“Euphoria” Episode 208 Recap: The Artist is Unpleasant

During a Q&A for Martin McDonagh’s Seven Psychopaths, the playwright and filmmaker said that he didn’t do rewrites.

It was a bold little piece of self-mythologizing from an artist who had just shown us a messy shadow of his previous work. It had the stylized dialogue and the bursts of violence, but the formal achievements of his plays and previous feature were gone. It felt less like the work of a rule-breaking artist and more like that of a teenager who thinks recreating scenes from Tarantino movies makes him a genius. More than anything, it could’ve used a few rewrites.

I thought about that moment while watching the season two finale of Euphoria, because it was a turning point for me. Two months into film school, I realized the stories we tell about making art need to change as much as the stories themselves. Call it a disillusionment with the auteur theory or a realization that while artists may need some ego, we should emphasize the some.

I have no idea what the last two episodes of Euphoria looked like on the page. I do know that Sam Levinson likes to respond to critique far more than he likes to listen to it. Considering his career consisted only of two failed indies, a screenwriting gig on his dad’s project, a mildly successful movie, and a wildly successful show, it’s a bit silly that he’s dedicated his next movie and the second season of said show to defending himself.

Rue may be the narrator, Nate may share Levinson’s identity and likely sexual proclivities, but this season confirmed that Lexi Howard is the obvious authorial stand-in. So maybe that’s why the last two episodes of an eight-episode season were dedicated to her and her play. What is Euphoria if not a funhouse mirror of other people’s experiences? Lexi’s take on the lives of those around her is as thoughtful and well-written as Levinson’s own.

I’m not sure what’s more disconcerting: the thought that this season of Euphoria was shot without a plan only to be cobbled together in the editing room or the thought that these eight episodes were true to Sam Levinson’s ultimate vision. They’re so scattered — so unsatisfying — all they have is being audacious. That’s Levinson’s whole thing. If you make something bad enough you can just claim it’s art. Not since Duchamp called a urinal Fountain, has an artist attached genius to something so full of piss.

Most of what I said last week continues. We’re still at Lexi’s play, the play is still used to jump in and out of the past (and now the future??) in ways that are incomprehensible, and throughout we check back in with Fez who will never make it to the auditorium.

Let’s start with that last thread since it’s simplest. We rewatch the moment with Fez looking at himself in the mirror and smelling the flowers he bought Lexi. (Finding a movie or show in the editing is a natural part of the process and repeating key moments can be effective, but these two episodes have reused so much footage??) Faye tips off Fez so he knows not to say anything incriminating. She then starts talking to her boyfriend about how Laurie killed Mouse. Ashtray, does not catch on and stabs the boyfriend in the neck.

Fez tries to take the fall for this killing but Ash will have none of that. He starts collecting their guns before hitting Fez in the head and locking himself in the bathroom. There’s not enough footage to stretch this tension across two whole episodes. We keep checking back with Fez but it feels out of place in a way the episode’s only real plot turn should not.

Eventually the feds raid the apartment. Fez is shot. Ash shoots one of them and then is shot and killed. Fez is arrested. None of this hits nearly as hard as it should even if Angus Cloud is doing his best.

Back at the theatre, some more violence is about to take place. Cassie Howard makes her way down the aisle before getting on stage and beginning a rant. Honestly, this is the best theatre of the night, a fact that only stage manager Bobbi seems to recognize.

My job is to literally write personal essays where I sometimes reveal information about the people in my life. In my fiction, I do this even more. But there is a way to be an ethical writer and Lexi has not figured it out! Now, that’s fair enough, she’s a teenager. But this episode seems to imply that Lexi is in the right and that just explains so much about Sam Levinson. His deepest belief is that someone making art, can never be at fault — this includes ethical violations and bad writing.

This season has been cruel to Cassie. I’m so focused on the ways Levinson misses when it comes to race, transness, and cohesive storytelling, that I sometimes forget to dwell on the good ol’ fashioned misogyny. After Cassie makes a fool of herself, her mom rushes the stage, and Maddy rushes the stage and then chases Cassie away, Lexi comes back out to speak to the audience. She apologizes for the delay and quotes Fez telling her that sometimes people need to get their feelings hurt.

There is such an intense Rachel Berry/Ryan Murphy energy coming from Lexi Howard/Sam Levinson. They all share a feeling that because they are the underdog, they cannot be held accountable for any wrongdoing. They are the perpetual victim so their cruelty is earned. Never mind that none of them are even underdogs. At least Murphy has being gay — Levinson just has an inflated idea of his own artistic importance.

Speaking of an inflated idea of one’s artistic importance, our first non-Fez-related cutaway from Lexi’s play takes us to a Dominic Fike concert. Rue has gone over to Elliot’s house to apologize and he asks if he can play her a song. This moment is a really easy one to mock, but honestly… I didn’t hate it. This is one of those times where Zendaya is a good enough actor to save something that really shouldn’t work. She’s a good enough actor that watching her listen to a boy play guitar is compelling television to me.

Our next random moment follows Nate, once again drinking and driving, once again with a gun. He finds his dad in a garage hanging out with a group of vaguely queer people including at least one trans woman. Nate asks if his dad is happier and then tells the other people there that he found videos of his dad “fucking hookers” when he was 11 and since then has had nightmares that Cal was raping him. Cal tells the other people to leave and then Nate confesses that he’s there for revenge. He takes out a flash drive to show his dad that he still has the evidence and then he escorts the cops into the garage where they arrest Cal.

Okay a lot to unpack here. First of all, I thought Nate’s mom said he “darkened” at 8. He didn’t find the tapes until he was 11? Two, what was the point of the Nate Jacobs apology tour, if he had another copy on a flash drive?? Three, other than to trick the audience of this television show, why did Nate have a gun, if he was just turning Cal over to the cops??? And four, why is queerness always shown so negatively???? The episode opener with Cal’s past did nothing to explain why Cal was taping people without their consent. It’s this desire to always do the most that results in a show that feels confusing more than edgy. I want art with “bad” queer people but that’s only radical if their humanity is centered. The way Sam Levinson writes just feels very Hays Code to me.

The rest of the episode takes place during the play except a moment after the play where Rue tells Lexi that she loved the play except wait that’s also part of the play still? I don’t know. I guess it’s supposed to be artful that we don’t get to know which scenes actually happen and which don’t.

The play finally ends and Jules sits next to Rue in the emptying auditorium. She says she loves her and misses her and Rue kisses Jules on the forehead but says nothing. The season ends with Rue walking through the school as she narrates. She says that Jules was her first love even if she was too high throughout their relationship. She then says that she stayed sober throughout the rest of the school year.

For those keeping track at home, Lexi’s play gets two episodes. Rue’s sobriety throughout the rest of the school year gets some narration.

And that’s… the season?? The credits roll confirming what we all could’ve guessed — Sam Levinson responded to criticisms that he should work with other writers by no longer working with other directors. It goes without saying that because of his various identities — including nepotism baby — Levinson gets to do things in a way nobody else would. But I see nothing enviable in using all the resources in the world to make something bad.

Congrats to Martin McDonagh for not having to do rewrites. Congrats to Sam Levinson for not needing a writers room or other directors or a shot list. Congrats to every artist privileged enough to squander their talent with ego. Congrats.

More Glitter:

+ This episode was once again written and directed by Sam Levinson.

+ What happened to Laurie? What was the point of Laurie? Where is Laurie??

+ Laurie is just the most obvious dropped plot thread, but I’m also trying to figure out the point of Minka Kelly’s character and her vaguely erotic relationship with Maddy.

+ I still don’t understand why Ethan played Lexi’s mom in the play.

+ Cassie, Maddy, Kat, and BB end the season in the bathroom together. I don’t know.

+ I’m still pretty sad about Jules getting a special episode that finally deepened her character only for this season to reduce her role to “cheats on Rue with a boy.”

+ It really is impressive how little happened in these eight hours of television considering a million things are always happening.

+ I watched season one for Rue, Jules, and Kat. Or, rather, for Zendaya, Hunter Schafer, and Barbie Ferreira. But now Kat isn’t a character, Jules is barely a character, and even Rue — the narrator of the show — has had her story reduced to focus on the Howards and the Jacobs. So, why am I still watching? Well, because I was paid $80 an episode. The bigger question, I suppose, is why are you still watching?

“Euphoria” Episode 207 Recap: Opening Trite

The only reason I write about Euphoria is because I think it’s good. Don’t get me wrong, it can also be very, very, very bad, but if it wasn’t also good I wouldn’t bother. I went to film school — I’ve seen enough bad movies from people who think they’re geniuses to know the harshest critique I can give something is it doesn’t warrant discussion. When something is just bad, there’s not much to say. Sure, writing a total pan can be a fun creative exercise, but, for me, the point of criticism is to unravel and contextualize a work that provides enough to do that.

When I say I have no idea how to write about last night’s Euphoria I mean that in the worst possible way. It’s my job to recap this show each week so I will try my best to break down the reasons I found this episode incomprehensible. But, to be honest, it’d probably be better for you not to waste any more minutes on an hour of television that doesn’t deserve it. Instead might I suggest watching a work that plays with theatre, performance, and the falseness of reality with far more astuteness? Specifically, might I suggest watching John Cassavetes’ Opening Night?

I brought up John Cassavetes a couple weeks ago, because he’s often the filmmaker cited by auteurs who love improv — even though his films were meticulously planned. My guess is Sam Levinson loves Cassavetes just as much as he loves not planning. This episode may have been a tribute to people who have an intellect for theatre but really it was an attempt to mimic one of the great theatre movies: Opening Night.

Like that film, this episode drifts in and out of stage reality and real life. Unlike that film, it does not work.

We begin at Lexi’s play. She’s taking a deep breath before curtain and then we cut to an overture. In this moment, I realized I’d be a lot more sympathetic to Sam Levinson’s artistic flourishes if he was a teenage girl.

We then go to Lexi at the actual memorial for Rue’s dad. Lexi’s mom is comforting Leslie. Kat, Maddy, and Cassie are in the hallway played by the high school actors portraying them in the play. Lexi (who is playing herself) walks into Rue’s room and Rue (still Zendaya) is snorting her dad’s leftover meds. Lexi and Rue talk for a bit and Lexi reads her a poem and then we pull back to reveal Lexi on stage on a set of Rue’s bedroom. Fake Rue’s back is to the audience which, as a viewer, communicated to me that the play itself was not meant to exist in reality of the show as a play. But I’m not sure that was what it was meant to communicate.

One of the most frequent responses I get when I criticize Euphoria is the suggestion that I just don’t understand its artistry. I’m looking for realism in a show that embraces fantasy. I’m looking for narrative logic in a show that transcends things like character development and plot. I’m looking for substance in an exercise of style. The problem with this suggestion is that nothing Euphoria is doing is that inventive. Putting aside the film and theatre references the show itself presents, television as an art form has taken such greater risks. I can list obvious examples like Twin Peaks and The Leftovers, but even more grounded character pieces like Atlanta, Search Party, I May Destroy You, BoJack Horseman, and Better Things have taken far greater swings than this show has ever attempted.

My complaints with this episode are not things that are objectively bad. There are no rules to television, no rules to art. When I say, for example, that this episode again and again breaks its own internal logic, I’m not saying that’s bad. I’m saying it’s a risk that did not work — for me, as a critic, as the person writing this article that you clicked on, as the person whose opinion you’re reading instead of watching Opening Night.

The entire episode may take place around Lexi’s play, but I wish it had committed to that conceit more. I can make concessions that sometimes we cut from the play to real life inspiration that goes far beyond what Lexi would know. What I find baffling is the combination of Lexi’s play narration and classic Narrator Rue. What I find baffling is the detours that continue our characters from where they were in episode 206 but in ways that feel rushed and provide very little new information. If you’re going to make your episode a concept episode then do that! As is, it feels chaotic and muddled even for a show that’s always chaotic and muddled.

I understand what Levinson was trying to do cutting back and forth between the play and Fez getting ready for the play. The problem is when the play part of that equation is so much wider in scope and so much more confusing than it needs to be. The Fez timeline just becomes another timeline to track. We know early on that he won’t be making it to the play so the moments with him provide little other than dread — a dread that doesn’t get a payoff this episode and that’s undermined by too much else going on.

I’m not even dwelling on the play itself which, again, doesn’t seem to really exist within the reality of the show as a play. Sex Education — the anti-Euphoria — did such a good job in season two giving us a school play that obviously had a budget far beyond an actual school play BUT held a DIY charm that sold it. Here, Lexi has a seemingly endless number of realistic-looking sets. Which, again, isn’t that big of a deal — the far bigger problem is that the substance of the play is even more scattered than the show that contains it. At first, it seems like it’s about Lexi’s parallel relationships with her sister and her best friend. But by the end of the episode we’re getting a dance number, where the Nate Jacobs character and all his fellow locker room guys are being gay with each other.

Again, Lexi doesn’t have to be a good playwright. I’m just not really sure what I’m supposed to think about the whole affair. And, worst of all, I was bored.

I haven’t gone through this episode in my usual linear way, because I’m not sure the value in breaking down every moment here. We get flashbacks like child Lexi and Cassie getting in their dad’s car while he’s high. We get a sequence where Nate and Cassie recreate the Cal and Jules motel scene but then it turns into Cal fucking Nate and then Nate waking up in Cassie’s bed from a nightmare. Oh and we get a scene where Leslie tells Rue that she’s done trying and Rue can just kill herself?? Which feels totally off from where we left last week??

After this episode ends with Nate storming off and Cassie left heartbroken and a “To be continued…” on the screen, I got a wave of panic. Maybe last week was five not six and I should’ve watched six not seven. I thought maybe I’d skipped an episode. Nope! Levinson just decided to have this weird non-episode instead of dealing in a meaningful way with pretty much any of the threads left open last week.

I don’t know. I’m sure some of you will share my disdain for this episode. I’m sure some of you will be pissed at me in the comments and in my DMs. But one thing we all share is that we should watch or rewatch Opening Night.

More Glitter:

+ This episode was once again written and directed by Sam Levinson.

+ We see a moment where Lexi is on the phone with Fez worrying about the reaction people might have to this play. BABE. Even Jenny Schecter changed SOME information about her friends. You literally only changed the names.

+ I love that even Euphoria High’s theatre department has no rules. These kids WILL perform the second act of Into the Woods. These kids WILL sing “Contact” during their production of Rent.

+ Why is Ethan playing Lexi’s mom as well as Nate?? I feel like the high school theatre problem is you can’t get enough boys, so it’s way more likely that girls play boy parts than vice versa. Are we just supposed to think it’s funny that Ethan is dressed like a woman? I don’t get it.

+ The audience had Playbills. Did Lexi… did Lexi print out Playbills??

+ Last week, a bunch of people commented that the reason Nate darkened at 8 or so was because he found his dad’s tapes. Thanks for noting that from season one! I’d forgotten. I still think that explanation makes the most sense even with Nate’s Cal rape nightmare in this episode.

+ The only Kat moment we get in the play is her character doing her sexy cat dance… intercut with Nate and Cassie fucking?? Just because Kat is no longer a character doesn’t mean Levinson is going to give up sexualizing her body!

+ Fez is going to die, right? I assumed he would once Laurie gave Rue the suitcase of drugs. But it seems he’s going to die separate from that? Has Laurie just disappeared? She’s totally cool with Rue owing her money and escaping?

+ The best part of the episode is that Lexi’s mom was obsessed with every single moment of this play. Alanna Ubach’s laugh was the MVP.

+ I don’t want to dwell on Twitter drama, but it’s so funny to suggest that Euphoria — a show created by someone whose resume is co-writing his dad’s Bernie Madoff movie — is a work born from the theatre. Like… one of the best show’s on TV — P-Valley — was created by Katori Hall, an actual playwright.

+ Something I was thinking about a lot this episode that the show isn’t really engaging with is Cassie isn’t just dating Maddy’s ex-boyfriend. She’s dating her abusive ex-boyfriend. That feels like it would be the bigger issue if Levinson took any of the very serious things his show deals with seriously besides his narrow experience of addiction.

+ We have one more episode of the season but if you liked Opening Night, John Cassavetes made a lot of other great movies you could check out instead. Faces is my personal favorite. Or I can recommend some plays if you have an intellect for theatre. Or, I suppose, you can watch the finale with me — I doubt it could be worse than this week.

“Euphoria” Episode 206 Recap: The Devil You Know

It’s not always a good idea to read the comments. No matter what you write people are going to take issue with it — sometimes with cause, sometimes very much without. But if you do read the comments literal and proverbial there are a few ways you can respond. You can make a pandemic movie with rants against your critics using stand-ins with different experiences from yourself. You can become the main character on Twitter and then stay the main character for a week. Or, you know, you can actually reflect on the ways you need to improve.

And so let me start this Euphoria recap by saying I had to respond way too much last week with “I’m not saying this couldn’t happen, I’m saying it isn’t being done well” for the problem to not have been on my end. Whether my writing was muddled or whether I let my frustrations with this show — and how seriously I take the issues the show deals with — get the best of me, I don’t know, but I wasn’t clear.

So let me be clear. My issue with Euphoria is not about the realism of the broad strokes. Like Sam Levinson, I cannot speak to many of the experiences portrayed and even the ones I can are just my own personal experiences. Never mind the fact that “realism” is not something that is inherently good or bad in storytelling. My issue with Euphoria is not the broad strokes, it’s the moment to moment intimacies. When I say those feel false, I don’t mean what is happening is false to our world — I’m saying line by line, beat by beat they feel hollow.

It’s strange then to get to this episode that will definitely incite less praise and discussion than last week, but that I ultimately found more successful. If Euphoria was just a show about Sam Levinson stand-ins Nate Jacobs and Lexi Howard, I wouldn’t be watching. But this week felt like a relief to have so much time with dynamics that Levinson seems to actually understand. The intimacies ring true amidst all the soapy drama.

We open on Rue sitting at her kitchen table, going through withdrawals. She’s looking at a Jolly Rancher as her nose drips. Narrator Rue delivers one of my least favorite lines of the episode saying, “You know what I love about hospitals? They don’t need to know if you’re a good person.” She goes on to wax poetic about the neutrality of hospitals and I promise I’ll get to the stuff I do like in this episode but my God does Sam Levinson really live in such a bubble that he thinks HOSPITALS are neutral? That Rue as a middle class mixed race Black girl would be treated the way he was? That trans people are given the same care as cis people? You’re killing me, Sam.

Rue’s mom is caring for her and Rue notes that her mom grew up in the church and at least Christians believe in forgiveness. We get our first glimpse of a young Leslie singing in a church choir and I really thought we were finally getting a Leslie-focused episode! But no. All we get is she was in the church and in the choir in the church and is Rue’s mom which we already knew.

Rue is feeling remorseful about all the things she said and all the things she doesn’t remember saying. Most of all she’s feeling remorseful about what she said to Ali. She knows most of the world, including his family, writes him off for the same reasons she could be written off and she doesn’t want to contribute to that.

She calls him and says she’s sorry. He says he forgives her. All the talk about last episode securing Zendaya a second Emmy, this was the moment for me. It’s quieter than last week — I mean she’s still sobbing, it’s still Euphoria — but it’s just an incredible moment of nuanced performance.

Ali comes over to cook for Rue and her family. He sends Rue and her mom away and talks to Gia. He says as tough as things have been on Rue, it’s been tougher on her. Thank God someone is thinking of Gia! I still don’t think Levinson has written in a nuance to these moments the way he does with the Jacobs or the Howards, but I do think what he understands best about Rue is her addiction and these discussions of forgiveness and hurt worked for me. And it helps when you have Colman Domingo to deliver your lines.

Smash cut to Nate Jacobs lifting weights. He’s happy his dad is gone and doesn’t yet know that he has 38 missed calls from Cassie. You know, Cassie Howard from Maddy-is-on-the-phone-with-Kat-talking-about-how-she-wants-to-literally-kill-her fame. Kat is taking said call while out with Ethan who she’s about to break up with. She chickens out and instead tells him that she has a terminal brain disorder. He doesn’t buy it and storms off in frustration. Considering this is one of Kat’s few scenes this season, I wish it didn’t make Kat into such a comical bad guy. Would the Kat we know really break up with Ethan like this? I’m not sure… but Barbie Ferreira does her best to sell it.

Meanwhile, it’s seeming like Cassie might do the job herself. She is hysterical to the point that her mom has Lexi hide all the knives in the house. Lexi is starting to have doubts about her play but then she goes over to Fez’s and he reinforces her artistic spirit. The internet has been begging for Lezco? Fexi? Lezco. scenes since they flirted in the premiere and Levinson has finally delivered. Fez tells Lexi that she should include him beating up Nate in her play and insists re: Cassie that some people need to have their feelings hurt. They talk about how the play is going to have Stand By Me vibes because these characters all have the cultural references of their 37-year-old creator.

Another unlikely pairing happening across town is Nate and his mom. She’s gone full wine mom mode in the wake of her husband’s breakdown and she tells her son not to marry someone he meets in high school. She mentions him being an angry guy and Nate angrily argues that he is not. His mom then comes out as #TeamCassie and talks about how Nate was such a sweet boy until around 8 or 9 he darkened. Is the implication that Nate was raped? By Cal? Later Narrator Rue will confirm that Cal is technically not a pedophile so maybe something else happened that will be revealed later? After this mother-son drunk bonding moment, Nate sets out to recover Cal’s evidence. He doesn’t care about Cal but he does want to save the family real estate business. Of course the Jacobs are in fucking real estate.

While this is happening, the Howards are having their own family togetherness moment. Cassie is ranting about how she didn’t do anything wrong while her mom is like… okay babe. Lexi is just sitting there observing. This is a BIG episode for younger siblings trying to keep quiet and keep the peace. Cassie then tries to slit her wrists with a corkscrew before finally getting into a big fight with Lexi about her ratting on Fez. She continues her rampage a bit later shouting about how she may be bad but Rue is worse, as if that is relevant or comparable. Cassie’s mom, rightfully, says that Cassie needs an exorcising.

These scenes are so good?? Sydney Sweeney is hilarious and Cassie’s antics ring so true for a nightmare teenage girl. These moments are both painful and funny and they feel worth all the exhaustion of this season’s Nate and Cassie affair.

It was around this time that I thought “where is Jules??” and Rue answered by explaining that Jules is at home and— fuck Jules and Elliot, Rue doesn’t want to talk about them. Back to Maddy.

Samantha — MILFka Kelly — comes home and tells Maddy they should get drunk and go for a swim. Maddy confides in Samantha about Nate and Cassie and Samantha admits to pulling a Cassie against her best friend when she was in college. There’s a vibe as they bond about being messy and then Samantha pointedly notes that Maddy is 18.

Lezco are watching the end of Stand By Me and Lexi is crying. It’s a cute little moment that convinced me the kids on Twitter are right about this pair. While this is happening Faye takes out the trash in the rain — elite house guest — where she meets her boyfriend who admits to collaborating with the police against Fez and Ashtray and asks Faye not to reveal this secret — less elite house guest.

Next stop on the Nate Jacobs redemption tour is a reminder that he does not deserve one. He’s sitting in Maddy’s room in the dark holding a gun. He asks Maddy where the disc is of his dad’s sexual exploits and when she says she doesn’t have it, he puts one bullet in the gun and gets on top of her. He points it at her head and then moves the gun to his own. Click. No bullet. Click. No bullet. Maddy, through tears, tells him it’s in her purse. He gets the disc and then apologizes(??) saying there weren’t actually bullets in the gun(??).

He pulls a Cal — drinking and driving with a cocky smirk — as he calls Jules to tell her he’s coming over. She goes outside to meet him with a boxcutter up her sleeve — the literal definition of bringing a knife to a gun fight. He apologizes. He says he was protecting someone who didn’t deserve it. And then he gives her the disc. As she’s leaving, he grabs her hand and says that he meant everything he said to her. She leaves — thank God — but if Levinson tries to endgame them, I will lose my mind.

Nate calls Cassie and tells her to pack a suitcase. As Cassie stands at her front door, she locks eyes with her mom. Then she gets a text from Nate that says “here.” To roughly quote Lady Bird: “You’re not gonna get in a car with a guy who texts, are ya?” Alas, she does. They drive to Nate’s house and he lets her beat his chest before they kiss. All the while, Jules is watching her experience with his dad on her computer that still has a disc drive.

Finally, we return to Ali’s dinner with the Bennetts. Rue says she wants to get clean and Ali asks Gia how she feels about that. She’s skeptical. Leslie starts to object and Ali defends her. He says losing faith is fair until Rue finds some for herself. Really loving all of Ali’s Gia defense!!!! All Gia has done is be a good sister!!! She hasn’t even used the material for a play!!!

Gia asks to sleep in Rue’s bed and, as they lie there, Rue says she feels like she doesn’t know anything about Gia’s life. Gia says I’ll tell you when you get back.

But back from where is the question. The episode ends with Leslie on the phone with the rehab facility. She’s crying and begging and it’s clear there’s some sort of problem. Rue may not be going back to rehab after all.

This episode doesn’t work, because it’s realistic. It works because it’s grounded in its creator’s experiences. Levinson may not know that people get treated differently at the hospital, but he does have experience with addiction. He has experience with Rue’s guilt and her forgiveness. He has experience with people like Nate Jacobs and Lexi Howard. And, I assume, he has experience getting dumped by someone hotter than him.

More Glitter:

+ This episode was once again written and directed by Sam Levinson

+ I know Fexi is the more common ship name but this is Autostraddle dot com. I’m calling these straight people Lezco.

+ Nate’s mom mentions wanting to buy a Peloton. What is it with TV and Peloton?? Were all these scripts written early pandemic when Pelotons were all the rage?

+ I’m on Team Maddy because she’s funnier, but I do think there’s a difference between having sex with your best friend’s recent ex and having sex with your best friend’s boyfriend. Cassie is right that she didn’t technically fuck her best friend’s boyfriend. Continuing to fuck Nate once he and Maddy rekindled wasn’t the best though.

+ I really, really, really like when older writers make recent period pieces rather than awkward contemporary-set stories. Not to reference Lady Bird for the second time, but that movie being set in 2002 let’s Greta Gerwig include all her personal specificity. I wish Sam Levinson had done that with Euphoria even if Rue wouldn’t get to be born right after 9/11.

+ People on the internet are so fucking harsh on Rue and Jules. They’re teenagers! Rue is an addict! Jules is… Jules has done barely anything wrong. It’s one thing to critique their behaviors but the hatred toward these flawed teen characters is wild.

+ This TikTok is fascinating. It’s not uncommon for actors to reword their lines, but it is uncommon for every single line to be vastly improved. Give Zendaya a writing Emmy along with her second acting Emmy.

https://www.tiktok.com/@dannyrayes/video/7062614798101400878?lang=en&is_copy_url=0&is_from_webapp=v1&sender_device=pc&sender_web_id=7058522922752181765

“Euphoria” Episode 205 Recap: Ah! Ah! I’m Acting!

I’m friends with a lot of actors. My ex was an actor. My current girlfriend is an actor. I love actors. But the worst part of knowing actors — and one of the worst parts of being an actor — is that even the most talented actors end up in shitty projects. There are the ones that are truly bad — plays they’d never think of inviting people to, movies they don’t promote — but then there’s the stuff that comes so close to being worthy of them. So close that actors can almost be convinced they’re in something good.

This episode of Euphoria felt like ending up at your friend’s mediocre new play. You’re thrilled to see bestie Zendaya is the star, but God do you wish the material matched her talent. And the talent of her co-stars.

It begins with Rue’s mom yelling at her. She knows Rue has been doing drugs. Rue, in turn, yells at Gia, blaming her for telling about the weed. But Rue’s mom isn’t talking about weed — she’s talking about pills. And it wasn’t Gia who told — it was Jules.

Rue’s suitcase of pills are missing and she starts to frantically ask where they went. Rue’s mom says, “You’re not a good person,” which feels more in-line with Rue’s simplified negative self-talk than anything we’ve seen from Leslie Bennett. Then Rue tells Leslie that she’s a bad mom which is true in the sense that she’s a badly written one. Gia is screaming shut the fuck up shut the fuck up and when Rue reaches for her, Leslie slaps Rue.

Recently, a scene from season one between Rue and her mom circulated around Twitter. Supposedly, the moment was improvised which people first shared as a testament to Zendaya and Nika King’s talents. But this was followed by a wave of questioning why such a pivotal scene would be improvised. Improvisation as a technique isn’t inherently bad and there are plenty of talented directors who have used improv to varying degrees of success. But, personally, I wonder what these actors might do with a bit more structure. And I wonder how much more improv is being utilized in scenes with the Bennett family vs. the Jacobs family that Levinson knows so much better.

Two directors most known for the improvisational nature of their work are John Cassavetes and Mike Leigh. Except John Cassavetes didn’t use improv at all — his work just feels raw in a way people assumed was improvised. And Mike Leigh only uses improv as a workshop tool before taking these improv sessions and crafting them into a final script. Again, I’m not saying improv is wrong — I just think it works best when paired with good writing. And, frankly, Sam Levinson is totally out of his element in writing Rue’s family dynamics.

That’s a problem throughout this entire episode. I trust that Sam Levinson has experience with addiction. But how addiction might affect a Nate Jacobs and a Rue Bennett is different. I said this in an earlier recap, but I’m not sure Levinson really understands the stakes of casting Zendaya as his fictional surrogate.

Anyway, Rue is panicking asking what her mom did with the pills when Jules’ voice comes in from the kitchen saying that they flushed them. Rue’s energy shifts. Her mom asks if she’s embarrassed that Jules heard everything she just said.

Rue walks into the kitchen and sees Jules and Elliot. She says the cruelest things to Jules as Jules insists through tears that Rue doesn’t mean them. Jules just keeps saying, I love you. It’s a devastating scene. All the while, Rue’s mom is just hanging back listening. For all the chaos, it seems a bit odd that Rue’s mom wouldn’t say anything until Rue runs away.

Rue then cries to her mom and says she misses her dad and asks if her mom will take her to the hospital. As they drive away, Rue looks back at Elliot who is now outside smoking a cigarette. Rue admits to relapsing right when she got out of rehab and talks about wanting to kill herself. Then her mom slips that they’re taking her to rehab, not to the hospital, and so she jumps out of the car and runs away through traffic.

The title finally appears.

The over-reliance on improv — or writing that’s as scattered as improv — results in this entire first section feeling like rehearsals between talented performers rather than finished scenes. I really don’t know what to say except that Zendaya proves that she’s the best actor of her generation. She also proves that an actor with mediocre writing is still an actor with mediocre writing.

It’s nighttime and Rue goes to Fez’s. Nobody answers. Her next stop is the Howard house which provides this episode’s few moments of levity. Rue banters with Lexi and then Lexi’s mom about why she looks like shit — she has a cold, they don’t want a cold, she says it’s not contagious, they say colds are contagious — and then she goes to the bathroom to rifle through their medicine cabinet.

While she’s failing to find drugs and succeeding in stealing some jewelry, Lexi calls Rue’s mom. By the time she goes back downstairs Leslie is there along with Lexi, Cassie, their mom, Kat, and Maddy.

Rue says she can’t go to rehab because she can’t stay sober forever and Cassie in her very Cassie way suggests Rue just take it one day at a time. So out of spite Rue asks how long she’s been fucking Nate Jacobs. Chaos ensues! Everyone wants Maddy to postpone her reaction or take this outside but Maddy is Maddy so she does not! For a show that relishes in darkness, Euphoria is at its best when it’s a screwball comedy. Levinson wants to be the auteur genius behind a prestige drama, but his talents are better suited for run-of-the-mill teen TV. There are artists who could pull off his formal and narrative ambition — he’s, unfortunately, not one of them.

Somehow Rue’s mom gets distracted by these hijinks — seems weird but okay — and Rue slips out the door. She goes back to Fez’s and he lets her in. She begs him for drugs but he says he doesn’t keep anything at the house anymore. She tries to steal some of Fez’s grandma’s meds but Fez catches her and kicks her out.

Rue breaks into a random house where she’s met by a growling dog. This is the suburbs so she pets “Harold” and he quickly becomes adorable. Rue steals a bunch of stuff and then somehow guesses the safe code and steals even more. But then the fighting couple she’s stealing from come back early and she has to hide under the bed. Despite fully getting caught, she somehow escapes.

Rue is feeling very nauseous with withdrawal symptoms. She’s not doing a very good job hiding it and when some cops pull up and ask where she’s going, she pukes everywhere. They go towards her and she runs away.

We then get a very impressive chase for someone who is as ill as Rue. She froggers across a busy road, runs through a party, jumps on some cactus, and, finally, manages to escape by hiding in a trashcan.

She has reached peak desperation and this brings her to Laurie’s apartment. If you’re not good with names, Laurie is the former schoolteacher/current drug kingpin who inexplicably entrusted a teen addict with a suitcase full of drugs to sell. Rue gives her two thousand dollars in stolen cash and what she estimates to be a thousand dollars in stolen jewelry. Laurie says she can’t take the jewelry, says she’s never been mad, gives some background about her own experience with opiates, and then suggests Rue get into sex work to pay back the rest of her money.

Rue is desperate for drugs and Laurie tells her that she doesn’t have pills. She has Rue get in the bath and then she injects her with morphine. Rue sinks into the bathtub and it shifts into a fantasy/memory of her in the bath as a baby and then her giving a speech at her dad’s funeral.

When she wakes up, now desperate in a new way, Rue tries to escape through the window. It’s sealed shut. Then she tries to go out the front door past a big guy sleeping next to a gun, but the door is locked. Finally she manages to get out through another window where she drops two stories to relative safety.

I’m not sure what Sam Levinson is trying to accomplish with this Laurie storyline, but I do not like it! I’m not interested in having a conversation about how realistic it is for this character to exist let alone interact with Rue the way she does. Whether or not it’s real doesn’t concern me — even if it all feels false. My bigger issue is the way it plays into misconceptions about sex work and sex trafficking.

If Levinson wanted to take Rue’s addiction journey toward survival sex work that would’ve been one thing. It would have bothered me because as a little rich boy that was absolutely not something Levinson himself had to do and we don’t exactly need more mainstream stigma on sex work, but it would at least make sense. However, this heightened version where Rue is being groomed by Laurie is absurd. It’s using sex work — and specifically sex trafficking — in a way that reinforces this false misconception that suburban girls are getting kidnapped and sold. It’s this false misconception that leads to so many of the laws that make the lives of actual sex workers more challenging.

It also feels especially gross to go this route in the same season where it’s suggested that Rue is somewhere on the ace spectrum. I know there are people who are ace and still do sex work as a job. But it just feels like an attempt to put Rue through as big a nightmare as possible — or impossible — when the more common experiences of drug addiction would be traumatic enough.

Thankfully, the episode ends on a moment of relative hope. Rue has run away from Laurie’s. Leslie is at home. The sound of a door opens and Leslie says, “Rue?”

Last season, Euphoria was criticized for glorifying drugs. This felt like a pretty shallow criticism considering how even last year Rue’s drug use was mostly shown in a negative light. This episode seems designed as a response to those criticisms. Out of all the things Levinson was rightfully criticized for, why would this be the one he listened to? Well, because this allows him to get darker, to be serious, to put his characters through more turmoil.

Listening to the other critiques would’ve meant giving up power.

More Glitter:

+ This episode was once again written and directed by Sam Levinson.

+ I’m feeling for Gia! Why did her mom take her to drive Rue to rehab? Why did she have her in the car when driving around looking for Rue? And especially why did she tell her to get off her phone and do a better job looking?? Rue was right — Gia really does have to be perfect to make up for her.

+ I guess my main problem is Rue’s mom does not feel like a real person. Maybe if we’d spent as much time with her as we did Cal, this all would hit harder. But, again, Levinson knows how to write Cal Jacobs and does not know how to write Leslie Bennett.

+ One Sam to Rue thing I find interesting as well as frustrating is the idea that Rue is an addict because of her dad’s death. If we’re to read this autobiographically, we’re to believe that having a father who is absent because he’s a famous movie director is the same as having a father who is dead. Not sure about that one!

+ Zendaya really was phenomenal but when the writing doesn’t work to create an immersive experience, it becomes a detached sort of appreciation. I didn’t feel for Rue as much as I admired Zendaya.

+ The episode had this vibe:

“Euphoria” Episode 203 Recap: Great Tits and Kurt Cobain’s Haircut

This Euphoria recap contains mild spoilers. 

Euphoria makes me think about trust. Not because Rue is lying about doing drugs or Cassie is lying about fucking Nate or Cal is lying about his whole deal. I’m thinking about the trust a creator asks from an audience — especially when telling stories about people whose stories have often been told wrong.

I don’t want queer media that’s simple. I don’t want queer media that’s palatable and boring and risk-averse. I don’t want to put rules in place that say this kind of storyline is not okay and this kind is. Because in my own life these rules get broken. Sometimes I say things “a trans person wouldn’t say” or do things “a trans person wouldn’t do” and I want to see those things on TV.

But it’s about trust. The problem I face again and again is trust. I don’t trust Sam Levinson.

Some of that is because of his identity. But it’s not just that — while I generally prefer work made by people who share the lived experience of their characters, that’s not always the case. And sure it’s in part that instead of acknowledging his limitations, he has stubbornly insisted on writing the main seasons himself unlike any other ensemble show on TV. But even this alone wouldn’t lose my trust if the work itself didn’t reveal these limitations. In both his film Assassination Nation and Euphoria — I skipped Malcolm and Marie — his writing has had moments that feel off. I can’t speak for anyone but myself but the work itself has felt like it’s written by a cis straight white man. And yet, it’s some of these moments that have the most potential for complexity.

This episode begins with a queer love story — a flashback centering on Nate’s dad Cal. Narrator Rue tells us about his high school best friend Derek who he wrestled with. Like on a wrestling team. As a teen, Cal stares at dicks the way his son will two decades later. He gets tangled up in a relationship with Nate’s mom who is extremely horny and aggressive in the way Levinson’s teens love to be. Cal repeats his sexcapades to Derek like they’re in a whitewashed porn parody of Y Tu Mamá También. And then one day Cal starts “eating pussy” and Derek gets upset.

Sometimes you just have to bro down with your bro at the gay bar and Cal and Derek do just that. It’s under the guise of the bar not carding but pretty soon they’re several tequila shots in and when-in-Rome-ing their way to rimming. A little dancing, a little crying, a little making out and who knows what else. Of course, this show is a tragedy, so the next morning Cal wakes up to a call from Nate’s mom that she’s pregnant. Based on what I learned in health class this is not due to all the pussy eating.

Levinson doesn’t feel the need to clarify Cal’s sexuality and that’s okay. I’m just left confused about what he’s trying to communicate. It makes sense that Derek would be hurt by Cal doing a sex act he, as a cis boy, reads as aggressively straight. But Cal’s obsession with the act makes me shrug. It doesn’t really tell me anything. Just like my confusion with Cal’s habit of secretly fucking young men — with the exception of when he fucked Jules. Is Cal supposed to be bisexual? Or is he gay and read Jules as a male because the Jacobs boys — like their creator — just really love dicks? I’ve talked to enough cis male-amorous trans friends to know that none of this is inherently unrealistic. I just don’t really get what Levinson is going for in how he’s telling these stories.

When I reviewed the show in 2019, I was quick to say that Levinson’s storytelling was unrealistic. I now feel less inclined to make that kind of declarative statement. But I will say that his writing feels muddled, that it leaves me confused, and that it makes me uncomfortable in the wrong kind of way. I will say that I don’t trust Levinson’s perspective.

Like the previous episode, this is a chaotic hour of television that jumps from character to character and is never quite clear when it’s fantasy and when it’s reality. Maybe that’s to mirror Rue who is high dancing around her house singing along to “Call Me Irresponsible” by Bobby Darin. Her sister Gia asks if Rue is high and we shift into our first fantasy sequence. Rue is in professor mode flipping through an old-timey projector, teaching us how to get away with being a drug addict. Basically she’s managed to convince everyone in her life that she’s just smoking a little weed and that she needs to do that to avoid being suicidal. It’s a good cover since most non-drug users and even some casual drug users can’t really tell the difference between highs and Rue is so obviously high on something.

In addition to her faux weed confession, Rue also asks Jules why she doesn’t like Elliot. Jules says it’s because he’s obviously trying to fuck Rue. This leads to a moment I thought was a fantasy but I think was real where Jules is grilling Elliot about his identity and sexual history. She asks how many girls he’s fucked and how many guys he’s fucked. And he asks her the same. We find out that Elliot is basically bisexual but he doesn’t really like labels. And we learn that Jules has started wearing a binder.

Rue and Jules race on bikes and then make out. Rue reaches her hand down Jules’ pants and as she checks in if that’s okay. It’d be sweet if Rue wasn’t so fucking high.

All of this is exciting to see. It’s rare for queer trans women to be on TV and it’s thrilling to have these sorts of complicated conversations about this character’s identity. I’m sure Sam Levinson has consulted with Hunter — especially since she’s the only other person to ever get a writing credit on the show — but I still felt a little uncomfortable watching this. Again, not because anything is wrong. I just wanted more detail. It’s a big deal to have a trans girl character who is wearing a binder! I wish I trusted Levinson to get into it more and to do it well.

Rue and Jules begin hanging out with Elliot and start playing an ongoing game of Truth or Dare. This includes Elliot daring Jules to pee standing up in the road. Jules makes a remark about genderfucking and this all felt so real and true. Jules goes down on Rue while Elliot sleeps in the bed next to them. So, um, things seem to be heading in a complicated direction.

Meanwhile, chaos is brewing with the Howard sisters. Lexi has decided she’s meant to be an observer and so she begins turning her life as a sidekick into a play. It seems her play is largely about Cassie who is busy waking up at 4am in a twisted take on self-care that’s really about looking as hot as possible when she passes Nate in the hall — even though he’s ignoring her except when they fuck on Friday nights.

There’s a very funny scene in the girl’s bathroom where Lexi is trying to hide her play from her sister — who is in an absurd cutesy outfit — and says that she’s just talking about the school play Oklahoma. Maddy and Kat then think that’s why Cassie is dressed like that. This cast has such good comic timing! Sam Levinson can be a good writer when he gets out of his own way! Like last week’s bowling scene, it’s nice to get a moment of relief when the show lets itself really be a teen show. And I’m sure we’ll get way more drama in the future as Lexi is positioning herself as Euphoria High’s Jenny Schecter.

One person who will for sure be coming to her play is Fez who continues to be harassed by Cal. Ashtray leads Cal inside by gun point and smacks him with the gun as Fez tries to figure out why Cal has been hanging around. Cal seems to think that Fez has the disc and is going to release the tape of him fucking Jules but Fez has no idea what Cal is talking about. This is another really funny scene — if the stakes weren’t so high for Jules.

All the bisexual men want to fuck Jules. It turns out that Elliot isn’t into Rue because he thinks she’s probably ace — he is into Jules. Jules confesses that Rue is probably not the most sexual person and Elliot starts really flirting saying that Jules is creative and a whore and has great tits and Kurt Cobain’s haircut and she deserves all the love and sex she needs.

I want to get mad at Levinson for having every person who is into Jules be bisexual, but every person who is into me is bisexual so it kind of takes the weight out of my argument. I do think it’s true that people who are sexually fluid tend to be more interested in trans people because monosexual people bring so much baggage to dating us. But, again, it’s not about whether this is realistic or not. It’s about how the story is being told, the specificity — or lack thereof, and whether or not I trust Levinson to give him the benefit of the doubt here. Just because something can be true doesn’t mean that it’s not revealing the biases of its writer. Like I wonder how Jules — who I’ll remind you is currently wearing a binder — feels about being told she has great tits.

One thing Levinson does have experience with is drug addiction. And Rue is really struggling. She’s trying to figure out a way to do drugs for free and this leads her back to the lady drug dealer’s place. She offers to deal to kids at her school and the drug dealer gives her a suitcase with $10,000 worth of product. She then says that if Rue screws her, she will sell Rue to some sick people.

Rue brings her drug suitcase to a meeting and when Ali asks her what’s in the suitcase it leads to a heartbreaking confrontation. Ali has been trying to find the balance between encouraging her and letting her come to recovery at her own pace. In this moment, it seems like he’s accepting that she may be beyond helping. At least at this point.

The episode ends with Rue doing some of the drugs herself and there’s just no way this isn’t going to end extremely poorly. It’s heartbreaking to watch. It’s also part of the problem with Levinson projecting his experiences onto a middle class queer Black girl. I know Rue is fictional — and Levinson’s creation — but I care about her. The risks are higher for her than they ever could have been for Levinson and it’s really hard to watch the show treat her this way.

Again, it’s not a critique. I know this is a dark show about dark things. I just wish I trusted the puppet master to understand who he’s playing with. These characters aren’t real, but trans people are real, queer Black girls are real, addicts with far less privilege than Sam Levinson are real. I hope he remembers that.

More Glitter:

+ This episode was again written and directed by Mr. Levinson.

+ As a trans woman who has never dated men, I know I’m a bit limited in understanding Nate and Cal. I’m curious how other people perceive their sexualities and if you feel like Sam Levinson is writing them in a way that feels authentic and well-developed.

+ Fun fact! Chloe Cherry who plays Faye played Jules in a Euphoria porn parody!

+ The only thing Kat gets to do this episode is go to an awkward dinner with Ethan’s parents.

+ I like the comparison of Jules to Kurt Cobain because I am a Kurt Cobain was trans truther.

+ Rumor has it Hunter Schafer is dating Dominic Fike who plays Elliot. Apparently some people are upset because they thought she was a lesbian and I just want to say leave Hunter alone! Let her date the cute boy with the little apple face tat!

“Euphoria” Episode 202 Recap: We Tell Ourselves Stories In Order to Live Through High School

This Euphoria recap of episode 202 contains spoilers

When I was in high school, I had several teachers, several friends’ parents, and even a therapist tell me that I was the most self-aware kid they’d ever met. It’s funny to think about that, knowing I was closeted to myself — even funnier to think about all the other less obvious things I didn’t know, too.

What these adults actually meant was that I could articulate a story about my interior life in a way that was convincing. It didn’t necessarily have to be the truth or the entire truth, just clear, just using the right language.

As Instagram infographs spread and viral TikToks teach people about themselves, I’d imagine it’s easier than ever to be this kind of kid. Euphoria has never been a show that feels especially astute when it comes to teens today as it is entirely written by a 37 year old and has teen actors ranging in age from 23 to 31. But if it gets one thing right about today’s teens — and teens in general — it’s in the stories these kids tell themselves about themselves, the misguided self-awareness of youth.

The episode begins with Nate, beaten to a bloody pulp, being rushed to the hospital with Maddy and Cassie by his side. Narrator Rue muses about Nate being in love with Cassie and I groaned with indifference. This opening culminates in a montage where Nate is imagining a life with Cassie and I’m really trying to get on Sam Levinson’s level and not be a prude but God he sure does love to show Sydney Sweeney naked again and again and again. The most interesting part of this opening is the flash we get of Jules — proof that even in his ultimate fantasy Nate can’t help but think of her.

I get it — I would still be thinking about Jules, too. We see her at school in a great pair of low rise jeans and a white graphic tee. Rue narrates that she has everything she could ever wish for and then she kisses Jules.

This is all I’ve ever wanted from this show so why does it feel so bad?? Maybe because Rue is in such a bad place and trying to hide that from Jules. Last season did a good job capturing the appeal drugs have for Rue — this season is showing their dark side.

Jules says “I love you” and Rue doesn’t respond because she’s too busy staring at Elliot. He comes over and there’s a very awkward scene where Rue is nervous about Elliot revealing they’ve been doing drugs together which Jules mistakes for Rue trying to hide romantic feelings. It ends with Jules walking away barely holding back tears.

Last week, I wondered what the show would do without new characters to focus on and this week we get our answer. While the episode begins like it’s going to focus on Nate, Narrator Rue ends up bouncing the story from character to character the whole episode. It makes for an exhausting hour of television, but what is Euphoria if not exhausting.

We learn that Cassie had been committing herself to abstinence. This is the kind of narrative I was talking about. Sometimes it’s absolutely good to take a break from sex. But it’s also an extremely juvenile thing to make a grand declaration like I rely too much on sex so I’m not having it ever — only to give in by fucking your best friend’s abusive ex. She’s a mess and only gets more upset when Maddy calls to brag about a sweet text Nate sent her from the hospital.

Speaking of Maddy… she might be going from Nate’s B Team to the B Team. She’s working as a babysitter because she likes trying on the mom’s fancy clothes and when this mom — played by Minka Kelly — gets home there’s a tense moment where the mom has Maddy unzip her dress. I’m not saying they’re going to fuck but the mom definitely wanted to fuck her!

The Cassie/Maddy/Nate drama is boring to me. I don’t care about Maddy’s blackmail — beyond its effect on Jules — or Nate and Cassie’s forbidden love. I would gladly accept a story shift where Maddy leaves her toxic Nate obsession and starts fucking a mom. Like yes, officially, that’s gross because she’s in high school but Alexa Demie is 31 so, like, you’re either on board with Euphoria sexualizing its teenage characters or you’re not. (I’m officially not — but as long as we’re here I’ll take the oldest cast member having a mommy issues fling.)

When Maddy, Jules, Kat, and Kat’s boyfriend Ethan are out bowling, Maddy tells Jules that she’s jealous of Kat. She says that she’s just not sure she could ever be in a relationship that didn’t have darkness. Jules commiserates. Here’s another narrative. It’s easier to think you’re built differently than to imagine you could eventually learn to respect yourself more.

Of course, Kat isn’t happy either. Ethan is a total dweeb and she’s having sexual fantasies of a Game of Thrones warrior killing him and ravishing her. She feels super guilty about this and haunted by a world of hashtag feminism models encouraging her to love herself more. It can feel empowering to say I hate myself. I don’t think I deserve the good kind of love. It’s a lot harder to say that maybe the “nice guy” you’re with just isn’t doing it for you. That maybe at 17 you haven’t found the person you want to be with and you’d rather be alone. Self-deprecation is a form of control. It’s difficult to accept you have none. But, babe, Ethan?? If you really loved yourself, you’d KNOW you deserve better!

And then we have Lexi who has spun a tale about Fezco, the drug dealer with a heart of gold. She is meek so to be who she wants to be, she must date someone who is edgy and strong. There are other choices, Lex!! Then again all the guys at this high school suck even more than your average high school guy, so maybe Fez really is the best choice.

Elliot is not so bad. Except that he and Rue are bringing out the worst in each other. He keeps saying this, but he’s crushing too hard to stop. And Rue is crushing too hard on being around someone she can openly use with. Rue’s self-narrative is the most destructive — that her life doesn’t matter, that she’s destined to die young. Elliot notes that Rue is probably using because of her dad dying and Rue is quick to say it’s not that simple. Maybe it’s not, but it’s convenient for Rue to feel that dying from an overdose is her destiny rather than circumstantial.

There’s a part of her that wants a different story. That part drags herself to a meeting where Ali is there to greet her. He drives her home and walks her in and tells her mom she has a long way to go without fully ratting her out.

There are the stories we tell about ourselves and the stories we tell about others. And everyone in Rue’s life is telling a story about being there for her while selectively oblivious to her relapse. I don’t blame Rue’s mom or Jules for choosing ignorance, but Rue isn’t hiding her drug use as well as she thinks. And if they don’t start telling another story soon, Rue’s narrative will have its not so inevitable end.

Extra Glitter:

+ The big cliffhanger of the episode is Nate confronts his dad about Jules and we get a hint that if Maddy finds out about Cassie, she’s going to release the tape of Nate’s dad and Jules to the world. I really, really hope not?? And would she even do that since she’s getting closer with Jules? Maybe she’d just share a video with the random guys instead.

+ Once again this episode was written and directed by Mr. Levinson.

+ Maddy at one point casually uses the R word. Can someone tell me if bitchy teens still use the word like that? It felt very 2006 and very unnecessary.

+ Kat not being able to think of a single con on her pro/con Ethan list… babe. Big Nice Guy has a chokehold on our nation.

+ I liked the too-brief moments of Jules and Kat and Maddy bowling. I would like more moments like this, please. Even the edgiest teens have casual fun sometimes.

+ The only scene we get just focused on Jules is when her dad asks if Rue is a good influence. I hope the next episode spends more time with Hunter and her haircut!

“Euphoria” Episode 201 Recap: Literally Heartbreaking

This Euphoria recap contains spoilers

I don’t hate watch television. There is simply too much good TV to waste my time watching Emily in Paris or something else that brings me no joy beyond Twitter camaraderie.

I say this, because as I embark on my self-imposed task of recapping the second season of Sam Levinson’s hit teens-gone-wild HBO drama, I must clarify that I want to love Euphoria. I would never waste your time — you presumably being someone who likes Euphoria enough to read recaps — if I didn’t share your enthusiasm. I think the show has one of the best casts on television — not just young casts, I’m talking in general — and it has a style that is wholly its own. And yet.

To understand my relationship with Euphoria, you need only to look at its central relationship — trans girl dreamboat Hunter Schafer’s Jules and literal Emmy winner Zendaya’s Rue. Jules loves Rue and she wants her to get better, she believes she can get better. She’s rooting for Rue at every step and yet… and yet… and yet… Rue keeps relapsing. But based on this premiere Jules isn’t giving up on Rue and I’m not giving up on this show. So let’s begin, shall we?

The season begins with Fezco. Or, rather, it begins with Fezco’s grandmother. If you missed Rue’s omniscient narrator in last year’s holiday specials, she’s back to fill us in on the history of her drug dealer, friend, and chosen family.

Fez’s grandma was a drug dealer who shot his father (not her son) after he beat up Fez. He became her assistant and eventual heir, adopting little Ashtray along the way. Before you know it he’s a high rolling drug dealer with his own kid assistant and Rue Bennet in his backseat.

It’s New Year’s Eve and he’s on the way to a drug deal. Rue is high and rapping along to “Hit Em Up” by 2Pac and Fez and a very concerned little Ashtray tell her to calm down. She’s supposed to wait in the backseat with this other dude’s girlfriend named Fay. Fay starts to do heroine and Rue is like maybe don’t before Fay says she’s just a “junky bitch” too. Then they’re both getting pulled out the car windows by drug goons.

Inside, Fez, Rue, Fay, and Fay’s boyfriend are told to strip. Ashtray is taken into another room. The main goon starts dancing around to “Right Down the Line” by Gerry Rafferty in a moment that feels like a film student failing to imitate the Alfred Molina Boogie Nights scene. Rue is hesitant to strip and then taken into the shower and forcibly stripped there. It’s a rough and uncomfortable scene which I guess is Sam Levinson’s whole deal.

Eventually the drug kingpin — a soft-spoken female former teacher — trusts them and makes the deal with Fez. And despite the experience being traumatic just to witness, Rue is chatty and excitable once they’re back in the car.

This takes us to the main setting for the rest of the episode — a predictably wild New Year’s Eve party. We see Jules with her incredible new haircut — it looks so fucking good on her! — and so does Rue who immediately runs away to hide.

We then check in with Maddy and Lexi and Kat and Cassie! I won’t spend too much time on them since we’re primarily here for the gay stuff but my feelings for Alexa Demie and Barbie Ferreira are gay and I’m invested in every female character on this show regardless of who they’re dating.

Someone I’m not invested in is Nate who has a wild drunken joy ride with Cassie before fucking her in the bathroom. Maddy knocks on the door and this leads to a chaotic episode-long hijink where Cassie is hiding in the bathtub while Maddy smokes and flirts with a new guy. Meanwhile, goody goody Lexi begins to have an unpredictable spark with the episode’s main dude Fez.

Back to Jules — she’s dancing with Kat and she makes eye contact with Nate once he’s removed himself from the bathroom. She says her goal is to blackout the entire year. Then we move to Rue who is doing just that as she makes friends in the laundry room with a guy named Elliot and starts doing more drugs. At first I thought he was transmasc because he’s short, has dyed blonde hair, and is named Elliot, but actually he’s played by cis musician Dominic Fike.

Jules begins to look for Rue and as if a broken heart could be literal, Rue’s heart begins to stop. Really it’s the drugs and she’s going into cardiac arrest. She asks Elliot to crush up some Adderall from her sock and with a chuckle she narrowly avoids death. Elliot says he’s not sure that it’s good they met and Rue says he’s her new favorite person.

Meanwhile, Jules has given up her search and apologizes to Kat for not being better friends. Jules says she let her world get too small. For a brief moment, I abandoned my Rules shipping and started dreaming of a Jules/Kat romance! Imagine how hot! Alas Kat is still with the boring guy from last season. If she’s happy, I’m happy, I guess.

Jules finally sees Rue sitting by a fire with Elliot and she makes her way over to her. She walks over and says Rue and Rue looks up and the sound design drops. The look, look back, walk over, first word is stretched across so much other chaos with the other characters. A glance between these two holds the drama of a fuck or fight between the others.

Before we get to this conversation, we unfortunately must check in with Nate. McKay has just had a sad conversation with Cassie where she finalizes the end of their relationship and when McKay emerges, Nate asks if he was back there “dicking her down.” McKay says no and Nate gets increasingly intense as he asks McKay how he fucked Cassie and where he came. He’s towering over McKay like he wants to dick him down. Nate’s confused closeted hypermasculine sexuality is one of my least favorite aspects of the show. I don’t find it to be compelling or to be a sharp commentary on masculinity or for it to be anything but a big cliché. If you want to see this trope done well go watch Sex Education. But here I fear Levinson continues to miss the mark.

From upsetting in a bad way to upsetting in a good way, Jules asks if she can talk to Rue. Elliot leaves and Jules sits down. She asks Rue when she relapsed and Rue lies and says it’s just weed. Jules asks her again. “Do you want me to be honest?” Rue asks. “The night you left.” Hunter Schafer and Zendaya are devastating in this moment, their faces filled with so much pain and love. Now that we know the guilt about her mom Jules is bringing to this relationship, Rue’s words cut even deeper. Their conversation gets cut short when Fezco sees Nate, gets Lexi’s number, and tells Ashtray to start the car. On his way to the getaway, Ashtray tells Rue they’re leaving.

Euphoria then gives us some stylistic flourishes in a slo-mo montage where each character gets overexposed as the camera pushes in. Eventually we get Rue going back up to Jules and apologizing She says she didn’t mean to be mean. She’s just having a tough time and misses her. Jules says she misses her too. Rue says she really wants to be with her. AND THEN THEY KISS.

Because of the fantasy sequences of the holiday specials, I fully thought this was a dream sequence. But it’s not! I know officially I should not be rooting for these two to get back together. It’s almost definitely not what either of them need. But I can’t help it! I love them together so much! The bond between these two characters and these two actors is what keeps me coming back to the show, it’s what makes it such a special work of television. It doesn’t matter how many swooping camera moves you do if you’re not swooping over something worthwhile — Rules is what’s worthwhile.

I will always bristle at Sam Levinson’s gaze. I will never be as fascinated with gratuitous nudity or corny violence as him. And I’ll remain frustrated with his limited writing as long as he keeps insisting on writing this show about all these different people solely by himself. But even if Euphoria will never be my favorite show, I want to meet it as the show it’s trying to be. I won’t nitpick complaints or criticize it for not being the show I wish I could watch with this cast. Instead I’ll enjoy what it offers — silly plots, dramatic form, and actors I adore.

It helps that the episode ends with Fezco doing what all of us have wanted to do since 2019 — beating the absolute shit out of Nate. Sometimes all you need is one good kiss and a very tall asshole getting what he deserves.

Extra Glitter:

+ Thanks for joining me on this journey! I’ve been told by some people who I really respect that I’m too harsh on this show and other people that I really respect that I’m too easy on it. So I’m going to assume my opinions are perfect and correct!

+ Okay but seriously can we just take a moment and appreciate Hunter’s haircut!?!?

+ Sam Levinson is obsessed with showing dicks and we get a hard one between two bullet wounds first thing in this episode.

+ Nate is over-the-top in a lot of ways but the assholes at my high school really did drink and drive with that level of abandon.

+ Now that we’ve gotten a Fez episode, is Lexi the only main character who hasn’t had an episode focusing on her? I wonder if the show will start repeating characters or drop that format like the season one finale and holiday specials.

+ I’ll be curious to see how many episodes Sam Levinson directs himself or if pilot director Augustine Frizzell or any other directors join him. I am pretty sure unlike the second holiday special co-written with Hunter, he’s still writing the entire season solo. I really wish he wouldn’t!

+ Anyway, shoutout to the uncredited writers of Euphoria. See you next week!