“RuPaul’s Drag Race” Episode 1604: Sadder Gay Night Live

Live from New York it’s… me writing a recap of that awful episode of Drag Race. But there’s something kind of refreshing about an episode of Drag Race being bad because of the performances and outcomes and not because anything morally reprehensible occurred. Small blessings.

But first! In the aftermath of last week, Geneva is still convinced she shouldn’t have been in the bottom. She says if the other queens want to play the game, she can play the game too. By “the game” does she mean “doing good drag” because she really should’ve started that in episode one. I kid, I kid. But I do think it’s a bad sign for a queen’s ability to improve if they’re delusional about weeks they do poorly. The first step to getting better is being able to take critique!

It’s a new day in the workroom and the queens are doing a sketch comedy challenge called RDR Live that’s a riff on SNL. As a kid of read all 800 pages of Live from New York: The Complete Uncensored History of Saturday Night Live experience, I feel it is my right to say that even during its best years, SNL is a show that is not funny more frequently than it’s funny. But the Drag Race comedy challenges make The Californians look like Wayne’s World. Making a comedy challenge based on SNL? Let’s just say I’m having a good time… not.

There’s some drama as the queens cast their roles. Sapphira and Mirage both want to host. Sapphira lets Mirage take the part and Mirage quickly regrets it. And then Plasma and Dawn both want to do Weekend Update. Dawn, Amanda, and Q have formed a little clique and want to do that sketch together. Dawn, fairly, points out that the other available role is a Barbra Streisand impression. Clique or no clique, of course Plasma should do Streisand! Plasma is upset that she “can’t sit at the lunch table” and I am begging adult queers to understand we are not in high school anymore, we’re all faggots who were bullied, and you’re not always the victim.

Anyway, the roles are cast and Ru and Ross come around to talk to the queens. Xunami, Morphine, Geneva, and Mhi’ya admit they’ve never done sketch before. They talk to Mhi’ya about needing to open up, desperately trying to craft and arc that may or may not arrive.

As the queens get ready for the sketches and runway, Mirage talks about being Apache and performing at Indigenous Pride. Xunami and Geneva then bond over being Dreamers as they talk about DACA. On the other side of the workroom, Dawn is asking about OnlyFans and Amanda says that her day job is ghost writing messages for straight girl creators.

Sarah Michelle Gellar is the guest judge!! The writers — likely the same ones responsible for the sketches soon to come — have Sarah say, “I’ve been slaying bitches for years.” Um… “I’ve been slaying for years” was RIGHT THERE.

The first sketch is about the world ending and has Geneva playing Lindsay Graham even though she clearly did not know — and failed to ask — who he is. Mirage is hosting and stumbles over her words. Then Jane and Megami do a sketch about selling decks filled with dick jokes and it’s at least slightly less awful. Then Ru is the musical guest singing a song where she says “giddy up” a lot. Amanda and Dawn host weekend update with a series of painful “jokes” and Q on as “the brick from Stonewall” in a performance I would describe as… adequate. Finally, Nymphia, Sapphira, and Plasma are three members of a Barbra Shop Quartet which has no jokes other than that pun. Plasma, does in fact, shine — relatively — in this role.

The runway is Everything Every Cher All the Time and it is a RELIEF after those “comedy” performances. I am so horny for Morphine in Cher’s 1989 Academy Award look. Nymphia as Egyptian Goddess Cher and Sapphira as 2017 Vegas Residency Cher are both stunning as well.

The tops are Jane, Q, and Plasma. The bottoms are Mhi’ya, Geneva, and Mirage. They make Sarah Michelle Gellar lie and pretend like any of the performances were good. Mhi’ya does a bad Cher impression that makes Ru laugh and maybe factored into her being safe.

Plasma wins, because her performance was the best and because they’re trying to Jan Q. Mhi’ya is indeed safe which means Geneva and Mirage are lip-syncing to the Buffy theme. Mirage wishes. No, they’re lip syncing to “Dark Lady” by Cher which has a lot of words and Mirage knows none of them.

It sucks because Mirage is a good dancer and is still more fun to watch than Geneva even if there is no sync to her lips. But I understand they couldn’t let Mirage stay when she didn’t know any of the words. Personally, I think it should have been a double elimination.

Mirage is distraught and can’t even bring herself to say an exit line. All the other queens are crying too. It’s awful. Almost as awful as those comedy sketches.

Teleport Us to Mars!! Here Are Some Random Thoughts:

+ They may be friends, but I love that as Q was painting herself to look like a literal brick, she said she was painting herself to be Amanda.

+ I maintain that RuPaul Charles has earned the right to do her little musical numbers whenever she would like.

+ During Untucked, Mirage chugs a drink and then tells a bunch of people she doesn’t know the words to the song. I wonder if that’s why Ru and the producers had her perform. Because, sure, she wasn’t good, but nobody was… and her runway was way better than Mhi’ya’s.

+ Queen I’m rooting for: Morphine, Sapphira, Nymphia

+ Queen I’m horniest for: Morphine

+ Queen I want to go home: Geneva

Boobs on Your Tube: In Its Final Season, “La Brea” Finally Gives Us a Queer Couple Worth Rooting For

It’s the end of another week, here’s what happend on your screens: First off, Valerie promises that Hazbin Hotel is a musical extravaganza about a bubbly queer princess of hell (which is quite the descriptor!!), don’t miss her review and she also has more details for you below. We also interviewed Hazbin Hotel showrunner Vivienne Medrano (aka VivziePop) on her favorite musical and giving people second chances! Hell princesses for everybody! The latest episode of Drag Race had some mommy issues.  Meanwhile, on a different reality show, The Traitors had a killer move.

Love on the Spectrum failed to give its queer woman the dates she deserved. The Hot Lesbian on “LOL: Last One Laughing Ireland” absolutely should have won! And Hightown unfortunately fails to fulfill its potential in its final season. This week in our anatomy of a queer scene series, Drew and Kayla revisisted a classic: The Sex in Bound Changed Our Lives (and did!!). We updated the 60 best queer and lesbian Netflix TV Shows. And did you happen to miss this year’s Oscars nominations? Don’t worry, Drew has you all set.

Don’t miss Autostraddle’s Sundance coverage!

Drew has also been spending the week covering the best in queer film from the Sundance Film Festival, so please catch up! In particular, you don’t want to miss her review of In the Summers  — which just won the grand jury prize!! A huge deal.

Notes from the TV Team: 

+ I haven’t updated on Raising Kanan in a couple of weeks, but just know that I still have my eye on Jukebox and Iesha. Last week Kanan took Iesha on a date and acted like a total ass, and when Juke got word of it she promptly showed up to whoop some sense into him (metaphorically, of course). There’s some underlying tensions brewing between the cousins anyway, ever since Kanan has fallen deeper into the drug game. Making matters more sticky, Juke’s father, who is right now her biggest advocate, is a #1 suspect in a crime ring by the feds. And to top it all off, the U.S. military recruitment process is still swooping around Juke like a bad habit that I wish she’d quit. I’m still feeling optimistic that it’s darkest before the dawn, but that’s where we are for now!  — Carmen

+ No Alice or Malika on this week’s episode of Good Trouble but I wanted to take a moment to acknowledge that this week’s episode was directed by Mariana Adams Foster herself, AKA Cierra Ramirez. It’s her first time behind the camera and follows in the footsteps of her TV mom, Sherri Saum, who directed episode #512. — Natalie

La Brea Episode 303: “Maya”

Written by Valerie Anne

This would have been a very cute first kiss and I’m sad they balked!!!

In its third and final season, La Brea is finally giving us a queer couple worth rooting for. (Sorry to the singular queer woman who was briefly on screen and had a dead wife.)

In last week’s episode, when Izzy and Leyla first met, they immediately butted heads, so obviously I immediately started shipping them. Leyla’s mother forced her to give Izzy bow and arrow lessons, and I rubbed my hands together maniacally, excited for the enemies-to-lover storyline to commence. And it happened even faster than I anticipated! This week, they start flirting while going out on a boar hunt, and then Leyla falls into a tar pit. While Izzy tries to find a way to get her out, they bond about feeling like outsiders and being underestimated. When Izzy finally gets her out, they get attacked by a boar, but they take it down together, and almost hug until they realize Leyla is still covered in tar. Instead they smile shyly at each other and Izzy wipes a little tar off Leyla’s chin.

Later that night, Leyla finds Izzy by the fire and thanks her again for caring about her. She asks if she’s right, that Izzy cares about her, and Izzy beams and confirms that she does, indeed. Izzy takes Leyla’s hand and they almost kiss but they’re interrupted so they decide against having their first kiss out in the middle of the chaos of camp but keep holding hands and smiling at each other. It’s very cute and it will definitely ease the brain-ache the time travel in this season causes me.

Hazbin Hotel Episode 105 & 106: “Dad Beat Dad” & “Welcome to Heaven”

Written by Valerie Anne

There are also so many adorable moments where they cut to Vaggie and she’s just beaming at Charlie. TOO CUTE.

Two more episodes of the adorable Hazbin Hotel dropped, and they are just as deliciously gay and fun as the first four.

Vaggie wakes up to see Charlie missing from her side of the bed, and goes to the lounge to find her with a murderboard trying to figure out why the hotel hasn’t worked yet. Vaggie suggests asking Charlie’s dad for help and Charlie is resistant at first, but when she realizes her dad could get her a meeting in Heaven with someone other than Adam the Asshole she calls Lucifer, who is voiced by Jeremy Jordan.

Charlie works up the nerve to ask him for a favor, Vaggie close by her side and holding her hand the whole time. Lucifer comes to the hotel and Charlie introduces her to Vaggie as her girlfriend. Lucifer has the most dad reaction ever; “You like girls, we have so much in common!” He hugs Vaggie and laughs nervously saying she’s so pretty. After a little song-fight with the Radio Demon and some bonding with Charlie, Lucifer agrees to get them the meeting in Heaven. Charlie tells Vaggie they’re going to Heaven and Vaggie is a little stressed about the plurality of Charlie’s statement.

The next morning (and the next episode), Vaggie tries to get out of the trip but she can’t lie to Charlie. Charlie says, “You’re my partner, I need you there with me,” so Vaggie agrees.

Is “Bubblegum Princess Melts Ice Queen” a trope because if it is it’s one of my favorites.

They head up to St. Peter (Darren Criss). He welcomes them to Heaven and introduces them to Sera (Patina Miller) and Emily (Shoba Narayan), the Seraphim angels. Charlie is hype about heaven and wants to explore, but Vaggie stays back in their hotel room. While she’s alone, Adam and his sidekick Lute show up and reveal that Vaggie was once an Angel Warrior. Which, if I may toot my own horn, I called early on. I noticed no one else had the same X over one eye besides Angel Warriors, and I’m very happy to be proven right. Though it turns out the X over the eye is part of an Angel Warrior mask that they wear, and when Vaggie was caught letting a scared little demon go, her fellow angels took her mask, plucked out her eye, and left her for dead. That’s when Charlie found her and took care of her and they fell in love.

Adam tries to blackmail Vaggie into helping him, and she refuses, so he leaves her with the threat that if she doesn’t, he’ll tell Charlie the truth.

Everyone meets up at the trial where they are going to decide if a soul can be redeemed and move from Hell to Heaven. They watch Angel Dust being a good person, and seeming to meet all the criteria of heaven, but also he didn’t get poofed up to Heaven, so everyone is confused. That’s when Charlie realizes no one in Heaven actually knows what it takes to get into Heaven. Charlie and Emily start to plead with Sera but then Adam brags about the Extermination. Emily is horrified, and to distract the blame from himself, Adam outs Vaggie as an ex-angel warrior. Charlie falls to her knees and Vaggie runs to her side.

Sera puts an end to the chaos by declaring that souls can’t be redeemed and sending Charlie and Vaggie back to Hell, Adam shouting a threat after them that the Hazbin Hotel will be his first stop in the next Extermination. Emily calls after them to not give up hope but once the portal closes, Sera warns Emily that if she pushes this too far, she’ll end up fallen, too.

Death and Other Details Episode 103: “Troublesome”

Written by Valerie Anne

Anna was so busy in this episode, it made ME tired.

This week on the murder mystery boat, Leila tells Anna she’s going to the pool and Anna offers to meet her later, but she has business to attend to first. When Leila is gone, she confesses that she lost six more pillows to a listening device sweep that morning. But Anna can’t focus on her wife’s paranoia right now, she needs this deal with the Chuns to go down or she’s going to lose her business before she even officially inherits it. After a little round of bossing people around, she goes to find her wife at the pool, but her ex Eleanor is there and says she hasn’t seen Leila all day. (Also she’s hooked up to the B12 IV that we’ve seen the governor get…the governor who is now coughing, separate of her allergic-to-her-tryst sneezing…) Before she runs off after Anna again, Eleanor asks her why she didn’t wait for her, all those years ago. Anna is appalled; she tried to wait, she would have done anything for Eleanor, but she left. Eleanor says “I’m here now” but Anna points out she has terrible timing and goes off to find her wife.

When Leila isn’t in her room, she goes to ask her mom if she’s seen her, and instead gets an eyeful of her mother and Father Toby having shower sex. Mom insists Anna can keep a secret, but the pastor is a little shaken.

Anna’s next stop is her dad, who she tells to stay quiet in the meeting because she’s the only adult in the family and also she’s willing to sell her soul to save her company. She ends up going to the Chun meeting alone.

While looking for clues, Imogen spots Leila swipe a knife so she decides to follow her. She watches discreetly as Leila swipes rope, duct tape, and another knife before seeming to disappear down a dead end. She pokes around a bit (literally) and finds a secret door. She goes down into the bowels of the ship..where Jules appears and presses his hand over Imogen’s mouth. At this same time we learn that Jules isn’t who he seems to be, so our heroine might be in some deep…ship.

The Traitors 205 Recap: A Killer Move

The fifth episode of The Traitors season two picks up in the turret, where we last saw Phaedra getting really mad at Parvati for implicating the Housewives, broadly. After Parvati confirms she was only trying to get out Larsa (which she did!) and apologizes for implicating Phaedra in any way, Phaedra seems to forgive her. Dan, again, is there! (I’m starting to think this is his strategy, actually, to outwardly be so passive.)

Parvati offers the choice of murder to Phaedra, since she picked their last victim (Ekin-Su). Phaedra settles on Tamra Judge — a choice that suggests she really has buried the hatchet with Parvati, since Tamra is herself a Housewife. It also really protects Phaedra, because she has just shown her loyalty to the Housewives — if a Housewife is then murdered, the Traitor couldn’t be Phaedra!

The next morning, when everyone walks into breakfast except for Tamra, it causes chaos, as always. Alan Cumming gravely retorts, “A real Housewife lost her real house life,” which makes me remember just how great of a host he is. I love these odd, dramatic one-liners he delivers with such aplomb every dang time. Alan Cumming also reveals someone new will be joining today. Who will it be!!

At breakfast, CT is extremely suspicious of Dan, who has essentially refused to ever state a suspicion of a single person being a traitor. CT is pushing him really hard to make one single guess, and Dan, adhering to what I have to believe is his strategy, continues to refuse. He’s sort of a brick wall, revealing literally no information. (Sometimes when I play the game One Night Ultimate Werewolf, there are people whose strategy is to simply not talk. Sometimes it makes them look suspicious, but most of the time, you simply stop engaging with them, because if you can’t get any information from them, you worry you’re wasting your time. I think Dan is approximating this strategy.) It seems the tides are turning against Dan, and I don’t know if this is admirable or silly, but he seems to do anything but panic! For me, it’s a little infuriating. It’s like, dude, do something!

After breakfast, it’s clear the tides are turning against Dan, as many others are suspicious of him (Janelle, Trishelle, Bergie). Only Kevin is absolutely convinced that Janelle is a traitor.

This episode’s challenge involves the team splitting up, one competing outside (with access to winning the two shields in play) and one competing inside (with no access to the shields in play). After some back-and-forth about the teams, determined mostly by which players are insisting that they get a chance to win the shields, the challenge begins. It’s actually a very funny challenge involving all of them running around and imitating bird calls. Tonally, it feels very different from the funeral march last episode, and for me, it’s a welcome reprieve, if a bit boring.

Trishelle and Bergie win the shields, and Peter comes up with an actually interesting and strategic idea: If Trishelle and Bergie don’t reveal they won the shields, every person on the outdoors team can be protected. Peter reasons that if the Traitors don’t know who of their six has the shields, they won’t want to target any, because they won’t want to waste a vote. As far as I know, Peter is from The Bachelor, and I was impressed to see him ratchet up the game play by employing a pretty nuanced strategy. If he can pull it off, that is.

Back in the house, after the challenge, Peter intensifies his strategy by telling Dan, privately, that he and Janelle won the shields. Peter tells Parvati, also privately, the same thing, thinking that if either of them are the Traitors, (1) this might protect him and Janelle from getting murdered and (2) best case scenario, they believe him, and choose to murder Bergie/Janelle, who actually has the shield, effectively wasting a murder, and revealing themselves as Traitors. Sneaky sneaky, Peter! I love it.

Janelle is still really gunning for Dan. Once again, the best thing Dan seems to come up with is going to Parvati and getting her to handle it for him. Generously, maybe this is his strategy. Parvati reasons that if Janelle is coming for Dan this hard, they’ve got to get Janelle out, to protect Dan. This isn’t the first time I begin to wonder if Dan would protect Parvati like she is seemingly willing to protect him. Despite being labeled so often as a villain, I don’t think Parvati plays dirty; she decides who’s on her team and who isn’t and cleaves to those boundaries. It seems Parvati sees both Dan and Phaedra as her team, at least for now. Dan, on the other hand, seems to be a team of one, and I worry how this could affect both Parvati and Phaedra moving forward….

Inexplicably at this point, we learn who the new player is going to be, and it’s the iconic Kate Chastain, a fan favorite from season one of The Traitors and a whole lotta seasons of Below Deck!! I’m excited to see how she shakes things up; you can always count on Kate to say exactly what she’s thinking, and that’s always a rollercoaster to watch. Alan Cumming, wearing a shirt seemingly made only of feathers (love), brings another chair to the roundtable, and in walks Kate.

Kevin steels himself and delivers a formal accusation of Janelle, which really gets under Janelle’s skin. She, in turn, says she thinks — nay, is sure — the Traitors are Dan (right!), CT (wrong!), and Sandra (what??). Her choice to accuse beyond Dan baffles me, especially considering CT and Sandra are close allies (they will rally against you), from competitive reality TV shows built on kicking people out when they show you can’t trust them. I really wish Janelle had just stuck to Dan!

Dan’s defense, unsurprisingly, is to provide no defense. I actually think I see his strategy begin to work here. It’s like, how could someone react so calmly if they really were the Traitor?? Wouldn’t they be freaking out? But that reasoning actually holds no water, for me. Because he is a Traitor, he can stay calm, because of course he can prepare for this moment, because it is a reasonable accusation, since it’s based on truth. For Faithfuls, getting accused of being a traitor is an unreasonable accusation, because it’s not based on truth, so of course it sends people into a tailspin! Peter and Janelle push Dan to say a name, any name, and he says… Janelle, again, sidestepping making any choice for himself. He aligns with the majority every single time.

When the votes come in, they’re split between Janelle and Dan. But at the end of the day, Janelle gets the majority of the vote. I can’t help but remember literally earlier in the episode, when CT was absolutely gunning for Dan! But of course, saving his own life in the game became more important than eliminating Dan — Janelle was a much more immediate threat to his continued presence on the game. In all reality competition shows, emotion plays a bigger role than I think most contestants would like to admit — but maybe in The Traitors more than anything else, because getting accused of being something you’re not is just…really emotion-inducing!!

Janelle goes home, and some of the people at the table — namely Bergie — see this as confirmation Dan is in fact a traitor. It’s hard for me to see how Dan will clear his name at the next roundtable.

Back in the turret, the Traitors discuss their next target. Parvati reveals Peter told her, in confidence, that he won a shield. Dan reveals he did the exact same with her. Parvati, in true Parvati fashion, immediately knows Peter must be lying. I stood up and cheered!! Parvati’s biggest asset has always been her extremely sharp emotional IQ; that gal simply knows when people are lying! Poor Peter has no idea who he’s dealing with! Parvati reasons that because they don’t know who has the shield, they should murder someone who wasn’t on the outside team — also because then it’ll imply to Peter that Parvati and Dan are NOT the Traitors. Seems like a great plan to me!

Dan, on the other hand, thinks Peter couldn’t be savvy enough to strategically lie (??) and believes him. Dan reasons that because Phaedra got to decide the last murder (Tamra) and Parvati the one before (Ekin-Su) (which remember, was only because no one else could execute the poison murder), he should get to decide this one. This reasoning doesn’t sit well with me, because Dan is implying both Parvati and Phaedra asked for and wanted to decide the last murder victims, which neither of them did. Two women and a man, and only one seems to feel entitled to make decisions for the group…interesting!!!

Dan seems to think the best choice (for his life in the game) is to murder Bergie — a.k.a. to fall right into Peter’s trap. Which, as Parvati realized in about one second, is indeed a trap!!! But Dan seems to believe it’s worth the risk of wasting a murder, which I find unstrategic and shortsighted, to say the least.

I’m nervous that Parvati and Phaedra choosing to go along with Dan, even though they KNOW it risks wasting a murder, could be really bad for them, ultimately. Here’s what I’m afraid of happening: They murder Bergie, and he is saved because he has the shield. This, to Peter, confirms Dan and Parvati are both traitors. Dan, to save his own life, decides to go full-throttle on…Phaedra, which would make no strategic sense, since she has arguably been playing the best game of all three of them.

But I just don’t see Dan throwing Parvati under the bus. Maybe I’m wrong! What do you think will happen??

“RuPaul’s Drag Race” Episode 1603 Recap: Mommy Issues

Finally some drama! After years of camaraderie — with maybe a villain or two — Drag Race has finally gathered together a collection of bitches. Thank God because Untucked was getting boring.

It’s the first post-premiere episode, which means our week two queens and week one queens are meeting. While I maintain that Jane is a bit too eager to embrace bitchiness without backing it up with wit and talent, her assessment of the week one queens was extremely accurate. Mostly that she says she’s a Morphine stan — they kind of have the same mom — and an Amanda hater — she doesn’t know her just based on vibes.

Meanwhile, Plasma flops even harder at bitchiness saying she knows Sapphira sang bass which feels kind of racist and kind of transphobic. Take a lesson from Jane: Don’t punch down identity-wise, do punch down talent-wise.

But Sapphira can’t be bothered, because along with Jane, she’s been gifted immunity potion for her win in the premiere. Ru explains they can use this potion for themself or for somebody else and that more rules will be explained later.

This episode is a ball! The mother of all balls! Look one is Mother Goose (an outfit inspired by a nursery rhyme), look two is Signifanct Mother (an outfit inspired by a famous mom), and look three is Call Me Mother/Father Eleganza (an outfit made by the queens out of menswear).

Another white twink makes the mistake of coming for Sapphira. She’s working on a denim gown which Dawn sarcastically calls groundbreaking. “You can be groundbreaking, I’ll just be stunning,” Sapphira fires back solidifying herself as one of my favorites of the season.

My other favorite Morphine has a little back and forth with fellow Miami queen Mhi’ya. Even after admitting she doesn’t sew — on season 16?? come on, babe! — she says she doesn’t expect much from Morphine because she only cares about being pretty. (It’s working!) Morphine meanwhile tells Ru she doesn’t know Mhi’ya, but she knows of her. “I’ve seen her perform a couple of times. I’ve given her a dollar,” she adds, a smirk on her pretty face.

Ru keeps things light(?) talking to Q about her grandma teaching her to sew but then disowning her. And then she tells Amanda she looks prettier without makeup. I agree?? Out of drag, I’m like oh Amanda you seem nice, you look pretty, I don’t hate you. It’s just her drag! But Ru picked her so I’m not sure why she gets to act surprised.

They’re doing rate-a-queen again, but this time someone is going home. Also they get to pick the top three and bottom three but Ru gets to pick the winner and which queens are lip syncing. Ever the chaos demon, Ru also leaves the results from the premieres.

Group 1:

1. Sapphira
2. Q
3. Dawn
4. Mirage
5. Morphine
6. Xunami
7. Amanda

Group 2:

1. Jane
2. Geneva
3. Nymphia
4. Plasma
5. Mhi’ya
6. Hershii
7. Megami

Morphine is mad that she’s ranked 5th and I’m mad on her behalf!

With talent and charm, Nymphia is the star of this episode. Not only are her looks great — more on that later — but while others are stressing she has time to flutter around the workroom being funny and chaotic. Morphine teaches her to say dirty things in Spanish to which she proudly declares herself trilingual.

The guest judge this week is Isaac Mizrahi along with Michelle and Carson. Without Ross and his botox, this panel is OLD. Good for them! I kind of like the vibe of elders dolling out advice and judgment to baby queens. Feels less absurd than last season when legend Sasha Colby was receiving critiques from peers.

There are a lot of looks this week so I’m just going to highlight some of them. For Mother Goose, Geneva is dressed as Miss Moffat which she describes as 1800s whore but feels more like 1980s sleeping bag. Jane is Pussycat by Fire but looks more like Rum Tum Tugger. The obvious standouts are Q with Man on the Moon, Nymphia with Little Boy Blue (she looks like Orlando!), and, my personal fave, Sapphira as Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater.

The weakest category of the night is Significant Mother. Some of the looks were good, but none wowed me. I did appreciate the sentiment of Nymphia’s Angelina wedding look — personal notes and drawings on the back included. And Geneva dressed as Salma Hayek at the Magic Mike’s Last Dance premiere is an excuse for me to say that movie is very underrated.

The deconstructed menswear looks were much better. Even Mirage who was struggling the whole episode really managed to pull off something that was at least really hot. Morphine is also hot in a denim bodysuit with a witch hat which admittedly has little clarity of vision but is, again, very hot. The obvious standouts are Q with her sculpted collar and Nymphia with her windblown tie look. Outfits like these are why the balls are my favorite episodes.

It’s rate-a-queen and Jane puts Nymphia first to atone for her sins. The final tops are Q, Nymphia, and Sapphira, and the bottoms are Mhi’ya, Geneva, and Hershii. These feel correct.

If I’d been participating in Ru’s version of The Circle, my ranking would have been:

1. Nymphia
2. Q
3. Sapphira
4. Dawn
5. Morphine
6. Xunami
7. Mirage
8. Jane
9. Plasma
10. Hershii
11. Geneva
12. Mhi’ya
13. Amanda

Nymphia wins making Q runner-up for the second week in a row. But, to be honest, there was no way Nymphia couldn’t win.

Mhi’ya is declared safe — Ru and the producers definitely want to see if they can get a quiet queen comes out of her shell storyline — which means it’s Geneva and Hershii lip syncing to “Maybe You’re the Problem” by Ava Max.

It’s not a great lip sync, but Geneva wins. It feels inevitable but I’m still sad! Hershii was so nice! Alas even Miss Congeniality needs to know how to sew.

Teleport Us to Mars!! Here Are Some Random Thoughts:

+ Once again wishing Jane was a bit better at creating drama. During Untucked, she insults Amanda, but there’s no shade to it! It’s just blunt.

+ Hershii worrying that going home means she won’t get more work and won’t be able to provide for her kids broke my heart.

+ Morphine calls Nymphia’s final look one of the best in Drag Race history and I have to agree.

+ Geneva saying she was only in the bottom because the queens were being shady has kind of turned me against her forever. I don’t like when queens lack total self-awareness! Also if that were true, Ru would’ve made her safe instead of having her lip sync.

+ Queen I’m rooting for: Nymphia, Q, Sapphira, and Morphine

+ Queen I’m horniest for: Morphine, my Instagram handle is my full name @drewburnettgregory

+ Queen I want to go home: Amanda, Mhi’ya, Geneva — let’s get some double eliminations started.

Boobs on Your Tube: After Five Years, Alice’s Finally Growing Into the Confidence of Her Convictions on “Good Trouble”

Look at you! You made it to the end of another week (and some weeks that is harder to do than others, so congratulations to you). The biggest television news this week is the Emmys, which had historic levels of wins by queer Black people and that’s bitterwseet, but great. Sai also interviewed the composers of The L Word: Generation Q’s musical episode about being Emmy nominated (they didn’t win, but it’s still pretty freaking cool!)

If you saw Mean Girls last weekend, you might appreciate a run down every moment that’s gayer than the original. Drew is still keeping you up-to-date on Drag Race, and she’s also got some feelings on Jodie Foster’s True Detective. On the reality tv beat, Anya is ready with your weekly recap of Traitors. Ted‘s got a queer cousin, crass humor, and I’m assuming still has a talking teddy bear at the center of it all? Valerie Anne’s got you covered. Valerie also watched Death and Other Details, and whew does it have a lot of queer women on its murderous cruise. And speaking of this trend, SkyMed has freak accidents and also a lot of queer characters.

Sort Of is back for its last season on Max and Drew wrote one of the greatest queer comedies we’ve ever seen a send off. Valerie watched Hazbin Hotel, a musical extravaganza about a bubbly queer princess of hell (what a description!!). Stef wants to talk about Emma Stone’s award-buzzy Poor Things and what it has to say about the monsters we all know.

And finally, AUTOSTRADDLE IS BACK AT SUNDANCE!! Drew’s going to have daily reviews for you, starting with Justice Smith’s I Saw the TV Glow, easily one of the hottest queer films at the festival this year.

Good Trouble 513: “Hanging by a Moment”

Written by Natalie

For the first time since he blindsided her by voting against the women’s center, Councilman Jack Hauss approaches Malika in the hall. She calls him out for lying about his vote and he takes great umbrage to her characterization. He chastises her for not understanding how things work and reminds her that she shouldn’t risk offending people whose help she might need down the line. Both Malika and I are annoyed by his smugness, but I’ve been around legislative politics enough to know that he’s right: there are no permanent allies or enemies. Still, the interaction grates on Malika and, with Hauss on the verge of becoming Council president, she sets out to derail his candidacy.

She sets out to expose Hauss’ real feelings on policing and turn public sentiment against him. She enlists Tracy in her efforts, who reaches out to an assistant in Hauss’ office to get his schedule. Because she’s the more senior of the pair, Tracy knows that their fingerprints can’t be on any effort to upset Hauss so, instead of approaching him directly at a local meeting, she recruits a friend to be their stand-in. Malika feeds the stand-in information and she holds Hauss’ feet to the fire. Instead of confronting Malika directly about her suspected antics, Hauss takes his complaints to Lucia.

Malika’s boss is far more forgiving than most would be in this situation. She insists that Malika’s vendetta against Hauss will only hurt them both, especially once he becomes president of the Council. Malika still approaches politics with the perspective of an activist — someone who can be pure hearted — but Lucia reminds her that, in politics, “sometimes have to bend [your values] to achieve the greater good.”

Later, Hauss crosses path with Malika again and offers her a deal: if she agrees to stop crashing his community meetings and “spreading untruths” about his stances, he’ll promise to push her women’s center proposal through once he becomes City Council president. Malika’s rightly skeptical of taking Hauss at his word — after all, he’s lied to her once before — but he commits to putting his promise in writing this time. If she backs off, she’ll have her women’s center in just a couple of months.

Meanwhile, Alice returns to the writers’ room with a new determination to show some brave leadership. She admits that they failed with the first draft of their script and that the network is in search of fresher jokes. Morrie, Murray and Morty are committed to the bit but, in the spirit of compromise, are willing to change all their jokes about gout to jokes about eczema or osteoporosis. Alice tries to test out some younger skewing jokes, as they make their way through the ferret clips, but none of her colleagues grasp her humor. The guys stubbornly cling to the style of jokes that built the show, but Alice reminds them that those same jokes might now cost them their jobs. Frustrated with their inability to compromise, Alice sends the team home early and ends up working on the script alone.

She returns to the writers’ room the next day having submitted all of her rewrites and, of course, the network loves it. Their boss touts the “fresh and funny” rewrite as exactly what the network is looking for and Alice accepts the plaudits on behalf of the team. Morrie, Murray and Morty seem just as annoyed as I am that, five seasons in, Alice still doesn’t have the confidence of her convictions. Morty insists that, in order to be a good leader, Alice can’t just step in and do everything on her own; she has to demand that the rest of them rise to meet the challenge. She does and the guys promise to follow wherever Alice leads them.

The Traitors 204 Recap: Who Did Parvati Shallow Poison?

Episode four of The Traitors season two picks up right at the cliffhanger where we left off: wondering to whom Parvati Shallow gave the POISON CHALICE. This tactic is new to season two, and I haven’t decided if I like it. Forcing the Traitors to murder in plain sight surely puts the Traitors more on edge than declaring who shall die from on high in their turret. It seems like it gives the Innocents a leg up, because surely one of them will be able to remember someone giving whoever ends up being murdered a weird glass, right? RIGHT?!

In the previous episode, Phaedra Parks decided she didn’t want to involve herself in giving out the chalice, so it was down to Dan Gheesling and Parvati. Dan was supposed to retrieve the chalice from the library, and then Parvati would be in charge of surreptitiously convincing someone to drink it. Despite his fervent desire to be a Traitor, Dan couldn’t pull off moving a glass out of a room (…), so Parvati handled that, too.

I thought Parvati might flirt her way into giving the chalice to a man, because, well, it seems like that might be the easiest route. Parvati identifies her target, places the chalice down, says cheers, and just like that — her target drinks.

But it wasn’t a man! It was dear, sweet, trusting and silly Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu! Parvati targeted someone whom she loves, who would never suspect her. It’s the kind of cutthroat ruthlessness we’ve come to expect from such a strong game player. (It’s giving Amanda Kimmel’s commitment to Parvati in Survivor’s Heroes vs. Villains.)

Dan, quite literally right next to Parvati and Ekin-Su, doesn’t seem to notice that Parvati has finished the job he was supposed to start. Sorry Dan, you’re being upstaged by the very person you decided to bring in! Why am I not surprised?

After an odd and unexplained mention that Deontay Wilder has left the game “after the day’s events” (?), we’re on to another lavish breakfast of scones and endless orange juice. Dan, Phaedra, and Parvati arrive at the table first, and this is when Parvati reveals who she murdered. She explains that her choice of murder victim wasn’t particularly strategic — it moreso came from a place of pragmatism; who could she subtly get to drink out of a “rusty old cup”? Phaedra is not pleased with the choice; she’s worried that because she voted for Ekin-Su at the last roundtable, people might now suspect her (I don’t quite follow the logic tbqh).

But much to everyone’s surprise, every single remaining contestant ultimately walks through the door to breakfast — including Ekin-Su! Alan Cumming reveals that the poisoned victim will die at some point later today. Yikes!!

Before the challenge, Dan tells Parvati that he’s wondering if they should throw Phaedra under the bus, essentially to give the Innocents something. This is disappointing because it feels both mean and not strategic in addition to being the second time a Black woman has been targeted for no discernible reason this season. It’s way too early in the game to justify giving the Innocents literally any clue, in my opinion! (If anything, I think Parvati and Phaedra should team up and get rid of Dan — people already suspect him!!!) Disappointingly, Parvati seems to agree with Dan, but I’m hoping she’s just saying that to his face to keep him thinking she’s working with him, so that she can stab him in the back and betray him later! A girl can dream.

The challenge for the day is an extremely theatrical, preemptive funeral march/trivia game for the yet-to-be-identified poison victim. I’m not gonna lie, this challenge got really creepy, and I actually began to question if this might do a little psychological damage! The combination of the eerie black carriage, drawn by eerie black horses, with all the contestants dressed in black, led by the commanding theatrical force of nature that is Alan Cumming made this feel, at least to me, like… a little too scary! I do think that’s the point — I guess the line between horror camp and actual horror is pretty thin.

I mean, you’re not wrong, Alan Cumming!

By the end of the challenge, it comes down to three potential victims: Parvati, Mercedes “MJ” Javid, and of course, Ekin-Su. Everyone then votes for who they believe was murdered, and every single person votes for MJ, because strategically, she seems like a good target for the Traitors — she’s opinionated, outspoken, and not afraid to be a team of one. Alan Cumming reveals that Ekin-Su was in fact the actual victim and everyone — including Parvati, Phaedra and Dan — is like WHAT???!?!

Chaos ensues. No one can figure out why the Traitors would want to get rid of Ekin-Su. They seem to have forgotten that this wasn’t a typical murder — someone had to drink out of a weird chalice! Nobody seems to be asking, did anyone see someone give Ekin-Su a drink?? Such as, I don’t know, Parvati??

Back at the house, Larsa Pippen is rallying the housewives — including Phaedra — towards voting for either Chris “CT” Tamburello or Dan, because she is firmly convinced an “alpha male” is behind this. (Her belief that only a strong man could be making the choices to get rid of other strong men feels, well… somewhat outdated!). Parvati decides to take control of the narrative because that’s what she does; she plants the seeds that maybe Larsa is a Traitor. And her listeners fall in line, of course. Parvati makes it look easy.

It’s interesting to see how differently Phaedra and Parvati approach the role of Traitor. Phaedra seems to prioritize fitting in with her allies, keeping such a low profile that even I, a viewer who knows that she’s a Traitor, find myself thinking she’s innocent. Parvati, on the other hand, takes a more domineering approach, drawing focus away from herself by throwing it onto someone else (in this case, Larsa). I love when you get to see multiple strong players take completely different strategies! (As for Dan’s strategy… he seems to think he’s controlling the game when really all he did was engineer a situation where he could be close to Parvati. Give him a fedora and call him Russell Hantz!)

(I want to give a quick shout-out to Sandra Diaz-Twine, who seems to be playing this game like it’s a version of Survivor, and the roundtable is Tribal Council. She talks with everyone, feels out where the votes might go, and decides to rally people — before the roundtable even begins! — towards Larsa because she doesn’t want her ally CT to go home. Sandra doesn’t seem as concerned with identifying the Traitors as she is with remaining in the game, which could actually totally be a winning strategy.)

At the roundtable, Parvati again throws Larsa under the bus, saying that the Traitor is likely an actor, or…a housewife. Phaedra is noticeably perturbed by this, because it throws heat in her direction, as a fellow housewife herself.

After Larsa gets the most votes and goes home, the Traitors meet in the turret. Phaedra is extremely mad at Parvati (and Dan, because he’s there too) for implicating the housewives, and I see where Phaedra is coming from. She really lays into Parvati, saying no one likes her and everyone thinks she’s a Traitor! I wonder if this is true or if it’s coming from a place of anger. The editing hasn’t yet shown us people outwardly hating Parvati, but she’s certainly been unpopular in other reality TV shows she’s been on. She can be divisive!

I also could see how Parvati’s move to implicate the housewives could actually strengthen Phaedra’s game, because people would never guess that Parvati and Phaedra are working together. But that would require Parvati and Phaedra to trust each other wholly and completely, and unfortunately, at least right now, I don’t think they do.

This episode leaves us in an emotionally volatile moment: Will Phaedra and Parvati reconcile, or will each race toward cannibalizing the other first? We’ll see!!

“RuPaul’s Drag Race” Episode 1602 Recap: B Team

Well, there’s always room for improvement. If last week’s premiere part one impressed me, this week’s’ premiere part two left me feeling… hmm. I can’t even imagine how strange that first week on Drag Race must be so I’m hoping we see better from this group. After one episode I just kept thinking: I’ve seen better drag all over the country.

Let’s meet our second batch of queens!

Hershii LiqCour-Jeté is from Los Angeles. She’s Kornbread’s sister and describes her drag as beautiful and stupid. It’s glam camp aunty drag, she says.

Plasma is from NYC. A 65 year old woman inhabiting a gorgeous 24 year old body (her words not mine), she leans hard toward 1950s glamour. She references Julie Andrews, Judy Garland, and Barbra Streisand, and probably celebrates her birthday showing off at Marie’s Crisis.

Geneva Karr is from Brownsville, Texas. She describes herself as very dramatic, very fantastic, Mexican spice. She says she puts the ass in Texas.

Plane Jane is from Boston. More specifically, she says she’s an authentically Russian clown hooker from Boston. She also says she’s a big boobed bitch which she will prove several times throughout this episode.

Megami is from Brooklyn. She started drag as a cosplayer at Comic Con. She describes herself as a loud Latina and says that if some people think drag queens are evil, why not indulge that fantasy?

Mhi’ya Iman Le’Paige is from Miami. She describes herself as a ball of fire full of flips and tricks. She is our resident TikTok star of the season, but at least that stardom is due to acrobatics, not being a twin.

Nymphia Wind is from Brooklyn. She moved there a year prior from Taiwan where she has a big fanbase. She describes herself as a banana Buddha, and, yes, she really does seem to love bananas.

The photoshoot for this group is the SheMV, which I found to be far more inspired than last week’s ring camera. Ts Madison and Ru play DMV employees and photograph the queens while attempting to banter with them. Hershii, Plasma, and Geneva are all really quick with the banter which gives me hope there will be some Snatch Game standouts this year.

As the queens de-drag, Plain Jane is trying so hard to be a bitch, but she’s just… not quick enough. I love the cunty ones! But you have to back up that attitude with a sharp tongue.

Nymphia wins the mini challenge and the Queen Choice Awards talent show is announced. Immunity is also announced which I learned this week can be saved?? It’s not just for the next week?? I’m curious exactly how that will work.

The queens talk about anti-drag laws and then Plasma in a confessional declares herself the underdog. Already?? The Rachel Berry energy is strong in that one. Jane says Nymphia is in it to host Drag Race Taiwan which is less a dig and more good business sense. We then learn that Hershii has two kids and it’s very sweet and made me love her! This chat is interrupted by Becky G, the episode’s guest judge, who arrives at the workroom to say hi.

Derrick Barry is back doing literally nothing and the talent show begins. Geneva lip syncs to an original song and dances and I suppose it’s good, but everyone in the room seems to think it’s really good. Hershii also lip syncs to an original song. Plasma lip syncs and then sings and then does impressions — it’s more theatre kid than theatre adult. Nymphia does a traditional Taiwanese dance and, in my opinion, easily wins.

Less successful is Megami who poorly lip syncs to “What’s Up” by 4 Non Blondes and then holds up cards that say, “If you love drag on TV, love us in the voting booth. Protect queer art.” Jane rightfully points out that Megami has not presented us with any of said queer art that needs protecting? I also think there’s a real misunderstanding of the straight Drag Race audience. The sign should’ve read: “If you love drag on TV, don’t let your conservative families and shitty husbands vote against our rights.”

Mhi’ya lip syncs and does a lot of flips. It’s impressive, but I do think her challenge for the season will be harnessing those abilities into something more cohesive. Jane then lip syncs to an original song about her “burger finger” which includes a big tit reveal and squirting mustard and ketchup on said tits. It’s… extremely fine? I love crass! But there’s nothing actually shocking about this. It’s like the edgy comedy version of Megami’s political statement.

The runway theme is “made you look” which is a fancy way of saying reveals. Nymphia does the life cycle of a banana and it is really well-done even if I’m desperately hoping she doesn’t hold onto the bananas like Tina Burner held onto the concept of fire. Hershii has a big coat that reveals a leather (pleather? latex?) suit dress. Plasma is a tomato pin cushion with three reveals. Mhi’ya removes a yellow jacket to a swimsuit. Geneva is in a shiny mariachi outfit that falls into a dress. (She proudly says, “I didn’t leave anything on the floor. It’s a reveal not a take things off.” I agree! This is my favorite type of reveal!) Megami is a creepy goddess but her only reveal is opening her hands to show they have eyes on them. Jane is a Russian oligarch and then turns into a Boston slut. I love big boobs as much as the next girl, but as a reveal it’s even less interesting than a banana.

Despite telling the other queens the opposite, Jane ranks the queens strategically putting Nymphia last. This works and the top two are Jane and Geneva. They lip sync to “Shower” by Becky G and whaddya know Jane’s tit is out through half the performance. Alas Geneva is kind of boring, so Jane wins, her strategic maneuver a success.

She’s going to need that immunity when she meets those week one queens.

Teleport Us to Mars!! Here Are Some Random Thoughts:

+ Did Mhi’ya actually fall asleep at the DMV or was that a bit? I couldn’t tell!

+ Plasma having a Jan robe… it makes so much sense.

+ Now that we have all our queens, its time for some astrology:

Amanda — Sagittarius
Dawn — Aries
Geneva — Leo
Hershii — Sagittarius
Jane — Aquarius
Megami — Taurus
Mhi’ya — Scorpio
Mirage — Capricorn
Morphine — Capricorn
Nymphia — Leo
Plasma — Scorpio
Q — Leo
Sapphira — Libra
Xunami — Taurus

As a Capricorn sun, Taurus moon, Leo rising, Sag Mercury and Venus, I feel very represented this season.

+ Queen I’m rooting for: Sapphira and Morphine (from this week: Hershii and Nymphia)

+ Queen I’m horniest for: Morphine (missed you this week, babe)

+ Queen I want to go home: Amanda and Megami

The Traitors Is a Dramatic Game of Social Manipulation, What Does That Teach Us?

If you’re at my apartment on a Friday or Saturday night, and we’re wondering, what should we do, how should we spend the evening?, I can pretty much guarantee you one thing: I will suggest, with feigned casualness, trying to seem like I really don’t care that much, that we play One Night Ultimate Werewolf. I won’t bore you with the details, because who on god’s green earth wants to read board game instructions. All you need to know is someone is secretly deemed The Werewolf, and they don’t want to be discovered by the rest of the group as such. The group has five minutes to discuss, with the goal of identifying who really is The Werewolf. If the group successfully identifies The Werewolf, the group wins; if The Werewolf goes undetected, The Werewolf wins.

Reality competition series The Traitors is basically One Night Ultimate Werewolf, except all the people playing are from various other reality TV shows, and the villains are The Traitors, not The Werewolf. And instead of having five minutes to discuss, you have hours, or days, or weeks, broken up by episodic challenges. And the American version  all inexplicably takes place in a huge, ancient mansion in Scotland, hosted by Alan Cumming, who is dressed to the nines, narrating each turn of events in the thickest Scottish accent you’ve ever heard. So yeah, it’s amazing.

The Traitors Season Two opens with a bunch of reality TV stars from totally disparate worlds — from Rupaul’s Drag Race’s Peppermint, to Survivor’s Parvati Shallow and Sandra Diaz-Twine, to Bling Empire’s Kevin Kreider, to a professional boxer, to a random retired British politician — arriving at Alan Cumming’s mansion in rural Scotland. That would’ve been enough of an opening, but no, The Traitors goes hard where it simply could’ve not gone at all. The stars are greeted by Alan Cumming’s bearded, silent footman, then his dog Lala, and finally, a bunch of people dressed all in black vigorously playing these huge drums, for some reason. Everyone’s screaming, and so am I! This is theater, people!!! And I love theater!!

As with most competition reality TV shows, the pace feels slower in the first few episodes — but honestly, the completely unnecessary drama of literally every choice made by the producers of The Traitors makes it feel fast-paced and delicious from the very start. For anyone who watches a good amount of reality TV, it’s really dang fun to see folks from very different shows all socializing here. The bizarreness of someone from Big Brother teaching Kevin from Bling Empire about Johnny Bananas from The Challenge (now is when I confess… I also love The Challenge) is just — well, it’s just something I never thought I’d see borne out.

Of course, I’d be remiss if I didn’t admit that arguably the biggest reality TV pairing of this season (at least for me) is two people from the same world — Parvati and Sandra from Survivor. Survivor fans out there know about the long-standing rivalry between these two absolute icons, and let me just say, The Traitors Season Two, at least in the first three episodes, does not disappoint when it comes to exploring their dynamic.

And this is where I’ll level with you — as soon as I saw Parvati and Sandra were gonna be in the second season of The Traitors, I was deeply hoping that one or both of them would be a traitor. Parvati in particular, because the role of Traitor is one Parvati Shallow was meant to play. The Traitor must have high emotional intelligence and be able to form connections with, if not everybody, then at least the right socially influential people. The Traitor must be calm under pressure, or else their identity will be discovered by the group. The Traitor must be agile and adjust their plans as social dynamics shift and evolve. Parvati Shallow — #1 flirter; master meditator; evolving, growing human being — would make a great Traitor, wouldn’t she?

But if there’s anything I’ve learned from Parvati, it’s that the best way to keep someone invested isn’t to give them what they want — it’s to withhold. So I’m not going to tell you if she got selected as a traitor or not. I’m not going to tell you if it happens in a conventional way or not, or if it happens at all. You’ll just have to watch to find out. If you want.

What I will tell you is that every single thing about The Traitors — from the setting, to the emotionality of the contestants, to the language Alan Cumming uses, to the very timbre of my recaps! — is over the top. Only Johnny Bananas (a fascinating human being to me; how on earth can you win a show with the physical and mental absurdity of The Challenge not once, not twice, but seven times?!) seems to realize how silly and extravagant this show’s whole deal is. Everyone else — including me, as a viewer — gets sucked into the lush, high-octane world of The Traitors and swallowed whole.

You might think, then, that The Traitors is escapism at its finest. Sure, on a surface level, it is. I could (and will) watch it for hours, completely dissociated from the world around me. But I don’t think it’s that simple. In fact, early in the show, The Challenge’s Trishelle Cannatella’s treatment of Peppermint shows us that the power dynamics at play in the game are anything but divorced from reality. Without really anything significant to go on — the game has truly just started — Trishelle decides, based on how Peppermint reacted to a joke, that she thinks Peppermint is a Traitor. It’s hard not to see racism, transphobia, and homophobia, as factors in how Trishelle effectively turns nearly the whole group against Peppermint, rather swiftly, which is especially easy for her to do since Peppermint didn’t come on with sibling cast members the way most other players did, which Peppermint spoke about in her exit interview with Out. Trishelle’s treatment of Peppermint and her subsequent elimination is hard to watch and stomach. Peppermint ends up, heartbreakingly, being the very first person sent home, despite, of course, not being a Traitor. I think the outcomes of the Trishelle’s and the group’s treatment of Peppermint will heavily impact the rest of the season, given how strongly some folks reacted when Peppermint was revealed to not be a Traitor, just after being the very first person the group sent home.

The Traitors is a show, much like One Night Ultimate Werewolf, about social manipulation. How groups of people define otherhood, rightly or wrongly, based in reality, assumption, fantasy, or some mix of all three. How someone slides into or resists a role thrust upon them by a group. How someone seizes, maintains, and loses power. How the collective subsumes the individual every time, except for when the individual subsumes the collective. How groupthink pulls focus from those deserving scrutiny to those completely innocent.

I’ll be watching The Traitors Season Two and recapping it every Friday. Join me?

Boobs on Your Tube: Team Work Really Doesn’t Make the Dream Work as Work Woes Sour “Good Trouble”

Well friends, this Friday the biggest news in queer TV is… drumroll….

Presenting the Winners of the 6th Annual Autostraddle TV Awards!

So make sure that you click on over to that first (we’ll wait!) before reading the rest of this round up! Are you back? Ok good! Drag Race is back for another season and that mean Drew is back with the weekly recaps you don’t want to miss! Drew also interviewed her girlfriend Elise Bauman on being queer and competitive in new Canadian sitcom One More Time. Max cancelled Our Flag Means Death and Nic’s writing in response to that devastating news is a must read. After this week’s episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Kayla would like us to ponder if Maybe All Real Housewives Are Bisexual.

Also, our latest Anatomy of a Queer Sex Scene entry is here to argue that Multiple Maniacs has the best lesbian sex scene ever. Kayla watched All Fun and Games, and is ready to argue that your favorite silly horror movie doesn’t need have an elaborate backstory. Stroking an Animal is a sensuous portrait of polyamory. Riese wrote you an epic list of the 60 best lesbian movies on Tubi.

And finally, it’s Mean Girls Premiere Friday!! Valerie and Nic promise that the remake left them too gay to function, and that is a gift to us all!

Notes from the TV Team: 

+ La Brea is back, which I tell you because there was once a brief queer character on it, but alas I don’t spy any queerness this season yet. I’ll be sure to report back if that changes! — Valerie Anne

Good Trouble 512: “With a Little Help From My Friends”

Written by Natalie

When Malika’s proposal for the women’s center failed, she was so heartbroken, I wondered if Malika would ever return to her job as a political staffer. Losing a vote is always hard but to be blindsided like that? It’s hard to get over. Too hard, Malika surmises, so she returns to the office only to tender her resignation. But when she turns up, it’s just in time to catch the bus to the office’s staff retreat… a retreat for which Malika is woefully overdressed.

Once there, Malika’s phone is confiscated and she’s forced to join her colleagues in some team-building activities. She barely makes an effort, though, admittedly, doing a hula hoop pass in a flowy dress and stiletto booties would be difficult for anyone. Later, she can’t avoid participating the “Circle of Truth” and confesses how dejected she felt after the women’s center’s failure. Having all experienced that feeling before, her colleagues move across the circle, and Malika realizes she’s not alone. Will, the office’s Chief of Staff, encourages Malika to truly become part of the team: he assures her that working with others takes the sting out of the losses. She returns to the Coterie, reinvigorated by the hokey retreat (of course!) and determined to persevere on her dream of building a women’s’ center.

Meanwhile, Alice is greeted in the Ferrets & Friends‘ writers’ room by a gift basket from the network, welcoming her to her first day as head writer. She keeps the news of her new leadership role from Morty, Murray, and Morrie but they’d already seen the gift’s card and admit to being hurt that Alice didn’t tell them. Alice insists that the change is just a formality and nothing has to change: all that matters is that they weren’t cancelled and they still have jobs. The guys agree and they persist with their usual fodder and antics. But the next day, the network exec calls Alice in and chastises her for delivering the same tired jokes that had Ferrets & Friends on the verge of being cancelled. The exec insists that Alice be the fresh, young voice the network hired her to be.

“You have an opportunity to prove yourself, Alice,” Kathy, the network exec, pleads. “Don’t blow it because you’re too afraid to lead.”

Both Malika and Alice’s storylines this week left me feeling like the show had done a disservice to its characters and the story they’ve told for the past five seasons. Was Malika attempting to handle the women’s center alone or did Lucia saddle her with a bulk of the work to add strain to her relationship with Angelica? It feels like the writers forgot how we got to this point and settled for making Malika look oblivious instead. Meanwhile, we’re five seasons into this show, and Alice’s story is still about her lack of confidence. How many times do we have to go through this? I’m tired.

Maybe All Real Housewives Are Bisexual

There comes a time in every Real Housewives franchise, it seems, when one Housewife asks the rest of the Wives whether they would ever be with a woman. It’s presented as a hypothetical, a safe way for mostly heterosexual-identifying women to imagine their sexuality in a different light. Some Wives take the question seriously and open up about past sexual experiences or relationships with women. Some double down on their straightness explicitly by saying never or implicitly by regarding queerness as some costume to try on. The latest instance of this social tradition occurs in this week’s episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. While at an outdoor wine tasting in Ojai, longtime cast member Kyle Richards asks the group if they’d ever date a woman. It feels important to note the women aren’t talking about anything remotely related to this. It’s completely and totally out of nowhere.

Garcelle Beauvais says she indeed thinks about it sometimes, which doesn’t really surprise me. She has talked about hooking up with women in the past. Kyle, meanwhile, also says she is open to it. It seems like the whole reason she posed this question was so she could answer it. I wouldn’t go so far as to call it Kyle coming out necessarily; after all, it’s still couched in the hypothetical. But that’s also why it really does seem like she’s trying to say something real about her sexuality. By doing so in the context of just a fun little party question, there’s a layer of distance there.

It’s also made more interesting by the fact that rumors have been circulating behind-the-scenes about Kyle being in a relationship with country singer Morgan Wade. Neither woman has commented publicly on her sexuality, and Kyle and Morgan have dismissed the rumors while also cheekily leaning into them in a music video for one of Morgan’s songs.

Next, Kyle and fellow cast member Dorit Kemsley, for some reason, decide to…demonstrate scissoring? And now with their hands like normal people but quite literally on the ground, scissoring with their clothes on.

Suddenly, they’re back to seeming super straight with this one. But Kyle bringing up scissoring in the first place, especially against the backdrop of these Morgan rumors, which some of the other women including Dorit and Garcelle seem to believe on some level, does make it seem like she’s trying to tell us something here. If nothing else, she at least seems to have some curiosity about lesbian sex!

This moment does support my theory that all or most Real Housewives are bisexual. The homosocial environments the shows often place these women in often lead to homoerotic physical intimacy. And sometimes it’s played for a cheap joke, like this scissoring scene, but other times there’s also something deeper there, the intense bonds between the women sometimes existing in a more nebulous realm than mere friendship. Real Housewives of Beverly Hills in particular is no stranger to dyke drama; Denise Richards left the show because of it.

So many of these reality shows are about performing femininity in specific ways, and it’s fascinating that the longer a franchise has been on, the more we see the Housewives start to question some of the roles and expectations they’ve been slotted into. It remains to be seen if this is building to a late-in-life coming out storyline for Kyle, but I really think it could be! I’ll be tracking closely and reporting as Bravo Dyke when needed.

Also, I mean, did anyone see the way Kyle and Morgan were feeding each other fruit?! 👀

“RuPaul’s Drag Race” Episode 1601 Recap: Get Immunized

This is a recap of RuPaul’s Drag Race episode 1601, the season 16 premiere. Spoilers below.

Hello hello hello! It seems like only yesterday Sasha Colby was receiving her inevitable crowning and now here we are with another season of RuPaul’s Drag Race and a whole new batch of queens. This year Ru promises a whole new approach which — based on past seasons — could either mean complex psychological torture or opening chocolate bars.

But the best part of Drag Race has always been the queens themselves so let’s meet our new arrivals! It’s a split premiere so this episode only introduces us to the first seven.

Q is from Kansas City. An artist and a diva, she says she’s known for fashion. She also says she’s always the grandest person in the room which is certainly the case this time since no one else has arrived.

Xunami Muse is from New York City. She’s Kandy’s daughter, she’s from Panama, and she identifies as straight off the runway — with the supporting evidence that she’s signed with a modeling agency.

Amanda Tori Meating is from Los Angeles. She has a lot of bright colors and a lot of bad jokes. She says she gets her influence from the 80’s which makes sense for both. She has a similar quality to queens I’ve disliked in the past, but her drag isn’t polished enough for me to feel worried about her sticking around.

Morphine Love Dion is from Miami. She is hot. HOT. Crush of the season. She says she’s known for her face and her ass and both are indeed memorable. She’s friends with Xunami and immediately critiques the neck of Amanda’s breastplate showing. Sexy and cunty? Immediate fave.

Sapphira Cristál is from Philadelphia. Her drag is big. She’s an opera singer, a jazz singer, and an R&B singer. She speaks with authority and backs it up with talent.

Mirage is from Las Vegas. She says she’s known as the legs of Las Vegas. A stripper who shops at Claire’s, she gets her inspiration from Vegas itself. She fangirls over a few of the other queens and it’s cute.

And, finally, Dawn is from Brooklyn. She specifically identifies as “from Brooklyn” because she is not like other girls. An ethereal elf goddess, she makes her own clothes and designs her own wigs. She is the kind of queen who will be annoying if untalented and great if talented. So far I’m thinking she’s talented.

Our first seven queens introduced, Ru enters looking like a train conductor which I am going to assume is a reference to the trains flag. To be honest, I’m kind of obsessed with his bright red ascot made of what looks like two gloves tied together.

The first mini challenge is a photoshoot on a fake porch. Ru is behind the door and the photos are being taken on a Ring-like camera. I cannot tell if this is supposed to be in support of our increased surveillance state or satire. It’s always hard to tell with Miss RuPaul. Love Connie shows up as a concerned neighbor and it starts to feel like satire… but I was half-expecting Ru to say, “This photoshoot is brought to you by the Next Door app.”

Dawn won me over during this challenge with her banter and Sapphira wins the challenge with her pose. Sapphira is also horny for the other queens as they de-drag which I’m always going to appreciate.

This week’s maxi challenge is a talent show tribute to MTV’s Spring Break… which means it’s a regular premiere episode talent show but Derrick Barry is hosting as Britney Spears and the stage will have a suggestion of early 2000s Florida aesthetic.

There are a few twists, but it’s less a reinvention of the show and more a return to the past. Sure, this premiere episode lets the queens vote but that doesn’t really matter since no one goes home. (Ugh.) The big twist is the winners this season will have immunity for the following week. This is how Drag Race used to be through season five! I guess after a certain amount of years, you do a 360 and end up right back where you started. Next let’s bring back the grease filter. And Untucked that isn’t boring.

Morphine is solidifying her place in my heart by continuing to be a hot bitch when Charlize Theron walks in! If I was the queens, I would’ve shouted, “I love Young Adult and Tully! Make Atomic Blonde 2!” She’s wearing Dior and gives a corny speech about the state of the world which I will allow because she has a trans kid — and because she’s so hot and talented half the time I even forget her social media handle is CharlizeAfrica.

As the queens are getting ready for the talent show, Morphine reveals that her parents still don’t know that she does drag. Or they pretend not to know. Choosing to go on the show is choosing to be over worrying about it. She also says that in middle school she had multiple girlfriends to overcompensate for her queerness. But if she ever wants multiple girlfriends in a queer way she should give me a call.

Talent show time! Morphine starts off with a solid lip sync and dance to “A Palé” by Rosalía. It’s not reinventing any wheels but it’s good. Then Amanda lip syncs to an original song about her kitty to which Sapphira deadpans she’s allergic to cats. Unfortunately, Ru loves it so maybe she will be sticking around.

Dawn also lip syncs to her own song, but it has a lot of reveals and feels like a strong introduction to herself. She’s followed by Q who is one of two queens to actually do a talent! Q’s Puppet Playhouse involves an optical illusion where her hands are her feet doing ballet which makes it look like a big head on a tiny body. It’s really good!

Back to lip syncs, Mirage lip syncs to an original song but at least she has the floorwork talent to keep it interesting. Xunami also lip syncs to an original song and it’s the kind of thing that would be more impressive if it had been written on the spot for a different premiere format than a pre-planned talent show.

Sapphira finishes strong by singing opera. And not just opera but horny opera about wanting men while doing splits. I love when the queens have other talents, but especially when they filter those other talents through a drag lens. Sapphira has winner energy.

The runway is RuVeal yourself. Morphine is in a white towel dress with a towel head wrap that she takes off to reveal a long wig and a blue bathing suit. Dawn looks like a yeti and then like the bride of that yeti. Amanda is in a skin suit and then becomes a purple alien. Xunami is in a red velvet jacket dress that turns into another red dress that turns into a leather get up. Q looks like Maleficent and then spreads her wings into a butterfly. Mirage is in a blue and orange feathered dress and then reveals titties. And Sapphira is in an elegant blue dress that has several reveals, the last also being titties — tiny ones.

The judges criticize Morphine’s reveal look, but Charlize defends her by saying she’s an ass girl. Yes! The body IS the reveal. Simplicity works in this case! One episode in and I’m already ready to fight the judges on behalf of my fave.

The other important moment from the critiques is learning that Q made her own outfit. It really is magnificent. Q has established herself as one of the frontrunners.

The rate-a-queen is kind of pointless since no one gets sent home. But, for what it’s worth, most of the queens rate Xunami and Amanda lowest.

Sapphira and Q are deservedly the top and are lip syncing for the win and immunity to Beyoncé’s “Break My Soul.” We learn that Q’s weakness is lip syncing. She gives it her all, but it’s no contest. Even with her tiny titties flopping out, Sapphira easily wins with dance talent, comedy, and just pure energy.

And that’s the episode! No one goes home and one queen has immunity. That means this is going to be a long season of Drag Race. But, hey, there’s no clear winner, the queens are pretty talented, and I already have a crush. I’m ready to watch until the summer.

Teleport Us to Mars!! Here Are Some Random Thoughts:

+ Dawn says Amanda has great bone structure but she couldn’t tell when she had makeup on.

+ I did not appreciate Ru’s Florida jab especially in front of a Miami queen!

+ Untucked is so boring! All of the queens are so nice to each other. Even Amanda takes her critiques in stride which made me like her more. Ugh. No more RuPaul’s Best Friend’s Race. I hope the next seven are bitchier.

+ Queen I’m rooting for: Sapphira and Morphine

+ Queen I’m horniest for: Morphine

+ Queen I want to go home: Amanda

Boobs on Your Tube: Raising Kanan Is Setting up a Peak 90s Black Girl Love Story

Happy New Year, let’s get right to it! We have updated so may queer television streaming guides for you to ring in the new year, and hereeee we go:

• 25 Lesbian Movies on Hulu That You Can Watch Right Now For Fun If You Want
• LGBTQ+ Movies To Stream on Netflix With Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans Characters
• And also, even though we do this deep dive every month (support queer media!) here is your monthly streaming guide — January 2024: What’s New, Gay and Streaming On Max, Netflix, Hulu, Prime Video, Peacock, Starz and Paramount+

Good Trouble is back for its final season, and Natalie has a recap of the first episode for you — she’s also planning to have a variety of pieces in various places (including this column) as we prepare to say goodbye to The Fosters-verse after all these years! Kayla’s back at Bravo Dyke Central to tell you that in the Real Housewives: Salt Lake season finale, Monica gave the gays everything they want. Drew said fuck it! She’s finally going to watch Riverdale this year, and she’s going to liveblog the jokes with you every step of the way. Speaking of Drew jokes, she also made a list of actresses born before her grandma ranked by how badly she wants them to top her. And for that, you are welcome.

And in our biggest news, the time has come once again for the Autostraddle TV Awards!! Voting is open now and will close on Monday, January 8 at 5p.m. EST.

Here is your official ballot! Don’t forget to vote!

Raising Kanan 305: “Brothers and Keepers”

Written by Carmen

As I mentioned last week on Raising Kanan, after multiple seasons of pain, things are finally turning Jukebox’s way. Her once notoriously homophobic father has become her biggest advocate (there’s a scene this week where Marvin cheers her on from the car that actually made me squeal! The character growth!). Her life-long passion for singing has turned into a potential career path, thanks to her placement in a new girl group that’s vying for national attention. And speaking of that girl group — both of the group’s other two members were on my shortlist to be Jukebox’s next girlfriend.

Well, I think we got an answer to that last remaining question this week! Iesha, the group’s designated “girl next door” figure, cannot get these dance steps. The group’s manager is just about done with her entirely. But Jukebox offers to stay behind after rehearsal and help Iesha catch up.

Once they’re done dancing, now alone and sweaty and out of breath sitting on the floor, Iesha confesses that she’s not sure she is cut out for this. After all (as she bats her eyes), she’s not as talented as Jukebox. Jukebox complains, Iesha’s the “girl next door” but Juke is the tomboy —  she has to do these complicated dance numbers while shuffling around in Timberland boots. Iesha smiles and tells her that no one wears Timbs like Juke. OK. This is when I knew we were on to something.

Jukebox seemingly senses the vibe too, because next she tests out a disclosure. She casually lets it slide that Iesha’s support sounds a lot like her “friend” Nicole. Iesha says that Nicole should come hang out, so the two of them can gang up on Juke together. Jukebox lets out a small nervous breath, “Nicole was my girlfriend.”

Iesha nods her head slightly, letting the information sink in. Then she goes right on back to her flirting. And this is when I knew we were in for something good.

Juke and Iesha continue their playful flirting outside of the dance studio in that way teenagers do where they are making fun of each other with their words, but their eyes keep soaking each other in. Marvin watches from the car, and London Brown’s comic timing has never been more fierce as he’s less than one second away from basically making a hand hearts in the air, the way he’s carrying on. When Juke finally gets in the car, he teases her that there’s always room for “her girl” to get a ride if she wants. Jukebox pretends like she doesn’t know what Marvin means (even though she’s already blushing). He claps her on the back and brings her in for a hug, cheering on his daughter, “She’s a dime, Juke! You know you get your good taste from me, right??”

This is where our little puppy love story takes a pivot, I’m sorry to say, because Jukebox invited Iesha out to Uncle Lou’s open mike night — not necessarily as a date… but also, I think Juke was definitely hoping it was a date. Unfortunately when Kanan shows up, Iesha starts flirting with him, too! Juke quietly clocks it right away and when Kanan pulls her aside to (respectfully, I gotta say! I loved this moment of acknowledgment!) ask his cousin about Iesha, “Is that you?” Jukebox says no.

Juke’s eyes are telling another story — one of jaded dreams and disappointment — but Kanan, being a teen boy, goes with what she said and not the overall sad girl vibe she’s putting out into the universe. He goes back to flirt more with Iesha, but the camera lingers on Juke.

Maybe I’m going to be proven wrong here, but everything within me is saying that this is not the end for Iesha and Juke. I think this is the first act. Coming out as a Black queer teen in the 90s can be messy business, but the connection between Iesha and Juke was genuine. And I think we have a Black love story in the making on our hands.

Monica Gave the Gays Everything They Want in the “Salt Lake City” Finale

Over here at Bravo Dyke HQ, I tend to mostly focus on covering any Sapphic happenings in the Real Housewives extended Bravo universe, even when those happenings are somewhat of a stretch. Every once in a while though, this Bravoverse delivers a moment so fork-tender juicy, so delicious that it breaks into larger cultural discourse beyond my group chats and social media. This was certainly the case with Scandoval, the Vanderpump Rules affair that even people who do not watch any of these shows heard about, perhaps against their will, but inspiring some to go back and watch all ten seasons for the first time just to understand what all the tomtomfoolery was about.

This latest slice of group chat-exploding Bravo drama, though, I personally find more entertaining than Scandoval. It has similarly inspired those behind on Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, which has largely been a snooze following the explosive moment of one of its cast members going to federal prison for scamming elderly people, to catch the fuck up. Vulture has created an entire mini-section on its homepage dedicated to coverage of the season four finale where it all went down. And as our intrepid Bravo Dyke, I must weigh in, because that was one of the best edited and crafted episodes of Real Housewives we’ve seen in a minute.

The structure of the episode brings to mind…How To Get Away With Murder in its nonlinear approach that defies logical conventions of time and space. We open on a stormy sky. Heather Gay stands on a beach, saying she has something important to tell the other women. We then jump into a foreshadowing montage of moments to come at episode’s end, brief bursts of decontextualized dialogue shouted by each of the women around a table. Then we jump back to eight hours earlier. Most of the day unfolds like a regular episode of Salt Lake City. There’s some processing of the evening before’s outburst, which had given us this Heather Gay gem:

We move linearly for a bit. The women go shopping. When they’re done, the stormy sky appears again. We then do a one-hour time jump into the future, when Heather receives an apparently Very Important Phone Call. This scene was teased at the very beginning of the season. It basically features producers and the camera crew scrambling into Heather’s room in the Bermuda vacation home where this is all going down, and Heather promptly kicking them all out. We catch snippets of disbelief from Heather over whatever she’s hearing on the phone but not much else. Heather kicks the crew out of her room. Then the screen reads FOUR HOURS LATER. This episode could be used as a word problem on a math test teaching children how to track time. WOULD YOU PASS?

At this point, the women are sitting down for the dinner teased at the beginning of the episode. In the words of Scheana Shay, it’s all happening. But what IS it?! Because at first, the dinner is pretty regular Housewives fodder. Someone proposes a game, as these women are wont to do. There are two kinds of games played in the Housewives universe: games where everyone is supposed to reveal how they like to fuck and games where everyone tells each other what they dislike about each other. Both are equally erotic if you ask me. This game is of the latter category. Heather has placed effigies resembling each of the women in front of everyone. They have to take turns asking the person whose effigy they have to answer an “unsolved mystery” about them. These women have a very loose grip on what a mystery is.

But it doesn’t really matter, because this is all ruse! When it’s Heather’s turn, she turns to Monica. Monica was Salt Lake City‘s latest rookie Housewife this season, and she honestly made quite the splash throughout, unfiltered in her testimonials, frequently coming for the more veteran wives, introducing who might be the new reigning Bad Mom of Bravo via her mother, and down for a fun time. But oh how that splash was about to become a tsunami.

We then jump to TWO HOURS before this, back to Heather on the beach like the episode’s opening. So that places us two hours before dinner and two hours after Heather received that phone call I think? Math has never been my strong suit. Heather, wearing what I can only describe as an Ancient Greek toga and very large sunglasses, summons the cast members who have been on the show since season one: Meredith, Lisa, and Whitney. She reveals to them that Monica is the person behind Reality Von Tease, an Instagram gossip account that was used to take down former cast member Jen Shah but that also has spread rumors about all of these women. We’re treated to a series of flashbacks as Heather, Sherlock Holmes of our time, details how she was able to unravel this reveal. Parts of Monica’s story didn’t add up. She used multiple last names at Heather’s med spa salon Beauty Lab and had unpaid balances. She also seemed to use information on the other Wives as currency (to be fair, they all do that, so this is hardly a damning allegation). Things came to a head when Heather’s hairstylist Tanesha, also apparently part of Reality Von Tease, turned on Monica and exposed her, resulting in that phone call. Flashbacks within flashbacks! Oh, we’re cooking.

The whole scene looks like Big Little Lies, the wind and Meredith’s oversized shawl practically supporting characters:

Now, we’re back at the dinner. The setup. All the women (minus newcomer Angie, who Heather didn’t include in the beachside convention) know the truth. And Heather is about to expose it. She accuses Monica of being Reality Von Tease. She initially denies it, before admitting it’s true but not entirely true. Housewives and their semantics. She claims to just be one of the people behind Reality Von Tease; it’s a collective. She also claims she only contributed to the takedown of Jen Shah, scammer of the elderly, and did not participate in any ridicule or rumor-spreading when it came to the other women. Heather suggests Monica infiltrated the group, applying to be on the show so she could further dig up dirt and humiliate the rest of them.

The whole time, Monica largely keeps her cool while the women hurl words of disdain her way. Real Housewives franchises often have villain arcs for characters, but I cannot recall any other instance of a SECRET VILLAIN. And that’s exactly how all this unfolds: Monica is giving secret villain! She’s giving Evil All Along! Certainly, there have been Housewives who have turned out to be Very Bad, like the aforementioned scammer of elders as well as others with unsavory business liaisons. But someone who has specifically haunted the Housewives themselves in secret and anonymously for a long period of time? This is a new type of villain reveal for these shows.

As a villain hidden in plain sight, she’s really channeling my favorite Erika Jayne quote of all time:

Monica likens herself to Gossip Girl (I need a hat that reads “Even Gossip Girl couldn’t stay Gossip Girl forever” STAT), but the women react to all this as if she’s actually Ghostface removing her mask after a killing spree. Housewives live and die by their reputations, by their social status. Plenty of gossip accounts exist around the periphery of the shows, and while they aren’t really supposed to break the fourth wall while filming, the veil of reality TV is a fickle shroud as wind swept as the shawls worn by the women at this dinner. Sometimes, and increasingly recently, the veil lifts. By arguing about Monica as Reality Von Tease, the Real Housewives are arguing both about artifice and about something that feels very real to them. They’re appalled that someone who has participated in the gossip about their storylines on the show could somehow work her way into living amid that gossip.

I said earlier that this hits better than Scandoval, and I mean it. I think there’s a key different in production. Scandoval news broke outside of filming. In fact, the season was pretty much wrapped when it was leaked to the press that Tom Sandoval cheated on long-time girlfriend Ariana with fellow cast member Raquel. Production then picked the cameras back up to film the cast reckoning with the aftermath, and while it was raw, unbridled drama, it was also largely reactionary to viewer discourse that was already happening. We knew what was coming before we watched. Editing tried to heighten certain moments, but it was all, well, ultimately a little flat and contrived! There were juicier moments from earlier in the season, filmed before the news broke but airing after so that there was a level of dramatic irony. When Raquel asked Ariana about her sex life with Tom, we all recoiled, knowing Raquel was already sleeping with him even if Ariana didn’t yet.

Monica’s identity as Reality Von Tease, however, stayed in the vault rather than leaking to the press mid-season. None of us knew what was coming. The construction of the episode — from the camerawork to the editing — is genuinely thrilling. All those flash forwards and flashbacks! Dramatized storm effects! The WIND and the SHAWLS.

behind the scenes pic of Martin Scorsese on set, filming the #RHOSLC finale pic.twitter.com/nJxoPoKCvA

— Ryan (@ryanntweets_) January 3, 2024

The times when the Real Housewives shows are the most thrilling are the times when they’re most narratively evocative of soap operas. Much like daytime soaps, when it comes to Housewives, we’re following the same “characters” for a very long time — over a decade, in many cases. Salt Lake City is in its nascent stages compared to more long-running franchises, but it has resembled a soap from its start, from the weird lighting everywhere in Utah seems to have to the fact that it opens with a Housewife who is married to her step-grandfather. A secret villain reveal is the stuff of soap operas. So is a mysterious black eye, which was one of Heather’s unsolved mysteries of last season. That finally gets answered here in the season four finale, too. When confronting Monica, Heather finally comes forward and says she spent over a year on book tour protecting Jen by not telling people it was her who gave Heather the black eye last season. A flashback (another flashback!) here reveals just how obvious that truth was all along, but I think we were all understandably in denial about the fact that one Housewife would literally assault another during filming…even if it’s technically something we’ve seen before. The Monica reveal is entertaining; the black eye reveal is disturbing. And not even just because the incident happened in the first place but because Heather has indeed been adamant she didn’t remember how it occurred.

If you’re reading this and don’t watch these types of shows, maybe the drama of the Monica reveal sounds inane; maybe it sounds confounding; maybe it sounds thrilling. I think all are correct responses. Watching reality television, as I write about frequently in these Bravo Dyke missives, is a complex viewing experience. People are exploited; their worst tendencies come out; whole lives are ruined. On the one hand, it’s easy to be sympathetic to the other women on Salt Lake City who have been unknowingly fraternizing with a woman who has, either directly or passively, spread rumors about them online and perhaps even surveilled them prior to joining the show herself. On the other hand, their reaction is so outsized, too, so myopic. To them, the greatest crime a person can commit is trolling anonymously online. To them, interpersonal betrayal is akin to being a killer in a slasher movie. They accuse Monica of invading their privacy, but how much privacy does one really have when signing up to be on a reality television program?

Real Housewives is supposedly slice-of-life reality television, but it’s viewed best when viewed as a game. Monica easily won the season, though I’m sure the other women would prefer the narrative that they banded together and briefly put their differences aside to confront an infiltrator. The truth is, this season would have been nothing without its secret villain click clacking her acrylic nails to fire off anonymous posts in the shadows. This drama is juicy precisely because it’s kind of silly! There’s no affair, no criminal conspiracy. This is Gossip Girl fluff, but it has ruffled their feathers in such ways so as to make it feel as if the stakes are mob-movie high.

There is no real-life counterpart for this drama, not really. I guess it’d be as if someone who was anonymously spreading negative rumors about your friend group then suddenly became a member of your friend group? Has that happened to you? If so, I want to hear about it! But in general, I think the Salt Lake City finale’s villain reveal entertains because it doesn’t feel real, because it’s something so specific to reality television and the secondary texts like the blogs, social media posts, and tabloid headlines it spawns. The words “Reality Von Tease” don’t hold much meaning for anyone on the outside. But to the women, it’s the boogeyman who has haunted them.

While it seems like every other Bravo show is scrambling to participate in the spectacle of affairs that made Scandoval so appealing to viewers, this is a twist that cannot really be replicated. “Housewives is camp” gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes erroneously. But I think it’s difficult to deny the camp of this finale.

“Good Trouble” Episode 511 Recap: Imagining the Past, Looking to the Future

Last month, Freeform announced that Good Trouble‘s fifth season would be its last. With the first half of the season having already aired in the Spring of 2023, the remaining nine episodes would be Good Trouble‘s swan song. It also means, barring some last minute deal with Hulu or new spin-off announcement, the end of our time with the Adams Fosters. A decade in the Fosters-verse and it’s over, just like that.

“Both Good Trouble and The Fosters have shaped me into the person I am today. It was been one of the greatest privileges of my life to play a character on a show for 10+ years that has helped get important conversations started and pushed for transformative change in the world and has inspired people to be themselves,” Cierra Ramirez (AKA Mariana) wrote following news of the show’s cancellation.

Cancellations are always hard but, in a moment where the commitment to diverse representation at all levels seems to be waining, this loss stings even more. Good Trouble was that show — is that show — that offered space for so many voices that don’t get to see themselves represented in media. It should be regarded, alongside Pose and The L Word, as one of the queerest shows ever on television.

I’m going to try to savor these last episodes and mourn the loss of this show. But also? I want to celebrate of decade of queer greatness and be grateful that we got 10 seasons of watching Callie and Mariana Adams Foster grow.

Mariana returns home to the Coterie from Dennis’ party, with her heart pounding from an anxiety attack and her face wet with tears. She finds Silas, the vengeful, abusive cult leader, standing in her loft. He apologizes for his henchman’s actions. Mariana is, understandably, skeptical and grips a nail file in her left hand, in case she has to defend herself. Silas insists that he’s only interested in helping the women at the farm heal from their childhood traumas. He only wants to hasten the suffering of those who, like Mariana, have been abandoned by a parent.

He persists, recounting details of Mariana’s life like he watched the entire run of The Fosters, and it’s so unsettling. Mariana yells at Silas to get out and he does but not before assuring Mariana that he sees her. The moment the door closes behind him, Mariana rushes to secure the locks…but then, seconds afterwards, Joaquin knocks and calls out from the other side.

“Did you see him? Is he still out there?” a clearly shaken Mariana asks. But Joaquin didn’t see anything or anyone and the interaction leaves Mariana convinced the she hallucinated it all.

The next day, Malika approaches Mariana with a request: She’s invited Isaac to move into her loft at the Coterie as he’s works through his recovery and asks if she can crash in Mariana’s loft in the interim. Mariana agrees and I am thrilled. Mariana needs this — the absence of a true friend in Mariana’s life since Callie’s departure has only left her more vulnerable — and, frankly, the show needs it too. Good Trouble thrives when it focuses on its chosen family and invests its energy in building the relationships between those characters (i.e., Alice and Malika, Gael and Davia) but, as I lamented during the midseason finale, that’s been missing lately. I hope that this is a harbinger of good things to come.

Mariana finagles an appointment with a therapist and finally has the opportunity to talk to someone about the trauma that she’s experienced. Unfortunately, even within the safe confines of therapy, Mariana refuses to be honest about what she’s experienced. She admits to being anxious and “having dreams that feel real,” but doesn’t acknowledge the panic attack she experienced or doing any self-care in the wake of the shooting. It’s clear that Mariana’s invested all her energy in ensuring that Evan recovers — from overseeing his medical treatment to shepherding his company through his absence — and now that he is, ostensibly, back, Mariana doesn’t have anything to distract her from feeling the weight of her own trauma.

Rather than leaving her settled, the therapy appointment leaves Mariana frayed and when Joaquin brushes against those frayed edges — by suggesting she tell the truth in her sessions — Mariana lashes out. He should go to therapy, she suggests, and figure out why he thinks he knows everything about everyone. Mariana retreats back into her loft and is greeted by Malika and her stuff…and it’s all just too much. She lashes out at Malika for the mess and then collapses onto her bed. She apologizes and Malika presses her about her reaction. She confesses to having a panic attack and that she came home to find Silas in her loft…or, she thinks she did…she doesn’t really know if he was real or a hallucination. At Malika’s suggestion, they check the security footage from the Coterie lobby for signs of Silas and find nothing.

“So, he was never here,” Malika determines.

“That’s good news,” Alice notes.

“Yeah, but the bad news is I really am losing my mind,” Mariana confesses.

She returns to the therapist’s office the next day and admits that she had an anxiety attack after Dennis’ party. She talks about imagining Silas in her loft and recounts the personal history that he seemed to know. Her therapist tries to comfort Mariana with the knowledge that what she’s experiencing isn’t unusual: lots of trauma victims process their feelings through hallucinations, especially if self-blame is involved. She assures Mariana that she’s not losing her mind at all; instead, her mind is just trying to help her process her feelings. Mariana breaks down and, with tears streaming down her face, finally acknowledges how close she came to death.

Mariana returns to the Coterie looking lighter than we’ve seen her in months and, again, apologizes to Malika for the way she behaved. She assures Malika that she’s glad she’s staying with her for a while — she needs her — and Malika corrects her: They need each other. But unbeknownst to Mariana, Silas sits at a computer somewhere across town, requesting background information on Joaquin from a private investigator…the same investigator who provided a deep dive into Mariana’s history. Then, he picks up Mariana’s Callie doll — a doll that she kept on the mantle of her loft — and toys with it as he recalls his visit to the Coterie…including his narrow getaway, down the fire escape.

Do I still hate the way this cult story has subsumed the tone of Good Trouble, like B613 did with Scandal? Yes. Do I wish that the show would find a way to hasten its end? Also, yes. That said, thanks in large part to an incredible performance by Cierra Ramirez, we’ve finally arrived at a point where I truly feel invested in this storyline — Threatening Mariana Adams-Foster? Not today, Satan! — and I can’t help but wonder what took so long for us to get here. This story needed to be anchored in a character that we cared about, not this Coterie newcomer and his sister…and now that it is, I wonder how we’re going to resolve all this before the show’s finale.

Good Trouble Coterie Sundries

+ Isaac moves into Malika’s loft and the two settle into an easy rapport. The flirting is effortless and the tension is, at times, palpable. It’s easy to remember why I liked them together (though, admittedly, less so now because of the IRL stuff). At dinner with the Coterie fam, they toast Isaac’s return and Kelly wonders if his move means they’re getting serious. Malika insists that they’re not back together and later, when the two are alone, they reaffirm a commitment to being just friends; the focus of his time at the Coterie, Malika insists, has to be about recovery. I don’t know if this promise will last — they still have undeniable chemistry — but I hope it does…in part because I think the Malika that Isaac fell in love with is not the same Malika we know today. And also because Malika’s still not over Angelica.

+ The network calls Alice in and, thanks to her viral campaign, they’re agreeing to renew America’s Funniest Ferrets & Friends for one more season. There is one condition, though: They want Alice to run the writers’ room. Alice demures, at first — she’s the new girl after all — but the network executive makes it clear that either Ferrets returns with Alice at the helm or the show doesn’t return at all.

+ Last we saw Luca and Gael, they were affixing Gael’s #transparent mural to a spot high enough to avoid it being painted over. But as they’re finishing up, the cops show up and chase the pair in opposite directions. Gael manages to escape but Luca gets cornered, facing arrest and possible deportation. But mercifully, a garbage truck interjects itself between Luca and the cops at precisely the right moment, giving Luca the opportunity to escape. He returns to the Coterie and, as they share an embrace, Luca and Gael both breathe a sigh of relief. They promise to never do something that dangerous again.

+ Boy, Good Trouble really does love a love triangle, don’t they? Now it’s Luca’s turn to be subjected to the most overused plot device on the show. On the one end, he’s got Riley, a girl in his dance class with whom he’s smitten, and on the other, there’s Mabel, the adorable sous chef who works alongside Luca at Dennis’ restaurant. Luca is his most candid when he’s with Mabel — he tells her about his money issues and history of being unhoused, while keeping that from Riley — but he’s oblivious to her interest. I hope they give Riley some more complexity so that the triangle doesn’t seem quite so one-sided…and so I don’t grow to resent Luca for not choosing Mabel when it seems so obvious that she’s the better fit.

Next Week: Guess who’s back!

Boobs on Your Tube: Raising Kanan Has One of the Best Teen Lesbians on TV, When Will People Pay Attention

It’s somehow already (or “it’s somehow finally” depending on your perspective on things) the last Friday of 2023!! Hope that hazy week between Christmas and New Years has been treating you well, let’s see what’s been going on.

First, ’tis the season — and by that we mean ’tis the season for Carol fans. Drew and Kayla celebrated by recounting how Carol finds the kink in age gaps for their latest “Anatomy of a Queer Sex Scene.” If you prefer your gay Christmas with 100% more cheese and ugly sweaters than Cate Blanchett and a dry martini, Sai has you covered. She watched Hallmark’s Friends and Family Christmas (their first with a main lesbian couple!) and promises it’s the cheese holiday romance that sapphics deserve. In honor or its Christmas Day release, Carmen did a research deep dive into over 40 years of history on The Color Purple’s lesbian kiss.

And here’s what else!

Notes from the TV Team: 

+ Good Trouble returns on January 2nd for what I believe will be its final batch of episodes. Get ready to say goodbye to Mariana, the Coterie, and the Adams-Foster Mamas one last time! I bet we’re gonna need some tissues! — Carmen

Raising Kanan 304: “In Sheep’s Clothing”

Written by Carmen

I’ve long said that Jukebox is the heartbeat of Raising Kanan. It’s a bit of a double-edged sword when you think about it. Being the heartbeat means that the audience cares more about you, the mess and gunk of who you are, than most other characters. But often that care comes from having seen the character at their worst; it means that writers know they can put the character through the ringer and audiences will root for them to make it through to the other side time and time again.

As a Black teen masc lesbian, it’s rare for a character like Jukebox to be “the heart” and fan favorite of a series, but also it’s simultaneously… not rare for a Black masc lesbian on television to end up in a world of pain. And few have seen pain like Jukebox. I spent most of this week’s Raising Kanan, which for the first time seemingly in forever met Jukebox with good news, holding my breath for the other shoe to drop. By the time I realized that the sun was finally going to shine on Juke’s face after all, it was basically time for the end credits to roll.

It turns out that Jukebox did not ruin her audition last week (a national call to join an up-and-coming girls’ group), despite her Uncle Lou not showing up with her music at the last minute. Of course Juke, well aware at this point of her bad luck, has already signed up for a medical examination to join the army as a way to get out of Queens. They keep returning to this plot as a last ditch effort for her, and I’m starting to get nervous its foreboding nature. But for now at least, we’re saved from it — because the same music manager who waived Jukebox off the stage last week, is at her front door.

Once Jukebox invites the manager inside, her dad, Marvin, has some questions. First of all, he doesn’t want Jukebox joining any group that won’t accept her for who she is. I love this character development of Marvin going from a fuck up of a father (and deeply homophobic) to being Juke’s greatest protector? It’s new on him, but the suit fits well. Anyway, the manager promises that she wants Jukebox for exactly the package she already comes in. Every member of the group will have a lane: a diva, a girl next door, and a tomboy. The tomboy? That’s our Juke.

Kanan finds out about his cousin’s success and adorably swoops in the next afternoon to treat her to a night out on the city (at B. Smith’s restaurant! PEAK 90s Black Bougie Excellence!!) using his own burgeoning drug money — though Jukebox doesn’t know about the drug money part quite yet. At first she turns Kanan down, after all it’s better not to count chickens before they hatch. But Kanan beams, he asks her: How rare is it for someone from where they grew up to be given a blessing like this? They are given so few opportunities to celebrate wins, and he is of her. Usually I’m no fan of Kanan’s, but his love for his cousin is so pure, it’s hard not to see their innocence in each other’s eyes. And on this point Kanan is right, in the brief time that we we’ve known her, Jukebox has survived: her girlfriend’s overdoes, brutal homophobic responses to her coming out from both of her parents, and the death of her mentor. She deserves this one good thing.

Ahem, one good thing might turn out to be two good things. When Juke shows up to practice to meet her group mates (according to their new manager, their name will be “Butta” — and again I must say, PEAK 90s!!), she is met with quite the surprise. Her new singing partners? The self-centered “diva” know-it-all from the bathroom on her audition day, along with the sweet, shy girl who shared a mint with her after she threw up from nerves in said bathroom.

For sure at least one of those girls is about to be Jukebox’s new love interest. I can’t wait to find out who.

Boobs on Your Tube: The Season Two Finale of “Rap Sh!t” Is Jonica Booth’s Best Performance to Date

Happy two days until Christmas Eve! Let’s see about some TV!

We are still updating our streaming archives, and this week Riese has Apple TV+’s Best TV Shows With Queer Characters! Stef reflected on how Fellow Travelers flattens history. Natalie watched Netflix’s docuseries Under Pressure, which re-centers what you thought you knew about the World Cup and the USWNT. Don’t miss the first look at Kristen Stewart’s new bodybuilder love story that Kayla described as the embodiment of “Be Gay, Do Crimes.” Kayla also wrote about climate activist thriller How To Blow Up a Pipeline is actually her favorite Christmas movie. And Carmen worked through her complicated emotions on queerness and the new The Color Purple.

(No spoilers here but: did you watch the Survivor finale yet?)

We’re also wrapping up our End of Year Culture Lists (there’s 1-2 more next, week, but they won’t be tv/film focused), so please don’t forget to check out:

• The Best Movies of 2023 According to Autostraddle Readers
• 9 of the Best Queer Animation Wins of 2023
• The 25 Best TV Shows of 2023 with Lesbian, Queer and Trans Characters brought to you lovingly by your TV Team!

And here’s what else!

Notes from the TV Team: 

+ In Raising Kanan this week, Jukebox is busy preparing for her big audition (a national call to join a girl group), in the process restoring her strained relationship with both her dad and her Uncle Lou. Unfortunately in the end, her dad is still there for her but Uncle Lou? A drunk incident ends with him in lock up the day of the audition. He had her music with him, so Jukebox ends up ruining her audition, another break in her growing up to be the villain we all know she will one day become. — Carmen

+ My (queer) friend Alyssa made a sweet gay Christmas short film called Paper Planes and you can watch it now. Highly recommend taking 15 minutes to feel some queer joy. — Valerie Anne

Rap Sh!t 208: “Under Construction”

Written by Natalie

After retreating to Maui following Lord AK’s self-immolation, Francois Boom returns this week and finally delivers on one of his promises: a studio session with Pardison “Pardi” Fontaine. Personally, I don’t trust Francois or anyone who’d fumble the bag with Meghan Thee Stallion, so already I’m skeptical about how this session is ’bout to go. But, by the end of their session, they’ve got the framework of their new hit single, “BBW (Bad Bitch Working),” and Shawna and Mia leave excited about the future.

Things only get better for the duo as they sit down with Alex and Chastity to hear the terms of a would-be deal with Red Bull. It sounds ideal to Shawna — full creative control and ownership of their masters, with access to all of Red Bull’s resources — but when it comes to the money, Alex is short on specifics, which leaves Mia (rightfully) skeptical. Alex promises to talk to the label and get back to the girls by next week. But later, when Francois calls Shawna with an update about the new song, he’s not thrilled to hear that the girls are negotiating with Red Bull and still working with Chastity. He throws down an ultimatum: either they follow his plan — which includes taking this new song to the head of Def Jam — or they can go with Red Bull and Chastity.

To their credit, Shawna and Mia’s first instinct is to go with Red Bull and Chastity, but if they have to sacrifice the Pardi record, they want some sort of advance from Red Bull. They call Chastity and press her for details about the Red Bull deal. She promises to find out and then overplays her hand… badly. First, she calls Alex repeatedly when she knows the A&R executive is stuck in meetings and then seeks her out in person. Chastity invites herself to a meeting between Alex and her boss, Kirk, hoping to finalize Shawn and Mia’s deal by going directly to the man in charge.

Chastity admits that there’s another deal on the table but insists that if Red Bull can step up, she’ll make it happen. Kirk is reluctant about breaking in a new group, but Chastity assures him that he’ll recoup his investment in no time. Somehow, she manages to secure the bag for Shawna and Mia, even though it means burning a bridge with Alex. When she delivers the news to the girls, Chastity doesn’t get the response she was hoping for: Shawna and Mia have decided to go with Francois.

Chastity sits across from them, stunned. She did everything they asked for, and still, they decided to turn on her. She’s exasperated by all she’s had to do, all she’s had to sacrifice, for them to just walk away now. The disbelief masks Chastity’s simmering rage and genuine hurt at the betrayal; it’s Jonica Booth’s best performance to date.

Chastity gets up, grabs her bag, and walks away. Later, as she sits and watches Shawna and Mia become exactly the type of stars they said they didn’t want to be, Chastity opts for a new path. Season 2 ends with Chastity sitting down with Shawna’s nemesis, Gat… and I’m gonna need season 3 ASAP.

Beacon 23 Episode 108: “Adamantine”

Written by Valerie Anne

Maybe someone smarter than me can tell me what the hell happened in this show.

Now, I tried to get you to not watch this show. But if you didn’t heed my warning, perhaps you, like me with my screeners, kept watching hoping for another hint at Aster’s queerness, or for things to start to make sense in general. Alas, neither really happened, and while the second part is subjective, the first is just a fact.

Since the ill-fated Coley episode, Aster has remembered that she was born on the Beacon and has always had a connection with the strange glow outside, the Artifact, and it almost seems to communicate with her. A strange cult that sort of centers around Aster and the glow infiltrates the Beacon, and the best thing to come of that is the arrival of Saldana, played by Jess Salgueiro.

Aster thinks Halan is also somehow connected to the glow, so Aster, Halan, and Aster’s AI Harmony prepare to go into the glow to investigate when one of the cult members, Keir, shoots her with some kind of pulse gun, knocking her back, and she hits her head and falls to the ground. Her head starts bleeding an alarming amount, and the life leaves her eyes. But then in her eyes there’s a glow, and she sees Halan sending her younger self toward her older self, and their hands glow when they reach out and touch each other.

The end.

Seriously, that’s how the season ends. There’s going to be a second season, but I can’t promise I’ll be seated for it, because it seems to me like they killed their only two queer characters. Though I can’t imagine they have a second season without Lena Headey? It remains to be seen. But not by me.

Survivor Season 45’s Finale Shows Us That Sometimes Winners Win

The finale of Survivor Season 45 was better than I thought it would be, to be honest!

After Tribal Council, Austin Li Coon forgives Dee Balladares for leaving him out of the Drew Basile vote almost immediately. It’s surprising and intriguing that Dee seems closer than ever with Austin after essentially stabbing him in the back. Dee owns her choices 100%, in such a way that to be disappointed with her seems illogical and even more so, not even a viable option. Everyone seems to feel that way about Dee — Austin most of all.

Except Katurah Topps, who for a while now has been saying they’ve got to get Dee out. Katurah and Dee seem to see each other; they are playing very different games, but they’re both playing very hard. Where Dee asserts her dominance and justifies it with unwavering confidence, Katurah keeps a low profile, making sure people always want to pull her in for a vote. And Katurah, it seems, can make everyone smile — she’s just fun to be around. I think sometimes we don’t like to admit that likeability is actually a huge factor in a game like Survivor. (Imagine being starving, exhausted, AND forced to hang out with someone annoying!)

But Katurah’s simmering strategy and playful charisma aren’t even my favorite thing about her. My favorite thing about Katurah is that she never, ever, ever gives up on herself.

But anyway, back to the episode! Through a convoluted series of tasks, Jake O’Kane secures an advantage to the second to last immunity challenge of the season — needless to say, a very valuable asset at this key moment. However, in the immunity challenge, Jake fumbles not once but twice with truly hard-to-watch brainfarts, ultimately losing the challenge to Austin.

It’s an immunity and reward challenge, so Austin gets to pick someone to bring with him. I thought he’d bring Dee, because, well, I think he’s in love with her, but he brings Jake! At the reward, Jake tells Austin about his idol, and people, you know what I always say, never tell anyone about your idol! I feel for Jake in this moment — he seems desperate to do something important in this game, but an underlying freneticism keeps pushing him toward unstrategic moves.

Back on the beach, with Julie Alley, Dee and Katurah, Katurah is campaigning hard to get out Dee. But Julie doesn’t want to; she wants to go to the end with Dee and Katurah, so that she can show that she kept her most important alliance in tact the whole time. So the gals seem to align on voting out Jake, because, well, why not.

When Austin and Jake return to camp, Austin immediately tells his wife friend Dee about Jake’s idol. So now Dee wants to vote Katurah, because Jake will in theory play the idol on himself. Things get increasingly scrambled at this point, and by the time we get to Tribal Council, I’m truly not sure who is voting for whom.

In the end, the votes are all over the place. Jake does play his idol: In a misguided attempt to make a flashy move, he plays it on Katurah, who is understandably completely thrown by this, because why on earth would you not tell her you’re gonna do that?? Katurah, Dee, Jake, and Julie all get one vote, and we know that Katurah, who had been set on voting Dee, changed her mind at the last second. Katurah votes for Julie instead of Dee, sending Julie home. It’s hard not to wonder, right then and there, if this was Katurah’s million dollar mistake.

On Julie’s way out the door, in a particularly poignant moment, she tells Katurah to go to law school. For this whole season, neither Julie nor Katurah has revealed that they are lawyers. But Julie sees in Katurah what we all see in Katurah: her biting tongue, her big picture thinking, and most of all, her indefatigable spirit. Of course she’d make a great lawyer.

Back at camp, chaos ensues over such a messy vote. Next thing we know, it’s time for the final immunity challenge of the season. As Jeff explains it to the remaining four contestants, Dee grins ear-to-ear; it’s a wildly difficult agility and balance challenge and, simply put, she knows she’s gonna win. And she does. It’s not even close. Just like that, Dee is in final three, like we always knew she would be.

With the new era of Survivor, final three is determined by fire-making. The winner of immunity chooses one person to take with them to Final Three, and the remaining two battle it out in fire making. At first, I didn’t like this change — Survivor is a social game, and then all the sudden, at arguably the most crucial moment, it becomes about… making fire???

That said, this was the first time I actually really liked this set up, because it highlighted how making fire is as much a skill as it is a manifestation — a will to get it freaking DONE when you really need to. Though she oscillates, it seems pretty clear that Dee will bring Austin to the end with her (in her mind, the honorable choice at the end of an honorably played game). So Katurah and Jake will make fire.

At first Katurah is overwhelmed and scared — who wouldn’t be! Your whole fate rests on some twigs and flint. But, like she always does, she steels herself:

“But, I am Katurah. And I can usually do things that I don’t know how to do or that I find difficult.”

She prepares herself to fight as hard as possible for herself, like she’s done throughout this season and, so it seems, her whole dang life. She knows she has a low chance of winning. But goddammit if she isn’t gonna try her hardest anyway.

At Tribal, Dee does in fact choose Austin, and Jake and Katurah go to fire. Also, it’s worth noting that neither Austin nor Dee wanted to be next to Katurah at Final Three, because she’s such a good storyteller and played such a unique game, so Austin essentially tutored Jake on making fire. And apparently the fire lessons paid off, because Jake wins. It’s heartbreaking to watch Katurah go home so close to the end.

She gives a beautiful and heartbreaking monologue where she finally tells the whole jury that actually she is a lawyer, and in real life, she’s very planned and meticulous. But she wanted to try to play this game just as Katurah, leading with her heart. I teared up!! Good for you, Katurah!!

After one last night at camp, we’re at Final Tribal. It’s pretty clear that it’s between Austin and Dee, because unfortunately, Jake isn’t able to deliver, which sadly feels like his theme for the season. Kellie Nalbandian wants to “see Dee and Austin go at it,” and frankly Kellie, I agree!!!

And they really do. It’s a gorgeous, passionate, charged verbal show-down between two people that played great games, who also may want to marry each other one day. For a while, it almost looks like Austin is gonna win because to be honest, he’s a great talker! And Dee is shooting herself in the foot now and then, talking about luck when she should be talking about the fact that she had an iron-clad grip on every freaking vote in this season.

But financial analyst Emily Flippen makes sure we know who the winner is — she asks about the very vote that got her out. Austin confidently explains that even though he told Dee they were voting Julie (which everyone told him not to do), she never told Julie so it didn’t impact his game at all. And that’s when we see, in real-time, Dee reveal that actually she HAD told Julie. And Julie did exactly what Dee told her to do. I’m sorry Austin, you got played! What I love about this moment is Austin’s reaction — he smiles, almost coyly, almost like he’s proud of Dee. Because damn, that’s amazing.

When the votes come in, Austin gets three, and Dee gets the remaining five. Like I said so early on, this game was seemingly always Dee’s to win, and she won it. In some ways, it’s almost boring because it’s predictable. But when I really reflect on it, it’s anything but. Dee won with strength, strategy, and social finesse, all while cleaving to her morals and without making a single enemy. She fell into a showmance, and she managed to both keep that relationship in tact, AND not let it affect her strategy! She outfitted, outlasted, and outplayed every single person, and never even got a single finger (or toe) dirty. Well done.

What did you think of the Survivor finale and this season overall? Let me know in the comments!

Boobs on Your Tube: In the Spirit of the Season, “Rap Sh!t” Gives Unto Us Some Very Hot Sex

Happy Friday! One of the last ones of the year!

It’s technically only tangentially TV/film related, but did you catch Reneé Rapp and Megan thee Stallion’s new single off the upcoming Mean Girls soundtrack, and it certainly is hella gay. Some of the biggest news in queer television this week comes from Survivor — where queer contestant Katurah Topps first won Anya’s heart and is now looking like might win the entire show! British sitcom Such Brave Girls premiered today on HULU in the US, and Kayla found it to be a super queer discomfort comedy at its finest. Drew and Riese got high together and watched Round and Round, Hallmark’s new Hanukkah, and yes the sister is a lesbian! Kayla would like bring your attention back around to The Handmaiden, it has more sex scenes than you remembered.

It’s still End of Year Culture Lists season and here’s what our team rounded up this week:

• The Best Queer TV Scenes of 2023 by the TV Team
• The Best Queer Movie Scenes of 2023 by the TV Team
• The Best Queer Movies of 2023 by Drew Burnett Gregory

Notes from the TV Team: 

+ Last week, I neglected to note that Sort Of, the groundbreaking series from Bilal Baig and Fab Filippo, wrapped up its third and final season on CBC Gem. We’ll have more on the show when it debuts stateside in the new year, but I wanted to acknowledge how sad I am to see it end. The show was a persistent reminder that we’re all transitioning, sort of. I’ll miss it so much and can’t wait to see what’s next from Baig. — Natalie

+ For our UK readers: Vigil, the hit British procedural starring Suranne Jones, returned for its second series this week. Amy Silva (Jones) and Kirsten Longacre (Rose Leslie) are called in to determine what caused an Air Force weapons test to go horribly wrong. Though their investigations keep them separated for most of the series’ opening episodes, Amy and Kirsten are still together and are having a baby! I’ll have more on the show when the new season debuts on Peacock. — Natalie

Rap Sh!t 207: “No Parking”

Written by Natalie

In Rap Sh!t‘s second season, we’ve gotten the opportunity to see our protagonists more intimately… more engaging with Mia, Shawna, and Chastity directly, less stunting for fans on Instagram. But this week, the show pivots back to its original form: with our two emcees spitting freestyles over IG Live and engaging with their fans. The format change is abrupt but it signals a change in fortune for the duo; now, they’re back on the grind.

First things first, though: a team meeting. The emcees meet with their manager at the local Checkers and lament that their career’s been stagnant since returning home from tour. Shawna admits that Francois hasn’t returned her calls while Mia confesses that Lamont isn’t being responsive to requests for studio time or new beats. Convinced that Chastity can make stuff happen, they urge her to focus less on pimping and more on managing their fledgling careers. Chastity acquiesces and promises to make a play… starting with hitting up Alex, the flirtatious rep that she met at the Billboard party.

Chastity doesn’t have to try hard: Alex (Brittany S. Hall) invites her to an exclusive Red Bull party and quickly introduces Chastity to her boss. Chastity charms him instantly and Alex… well, Alex looks like she’s ready for a one-on-one afterparty. The thirst! Before they get there, though, Alex and Chastity stop by a dive bar and get to know each other better. Alex is a grown ass woman, ready to take charge and unafraid to ask for what she wants, and it’s clear that Chastity doesn’t really know what to do with that. Alex asks the Duke directly if she’s in a relationship and the normally unflappable manager stumbles to find an answer. Chastity shifts the conversation to safer ground — music and what Alex might be able to do for Shawna and Mia — until they’re interrupted by Melody… a girl who Chastity once tried to recruit to be part of her stable. Chastity scrambles to mask the conversation with Melody — to not give away how she earns her money — but, to my dismay, Alex is undeterred.

Later, Chastity walks Alex to her door and thanks her for all her help. Alex isn’t ready for the night to be over quite yet, though; she invites Chastity inside to talk more and share a drink. Chastity pauses at the door, seemingly wondering if she should mix business with pleasure, but ultimately decides to follow Alex inside. Alex pulls out the tequila and Chastity salts her hand before taking her shot… but then Alex shoots her own shot: sensuously licking the salt off Chastity’s hand. They drop all the pretense and give into the tension that’s been building all night.

The scene that follows is, in a word, hot. Rivaling some of the best sex scenes from The L Word. Admittedly, as a critic, it feels uncouth sometimes to focus on sex scenes… but seeing two black women have sex on-screen remains exceedingly rare. And two black women in an explicit sex scene not directed/written by Lena Waithe? Even rarer. It’s a beautiful thing.

And hot. Did I mention it was hot?

Raising Kanan 302: “Flipmode”

Written by Carmen

I can already tell that recapping this season of Raising Kanan is going to come with some narrative difficulties. Detective Burke was murdered last episode, and she served as a connective tissue between the show’s two lesbian plots at any given minute. Burke had her own love life, but she was also a (manipulative) mentor to Jukebox, Raising Kanan’s central lesbian teen. In fact, Burke’s inappropriate relationship with Juke is mentioned by her captain as one of the reasons Burke found herself under IA investigation.

Jukebox hangs outside the church of Burke’s funeral, a personal goodbye to what was likely the only other gay person she knew. And I recognize that, despite their complicated relationship (after all, Burke only “befriended” Jukebox because she realized she could use their mutual gayness to her advantage, she was trying to lock up Juke’s entire family), Jukebox is a lost gay teen who has suffered far too much loss in her life. Her girlfriend died in Season One, her mother died at the end of Season Two, and now in first episodes of Season Three she’s forced to say goodbye again.

Leaving Burke’s service, Jukebox heads directly to an Army Recruitment Center. She will do literally anything to get out of Queens. I don’t know if the commentary was on purpose, but I was touched that Raising Kanan is highlighting the ways that army recruitment often takes advantage in poor communities and communities of color; a dangling last resort of “hope” for people who feel like they have nothing else to lose or live for. Luckily when she returns home that night, Juke is surprised to see Nicole’s dad of all people drinking with her own father in the kitchen.

I’ll admit that having Nicole’s dad pop up like this, and becoming drinking pals with Marvin no less — I’ve loved Marvin’s redemption arc over the last two years, but I won’t forget his own violent reaction to learning about his daughter’s queerness — is a bit of a stretch. However, I love where we land here, so I’ll briefly allow it. Nicole’s dad has been watching the taped recording of Nicole and Jukebox singing at the mall, and he has a fancy recording industry golf buddy who is looking to start a girl group. He wants Jukebox to audition. He thinks its what Nicole would have wanted.

With Marvin’s encouragement and something else to cling to, Jukebox dodges army recruitment and finds herself at her Uncle Lou’s with her mother’s albums in hand. If she’s going to try for this, she’s going to need help.

Meanwhile, Burke’s girlfriend (I’ll catch her name next week, I promise!) is feeling some guilt now that Burke has died. Last week when the IA investigation began, she wanted nothing to do with her. This week she’s picking up the crumbs of where Burke left off. She also faces some HIGH KEY homophobia from Burke’s father, who blames Burke’s lesbianism for her supposed suicide (cruel under any circumstances, but especially so since we all know… Burke didn’t actually kill herself at all. It was a set up!). I think this is setting the stage for the next chapter of cat and mouse between the Stark family and the NYPD, so stay tuned for that!

Queer Contestant Katurah Topps Will Be in the Finale of Survivor Season 45

I can’t tell if this season of Survivor is exciting or kind of boring, which is an odd problem to have. And now, with only one episode left in the season, I still can’t decide.

The previous episode’s Tribal Council was in some ways exciting and in some ways, exactly as to be expected. Many folks were targeting Julie, and Dee gave her not only a heads up, but also a plan — Dee Valladares, like all the others, would also vote for Julie Alley, and Julie would play her idol to protect herself and send financial analyst Emily Flippen home. And at Tribal, every single person voted for Julie — except Julie, who played her idol, and as Dee dictated, sent Emily home with just one vote.

A blindside this clean usually feels so epic, and in some ways, it did! But on the other hand, things went exactly as Dee wanted and planned for them to go — which really, could be said for so much of this season. For a while now, it’s felt like Dee’s game to lose, and I’m not sure why no one on the show seems to realize just how wildly dominant she is. She’s got the absolute control of Tony Vlachos, wrapped in the flirty, femme veneer of Parvati Shallow, all masking the quiet, unrelenting focus of Sandra Diaz-Twine. She’s got winner written all over her, and no one seems to know.

After Julie’s Tribal Council, somehow no one can tell that Dee told Julie the plan, even though they have been extremely close the whole game. Dee does what the best liars on this show (and other reality competition shows like The Traitors) — she commits quickly, casually, and wholeheartedly to the lie before you can even question it. So that’s how that goes! Everyone seems to think Julie just got nervous and played her idol.

The next morning, Katurah Topps wakes up early to go idol hunting — this late in the game, an idol can be even more impactful than usual. Unfortunately Katurah doesn’t find an idol, and instead Austin Li Coon, after realizing she’s missing, finds her. Whoops! In moments like this, it really strikes me how Katurah never outwardly seems too stressed by this game’s shenanigans, and I love it. No matter what she’s feeling inside, she projects an air of calmness, almost like this whole situation is funny — which, don’t get me wrong, it is! I think this has helped her keep a low profile this long.

(Speaking of low profiles, it’s interesting to me that Katurah has gotten no votes this season — something which would be more impressive if Austin hadn’t also received no votes. And Dee has only gotten one vote — from Sean, before he basically excused himself from the show. There seem to be few “errant votes” in this season — when people vote, they’re either clearly in the majority, or in the second pick, but there are few random votes thrown around.)

At the reward challenge, Austin wins (shocker) and picks Dee to join him on the reward (shocker!), and then picks… Katurah (actual shocker!). Strategically, perhaps Austin sees Katurah as a potential swing vote, or honestly, perhaps he just thought she’d be the most chill person to bring on what he clearly wants to be his date with Dee lol. Katurah, relaxed queen that she is, couldn’t care less about being the third wheel — she’s basically like kids, enjoy yourselves!

love her

Dee and Austin seem pretty in love, and it’s honestly kind of crazy coming right after the season of Frannie Marin and Matt Blankinship. Is there something in the water?? I don’t know.

Back at camp, Jake O’Kane, Julie, and Drew Basile are understandably miserable, especially because Drew and Julie have no intention of working together so basically have nothing to say to each other. Jake decides it’s time for him to find an idol, and to his credit, he does just that. He has big plans to use the idol to beef up his relatively slim resume — we’ll see if he delivers.

The immunity challenge is new to Survivor, which I love. It’s my favorite kind of challenge: an endurance challenge (please reference Queen Parvati Shallow standing on a pole for like, six hours??? so then they had to change that challenge?!). Contestants must hold keep a balance beam level using only one foot. Remember earlier in the season when Dee was talking about how she has really strong toes? I do! The challenge becomes a showdown between Dee and Austin, which feels like both of their fantasies. Dee wins in the end, handily, seemingly able to continue doing this all day.

Back at camp, Drew and Austin are aligned on finishing what they started last Tribal Council, namely: voting out Julie. Dee, however, isn’t ready to get rid of her ally, and is considering turning on Drew instead. Mixed in with Drew being very confident in himself (I found it hard to watch; it seemed so clear that he was about to be so, so wrong), is Dee debating whether or not to tell Austin she plans to vote out his best boy.

In the end, at Tribal Council, there’s a brief moment of excitement, when Austin plays his amulet. But he uses it to protect himself, and then he goes on to receive zero votes. This move cemented Austin in my mind as, unfortunately, a pretty poor player when it comes to strategy; he gave away his first idol to Julie, who then saved herself, and then played his second on himself, when he didn’t need to. He could’ve used it to protect Drew and really shaken things up. It’s pretty anticlimactic to see someone with so many advantages go on to effectively not correctly use any of them. Womp womp!

So the votes come in, and once again, it’s exactly as Dee said it would be: two votes for Julie, and then four for Drew. It was an epic blindside, but again, how epic is something that can happen twice in a row?

The Katurah of it all remains interesting to me. I’m hoping she pulls off a big move going from final five to final four, or else I’m not sure what she can say is on her resume other than playing the middle extremely effectively. Personally, I think the biggest move would be getting out Dee. If Katurah can pull that off, she might have a shot at the million!

Survivor Season 45’s Queer Contestant Katurah Topps Has Won My Heart

Survivor 45’s queer contestant Katurah Topps has been a quietly strategic player throughout this season, but she’s gotten louder in the last couple episodes. And we’re all better for it.

At the start of this week’s episode, we see the tribe returning from the Tribal Council in which Bruce Perrault was sent home with an idol in his pocket (a brutal way to go tbh). Everyone — and I mean everyone — seems giddy at his departure, with such total ubiquity that I actually kinda felt bad. The only person still in the game who has been gunning for Bruce for ages is Katurah. Needless to say, she’s thrilled.

For this whole game, Katurah’s been positioning herself as non-threatening, namely by lying about her age (she’s 35, saying she’s 29) and her profession (she’s a civil rights attorney, saying she’s an office manager). Now, 20 days into a 26 game, after eliminating her personal nemesis, Katurah is feeling proud of herself and like she wants to tell her story. Sitting on the beach with Jake O’Kane and Julie Alley, she does just that.

Telling her story doesn’t mean revealing her true age or profession; in this moment, it means describing her childhood. Katurah reveals she was in a religious cult growing up and as such was taken out of school to be homeschooled when she was in 5th grade. Her parents did not continue homeschooling for long, and shortly after leaving school, Katurah was working three or four jobs to help support her family.

My jaw absolutely dropped when Katurah opened up about her past. The editors interlaced Katurah on the beach with a confessional, perhaps because her story is so severe it could almost seem fabricated, something someone would say on a game like Survivor to endear themself to a competitor. But no, this isn’t a lie or a cover-up; it’s Katurah’s life.

We got a sense of Katurah’s past in the previous episode, when she was a recipient of Letters From Home — perhaps the most sought after reward season after season, because there’s nothing as powerful as hearing from the people you love who you haven’t been able to communicate with for weeks. At the reward meal, Katurah shares that one of the letters has her particularly shaken up, because it was from her mom, whom she cut off communication with about a year ago. Katurah was confused and overwhelmed, understandably. How do you respond to hearing from someone you’ve cut off, on national television, through a reward meant to motivate you to play your hardest for the rest of an already extremely psychologically and physically demanding game?

Somehow, Katurah manages to explain her feelings to the other women on the reward. To open up then and there, to me, showed tremendous strength. She seemed to know this was simply too much to process alone, and despite how vulnerable sharing might make her, she did it. She was clear-headed and honest in a game that constantly urges people to abandon their humanity in the name of gameplay. She can obfuscate her age and her profession in order to advance her position in the game of Survivor, but this isn’t like that. The emotional intensity of this moment goes way the confines of the game, and that’s all because Katurah decided to let people in — the women on the reward with her, and more broadly, all of us watching at home.

Despite Katurah’s valiant attempt to process this turn of events, it was clear the letter got to her head (and who the heck can blame her!!!). In the following challenge, she seemed to narrowly evade a panic attack while trying to compete. You could see the fear building in her whole body. It was hard to watch, and I honestly felt relieved and proud of her when she took herself out of the challenge. Afterward, she couldn’t explain what came over her; it wasn’t a fear of water. My interpretation, and this really is just my opinion, is that she didn’t have enough time to process the emotional intensity of receiving communication from her mom, and it manifested in this near panic attack. That energy had to go somewhere, and this is where it went.

Only an episode later, we learn more about Katurah’s relationship with her mom, not because Katurah is forced, or caught, or compelled to tell us, but because she chooses to. And her story goes beyond being taken out of school and working several jobs; Katurah goes on to explain that when she turned 13, the cult’s religious leader decided Katurah would be his next wife (I know, it’s wild). This seemed to wake Katurah’s mom up. They packed their belongings into two trash bags and ran away from the cult in the middle of the night.

After leaving the cult, Katurah was 14 and returned to school. The school placed her in high school, because of her age, despite the fact she hadn’t been educated for the last several years. Katurah then worked extremely hard to catch up with her classmates. I honestly cannot even fathom how the heck a person can do that. She hadn’t been in school for several crucial years, and she didn’t let that stop her. Instead, she excelled: She graduated high school, college, and law school, and then became a freaking CIVIL RIGHTS LAWYER!!! I’m not gonna lie, at this point in Katurah’s story I was fully crying.

Perhaps the most emotional part of Katurah’s narrative came when she shared what she realized once she reentered school, at 14:

I realized I was Black, and I was poor, and I was a woman, and I was gay. And that is when I said, at like 14, I’m gonna become a lawyer who advocates for Black people.

After surviving a literal cult, Katurah reckoned with her complex, multi-faceted identity. To me, what’s so powerful in how Katurah tells her story is its wholeness: Katurah neither shies away from the difficult and scary parts of her story, nor justifies them as necessary for character growth. She seems to resist narrativizing what could easily be framed as a I-became-great-because-of-great-difficulty story. Katurah seems to, simply but also not simply at all, just tell it like it is. It seems that she strives neither for martyrdom nor victimhood. No, she strives for something much more elusive: selfhood.

Katurah is who she is because of and also not because of her past. She is who she is because she chooses to be herself. And I think that’s the strongest choice of all: to claim your selfhood in all its contradictions, all its messiness, all its beauty and all its terror. Not as a rebellion, not as a victory or as a defeat, but just as a state of being. Katurah shows us that a person’s life might have narrative elements, but a person is not a story; a person is a person.

The rest of the episode almost passed me by, because I was still thinking about everything Katurah just shared, so openly and generously. Throughout the season, Katurah seems relatively unfazed by the game’s twists and turns. She was annoyed by Bruce, but she always seemed entertained rather than scared. Similarly, she’s been in the minority — one of the last members of an ever-decreasing Belo tribe up against a seemingly always united Reba core four — for so much of the game, but never seems too pressed. Now, in the fourth quarter of the game, she’s turning up the heat. She’s socializing with everyone, without ever painting herself as the target, rallying folks to vote out Julie (a brilliantly strategic move until a spectacularly not brilliant judgment call made by Austin Li Coon, sound off in the comments plz).

I worry for Katurah in the next episode, as folks seem to have decided to keep Jake around longer than her. That said, if there’s anything I’ve learned about Katurah so far, it’s that whatever life throws at her, she handles. And she handles it all while being her full, strategic, compassionate self, and sharing that self with others around her.