Boobs on Your Tube: Gen V Wraps Its First Season, We’ll Always Love a Bisexual Superhero

Happy Friday! Let’s see what’s been happening on our screens! Netflix has a new reality show called Surviving Paradise which is somehow like Crime and Punishment (??) and has a rivalry between its two queer contestants. Dyke Drama on The Morning Show reached an all-time high, which is really saying something. Neon on Netflix came out a few weeks ago, and is full of queer Puerto Rican reggaeton dreams (plus a killer Jordana Brewster plays a lesbian cameo, pun fully intended).

There’s two major movie releases today, and so Caroline Framke sat down with director Maryam Keshavarz to talk about her film The Persian Version, translating the Iranian American Experience On-Screen, and Cyndi Lauper (because why not?). Drew made a list of the greatest queer sports movies of all time to mark the release of NYAD, the true story of lesbian swimmer Diana Nyad, in theaters. We also revisited Drew’s original review of the movie from its film festival circuit debut, with new additional reporting on Nyad’s public changing of her stance on trans inclusion in women’s sports.

We wrapped up October with a big finale to our annual “Horror Is So Gay” celebration! Nico looked at how work and class worked in the already queer classic The Haunting of Bly Manor. Valerie looked back on the Final Destination accidents that completely altered her brain chemistry. The queerest horror movie franchise is now and forever will be Chucky. This is the history of lesbian vampires on film that you absolutely do not want to miss. And finally, Carmen wondered, Can Black People be Zombies? (spoiler the answer is more serious than it first appears).

But the jack-o-laterns have been put away, make up has been washed off, and cobwebs are coming down, because now it is November — and with that, we have your monthly streaming guide. Make sure you click that! You don’t want to miss anything new coming up. And here’s what else!

Notes from the TV Team: 

+ After an inconveniently-timed international break, the NWSL playoffs are set to resume this Sunday. Can lesbian icons, Megan Rapinoe and Ali Krieger, extend their playing days by leading their teams to victory? It’s going to be tough: first up, Krieger’s Gotham FC heads to the City of Roses to take on perennial NWSL powerhouse, the Portland Thorns. Then, Rapinoe’s OL Reign takes heads to San Diego to take on the Shield winning Wave. LFG! — Natalie

Gen V Episode 108: “Guardians of Godolkin”

Written by Valerie Anne

We love a bisexual superhero!!!

We open in the aftermath of Sheddy’s death, and Cate is overwhelmed by the inner “what the fuck” thoughts of her peers. She insists she did this to save them, and Sam agrees. Together, they decide to release all the kids being held in the Woods, but Marie wants to find a way to thwart their plans.

Because the school year has been a mess, Vought decides God U needs some good press; they decide to rocket a student directly into The Seven.

Cate and Sam go down into the Woods, and kill one security guard, and get a second to unlock the cells. They lead everyone outside, and Cate tells them they are quite literally superior to humans and it’s time they show the world.

As soon as the prisoners are out, they start wreaking havoc. One kills the first human he finds. Cate mesmers people into not stopping them, and even pushes someone to blow up his own head on a livestream. Chaos.

Emma runs off to find Sam, but he’s lost to her now, and tells her she’s not a hero, she just will do anything for everyone to like her. She cries as he storms off, and realizes she’s suddenly quite tiny. Turns out she has more than one way to use her powers.

Cate and Sam continue their rampage, and Marie finds a button that locks down the school. The Vought CEO pulls a hail mary and has her board members call the top students and offer them an instant spot in The Seven if they kill the escapees. Ashley calls Marie herself, and sweetens the deal by saying she’ll get her a meeting with her sister.

Cate has a supe take down the helicopter the board was going to use to escape, but Andre helps land it relatively safely. Jordan gets the board into the helicopter for safety, Andre tases Sam, Marie saves Jordan from being attacked with a barrage of blood knives, but then Marie sees Cate reaching out to touch Jordan and the adrenaline gets the best of her and she blows up Cate’s arm to stop her from touching Jordan and making them do something against their will.

Cate is screaming and Sam is tased and it seems like maybe the battle’s done and they kind of won…until Homelander shows up. He scolds Marie for attacking fellow supes, and she is confused because that’s a gross misrepresentation of the situation. Before she can defend herself, he eye-beams her.

In the aftermath, Marie, Emma, Jordan, and one of the Woods kids are accused of the massacre, and Cate and Sam are touted as heroes. Marie wakes up in a hospital room with Jordan, Emma, and Andre, and realizes there are no doors on this room they are in. And she has no idea where they are.

Before the episode ends, we see the now abandoned Woods, and THE Billy Butcher wandering its halls.

I’m glad Gen V got picked up for a second season, because I loved this friendship-based version of the asshole superhero show, and I look forward to seeing these teens again.

Doom Patrol Episode 411: “Portal Patrol”

Written by Valerie Anne

I mean someone named Kaleidoscope HAS to still be queer, right?

Sadly Casey is still missing from this episode, even though we’re running out of time for my ship to properly set sail, but anything can happen in next week’s finale.

This week, the Doom Patrol is stuck in the timestream, and still in desperate need for their longevity. And on top of it all, Jane is still hearing voices begging her to “say it.”

Between Keeg and Vic’s tech, they find spots in the timeline to try to get their longevity back. Jane and Larry go to the late 90s/early 2000s manor, Rouge ends up at the Ant Farm, and Cliff long before the Doom Patrol was ever started, and they all realize they have to try to get the longevity from various versions of Chief.

Jane ends up just talking to Chief though, and tells him about how she can’t find her alters anymore. All she hears from them is “Say it” over and over. She has a puzzle she has to solve, and she never thought it was possible, but she really does love her friends in the Doom Patrol. Jane says she wants peace, and she wants to do more than Kay made her for. Chief says that maybe Kay is the one who needs peace, since she’s the one who went through the trauma. But no, Jane realizes all at once that she knows what she needs to say. Kay wasn’t the only one who went through that trauma. They all did. They were created because of it, they all bear the memory of it. She says her trauma out loud, plainly, and suddenly the puzzle is on the table before her, almost completed, save for one piece.

Jane puts the last piece in and a picture appears, an image of swirling colors, and suddenly she’s in the underground, and her alters are back, and they’re smiling. They lead her onto the train, and as it pulls out of the station, The Underground begins to crumble. Kay reassures her, says they don’t need it anymore. “We’re all together now.” Kay wants to show her what she’s been building, and the train pulls into a whole world made of those swirling colors from the puzzle.

When everyone gets yeeted back to the pod, Jane says they don’t need longevity, they need each other, because together, as one, they can do anything. Cliff is wondering who this persona is because it sure as hell isn’t the Jane that cursed him out a few hours ago, but Jane says that she is all of them now. She is the Kaleidoscope. Though she’s still working out exactly what that means.

Renewed with a new sense of verve, they head back to the present to kick some (zombie) butt.

All Rise 317: “I Will Not Go Quietly”

Written by Natalie

If “bless your heart” were a photo…

Remember last week when Ness lamented not having a substantive case — something that mattered — to dig her teeth into? Well, this week, she gets her wish: Mia Avilla, a young aspiring nurse, is in jail after a routine traffic stop revealed that she had an outstanding warrant in her home state of Texas. Her offense? Medical identity theft.

The story behind the charge is one that’s only possible in Texas, post-Dobbs: Mia stole someone else’s identity to avoid a potential civil suit for her abortion. But somehow, the police get wind of Mia’s actions and raid her doctor’s office soon, as she’s recovering from the procedure. Mia’s doctor is arrested (on felony charges) and she’s forced to abscond to California to avoid arrest.

In court, Ness asks that the warrant be quashed but before Judge Carmichael can render her verdict, in walks the Mesa County, Texas district attorney, seeking Mia’s extradition. Ness sees the Texas DA’s pursuit for what it is: an attempt to punish a woman for having an abortion, even though state law precludes that. With Judge Carmichael’s assist, Ness is able to stall the proceedings by requiring that the Texas DA provide more than an ID card to prove Mia’s identity. While they await a copy of Mia’s birth certificate, Ness and Amy try to reason with the Texas DA, urging her to reconsider her actions. But the DA is a true believer and refuses to budge. Ness chides her for her hypocrisy — for claiming to be pro-life while clinging to guns and doing nothing about school shootings — but the DA remains resolute.

Since the DA is determined to weaponize Texas law against her client, Ness uses California law to outmaneuver the DA. She and Amy shift their strategy from attempting to quash the warrant to simply getting Mia released on bail. The DA protests, noting that Mia has already fled prosecution once before and no bail bondsman would support such a flight risk. Ness and Amy agree and note that the end of cash bail in Los Angeles County means that Mia can be released, as long as she’s not a threat to others. Judge Carmichael agrees and releases Mia on her own recognizance. But the ending isn’t a completely happy one: even though Mia’s free, she can’t go back home to Texas… if she does, that warrant will still be waiting for her.

After court, everyone gathers at a local Mexican restaurant to lament the day’s proceedings. Lola’s dismayed that her daughter will grow up in a world with fewer rights than she had. Ness insists that she won’t go back to the 1950s. Amy and Rachel take the whole scene in and, with Ness’ support, decide to call off their planned merger and keep Audobon, Quinn & Associates an independent female-led boutique law firm.

Boobs on Your Tube: “Gen V” Takes Explosive Quite Literally in This Season’s Penultimate Episode

If you’re reading this that means you made to the end of the week and you know what? Good for you!

This week Drew interviewed Our Lady J (it’s so good!) about her work writing on Transparent, Pose, and now returning back to love performance. The Morning Show went full gay spy mode and you Christina was right on top of it. Drew donned the persona of your film bro girlfriend to catch you up on Martin Scorsese’s canon ahead of his newest release Killers of the Flower Moon and also she promises that “it really demands the big screen and your undivided attention!”

It’s Hall-o-weekend and that means we’re DEEP on our Horror Movie shit! We two separate pieces dedicated solely to Nightmare on Elm Street — Stef mediated on A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors and the horror of generational trauma, while Riese dove into how Nightmare On Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge ruined its gay lead’s life. By the way, we’ve also been wondering, Where Are All the Scream Kings? And Nico wrapped us up with What Three Horror Movies Capture Your Evil Essence, According to Your Sign — just in time for your weekend binge watching needs.

Have fun out there this weekend!🎃 And here’s what else you missed.

Notes from the TV Team: 

+ Our Flag Means Death aired its finale this week, and while the crux of the episode centered on Stede and Blackbeard reuniting (again) and the uptight British navy, we were also treated to another Jim/Archie smooch! I’ve been a big fan of this whole season, loved the, albeit brief, additions of Mary Read and Anne Bonny, and was pleasantly surprised by how much deeper I fell in love with the ensemble cast. And even though Olu and Zheng are an ADORABLE pairing, my kingdom for Zheng to kiss a woman next season. I am who I am. — Nic

Gen V Episode 107: “Sick”

Written by Valerie Anne

I didn’t know this was the penultimate episode of the season when I started it, but I sure figured it out by the end.

We open at the Woods, where the scientist and Shetty are watching teens locked in a room with an infected supe. She wants to make the virus airborne, which makes the scientist uncomfortable but makes Shetty’s eyes sparkle.

Shetty gets a call from Cate, and Shetty tells Cate to go to her house and wait for her. Cate hangs up, wincing from the thoughts of everyone in the diner where she’s meeting her friends. Her friends who are still mad, including Jordan, who shifts into their masc form, yells at Cate, and storms off.

Marie follows Jordan, and tells them that even if they can’t fully trust Cate, they have to trust that she’s on their side. She also says Jordan has to stop shifting into masc form whenever they want to prove their point. They kiss and Jordan decides they should snoop in Shetty’s office. Marie wonders who would believe them over Vought… unless they take it to someone like Victoria Neuman. So they do and find a file about a plane crash that killed Shetty’s family. Then the scientist stumbles into Shetty’s office and conveniently mumbles Shetty’s evil plan.

Victoria Neuman speaks at the town hall, and it does… not go well. The students riot, yelling about not wanting to be controlled. One guy in a red “keep America safe” hat is on Team Homelander, which is a decidedly incorrect stance.

Marie catches Victoria as she’s being escorted to safety, and Victoria knows who Marie is and is excited to talk to her one on one. Victoria tells Marie to use her powers to assess her, and Marie realizes Victoria is a supe. Victoria has the same blood powers as Marie, and is her benefactor. Marie tells Victoria about the Woods and the virus and Victoria says she’ll handle it, that Marie should focus on becoming the first Black woman in The Seven, so she can make real change.

When Shetty gets home to talk to Cate, Cate accuses her of manipulating her, and Shetty swears she loves her and wants to keep her safe, even in the face of the truth of the virus. She takes Cate’s ungloved hands as a sign of trust, and Cate lays her head in Shetty’s lap. When Shetty gets home to talk to Cate, Cate accuses her of manipulating her, and Shetty swears she loves her and wants to keep her safe, even in the face of the truth of the virus. She takes Cate’s ungloved hands as a sign of trust, and Cate lays her head in Shetty’s lap.

Marie and her friends get a text from Cate to come to Shetty’s, and when they get there, Cate’s eyes are red from using her powers, and she makes Shetty she tell them everything, and Shetty admits that the school is a front to study supes, and that she wants to kill them all because Homelander took down the plane that killed her family.

Once she’s done confessing, Cate makes Shetty slit her own throat, then mesmers Marie into not helping, so the teens can do nothing but watch Shetty die. Cate swears this is the only way.

Victoria meets with the scientist and gets the last of the supe virus. After she confirms he’s the only one who can replicate it, she gives him the Neuman’s Own… and explodes his head.

All Rise 316: “Passionfruit”

Written by Natalie

Finally, the day Ness has waited for has finally arrived: she’s trying her first case as a lawyer. Granted, when she imagined this moment, she thought she’d be fighting the good fight — doing something substantive, fighting for real justice — but Amy and Dre remind her that everyone’s got to start somewhere. For Ness, that somewhere is with the absolute worst client ever.

Camilla Kahlo is a yoga instructor/actor/influencer and embodies all the worst stereotypes about all those professions. She arrives at Audubon, Quinn, and Associates with her boyfriend, Emmanuel, in tow, recording her every move. Amy tries to stop the recording — rightfully concerned about privileged communications being documented — but the couple insists. Emmanuel wants the footage for publicity and a possible documentary and Camilla just wants to reassure her followers that she cares about them more than the money.

“Okay, well, someone died because you violated a court order and continued to sell contaminated products to the public,” Amy reminds their client.

“Allegedly,” Emmanuel adds, as he zooms around the room, recording with his iPhone.

At this point, if this were a real law office, Dre would’ve taken Emmanuel’s phone and smashed it with the back of his loafer, but because this is television, they allow Camilla and Emmanuel to persist. Carmilla insists that she never even used the products she was hawking; it was all just business and, as such, she shouldn’t be held responsible for anyone’s death. When they get to court, Ness offers that as a defense, asserting that the blame falls on the maker of the poisonous goods, not Carmilla. But Judge Carmichael points to the court order Carmilla violated and dispenses with the motion… and they’re going to trial.

This is the first time we’ve seen Ness back in the Halls of Justice since her stabbing and, oddly, All Rise doesn’t grapple with any lingering trauma. Whatever nervousness Ness experiences is chalked up to first day jitters. It feels like such a missed opportunity to give the character more depth and build her relationship with Luke, another recovering victim of the courthouse insurrection.

Ultimately, Carmilla is doomed by her own missteps — she’s found guilty of distributing poisoned foods and medicine — but she avoids a murder conviction. It feels like a pyrrhic victory for Ness who nurses a drink later at an impromptu HOJ cocktail party. But her mentor, Judge Carmichael, reminds her that it’s important to celebrate what she accomplished: she planted her flag as an attorney. She assures Ness that her indefatigable fighting spirit is going to make her an excellent attorney.

Doom Patrol Episode 410: “Tomb Patrol”

Written by Valerie Anne

I hope the thing Jane has to say is that she loves her friends and also Casey.

This week at Doom Manor, Rouge answers the door to find Isabelle Feathers, but she’s not there to Immortus them all to death, she’s there to invite them to her one-woman show.

But the thing is, the Doom Patrol is in a sad state. They’re all dying without their longevity, and they’re kind of pathetically accepting their fate. Larry and Mr. 104 are planning how to go out on their own terms, Rita blobs up just to ease her arthritis pain. They’re a mess.

Upstairs, Jane is trying to do her puzzle, and starts thinking about Casey and their duet. As she thinks about her, suddenly she realizes she found pieces of her puzzle that fit together. For the first time, she starts to be able to actually make some connections and start her puzzle in earnest. But then she gets flashes of Kay and her dad and the pieces stop fitting, and she finds herself in the Underground, where it looks like the other alters got raptured. She gets more flashes of Kay and her dad but also of Casey and everything is a whirl until Cliff snaps her out of it and she realizes the parts of the puzzle she had put together have come undone.

Cliff and Jane decide to go on a road trip to Florida to see Cliff’s family, but on the way Cliff’s leg freezes and they almost crash, and then when Jane is driving, she gets more flashes of Kay and her dad and hears voices whispering, “Say it,” over and over. When they almost crash again, they decide to pack it and go home.

At the manor, Rouge calls a team meeting and says the key to getting their longevity back is in a growth on Isabelle’s neck. When no one seems interested in helping her, she decides to go to Isabelle’s show on her own.

While this is happening, Lane from Gilmore Girls Dr. Margaret Yu comes home to her boyfriend butt, Nicolas, and reads him a letter from his brother Teddy. He wants to take over the world, starting with Margaret…who Teddy turned into a WereButt.

After a failed attempt at family dinner, everyone joins Rita for a nightcap, and they reminisce about the adventures they’ve had. And as they do, upstairs, Jane’s puzzle pieces start fitting themselves back together. Suddenly they realize Rouge must have gone to Isabelle’s show, so Rita tries to rouse them for one last mission. No one seems game, so Rita is going to go on her own, until she collapses. This gives the team the motivation to do this mission for her; they’re not ready to say goodbye after all.

When they get to the theater, they see an army of WereButts, and Cliff is worried nothing has changed from the apocalyptic future they saw, but then that theory is debunked when Vic returns, more Cyborg than ever.

They run inside the theater… and Isabelle sucks them all into a portal.

Boobs on Your Tube: “Our Flag Means Death” Is Once Again the Queerest Celebration on the High Seas

It’s another Friday and once again you’ve made it!

We spent the week deep in the Flana-verse in celebration of Mike Flanagan’s latest and final Netflix horror series The Fall of the House of Usher. Kayla wrote you a quiz, Which Queer Character From the Flana-verse Are You? And then we had your daily – yes, daily! — recaps of every episode of the series, brought to you by Kayla and Valerie as an incomparable spooky tag-team. Valerie also would like to know if knew that the superheroes on Doom Patrol are queer as hell?! Christina is here with your weekly recap of The Morning Show’s Mommy Issues.

BIG NEWS around the Autostraddle TV way is Kristen Stewart’s gay ghost hunter show
Living for the Dead, which has hot paranormal investigators and Big Gay Feelings. We’re also still celebrating Horror Is So Gay 2 (we love a sequel), with Kayla and Drew’s 30 Scariest Queer Horror Movie Moments and Drew’s retrospective on Jennifer Reeder’s Girlhoods of Stuff. The trailer for Chrishell Stause’s Lifetime lesbian pregnancy thriller is here.

We had a WELCOME return to the Autostraddle TV Roundtable, and this conversation was a doozy — Were We Ever So Young? Couples We Used To Ship and Were Extremely Wrong About.

And here’s what else you may have missed!

Our Flag Means Death Episode 206: “Calypso’s Birthday” and Episode 207: “Man on Fire”

Written by Nic

When we last left the crew of the Revenge, they had just forgiven Blackbeard and welcomed him back onto the ship, now a certified “safe space” for all of their big big pirate Feelings. Now that Blackbeard is turning over a new raid-less leaf, the crew has been a bit, well, bored. As Archie tells a rousing tale of one birthday where she allegedly fought her way out of a snake, the crew realizes they haven’t had a proper romp in ages, so they make up a holiday, Calypso’s birthday, as an excuse to get dressed up and celebrate. They dock somewhere to pick up party supplies and booze, and there’s a Pride flag waving in the background, so you know this is about to be the queerest celebration on the high seas.

One of my favorite things about these latest two episodes has been getting to see Archie’s personality and just how much Jim loves it. She is excitable and joyful and goes all the way in on everything she does while Jim watches in adoration. The two turn all the way up during the party, they laugh, they dance, at least until the whole crew is attacked by the pirate Ned Low, whose raid record Blackbeard broke a few episodes back. The attack doesn’t last long though, because the other crew completely turns on their captain once they see how happy the crew of the Revenge is; it’s possible to have an amicable relationship with one’s captain, turns out. Stede ends up killing Ned Low by making him walk the plank; his first actual pirate kill.

The crew docks at the Republic of Pirates, shocked to find out that instead of being shunned thanks to how they left things with Spanish Jackie, they are lauded as heroes thanks to Stede killing Ned Low. While Stede reckons with his newfound fame, and Ed with his newfound soft life, our favorite queers take it upon themselves to play matchmaker. That’s right, my girl Zheng is back and Jim and Archie are determined to get her and Olu back together! It’s just so wholesome and sweet and I want every single good thing in the world for Olu.

After Olu and Zheng talk, he decides he’s going to join her on her ship, and Jim and Archie want to know if there’s room for them too! They’d even share a bunk if necessary since you know, that’s what they’re already doing. Stede is none too happy to hear that his crew wants to leave so he duels with Zheng about it. Before a winner can be declared though, coordinated bombs go off in every ship in Zheng’s fleet, leaving her shell-shocked as a cannonball flies directly toward her.

Gen V Episode 106: “Jumanji”

Written by Valerie Anne

I wish I understood why this episode was called Jumanji. Is it a reference to the Woods? No one played a single game.

To try to right her wrongs, Cate uses her powers to make her friends remember everything she made them forget, but this strain is too much on her brain and she ends up sucking Marie, Andre, and Jordan into her memoryscape.

The first memory they see is a few days after Cate’s powers manifested, when she told her six year old brother to go away and never come back. Her mother is freaking out, and doesn’t want to be near her own daughter, and locks her in her bedroom with gloves, Elsa-style, for nine years.

The dean comes in and offers her help learning how to control her power. She gives her pills to help her voices go away, and gives her the first hug she’s had in almost a decade. It’s no wonder she did whatever the dean asked of her.

They jump again to Cate meeting Luke, but that memory shifts when Luke addresses Andre directly, and says he knows he and Cate cheated. Jordan is pissed, but then they’re all yoinked into Jordan’s memory, and they watch Jordan help knock Luke out for Brink, and Brink rewarding them by making them his TA. Femme Jordan from the memory confronts the visiting Masc Jordan and says they could have done something to help Luke.

Suddenly they find themselves at the Woods, and see Luke and Sam hooked up to each other, Cate making Luke forget and telling him his brother is dead, for what seems like not the first time. Cate had tried to ask to stop, but they won’t let her.

Then they end up in Marie’s memory, the bloody bathroom where her parents died. The memory of her sister tells her she’ll never forgive her, and Marie realizes this is Cate talking, so she calls up to Cate, says they’re all victims of these adults who have been puppeteering their lives since they first were given Compound V.

They get Cate to wake up, and even though they don’t know if they can trust her, Marie, at least, wants to let Cate try to earn that trust back. They decide the real problem is Dean Shetty, and that she might be the answer to their problems.

And they’re not wrong. Because while all this was happening, Shetty was making her scientist make a deadly, contagious virus that only attacks people with Compound V in their system. She wants to wipe out the supes.

Doom Patrol Episode 409: “Immortimas Patrol”

Written by Valerie Anne

Once more, with feeling!

I wish y’all could have seen the look of pure delight when I realized this week’s episode is a MUSICAL EPISODE. Happy Immortimas to me!!!!

You see, when Isabel Feathers/Immortus had her temper tantrum, she yeeted the Doom Patrol into an alternate reality where every day is Immortimas Day, a day dedicated to worshipping Immortus. It reminds me of the Buffy episode where Jonathan made a reality where he was the titular “Superstar.”

Dorothy and the sex ghosts kick off our opening number, singing about loving Immortimas Day. Casey sneaks into Jane’s bedroom window so she can be the first to wish her Happy Immortimas Day, and they join the big group sing. Cliff and Larry look like their old selves, not their robot and mummy selves, and Vic is there, too; they’re all singing lines like, “Nothing is weird, everything’s fine, we’re all okay on Immortimas Day.”

Jane and Casey end up singing a lovely little duet. Casey sings about having butterflies, hoping Jane feels the same way. Jane is also singing about feeling conflicted, wondering if Casey is the key. They talk about being flung from the timestream, and their hands touch briefly, making Casey panic and awkwardly excuse herself.

Later, Casey finds Jane painting, and asks if they’re okay. Jane doesn’t answer, so Casey asks about her painting. She’s painting the Underground, but doesn’t remember what it is or why it’s important. Casey likes it all the same.

Rouge calls a team meeting to explain that she regained her memory and became self-aware that she’s involuntarily singing, one of my favorite musical tropes. She shows them clips of their interviews and one by one they remember the truth, too. Still, not all of them want to leave this candy-coated dreamscape. Everything here is… easier.

Jane finds Casey and says that now that she has her memories back, she’s feeling a bit all over the place; she thinks Casey is great, but her body is not only hers, she has her alters to think about. Casey fakes a smile and says she understands, but Jane can tell she’s hurt and she feels bad about it.

When Immortus arrives for dinner, they plan on playing it cool but Rouge goes rogue and tells Isabel they want to go home. And it’s true of more people in the group now; Dorothy doesn’t want to hide anymore, Casey isn’t finding the adventure she thought she would.

Mr. 104 gives a speech about wanting to go back, and when he wonders how he can trust his own feelings when different people have been writing his backstory, the camera cuts to Casey, still learning how to live off the comic book pages. When he wonders how he can trust his feelings when he’s not even sure who he is, the camera cuts to Jane, who has been struggling with what it means to be an alter.

Isabel hates that everyone has stopped worshipping her, so she puppets them into one last musical number about how they’re all doomed, and then shunts them back to their real timeline, their real (aging) bodies.

Boobs on Your Tube: “Our Flag Means Death” Welcomes Minnie Driver as Famously Lesbian Pirate, Anne Bonny

You made it through another week, and we’re here to talk about all the TV and film coverage you missed while you were maybe busy living your lives! It’s time for the grand return of Autostraddle’s Horror Is So Gay series (named “Horror Is So Gay 2” like all great movie sequels). We kicked off the festivities with 42 Queer Horror Movies and Shows To Stream This Month. Also this week, did you see that spectacularly gay episode of The Morning Show? Because Christina is all over it. Our Flag Means Death is back (more on lesbian specifics of that below) and Nic gave first thoughts. Drew wondered how likely it was that a dyke could ruin her life wearing the iconic outfits of the fashion-forward Passages, which is now streaming. Speaking of iconic, Drew and Riese joined forces to refresh our 25 Streaming Movies With Hot Lesbian Sex Scenes. Kayla reflected on the very honest and queer depiction of anorexia from Netflix’s Everything Now. Valerie celebrated the trans joy of Monster High 2. There was some sad updates on Survivor for the gays. Drew reviewed the d’Or-winning courtroom drama Anatomy of a Fall, and a hot top from us to you: that review has an intro sentence that you don’t want to miss.

And finally… Happy Fall of the House of Usher Week to all the spooky gays who celebrate!! Valerie wrote you a spoiler-free review (perfect if you haven’t watched yet!), while Kayla is going to spend the next seven days going episode-by-episode to recap, deep dive, and obsessively analyze each detail: here is episode one “A Midnight Dreary” and here’s episode two “The Masque of the Red Death.” 🔪💊🪞🩸🥃

Our Flag Means Death Episode 204: “Fun and Games”

Written by Nic

These are the faces of two lesbian pirates about to meddle in some gay drama.

So, remember how  when I last wrote about Our Flag Means Death, I jokingly ended with “Anne Bonny, you up?” WELL GUESS WHO SURE WAS UP AND APPEARED WITHIN THE FIRST 10 MINUTES OF EPISODE 4 WITH HER GAL PAL MARY READ!

If you guessed Anne Bonny as played by MINNIE FUCKING DRIVER, you would be 100% correct.

And how do we meet our lesbian pirate lovers?? Well! Blackbeard and Stede’s reunion doesn’t exactly go as planned, and the crew wants Blackbeard off the ship. When they dock, they discover that they’re in the same location where Ed’s old friend Mary Read has settled down with her gal pal, Anne Bonney. The women have put piracy aside for the time being and are selling antiques to anyone who happens upon them. Ed’s delighted to see his old friends and even has an adorable secret handshake with Anne. He is less delighted though, that Stede followed him off the ship what with them being broken up and all. While the men have the kind of non-conversation only recent exes can have, Anne and Mary look at each other knowingly and decide to invite them to stay for dinner. A gay ole dinner party?! Count. Me. In!

Cut to four homos, drinking and reminiscing about how they met and telling tales of their escapades. It turns out, Anne would have loved Pretty Little Liars, because her Thing is cutting off people’s faces. Anne and Mary have this play fighting/fake mad/stab each other for funsies relationship going on, and Stede is unsurprisingly confused as all heck about it. But you see, when you’ve been with someone for as long as Anne and Mary have, you need to keep things interesting. What’s a little threat of light poisoning between pirate loves, you know? As they eat their dinner, Anne reveals that Stede left his wife twice, so he must really love pirating, but of course, dearest Blackbeard didn’t know that Stede left him to go back to Mary, and he is PISSED. The two have a surprisingly real heart-to-heart about it, but are soon interrupted by Anne and Mary who can’t stop laughing at how earnest the men are being. Men are so emotional, eh?

While the women are making points about what it takes to have a long and successful relationship, the truth of the matter is, they’re meddling in other people’s lives to avoid dealing with their own fears. Anne eventually calls out Mary for making excuses about leaving because she’s afraid she’s too old to go back to pirate life full-time. Naturally, Anne storms out and quite literally lights everything on fire so the two have no choice but to return to their life on the seas.

There have been several portrayals of Anne and Mary (again, real life people), but their chaotic energy in Our Flag Means Death’s version was everything I could have hoped for. Now, all we need is for Anne, Mary, and Zheng to find each other for the most badass lady pirate team-up the world has ever seen.

Gen V Episode 105: “Welcome to the Monster Club”

Written by Valerie Anne

I knew there was a self-preservation reason Jordan went masc-form before kissing Marie for the first time. Sweet angel has trauma.

We ended last week with Marie not knowing how she ended up in bed with Jordan, but we learn this week that she’s not the only one with time missing. In fact, when their friends reconvene, they realize they’re not only missing a party’s worth of memories, but days’ worth.

When Marie goes outside, she finds Emma asleep in the pool as if it were a bathtub, still quite large. They find social media footage of Marie and Jordan making out, and of Giant Naked Emma being the life of the party. Emma says that the first time she got big, her mother called her a monster and told her to never do it again, so she never did.

Emma asks Marie to dish about Jordan, but they’re interrupted by Sam… who they don’t remember meeting, or saving. Sam says they made his own brother forget him sometimes but he’s determined to fix this.

When they get back to their room, Emma wants to hear about Marie’s new “themfriend” and Marie realizes that she does really like Jordan and becomes determined to tell them… but then also she uses her blood powers to find a tracker near her collarbone. She books it to Cate to tell her about what she found, but Cate just looks at her sadly and touches her with her gloveless hand. Marie realizes what she’s doing a moment too late, and Cate erases her memory.

Jordan is spiraling, talking to their RA, worrying that Marie’s freak-out wasn’t about the missing memories, but was because Jordan was in their femme form. Jordan admits they’ve had to date girls only in their masc form before, and the RA asks if Jordan knows that’s how Marie feels, and Jordan admits they didn’t actually ask, they just assumed.

So Jordan goes to find Marie and starts to mention their earlier conversation but… Marie doesn’t remember that conversation. Before they can investigate that, they see Marie’s collarbone wound, which she also doesn’t remember. Marie holds her hand over the same spot on Jordan and realizes there’s something in there.

Cate goes to the dean and cries because she hates doing this to her friends, but the dean promises she’s helping keep her friends safe. But then Cate gets a text that her friends found Rufus, who they think is wiping their memories, so she goes to stop them from doing a murder. While she’s there, Emma calls them and says Sam told her that it’s Cate wiping their memories, and Cate confesses, giving Andre his memories back.

He calls her a monster and walks away.

One other interesting thing we learned this week: that the Woods scientist asks to study Marie’s powers, but the dean says Marie has a “benefactor” and that she’s off-limits. Curiouser and curiouser.

Boobs on Your Tube: Gen V Is Giving Gen Z a Run for Their Money in the Gayest Race

Happy Friday! Would you like to talk about some TV?

Well first, Valerie reviewed the first few episodes of Gen V (more on that below) and thus far she’s having a great time with the super-powered unlikely friendships and found family vibes! Anya is here to introduce you to the queer women of Survivor Season 45. Our forever Bravo dyke Kayla comes to you with two pieces of hot news: First of all, Jenna Lyons went to a gay bar (the famed Henrietta Hudson’s in New York) and there’s a whole conversation about finger-banging. Second, a trailer dropped for the next season Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and Kayla swears that “sapphic scandals” will abound. The Morning Show is doing the Mommi Thing  again and Christina Tucker is the only person you want to read on that development. Drew dug deep into the Greta Garbo and Marlene Dietrich Affair and also got very high to watch — yes, this is the real title — Saving the Gorillas: Ellen’s Next Adventure, you don’t want to miss it.

It’s October and we have your guide to everything gay, on every streaming service, just because we love you!

And now, here’s what else!

Gen V Episode 104: “The Whole Truth”

Written by Valerie Anne

Gen V is giving Gen Z a run for their money in the gayest race, and I approve this message.

We pick up episode four in the aftermath of Sam and Emma’s escape, where the dean is trying to figure out what happened, and where Sam went. Before she leaves the bloody scene, she finds a teeny tiny shoe that gives her a clue about where to look next.

Even though her friends all think she could be dead, it turns out Emma is fine, and hiding out/cleaning up with Sam at an old movie theater. The problem is that, once Emma breaks the news to Sam that his brother is dead, Sam starts to… deconstruct. He hallucinates Television’s Jason Ritter telling him to kill one of the doctors who treated him in The Woods. Emma does her best to comfort him, but he eventually starts rambling about the doctor and takes off.

Meanwhile back at campus, our core crew is being harangued by television personality/metahuman investigator Tek Knight, who tells the dean he wants to investigate Brink and Golden Boy’s deaths so he can redirect attention away from The Woods.

Marie, desperate to find Emma, enlists the help of a psychic, Rufus. He starts off helping her, but then all of a sudden, Marie finds herself alone in his room and he’s naked. Luckily, Jordan spotted this happening and starts pounding on the door, which snaps Marie out of whatever pheromone haze Roofie had her in, and she uses her blood powers to explode his penis. Jordan kicks down the door, and drags Marie away, complimenting her on her new trick. Jordan tells Marie to keep a lower profile while Tek Knight is lurking around, and Marie says that Jordan acts like they don’t care, but Marie knows they do care, they’re just scared. Jordan says that’s not a good way to thank someone for saving them, but the banter turns playful as Marie insists she saved herself, and Jordan says it was a tag-team dicksplosion.

In their next class, Tek Knight acts as a “guest lecturer” and interrogates Marie, who finally confesses that it was actually Jordan who saved the day when Golden Boy exploded. After, the dean reminds Tek to stop going after her Top 5 students, but he assures her that’s not his plan; he plans to pin it on the regular human dean of the school, actually. Naturally she hates this plan, so blackmails him using videos of him fucking inanimate objects, and he leaves without causing more of a fuss, publicly declaring the school’s deaths as unfortunate happenstance.

After class, Jordan yells at Marie because they wanted the credit but not if it was going to get Marie in trouble. Jordan tells Marie she’s smart, and admits that Marie was right and that they’re scared. Then they step forward, shift into their masc self and kiss Marie. Marie is surprised, but after a moment of processing, kisses them back.

Things start to get hot and heavy but then Emma bursts in, and Marie is relieved to see her roommate in one piece. Emma tells them that Sam was talking about a doctor, and Jordan knows where that doctor lives. When the super squad gets there, Sam is terrorizing the doctor and his family, so they work together to stop him. Eventually, Emma gets REAL big, pins him to the ground and talks him down.

Marie starts to promise Sam that they will protect him, when she’s interrupted by a sharp cut to black, and next thing she knows, she’s in Jordan’s bed. More specifically, in bed with Jordan. And if there’s one thing I know, it’s that losing time is never a good sign.

All Rise 313: “Trouble Woman”

Written by Natalie

Anne Heche (1969 – 2022)

Before her untimely death last year, Anne Heche was a frequent guest star on All Rise. She played the irascible Corrine Cuthbert, a lawyer who for the bulk of the show’s second season fervently defending cops accused of wrongdoing, before challenging the show’s protagonist, Lola Carmichael, for her judicial seat. This week, in an episode filmed in early 2022, Corrine reappears in Lola’s courtroom, antagonizing the judge from the defense’s table. Heche is in her element as Cuthbert, sparring with Simone Missick and leaning into her role as HOJ villain… and it only compounds the loss. Heche died later that year at 53 and this turn as Corrine Cuthbert was her last television appearance.

Meanwhile, Ness is working her way back from her near death experience. Aloud, she seemingly laments that she’s still stuck in the office — overseeing the firm’s Pharma case and supervising a slew of paralegals — but the moment she’s forced to talk about what happened, emotions buoy to the surface… and it’s clear that she’s not yet ready to step in a courtroom. But even at the offices of Audubon, Quinn & Associates, drama finds Ness: a paralegal inadvertently creates a breach that leaks the firm’s confidential documents to the opposing counsel.

When one of the firm’s partners rages about the mistake, Ness takes the blame for the error. Despite the leak, the documents are still hidden from the opposition’s view by a digital key but the opposition is seeking access due to the firm’s negligence. Andre rants about how much the mistake could cost their client — which, if I didn’t already hate this guy, I do now — and Ness promises to fix things.

When there’s no quick solution to the leak, the firm brings in the opposing counsel to talk settlement. The OC is all bluster and pushes the firm to settle for $30M to buy his silence. But Ness rides in before the deal is agreed to and assures the opposing counsel that he’ll be the one paying them money. It was the opposing counsel’s secret server that caused the breach and Ness uncovers that their firm isn’t alone in being targeted. Andre beams at Ness’ discovery (though he doesn’t apologize for his mistake, natch) and promises to send him a bill for wasting their time.

As she’s heading out, Ness collects a note, celebrating her work, from the firm’s lead partner, Amy Quinn. She includes a lady of justice statue with her note… which I guess is supposed to suggest that Ness is truly a lawyer now but all I can think is how much it looks like that trophy they killed Sam Keating with in the first season of How to Get Away With Murder. Given how this episode ends — with Lola being threatened by a serial killer — I’m left a little worried about how the rest of this season is gonna go.

Only Murders in the Building Episode 310: “Opening Night”

Written by Valerie Anne

I’m so glad we get another season of these weirdos.

In the season finale of Only Murders in the Building, Loretta is delighted to watch the Murder Trio work. On the topic of Donna, their number one suspect, Loretta remembers hearing Donna throw up in the bathroom and suggests that if she’s sick, that might be more motive for her to go above and beyond to make sure her son’s first show goes well, at any cost. She also has the bloody hanky they’ve been looking for.

And just like that it’s opening night of Death Rattle: The Musical. Jonathan takes his leading man cocktail, and Mabel gives Donna flowers that are a ruse to get her into KT’s office. There, the trio starts their song and dance but Donna interrupts them and confesses to poisoning Ben. And she’s not even sorry. She says she didn’t push him down the elevator shaft though… that is, until they show her the bloody hanky, which has a lipstick mark on it that matches her signature color. Suddenly Donna changes her tune and says she did do it, and that she has stage 4 lung cancer, so she asks them to wait until after the final curtain to turn her in.

The only problem with that plan is that Jonathan is Not Okay after taking his pills and can’t go on, and for some reason they don’t have a single understudy or swing, so Oliver goes on in the lead role instead.

In the wings between scenes, Mabel overhears Loretta confessing to Dickie that she’s his mother and that even before she met him, there was nothing she wouldn’t have done for him, and at the same time Mabel looks out into the audience and sees Donna telling Cliff that she’ll have to turn herself in after the show. Then Mabel remembers Donna and Cliff’s pre-show ritual of Donna kissing Cliff on the lips, then kissing his pocket hankie, and she knows the truth.

Mabel finds Cliff in the rafters and he confesses that he fought with Ben that night because he was with him when Ben realizes, in real time, that Donna was the one who poisoned him. The actual shove into the elevator shaft was an accident, but Cliff just left the scene of the crime after. Donna stops Cliff from playing the role of sandbag, and everyone scurried out onto the stage for curtain call. (Including Mabel, hilariously.)

Afterwards, the cops arrest Donna and Cliff, and the cast and crew gather for an afterparty. The show was positively reviewed, and everyone is happy. Tobert is moving to LA for a gig, and Loretta might to, tempting Mabel and Oliver respectively, though they both currently decide to stay, while leaving the option open. (If the show decides to spend time in LA next season.)

But before the party is over, there is a shot through the window of Charles’ apartment, and a body slumps to the floor… but it’s Sazz, Charles’ stunt double, who bleeds out on the floor. Looks like the trio might have another murder to solve after all.

Overall I really loved this season, even though it was slightly less gay than last season, and they did severely underuse Tony nominee Ashley Park. Meryl Streep and Paul Rudd were better guest stars than anyone they’ve had on this show so far, and really added fun elements to this season. I’m glad this show got renewed, because it’s such a fun little murder show!

The Boys Spinoff Gen V Asks, “What if Any Ol’ A**hole College Student Had Powers”

If Prime Video’s The Boys asks the question, “What if any ol’ assholes had powers,” its spinoff Gen V asks, “What if any ol’ asshole college student had powers.” And luckily, Gen V is already much queerer than its predecessor.

The show takes place at Godolkin University School of Crimefighting, where hopeful heroes train and hone their skills with the goal of getting assigned to protect a city, or, in rare cases, selected to be an elite member of Vought International’s The Seven, the most famous (read: most heavily marketed) superheroes in America, maybe even the world.

Gen V definitely assumes you’ve watched The Boys. Right off the bat there are references to the way Season 3 ended, and they reference characters from the original franchise throughout. Now, I don’t personally think it’s 100% necessary to have watched The Boys, if you’re okay with missing the occasional reference or having to do a little extra legwork to pick up context, but it would definitely help. For example, the show talks a lot about Compound V without ever explaining it, because in The Boys they already covered the reveal that people weren’t just naturally born with superpowers, they were victims of an experiment where parents were paid to give their babies a serum called Compound V. Gen V is very much happening concurrently with The Boys, and Vought’s fingerprints are all over the school.

That said, if you DO watch The Boys, the general tone and vibe will be familiar to you. It’s gory and graphic while being funny and irreverent. It’s definitely not for the squeamish, but if you think you could enjoy a show that will not turn the camera away just because someone’s throat has been slit or their arms have been ripped off, and whose sex scenes are more often meant to make you uncomfortable than to turn you on, and that tackles serious issues without taking them too seriously but somehow without making light of them either, this might be the show for you.

Gen V’s first few episodes dropped over the weekend, and I’ve been thoroughly enjoying getting to know the new characters, and diving into the new themes of the season.

The main hero of our story is Marie Moreau, who learned that she had the power to manipulate (and weaponize) blood when she got her first period. She’s determined to be a real superhero someday, to really make a difference, and maybe even become one of the The Seven. With her on her journey is her roommate, Emma, whose power is the ability to get really small when she purges and big when she eats again. Don’t worry, it’s barely a metaphor, and the parallels between her powers and eating disorders are drawn in neon lights by a classmate and her mother.

I’m really looking forward to Emma’s arc, personally. In three short episodes she’s already gaining confidence as she befriends fellow supes.

I am pretty sure Emma is bisexual (or pansexual!), even though she technically hasn’t said so explicitly. When we meet her, she’s wearing a necklace of rainbow gummy bears, and she talks a lot about wanting to be in a threesome with the most popular m/f couple in school. She also has what I interpreted as a bit of a flirtation with a girl on her dorm floor, and also says she wants to play Queen Maeve in a scene from their drama class. Queen Maeve is the resident bisexual Wonder Woman on The Boys. Emma can even be seen eating a Brave Maeve Pride Bar as a snack at one point.

And history would say they were roommates.

Another one of our core crew is Jordan, a shifter. Jordan isn’t non-binary, they’re… extra-binary? Bi-gender, is the word used for them specifically. They can shift between male- and female-presenting versions of themself on a whim, and does indeed flip back and forth often as it suits them. Most people use they/them pronouns for Jordan, though some use she/her or he/him depending on how they’re presenting. They haven’t corrected anyone yet on their pronouns, but based on how they reacted when their parents exclusively referred to them using he/him pronouns, even when they were shifted into their femme-presenting form, I think probably they/them is a safe bet.

Also what’s fun is that both version of Jordan have different powers; femme Jordan can shoot energy blasts from their hands and masc Jordan is invulnerable.

Jordan was #2 in their class for a long time, but despite being beloved by teachers and students alike, it seems like their “gender fuckery” might not be palatable for wider audiences (as proven by the spectacle of Maeve coming out as bi), so they have that to contend with — since in this world, being a hero is as much (if not more) about marketing and capitalism as it is actually saving people. And it feels very correct that, so far, most of the pushback or discomfort around Jordan’s gender shifting comes from older generations; their peers don’t seem to think much of it. Marie was surprised when they first shifted, but quickly landed on using they/them pronouns without anyone telling her to.

This is neither here nor there but at one point someone suggested Marie’s supe name be Bloody Marie and I think that’s a great idea.

There are more purposefully heavy-handed metaphors throughout; the actually-named Golden Boy who is under so much pressure to be perfect he risks literally burning out at any moment. The charming popular boy whose power is actual magnetism. The pretty popular girl who can get whatever she wants with the flick of her wrist.

Maybe Cate is bi too because those are Theo Crain gloves if I’ve ever seen them.

And while these not-so-regular college kids have to navigate classes and regular college kid stuff, but they also have to untangle larger mysteries like where young supes are disappearing to, all while trying not to lose control of their powers. (PS: Aforementioned pretty popular girl is named Cate and she’s played by Maddie Phillips, who also played queer in Teenage Bounty Hunters.)

While I still don’t know why I like The Boys (and I do!), I have a better understanding of why I enjoy its youthful younger sibling, Gen V. I love unlikely friendships and found family, and this has a bit of both; it’s almost like these teens are a D&D adventuring party and have to use their unique powers and also teamwork to save the day. But also people are literally dying, violently and often. It’s a blast! Sometimes literally! To quote femme-Jordan’s actor London Thor, “Superheroes, college… what could go wrong?”

I also appreciate a show that will use a term like “gender fuckery” and have queer and trans characters without inventing a clean and shiny world where everyone is just okay with it, but also where the queer and trans characters have other personality traits, problems, and goals that have nothing to do with being queer and trans. It’s a dark and twisty show set in a dark and twisty world. It feels weirdly nice to be included in it.