on their honeymoon. “Tonight we start over,” Ally smiles. Ivy’s impressed by it all, as if Ally owes her something. AHEM the only person Ally owes something to is Hilary Clinton. Ally tells Ivy how painful it was, being in the psych ward alone, with no visits, no calls. Ivy says she was trying to protect her son from a lunatic, that Ally’s fears overwhelmed her, which is choice from a woman who spent that time period literally murdering people with knives. I guess we all have different thresholds for being overwhelmed. Ally recalls pulling herself together, finding something to fill the hole the fears had filled — a desire for revenge.

“This is the woman I’ve always wanted, strong and assertive,” Ivy says like a woman who has also done nothing to be the woman Ally wanted, either. “But it’s a passing phase, you’re all bluster and no follow-through. You’ll revert back to what you really are, a coward. So you can dream of revenge, but I’m not afraid of you, you’ll never do anything to me.”

“I already have,” Ally smiles to herself. Ivy’s eyes widen, as she begins to choke. The food was poisoned. Ally was just being nice long enough for Ivy to start eating and drinking.

“I want only two things in this life,” Ally says as Ivy collapses and begins bleeding from the mouth. “I want Oz all to myself, and I want to watch you die.”

And she does. And then Ally goes to the sperm bank, confirms that Kai is not Oz’s father, obtains paperwork that claims Kai is Oz’s father, invites Kai over, and tells him she’s ready to be a family.

“Where’s your wife?” He asks.

“She’s in the trunk, I killed her.”

“I had you all wrong, didn’t I?” Kai says a little bit later, chowing his Manwich. Kai’s impressed with himself. He’s a stupid man now, drunk on ego and power and amphetamines and alleged procreation. Ally flatters him, what an obvious choice he was for Oz’s father. “I’m fucking awesome!” Kai exclaims. “This is cosmic! I literally spoke this into existence!”

My notes from this part read: “The lesbian is smarter than Kai.”

Sarah Paulson told The Hollywood Reporter this week, “I don’t know if ever in life Ally has felt this powerful or capable. There comes a point when you realize that your life has forsaken you — you’ve got nothing in the world to live for except your son, and there’s no one you can count on — that basically, all bets are off. You’ve already been to the brink. There is no going back and when you’re pushed to that point, people can summon things in themselves they didn’t know were possible.”

Just two more episodes left of this bizarre television experience! Wow!

---

How to Get Away With Murder 406: “Stay Strong, Mama”

Written by Natalie

I’ve always doubted Oscar’s ability to really help Annalise escape her demons. But this week, Oscar manages to make progress and all it took for him to break through is potentially destroying himself (and his career).

Much to his own therapist’s chagrin, he hasn’t told Annalise about his sessions with Bonnie. When she discovers that Annalise is triggering Isaac’s own loss, the therapist urges him to get Annalise a new counselor, but Isaac refuses. He’s finally making progress with her and he believes that he’s the right one — perhaps the only one — who can help her.

Isaac leverages what he’s learned from his conversations with Bonnie — namely, that Annalise once lost a child — to push Annalise towards confronting her grief once and for all. He starts down that path by pushing her to confront her feelings about Sam. He challenges her to write a letter to him and suffice it to say, it does not go well. Instead of finishing her letter, she brings a picture: the picture of Sam, Annalise and their stillborn son. While it moves the conversation in the direction that Isaac wanted to go, the moment feels completely unearned. That said, it’s hard to feel anything but awe at the Viola Davis performance that follows.

“The whole world always makes me feel I’m not right the way I am. Sam wantin’ me to be the mother, my clients wantin’ me to be a hero,” Annalise cries. “I can’t be all those things! I can’t be strong all the time!”

Listen, there’s a lot about this show that I can critique, but that — that explanation of the burden of womanhood, and black womanhood, in particular — makes enduring all the other craziness worth it. There isn’t another show that articulates our experience and our pain as plainly as HTGAWM.

It’s worth noting that while we get confirmation here that the loss of a child and suicide are triggers for Isaac, there’s something else at play. Isaac first referred to Annalise as a trigger before he knew about their shared losses. There’s something else, something that I hope merits spending this much time on his backstory. Even if he is played by Jimmy Smits, I’m not here for him.

As Isaac grows increasingly unwound, his therapist’s concerns grow. Eventually, she ends up at Annalise’s door, introducing herself as Jacqueline Roa, Isaac’s ex-wife, and asking for help.

On the professional front, Annalise and Connor are fighting to save a family’s house. Annalise’s former cellmate, Claudia, sold drugs out of her mother’s house and now, in an effort to get Claudia to withdraw from the class action suit, the DA is threatening to take the home.

As Annalise points out, legally, the DA’s well within his right to do so. While it’s always great when HTGAWM shines a light on real-life issues, I cannot fathom a politician making civil forfeiture part of their campaign kick-off. Civil forfeiture is universally loathed — not just among poor people, as the show strangely implies, but by everyone — and there’s no way that an aspiring attorney general would wade into those waters.

So while the outcome of the case never seemed in doubt — ultimately, Annalise gets an injunction — the story wasn’t without some highlights: first, I adored the motherly relationship between Claudia and her son. We have a really warped image of incarcerated women and their families, thanks in large part to really warped depictions within pop culture, so I appreciated the small pushback on that narrative.

Second, we got to see this new supportive relationship between Annalise and Connor grow. Part of me wants to rail against their newfound closeness. After he’s carried so much hatred towards her for so long, it doesn’t make sense that things would thaw so quickly. But that impulse is overridden by how much I want to see Annalise have friendships/relationships/mentorships that aren’t toxic.

Meanwhile, Asher’s driving himself crazy over Michaela’s lies. He keeps imagining that Michaela and Laurel are having a lesbian affair — I wish, Asher, I wish — and goes to Frank to get advice. Frank encourages him to just talk to Michaela, which he does by interrupting her day at C&G. Michaela’s too busy to worry about Asher’s neediness, though: Laurel’s daddy’s in town for a meeting at Caplan & Gold which sends Michaela, Oliver and Laurel into a tailspin. They assume he’s there because of their attempted break-in and they’re freaking out.

Michaela does her part to ply information about Antares from Tegan by toasting with Tegan’s favorite gin. As they sip, things between the partner and her intern get a little personal. Tegan confesses that she’s given up having a personal life for her job.

“Who was she?” Michaela asks boldly.

Tegan chuckles at her her audacity, before admitting, “I loved Cora, not just for the sex. But I love my job more.”

I cheer this admission — another gorgeous queer character in Shondaland — and then start plotting. Tegan is queer, Annalise is queer. Tegan is hot, Annalise is hot (and Tegan concurs on this point). Tegan hasn’t had any for awhile and Annalise hasn’t gotten laid in six months. This has to happen right? Michaela’s two surrogate mommies have to hook up. Don’t let me down, Pete Nowalk!

Also, are there really all these beautiful, sex-starved, queer lawyers in Philly? I may have to move.

But I digress…Michaela coaxes Tegan into admitting that Antares is going public. Tegan warns that any bad press before the announcement could tank the deal so Laurel sets her sights on doing just that. Michaela and Oliver are just relieved that their attempted hack wasn’t detected.

“You are both missing the point. Antares going public is the reason my father killed Wes,” Laurel explains. “Denver had files on all of us, right? Which means he knew who I was…and my father. So Denver called him when Wes was about to turn against Annalise. We would’ve all been implicated in Sam’s murder, Rebecca, right when Antares was about to go public. All the shares would’ve tanked, and my father would’ve lost everything. So he decided to send Dominick and kill Wes.”

It’s a compelling argument — one that easily gets Oliver and Michaela on-side — but these kids are always wrong so I’m guessing that’s not what actually happened. Oliver manages to get the scoop on the IT changes at C&G and realizes that the only way to get into the server is via Tegan’s security badge. Michaela refuses to destroy the one good person in her life and tells the Laurel she has to find another way. Laurel begs her to stay the course.

Later, Michaela arrives home to find Asher packing his stuff. He shows her the video he secretly recorded (via teddy bear!) of her meeting with Laurel and Oliver. Initially, he seems more bothered that Michaela’s platitudes about Tegan than anything else, but ultimately he leaves Michaela because she lied to him.

Back in the DA’s office, Bonnie’s not having the best day. Isaac stops by her office, hoping that she’ll continue getting therapy with some other counselors he’s recommended. She’s bothered by Isaac’s visit but, since she threatened to hurt Annalise, a visit to her job is the least invasive thing he could do. Then, after getting a public pat on the back from her boss for avoiding the publicity nightmare of having all of Virginia Cross’ cases reopened, she’s reassigned for being overly emotional…and told to go home for the day.

Bonnie’s nursing a drink when Asher arrives at her door looking for Frank. When he shows her the tiniest bit of kindness and she collapses against his chest, crying, lamenting that she’s messed everything up.

---

The Shannara Chronicles 204: “Dweller”

Written by Valerie Anne

I feel a little guilty because when Eretria and Lyria got into a fight then were separated by their respective tasks and adventures, I thought they would be apart for the rest of the season. I thought we had a few episodes of them being girlfriends and then nothing else forever. But praise the Ambertree, I was wrong! This week, while Lyria and Ander, who her mother wants her to marry, were talking about this marriage idea, and Lyria wants to make it clear right now that she loves Eretria and that the queen and her politics would never change that.

Just in time, the rover herself comes in, happy to hear it. Eretria can believe her now, because Lyria had no idea she was listening, and she still stood up for Eretria and their relationship, so she hides out in the barn to see her princess in private again before she heads out. Lyria is so happy to see her, and they smile adorably and go in for a kiss.

While I do, sadly, fear that Lyria is just a rest stop on the road to Shannara (aka Wil), I’m glad they’re treating it so lovingly in the meantime.

Grey’s Anatomy 1406: “Come On Down To My Boat, Baby”

Written by Carmen

Bravery. It shows up in a lot of different ways.

Jo and Meredith are working together on a rare ALPPS procedure for a judge. He’s nervous and asks for their advice, Jo breaks ethics code and tells him: “I would take the risk. Life is short. I wouldn’t want to spend it wondering: What would’ve happened if I had just been a little more brave”.

He agrees, despite Meredith’s concerns over Jo’s response and ethics violations, and the surgery is a success. Afterwards, Jo seeks his legal counsel regarding her abusive ex-husband. His advice is not optimistic; the system is rigged against domestic violence survivors. There is no way for her to officially file for divorce without her abusive ex knowing where she lives. Jo feels helpless, but when the judge later dies due to a blood clot, her own words echo back in her ears: “I don’t want to spend my life wondering, What would’ve happened if I had just been more brave”. She decides to file for divorce. No more running. No more hiding. She’s going to take the risk and fight.

Amelia is afraid that she’s no longer brave without her tumor as an armor. She pages Webber to his own office, figuring that two sober drunks talking together makes an AA meeting, and whew boy does she need a meeting.

She asks him, does he remember that feeling when you first quit your addiction? How the addiction made you feel like you could conquer anything, and without everything feels hard and you feel vulnerable? In her first day back at work without her tumor, she feels that way again. He reminds her that no matter how it feels now, her drug habit did not embolden her. It numbed her, put her in danger. She can handle life post-tumor the same way she handles her sobriety; she can just take it one surgery at a time.

Arizona and April treat an 18-year-old girl who is rushed into the ER. She’s writhing in pain on the gurney, and they can’t figure out what’s wrong. Then a gun goes off in the ER! Where’s the gun, you ask? Inside the patient. She had shoved it up her vagina.

Yes, you read that right: Gun. In. Her. Vagina.

Goodness, I love this show.

The patient was attempting to smuggle the gun into a prison at the request of her boyfriend. After she’s been treated, Arizona gives her a classically great mom speech, “Young Lady… if you were brave enough to do this for your boyfriend, you can be brave enough to say NO to him”. She tearily nods in agreement back at the great lesbian mama bear known as Arizona Robbins.

See, bravery? It shows up in ways you cannot see coming.

Unfortunately for Arizona, her love life isn’t going as well. She broke up with Carina, by accident. Arizona mentioned that she was going to need more space with Sofia coming home. She meant physical space, Intern DeLuca is moving out, but Carina misunderstood her to mean emotional space. So Arizona is spending her off time casually Tindering with April. For the record, Arizona hates having to swipe. She much preferred having hot orgasms with her Italian girlfriend.

Maggie joins them, and in typical Maggie style, is anxiously overthinking the whole Tinder thing. Lucky for her, Bailey is ready to help! She grabs Maggie’s phone right from her hands and swipes on her behalf, muttering boredly as she goes “too young, way too young, helllloooo Idris Elba”. Chandra Wilson’s comedic timing this season continues to be truly top notch!

Less funny? Arizona and Intern DeLuca finding Owen and Carina making out in the hallway at the end of the episode. The minute Owen introduced himself to Carina, my heart fell to the pit of my stomach. I suppose they are forming some sort of broken hearts club, but my only concern is why Owen Hung orbits around all the badass women of Grey Sloan Memorial and sucks the energy out of them!! Owen Hunt, last week I tried to give you a new chance! And this is what you do with it! Dammit!

I went back through all my notes, but I don’t think Carina’s bisexuality was mentioned before now. There must have been a better way for us to find out this information than Arizona watching her tongue dive with Owen! There just had to be.

To be clear, I take no issues with Carina’s bisexuality. I take ALL THE ISSUES with who she was making out with and the manner in which the show decided to introduce her bisexuality to the audience.

We’re running out of time together, so real quick: Meredith is nominated for a Harper Avery Award. Yes, previously it was stated that no one from Grey Sloan Memorial could ever win the award. It was the catalyst of Cristina leaving the show. I’m choosing to believe that after Cristina’s exit the issue somehow got worked out legally off camera. I suggest you accept this fiction with me.

While the women were off being brave, are you wondering where the men of Grey’s Anatomy were? Of course not. But here’s the info anyway. Jackson bought a yacht at Karev’s suggestion in 5 minutes flat. Obviously, all the men took a sick day so that they could drink beer in the sun. Just go with it.

Post-Op Thoughts:

+ April Kepner thought you could get pregnant from a toilet seat until at least the 10^th grade!! We really need better sex ed in this country.

+ List of things that Carina DeLuca has pulled out of vaginas over the course of her career: $10K cash from a woman who wanted to hide it from her ex-husband, a jar of ashes, and a shower head. Attention vagina having humans, please do not put items inside of you that are not made from body safe materials! Thank you.

+ Carina also gave us this joyous phrase: “Gun-gina”.

+Ben copped to a few confessions while drinking on Jackson’s yacht. Most relevant to our interests? He admitted that he misgendered his trans sister for most of their lives together. I miss Rosalind! I’m glad to hear that the Warrens are on better terms from where we left them in season 11. I’d love to see her return to the show. Also? Ben still hasn’t told Bailey that he’s giving up surgery to work in the Seattle Fire Dept. That’ll be a lot of fun for us in the near future.

+Salmon apparently have double chambered hearts? And that’s unique? I’m no marine biologist, ok?

+ Next week is the highly anticipated 300th episode!

The Walking Dead 802: “The Damned”

Written by Stef

Tara is alive on The Walking Dead. Somehow however many years after the zombie apocalypse she found these sunglasses and some Twizzlers. Honestly like I like that they haven’t killed her yet for political reasons but there is no reason for this character to be anywhere.

I watched “The Damned” with my eyes half closed while almost asleep and it was pretty much the worst episode of this show I’ve ever seen. It was just people shooting each other the whole time, a lot of characters I didn’t recognize so I didn’t know which side they were even on. At one point I thought Rick was literally fighting himself. Tara is still alive! But she’s definitely going to get killed soon; she had a really intense scene where she wanted to kill a guy who was unarmed with his hands up and Jesus (a real character on this show) was like “No, he’s surrendering, we don’t do that.” And she was like BUT WE HAVE TO and Jesus was like “I know they killed your girlfriend but this is not the way.” And i’m glad they remembered that Tara ever even had a girlfriend. Anyway she’s losing her shit and will probably be dead next week or the week after

It was a real journey. this show loves to play with that theme, WHAT HAPPENS WHEN GOOD PEOPLE LOSE THEIR HUMANITY???

I wasn’t sure if i was just out of it so I looked at the AV Club review and they said, “It ends up just being a bunch of scenes of sweaty people glaring at each other and firing automatic weapons, sometimes in front of a building, sometimes in the corridors of a building, and sometimes in the woods.” I feel vindicated.

---

Scandal 705: “Adventures in Babysitting”

Written by Carmen

This week Shonda Rhimes featured queer women characters in each of her Thursday offerings. As it relates to Scandal, this came in the form of President Rashad’s college-aged niece Yasmeen, and her girlfriend Jillian.

The episode follows the second Grant Administration (does anyone else still tear up when seeing Mellie Grant, thinking what life could have been like with a female President? Just me?) as they handle the aftermath of a military coup in the fictional Middle Eastern country of Bashran. While the White House helps ousted President Rashad, Quinn Perkins & Associates is charged with protecting his niece. Bashran is a conservative nation with few women’s rights. President Rashad has been publicly upholding those values, but quietly sending his own niece to Dartmouth to receive a liberal arts education. She majors in English and with a minor in Gender Studies. Now that Bashran has been taken over by radical fundamentalists, she’s in danger.

Quinn and Charlie remove Yasmeen from Dartmouth immediately. They take away all of her technology and internet access — which Charley hilariously calls, “Movie theatre rules; if it lights up or makes noise it goes in the box”. Little did they know, hell hath no fury like a teenage lesbian scorned. As soon as Charley turns his back Yasmeen makes a run for it and returns to Dartmouth for her girlfriend Jillian, a super adorable Asian American co-ed in an olive green peacoat. Yasmeen’s terrified of what it would mean to return to Bashran as a queer feminist. She also doesn’t want to leave the love of her young life behind.

Quinn reasons with a tearful, but incredibly courageous, Yasmeen. As long as she remains hiding in the United States, she risks being found by the rebel insurgents of her home country and killed. If she returns with her uncle, she can help make real change in Bashran as a part of his newly pledged progressive platform. The choice is awful. But, at least it’s hers to make. Jillian agrees; she wants nothing more than for Yasmeen to become the next Gloria Steinem. Ultimately, Yasmeen decides to board the plane with her uncle, fists gripping tightly to her backpack and thanking Quinn for her help. It’s all for naught. The plane gets blown up, with both Yasmeen and President Rashad onboard, before it even leaves the tarmac.

Who blew up the plane? I don’t know. I do know that I’m sad to lose Yasmeen, who was so great in her brief time on screen. I mourn her leaving us so quickly.

“Scandal” Breaks Our Hearts With an Elderly Lesbian Couple and Jasika Nicole

Just one week after perhaps the most powerful episode in the show’s history, Shonda Rhimes’ force-of-nature hit show Scandal has once again destroyed our hearts. While last week it was because of a tragic, poignant and timely story about an unarmed black teenager being murdered by a racist police officer, this week’s story touched the souls of audiences everywhere with two tales of love trying to rise above what seem like impossible situations.

Obviously, heavy spoilers for last night’s episode to follow.

Early in the episode, Olivia Pope is talking on the phone when she hears an argument across the hall from her. A woman named Rose is out there defending Olivia’s across-the-hall neighbor’s apartment from having its locks changed. If you recall, when Olivia was kidnapped, her abductors dragged her into this apartment to hide her. They were, unfortunately, also holding Lois, the woman who lived there, hostage and shot her to help create a way to get Olivia out of the building and get rid of the witness. At first, when Olivia says she’ll help, Rose says that she and Lois were good friends, but there are a lot of clues that there’s more to it than that. They spend all day, every day together, they go on vacation together, she has Lois’ power of attorney; Rose says she knows Lois like she knows herself.

After Olivia spends most of the episode trying to find Lois’ body, she tells Rose that things aren’t looking good, and that maybe she shouldn’t have her hopes up. Rose says she understands this. She knows Lois is gone. She also says that Lois was the love of her life. The pain in her voice when she says “I know she didn’t just get lost. I know she’s gone, I can feel it, But I still need to know what happened,” is palpable. This is the first time I cried during this episode.

These two fell in love when they were sixteen, sixty years earlier. The show completely breaks our hearts when Rose says that Lois’ parents found out about the two of them and moved her out of state. And that she understands why. She says “I couldn’t blame ’em; that was sixty years ago. It was hard enough being black, let alone black and gay,” and our collective hearts drop into our feet. In their time apart, Lois got married to man, but she and Rose never stopped loving each other. Rose says that when Lois’ husband died, she wrote Rose a letter, and an hour later, Rose hopped on a plane to be with the love of her life. In response to Olivia’s question as to why the two never lived together, even after Lois’ husband died, Rose gives the perfectly adorable Old Lady answer of “she kept that damn place way too hot.”

It is so amazing and so important to see older queer women on TV like this, and especially older queer women of color. We already get so little representation for queer women, and diversity in that representation is even rarer. Seeing their stories is vitally important. A character like Rose, wonderfully played by Marla Gibbs who was nominated for five Emmys for her role as Florence on The Jeffersons and later stared in and co-produced the sitcom 227, lets us see the very real and very human side of our community’s history. A character like this gives us a direct account of how hard it was to be black, gay and a woman in previous generations in America, and it’s important that we learn about and from our past. We learn so much about our community and so much about ourselves when we see stories like this. After all, how can we know where we’re going if we don’t know where we’ve been?

The other highlight of this episode for me was Jasika Nicole’s storyline and performance. Jasika Nicole is the supremely talented actress, artist, craft master, seamstress, knitter and all-around adorable person who plays Huck’s long-lost wife, Kim, on the show. She also gives terrifically fun-to-read interviews and will be one of the special guests at the upcoming spring A-Camp.

Kim had some real screen time this episode for the first time in a while, and boy oh boy did she make the most of it. First she shows up in US Attorney General David Rosen’s office on a day when he’s accepting visits from random people off the street (it’s very reminiscent of Leo McGarry’s Big Block of Cheese Day), including one man who says the moon is just a hologram. Instead of saying something equally ridiculous, she walks in and says that her husband used to be an assassin for a secret government agency called B613. She even has the files to prove it. If you’re familiar at all with the show Scandal, you know that this means that the chance she’s going to be murdered just skyrocketed. Obviously, this would be the absolute worst and I was ridiculously worried about her safety for the rest of the episode.

Kim and Diego (that’s Huck’s real name, and boy is it weird to hear someone call Huck anything other than “Huck” as much as Kim does) are finally spending some real family time together. She’s just so happy now that she knows her husband has been telling the truth this whole time and that she can finally do something to help him. Above all, she’s proud of him for being brave and being willing to testify in front of the Attorney General so that they can finally move on with their lives and be a family again. Huck knows that it’s not that simple.

He knows the ins and outs of B613 and therefore he knows that she’s putting both of them, as well as David Rosen and Olivia Pope and everyone else on the show, in mortal danger. Huck decides that he’ll lie to Rosen, denying that he was ever a part of B613. For the first few questions of the deposition, he does exactly that. However, as soon as he sees how he’s breaking Kim’s heart and he starts remembering who they were together before B613, he starts to give real answers. When a she hears how horrifyingly he was treated, how he was put in a small, dark hole where he had to make up an entire world for himself, how he mentally wrote a letter to her and their son every day he was down there, tears are falling down her cheek. This was the second time I cried.

Both Jasika Nicole and Guillermo Diaz, who plays Huck, gave powerhouse performances in this episode. Both of them are also out, and both are people of color, and these distinctions are important. Shonda Rhimes is known for her commitment to diversity, both among her casts and her characters, and to have Nicole and Diaz, two out people of color playing a straight couple highlights that. It wasn’t that long ago that places like Newsweek argued that gay actors couldn’t convincingly play straight roles, but just on this show alone, Rhimes has these two, along with Portia de Rossi as the head of the RNC Elizabeth North, all playing straight characters. This is progress — queer representation on screen is important, and so is out queer representation on the cast list.

Toward the end of the episode, Olivia’s team eventually does find Lois’ body, thanks to the serial number on her replacement hip, and Olivia goes to break the news to Rose. Of course, just as any long-term partner would, Rose asks what happened to her, how she died. Olivia, not wanting to tell the story of Lois’ violent death, instead tells her a story about how Lois was walking in Georgetown, down by the river when she sat down on a bench and there, had a brain aneurysm. She says this is the most painless way to die, that it was just like going to sleep on a warm day, hearing the calm waters of the river beside her. While this brings some comfort to Rose, she also cries over the casket, saying, “It’s just too soon. it’s still too soon. You left way too soon. Lo, why did you have to go and have to do that? Now I’m alone, I’m all alone Lo, all alone. Things ain’t never gonna be the same without you.” I cried for a third time.

I like that Rose’s idea of using the serial number on Lois’ recently replaced hip to find her is what ultimately, helps the team find Lois in the end. There’s something satisfying in that. That it was Rose’s devotion and intimate knowledge of her loved one that allowed her to find peace. Largely, it’s Rose’s devotion to Lois that makes their love story so remarkable. As she tells Olivia when they’re still trying to find out what happened, she waited over forty years to be able to have a relationship with the woman she loved, and now that she’s gone, she’s willing to be patient enough to hang in there until the very end.

With this episode we saw a beautifully told story of love between two women that lasted for over sixty years. We saw a queer woman of color tell her story of facing intolerance and adversity so strong that it took forty years off of her relationship. We also saw that woman say that, in the end, none of that was enough to kill the love that she shared with the woman she was meant to be with. We also saw Jasika Nicole, an extremely talented openly queer, biracial actress give the best performance she’s ever given on this show. Once again, Scandal and Shonda Rhimes have delivered TV unlike anything else out there. Thanks to shows like Scandal, the stories of queer women are being told and thanks to shows like Scandal, queer people are not only getting jobs based on their talent, they’re knocking those jobs out of the park. When we talk about the future of representation on TV, Scandal is a good place to start the conversation.

Fan Fiction Friday: My 10 All-Time Favorite Femslash Stories

I’m kicking off the New Year by sharing my ten all-time super-top number-one most-favorite fan fictions. I’ve been reading and writing fic since like 2007 and I’ve kept at least one of these stories with me that whole time. All of these are on my Kindle, even though I could probably recite them from memory by now.

---

Biography, by CanadaBadGirl

Pairing: Helen and Nikki, Bad Girls

Plot: A superbly in-character AU in which master composer Nikki Wade agrees to let award-winning actress Helen Stewart follow her around and get to know her so she can portray her properly in an upcoming biopic. This is the first fan fiction I ever read, and I haven’t been the same since. I went on to write hundreds of thousands of words about these two.

Length: 67,000 words

Despite her reservations, Helen had gone out into the rain with Nikki. They’d followed a trail through the woods for about half a mile and Helen was surprised at how much the canopy of the trees protected them from the downpour. Helen had been walking slightly ahead of Nikki when they’d emerged into an overgrown field on the far side of a particularly dense thicket. The sky seemed to have brightened and the rain had become more of a drizzle. She stopped abruptly and looked around. The whole world looked freshly washed and leaves shivered in shades of emerald as water pearled and dropped from their tips. The silvery sky lent a slightly surreal atmosphere to the scene and she felt the stillness seep into her.

She’d pulled the hood off her head and listened to the whisper of the rain and the patter of water as it dripped off the trees in the woods behind them. She could smell the dampness of the ground under her feet and she’d closed her eyes to concentrate on the faint, heady aroma. Eyes still closed, she’d turned her face up to the sky and welcomed the soft caress of the rain. Her lips curved into a smile and when she’d opened her eyes, they’d looked straight into Nikki’s.

---

Coin Laundry, by goldflecks

Pairing: Naomi and Emily, Skins

Plot: An AU that will make you forget about fucking Skins Fire. It’s Naomi the artist and Emily the accountant and the story of how they meet one day in a laundromat and it derails both their lives. Completely in character, savagely romantic. The whole thing is just breathlessly written and really funny too.

Length: 79,000 words

Emily gasped at the shock of her bluff actually being called and Naomi took advantage of her parted lips to dart her tongue softly between them, tasting her mouth, the heat of it spreading throughout her entire body. I’m going to take this feeling with me, she thought. Because I can never be this girl’s friend. Her heart contracted painfully as Emily slowly pulled back. And here comes the goodbye, in three…two…one…Emily’s tongue slipped against hers, Emily’s mouth opened as Emily moaned into her, and Emily’s hand finally let go of the brush as she reached down to cup her face, deepening the kiss. The brush fell to the floor as Naomi pulled them both down the couch so that Emily was lying full length above her as her hands immediately grabbed for her, holding her there. Oh god, went her brain. Oh god, oh god, oh god.

Her hands tangled into the red hair, stroked around the back of her slim neck, traced down over the worn tshirt feeling the shape of Emily’s shoulder blades, before they slid down her back, curved around her waist and slipped under the cotton to feel her warm skin. Their tongues lashed together as the heat overwhelmed them, Emily’s fingers digging into her head as they tried to meld themselves together. Emily’s mouth tasted sharply of Corona and lime, and some kind of vanilla lip balm. She’s kissing me, Naomi’s brain finally caught up. She’s kissing me and she’s not stopping.

---

A Pirate’s Life for Me, by RaceTheWind

Pairing: Bering and Wells, Warehouse 13

Plot: Every ship in every fandom has a pirate AU, but this is the best pirate AU of them all, and the best Warehouse 13 fic, full stop. (Which is saying something; there are so many delicious Bering and Wells fics on the great wide internet.) H.G. is a pirate ship captain (obviously) and Myka is a do-gooder first mate of a Warehouse-type ship (again, obviously), and they throw each other’s lives off course so good when H.G. rescues Myka from the cruel seas.

Length: 56,000 words

H.G. Wells was widely acknowledged as an excellent swordswoman. Her battles in the service of the Warehouse were still the stuff of Agent legends and her blade was whispered to have bested every foe it crossed.

But in Myka Bering – a woman raised from birth by a father who had no son and therefore passed all his skills and expectations on to her – Wells found her equal.

Myka wasn’t just good with a blade, she was a natural. And not just with the rapier or the cutlass, but the longsword, the knife, the sabre, even the katana: Anything with an edge to it, she handled as if it were merely an extension of her arm. What had begun as a friendly offer to help Myka regain reflexes dulled slightly by injury soon turned into a daily duel that would have made even the most hardened swordsman gape. The entire ship became their sparring circle, leaving the crew to make sure they stayed out of the way (while they placed wagers).

---

Various Paige + Emily stories, by Joseph Dougherty

Pairing: Emily and Paige, Pretty Little Liars

Plot: Not only has Joseph Dougherty written some of the best episodes of Pretty Little Liars, he writes fan fiction about Paige and Emily for Amazon Worlds! This man is a national treasure. All of his novellas will make you swoon until you pass out or vomit rainbows. Each of them is set on the same timeline in an alternate world where Paige and Emily meet each other at Rosewood High in 1964. (Bonus: Mona and Ali are really good in the last book!)

Length: Novella-length

There was no one on the street, no one walking in the storm. Even if there had been, someone on the sidewalk would not have been able to see that the two girls sitting next to each other on the glider were holding hands. The table would have blocked their view. But there was no one on the street. No people, no cars driving by. Just the rain. The Earth might have been uninhabited, except for the two girls on the porch holding hands.

---

Feels Like Home, by missema

Pairing: Redguard Dovahkiin and Aela the Huntress, Skyrim

Plot: It really bums me out that there’s not more RPG femslash. The possibilities in Skyrim and Mass Effect alone are endless. This is my favorite Skyrim fanfic. Aela is such an arrogant badass, but she meets her match in the Dragonborn.

Length: 19,000

The business of Skyrim isn’t about love. The people of the harsh land, the native Nords and those who choose to settle there among the ice plains and marshes, aren’t generally looking for love. There is peace in the wind swept plateaus, and even a luxurious sort of solitude, but seldom do people expect to find love.

It is poetic the way it happens for those in the icy north – they are almost always caught by surprise. Battle and harsh weather are expected, famine and natural disasters are anticipated, bandits all too common. But love and all the complications and benefits of it cannot be prepared for in advance and seldom foreseen. the surprise is what makes the Nords fall harder, because it is always true and strong when it hits them, just like the hearts it inhabits.

---

Heavy is the Head, by devilinacardigan

Pairing: Mellie and Olivia, Scandal

Plot: What if Mellie divorced Fitz, ran for president, hired Olivia to manage her campaign, and fell in love with her? I know, man. I know. That’s the dream. I love Mellie and Olivia more than words and I hate Fitz as much as I have ever hated any fictional character in my life. More than Delores Umbridge, even? This story makes me very happy.

Length: 4,000

Mellie turns toward her and looks into the mirror behind them as Olivia pulls out a tube of lipstick. She drags the color across Mellie’s bottom lip before stopping and staring at the plump flesh. Mellie feels something deep in her gut clench. Then Olivia kisses her. Gently at first, waiting to see if Mellie will allow it and she doesn’t even like the woman 50% of the time but Olivia’s mouth is wet and sweet and willing against her own. It’s enough. It’s too much.

She groans and leans into it. Pulls Olivia’s legs down and around her waist tightly and it’s been so long since she hasn’t had to kiss someone for the cameras. Since she sincerely meant it. Stephen is sweet, a great match for her, but he’s not who she dreams about.

---

Boston Marriage, by Jae

Pairing: Paris and Rory, Gilmore Girls

Plot: Amy Sherman Palladino might as well have written this fic for how in-character it is. The dialogue is so perfect, especially everything that comes out of Paris’ mouth. Sometimes in my waking dreams, this is exactly what happened when Rory went to Yale.

Length: 5,000 words

“You’re kidding again,” Paris said.

“Well, babbling. I like that too.”

“Babbling,” Paris said thoughtfully. Then she stood straighter and put her arms behind her back. “As I was saying. I would like to make you a proposal, and I would like you to do me the courtesy of seriously considering it before making a decision.”

“You have my undivided attention,” Rory said.

“I think that it’s time that you face the fact that you will never find happiness with a man.”

---

Another Country, by tryfanstone

Pairing: Jill Pole and Susan Pevensie, The Chronicles of Narnia

Plot: There are very few things in literature that make me as mad as what C.S. Lewis did to Susan Pevensie. What a load of misogynistic bullshit that guy hurled at her! So this little ficlet that puts Susan back in the world of Narnia and lezzes her up and uses straight-up biblical apple imagery to do it? Yes, please, and may I have another.

Length: 2,300 words

In fact, it was not a good night at all. Peter and Edmund seemed tired and strained. Lucy’s laugh was too high and the lights too bright. Susan went past, dancing, in the arms of one man after another. Jill felt small and young and out of place, and after midnight when she could leave quietly she slipped away to the stables and buried her face in Puzzle’s mane. She felt rather queer and all choked up, as miserable as if she was getting a cold, but no one got ordinary illnesses in Narnia. She sniffed twice and told herself to buck up, and she was just thinking about patting Puzzle on the nose and going to bed when she heard footsteps behind her.

She turned round.

Susan was standing in the doorway. She was smiling very faintly, and her gown in starlight was all gauze and iridescence and her skin inside it as white and soft as a Christmas rose. Her hair had come loose and hung in shining waves over her shoulders, and her eyes were very bright.

---

What Love Is, by Semerket

Pairing: Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy, DCU

Plot: I’ve read probably 50 fics where Harley and Ivy finally admit they love each other and Joker is the worrrrsssst. This is the very best one of them. It’s intense and kind of dark and but also delightful.

Length: 58,000 words

The rage was now being augmented by a stream of tears, “And you know what makes me so sick? I mean, it makes me physically ill, Harley. The very idea, that after everything I’ve done for you- everything I continue to do- I actually have to compete with that son of a bitch for your affection! I spend all this time and energy on someone that wouldn’t know the definition of a healthy relationship if her life depended on it, which judging from your injuries- it does depend on it. Honestly, I don’t know why I bother with you anymore! You’ll never want me the way I want you!”

She turned as though she were about to leave, but then she spun back around to face the blond, “But how dare you come into my house and tell me that I don’t know what love is!”

---

Five Firsts for Jenny and Vastra, by gnimaerd

Pairing: Jenny Flint and Madame Vastra, Doctor Who

Plot: Jenny and Vastra are one of my favorite fictional couples ever, and there are so few well-written stories out there that really do them justice, but this one just nails it from every angle. It’s their first meeting, first blood, first argument, first kiss and first time. It’s as sweet and funny and sexy as the characters themselves.

Length: 7,000 words

Another pause, and then Vastra decides that for goodness sake this is all entirely ridiculous, and crosses the space between them and takes Jenny in her arms and kisses her, in the manner suggested by many romance novelists to be the most effective. (Vastra, much to her own shame, has developed a bit of a habit for human romance novels. Jenny reads them all the time – penny dreadfuls and the like – and she started lending them to Vastra and now somehow Vastra has more than Jenny does, although she keeps them hidden under her bed because she’d never hear the end of it if Jenny ever found them).

This kiss is substantially better than the first, though. Jenny makes a sound in the back of her throat like a startled child and throws her arms around Vastra’s neck and Vastra thinks – goodness, how very endearing, and holds her close, and feels her soft and warm Jenny’s mouth is. Her long, thin fingers have found the lesser crests on the back of Vastra’s head and the touch of her hands there is… inspiring, to say the least.

---

Your turn! Please share your all-time favorite femslash fan fics from any fandom in the whole world!

Autostraddle’s 2014 Fall TV Preview: Queers and Women of Color All Over Your Teevee

Well this week kicks off what’s certain to be a groundbreaking fall television season, chock-full of racially diverse casts and pioneering explorations of gender identity. Lesbian representation isn’t exactly fantastic, however, especially with Pretty Little Liars and The Fosters not returning full-force until 2015 and Glee‘s premiere date TBA, and we’ve got some waiting to do for the return of queer female characters on Chasing Life, Orphan Black, Masters of Sex, Orange is the New Black, House of Cards, The Bridge and Lost Girl. But hopefully the lady-loving ladies of Gotham, Faking It, Transparent and a few more shows will tide us over. Let’s talk about it.

---

Monday

Gotham (FOX)

September 22nd, 8pm – NEW

Intern Grace will be recapping Gotham for Autostraddle.

This series tells the story of Batman before he became Batman and was just a wee little thing in the world surrounded by villains before they become villains. It’s also shaping up to be a very diverse enterprise — as reported by The Advocate, “in this reimagining, women of color are depicted in positions of power on both sides of the law, and strong LGBT characters are an essential part of the story from the first episode.” Latina lesbian detective Renee Motoya will be played by Victoria Cartagena and we have it on good authority that Jada Pinkett Smith’s character, mob boss Fish Mooney, won’t be “entirely straight” either.

Sleepy Hollow (Fox)

September 22nd, 9pm – Season Two

By Rachel: “Although not explicitly gay, Sleepy Hollow has won my heart via having a variety of PoC actors in starring roles (Nicole Beharie, Orlando Jones, Lyndie Greenwood, John Cho), fairly scary monsters, little-to-no boring hetero romance subplots, and I have not had to see Tom Mison naked, nor watch anyone have sex with him. Although last season ended on a fairly dark note, even for a show about the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse bringing about the end times, next season promises that our favorite characters will be at the very least alive and that the Mills sisters will continue to look dreamy while carrying lots of guns and Ichabod will bring even more wacky anachronisms into our lives.”

Jane The Virgin (the CW)

October 13th, 9pm – NEW

Based on Venezuelan telenovela Juana la Virgen, this show stars Gina Rodriguez as a straight-laced virgin who is accidentally inseminated by an exhausted ob-gyn who was supposed to give her a pap smear. It’s a wacky and undoubtedly heterosexual premise but considering that Hispanic and Latin@ folks are the most under-represented racial group on television relative to their representation in the actual US population, I’m down to give this show a chance. Plus, Diane Guerrero (Maritza on Orange is the New Black) and trans actress Carmen Carrera will both make appearances in Season One! Entertainment Weekly notes that “to nail the cultural references, Urman hired two Hispanic writers, including tele-novela veteran Carolina Rivera. Rodriguez, 30, gives notes too.” It’s a sad day in the world when a show about Hispanic people gets a pat on the back for hiring actual Hispanic writers but um, baby steps?

---

Tuesday

Faking It (MTV)

September 23rd, 10pm – Season Two

Riese will be recapping Faking It for Autostraddle.

You’ve probably already got some strong feelings about this show, negative or positive. I personally feel very hopeful! This season has a lot of promise — in addition to Amy boldly braving the murky waters of lesbian dating, Lauren will [SPOILER ALERT] come out as intersex, making her (I believe) the first intersex character since that one girl on Freaks and Geeks. I also look forward to meeting Amy’s eventual love interest Reagan, a “hip, edgy lesbian with a rebellious streak,” and Laverne Cox‘s Margot, “director of Hester High’s elite drama club.” For more about Season Two, check out our post here.

---

Wednesday

American Horror Story: Freakshow (FX)

October 8th, 10pm – Season Four

Chelsea will be recapping American Horror Story for Autostraddle.

If you’re a fan of gay lady Sarah Paulson, how do you feel about two Sarah Paulsons at one time? You’ll find out this fall on American Horror Story, when Sarah Paulson will be playing conjoined twins. Kathy Bates returns to the franchise as the bearded lady, Angela Bassett will have three breasts, Jessica Lange will be a former German cabaret star and Evan Peters will be Lobster Boy. Also, Pepper from Asylum is returning to tell the tale of who Pepper was before Asylum. Undoubtedly, showrunner Ryan Murphy will find a way to offend people repeatedly during this season but you’ll have to tune in to find out how! (Sidenote: two longreads I’ve enjoyed recently about the “freak show” business: I Was a Teenage Freak and Behold! The Heartbreaking, Hair-Raising Tale Of Freak Show Star Julia Pastrana, Mexico’s Monkey Woman.)

Red Band Society (Fox)

September 17th, 9pm – NEW

Andrea Parker will be playing a lesbian mom on “Red Band Society,” a new drama that also features GLAAD spokesperson Wilson Cruz, best beloved for his role as Ricky Vasquez on My So-Called Life, and takes place in the pediatric wing of a hospital. Executive Producer Margaret Nagle was tapped by Fox and Steven Spielberg’s Amblin Entertinment to develop the show, based on the Spanish drama Polseres Vermelles. It’s narrated by a boy in a coma and features a rag-tag band of teenagers who basically live in the hospital due to various circumstances such as cancer and anorexia. Octavia Spencer plays Nurse Jackson, who supervises the wing with a dude played by a dude.

Black-ish (ABC)

September 24th, 9:30 PM

This sitcom got a lot of buzz during upfronts! Of the initial trailer, Brittani wrote, “I am in. I am all in. I do not care about the think pieces to come. I do not care about the policing white people will do. I do not care about the microscope this show will be put under. Sign me the fuck up.” SO THERE YOU GO.

---

Thursday

Grey’s Anatomy (ABC)

September 25th, 8pm – Season 11

Gabby will be recapping the gay parts of Grey’s Anatomy for Autostraddle because loyal reader Carmen Sandiego asked us to.

In the season premiere, lesbian couple Callie and Arizona will “come to a decision about surrogacy.” Probably mostly we’ll be listening to Meredith Grey complain about shit though. Just a guess.

Scandal (ABC)

September 25th, 9pm – Season 4

You were gonna watch Scandal anyhow because everybody watches Scandal and everybody has a crush on Kerry Washington, but you’ll REALLY wanna watch Scandal this season ’cause Portia De Rossi has been confirmed for a multi-episode arc.

How To Get Away With Murder (ABC)

September 25th, 10pm

This show rounds out Shonda Rhimes’ total domination of Thursday nights and promises a “healthy dose of violence and sex.” There’s a gay male character, Connor Walsh, played by Jack Falahee, and Bennett from Orange is the New Black also stars, but we’re way more excited about having such a racially diverse cast with Viola Davis at the helm. Also CRIME DRAMA.

---

Friday

Cristela (ABC)

October 10th, 8:30pm – NEW

Comedian Cristela Alonzo created this semi-autobiographical sitcom about a legal intern in Texas based on her own struggles to balance work and family. “The only auditions I used to get were housekeepers,” she told Entertainment Weekly. “Those are great stories, and those stories should be told. But we all have different jobs. It’s 2014. You have a Latina who created, writes and stars on this show on network TV. Let’s celebrate this.”

---

Saturday

Saturday Night Live (NBC)

September 27th, 11:30pm – Season 40

Praise Lesbian Jesus for Kate McKinnon who is undoubtedly the highlight of this legendary sketch comedy series these days, which got in trouble last year for hiring a bunch more white guys when it already had SO MANY WHITE GUYS. Black female comedian Sasheer Zamata joined mid-season and will be returning for Season 40. Furthermore, Michael Che, who wrote for the series last season, will be joining the cast as Weekend Update’s first black anchor. He’s replacing Cecily Strong at the Update desk, which I hope means she’ll be doing that annoying girl at the party character again because that shit was HILARIOUS. Noël Wells, the show’s first Hispanic female cast member, won’t be returning for Season 40, nor will white dude John Milhiser or white dude Brooks Wheelan. I think a new white guy has been hired to replace one of those white guys, but IDK they all look the same to me.

---

Sunday

The Good Wife (CBS)

September 21st, 9pm – Season 6

Is Kalinda gonna hook up with any girls this season? You guys should watch it and let me know.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine (Fox)

September 28th, 9pm – Season 2

This show is really funny and racially diverse and the captain is a black gay man who really breaks type. Mic even declared it the most progressive sitcom on television.

The Walking Dead (AMC)

October 12th, 9pm – Season 5

By Laura Mandanas: Since we last spoke, the less developed half of The Walking Dead’s queer lady couple got killed off during a battle between Rick’s party and a hostile outside group. Although I was sad to see Alisha go, the good news is that Tara Chalmers (played by Alanna Masterson) lives on and has been promoted to a series regular!  As of the the end of last season, Tara was being held hostage in a boxcar with Michonne, Sasha, Maggie, Glenn, Rick, Carl, Daryl and a couple others I don’t really care about. Season 5 promises to be a bloody one, as a) all signs point to the “Termites” being cannibals, and b) Rick literally just ripped some guy’s throat out with his teeth. Also! The show’s creators have been hinting that they’re going to introduce a gay male character and it might be Daryl. (Except, duh, he was totally into Beth last season, so he’s either bi or they’re talking about someone else.) The premiere is on October 12.

The Comeback (HBO)

November 9th, 1opm – Season 2

UGH THIS SHOW WAS SO GOOD WHEN IT WAS ON. Then it got cancelled because the world is a cruel dark place and Lisa Kudrow is too good for this world (except for Web Therapy, that show is the worst). The Comeback picks up nine years after the 2005 cancellation with washed-up actress’ Valerie Cherish’s continued attempts to recharge her dwindling career. There aren’t any queer females in it, but her hairdresser Mickey will finally be out of the closet and embracing his gay identity.

---

Streaming

Transparent (Amazon Prime)

September 26th

Rachel will be recapping Transparent for Autostraddle.

One of this season’s most buzzed-about shows for queers won’t be on television — it’s on Amazon Prime, and it’s called Transparent, and it centers on Maura (played by Jeffery Tambor), a mother coming out late in life as a trans woman. Show creator Jill Soloway (Six Feet Under, The United States of Tara) has loaded the program with LGBTQ characters. Plus, according to Entertainment Weekly, twenty-five members of the cast and crew are transgender! Amy Landecker plays Maura’s daughter Sarah, who has dated both men and women and sees a girlfriend from college resurface in the pilot. Gaby Hoffman plays Maura’s child Ali, who is coming into her own genderqueer identity.

The cast includes transgender actress Alexandra Billings, the adorable Alison Sudol of A Fine Frenzy, transgender actress/producer Zackary Drucker (who you may recognize from Amos Mac’s Translady Fanzine), bisexual actress Carrie Brownstein, lesbian comedian Tig Notaro, lesbian writer Ali Liebegott, transgender actress Roxy Wood and transgender comedian and actor Ian Harvie.

Words With Girls (Color Creative TV)

September 23rd

Okay, so this is just a pilot, not an entire series, but if you want it to be an entire series, you should definitely watch the pilot. Written and created by our very own Brittani Nichols, the show will premiere on Issa Rae and Denise Davis’s Color Creative TV on my birthday, September 23rd! This smart and funny “lesbian relationship comedy” dropped its first trailer today and you can read alllll about it right here. Imagine if this was like, on FOX, then we would’ve officially Won Television.

---

What are you excited to watch this fall? Did I miss anything? Let’s talk about it.

Top Eight TV Female Bosses Who Aren’t Afraid To Get Bossy

Despite a childhood and adolescence throughout which I was routinely described as “bossy,” I find the day-to-day realities of being the boss to be very challenging. For example, sometimes I feel like the worst boss ever and at those times I want to run away and live on a raft on the ocean or go write a novel in the woods! Sometimes I want to smash pudding into my face! Sometimes I want to fire myself / everybody! Sometimes I don’t want to ever have to tell anybody else what to do, ever! Sometimes I want The Internet to die in a fire! But most of the time I feel lucky to have such a wonderful team and to work for such a wonderful group of readers.

It doesn’t help that there’s not much out there in terms of role models for Ladies in Charge. The archetypal female boss in the media is either incompetent or cold, ruthless and impersonal. She has no romantic life ’cause she’s “married to the job.” She is especially brutal to female underlings. She’s often a conceited meglomaniac! But every now and then, a lady comes along who breaks the mold and I cling to these precious few with obsessive fervor.

So, let us present our favorite television bosses — mine, with some expert opinions thrown in from other Autostraddle team members.

---

Top Eight Lady TV Bosses

Captain Janeway, Star Trek Voyager

Much like Adama in Battlestar, Janeway started Voyager in a hopeless place — marooned in the Delta Quandrant, 75,000 light years from earth, unsure if they’d ever see their home again. She was not only forced to lead fairly and ambitiously, but also to keep morale high in uncharted waters. The first female captain on a Star Trek show, she boldly went there with a style that wasn’t reminiscent of previous captains but firmly and uniquely her own. Plus then she went to prison with a bunch of lesbians and became Boss of the Kitchen and then Boss of the Greenhouse, so.

---

Leslie Knope, Parks & Recreation

Hansen: “Leslie Knope would be the best boss of all time because she’s an amazing, driven role model for all of her employees… even though they take her for granted. She puts her community first, because she believes in the goodness of people. She listens to the woes of her community and department and makes honest attempts to fix what is wrong, even when it may not be super convenient for her. She believes in the power of women and champions female leadership, never shying away from moving on up in politics despite the rampant misogyny in city council elections. She’s not perfect, either, and forgives others for their imperfections, as well. She also knows all of the words to Parents Just Don’t Understand, which is vital.”

---

Tami Taylor, Friday Night Lights

Tami Taylor is the best parent and the best wife and the best human and THE BEST BOSS EVER. She’s got this polished Southern charm that somehow softens the repeated blows she delivers to the bureaucrats and lazy assholes standing between her students and their education. She wants a better system and will fight for it, no matter what, and even stands up to her co-worker’s apathy. This tenacity lands her a job as the BIG BOSS of a University. Then there’s how she tells her husband that it’s time her career takes precedence over his for once, which is one of the best Tami Taylor moments and one of the best Friday Night Lights moments ever. I JUST LOVE THIS WOMAN I CAN’T STOP TALKING ABOUT HER ALL THE TIME

---

Miranda Bailey, Grey’s Anatomy

Cleo: “Dr. Miranda Bailey is the best boss at Seattle Grace Hospital. She rules her interns with an iron fist and a set of rules for their residency that include “not waking up her unless a patient is dying” and “not sucking up” — because she already hates them. She doesn’t play favorites, so each wannabe surgeon must meet her high standards of care when treating patients in order to earn the right to enter an OR. She instills in them the idea that residency isn’t about the glory of being surgeon, it’s about healing. On the flipside, she calls the interns her babies and takes time to give them what they needed to become better doctors as well as people. She never asks Christina to turn down her intellect or drive, but makes sure to remind her that each patient is person, not a career stepping stone. And while all of the aforementioned things contribute to her awesome bossness, the thing that makes her a truly awesome boss is her creation of the clinic at Seattle Grace. She created it because she was losing faith in medicine being about healing and needed a way to help people in a manner that was meaningful and drama free. By doing this she showed her interns and residents that self-care and career advancement don’t have to be mutually exclusive. And maybe more importantly, that you can change your plan and the world won’t end. Dr. Bailey is a surgeon, clinic head, mother and The Boss.”

---

Ellen Morgan, The Ellen Show

You guys, she’s a lesbian independent bookstore owner. That’s just inherently perfect.

---

Liz Lemon, 30 Rock.

Stef: “As the acting Kermit the Frog to TGS’ Muppet Show, Liz Lemon is in charge of keeping a thousand moving parts and unreliable human beings operational. She’s refreshing to watch as a character because she’s a smart, single woman attempting (and often failing) to balance a personal life with her demanding career. As a boss, she’s shown as mostly trying to remain rational, dealing with issues between her staff that logically shouldn’t be her problem (but often are). The staff of TGS operate as an enormously dysfunctional family with questionable strengths and often absurd complications. At the heart of all of this confusion is Liz Lemon, who cares enough to keep her team centered and on their game enough to deliver a live show week after week. Without Lemon at the helm, it’s unlikely that TGS would be able to thrive or even continue to exist as a show. Lemon is happy to go to bat for her colleagues, and recognizes potential and positive qualities in each of them. In rare episodes where Liz is presented with the option of a promotion or a more appealing job, it’s clear that her focus is on the quality of her work with TGS and her connection with all the people who make it happen.”

---

Bette Porter, The L Word

This sounds fucked up — but then again, so is the entire damn world — but until seeing The L Word, I’d never seen an example of a woman getting ahead in the workplace without pandering to male attention. I’d personally found my advancement and level of acceptance in every workplace I’d worked in, especially restaurants and temp jobs at banks, tightly linked to my ability to charm, attract or date male higher-ups or even well-liked male co-workers. But Bette didn’t take shit from anybody and often verged deliciously into misandry, whether she was heading up the California Center For the Arts, the Art Department at California University or that gallery situation with Jessie Spano. When in doubt, I tend to go meek, but when Bette Porter is in doubt, she defaults to strong. Plus she looks hot in pantsuits HEY-O.

---

Olivia Pope, Scandal

This weekend Kerry Washington spoke at BlogHer, an annual convention primarily geared towards lady-writers and I was there teaching people how to start their own Media Company (which required a certain degree of confidence I’m not always comfortable with). Prior to Kerry Washington’s moment on stage, I was telling a tablemate about how before business meetings, Alex and I will try to channel Olivia Pope and remind ourselves not to Take Anybody’s Shit and that We Know What We’re Doing and will Own The Room, and she said she does the exact same thing! Olivia Pope: inspires all of us to own the room and keep it pro. Oh, by the way, Kerry Washington is even more beautiful and perfect in person.

---

If you need more bossy inspiration, I suggest listening to this playlist my special activity partner made me to inspire me to remember that I Am The Boss, even when I Really Don’t Feel Like One.

Portia de Rossi Is Joining “Scandal” As If You Needed Another Reason To Watch

In truly adorable fashion, Ellen DeGeneres announced yesterday via twitter that her wife, Portia De Rossi will be joining the cast of Scandal. Degeneres tweets: “So annoying when people brag on twitter & that’s why I’m not tweeting that Portia just signed on to do a top secret arc on ‘Scandal’. Oops.” This power-couple — whose first and last names elude any attempts at Brangelina-ing—just cannot stop winning. The calculated-but-classy humility about the whole thing just makes me all queery-eyed. (1st strike for bad puns.)

So annoying when people brag on twitter & that’s why I’m not tweeting that Portia just signed on to do a top secret arc on “Scandal”. Oops.

— Ellen DeGeneres (@TheEllenShow) July 23, 2014

Ellen’s marriage to De Rossi in 2008 solidified each of their places in lesbian royalty for all time, which means you need to be updated on all of their subsequent achievements. Any good news for… Prellen? Ellortia?… is good news for us.

Let’s take a stroll down memory lane, shall we? De Rossi, born in Australia as Amanda Lee Rogers, legally changed her name to Portia Lee James Degeneres in 2010. After moving to America, De Rossi landed a major roles on Ally McBeal in 1998, Arrested Development in 2003, and in Ellen Degeneres’s bedroom in 2004. Since marrying, both stars have enjoyed successful careers, De Rossi with a notable role in the eventually cancelled ABC series Better Off Ted in 2009. This latest surprise arc in Scandal is surely just the next step in De Rossi’s conquering of the small screen.

The creator of Scandal, Shonda Rhimes, is no stranger to putting unexpected faces in leading roles. Now filming its fourth season, Scandal is one of the first primetime television series to star a Black woman, Kerry Washington. Though not entirely the first of its kind, Scandal is certainly the most successful, with two Primetime Emmy nominations, one win, and a nomination for the 2014 Golden Globes. The majority of these nominations are for an outstanding performance by Washington in her role as Olivia Pope.

Putting the two pioneer women on screen together only seems fitting. You can wait alongside me on bated breath for the new season, set to air September 25 at 9pm on ABC.

A Gay Girl’s Guide To Fall 2013 Television

It’s been a delightful summer for fans of girl-on-girl television: we had returning lezzers on Pretty Little Liars and True Blood, brand-new lezzers on The Fosters, a lesbian clone on Orphan Black, a gay extravaganza on Orange is the New Black and bit parts for queer characters on The Killing, Ray Donovan and Mistresses. Unfortunately, the fall television landscape pales in comparison when it comes to lady-lovers.

We’ve got a lot of lady-fronted projects, though, although whether or not they’ll be any good remains to be seen.

Fall 2013 Television: Here’s What’s Going On

Sundays

The Good Wife

CBS, 9:00 PM
Premieres September 29th

It’s The Good Wife’s fifth season, and everybody’s wondering what’ll happen next for Alicia and Cary’s plan to ditch Lockhart/Gardner and start their own firm. Others are wondering what’ll happen next for Kalinda w/r/t making out with girls — and there’s good news on that front! Juliet Rylance is joining the Season Five cast as Kalinda’s new love interest Holly, “a whip-smart Assistant State’s Attorney who shares a past with Kalinda.” Also of interest to women who love bossy women: Stockard Channing will reprise her role as Alicia’s Mom.

http://youtu.be/jo_UZh-YPU0

NEW! The Masters of Sex

Showtime, 10:00 PM
premieres September 29th

It’s the story of a lovely lady who was associated with a very lovely man, and the two of them decided to start doing human sexuality research, and that’s how they became The Masters of Sex! Based on the true story of sex research pioneers William Masters and Virginia Johnson, this show stars Lizzy Caplan as Virginia, “a club singer-turned-orgasm-expert.” History! Sex! Women’s sexuality! Feminism!

http://youtu.be/JqwahKjI2bg

Our Verdict: Lizzy Caplan, women’s history, and sex research? We’re in.

NEW! The Witches of East End

Lifetime, Sundays, 10 PM
premieres October 6th

Based on the books by Melissa de la Cruz (I assumed it was based on The Witches of Eastwick, but I guess I’m behind the times), The Washington Post gives this lady-laden program a “C,” describing it as “it’s almost as if “True Blood” tried to conceive a demon baby with “Bunheads.” Seems about right.

Our Verdict: Will almost definitely be terrible.

---

Mondays

NEW! Mom

CBS, 9:30 PM
premieres September 23

We’re supposed to be really pumped about this show, because it stars Anna Faris, and Anna Faris is a lady. It also features Alison Janey, and we all love Alison Janey. But every time that laugh track elbows its way into my earspace, I ask myself, “is this show really for me? Or is it for people who aren’t total bitches and therefore can tolerate laugh tracks?”

The premise is that Anna Faris’s character, Christy, is a newly-sober single mom of two, and her mother (played by Janey) is a recovering alcoholic, and Christy is dating her boss at the restaurant where she waits tables. Also her teenage daughter is rebellious. The New York Times admits that Mom is both “wittier and sweeter” than the new FOX show Dads (a Seth McFarlane production that follows two Dads who move in with their sons) as well as “genuinely provocative.” Why is this show so much better than Dads? “Moms behaving badly aren’t a new thing, but on a prime time show, it still feels a little transgressive. Men who act like boys, on the other hand, are so familiar that they’re almost retro.” There you have it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vlVG3EY35os

Our Verdict: This really could go either way.

NEW! Hostages

CBS, 10:00 PM
premieres September 30

This show seems expensive. Produced by Jerry Bruckheimer and billed as a “high-octane suspense drama,” it’s on my radar ’cause Toni Collette is involved, playing a “premiere surgeon thrust into a chilling political conspiracy when her family is taken hostage by rogue FBI Agent Duncan Carlisle.” The L.A. Times marks the show as CBS’s bid to do drama like cable does drama, with “dark, character-driven entertainment,” quoting executive producer, writer and director Jeffrey Nachmanoff describing the show as “Downton Abbey meets 24.”

http://youtu.be/3zMy9Xd6txg

Our Verdict: Expect a carefully constructed television program that will grab you whether you want it to or not. Much like a hostage-taker! Hahahahaha.

---

Tuesdays

NEW! Lucky 7

ABC, 10:00 PM
premieres September 24th

Seven co-workers at a Queens gas station play the lottery every week and then one day they win and then their lives turn upside-down! If you’ve been missing sweet sweet Vera Burr from Bomb Girls, you’ll be excited to reunite with actress Anastasia Phillips in Lucky 7 — she plays single Mom Leanne Maxwell. The Washington Post says “it’s basically a caper disguised as a drama, and we could use a caper on prime-time TV.” Isiah Witlock Jr. from The Wire also stars.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKZifrUKXJk

Our Verdict: Initial reviews are relatively strong, and it could be a nice break from the procedurals and high-concept thrillers clogging up most major network’s hour-long drama slots.

Chicago Fire

NBC, 10:00 PM
Premieres September 24th

Chicago Fire, a fantastic program about, I assume, fires in Chicago, should be on your to-watch list because there’s a lesbian character named Leslie Shay. Yup. That’s all I got.

NEW! Ravenswood

ABC Family, 8:00 PM
premieres October 29th

Caleb, Hannah’s lesbian boyfriend from Pretty Little Liars, heads up the ensemble of this new PLL spin-off, which revolves around “the curse that plagues the town of Ravenswood.” If it’s anything like Rosewood, I imagine that curse is that the victims of said curse learn absolutely nothing from their mistakes and also never go to class.  Also starring is tall drink of water Britne Oldford, who you may recognize from the failed US edition of Skins or the second season of American Horror Story.

Our Verdict: Will probably be more of the same, but we’ll give it a chance.

NEW! Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D

ABC, 8:00 PM
premieres September 24th

“Leave it to Joss Whedon to co-create a smarter superhero drama, one that geeks out over conventions as often as it skewers them,” says Entertainment Weekly. “Look it’s Ming-Na Wen in tight black leather!”, says us. No but seriously, this Avengers spin-off is definitely one of the fall’s most eagerly-anticipated offerings.

Our Verdict: Watch it.

The Mindy Project

Fox, 9:30 PM
Premieres September 17th

Season Two of this honestly quite funny little program returns with cast members Anders Holm, Chris Messina and Chloe Sevigny joining guest stars James Franco and um, Kris Humphries? Glenn Howerton of It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia will be joining the cast as Mindy’s new love interest.

---

Next: Thursday night’s jam-packed with goodies (and Glee), Rebel Wilson makes her American prime-time debut and American Horror Story has a lot in store for Season Three.