We Joined REI To #OptOutside On Black Friday And It Was A Gay Ol’ Time!
Five years ago, REI started its #OptOutside initiative, which afforded employees of the co-op the day off on Black Friday and encouraged them — and every one of the co-op’s 18 million members and the entire community — to use the time to go outdoors and participate in their favorite activities (or try out a new one) while connecting with friends and family. The project isn’t just about enjoying the outdoors; it’s about leaving our planet better than how we found it. This year, Opt Outside continued to grow and evolve, becoming a full movement in the process — instead of choosing to make the world better for one day, REI invited its employees and customers to commit to making the world better, consistently, for an entire year. The push kicked off this Black Friday with nationwide cleanup events all across the country.
We had initially planned to attend one of the 120+ Opt Outside cleanup events that took place nationwide and welcome you to come along, but about a month ago, I suffered a pinched nerve from what I later found out was a degenerative condition in my spine. My doctors were unsure what kind of activities, if any, I’d be able to do with my body by the time Black Friday rolled around — so REI jumped to our rescue and encouraged us to just host a hangout outside. What’s queerer than bucking capitalism and spending the holidays with your found family?
Last Friday was one of the coldest days of the season so far, but the sun was shining and the sky was cloudless, so we hiked to the top of the Great Hill in Central Park, laid out some picnic blankets, and spent the afternoon with dizens of other queer folks — sharing cider and hot chocolate and coffee, tossing around a football, chatting about our favorite gay TV shows and books and movies, sharing stories about our families of origin and our found families and the holidays, and generally just enjoying being queer, together, in the great outdoors. They even sent us some water bottles, handkerchiefs, cups, and coupons to enjoy! (Don’t worry we also packed out everything we packed in and picked up any extra trash we spotted around our cozy little nook of nature in the middle of Manhattan.)
Here are some highlights from the day! (All photos by Meg Jones Wall.)
We left a little colder on the outside, but a lot warmer on the inside, and with a commitment to engage with Opt To Act, REI’s plan that includes 52 weeks of simple actions to make the world better.
Remembering Stonewall Was a Riot: It’s Time To Meet Up For Autostraddle Pride 2019!
It’s the 50th anniversary of Stonewall this year, and as we celebrate Pride 2019 I’d like us to remember two things: one, Stonewall was a riot, and two, we’re here on earth to take care of each other. The intersection of these statements — activism, community care, historical accuracy, pride not like a corporate rainbow but like I’m so fucking proud to come from this legacy — is where we want to live for Pride this year. And that’s where y’all come in.
We’re hosting Autostraddle Pride Meet-Up Month like we do every year, and we want you to come and bring your friends. Bring your roommates. Bring your new girlfriend, bring your cool mom. Bring your ex, bring your crush, bring your loves, bring your family. We’re celebrating 50 years since Stonewall, and we’re reckoning with how things are different now but also how some things are exactly the same. There is no better time than now to care for and about each other, and there is also no better time than now to organize.
As always, our IRL Meet-Ups could not happen without YOU! Autostraddle has always been about the readers and our community. What do you need right now? What do you want? We can talk about it in the comments! Here are some of my thoughts: Community organized Pride parties are rad. So are chill picnics in the park. Should we get together to raise funds for some on the ground abortion providers in Alabama and Georgia (and beyond)? You tell us. What’s the Pride meet-up of your dreams? Can you help host it? It can be small and low key or large and ambitious. Some things that I’m thinking about this year: How can we include as many people as possible in our community organizing? What is the accessibility at any event like? Do our elders feel welcome? Are kids welcome? Can we make some events sober spaces? Are we centering QPOC? Are we centering trans folks?
Tell me what you’re thinking about when it comes to Pride 2019! And if you’re able to host an event, here’s what to do:
- Submit to the Autostraddle events calendar
- Make a Facebook event (if you want to)
- That’s all!
Once you’ve submitted your event, we’ll add it to this very post and we’ll publicize it on our social media channels. If you take photos at the event and you want us to share them, tag them #AutostraddlePride2019 and we will!
Thank you, as always, for being here. Thank you for growing up with us in community. Corporate Pride be damned, we are grateful to be proud and meet-up with you every June. We love you – see you at the meet-ups!
We’ve Got Each Other: It’s Time To Meet Up For Autostraddle Pride 2018!
Well, it’s almost June, and you know what that means: PRIDE MONTH. But like, what does that mean, queerdos? We all know Stonewall was a riot. We all know that sometime between then and now the Pride parade has become…uh…not a riot. Now it’s more like a weird, beer-soaked, corporate capitalist endeavor that doesn’t even feel like it is for us, let alone created by us. Do I sound depressing? I’m sorry. It’s just that every year that goes by the whole idea of PRIDE MONTH becomes a little more confusing and elusive, and I’ve noticed fellow queers feeling the same fatigue when it comes to grappling with what Pride even means for us, the queer community.
So what are we gonna do about it this year? We’re gonna take Pride back! That’s fucking right! Here’s the plan.
We’ve got each other. No matter what else is going on, each and every one of us should have queer community to fall back on. But it doesn’t always feel that way, right? Queer community can feel cliquey, or protected by unspoken gatekeepers, or simply totally non-existant. I’ve spoken to elders who feel left behind, young queers who worry they’re not queer “enough,” and tons of humans all over the age spectrum who just don’t feel hella welcome in queer spaces. AND I HATE THAT. We have to be there for each other. We just do. This world is truly fucked up, and the light in the dark is always, always, always created by us. It’s what queers do. DIY is in our fucking DNA. There have never been spaces built for us that we didn’t really create ourselves – and when our cool spots get bought and co-opted and appropriated, we start fresh and build new places all over again. So we need to make sure we’re welcoming everybody when we build these spaces, because as I’m sure you’re well aware, our feminism will be intersectional or it will be bullshit – and our queer spaces and queer families will be welcoming of all queers or else they will be bullshit, too.
There’s this thing Riese, CEO and founder of Autostraddle dot com, always says: “Be nice and care about your friends more than anything.” Okay? Okay. Love each other. Take care of each other. Let’s build a new Pride this year. Let’s host meet-ups that are inclusive to everyone and let’s hold hands (if you wanna) and let’s have hard conversations and sober spaces and weird, meaningful, deep connections. Let’s still dance and fuck and fight because hell, that’s part of our history too, but let’s try to create little pockets of DIY wonder in the sea of capitalism that has swept Pride up in its waves.
Autostraddle Staff will be coming together to host Pride Meet-Ups in our respective cities and towns, but we can’t be everywhere, so we rely on you — our readers, our commenters, our lurkers, our supporters, our loving critics, our community — to help us out and host some meet-ups, too. You’ve helped us grow and change and improve and succeed for almost a decade. You’ve given us space to make this little pocket of queer affirmation on the internet. You’ve shown up, over and over and over, with time and love and your physical presence at meet-up after meet-up after meet-up!
Now we’re asking you again: will you show up to host a Pride Meet-Up? Meet-ups can be anything, and we’re especially excited to get creative and fun and weird and DIY this year. I posted a low-key meet-up suggestion guide earlier this week, and I encourage you to check it out and also to brainstorm out loud in the comments of this post. What would be the most inclusive Pride meet-up we could all host? What does an incredible feel-good Pride meet-up look like? How can we open up our meet-ups so all queers feel welcome, not just the “cool kids” (spoiler: there are no cool kids)? We as a staff here at Autostraddle really genuinely want to work on making a more inclusive, more diverse, more loving community. We’re it, ya know? It’s 2018, the world is on fire, but we’ve got each other. We’ve gotta have each other.
I am so goddamn proud to be part of the LGBTQ community with all of you weirdos. I want to be proud in public together and I want to make space for everyone who hasn’t felt included in our community to feel welcome. Will you help us create those spaces? I believe this year we can DIY a version of Pride that makes us all feel proud.
If you’re down to host an Autostraddle Pride Meet-Up this year, please submit your event here. All Pride Meet-Up events will post to the Autostraddle Events page and will also be added here, in this very post, so check back often to see what’s going on near you! We’ll update with our staff hosted events ASAP, and I’m so excited to see what y’all come up with, too. We’ve got this. Each other, I mean. And Pride too. We’ve got each other and we’ve got Pride, babes. Let’s do this.
Boston, MA
Dyke March Meet-Up
Venue: Boston Common
139 Tremont Street
Boston, Massachusetts
02111
United States
Event Date: June 8, 2018
Start Time: 5:30 pm
End Time: ??
Host: Jenni Todd
Description: Boston pals! Let’s meet near the Parkman Bandstand, half an hour before the Boston Dyke March is scheduled to commence. It’s a non-commercial, intersectional, grassroots alternative to Boston Pride, and I’d love to see you there! ?
Accessibility Info: Given that it’s a public park within an urban environment, the common is sometimes noisy. It’s also not a scent free environment, but it’s not heavily scented either. According to Friends of the Public Garden, “Many people in wheelchairs visit the Common, the Garden, and the Mall and find that navigating the paths is possible. There are some locations with stairs so we suggest you begin at the Visitor Information Center on Boston Common where a guide can review a map with you and identify accessible paths.”
RSVP: Not necessary.
Chicago, IL
QueerShabbat: It’s Pride!
Venue: My House
Chicago, Illinois
60622
Event Date: June 29, 2018
Start Time: 6:00 pm
End Time: ??
Host: Al Rosenberg
Description: The Pride edition of my monthly Queer Shabbat dinner! Space is limited, new people are VERY welcome. We’ll just chill at my house and be queer (and there will be lite Judaism, and people of all faiths are welcome) and I’m going to make rainbow challah and probably lots of finger food.
Accessibility Info: It’s a smaller apartment, we’ll be cozy. There are several steps up to the front door, and a shy cat you will not meet. My kitchen is kosher style, no pork or shellfish.
RSVP: https://dinners.onetable.org/events/bac89fcf-9f24-4ddc-84df-9b99ed219bf9
I’m receiving financial support and other resources for this event through a nonprofit, so please sign up for the dinner through the link! ?
Detroit, MI
Motor City Pride Pre-Parade Coffee Date Meet-up Extravaganza!
Venue: The Bottom Line Coffee House
4474 Third Street, Suite B2
Royal Oak, MI
48067
United States
Event Date: June 10, 2018
Start Time: 9:30 am
End Time: 11:45 am
Host: Kate York
Description: Pride weekend is approaching!! Need some buds to watch the parade with? If you want to meet up with some beautiful queers in a safe place, to bask and socialize and show off that gorgeous body glitter before the big gay parade, then please please (please) join us. The Bottom Line is a queer/POC owned and operated coffee house, and is a queer/trans safe space. They serve the most delicious coffee and pastries!
Accessibility Info: TBA – I have reached out to The Bottom Line for more information, and will update as I hear back at the Facebook event page (below)!
RSVP: https://www.facebook.com/events/2047485735517266/
Feel free to come by if you can, we’ll be fueling up before the parade and making some new friends to enjoy Pride with! No RSVP needed.
New Orleans, LA
New Orleans Pride Shenanigans!
Venue: Cosimo’s in the Quarter
1201 Burgundy St
New Orleans, LA
70116
United States
Event Date: June 9, 2018
Start Time: 6:00 pm
End Time: 10:00 pm
Host: Julia Davis
Description: We are meeting up for drinks in the quarter and then heading to Rampart for the parade! Parade time is 7:30pm. We will also hang around after the parade for other pride quarter debauchery!
Accessibility Info: Cosimo’s is a teeny tiny bar, I believe it does have a small step from the sidewalk to the bar, but this is just our starting out/meeting spot. We will be walking over to the parade—only one block! And from there we will head to wherever works for everyone who shows up!
RSVP: Not required.
New York, NY
NYC Autostraddle Coffee Meetup
Venue: Cafe Grumpy
224 W. 20th St.
New York, New York
10011
United States
Event Date: June 12, 2018
Start Time: 5:30 pm
End Time: 8:00 pm
Host: Catie W
Description: IT’S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR, MY FELLOW QUEERS!
Looking for the low-down on the best Pride parties? Seeking a squad to accompany you to all those glittery Facebook events you RSVP’d to? Come on down, caffeinate and catch up with NYC’s finest queerdos! Make friends, meet crushes and keep your Pride Month going strong!
Strong likelihood that we will migrate to Cubbyhole afterwards for $2 Margarita Tuesday!
Accessibility Info: Totally accessible. No stairs. Direct street access. No strobe lights or loud noises. Smells like coffee.
RSVP: Not required
Everyone is Gay & Autostraddle All-Ages Pride Party
Venue: Housing Works Bookstore
126 Crosby St
New York, New York
United States
Event Date: June 23, 2018
Start Time: 1:00 pm
End Time: 3:00 pm
Host: Kristin Russo
Description: The Tegan & Sara Foundation presents:
Everyone Is Gay & Autostraddle’s 6th Annual All Ages Pride Party!!!
It’s that time of year again where we all gather together at Housing Works Bookstore to listen to some super queer music and spoken word, and to just HAVE THE BEST TIME.
This year we are so, so thankful to be sponsored by The Tegan & Sara Foundation! Hosted by Kristin Russo & Riese Bernard, spoken word by Urban Word NYC, and music by CHIKA and Emily Wells!!
Accessibility Info: Wheelchair accessible.
We’re working on getting an ASL interpreter.
RSVP: https://www.facebook.com/events/253456518531929/
Portland, OR
Post-Pride Comedown
Venue: Peninsula Park, at the covered picnic area near the playground
closest to the corner of Rosa Parks & Albina
Portland, OR
97217
United States
Event Date: June 18, 2018
Start Time: 5:00 pm
End Time: 9:00 pm
Host: Vanessa & Cee
Description: Come chill out after the intensity of Pride week is over! This will be very relaxed – eat snacks, paint your nails, make a friendship bracelet, or just chat with old and new friends. Things you could bring: snacks (to share!), nail polish, a musical instrument, embroidery thread, a coloring book, crayons, a yoga mat, your pet, a smile! See you at the park!
Accessibility Info: You can enter Peninsula Park on the sidewalk at the corner of Rosa Parks and Albina and there is a paved path to the picnic table area. The area itself is on flat grass a few feet in from the paved path. There are no stairs. It is outdoors but there is shade provided by an open physical structure and also tree cover. There is often a lot else going on in the park including sports games and loud groups.
RSVP:
No RSVP needed! See you at the park xoxo.
Rochester, NY
Big Queer Rochester Straddlers Cookout
Venue: Perinton Park Open Shelter, Fairport
99 O’Connor Rd
Fairport, NY
14450
United States
Event Date: July 13, 2018
Start Time: 4:00 pm
End Time: 10:00 pm
Host: Anna Simpson
Description: A pre-Pride super queer get together for food, games, and conversation! Welcome to members who have come to lots of events or members who have come to none… we’d love to see some new faces! Our meet ups are super low-key and relaxed.
We booked the open shelter at Perinton Park. It is right by the parking lot so very accessible, and there are nice flushing bathrooms within a VERY short walk. Bring any fun outdoor games you might have (we will have a cheap version of ladder ball and lawn darts, and there is a volleyball sand court right next to it).
Assuming the weather is kind to us, we will have a charcoal grill going and we will provide hot dogs, buns, and condiments. I will also get a cooler from somewhere and fill it with ice and some canned sodas and water. We will also provide plates, napkins, and silverware. For as many other things as possible I would love to have it done potluck style… just make sure you comment what you plan to bring! Can’t bring any food? Just bring yourself, no worries! It is BYOB… beer/cider only, no liquor.
If the weather is wet then we can take refuge under the shelter and the show will go on!
Accessibility Info: It is outdoors but we will have a shelter overhead. The shelter is right next to a smallish parking lot which does have 2 accessible parking spots. There are flush bathrooms within about 150 to 200 feet down a paved sidewalk. I believe they have accessible stalls but I cannot guarantee that from memory. There are no stairs and there are ramps on the sidewalks.
RSVP:
We do have an active Facebook group you are welcome to join if you are local (https://www.facebook.com/groups/rochesterstraddlers/) and the event has been posted in our group. If you want to be involved in more of our meet ups please join!
If you are planning to attend but will not be joining the Facebook group, just shoot me a private message.
San Francisco, CA
But I’m a Cheerleader Screening (on VHS!)
Venue: Balboa Theater
3630 Balboa St.
San Francisco, CA
94121
United States
Event Date: June 6, 2018
Start Time: 7:00 pm
End Time: 9:30 pm
Host: Balboa Theater
Description: Every month, the historic Balboa Theater shows a classic film on VHS on the big screen! For Pride month we will be showing But I’m a Cheerleader! In lieu of trailers we will be showing an episode of Xena Warrior Princess. There will also be a couple trivia questions and prizes before the film. We have a couple different LGBTQ films we’re screening this month, so if you feel like having a more low key pride this year that’s actually for queers by queers, please do feel free to stop by. We will be playing Tangerine on 6/12. This will be a fundraiser for Pulse Day of Remembrance. We will also be showing Wild Combination, the Arthur Russell Documentary as part of our Music Movie Monthly series on 6/21. We’re generally pretty gay all the time, so if you haven’t checked out your friendly neighborhood theater, please do so.
Accessibility Info: We have a ramp going into the building as well as a ramp going into the theater and 3 wheelchair spots inside the theater. Our restrooms are also wheelchair accessible. There will be no strobe lights. The movie will be relatively loud as we have 5.1 Dolby surround sound. Pretty much the regular volume of a movie in theaters. The lobby will smell strongly of popcorn.
RSVP:
https://www.facebook.com/events/184688682186962/
You can use your moviepass!
Seattle, WA
Seattle Pride Picnic
Venue: Cal Anderson Park
1635 11th Ave
Seattle, Washington
98122
United States
Event Date: June 16, 2018
Start Time: 1:00 pm
End Time: 5:00 pm
Host: Katrina Carrasco
Description: Happy Pride, everyone! Let’s get together for a picnic to celebrate!
Suggested items to bring: food/snacks to share, a blanket to sit on, games you’d like to play with the group, your favorite rainbow-decked outfit & accessories.
How to find us: I’ll bring a large Autostraddle logo poster & on the day of the event, I’ll update the Facebook page with where in the park we’ve set up. Fingers crossed it stays sunny for us in the park. Hope to see you there!
Accessibility Info: Cal Anderson park is a street-level outdoor park with green spaces and paved paths; there are some stairs but ramps are also available to access the green spaces.
RSVP: https://www.facebook.com/events/591279867910344/
You can RSVP at the Seattle Autostraddlers’ Facebook page. This attendance estimate will be helpful for those bringing food/snacks to share.
Singapore
Come Hang Out at the Library
Venue: Pelangi Pride Centre
One Commonwealth, 1 Commonwealth Lane, #02-02
149544
Singapore
Event Date: June 9, 2018
Start Time: 2:00 pm
End Time: 6:00 pm
Host: Fikri Alkhatib
Description: Have you ever thought “man, I wish I could meet other queers but also leave open the option of retreating to the corner with a book”? I gotchu, my dude. I’ll even make that book queer for you.
Choose your own meet-up adventure this Saturday @ Pelangi Pride Centre, where you’ll be free to socialize or not-socialize with other queer folks in Singapore’s only LGBTQ community library. You can do all your regular library stuff — read & borrow* books, scroll through your phone, study for the O-levels — but because we queers do it better, feel free to also bring games and food** and your best awkward conversation.
No RSVP or $$ required! Come by whenever and with whomever. I’ll be there the whole time so it’ll be at least a meet-up of two. I’m nothing if not the host of the most happening events in town (“town”).
- Book loans are free but we do require a $10 deposit, so remember to bring cash if you want to do this.
** I trust you’ll use your discretion in deciding what to consume in an enclosed, carpeted space. But I also welcome any offers of durian after 6pm.
*** Can’t make it this Saturday? PPC is open every Saturday, 2-6pm (though it’ll be closed on 16 June for Raya). It’s definitely worth a visit if you haven’t been.
Accessibility Info: PPC is within walking distance of Commonwealth MRT, and the route is mostly sheltered. Access to the second floor is via lift and the entrance is step-free.
RSVP: https://www.pelangipridecentre.org
No RSVP required, but if you’d like to get in touch e-mail me at [first name][last name] at gmail dot com and I’ll pass you my phone number. The “RSVP” link is for more info on PPC.
5 Very Low Key Meet-Ups You Could Host Immediately!
As Autostraddle’s community editor, I have a very personal interest in Autostraddle IRL Meet-Ups. I like to see our community grow and thrive both on the internet and in real life, and meet-ups have long been a huge part of Autostraddle’s community success. We’re not just a content creating website – we’re a family. Meet-ups allow us to see our family in person once in a while! At its best, an Autostraddle meet-up is relaxed, relaxing, and Very Fun.
Sometimes the idea of hosting a meet up can be overwhelming, though. I totally get it. Adult obligations are super annoying and often very draining, some of us are shy and some of us are introverts and some of us just dislike responsibility, and also, it just seems like a lot of work! And I totally get that, I do, all of it, and I will never ever force you to host a meet-up.
But! Just hear me out. (I’m very persistent.) A meet-up does not always have to be a whole scenario! There are a lot of very fun very chill ways to meet up with your fellow Straddlers that are just like, the easiest things in the world to plan. You barely even have to plan – you could practically host the meet-up the very next day! For example, at A-Camp this week I’m hosting a newbie campfire meet up for all our new campers, and here’s the premise: I’m going to invite all the new campers to this event, I’m going to make a campfire, I’m going to show up with s’more supplies, and I’m going to gently suggest everyone talk to each other and make s’mores and eat them. IT’S GOING TO BE GREAT! And it was so, so easy to plan, it will be so, so easy to execute, and it will feel so, so amazing afterwards.
So if you are the kind of human who would love to host a meet up but just feels too overwhelmed to get the ball rolling – or even if you’re just the kind of person who would consider hosting a meet up, maybe, you’re not committing to anything but you’ll think about it OKAY – this post is for you. Below, please feast your eyes on five extremely low key, easy to plan, Very Fun meet-up suggestions. Get excited to meet your fellow Straddlers in person with these sweet events, bbs. You’re welcome!
Host A Bonfire / S’more Party
So, like I said, campfires / bonfires are Very Easy. Here’s what you do: Invite queers to a bonfire. Make a fire. Queers show up. BOOM YOU ARE DONE! No but seriously, who doesn’t love hanging around a fire, talking and laughing and roasting s’mores and drinking sparkling water or booze if that’s your thing? You’re all cozy and happy, then someone whips out a guitar and soon everyone is singing along to an acoustic cover of a Taylor Swift song but you’re changing the lyrics to make it hella gay, everyone takes turns feeding the fire and the warmth it emits reminds you of the warmth that comes from queer community, oh my goddess you’re starting to feel kind of weepy, but it’s dark so it’s fine, you can totally be sentimental for a minute… Doesn’t that sound nice?! It is, it is very nice, and it takes essentially zero planning and hardly any work to pull off.
Meet Up As A Group At A Public Event
This is arguably The Easiest Option on the whole list! A great way to “host a meet up” without taking any responsibility is to suggest y’all meet up as a group at a public event you’re planning on attending. This can be a sporting event, a concert, a university lecture, a reading…literally anything that is happening in a public space that multiple queer people are planning on attending works. This is especially great for folks who are shy or folks who are worried about not having anything to talk about, because the event sort of removes that pressure. Sometimes you literally cannot speak during the event because it’s rude, and sometimes you just don’t have to. If things seem to be going well you can all go for food or drinks or ice cream after the event and more talking may or may not happen then, but again, anyone who isn’t comfortable with that can just go home and still feel like they spent some enjoyable time in a group of queers in a low key fun way. Another thing that’s fun about this option is sometimes your general activity just turns into a meet up, absolutely zero effort needed! If you live in a town or city with a sizable queer population, going to certain events all but guarantees you’ll be hanging with other queers. For example, I’m going to see Janelle Monae with every other queer in Portland in June and you know what, as of right now I’m calling it a meet up. We’re all meeting up there, Portland! See ya then.
Have A Potluck Picnic
This is a pretty chill option. Not the most chill, but not too much effort either. As the picnic host, your main jobs include: choosing a nice park and bringing a big blanket and a frisbee or two. A potluck is awesome because it spreads out the labor of food-making, is almost always less expensive than going out to eat at a restaurant (unless you make a supremely lavish potluck contribution in which case, please join me at my next potluck asap), and it’s pretty simple in its execution. Also, if you’re a big group of friendly looking queers having a nice fun time eating food on a blanket in a park, it is very likely you will attract other queers you don’t even know just from looking so fun. This has happened to me on multiple occasions in different cities, and it’s always a really nice feeling knowing that your new friend woke up that day with no idea they were going to attend a meet up and then ended their day with like 7 to 42 new friends.
Current Events Club
I think sometimes book clubs can be overwhelming for people because there’s an expectation that you need to do a lot of work beforehand: you need to read a whole book! And that is true, that is exactly what you are expected to do before attending a book club meet up. But what if…what if you could discuss a thing with a group of smart queer humans, without committing to reading 150-300 pages beforehand? What then? Well good news, you totally can! Here’s the deal: pick a day for your meet up. On that day, every human attending will bring their favorite / most horrifying / funniest / weirdest / etc article from the past week. Then y’all will sit in a circle, and one by one each person will present their article! After they’ve summarized it and given some of their thoughts, you can all chat about it…kind of like a book club! Or a report club. But minus the prep.
Journal Alone But Together
(Via Diary of a Little Flower)
But, you’re saying to me by now, Vanessa, you’re being really annoying. I literally do not want to meet up with other people. I want to drink tea and write in my journal by myself. Sure, being surrounded by other queers would be cool, but that’s not a meet up! That’s journaling alone but together! To which I say…I’m sorry I’m so annoying but like, WHAT A GREAT IDEA! Host a meet up at a tea shop. Tell everyone to bring their journal. Do brief introductions, or don’t. Then…journal! Alone! With no talking! But…together. That’s beautiful. And, might I add: very low key. As promised.
Okay there you go! Five wonderful low key easy to plan meet up ideas! Hopefully this is very inspiring for next month, when we start planning Autostraddle Pride Meet-Ups, and for the rest of your life! And in all seriousness: thank you, from the bottom of my heart, to every single human reading this website who has ever hosted an Autostraddle Meet Up. I know it’s not easy, I am grateful for you, your fellow Straddlers are grateful for you, and I love you. If you’re ever in Portland, come find me and I’ll build you a bonfire and make you a s’more – pinky swear.
Beers, Droves of Queers and Scorecards Galore: My Queer Trivia Night Went Well
Meet-ups can be hard — How do I plan? Who should I invite? How do I get the word out? Where do I do it? Will anyone like it? Am I too shy to speak to anyone? Trivia meet-ups can be even harder — What questions do I ask? What if it’s too hard? How do I plan the scoring? How many rounds? Who will MC? Can my venue accommodate a sound system?
We learned the hard way that asking loyal readers and strangers on the internet to host a full-on trivia meet-up was a little too daunting – while many, many Autostraddle readers seemed extremely excited by the idea when it first took shape on Twitter, it was arguably our least popular meet-up event ever. Because of this sad truth, our community editor Vanessa was particularly ecstatic that I not only volunteered to host a trivia meet-up in D.C., but that it was wildly successful and very fun. At her request, I put together this how-to guide, so perhaps next time we attempt to host a trivia meet-up month more people will feel comfortable and ready to host events of their own! Be the meet-ups you want to see in the world, you know?
While all of the above concerns are extremely valid worries, don’t let that running anxiety-script stop you in the future! With a little pre-planning, you can end up surprising yourself with a really awesome meet-up, and have a great time to boot! The Autostraddle Trivia Meet-up I hosted here in D.C. was so, so fun. Here are a few things I did to set myself and my trivia meet-up up for success.
Courtesy of Songbyrd Music House and Record Shop
Plan Early and Find Your Space
Give yourself some time to get everything in order, and to have backups in case something falls through. I gave myself a lead time of a month, but a few weeks should be fine!
The very first thing I did was look for a venue. I wanted a space that was both queer-friendly and could accommodate a trivia night. So, I looked up queer events in my city on Facebook. At first, I wanted to do it at a bookstore/comic book shop here in D.C., Fantom Comics, but they never got back to my inquiry emails (womp, womp). So I kept looking, and landed on Songbyrd Music House and Record Cafe, a coffee shop/bar/music venue that was conveniently near my house and that I saw had previously hosted both queer events AND trivia events — so I knew they could do it. They answered my email more promptly, and after figuring out a date that worked for their calendar, I jumped on the phone with their events person and figured out the details: what time, where it was, what I would need to bring and what they would provide – things like their speaker/mic set up and if they had a computer or iPad that could play Spotify. The Songbyrd Cafe people working with me were awesome, and they offered me a $25 gift card to give away as a prize. The day of, I showed up an hour early and got the in-person rundown on their speaker setup — more on that in a bit.
Getting people to come
Next, I made a Facebook Event and added the Songbyrd events people as moderators. Luckily, Sarah, our wonderful Autostraddle design director, had provided us images for Facebook cover images. I also set some ground rules to the event: don’t have teams of more than six people, find people to make a team with via the event or by arriving early, be nice to each other, etc.!
Then I added myself to every queer Facebook group I could find in my city — including a D.C. Straddlers group, heyyy! — and posted the event to them. I also submitted the event to Autostraddle.com here! Then I sat back and watched in excitement/horror as more and more people noted that they were attending.
Preparing the Questions
This can be the most intimidating part — how to come up with the right questions, and how hard (or not) to make them? I decided I would do six rounds, with a break for scoring in-between the third and fourth, and that one round would be a music round. I picked some overall themes — Sports, Music, Politics, Literature, Autostraddle, and History. I also wanted all of the trivia to be queer, and I’ll admit it, I had to do a lot of googling! Each round was 8-10 questions, and I tried to make sure I had a few “gimme” questions in every round. For answers that might be a little more obscure, I tried to add extra context to the questions, so people could make educated guesses.
But I also realized that I don’t know everything! Fellow Autostraddle writer Carrie helped me out with some questions with some of the stuff I wasn’t as sure about: sports, some Autostraddle trivia, and her specialty, politics!
Finally, I mocked up some simple answer sheets that had “Autostraddle Queer Trivia!” at the top and spaces for the team name, the round number, and 10 questions. I printed out a bunch and ran out the last round, so print out twice as many as you think you’ll need! Or, bring a ton of printer paper. And don’t forget to bring some pens!
One note for fellow Autostraddle trivia meet-up organizers and for my future self: I got a lot of feedback from my event participants that there wasn’t enough TV and movie trivia — something Autostraddle definitely covers a lot — so I’ll be adding that as a category or two when I next host a trivia meet-up – all L-Word round, anyone?!
MCing the Event
It can be really intimidating to sit in the DJ booth and MC an event, but usually, they have just one or two things you need to pay attention to: the volume knob for your speakers, and the mute button for your mic. Most places have a computer or an iPad set up where you can pull up a Spotify playlist, which is what I did. The most complicated that it got was when it was time for me to read out a question I’d just hit pause on Spotify and unmute my mic, then mute my mic, and hit play again.
Advanced Tip: For my third round, I did a music round! I made a special Spotify playlist, then played the first 30 seconds of each song twice for the questions. It was pretty manual since I was basically hitting pause at 30 seconds, replay, pause at 30 seconds, next song — and so forth. I let the round be a double-point round and gave the teams one point for naming the song and one for naming the artist. If you have extra time and know how to edit music, you can use something like garage band to make the clips yourself, which doesn’t force you to use the first 30 seconds of every song (a choice I basically made to make it easier on myself).
Songbyrd Music House and Record Cafe, the day of the trivia meet-up
Enjoy the Event!
Getting there, I was really nervous — What if no one came? What if I messed up? Luckily, I have a few years of being an avid trivia-goer under my belt, and even when I arrived an hour early, I started spotting some alternative-lifestyle haircuts. I grabbed myself a beer, looked over my questions, and let myself relax.
The event ended up having around 20 teams (!!!), each one of them with a pretty hilarious name — standouts included “Hermione Granger and the Cloak of Bi-Visibility” and a team just named “Dana Fairbanks” (who put her as the answer for any question they didn’t know — made me feel bad that I hadn’t put her as the answer to a single question!). Since there were so many people, I let everyone know that I’d repeat each question only once, and the group was lovely so no one really gave me a hard time.
And y’all, the night flew by! It was so fun to quiz everyone. I had a wonderful time, and nearly everyone asked me when I was going to do this again (let me sleep for a few days straight first). One group was celebrating a birthday and brought out a cake halfway through a round, and in the end, there was a tie for first place that I wanted to resolve with a dance-off, but one team had already left (who leaves before an event ends?? Where did y’all go?!)!
To be fair, that was probably my fault, and one of my lessons learned — I scored every answer sheet myself in a notebook, which took me quite a while! I read out the answers and the team scores after the third and sixth rounds. On the one hand, this made for a nice drink break/intermission during the event, but it definitely dragged the ending for a little bit. In the future, if there are that many people, I’ll either have an assistant scoring rounds as they come in or use the traditional pub-quiz rules and let teams score each other’s rounds.
Though this is the type of meet-up that definitely takes a little more planning than a potluck or a picnic, it is absolutely worth it, and such a blast for everyone who attends! It takes a lot of the awkwardness of meeting new people out by giving some structure and some good competition. And we all know a lot more queer trivia than we did before, which is a plus whether you’re trying to impress that babe on Tinder or hoping to score 100% on every quiz ever published on Autostraddle.
TL;DR – Do it yourself!
- Find a venue that has done trivia before, and make sure they can show you how or help you to run the event!
- Get the event up on Facebook and spread it around.
- Write up some questions based on loose themes, vary them in difficulty, and don’t be afraid to ask for help!
- Bring materials: your questions and answers, answer sheets or computer paper for the teams, and pens!
- Don’t forget to have lots of fun, make friends, and take pics!
Join Us This April For TRIVIAL CAHOOTS: Autostraddle Queer Trivia Meet-Up Month!
Have you ever been hanging out at a trivia event, trying to enjoy a rousing round of good natured competitive fun with pals, when you realize…this would be so much better if it was a lot more queer? Same. All trivia lovers have been there – your local trivia night is rad, it really is (or hey, maybe it really isn’t) but like, where are the entirely queer trivia rounds of our dreams?!
It is in fact such a universal feeling that when Autostraddle readers Nico and Abbey tweeted the suggestion that Autostraddle host regular Trivia Nights and I put out a very casual temperature check to The Twitter Masses to see if folks would be interested, the response blew me away. It was immediately clear: we’ve gotta get together and host some very gay trivia nights.
Concept: what if @autostraddle hosted regular trivia nights in major US cities? I’m super tired of “straight white nerd dude culture” quizzes.
— Honey’s Mom (@SkepticEddie) February 1, 2018
https://twitter.com/vanessapamela/status/958944550151581696
@SkepticEddie and i actually came up with this idea when we were at a Geeks Who Drink trivia last night. definitely take a look at their site if you’re looking for models of how to implement this kind of thing!
— 𝔞𝔟𝔟𝔢𝔶 𝔰𝔠𝔥𝔲𝔩𝔱𝔷 (@abbeytellstales) February 1, 2018
As community editor, I live to give the people what they want. And thus, thanks to a brilliant idea from two loyal readers, enthusiastic excitement from the community, and our fearless leader Riese’s deep love for all things trivia, our latest Meet-Up was born. Welcome to TRIVIAL CAHOOTS, Autostraddle’s April Meet-Up Month! We are SO EXCITED to get nerdy with you in a variety of ways!
So here’s the deal about how this is gonna go down: April is Trivial Cahoots Meet-Up Month! Insert wild cheering from the crowd here! We’re counting on YOU to host a trivia event in your respective city / town / neighborhood / commune! If your local Autostraddle Meet-Up group loves the event, perhaps you can work on making it a regular series! Also! Along with the IRL meet-ups, we’ll be publishing an original queer trivia series on this very website, Autostraddle dot com, with topics ranging from Sex Toy History to Basketball to Lesbian Herstory to Carol! That’s right! You will be able to take actual multiple choice quizzes written by Autostraddle staff members all through the month of April! We’re even going to publish two quizzes this month in March, as a little teaser for what’s to come, because we love you! Good goddess, life is good.
Let’s Talk About Logistics
Check out the post we published today, written by Lesbian Trivia Master Riese Bernard, about how to host a successful trivia night! It will answer all your burning questions like “should I pick a theme for trivia?” and “what makes a good host?” and “how do I make sure the contestants stay engaged?”
One other thing to consider is location. Where should you host your trivia event? Traditional “trivia nights” often happen in bars, but don’t be intimidated if you don’t want to ask a bar owner if they’ll host your trivia event. We’ve successfully hosted many trivia events at A-Camp in a large empty room and they were very fun. If you do want to partner with a bar, emphasize to them that you’ll be bringing in a lot of people and that if it goes well it could become a regular monthly event (which means regular customers for them!).
As always, reaching out to queer business owners is highly encouraged; if you have a local queer-owned restaurant, coffeeshop, community center, or bookstore in your town, they are great places to reach out to when organizing events like this. But don’t feel bad if you end up hosting trivia in your backyard – as long as you all have a surface to write your answers on and the ability to hear the host, your event will be great.
I also want you to know that if you’re nervous about writing trivia questions even after we publish our Very Helpful Post later today, you should reach out to each other in the comments for tips and advice! More than a few of y’all emailed me after the initial tweets that birthed this idea to say how much you love hosting trivia and how excited you’d be to help out with such an event for Autostraddle, so please use our incredible community resources and connect with one another! Seeing y’all chat and share and connect in the comments is literally the number one best part of my job – I can’t wait to hear what y’all come up with!
Oh, and one last thing…if you post on social media about this, keep us in the loop! #TrivialCahoots, duh. <3
Are You Ready To Participate In Trivial Cahoots: Autostraddle Meet-Up Month? Submit Your Meet-Up Plans Here!
Meet-Up Schedule, TBA
(As events are submitted, we will update this post to reflect all the IRL Queer Trivia Events happening in April!)
The Women’s March on Washington: Meet Up With Other ‘Straddlers Around The World To Protest Trump
Welp. It’s happening. Donald Trump will soon be inaugurated as the 45th president of the United States of America, a sentence that makes me want to set myself on fire. Alas! I will not set myself on fire because there is still so much work to be done in this world of ours and I’m not done fighting. Probably many of you feel that way too. That’s why so many women around the world are joining up for the Women’s March on Washington and the 270+ sister/solidarity marches on January 21st. The Women’s March is co-chaired by Tamika D. Mallory, an African-American civil rights activist and gun control advocate; Carmen Perez, the executive director of Harry Belafonte’s Gathering For Justice; Linda Sarsour, the executive director of the Arab American Association of New York, and Bob Band, the CEO + Founder of Manufacture New York.
Maybe you’re marching too! Or maybe you want to march but don’t know when or how or where to get involved! Maybe you just need to find a group of people to stand beside!
That’s why we’re asking anyone who’s participating in the march with a group of people to sign up on our events page to help other queer folks find you and walk with you in solidarity.
The Main Event
When: January 21, 2017
Where: Washington, D.C. (on the corner of Independence Ave. and 3rd St.)
Time: 10:00 a.m.
The Autostraddle Event
+ Look for ‘Straddlers who are meeting up.
+ On the day of the march, tweet or Insta with the hashtag #ASWomensMarch, so we can find you and retweet your tweets and repost your photos to our official Instagram.
If you’re in New York City, I’ll see you out there!