Gay TikTok Investigates: Is Vanessa Carlton’s “A Thousand Miles” About Sara Ramirez and/or Rutina Wesley?
Google News alerts me any time any celebrity says anything that’s even leaning up against the idea of being gay — or when websites lie about it. Starting two weeks ago I kept hearing that Vanessa Carlton’s “A Thousand Miles” was about Jessica Chastain, but I also kept hearing that Kristen Stewart was going to make another Twilight movie if Bella Swan could be bisexual. Just a lot of bananapants rumors out here, you know? Okay, but then! Today! My Sara Ramirez Google News alert mentioned this Vanessa Carlton/Jessica Chastain thing, so I finally clicked on it — and lo! Queer Christian musician Grace Baldridge, from the TikTok The Baldridges, has done a special investigation about Vanessa Carlton’s “A Thousand Miles” and decided it’s either about Jessica Chastain, Sara Ramirez, or Rutina Wesley, which means this thing now has my full attention.
@semlerrrr The truth is out there! #athousandmiles #lgbt #vanessacarlton
Okay so the theory goes like this: Vanessa Carlton is a known bisexual who one time said “A Thousand Miles” is about a crush she had on someone who went to Juilliard with her. And guess who went to Juilliard with her? Yuh: Other known queers Sara Ramirez and Rutina Wesley! Grace Baldridge also points out that walking really fast with a blank stare on your face is queer culture, and I cannot disagree.
I would also point out, as we often do when we talk about Taylor Swift, that straight people simply do not pine with the same kind of intensity as queer people. Walking one hundred miles on a treadmill in an air conditioned room seems straight; walking one thousand miles through a mystical timeless void? That’s gay. Also, there’s at least three employees of Autostraddle dot com who would absolutely walk one thousand miles through the flames of literal hell for Sara Ramirez and Rutina Wesley, so, I mean, there’s a precedent.
Thank you for your investigatory work, Grace Baldridge! We look forward to your next gay deep dive about which soft butch Kacey Musgraves’ song “Space Cowboy” is about.
@semlerrrr who wouldn’t walk a thousand miles for @jes_chastain ????
Your 2018 Gal Pal Roundup: The 8 Couples(?!) Who Won 20GayTeen
Guys! What a year! I don’t know about you, but I went on TWO WHOLE DATES in 2018! (This is bullshit, please come at me, 2019.) Instead, I spent the majority of my free time pouring over the love lives of a bunch of rich and famous people I don’t actually know! Please join me on this vicarious journey through other people’s relationships!!!
Ellen Page & Emma Portner
Honestly, I feel like this year has aged me approximately 10,000 years, but it believe it or not it was only January 3rd when we first reported the marriage of Ellen Page and her very flexible new wife! Since then they’ve smiled together in a lot of Instagrams and made a Christmas soup.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BrwDiS3BPlb/
Sarah Paulson & Holland Taylor
In dark times, Sarah Paulson and Holland Taylor have reminded me that love is (maybe) real. When they tweet adoringly, I swear I can hear the sound of woodland creatures singing.
*gasp*
Sweetheart.
— Holland Taylor (@HollandTaylor) August 18, 2018
Cara Delevingne + Paris Jackson
Listen, I know that Cara is (most likely) dating Ashley Benson these days, and Paris Jackson swears up and down that she and Cara never had any kind of monogamous situation in place. Still, the photos/video of Cara and Paris dancing outside a restaurant, while a bemused Macaulay Culkin watches on, remain one of my favorite visuals in this sizzling trash heap of a year. This video is to 2018 as that footage of Miley Cyrus groping Stella Maxwell in the parking lot of a steakhouse was to 2015.
YOU’RE WELCOME.
Hayley Kiyoko + That Girl She Turned Gay
The power of Lesbian Eye Contact cannot be denied.
https://twitter.com/vannyhearts/status/985284390136590336
Emily Hampshire & Teddy Geiger
These two lovebirds seem to treat their entire social media presence as one giant multimedia love letter to one another, and it’s goddamn adorable. They only confirmed their relationship to the internet at large in mid-August, and already they were engaged in November. Since then, they haven’t stopped staring at one another, and I for one am extremely here for it.
Rutina Wesley & Chef Shonda
My favorite thing about these two is how clearly over-the-moon-in-love Rutina is, and how much she GUSHES about it on Instagram. They got friggin’ ENGAGED at the very tail end of 2017, so I’m including them on this list. I’m primed and ready for many pictures of their goofy smiles in years to come.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BbQP0VygM6g/?utm_source=ig_embed
Kristen Stewart & Whatsherface
Kristen Stewart is perhaps the most important jewel in the Vapid Fluff universe. Not a day goes by that I don’t search the wild internet for freshly harvested pictures of her walking grumpily around Los Feliz with a latte. Can you believe she spent nearly two years dating international supermodel Stella Maxwell and I still wouldn’t recognize that girl if I tripped over her on the street????
Anyway, over the last week and a half, Kristen’s been spotted walking dogs and picking up to-go juices with a Los Angeles-based stylist named Sara Dinkin, so I guess that’s her girlfriend now! Whoever Kristen Stewart is dating, it will always be news. I hope these two eat so many salads together, in front of so many photographers!!!
Oh cool, juice! I LOVE juice!!!!!
Janelle Monáe + Tessa Thompson
Are they or aren’t they? Were they or weren’t they? Would they tell us if they were? Or if they weren’t? Or if they had been? At this point it honestly doesn’t matter if these two were best friends or a couple. Their alleged romantic dalliances captivated us all year long and we covered them exhaustively.
Janelle officially came out! Tessa officially came out! This year Janelle blessed us with the “Make Me Feel” video, captivating audiences and contributing to the popularity of bisexual lighting. Just when we thought things couldn’t get any gayer, the “Pynk” video happened to us and taught us how two very good friends can enjoy each other’s company while wearing vagina pants.
Even if they’ve broken up, or even if they were never actually together to begin with (they SO were), Tessa Thompson and Janelle Monáe reign supreme as Most Important Gal Pals of 2018.
It’s so nice you ladies are such good friends!!!!!
Tessa, play us off with that song Janelle wrote for you that one time.
“Queen Sugar” Ends Another Season of Not Remembering Nova Bordelon’s Bisexuality
by carmen & natalie
Last night, Ava Duvernay’s critically acclaimed drama Queen Sugar concluded its third season. Drawn from the best selling novel by Natalie Baszile, Queen Sugar is the story of the Bordelon family, forced to reunite after the loss of their patriarch. At the heart of the show are the three Bordelon siblings: Nova, Ralph Angel and Charley, each of whom – three seasons in – remain haunted by the ghosts of their pasts. The show is imbued with all the splendor that Southeast Louisiana has to offer, thanks to the work of an all-female team of writers and directors, including queer talent like Tina Mabry, Cheryl Dunye, Aurora Guerrero, and Amanda Marasalis. Nova Bordelon, played by out actress Rutina Wesley, is a pansexual black writer, making the transition from telling other people’s stories to telling her own.
On screen, Nova’s queer sexuality was a celebrated part of Queen Sugar’s early run, but more recently, the show has allowed Nova’s sexuality to recede from public view. Something that once made Nova feel free now barely earns a mention, much to our frustration. To mark the end of its third season, Carmen and Natalie got together to hash out the show’s recent direction and the realities of bi/pan erasure for black women characters on television.
Carmen: When I first wrote about Queen Sugar for Autostraddle, I called it a black feminist masterpiece. That declaration felt right at the time, you know? In 2016, the year of Beyoncé’s Lemonade, black southern womanhood was at the forefront of pop culture discussions about blackness and feminism. Right on time, here came Ava DuVernay with Queen Sugar! An Academy Award-nominated black woman director, taking her first large scale tv project to a cable network that’s owned by a black woman (Oprah’s OWN), and then centering her show around a Southern black family. All done breathtakingly, I might add.
Natalie: Do you think there’s been a shift since then? Has our expectation for stories about black women changed since then?
Carmen: Well what do you think? Here’s a big ass question: Where is black feminism on television in the year of our Lorde Beyoncé 2018? We lost Scandal this year. I suppose that’s one part of the landscape.
Natalie: Good question! I’d point to How To Get Away with Murder, Insecure…
Carmen: Do those show impact our critique of Queen Sugar? For me, a place where all three connect is the lack of clear representation for black queer women – and my increasing frustration towards shows that talk about black women’s lived experiences without taking black queer women into account.
Insecure is its own animal, obviously, because it doesn’t have a queer female character on its roster at all. That remains one of my biggest critiques of the show. It strains credulity that a crew of four millennial black women – in 2018 – in LA!!! – have no queer girl friends among them, even as acquaintances. They’re adding a bisexual black male character this year, so that’s something at very least. Still, it’s my major point of contention.
Natalie: Right. Especially after they had that terrible storyline in the first season, where Molly broke-up with a great guy because he’d sexually experimented with another guy back in college.
Carmen: I still haven’t forgiven Issa Rae for that move! It was a low blow.
Natalie: Would you put How To Get Away With Murder in the same category of disappointment as Queen Sugar? I’m not sure. To do that, I’d want to define what qualifies as queer erasure vs. what just represents the experience of a bisexual or pansexual woman.
Carmen: Yes, let’s go there! How to Get Away with Murder (HTGAWM) is one of your central shows, so I’ll let you take the lead.
Natalie:: First, let’s be clear about one thing: neither HTGAWM nor Queen Sugar are engaging in queer erasure solely because Annalise or Nova haven’t had relationships with women since Eve (Annalise’s ex) and Chantal (Nova’s ex). There’s nothing about either of those pansexual characters dating men – even trifling men like Remy – that qualifies as erasure.
But, looking back to Queen Sugar’s second season, when Nova doesn’t acknowledge her sexuality to Dr. DuBois, her then-boyfriend, even while Chantal’s standing right there in front of them — literally, right there in front of them — that is erasure. When Nova is single and she’s out in the community and she doesn’t ever even glance in the direction of another woman, that’s erasure. When her family pre-genders her new relationship, despite the fact that they know she’s queer, that’s erasure.
In Season One, Nova’s being coy about who she’s dating and Charley asks directly, “is it a boy or a girl?” By Season Four, it’s tossed out as some flippant aside. Bisexual, pansexual – it’s never mentioned. If you just started watching Queen Sugar in Season Two, it’s entirely probable that you’d believe that Nova Bordelon is a straight woman. They’ve erased her identity.
HTGAWM has its moments of erasure too, but nothing nearly as egregious. Queen Sugar is a show rooted in relationships, both familial and romantic, in a way that HTGAWM is not.
Carmen: Whew! Girl, you ain’t said nothin’ but a word!
This is another point for an entirely separate article, but HTGAWM hasn’t done as well a job of dealing with Annalise’s queer sexuality as I would like them to, especially when Eve isn’t around to remind the audience directly. There’s serious room for improvement in both shows. You’re right; Queen Sugar’ driving focus is the intimacy of relationships. That makes their lack of exploration of Nova’s established sexuality pungently blatant. Let’s revisit the show’s glory days. What first pulled you in about Nova?
Natalie: It was the fact that she was queer… and intentionally so. Actually, now that I think about it, that’s a good encapsulation of how the show has changed. Nova wasn’t a character from Natalie Baszile’s book, she came directly from Ava DuVernay’s imagination. She was designed to be a reflection of the leaders of the Black Lives Matter (BLM) movement: black queer women. It was a subtle allusion to the movement that anyone familiar with its roots could know and appreciate. Generally speaking, the show’s has since stopped being so subtle.
Carmen: That’s an excellent point! I also definitely read Nova as a tribute to the queer women at the roots of BLM. Taking it even further, I found her to be a tribute to the queer black women I knew in my life – so many of us are activists, we’re at the roots of our community and our community’s movements. We have been for generations. Nova really exemplified that. She was a queer black woman who primarily lived and loved and worked for black liberation.
It mattered to me that she wasn’t a queer black woman in white spaces. That set her apart from basically almost every other queer woman of color on television (save Survivor’s Remorse’s M-Chuck or Black Lightning’s Anissa Pierce, who came after Nova). I found that infinitely relatable.
So, what went wrong? And when? I think it started in Season Two.
Natalie: Oh yes, it did! On some level I get what they were going for, right? Nova had this relationship with her father that wasn’t fully authentic, so she’s spent the last two seasons really trying to make amends. I get that. I think the not-so-good doctor from last season (Dr. DuBois) was about her embracing the sort of man that her father would’ve been happy to see her with. Then this season, with Remy (her sister’s ex-boyfriend), she’s embracing a guy who’s like Ernest’s long lost son. She is clearly still trying to win her father’s favor and, unsurprisingly, it’s not working. How do you see her relationships?
Carmen: I’ve found Nova’s romances to be all over the place! It’s hard to make sense of them. You found a solid through line with “Nova working through her relationship with her father.” If we follow along with that pattern, then we have to grapple with Nova’s other past love interests, Calvin and Chantal.
Natalie: I feel like show’s made it clear that Ernest knew about Nova’s sexuality and that he wasn’t comfortable with it. Maybe I’m giving Queen Sugar more credit than it deserves. Nova tells Remy this season that she doesn’t want to be judged – that she just wants to be free – both those things can’t be true.
Carmen: Well, “freedom” is an ongoing theme for Nova, tracing all the way back to Season One. She told Chantal that she felt “free” the morning after they first had sex.
Natalie: That’s another reason I really hated this relationship with Remy! If Nova is truly chasing “freedom,” she had it and (more importantly) she KNEW she had it with Chantal. It’s these kind of missed moments of continuity that make me wonder if Queen Sugar’s rotation of writers and directors and, subsequently, showrunners, are impacting the characterizations we’re seeing on screen.
Carmen: Looking back at this summer, what could Queen Sugar have done differently to be more successful in terms of representation? What would it have looked like for Nova’s sexuality to remain centrally tied to her and the show? Are there ways they could have accomplished that without Nova necessarily dating a woman? I don’t think dating is the only way sexuality is expressed.
Natalie: The simplest thing to do, of course, is just to say the words a loud, right? For Nova to acknowledge her sexuality out loud to Remy or for Aunt Vi to acknowledge out front that Nova’s mysterious partner could be a man or a woman.
This season we got to see Nova take a step forward with her writing career, including centering herself and her family history in her work. That requires a lot of emotional excavation and it would’ve been nice to see Nova vocalize that process with her circle of friends or even with a therapist. Surely, because Nova’s been grappling with her daddy issues for two seasons now and part of the tension between Nova and her father was about her sexuality, it would’ve been part of those conversations. That would’ve been a simple way to affirm Nova’s identity and move the storyline about her book forward.
Carmen: I’d like to see if Nova has any queer friends! Her circle thus far has been demonstratively straight. And here’s another idea! Given how community oriented Nova is, what about having her mentor a young queer girl?
Natalie: Oh, how great would it have been for the new girl in Micah’s friend group to have been queer?
Carmen: YES!! She was exactly who I imagined when I was hypothesizing this theory.
Natalie: My dream has always been to have Ralph Angel and Nova fall for the same woman. Then they could really have it out with each other, in part about the woman, but also it would allow the show to better explore their relationship as siblings and their history.
Carmen: That would be a new take on a love triangle for sure! Though I prefer if none of the Bordelon siblings get involved with each other’s significant others for all of the known future. (That said, GIVE NOVA A GIRLFRIEND 2k19!!) Anyway.
Natalie: Hahaha. Agreed. Ava, hire us! We can help! I accept payment in the form of cash, check, or dates with Bianca Lawson.
Carmen: Here’s the real question that I can’t stop circling in my head: Should we even still be following Queen Sugar so closely? Given that Nova had… one girlfriend… for a handful of episodes… THREE full years ago.
Natalie: Probably not.
Carmen: Is there still value in including Queen Sugar in conversations around queer television? Are we, as LGBTQ+ black women viewers and critics, still finding our needs met in the conversations put forth by this show?
Natalie: On an emotional level, I want to say, yes, right? First, Rutina Wesley is important, as a queer black woman in real life. It’s rare that we see a black queer character on television but a black queer character played by a black queer actress? That’s unheard of.
Carmen: Yes! Absolutely.
Natalie: Second, Bianca Lawson is someone who I still value (team EMAYA forever). She’s an actress who I think is capable of great things, some of which we’ve seen on this show. However, when grappling with the actual substantive work put forward by the show? This year in particular? No, our needs aren’t being met. Also, it has to be said, the storytelling has been predictable and not nearly as engaging as it used to be. Still, I think you engage with the work and have conversations about it, in part to celebrate representation, but also to critique it. I think Ava DuVernay’s someone who can listen, learn and get better.
Carmen: Ava DuVernay won a GLAAD award this year. As much as I admire her as a filmmaker, which I absolutely do, and as much as I respect her as a mentor – seriously, we have Ava to thank for giving Lena Waithe one of her first big Hollywood gigs as a Production Assistant – I found myself frustrated by her win, in large part because of Nova’s ongoing erasure on Queen Sugar.
We opened our discussion with you asking me “What in the TV landscape has changed your expectations as a viewer?” My first answer is that black television is still lagging behind where I want us to be in terms LGBTQ+ representation, particularly for black women. At the same time, in the last year there is so much great representation for queer women of color on television. Three seasons ago, I fell in love with Nova Bordelon hard and fast. It breaks my heart that now I can’t include her in that wave. There were times this summer that I had to actually force myself to watch the show, just to keep up with my work commitments here at Autostraddle. I’ve become disenchanted. It’s hard to invest my energy into programing that’s made it so abundantly clear they are not interested in investing back in me. That burn is even greater for a show like Queen Sugar, which began its run with a brazen queer character like Nova Bordelon.
The truth is that I can’t turn my back on Queen Sugar, because there are so paltry few options to begin with. And because I love it so much, despite myself. Which is why it has to do better.
26 Celebrity Gal Pals Who Made Us Swoon In 2017
Click for more 2017 End of the Year Lists
Is love a lie? PROBABLY, but these couples charmed the heck out of us this year anyway.
Abby Wambach and Glennon Doyle
The seemingly unlikely pairing of retired soccer star Wambach and noted Christian mommy blogger Glennon Doyle captured our imagination almost immediately. They tied the knot in May, but remained super cute and charmingly supportive of one another all year long.
Ellen Page and Emma Portner
https://www.instagram.com/p/BYeHFuphGH0/?taken-by=ellenpage
Anyone following Ellen Page on social media can tell that she’s obviously got it bad for this adorable dancer. For obvious reasons, my favorite kind of relationship is one that results in copious Instagram collaborations.
Kehlani and Shaina Negron
This has been a huge year for Kehlani, and it’s been particularly refreshing watching her open up in interviews about her sexuality – positive bisexual representation is still all too rare in the current media climate. Kehlani was particularly candid about her relationship with tattoo artist/painter Shania Negron and posted a lot of cute photos of the pair together. As of this writing, they seem to have deleted a lot of social media postings including one another and I’m not 100% sure if they’re still together, but I am including them here because they look(ed?) so damn incredible together.
Maisie Richardson-Sellers and Clay
https://www.instagram.com/p/Bc0pzO-nZ5B/
Get you someone who looks at you the way these two BEAM at each other.
Sue Bird and Megan Rapinoe
But did she spill a drink all over her shirt or what?
I will be the first one to tell you I don’t know a lot about sports people, but this year basketball superstar Sue Bird not only came out as gay, she also announced her relationship with soccer champ Megan Rapinoe. I imagine that they spend a lot of time gazing into one another’s eyes while doing hundreds upon hundreds of jumping jacks.
Cameron Esposito and Rhea Butcher
https://www.instagram.com/p/BcKqHBPDp1b/?taken-by=cameronesposito
Perhaps you read Heather Hogan’s thoughtful profile of these two on this very website, or you fell in love with them through their excellent show Take My Wife, or maybe you went to see these two hilarious weirdos on their Back to Back comedy tour! Somehow, despite working together pretty much all the time (my personal relationship nightmare), Cameron and Rhea have emerged from 2017 with a #1 comedy album, excellent haircuts and an adorable social media presence.
Rutina Wesley and Chef Shonda
In the year of our lord 2017 I watched True Blood for the first time and was aghast at all of my friends who spent years telling me to watch this horrible show. Does Tara ever get a fucking break? She does, apparently, because Rutina Wesley came out in possibly the gayest Instagram post of all time – also announcing her engagement!
Gigi Gorgeous and Nats Getty
Riese’s favorite couple of 2017™ have been so adorable lately that news that they were around a baby once threw the internet into an uproar. They did not have a baby together this year but they did take this cute-ass photo on a boat.
Gaby Dunn and Ellen Ford
https://www.instagram.com/p/BY1mkREg4t7/?taken-by=gabyroad
I asked Gaby Dunn if she would like to make a statement about being in an article about the best celebrity couples of 2017 and she offered, “just that I am blessed and everyone should get a soft butch.” She would also like to let you know about Ellen’s Instagram account, where you can look at more pictures of her.
Kristen Stewart and Stella Maxwell
These two creeps have been stalking and glaring around Los Feliz for the better part of 2017 and even went as far as to adopt a (very cute) dog together. I may or may not have made a Google map detailing all the places they have been spotted purchasing green juice, and may or may not have dragged NSFW Editor Carolyn to almost all of those places on my last visit. This was also a notable year for Kristen because she gave us the following gift:
Janelle Monáe and Tessa Thompson
Listen, there’s no ACTUAL proof these two are actually dating but there’s also no proof these two aren’t dating and I believe that if you will something hard enough, you can actually manifest it with your brain. I have high hopes for these two UNCONFIRMED LOVEBIRDS in 2018 (and if for some reason it doesn’t work out, Janelle, Mara Wilson would like for you to call her).
For a thorough glimpse into all the extremely telling evidence that Janelle and Tessa are together, please enjoy this Twitter thread:
ok so it was not an awards show, it was the 2015 MOCA gala, but they a. went as dates and b. wore COMPLIMENTARY OUTFITS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pic.twitter.com/9MRY9rwBkQ
— jaye (@hayejunt) October 9, 2017
Sarah Paulson and Holland Taylor
Every year forever. No question.
Samira Wiley and Lauren Morelli
These two nerds look deliriously happy around each other 100% of the time to the point where it’s actually rude. This was a depressing year on almost every level, but then Lauren and Samira shocked us all with their goddamn Funfetti-themed wedding and somehow, it gave us hope that everything just might turn out OK after all.
Excuse Me, Did True Blood’s Rutina Wesley Just Come Out By Announcing Her Gay Engagement On Instagram?
Exactly one day ago, Queen Sugar/True Blood star Rutina Wesley posted what seemed like a pretty normal and not-at-all gay quote on Instagram. “Overthinking is our biggest cause of unhappiness,” the quote proclaimed, “Keep yourself occupied. Keep your mind off things that don’t help you. Think positive.” Not bad advice. Okay, but it wasn’t just a quote. It was a photo gallery. Rutina and a pal having a nice meal. Rutina and a pal posing for a selfie. Rutina smooching her … gal(?) pal on the cheek. A diamond ring on her engagement ring finger. Hashtags:
#StillRingsTrue
#AlwaysMORENeverLESSISaidYES
#SheFeedsMySOUL
#IWasLookingAtHERAndFoundMyJOY
#ImHavingAPrivateParty
#LoveOfMyLIFEYouAreMyFriend
#AllIHadToDoWasTurnAround
@chef_shonda #ILoveYouMoreThanWORDS
Exhibit A (not gay)
Exhibit B (pretty gay)
Exhibit C paired with Exhibit B paired with #AlwaysMORENeverLESSISaidYES (gay)
Go ahead, scroll through her Instagram gallery yourself; I’ll wait.
Rutina Wesley just came out by announcing her engagement to a woman on Instagram. Right? Y’all, right? Rutina and Chef Shonda, congratulations! Autostraddle wishes you all the happiness in this world!