Flashback: Warm Nights, Almost Left Behind, Suitcases of Memories…
it’s like RSAD (Reverse-Seasonal Affective Disorder, my other disease)
BUT WITH MORE YEARNING.symptoms:
–totally forgetting that the world is, in fact, not entirely composed of homosexuals [and also straight people who are totally prepared for the fact that you’ll think they’re gay until they show you otherwise, like by standing around in the breakfast line gabbing like it’s fucking Mahh-Jong day at the Miami Beach retirement home while you’re trying to make a beeline for the fresh canned pears, not that this actually happened to me or anything, but I think they were on the wrong ship or else had a lesbian daughter with irresistible grandchildren). Continually assuming that everyone who walks past you is a homosexual and thinks you too are a homosexual. Feeling somehow wronged by that.
–complete inability to prepare meals or clean up the results of the take-out you inevitably resorted to eating. persistent delusions that a meal awaits you on the second floor of your apartment building, followed by delusion that your dishes will be removed by a smiling Indonesian man in a navy blue suit.
–attempting to open your apartment door with a plastic card emblazoned with the image of a cruise ship.
–walking on water, like Jesus, but without the water or the holy-ness.
–total confusion as to why everything is so dirty and no one is folding your towels or slipping a newsletter with tomorrow’s fun activities under the door.
–forgetting that you have a cell-phone, cash, a computer, or a job.
Rosie’s Cruise: My Week in Fantasyland
Yeah, that’s right.
2007 RFamily Vacations Gay Cruise Blog, Part #1
7.10.07: I am currently in Key West, the hottest place on the entire planet. I mean that literally, I could fry an egg on my head right now. Three drag queens just dragged [get it? drag queens? DRAGGED?] Haviland into a karaoke bar [circa 4 P.M., mind you] and made her sing “Like a Prayer” because she’s FROM BROADWAY: Haviland LOVES karaoke. Almost as much as she loves chocolate ice cream and naked men, and almost as much as I love heat.