Wolfe Video Movie Night: A Perfect Ending

By Kate & Carolyn

Welcome to Movie Night!, where we choose a movie based on any number of variables and feelings, create a themed menu to match, then spend the night eating these foods and watching these movies! It’s an uncomplicated and promising plan.

This week’s movie is A Perfect Ending, featuring the scandalous liaison between a rich housewife and a sexy callgirl. Follow this flick with the delicious and unexpected coupling of Lemon Pepper Spinach Linguini and Cantaloupe Sorbet to give your tastebuds as much of a shock as the movie’s surprise ending.

The Movie:

A Perfect Ending

Buy or Rent

A Perfect Ending, the newest feature from the director of Elena Undone, is now available to watch on Wolfe On Demand. In terms of cheesiness, it’s premium quality ooey gooey, best paired with a generous helping of lesbianism. It’s a tale of midlife sexuality that is only about half as awkward as The L Word‘s Phyllis narrative, with twice the amount of lengthy sex scenes and emotional processing.

Barbara Niven is a middle-aged housewife who’s never had an orgasm, and hires a female escort to do the trick. That female escort is Jessica Clark, aka super hot Lilith from True Blood. What follows in an imaginably complicated and erotic way is history… er, herstory. This movie has everything: exotic ambiguously-ethnic call girl, bored WASP-y housewife straight out of a Lifetime movie, a madame with a Barbie fixation, and every possible film transition known to cinema. But lesbihonest, folks: you’re not here for the narrative. It’s a cheeseball fest that you and your girl can quote for years to come. Cathy DeBuono has a cameo in it, too.  

Rent or buy the film online via Wolfe!

THE MENU

Lemon Pepper Spinach Linguini
Cantaloupe Sorbet

Lemon Pepper Spinach Linguini

Most versions of this recipe (actually, all of them) omit adding arugula or baby spinach at the end, and while there is a lot to be said for not messing with perfection, there is also a lot to be said for liking vegetables and besides, the extra green looks pretty. Most versions of this recipe also call for 1/4 cup of heavy cream added when you boil the olive oil, which we’re omitting.

If you want to use nutritional yeast instead of Parmesan, make it taste cheesier by pulsing 1/2 yeast flakes with 1 cup walnuts and 1 tsp. salt in a food processor until crumbly. Make sure to add the lemon juice slowly — I found the flavor went a lot further than with cheese. You will also need to add less pasta water.

Ingredients

1 pound linguini
Coarse salt
2 lemons
1/4 cup olive oil
1/2 cup freshly grated Parmesan (or nutritional yeast with walnuts)
Black pepper
Handful fresh basil leaves (about 4 stems’ worth), shredded
Arugula or baby spinach (optional)

Directions

1. Cook the linguini in salted water until al dente.
2. While you wait, zest the lemons until you have about a tablespoon of zest, then juice them — you need 1/4 cup of juice, but may want the option to add more.
3. Scoop out 1 1/4 cups of the pasta water. Drain pasta and set aside.
4. In that same pot, boil the olive oil, 1 cup of the pasta water and the zest for 3 minutes over high heat. Add the pasta and stir until coated. Add 1/4 cup lemon juice and the cheese or nutritional yeast and toss quickly until coated. Taste and add more lemon juice if you think it needs it. Add the basil and spinach or arugula and stir.
5. Serve, season to taste with salt and black pepper, and sprinkle with extra cheese or yeast flakes.

Cantaloupe Sorbet

Easier to make than it is to spell.

Ingredients

1 cantaloupe
sugar (will likely be unnecessary)

Directions

1. Cut up a cantaloupe (or melon, or really almost any fruit you want) into small cubes.
2. Freeze.
3. Remove from freezer and puree in food processor or with hand blender until smooth. Add water to make smoother. Add sugar if needed. Cut with a banana or some sort of dairy product if too sweet.
4. Serve. The leftovers will last in the freezer for a few weeks.

Real Life Lesbian Jessica Clark Gets Naked For True Blood

This week on True Blood, a lot of weird/gross things happened, none of which matter as much as the fact that out lesbian actress/model Jessica Clark arose completely naked from a pool of blood as the original vampire goddess Lilith in what may or may not have been a group hallucination caused by drinking her ancient blood. Please read that sentence in one breath, because that is how I meant it.

via HBO

You guys, when I say naked, I don’t mean that she just wasn’t wearing clothing and there were props conveniently covering her vag. She was the most naked and you could see all the things. Including her perfectly manicured pubic hair, which was in the shape of the most exact isosceles triangle that has ever been on a vagina. So, the question on everyone’s mind: was it a merkin?

In addition to being naked, Clark gives a great vampire roar and breathes a cloud of blood cells. It’s a pretty exciting debut.

I would like to motion to make this scene a classic of the Nude Lesbian Canon, up there with Shane’s full-frontal pool scene in episode 101 of The L Word. That was the original naked lesbian moment of my heart. I remember watching it with my first girlfriend before we were dating/before I was out and I said, “I am attracted to that person.” And she rolled her eyes and was like, “Duh of course you are.” That’s a tale as old as time, I guess. If you want to take a fun trip down lesbian memory lane you should read Riese’s recap of that episode. I just did.

Anyway, you might remember Jessica Clark from the exclusive Autostraddle premier of the short film Sara and the corresponding Autostraddle interview. Since then, she’s landed a number of television gigs, and was also on the cover of Vogue India. Clark is married to fitness guru Lacey Stone, who is also her personal trainer. Of her feelings about her wife being naked on True Blood, Clark told the Advocate that Stone says, “At least they can see how great my work is.”

Indeed.

EXCLUSIVE! The Autostraddle Premiere of “Sara”

One Summer. Two Girls. New York City.
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Wanna watch a queer lady movie that doesn’t suck? Good news. This one starts now. Have you read our interview with Jessica Clark and seen the trailer? Okay, go do that. Are you back? Okay, let’s start!

Hello and welcome to the world premiere of Sara, a short film about two girls who have feelings and complicated lesbian love situations.

Stan wrote, directed and independently produced this DIY labor of love starring Jessica Clark (model & actress, c0-host of AE’s Lesbian Love) and Julissa Bermudez (host of MTV Jersey Shore’s AfterHours). The short screened at Outfest and the New York International Latino Film Festival last summer and is now available for the first time online.

Meet Jessica Clark (Lexus)

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Originally from the UK with a British, Indian and Nigerian background, Jessica has modeled everywhere from New York to Milan, in leading fashion magazines and also starred as Usher’s love interest in his “Burn” video. She spent the better part of last year hosting Lesbian Love which aired on AfterEllen, where she and partner Lacey Stone dispensed all sorts of relationship advice to the young and gay and also open up about their own past and present. She’s currently adding “actress” to her resume and Sara is her first film.

Meet Julissa Bermudez (Sara)
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Originally from the Dominican Republic, Julissa is MTV’s go-to host these days, repeatedly asking the eternal question of “Why are Ronnie and Sammi still together?” on the Jersey Shore reunion specials. She has also appeared as a correspondent on BET’s 106 & Park and made appearances in several music videos and films.

The Film

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.Okay, enough foreplay, watch the film!!!

Get Ready for ‘Sara’ As We Interview Out Model/Actress Jessica Clark

So, there’s this new lesbian short film. It’s called Sara. You haven’t seen it, I promise, unless you were at Outfest. It stars out lesbian model Jessica Clark and Julissa Bermudez (yes, the MTV chick who hosts the Jersey Shore reunion specials). Guess what. THIS MOVIE DOESN’T SUCK, and it deals deftly with two topics rarely touched upon in the lesbian lexicon of filmytime movies.

GUESS WHAT ELSE. This film was at Outfest and the New York International Film Festival last year, but it’s gonna make its online premiere today, Friday January 21st, on Autostraddle.com, at 12 noon PST/3pm EST. So that’s right here on this website. The one you’re already on. So if you just hang out here for a while, sooner or later the movie will begin. But first we have a trailer and an interview with Jessica Clark!

This is Jessica Clark, she’s a lesbian with really nice hair, we talked to her at the 2009 NewNowNext Awards in which she won an award for being hot:

So, here’s the Trailer:

Q&A with Jessica Clark

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Were you and Julissa friends prior to filming? What’s your off-screen relationship like?

No, Julissa and I had never met prior to us both being cast in Sara. She is an incredibly talented and professional actor and was a pleasure to work with. She is also hysterical and made me giggle constantly by always singing and dancing around during breaks between rehearsal and filming. Sara deals with a very intense, consuming moment in time for our two characters, they really make an impact on each other that neither will ever forget. Julissa was definitely able to lighten the mood when it was needed sometimes, and then be utterly focused and committed to Sara and the world we were creating together. Now… we both live in LA and it’s very cool to hear what she has going on when we get a chance to meet up.

photo by Elizabeth Lloyd

They say there is nothing like falling in love in New York City. Any insight on what makes romance so special here?

NYC is where I met my amazing wife Lacey Stone so it will always be a place of love for me! I think the coolest thing about it is that it’s really a city of immigrants… Whether from elsewhere in the US or the world, people choose to move to NYC to create, recreate, inspire and achieve. There’s a feeling that you can be whoever you want there and achieve whatever it is that you want as well so it’s exciting and dynamic and that’s reflected in the people that you meet and fall in love with. I definitely see that theme in our relationship… and I’m very aware how lucky we are to have that.

How is married life with Lacey these days?

Lacey’s second MTV MADE episode just aired on January 19th (her previous one aired at the end of 2010) and she’s had recent appearances on CBS and NBC as well so her career is really going amazingly! I just watched the episode and she was so dedicated and so inspiring!! She made me want to go work out again today =) Married life is awesome. We are coming up on our first year anniversary this February and it’s been an amazing ride so far. We are splitting our time between NYC and LA as a result of our jobs, and while it can get tough to be apart sometimes, there’s always a very fun reunion coming up =) What I am so proud of is that we are both so determined to love each other and support each other in our professional ambitions as well as our personal commitments. She is amazing and I’m so proud of her, and she makes me happier and laugh harder than anybody else I’ve ever met! And I am very serious so that’s not easy! I love her very much and I’m lucky enough to be able to say that I know she loves me too.

As you transition from modeling and hosting into acting do you ever worry that being out will cost you roles?

No. It is what it is, I am who I am. There’s any number of reasons why you may or may not book a role and I know from my modeling career that if you focus on that too closely all you will accomplish is to drive yourself crazy. All I can do is work as hard as I can to be the best that I can be and let the chips fall as they may.

Have you read Portia de Rossi’s book Unbearable Lightness? She had a similar path to you re: modeling as a closeted lesbian who then moved into the acting world. Would love to know your feelings on the book, specifically as it relates to the pressure to be thin that modeling puts on young girls.

I did not read Portia’s book, except for several published excerpts. What I did read felt authentic and brave and I deeply respect and applaud her for putting her story out there. Earlier in my recovery it would have meant the world to me to read her experiences and see that not only has she come out the other side and survived but that she has flourished!! I have no doubt that there are many people out there for whom her words will be a great comfort and inspiration. It was a personal choice for me not to read the whole book: in that at a certain point in extended recovery from eating disorders….having lived through similar experiences very intensely myself, you need a little distance from it. The feelings and memories can be very overwhelming when reading such a deeply personal account such as Portia’s.

credit: Stephanie Mathis

How did you become involved in the film?

I was lucky enough that the director Stan had been a reader of a blog that Lacey and myself had been writing together for about a year. We really wanted to explore lots of deeply personal themes such as our relationships with our bodies and our personal lives and sexuality, etc. Stan responded to my writing and approached me to read for the part of Lexus. It was really a very organic and wonderful way to begin working together because her only knowledge of me was this deeply personal writing I had been doing, she had never met me prior to the initial audition. It’s rare that we get to meet people in such circumstances. And then once I had met her and read the script for Sara I really fought to be a part of it because I felt very strongly that there was a unique voice there and a story that I really wanted to be told.

What was the biggest challenge for you while making Sara?

Sara was my first professional acting job and so the challenges were myriad. My character Lexus comes from a very different place and has very different life experiences from me, so it was a challenge to understand why she makes the choices that she does. She also has a very different physicality to me…. I guess you could say that I am a lot more self contained than her and so there really was a whole process of learning to inhabit my body differently. I was very lucky to have Stan as my first director because her directing philosophy is very actor focused and she really spent a lot of time with us and our performances. The experience definitely ignited a full blown desire to act professionally and also gave me the confidence to believe that I had talent … which is a huge gift!

What’s next for you either in film or TV?

I just filmed an ABC pilot half hour sitcom which we will have to wait and see if it gets picked up by the network. I have been cast as one of the two leads in Nicole Conn’s (Elena Undone) new feature film A Perfect Ending which is in pre-production right now and due to start filming very soon. And I have just been cast as a “bad ass ninja” in another feature film TBA shortly which films early this summer. So I’m lucky and happy, busy and working VERY hard!

Hot Lady Friday with Jessica Clark, Jane Lynch, Gaga, Rihanna, Meredith Baxter & Lilo Obvs

GLEE: Ryan Murphy on the future of GLEE and his conviction that The Lynch can do no wrong Obvs – ”Sue will never take a backseat on the show ever because Jane is so fantastic and we write so heavily toward her… people love her. If you thought she was bad in the first 13, she’s doubly wicked and funny in the [rest].” Kristen Chenoweth coming back, 10 Madonna songs:

“I just think you had to fall in love with the characters,” he added. “It’s a very universal idea that everybody feels like an outsider, I think that’s what the show’s about. Everybody feels that way no matter how popular or famous or rich you are.”

Murphy told The Wrap that next season, he’ll be doing “an average of eight to 10” songs per episode. (@thewrap)

GAGA: Lady Gaga is MTV News’s Woman of the Year! We just want you to know that when we finally finish all our year-end lists, that we started them like three weeks ago so we’re not copying: “Gaga’s work shows a sense of performance-art and theater that, these days, is arguably rivaled among major artists only by that of Kanye West, which is why their ultimately cancelled “Fame Kills” co-headlining tour made sense artistically (although many were baffled by it). She makes every public appearance into an event.” (@mtv)

JESSICA CLARK: Smokin’ hot model Jessica Clark has some tips for gifts for the lesbian in your life. Probs you have lots of lesbians in your life, unless you live with polar bears or straight people. HAPPY FRIDAY (@ourscenetv)

MEREDITH BAXTER: Meredith Baxter is gonna write an autobiography. Riese finds this very exciting because she loves reading memoirs or auto-bios by people who went to her boarding school, like Marya Hornbacher’s Wasted, which we also recommend, and which is probs a bit more depressing than Meredith’s book, which I bet will be super good and have lots of Michael J Fox gossip in it. (@cnn)

LOHAN: Lindsay Lohan has had a busy week! At Voyeur with Kevin Connolly on December 16th, where Courtenay Semel was inside, talking smack about Tila Tequila and Casey Johnson (she gives them “five more days”) but not commenting about whether she’d seen LiLo there. On December 17th she was at Brian Wilson’s Hollywood Hills shindig with Leonardo DiCaprio and other famous people.

ELLEN VON UNWERTH: Ellen Von Unwerth (our second-favorite photographer) shoots Lady Gaga (our favorite person) and Cyndi Lauper (our favorite ally) for M.A.C. Viva Glam (our favorite makeup). Like everything Ellen touches, this is sure to be golden:

’09 AWARDS: Best TV Lines of 2009, contributed by hundreds of people on Twitter. (@latimes) BONUS: Many of the quoted shows are Televisionary regulars.

VOGUE: Vogue Lets You Choose Best-Dressed Women of the Decade and I hope you all pick Lady Gaga. (@vogue)

AVATAR: Fox banks on James Cameron’s $380 million Avatar (@washingtonpost), Men snapping up Avatar tickets in pre-sale; women, not so much (@nydailynews)

CLASSIC MOVIES: BBC’s crib sheets on how to pretend you’ve seen 10 classic films, including Autostraddle favorite Alien:

Alien

In a line: Ultimate parasite hitches a lift on a space freighter.
Plot summary: Intergalactic miners are wakened from their hypersleep by a distress signal from a planet they pass. They investigate and find a mummified craft with egg-like structures. One of the miners gets a crab-cum-hand thing attached to his face. It disappears as mysteriously as it attached itself but later, something suddenly bursts through the host’s gut after a meal. It proceeds to eliminate everyone on board with the help of an android crew member.

Buzzword bingo: Hypersleep, parasite, molecular acid, cryogenics.
Key line: “It’s a robot. Ash is a goddamn robot.”
Key scene: Ripley has managed to escape to the shuttle but has forgotten Jonesy the cat. She just has to go back and get it.

TINA FEY: Steve Carell & Tina Fey are attached to star in Mail-Order Groom, a film conceived by 30 Rock writers. (@latimes)

JERSEY SHORE: Teacher who punched Jersey Shore girl apologizes. (@nypost)

The Full VIDEO: Autostraddle’s Riese & A;ex Do Logo’s 2009 NewNowNext Awards

At last we have wrung every last drop of material out of Logo’s Second Annual NewNowNext Awards. Well, not necessarily. There’s always the possibility of a behind-the-scenes B-roll tape!

Soooo … check us out on the red carpet interviewing The Big Gay Sketch Show’s Kate McKinnon & Nicol Paone, comic Erin Foley, girlfriends hot model Jessica Clark & trainer Lacey Stone, Jeffery & Cole (The Very Good Looking Gay Boys), Del Marquis of The Scissor Sisters, the world-famous Alexi Melvin of Alexi’s Closet, Ongina from RuPaul’s Drag Race and The Paradiso Girls, who sing a lovely song about getting a girl drunk so Lil’ Jon can take advantage of her while she throws up.  You will also witness brief, flashing moments of our total professionalism and skills with interviewing people about nonsense!

We present the full cut — all ten lovely minutes — of the NewNowNext Awards Red Carpet starring Riese and Alex (sidenote, as of 3:30 PM EST, it was still processing, so it might not be at full quality quite yet):

This illustrious homosexual ceremony, hosted by A;ex’s Number One Feeling RuPaul, will air on gay-channel Logo on June 13th.

Autofocus! Robin Shoots & Riese Explains the NewNowNext Awards – The Full Set

That Bitch is Wearing Amazing Hot Pink Pants

Hi kids! It’s me, Riese, CEO of Ideas here at Autostraddle “We Make Lesbians Cool” Dot Com. Last night I drunkenly uploaded superstar photoblogger Robin’s first-rate photos from the NewNowNext Awards and drunkenly wrote captions for said photos, thinking half-consciously that I’d fix the captions in the morning. But then I decided it would take less time to not change a thing. Except for the caption that said “who the hell is this guy.” I fixed that one. I know who he is now. (more…)