Boobs On Your Tube: Niecy Nash Is The Boss of Me and You and Also “Claws”
Hi, this is TV Team Editor Heather Hogan! I’m gonna run down our weekly list of TV and Film posts in just a second, but before I do, two thank yous.
Number one, from the deepest place in my heart, thank you to Autostraddle’s TV Team for being the best in the business! These queers have completely changed the shape of TV and Film criticism over the years. They work impossibly hard, all the time, to try to cover every single gay thing happening in the world of entertainment, and every single one of them puts their whole heart into everything they write. They’re brilliant, compassionate, hilarious, sometimes rightfully furious writers whose powers, combined, have created the thing that I am proudest of in my entire life. I am so grateful to work with them to make sure TV and movies are doing right by our community, to keep y’all entertained, and to provide a safe place for all of us to discuss our stories.
Number two, you! Our TV Team thanks all of you for, once again, going on this wild ride with us for another year. Thank you for reading, thank you for commenting, thank you for sharing on social media, thank you for the hot tips, thank you for the occasional corrections, thank you for your donations and A+ memberships that keep this queer indie dream running, and thank you most of all for loving stories as much as we do, and believing in their potential to change the world.
This week, Heather recapped Che turning Miranda gay on And Just Like That. Valerie Anne wrote a love letter to the final season of Dickinson. Riese unleashed our list of honorable mention TV series that we loved in 2021. Kayla recapped another topsy-turvy episode of Yellowjackets. And Valerie Anne heard your pleas and wrote about Arcane!
Happy New Year, friends!
Notes from the TV Team
+ After more than a year away, Vanessa Woodfield is back in Emmerdale! I was surprised how quickly Emmerdale stirred up the drama: Vanessa arrives just in time to hear her ex, Charity, declare her love for someone else, only to later hear Charity admit that her current love doesn’t compare to what they had (!!). I was disappointed that Vanessa’s new relationship ended so quickly…I would’ve enjoyed watching a jealous Charity stomp around the Dales. — Natalie
Hightown 210: “Fool Me Twice”
Written by Natalie
I nearly added Hightown to my list of LGBT TV I loved in 2021. I wanted to tout the series’ improvement from its middling first season and swoon over Jackie Quiñones a little more. I had it all written out and was ready to add it to my honorable mentions. But then I saw this episode…and I immediately tossed what I’d written into the trash. Whatever goodwill Hightown had earned over its first nine episodes was squandered in its tenth.
What could’ve happened to make my entire view of Hightown‘s second season change? Oh, let me tell you.
Not wanting to take the heat for bodies that weren’t his, Frankie’s henchman immediately fingers his boss in Daisy’s murder, even telling Alan and Jackie where the execution went down. Jackie — who had has been wracked with guilt about Daisy’s death since she first suspected it — doesn’t show an ounce of sadness; instead, she boasts about finally taking down Frankie Cuevas in front of a wall stained with Daisy’s blood. In hindsight, that out-of-character moment should’ve been a warning sign about how the rest of this episode was going to go.
Jackie’s success brings Leslie back around: she invites Jackie out for dinner and drinks to celebrate. Over dinner, Leslie admits that Jackie was right: she was scared and that’s why she ended things with Jackie so abruptly. She claims that having this gay epiphany — at 35, after years of compulsory heterosexuality — freaked her out. Do I believe Leslie? Not even a little bit. Am I surprised when they hook up again after dinner? Again, not even a little bit, especially after Jackie’s run-in with her counselor from rehab. The counselor attributing Jackie’s success to working the program — the one thing Jackie definitely is not doing successfully — makes Jackie feel like a fraud and she wants the affirmation that a warm body can provide.
At work, Jackie and Leslie are assigned to transfer Charmaine to the women’s prison. Leslie’s reluctant but their sergeant insists that they use the trip to try and convince Charmaine to implicate Frankie in the narcotics bust. That order turns out to be the last one Alan gives, as Ray’s re-instatement forces him off the task force and over to homicide. Ray invites Jackie to be part of his task force to uncover Charmaine’s New York connect but things between him and Leslie remain frosty. Because Leslie only cares about Jackie insomuch as Jackie can boost her career — and Jackie’s a way to ingratiate herself to Ray — she steps up the seduction and Leslie and Jackie fall into bed together.
Back on the job, Jackie and Leslie play good cop, bad cop to try to get Charmaine to talk about Frankie or the New York connect. While Charmaine appears intimidated by the prospect of prison time, she doesn’t offer any information. But then Charmaine’s period comes on and she offers to give a statement in exchange for a tampon. Leslie insists that they not stop but Jackie suggests stopping alongside the road. Predictably, when Jackie undoes Charmaine’s cuffs, she escapes, dashing into the woods and across the highway. Equally predictable? When Jackie and Leslie return to the precinct and their lieutenant threatens an investigation, Leslie blames everything on Jackie and asks for a new partner in an effort to save her job.
The whole mess sends Jackie into yet another spiral. She drinks at Ed’s retirement party (apparently) and, later, calls Ray seeking advice on how to fix the mess she’s made. He offers to come to her but she declines so, instead, Ray tells her to go home and go inside. He assures her that everything’s going to be alright and she should just go inside. But little does he know that Jackie is currently outside Petey’s house, the drug dealer who wanted to trade drugs for sex with Jackie a few episodes ago. She takes Ray’s advice and goes inside.
What a frustrating hour of television.
I don’t mind that Jackie’s ending isn’t a happy one or that Jackie and Leslie don’t end the episode together. As Maya Angelou said, “when someone shows you who they are, believe them” and Leslie has shown herself to be an opportunist. I mind that Jackie — the cop that took down Frankie Cuevas! — isn’t the least bit skeptical about Leslie’s intentions.
I don’t mind that Jackie relapses, again. I mind that Hightown can’t think of anything else to do with this character. I mind that, in two seasons, Jackie’s still the same person she was when we met her, while everyone around her gets to evolve. I mind that Jackie’s addiction gets rehashed, ad nauseum, while Ray’s depression and near suicide have been magically cured by Renee’s return. I mind that Jackie knows and has successfully scored drugs from lots of folks in P-town and yet ends up on Petey’s doorstep. I mind that the show’s lesbian character is reduced to trading drugs for sex with a pervy old man, despite the fact that there’s been no indication that Jackie’s broke.
The episode was cheap, gratuitous and gross. Jackie and Hightown fans deserve better.
Claws 403-404: “Chapter Three: Ambition” and “Chapter Four: Loyalty”
Written by Natalie
Desna Sims likes to wear a necklace with a BOSS emblem in the middle…and this season on Claws, she’s doing everything she can to secure her boss status. But this time, Desna’s not letting anyone steal her dream out from under her — or burn it all down, as it were — so she’s asserting as much control as she can over her future, no matter how many people she alienates.
After Uncle Daddy and Not-So-Quiet Ann sabotaged her outing at the country club, Desna’s looking for a new way to get her product out to the masses. She discovers Lusty Souls, a multi-level marketing company that sells adult products (a la Pure Romance), and sets up a party to learn more about how the pyramid scheme works. Once she hears all the details — most notably the fact that the founder turned a $100k loan into a $30M empire in just five years — Desna is sold: she adapts Lusty Souls’ business model for her burgeoning pill business.
Putting up everything they own as collateral, Desna and Jenn secure a $100k predatory small business loan to fund their expansion. They recruit a handful of “Claws Up Consultants” to hosts salon parties and sell nail supplies, hand creams and polish bottles filled with oxy. While I appreciate the ingenuity, I worry about bringing all these new people into the fold — selling vibrators is one thing, selling illegal drugs is another — and my concern proves warranted. Soon after starting their business, Desna’s forced to resuscitate someone who overdosed as a “Claws Up” party while Jenn’s forced to lean — hard, per Desna’s insistence — on a client whose abusive husband keeps stealing the money her parties generate.
Desna pushes too hard to get their money back and alienates the client (who goes back to her abusive husband) and her best friend. Jenn laments, “You’re right always. Huh? Ain’t nothing new here. And don’t you dare tell me how much we have riding on this, because I know. And if you don’t let go, you’re gonna end up holding a steaming bag of shit by your damn self.” Later, Desna reminds Jenn that she can’t survive in this game trying to be everyone’s friend. She can be a friend or she can be a gangster but she can’t be both.
Meanwhile, Ann has found a home within Uncle Daddy’s organization and is filling Roller’s shoes as Uncle Daddy’s right hand, much to Bryce’s chagrin. To prove himself, Bryce tries to secure a buyer for the fentanyl patches he brought in but he ends up selling them all to a doomsday cult. Worried that the patches will trace back to them, Uncle Daddy, Ann and Bryce make their way back out to the commune but they’re too late: they have to pluck the patches off the cult’s dead bodies. The mishap pushes Uncle Daddy to reduce Bryce’s responsibilities until he and Ann can teach him “how to be a real business man.”
Ann knows what Desna and Bryce don’t: when you really need something done, when you need some people you can trust, you call in the lesbians. She recruits her old prison softball team to serve as their new corner boys. The team’s former infielder, Cherry, wants a bit more from Ann than to be selling patches, though…but Ann’s reluctant to hook up with anyone so soon after Arlene’s death. One of the most unexpected parts of Claws‘ new season is the friendship building between Uncle Daddy and Ann and, learning from the loss he’s experienced, Uncle Daddy pushes her (and himself) to get back out there and find someone to be with.
“Come on now, Arlene wouldn’t want you to be all alone, hurting and celibate like some drug-dealing nun,” Uncle Daddy says. “I know that Toby and Brenda wouldn’t wish that for me.”
Ann takes Uncle Daddy’s advice and flirts while playing pool. Just as they’re about to kiss, though, Desna storms in and interrupts. She accuses Ann of stealing her pills and selling them under her own label but Ann insists that she had nothing to do with it. They trade barbs — Ann calls Desna controlling, Desna accuses her Ann of being jealous — and nearly come to blows but Jenn steps between them. Though still suspicious of Ann’s involvement, Desna leaves to deal with an attempted break-in at the salon.
Alone, Ann questions Jenn about their friendship: Jenn insists that they’re really friends but her partnership with Desna makes it complicated. She reminds Ann that she’s not innocent in this — she stole from them — but, for Ann, that just clarifies with whom Jenn’s allegiances truly lie. Later, Ann decides there’s too much going on in her life right now to involve Cherry in it. She puts the kibosh on their flirtation and promises to keep their relationship strictly professional.
Back at the salon, Desna discovers that the break-in was orchestrated by Bambi, one of her Claws Up consultants. Desna, Virginia and Jenn meet up and confront Bambi at her husband’s auto shop. She tries to apologize but Desna isn’t having it and insists on a more severe punishment. But as things are wont to do in Palmetto, everything goes awry and poor Bambi ends up dead.
Boobs on Your Tube: “The Bold Type” Puts Kat Back on Tinder to Delightfully Bisexual Results
Hello and welcome back to some more Boobs which are on your Tubes! This week, Riese and Carly podcasted that episode of The L Word where everyone took a private jet to a WNBA game. Valerie Anne wasn’t mad at Supergirl, just disappointed. However, she was absolutely not mad at Legends of Tomorrow. Carmen adored Zoe Kravitz in High Fidelity. Natalie spoke some truth alongside Good Trouble about allyship. And Heather ate up Apple TV+’s new docuseries about LGBTQ visibility on TV. Here’s a few words from the TV Team because they love you.
Notes from the TV Team:
+ I’m going to stop giving soaps credit for telling good queer stories; it just jinxes it. Soon after I praised the lesbian love story on Home and Away, it fell apart in embarrassing fashion. And then Emmerdale kidnaps Vanessa and gives her cancer in the same week?! WTF. — Natalie
+ This week on God Friended Me, Ali revealed her breast cancer diagnosis to her father. The cancer is aggressive but thanks to an early discovery, her prognosis is good. But fearing that chemo might affect her fertility, Ali decides to delay it for a month to undergo egg retrieval and freezing. — Natalie
+ Lucia came out to herself on this week’s Party of Five, a show that is so emotionally resonant and groundbreaking in its depiction of family separation that I cannot emphasize enough how much you should be watching it! On top of the fact that it is now 100% officially gay. Anyway, Natalie is working on a stand alone about this for next week, so use this weekend to binge and catch up! — Carmen
+ I feel like it’s my duty to tell you two facts. 1) Two girls, Pepper and Didi, kissed on Katy Keene. 2) I cannot, as a New Yorker, bring myself to watch that show beyond the pilot. It hurt me more than the Bold Type girls Gossip-Girl-traveling around boroughs impossibly fast. It hurt me more than the Glee kids finding a perfect loft apartment they could afford and also zipping to/from Ohio on student/artist/waiter salaries. (And my list of grievances is much longer than this but this was the kindest one I had.) So maybe someone else on our TV Team will take up the mantle, and if not, since I’m neck-deep in CW shows I’m sure if anything else happens I’ll hear about it and do my best to pass it on. — Valerie Anne
All American 213: “The Art of Peer Pressure”
Written by Natalie
Alexa, please play “Ryde or Die Chick” by the L.O.X.
Just a few weeks into their collaboration, Layla and Coop have their first track finished. Once it gets Spencer’s seal of approval, Layla announces that she wants to enter the song in a local radio contest. Before Coop can celebrate too much, Preach summons her to the LA County jail for a face-to-face meeting. When she arrives, Coop finds Preach battered and bruised. Preach warns that Tyrone’s back and he’s already targeted him and Flip and Coop is likely his next target. He advises Coop to lay low. This time, Coop actually listens, hiding out at Layla’s place, but when she crosses paths with Layla’s father, his attempt at a pep talk prompts Coop to change course.
“You know why you’re still here, Coop… your will,” J.P offers. “No matter how scary things get in your life, you never fold. If there’s one thing I learned about you, you’re not one to back down from anything or anyone, ever.”
Coop heads back to Crenshaw, stopping at Patience’s house to make sure she’s safe. Though things are still frosty between them, Coop urges Patience to pack a bag so that they can go stay with her uncle in Riverside. Patience does it without hesitation while we find out the real reason Coop’s at Patience’s house: to pick up the gun she’d stashed there. Before they can escape, Spencer shows up — having heard about Tyrone from Layla — and chastises Coop for not being more careful. She promises that she and Patience are on their way and urges him to head back to Beverly Hills. He acquiesces and seconds after he leaves, Coop pushes Patience out the door, without her.
The next day, Coop stops by Spencer’s scrimmage to watch him play from afar and gets to hear her track with Layla debut on the radio. It’s a final hoorah before she heads into battle. For his part, Tyrone’s chilling, impervious to the chaos around him. Shots ring out — though it’s not clear from where or how Tyrone wouldn’t have seen the threat coming — and, after being hit three times, Tyrone dies.
Word of Tyrone’s death filters out and Patience rushes back to Crenshaw to confront Coop. She asks her ex directly if she killed Tyrone and Coop responds with a tepid denial. Before they can engage any further, Flip interrupts: he hadn’t been attacked by Tyrone, he’d been securing his family in preparation for war. Coop spots two detectives entering the cafe and, without drawing attention to herself, pushes her bag underneath a nearby couch. The detectives invite her down to the station for questioning and she follows them out. Crenshaw’s former QB, Chris, reports the news of Coop’s “arrest” to Spencer in Beverly Hills.
Meanwhile, Patience proves she’s a real one: she collects the bag that Coop hid from the police and, under the cloak of darkness, takes the gun, wipes it down, and tosses it in the river.
All Rise 116: “My Fair Lockdown”
Written by Natalie
It’s a campaign story that’s being told plausibly…can you believe it?
Through 16 episodes of All Rise, Judge Lisa Benner has been somewhat of an enigma. Details about her have been slowly doled out, through her mentorship of newly appointed judge, Lola Carmichael, but we haven’t gotten a glimpse into what drives her…that is, until this week.
Lisa’s preparing to launch a campaign for Attorney General but before she throws her hat into the ring, she wants to be vetted by the people who know her best. She asks Lola to dig into her years in private practice and the judge’s assistant is eager to the research. Three cases catch their eye — a wrongful termination suit, a toxic tort class action and fraudulent investments — and Lola expands the investigation beyond public records. She meets up with the lead plantififf in the class action case and realizes the company, Cubrillon, shortchanged the plantifs on their settlement even though they knew the company was at fault. It’s not an illegal action but it’s unethical enough that Lola continues her investigation, this time talking to plantiff’s attorney.
This week, Lisa shows up at Lola’s office to introduce her protege to her son and narrowly avoids a run-in with the aforementioned attorney, Jean Rubenstone-Frost. She details the bullying of her clients by Cubrillon and how, six months after the settlement, internal documents leaked delaying the cover-up. Jean could never find proof that the law firm hid the documents but she remains convinced they knew and that Brenner knew. Lola questions how she can be so certain — Brenner was just a lowly associate — and Jean reveals that they seriously dated all through law school. They’d find themselves on opposite sides of the class action suit years after they’d broken up and she finally saw Lisa’s true colors.
Before she leaves the courthouse, Jean stops by Lisa’s office to give her the heads up on the investigation but thanks to an ongoing hostage situation in Lola’s courtroom, she can leave. Stuck in a room together, the exes catch up: Lisa’s widowed with a son that’s an idealistic lawyer, Jean’s divorced with two kids in college. It doesn’t take long for the lingering bitterness between them to come to the surface: first over a dog they never share, then over the Cubrillon case. Lisa admits she wanted the outcome to be discovered so, perhaps, both for political reasons ans so she could forgive herself for what happened.
Jean’s dismissive, at first, but listens as Lisa explains what really happened. Lisa admits that she leaked the documents — an admission that would ruin her career — and a shocked Jean reaches out and comforts her. Once the hostage situation is resolved, the exes part ways but not before exchanging a hug in the hallway. A surprised Lola watches their embrace and Lisa promises that they’ll revisit the issue later.
The Bold Type 405: “Tearing Down the Donut Wall”
Written by Carmen
The definitely left this episode out of The Nanny
Kat got back on Tinder at the end of the end of last week now she’s ready to take that baby for a spin. Specifically she’s looking for someone who is the exact opposite of her type, someone that she won’t build an emotional connection with. At first it looks like she’s found that person in whom our Managing Editor Rachel so perfectly described as “lesbian Fran Drescher” (keep The Nanny aesthetics, minus the voice) and unfortunately for this character, who seems like a perfectly lovely human being, that is now the only way I can refer to her.
So Kat and lesbian Fran Drescher, with her love of leopard print, gold jewelry, and a French pedicure go on a date and have some sex. Great sex even, according to Kat. And then the very next day, before she knows it, she’s going on second date with dear old Fran to an intimate game night for Fran’s friend’s birthday. Somewhere around the middle of their board game, Kat realizes she’s in too deep and bails RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DATE (poor form, Kat).
She meets up with Fran at a bar the next day to apologize, and then lesbian Fran Drescher went down in history as my favorite Kat hook up. Because when Kat tries to pull the whole “it’s not you, it’s me” routine – lesbian Fran Drescher narrows her eyes and says “I know I’m great, it’s definitely you.” Then, in the epitome of Boss Moves, she walks away.
The bartender overheard her breakup and he offers Kat a free drink to cheer her up. I’m sure we can all see where this is going, but Kat takes him home and has sex with him instead. Listen, I’m never rooting for really dope women of color to hook up with mayo bland white guys (a trend that continued last week with Hulu’s reboot of High Fidelity), but I am glad for the reminder to the audience that Kat is, in fact, bisexual. Next week, my girl is buying a strap-on!!!! An entire queer world of firsts stand before us to unfold!
Legacies 213: “You Can’t Save Them All”
Written by Valerie Anne
Legacies wasn’t on this week but I just caught up and witches we have a new queer in town! Vampire Jade was a student when the twins were little but Alaric Saltzman, who has apparently been an even bigger menace to supernatural teenage society for longer than I realized, send her to a prison world with two of her friends when they were caught having done a massacre. While technically they did do the murders, if Alaric had taken ten minute to talk to them and hear what actually happened, he would have realized that the truth of it was they were being bullied and were ill-equipped to handle their supernatural powers under stress.
If he had just LISTENED he would have realized that he didn’t have uncontrollable monsters on his hands, just scared teenagers who just needed more guidance. But instead he panicked because he’s a human species-ist and always has thought the worst of supernatural creatures, despite supposedly loving his family. Anyway, one of the people in charge of this bullying session was a girl Jade thought might be into her, and though she was sleeping with Kai in the prison world, she does admit to be on the preferring girls end of the bisexual spectrum. When they get back to Mystic Falls, Jade had her humanity switch flipped back on and she smiled with kind eyes on Josie, who got a little flustered as she smiled back. Which is relatable.
A Ripper and a Gemini? Don’t mind if I do.
So if Hope is going to insist on choosing the flaming marshmallow over Josie (though she did choose to save Josie over him, she still went back to him romantically in the end), especially now that we know they have something in common, with Josie having Dark Josie hiding just under the surface, and Jade being a Ripper, I can pivot to shipping Josie and Jade.
Autostraddle March Madness — Best Coming Out: International
Last year, when I was putting together our first March Madness, I noticed some comments from readers on one of our weekly Boobs on Your Tube columns alerting us to a surprise coming out story on an episode of a relatively new British sitcom called Derry Girls. It was long before the show would show up on Netflix and capitivate us all but it really got me thinking about the representation more globally. So I decided I’d add an International region to March Madness…both as a tribute to our international readers and as a way to expand the conversation about LGBT representation on television. I set off to find 16 competitors for the International region and was shocked by what I found.
I found Las Estrellas, an Argentinian telenovela that afforded its lesbian couple every bit as much depth and screentime as its straight couples. I found shows like Vis a vis which, though comparable to Orange is the New Black in terms of subject matter, was doing what OITNB did but on network television. I found shows like Perdona nuestros pecados and Jugo Duplo that featured some of the most provocative lesbian scenes I’d ever seen on television. I found communities of queer women sharing these stories on widely on the Internet — on twitter, Tumblr and Youtube — and even translating the scenes so that language wouldn’t be a barrier to seeing our love showcased.
That’s not to say it’s all amazing: after all, Coronation Street did just kill one of the few lesbian Muslim characters on television (RIP Rana Habeeb) and I’m pretty sure Neighbours is engaged in some of the worst queerbaiting I’ve seen in a while. But still, there’s plenty of good stuff out there…and, perhaps, one of this year’s International regional competitors will pique your interest.
As always, you have 48 hours to vote for your favorites in the International region. If you’ve seen the episodes, vote accordingly. If not, check out my descriptions or links to video of those scenes (where available). We’ll be back on Monday to review which 32 characters have advanced past the first round and will compete for a shot at the Sweet 16.
#1. Mercedes Möller – Perdona nuestros pecados
Just before Mercedes Möller comes out to her father, the fictional Chilean town in which the show is set, Villa Ruiseñor, is struck by an earthquake. Left alone in the living room while her girlfriend, Bárbara, looks for candles, Mercedes’ home is broken into my two thugs looking for money and jewels. They try to assault her but before things can get to far, Bárbara swoops in and saves her. She clings to Barbara like a life raft after that, drawing the suspicions of her father, and is heartbroken when he pushes Bárbara out the door to go check on her husband. Later when her father confronts her about Bárbara, Mercedes tries to paint their relationship as purely friendship but, eventually, she can’t abide the lies anymore.
“I am a woman and I love her. I love Bárbara Román,” Mercedes says, adding later, “Don’t you think it’s hard for me to admit? But I don’t want to lie to you anymore. I don’t want any more lies.”
Mercedes’ father reacts angrily to having his long-held suspicions confirmed and slaps Mercedes twice but it only makes her more resolved to stand in her truth.
#16. Sophie Webster – Coronation Street
Before Sophie Webster comes out to her father, she, her girlfriend, Sian, and her family attend the wedding of Roy Cropper to Hayley Patteson (who was, coincidentally, the first trans character on a British soap and the first trans character to be a series regular worldwide). At the wedding, Claire Peacock outed Sophie and Sian to the entire congregration but Sophie’s overbearing mother, Sally, called Claire a liar and assures Sophie and Sian that no one thinks they aren’t “normal.”
Later, alone with her father, Sophie confesses the truth: “Me and Sian — what Claire said — it’s true, we’re together.”
#2. Nasreen Paracha – Ackley Bridge
Just before Nasreen comes out to her mother, she’s agreed to get married, to a man, at the behest of her absolute bum of a father. Nas’ mom, Kaneez, is totally opposed to the marriage, worried that her daughter will fall into the same trap that she did. It’s not her dad that convinces her to do it, though…nor is it the money that marrying into this well-off Pakistani family might provide; she agrees to marry a man because a woman’s broken her heart.
Once Nas affirms that getting married is really what she wants, her mother acquiesces and they begin to make arrangements. But when Nas is forced to look at herself in the mirror with her mother’s wedding jewelry strung across her hair, she realizes she can’t do it. Her mother assumes that she’s reluctant because she likes and English boy but Nasreen tearfully admits that’s not the reason.
“I love a girl,” she says, “I love…I love another woman, Mum. I’m a lesbian.”
Nas’ mother doesn’t respond well in the moment but her journey to accepting her daughter is best coming out arcs I’ve seen on television.
#15. Bernadette Taylor – Eastenders
After the death of one of their friends last May, Bernadette and her friends sneak into a local nightclub to celebrate the way their friend would have wanted with a good party. The teens get drunk and play the requisite drinking games: first truth or dare and then spin the bottle. The first time Bernie’s best friend, Tiff, spins the bottle, it lands on her and, after some prodding from the boys, the two girls kiss…which leads to confusion from Bernie about her feelings. Then, when it’s time for Tiff the spin the bottle again, it lands on her brother, and Bernie watches with jealously as Tiff kisses him. Seven months later, less confused about her feelings about Tiffany, Bernie comes out to her mother during a New Year’s celebration.
“I think I’m in love…with a girl,” Bernie admits pensively. “Do you hate me?”
“How could I ever hate you?” her mom replies, beaming at her daughter like she just hung the moon. “You are who you are, Darling. I’m so proud of you.”
#3. Valentina Carvajal – Amar a Muerte
Coming out is difficult for anyone but coming out when you’ve got the whole world watching? That’s a pressure that most people can’t even fathom. But Valentina does it, for herself, for Juliana and for all the people who’d try to shame them for the love they share.
Valentina is part of a prominent family: until his murder, her father, Leon Carvajal, was a successful, rich and powerful media mogul. Some paparazzi are out to cash in on the details of her personal life — revelations that they think will cause harm and embarrassment to her family — and, before they tell her story for her, Valentina decides to do it on her own terms. In a television interview, she admits to falling into a depression after her father’s death and turning to alcohol to help her cope. She was finally able to escape the darkness thanks to an incredible person…an incredible woman.
“Valentina, so you came to this show to reveal that you’re openly gay?” the interviewer asks.
She takes a moment and then answers the question directly, “I’m not a fan of labels to be honest but the truth is that I’m in love with a woman and her name is Juliana Valdes.”
#14. Vanessa Woodfield – Emmerdale
Vanessa Woodfield’s history with Charity Dingle is fraught (though, in fairness, that can pretty much be said for nearly everyone in Emmerdale). Charity once worked with Vanessa’s father, Frank, to steal some diamonds and in the post-heist haze, the pair share a kiss and it leads to a one-night stand. When word gets back to Frank’s fiancée, Megan, she joins forces with Charity and sets abaout to have Frank arrested on a trumped up fraud charge. So, like I said…the history is fraught…
As a result, there’s no one more surprised than Vanessa when a drunken kiss with Charity just a few months later re-awakens an interest in women. Fearful that the word will get out — or, at the very least, that Charity will continue to torment her with their secret — Vanessa tells her father and the entire town about her burgeoning sexuality.
“To save you from gossiping and for anyone she hasn’t yet announced it to, I slept with Charity,” Vanessa announces in the town pub. “Right now I don’t know if I’m gay, straight, bi, curious, I’m just having fun finding out. So, no labels, no gossip and no laughing.”
#4. Juliana Valdés – Amar a Muerte
In a lot of ways, Juliana’s coming out feels reminscient of Spencer Carlin’s on South of Nowhere: mother finds her daughter kissing her girlfriend and angrily tries to separate them. But what makes what happens on Amar a Muerte a thousand times better — and what makes Juliana’s coming out scene feel really triumphant — is Juliana’s willingness to stand up to her mother and take a firm stand for her love for Valentina.
When her mother tries to grab Valentina, Juliana pushes her away and plants herself between her girlfriend and the danger. When her mother argues that what they’re doing is wrong, Juliana confidentally asserts that there’s nothing wrong about the love between her and Valentina. No one took advantage of her, she says when her mother suggests otherwise, and reminds her of Valentina’s generosity to them both. Juliana is willing to fight for her love.
“This is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever felt in my whole life,” Juliana proclaims, as she slips her hand into Valentina’s.
#13. Liv Flaherty – Emmerdale
Television has not been kind to asexual characters and, in particular, asexual women. Of the limited number of portrayals of asexuality in pop culture, most of the characters have skewed male with the exception of Poppy on the short-lived Huge and Val on Sirens. I’m grateful that asexual women, especially asexual teens, now have representation again in the form of Liv Flaherty on Emmerdale.
Two things struck me about Liv coming out to her brother: first, it does a good job at explaining asexuality in an organic and conversational way. Emmerdale balances representation of underrepresented communities with education as well as any show I’ve seen. Second, it’s notable that Liv’s this conversation with her brother, Aaron, who is gay…because being part of the LGBTQIA community doesn’t always mean we don’t need educating on other facets of sexuality.
#5. Sara Millán (Óscar Ruiz) – Las Chicas Del Cable
Carlota becomes suspicious of her girlfriend, Sara, when she discovers that she’s meeting in hotel room with a man named Óscar Ruiz. She follows her, discovers Sara dressed in men’s clothing and confronts her about it. Sara admits that she is Óscar Ruiz. She recounts a part of her childhood — her dressing up in her brother’s clothes — and how, initially, her father though nothing of it. But after a while, she’d done it so often that people started to talk and her father threatened her to get her to stop.
“One day, I stood up to him. I told him how I felt: a man trapped in a woman’s body,” she admits to Carlota. “He gave me a terrible beating. He told me I was sick, and he made me swear I’d never do it again. I managed to control my impulses out of fear of my father, but now he isn’t here.”
#12. Hailey Yarner – The Bletchley Circle: San Francisco
When Hailey Yarner comes out to her mentor, Iris Bearden, they’re using their code-breaking skills to thwart a drug-smuggling ring and some corrupt police officers. The drug-smuggling ring has been using the codes of the Mattachine Society — one of the first gay rights activist groups — to cover their elicit activity. As they work, Hailey comes out to Iris in a whisper and Iris doesn’t mince words when she tells her to keep it quiet…it’s still the 1950s after all. Her reaction infuriate Hailey until finally
“I like women,” Hailey tells Iris in “Iron in War.” “In ways that I shouldn’t, but so much so, I stopped giving a damn. And I know you’re worried about me saying it out loud, worried the truth’ll go and wreck everything. But not saying it, that’s wrecking me worse, in a million different ways.”
Eventually, Iris realizes her folly and accepts her apprentice for who she is.
#6. Sydney Katz – Saving Hope
It’s been nearly two years since the Canadian medical drama Saving Hope went off the air but I wanted to highlight this storyline which illuminates the challenges of coming out in the Orthodox Jewish community. Plus, I’m happy to celebrate any time Stacey Farber plays gay as a way to console myself over the fact that Ellie Nash wasn’t gay on Degrassi (#stillmad)…but I digress…
Before she comes out to Maggie officially — the pair had already shared a kiss before this conversation so it wasn’t exactly a secret — they get a patient who’s having baby with her partner. The patient recognizes Sydney immediately and orders her to stay far away from her. Sydney explains later, that the patient, Neshema, was her first crush and, as a child, when she saw her kissing another girl, she ran and told Neshema’s mother…not because of what the Bible says but because she was so heartbroken. As Sydney grieves over all the pain she caused, Maggie reminds her that Neshema is happy today.
Later, Sydney comes back to Maggie and admits, “I like girls. There. I said it,” before they kiss again.
#11. Clare Devlin – Derry Girls
Short on material for the new issue of The Habit, Erin decides to steal an essay from the school’s “Searching For Myself” writing competition and pass it off as actual journalism. She stumbles on an entry entitled, “Suffocation: the secret life of a gay teenager” and knows right away that it’s the one they want to print. Clare objects and Erin asks, “You’re not afraid of a bit of controversy, are you?”
At which point, I yell, “have you even met her?” at my television. Because, of course, Clare is afraid of controversy. No one even suspects her of being the “wee lesbian” because Clare hyperventilating over getting in trouble is a given in almost every circumstance. But Erin doesn’t need Clare’s approval and opts to publish it anyway. Clare Devlin comes out, anonymously, in the pages of the school magazine. The experience helps her realize that the fears that she’s been carrying about coming out weren’t legitimate.
“I’m the wee lesbian,” she admits. “I’ve never been brave enough to say it out loud before, but I think that’s why I wrote the story, and then it all got too real, I got too scared, but now, well, you’ve made me realize it’s all OK.”
#7. Luisita Gómez – Amar es para siempre
There’s a moment, just after Luisita Gomez comes out to her mother, Manolita, on Amar es para siempre where her mother’s discussing Luisita’s revelation with her other daughter, Maria. Despite Luisita’s unequivocal admission of love for Amelia, Manolita’s skeptical. Luisita is prone to impulsiveness and Manolita’s convinced that this is just another example of it. She doubts that her daughter has really thought this through.
“But you always told us about Teresa and Ana, and you told us they were really happy,” Maria points out. The mere mention of Teresa and Ana gives me a bout of “Bury Your Gays” PTSD but later Maria adds, “I think, step by step, things are changing…we are not in the same situation as when Teresa and Ana fell in love.”
It’s as much an admission about the times that Amar es para siempre depicts as it, seemingly, is about the show itself and its commitment not to repeat the mistakes of the past. But, I digress…
Manolita’s worry about Luisita is unfounded because her love for Amelia has put everything into perspective for her. She’s thinking as clearly as she ever has…a fact made abundantly clear when she contemplates coming out to her father.
“Love exists,” Luisita tells her father, as sure as she’s ever been about anything. “And I’ve found it and I have also found that special person. Dad, the person who I’ve falled in love with — the love of my life — that person is Amelia.”
#10. Manuela “Manu” Gandia – Like, la leyenda
The best way I can think to describe Like, la leyenda is as a cross between Degrassi and GLEE…or, if you’re a fan of Mexican telenovelas, consider Like a modern Rebelde reboot. The show centers around the happenings of a large cast of young people at a prestigious prep school (LIKE stands for “Life Institute of Knowledge Evolution”) and, of those students, eight kids perform as part of the school’s band. Almost immediately, the show cements Manuela “Manu” Gandia as an someone that’s unapologetically herself and who doesn’t hesistate to speak her mind and push the limits of everyone else around her. It’s fitting then that when she comes out, about a third of the way through the telenovela’s run, it’s not really about her. Manuela’s always been sure of who she is; instead, she comes out to defy some else’s homophobic father.
Manuela’s classmate, Pablo, brings her home to meet his parents and participate in the family’s annual awards show competition. Pablo’s father is relieved that his son has finally brought home a girlfriend, as he was starting to worry. She and Pablo quickly set his parents straight about the nature of their relationship — they’re just friends, obviously — and his mother assures Manuela that she’ll find a guy one day.
“Or a girl,” Manuela quickly adds, revealing her bisexuality to these parents whom she’s just met. Pablo’s father doesn’t take the revelation well and chastises Manu for her choices but she stays firm. Unbeknownst to her, by standing in her truth, she’s given other people the power and permission to do the same and, in the very next episode, Pablo comes out to her as gay.
#8. Umang Singh – Four More Shots Please
There’s something familiar — and slightly derivative, if I’m being honest — about Four More Shots Please, the original Indian series from Amazon. It’s a more modern take on Sex and the City, complete with its own Carrie (Sayani Gupta’s Damini), Miranda (Kirti Kulhari’s Anjana), Charlotte (Maanvi Gagroo’s Siddhi) and Samantha (Bani J’s Umang). Of course, telling those stories through the eyes of four Indian women — Four More Shots Please is groundbreaking in its foregrounding of those stories — makes it a very different show than SATC or its contemporaries, Girls and Insecure.
In FMSP, Bani J plays Umang Singh, a 20-something woman from a Punjabi village who escapes to Mumbai to lives as an out bisexual woman and advance her career as an in-demand personal trainer. The most relatable thing about Umang? She falls in love with Lisa Ray’s Samara Kapoor. Yes, that’s Lisa Ray of I Can’t Think Straight and The World Unseen fame. Queer women have been falling in love Lisa Ray for years…totally relatable content.
I don’t want to give too much of the plot away — FMSP is still relatively new content, after all — but it’s Umang’s love for Samara compels her to finally come out to her family….even as they’re trying to introduce her to the man they want her to marry and her closeted ex-girlfriend sits nearby.
#9. Morgane Guého – Demain nous appartient
When Sandrine meets Morgane, the connection between them is almost instanteous…Sandrine literally starts seeing stars after Morgane walks through the door. But when Sandrine’s son feels unsettled by his mom’s new relationship, she puts the breaks on their budding relationship. Morgane’s reluctantly acquiesces, saying that she’s never had a connection like this with anyone so she’s willing to wait.
It takes just a couple of weeks for Sandrine to change her mind and rather than take things slowly, she moves fullsteam ahead: renting a hotel room for the two of them. Morgane never shows. The next day, she tries to apologize but her apologies are full vague platitudes and Sandrine has zero interest in hearing her excuses. If Morgane can’t be honest about the complicated things in her life, Sandrine asks, what’s the point of continuing their relationship? That’s when Morgane decides to come out to Sandrine as trans.
“All my life, I felt like I was stuck in the wrong body and I kept this for myself. I was scared to be rejected so I didn’t say anything. But I started to hate myself, I couldn’t love anyone or love myself,” Morgane admits. “It took a few years but I became myself.”
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Boobs on Your Tube: Eve Returns to Her Soul Mate’s Side on “How to Get Away With Murder”
This morning I — Hi, this is Heather — woke up to a message in the Autostraddle TV Team Slack channel from Natalie that said, “The Tegan-Annalise Watch is officially over.” By which I thought she meant Tegan and Annalise hooked up on How to Get Away With Murder last night. And my heart sped up a little bit and I was like, “Finally.” But then I kept scrolling down and saw not one, not two, but three screencaps of Eve Rothlo and I leapt out of bed like my head was on fire to get to my DVR. It’s the first time in my life I have ever wished for an Echo. “ALEXA PLAY THE MOST IMPORTANT THING ON TELEVISION!”
Some other cool things happened this week: Toni and Cheryl scissored on a pile of money they stole from rich people, the way the good Lord intended. We did a roundtable about the history and highs and lows of lesbian sex on TV. Rachel read every single one of you on the subject of Gillian Anderson. Natalie started recapping Good Trouble! Kayla reviewed Sex Education, which she loved! The #10YearChallenge celebrated Sara Ramirez’s glow-up. And Valerie celebrated Critical Role!
Here’s what else, including the most important thing, which, as I have stated, is ANNALISE AND EVE.
How to Get Away With Murder 109: “He Betrayed Us Both”
Written by Natalie
So, I’ve got to be honest, dear Reader: I wasn’t really paying attention to most of How to Get Away With Murder last night. In my defense, I knew the episode was going to be centered around Gabriel Maddox and Sam Keating…well…
#NotAllMen, but these particular men? TRASH.
I just wasn’t invested in the revelations about Sam’s offspring or even the fallout from Matt McNamara Ronald Miller’s murder so I wasn’t giving HTGAWM my full attention. As a result, when this popped up on the screen, I totally missed it:
In my defense, if I had seen it, I probably would’ve brushed it off — this was going to be a flashback heavy episode so, of course, we’d see Eve again — but, also, if I had seen it, perhaps I wouldn’t have gasped when Eve Rothlo appeared on my screen.
The ghost of Eve Rothlo, past.
All the O-M-F-G moments over five seasons of this damn show until now and the one and only time I’ve ever been genuinely startled is when Eve showed up on my screen for the first time in 826 days. And that moment was great. I have such a profound connection to this couple. Seeing Eve re-emerge in Annalise’s narrative, even for a minute, to give the woman she loves the life she said she wanted, even if it’s at her expense, made my heart sing.
But then this happened….
MY SHIP IS SAILING.
And I screamed. Out loud. At my TV.
Eve’s there. In Philadelphia. In the present. Wearing nothing that resembles an engagement/wedding ring (#SorryNotSorry, Vanessa from California).
“He never deserved you Annalise,” she says.
And, then, in an instant, after weeks of hoping for an Annalise and Tegan hook-up, my heart turns.
Don’t worry, Tegan, you’ve still got Michaela.
Next Thursday can’t come soon enough.
All American 109: “Keep Ya Head Up”
Written byNatalie
Last time on All American, Coop and Shawn are on the phone, celebrating his escape from gang life, when a rival guns Shawn down outside his building. Patience hoped the tragedy would be enough to tear her girlfriend away from the violence but ultimately, it seemed to only pull Coop further in.
The midseason premiere picks up soon thereafter: the neighborhood’s gathered to mourn Shawn and all those they’ve lost to gun violence. The pastor wonders who they’ll mourn next and, for a brief moment, casts his attention towards Coop; she doesn’t flinch but Patience shifts uncomfortably in her seat. Back at the apartment, Patience worries that Coop’s name will be the next one they read out in church and Coop assures her that she’ll be fine. Patience urges Coop to walk away from the gang but she refuses: if roles were reversed and something had happened to her, she knows Shawn wouldn’t have walked away.
“No, he would be doing exactly what you’re doing right now, and that’s why his name was read in church today,” Patience points out. Unable to make any headway with her girlfriend, Patience reaches out to Spencer for help. The news is disconcerting enough for Spencer that he blows off an important scrimmage and an interview with a local reporter to head back to Crenshaw to save his best friend from making a life-altering mistake.
Meanwhile, Coop’s growing impatient with Tyrone and the crew: they know who killed Shawn but still haven’t gotten retribution for his murder. Tyrone tells her to fall back but he likes seeing this fight in Coop. Before things can get too deep, Spencer interrupts and confronts Coop about her behavior. He’s carrying around a lot of guilt about Shawn’s death — he should’ve done more to keep Shawn off the criminal path — and he refuses to repeat that mistake with Coop.
“You’re not built for this life, Coop, and that don’t mean you weak, all right? It means you strong,” he tells her. It’s not clear that she buys into what Spence is selling until Tyrone offers Coop Shawn’s old spot. She declines the offer, pledging to let her quest for vengeance go, and Tyrone begrudgingly accepts her refusal.
Later, Coop goes hunting for Ray, the guy who shot Shawn. When she finds him, she promises that no retribution will be coming his way. She notices that he’s carrying Shawn’s bag — the same one he gave to Tyrone to buy his way out of the gang — and begins questioning everything. Ray urges her to stop asking so many questions or she might get herself killed. But even without asking the questions aloud, Coop realizes what really happened to Shawn.
Instead of going to the police or going back to talk to a lawyer or taking Patience and getting as far away from this mess as humanly possible, Coop heads to the church for Shawn’s memorial service and tells Tyrone she’s reconsidered. She’s too late, though, Tyrone’s given the spot to someone else. Coop pauses her quest for the moment, to comfort Shawn’s mother and take in Patience’s rendition of River, but she is undeterred. Later Coop meets up with Tyrone and his crew and asks again to be let inside his circle…this time, Tyrone acquiesces, only first she must be jumped in. Coop agrees and two members appear and pummel her, while the man who ordered the hit on Shawn looks on.
Quick Hits
Grey’s Anatomy 1509: “Shelter From the Storm”
RIP Cece. You deserved so much better.
Greys killed a gay. She was black. Her only purpose was to fix the lives of the straight and/or white people around her. That wouldn’t have ever happened under Shonda’s watch. Hellmouth mourned her. Turns out that in addition to already being the show’s comedic strength, she has real dramatic chops. Maybe give her a girlfriend so we can see more of her. End scene.
In all seriousness, as Riese noted in Autostraddle’s 2018 television report, while there are fewer queer women dying on television overall, the few who are still dying are overwhelmingly black. It’s heartbreaking to me personally to see Grey’s Anatomy continuing that trend. — Carmen
grown-ish 204: “In My Feelings”
Nomi didn’t figure heavily in this week’s episode of grown-ish but I did want to note this episode for a couple of reasons: first, it tapped into an interesting conversation about “genius” – what it means, who earns the label (dudes) and who doesn’t (women), etc. – and second, it debuted an amazing video from the identity-concealing rapper (and genius), Leikeli47, which featured an extended cameo from Samira Wiley.
Don’t forget to set your DVR for next week’s Nomi-centric episode, where we’ll get to meet her new Gender Studies professor and lesbian svengali, Shane McCutcheon. — Natalie
For months now, Sophie’s been relentless in pursuit of justice for her mom, even as everyone else expressed their doubts and even as her own personal life languished in the process. But this week, her machinations finally paid off, as Duncan, the real culprit, issued a full confession and Sally’s released from prison, pending appeal. The instant things finally look settled though, Sophie recognizes what she’s lost, including her relationship with Paula. When she and Tim meet with the solicitor to talk about Sally’s impending release, there’s a moment where Sophie looks like she wants to talk about their personal relationship but Paula rushes off.
Meanwhile, the Cobbles’ other lesbian couple, Kate and Rana, are much better off. Rana met up with Zeedan this week to dissolve their nikah…a necessary, but bittersweet, step before she can marry Kate. Their celebration is marred by Kate’s father’s upcoming court case. Rana tells Kate she doesn’t mind postponing their wedding until things are resolved with her dad. — Natalie
I don’t write about Emmerdale nearly enough…which is a shame because, among the genre, it’s doing the best job with its lesbian relationship. For a show that’s on almost daily to be able to tell this love story between these two women, Charity and Vanessa, and not descend into god awful tropes; it’s truly unprecedented in my experience.
Last week, Donny Cairn, furious at Charity’s cousin for having gotten his son locked up, attempted to set the pub on fire with Charity and her entire family inside. Vanessa happens upon him, as he’s pouring the gas, and fights to stop him, only to get stabbed in the process. Donny sets the pub ablaze and escapes in Vanessa’s car, which still has her young son still strapped in the backseat. She calls Charity for help and her girlfriend finds her, collapsed outside. Vanessa begs Charity to leave her and go find her son which she does, begrudgingly. It all works out — Charity tracks down Donny, subdues him, and rescue’s Vanessa’s son and, after a brief scare, Vanessa recovers from her injuries — but it’s enough to make Charity realize that she cannot go another day without telling Vanessa what she means to her.
Once Charity finds the perfect ring, she struggles to think of the perfect proposal. She wants to give Vanessa the world but when she can’t think of a setting perfect enough for Vanessa, Charity just steals someone else’s. It’s hilarious, ultimately, heartwarming and absolutely perfect. I loved it all so, so much. — Natalie
The Flash 510: “The Flash and the Furious”
I’m starting to think they had that brief flash of Nora being into girls in that one episode to shut me up, specifically. They haven’t mentioned it since, no more hints that Nora is queer. There was a new baddie introduced in this episode though, Silver Ghost, and while there’s no definitive sign she’s queer, she made me feel extra gay, so. There’s that. — Valerie Anne
Travelers Season Three
I thought I might like Travelers because it seemed like it might have a little bit of a Quantum Leap vibe, and that was my favorite show when I was a little kid. It kinda does but the show’s pretty mediocre sci-fi. I heard the word there were some gays in season three, which landed on Netflix a few weeks ago, and there are, but they’re also mediocre. One new character, Joanne Yates, is a lesbian, which is explored only as far as her saying “same here” when her partner says he’s having wife problems. In the final episode, the guest characters are a couple named Samantha and Amanda. They almost kill two billion people by destroying the ozone with a new invention, but a traveler jumps into their body and stops it from happening. In my opinion, here’s a better use of your time. — Heather
Boobs on Your Tube: “Grey’s Anatomy” Returns With Three Entire Queer Women
We don’t know about you, but we’ve hardly ever been more relieved to have regular season teevee back than we were these last few days. This week Riese worked up a Bi TV quiz, Carmen wrote about a beautiful fan-created Calzona comic book (which Shonda Rhimes then tweeted out!!!!), Heather published a Bad Behavior issue personal essay about the ’90s UK soap Bad Girls, Valerie recapped the Wynonna Earp (which closes out its third season next week!), and we updated our list of best bisexual characters for Bi Week! Here’s what else!
The Purge 104: “Release the Beast”
Written by Carmen
If one of your favorite TV aesthetics is babes in ball gowns huddled in together and touching arms while speaking softly, then this is the episode for you! Jenna and Lila spend a lot of time alone and though they don’t kiss this week (don’t worry! you get to see them post-coitus in a flashback, so all is not lost!), their energy nevertheless crackles off each other. Lila can tell that Jenna still has a good heart, she’s not like Rick – who is more than willing to bow to the NFFA if it means a big paycheck. She encourages her love to leave him, really laying it all on the line. She promises that no one will love her like she can. Jenna won’t budge, she’s pregnant with Rick’s baby. Lila counters that families come in all shapes and sizes. It’s sincere and heartfelt. The “grand declaration” of great romances. You can see the flicker in Jenna’s eyes. She’s wavering, if only a little. Something tells me that small crack is all Lila needs.
It’s ok, sometimes we all make that noise in bed. Carolyn tells me its normal.
In flashback we get final confirmation of what has so far been implied about the triad: Rick and Jenna found Lila when going through a slump in their marriage. All three clicked immediately, so knowing this was more than a “one night thing” Jenna and Rick quickly moved to establish the boundaries of their relationship, chief among them that neither of the married couple should have sex with Lila alone. I hated that the rules scene was done without Lila in the room. I know that polyamory works different for every couple, but without showing on screen that Lila had a say in creating their parameters it felt as if she was ultimately silenced in an uneven relationship. OBVIOUSLY Jenna and Lila hook up alone, because why would you be with a Sack of Potatoes when you could be with a hot girl instead? Exactly. Also, Lila supports Jenna. She believes in her career ambitions to make a difference for the poor. Rick seems mostly interested in dimming Jenna’s light to better shine his own.
Rick finds them together in bed one day, and that’s when it all falls apart. In the present, he becomes enraged anew at the realization that Lila and Jenna are once again spending time without him. Awww, poor man baby! I don’t care.
Here’s live dispatch from our very own Valerie on Lila and Jenna: “I’m obsessed with them even though they’re probably both going to die (probably at the hand of their father and husband somehow).” I wholeheartedly agree, even though I naively continue to believe that they won’t die! I think they’re going to band together and kill all the evil rich white men instead. And then drink from their cold, dead bodies like it’s a crossover episode with True Blood.
BANG. BANG. DOWN GOES THE MISOGYNY. BANG. BANG.
Speaking of misandry and murder, Jane has ridiculously left the safety of her armored work building and into the night IN THE MIDDLE OF PURGE NIGHT (side note: in real life black women are not this stupid, we have excellent self-preservation skills. Why do horror movies always get that wrong? I know why. It’s so we can die first. ANYWAY). She makes it less than two blocks and she almost gets raped. Thankfully, before the assault can go any further, the most awesome group of radical feminist Avengers show up in a off-white passenger van like it’s a white knight on a horse! They call themselves the Matron Saints. They’re strapped for business. Apparently three women are killed for every man each Purge, and that’s not including the dramatic uptick for sexual assault and rape. These bad bitches are here to “protect the females of this fair nation for the gendercide of Purge.”
FUCK. YES. (This week, especially.)
Grey’s Anatomy 1501 – 1502: “With a Wonder and a Wild Desire” and “Broken”
Written by Carmen
I have good news, and I have bad news. The good news is that the two hour Grey’s Anatomy premiere last night featured THREE queer women! That’s right. Three. Which is quite a way to begin your apology tour to queer fans still licking our wounds over the lost of our beloved Dr. Arizona Robbins.
Now the bad news, not a single one of those queer women kiss anyone, touch anyone, or do anything explicitly “gay” (Well except for Intern Hellmouth Helm, because pining over an older straight woman who will never love you back is the gayest, just ask any lesbian or bisexual teen girl in America. Or half of our Autostraddle staff. Ahem.)
In case you were wondering, it’s a can of hairspray. Carina lost the bet.
Let’s start with Carina DeLuca. First of all, congratulations on not getting shipped off to the Parking Lot of No Return! Way to go, hot stuff! I thought for sure that with Arizona busy rekindling her sweet, sweet love with Callie Torres underneath New York City street lights, Carina was going to be on the first thing smoking out of Seattle. I’ve never been happier to be proven wrong. She doesn’t get to do a lot, just poke fun at her little brother’s growing God complex (blerg) and make a quick gay joke! Dr. Webber calls her in to do her Dr. Orgasm song-and-dance after a male patient shoved an “unknown object” up the butt, presumably to pleasure himself. Carina correctly diagnoses the problem as straight male stupidity, because – and I quote – “gay men know how to use proper sex toys, so that they don’t get lost up there.”
Sing it, sister. Queer sex is better sex, pass it on.
True Story: last season Helm said she wanted to literally drown in Meredith’s hair.
Intern Hellmouth (Dammit! I mean Intern Helm. This year will be the year we call Taryn Helm by her proper name, in Lesbian Jesus we pray. Amen.) continues to openly swoon over Meredith. It’s a full on puppy dog, heart eyes meltdown. Meredith gripes or barks or says whatever snarky comment she feels like spewing that day, and poor Helm just drools over her. I want to wrap her in a blanket, warm her up some soy milk with a cinnamon stick, and warn her about the ways of our people. Sadly, Intern Helm is a fictional character and therefore I cannot.
But, do you know who can? Cece, a professional matchmaker and patient of the week at Grey Sloan Memorial. She takes one look at Helm falling over herself in Meredith’s presence and tells her the hard truth that every baby gay has to hear at some point, “I spent 35 years of my life falling for straight women.” Helm stammers that she doesn’t know what Cece’s talking about, but our sage doesn’t let up. “Hook me up to that thing and sit down, let me save you from a whole life of misery.”
Not here to service your white plots. Not today. Not ever.
Here’s the thing; I want to like Cece. She’s funny and her blonde pixie cut is gorgeous. I like her attitude. I’m always and forever going to be on team queer black women. Y’all know that about me. Plus, with Meredith hiring Cece at the end of the episode to be her match maker, I think we will be seeing more of her in the future. That’s my worry. So far, everything about how her character is deployed in the premiere gives off Magical Negro trope vibes. That, I cannot abide. I’m not ringing the alarm bells yet, but let’s just say that my Spidey senses are very much tingling. Tread lightly, Grey’s.
Post-Op Thoughts:
We don’t talk about straight romances much around these parts, but UGH WHY DID THEY BRING TEDDY ALTMAN BACK FOR THIS?? She had a happy ending already. In Germany. I wanted that for her. She deserves better than yet another re-warmed love triangle involving Owen fucking Hunt.
For my Everything Sucks! fans, I can confirm that there’s a small Peyton Kennedy sighting in the first hour of the premiere. It looks like she’s gotten taller over the summer! Cute.
Glasses and Dr. Kim – I’m very much here for this.
How to Get Away With Murder 501: “Your Funeral”
Written by Natalie
LEATHER. PANTS.
Apparently, since the crown for the best-dressed character on television is up for grabs now that Olivia Pope has retired to the woods of Vermont, the HTGAWM wardrobe department has stepped up their game. The styling in this episode is flawless: Annalise in those leather pants. Tegan in that pencil skirt. Annalise in the bold colors (Viola Davis wears color better than anyone else in Hollywood. This is a fact). But I digress… [Editor’s note: That is not a digression!]
Annalise has her swagger back. Fresh off her big win at the Supreme Court, AK’s career prospects are looking up: she’s back in the classroom, teaching Advanced Trial Skills at Middleton, and being recruited by every law firm in Pennsylvania, both large and small. She’s unflinching in asking for what she’s worth, salary-wise, and is looking for a place to reunite her team — her, Bonnie and maybe Frank — to continue defending the plaintiffs from her class action suit. Of course, things can never be easy for AK and she’s dealt two roadblocks: first, Bonnie’s not particularly interested in leaving the DA’s office and second, as retribution for her class action suit, the governor is threatening any firm that brings Annalise onboard. All her offers are pulled and Annalise is left to wallow in a pint of Ben & Jerry’s.
After a pep talk from Frank — because that’s what he’s been reduced to now, pep talks and daddy duty — Annalise marches back into Caplan & Gold and reasserts herself. Knowing that she’s up against it, the partners at C&G pushback. Annalise won’t take less than what she’s worth, and they eventually offer her a job.
Know who’s not thrilled about Annalise joining the ranks of Caplan & Gold? Tegan Price. She wants a clean break from the Jorge Castillo mess — and, of course, she doesn’t want to be outed as the whistleblower. She can’t do that with Annalise around. As AK finalizes her deal, Tegan looks on with a mix of fear and thirst flashing on her face.
Tegan “The Thirst Is Real” Price, at your service
Back in the classroom, Annalise offers a year’s worth of law school tuition for the student with the highest ranking at the end of the semester, bringing back the competition between students that we saw in the first season. Another hallmark of season one that re-emerges? Asher Millstone being on the outside looking in. Annalise nixes his involvement in the class for being inauthentic and his classmates and Baby Christopher move into a house without him. After having spent most of Thursday listening to an overly privileged straight white man snarl over not having things go his way, seeing Asher’s react to everything felt not a little too on the nose for me.
Three months from now, someone on HTGAWM will die. They’ll be walking wounded, outside the space hosting Connor and Oliver’s wedding, before collapsing to the ground, staining the pure white snow with their crimson blood. The murder is shown entirely from the victim’s perspective this time — their view becomes ours — and, as we gasp for breath, we spot Baby Christopher sitting on the snow nearby as Bonnie comes to snuff out what’s left of our life.
As is their wont, HTGAWM will spend the next seven weeks slowly revealing clues to exactly who was or wasn’t murdered during the wedding. However, as Bonnie suffocated the wounded victim — as she suffocated us — I wondered if this is how the show ends. Is this just a new camera technique the show wanted to try out? Or should we take the audience’s apparent death as a sign that the end is nigh.
Quick Hits
Killjoys 410: “Sporemageddon”
The Season Four finale was intense and fun and great. Aneela was fantastic and The Lady saw her love for Delle Seyah as a weakness so tried to use her face to break her. And at first it seemed like it worked; Aneela said she wanted her family back (meaning Delle Seyah and Jaq) but then it looked like maybe she WASN’T really betraying Dutch, but THEN it looked like The Lady knocked her out and switched places with her. All I know for sure is that the last five minutes were fucking BONKERS and it set up next season (aka the last season) to be off to a pretty wild start. Also I don’t remember if I mentioned this but at one point this season, Zeph said, while in bed with Pip, “This is why I don’t date men,” which implies to me that she is bisexual/queer so I’m hoping that maybe Zeph can find a girlfriend to end the series with now that Pip’s gone. We’ll see! If you’re not watching this show, you now have a few months to catch up, and you should. I’ll wait. — Valerie Anne
9-1-1 201 – 202: “Under Pressure” and “7.1”
Lest you believe that the restrained version of Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk that we were treated to on Pose this summer represented a real sea change for these two: FEAR NOT, 9-1-1 is back! Murphy and Falchuk are still concocting outlandish scenarios and writing with all the subtlety of a grenade or cement truck (both of which found their way into season two’s opening episodes). We didn’t get to see nearly enough of Aisha Hinds’ Hen this week, but given that episode 202 ended with an aftershock that sent Hen falling through the ruins of a structurally compromised hotel, I suspect next week will be a heavy episode for our favorite lesbian firefighter/paramedic. — Natalie
Mayans M.C.
This week, Alexandra Barreto, who you might remember as Jesús and Mariana’s biological mom from The Fosters, made her debut as Antonia Pena on Mayans M.C.. Pena is the mayor of Santo Padre, a small town near the California and Mexico border. She shows up at a crime scene where an immigrant’s been shot and killed by vigilantes while attempting to cross the border. At first, everyone suspects it’s the MAGA-crowd playing target practice, but when some oxycodone turns up, Pena suspects the immigrant was killed for the drugs he was muling. She asks the Mayans to investigate. Pena’s established a detente with the MC and the cartel, but if there’s a new drug pusher in town, all bets are off. She had a brief appearance, but the show was surprisingly explicit about defining her sexuality.
“Jesus, am I the only one not getting laid at [the brothel]?” she asks, at one point.
“You’ve already got a hot wife,” Bishop, the head of the MC, snarks back.
That’s all this week from the mayor, but if the mayor’s role on Sons of Anarchy foretells what we’ll see on Mayans M.C., we’re about to see a lot more of Antonia Pena. — Natalie
General Hospital
The last time Kristina’s mother, Alexis, interfered in her daughter’s life, she fled all the way to Oregon to escape the meddling. In the time since, it doesn’t appear that Alexis has learned her lesson because she needles Kristina for her job choice at her first opportunity. Kristina’s exhausted of her mother’s complaints and busies herself while Sam tries to talk Alexis out of interfering. Kristina understands that she’s given her mother cause for concern in the past but nothing she’s done lately — including her relationship with Parker — warrants her mother’s intrusion.
Just after Kristina’s done lamenting the lack of relationships in her life — American soaps are very subtle — she meets Daisy at the pub where she works. Daisy’s passing out flyers for a concert in the park. It’s too early to tell what’ll happen between the two — though, the last time Kristina went to a concert in the park, it was the beginning of her relationship with Parker — but they’re both adorable. As grateful as I am that there’s the prospect of romance on the horizon for Kristina, I do wonder how GH can leave the chemistry between Valerie and Kristina unexplored. — Natalie
The First 5 – 8
I’m super sad to report that nothing much came from LisaGay Hamilton’s Kayla Price in the Season One of The First! Well, she does get to go to space, and is part of the first manned mission to Mars, so that’s something. Still, I wanted so much more from her, you know? Particularly given the immense talent of the actress playing her.
If you recall, the plot for Kayla in the first half of the season was that she was removed from her leadership position on the team to make room for Sean Penn. Well, they eventually learn how to work together. Also, she also gets to have a deeply moving scene with her wife (Heeeey Tracie Thoms!) about her final decision to go to Mars. It’s short, but a real tear jerker, and both women nail it like the acting vets that they are.
If you hate Sean Penn and decide to never watch this show, I wouldn’t blame you one bit. If you can stand looking at his smug face without losing your lunch, and are looking for the kind of sleepy show you can binge from underneath a blanket on a hazy fall afternoon – you know, a cozy tv show where the plot moves slow enough, and the music is comforting enough, that the naps you inevitably take won’t mean you miss anything, then The First will give you that. It also has bonus lesbians who love each other and support each other and no one dies or cheats on the other! So! Yay? I guess. — Carmen
Emmerdale
This week, Charity went to confront her ailing father. Every awful thing that’s happened to her has been rooted in his decision to toss our out onto the streets and she wants to make him own his role in it all. The encounter is wholly unsatisfying; her father rewrites the history of one of Charity’s fondest childhood memories — daily trips to the beach — and replaces it with the horrible truth: they were searching for her mother’s body. Her father couldn’t take the daily reminders of his wife’s suicide so he’d thrown Charity out of the house. Knowing how abusive her father could be, Charity understands why her mother did it and forgives her for it.
Charity arrives back in Emmerdale, determined to make sure her kids don’t look at her the same way she looks at her father, but it’s a struggle. When things don’t come together right away, she takes her frustrations out on Vanessa. But once her kids all arrive and the view of her family starts to take shape, Charity apologizes and thanks Vanessa for sticking by her.
“I love you,” Charity admits for the first time. “I really, really, stupidly and completely love you.”
“Of course you do, because I wouldn’t go and fall in love with someone who didn’t love me back,” Vanessa jokes before assuring her girlfriend. “Charity Dingle, I really, really, stupidly and completely love you too.”
And my poor, poor cynical heart grew three sizes. — Natalie
The Good Place 301: “Everything Is Bonzer”
Get this: Eleanor and Chidi aren’t soul mates anymore in this iteration of The Good Place and Eleanor already asked Tahani to move in with her. MAKE IT GAY YOU COWARDS. — Heather
Boob(s on Your) Tube: “American Horror Story” Returns to Supernatural Form, Provides Many Women in Many Suits
It has been a very exciting week for the Autostraddle TV Team. We announced the winners of our Gay Emmys after tallying the votes of ten thousand readers! So many of the people who won were as hyped as if they’d scored a real Emmy!
OMG I WON A A GAY EMMY! (I won a few!!) thank you guys for voting: @autostraddle is such baby angels for including me in this wonderful group of storytellers. And thank YOU little bbs, for voting for me! https://t.co/Fc0LVdzAdT
— Stephanie Beatriz (@iamstephbeatz) September 13, 2018
HUGE!!! Thank you @autostraddle we at @OneDayAtATime are honored!! https://t.co/jqIkkkJn5B
— ♥ Gloria Calderón Kellett ♥ (@everythingloria) September 13, 2018
— Killing Eve (@KillingEve) September 13, 2018
We didn’t write a Boobs on Your Tube last week because there was no queer TV because we were in that weird lull between seasons, but we have published some stellar TV and movie content these last two weeks. Heather wrote an essay about Jenny Schecter, Don Draper, and the sexist critique of anti-heroes for our Bad Behavior issue. Riese reviewed season two of Harlots (and the co-creator of Harlots loved it). Andrea Long Chu published a poignant, heartbreaking essay about Willow and Tara, specifically about their relationship in “Hush.” Valerie Anne recapped Wynonna Earp 307 and 308. And Heather wrote about Lifetime’s new stalker show, You, in which Shay Mitchell plays lesbian socialite Peach Salinger; crafted a newbie’s gentle guide to Doctor Who; swooned over the series finale of Adventure Time; and reviewed Colette, which she loved.
Fall TV is on its way back! In addition to what we wrote about below, Riese would like you to know that The Purge got even gayer (and features AzMarie doing pull-ups in a sports bra) and The Sinner is also gay (but someone definitely died). And Carmen and Valerie want you to know that Supergirl released a deleted Sanvers break-up scene that you should WATCH AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!
American Horror Story: Apocalypse 801: “The End”
Written by Valerie Anne
The first episode of the new installment of American Horror Story is about as gay as I expected. That is to say, there was a gay male couple, a coded gay male hairdresser, and then a lot of women in suits. But I’m getting ahead of myself. First, I’ll give you a rundown of the premise of this series, called Apocalypse. I’ll admit, I wasn’t sure what they meant by that, but it turns out it starts out more like Cult in that it preys on a terrifyingly possible future: World War III. The US released nuclear missiles so clearly bombs were sent back. LA was the target, but I believe we’re to understand that the entire country, save a few “Outposts” of either very rich or specifically chosen humans, has been obliterated. One of those chosen few is a teenage boy, who is collected by some secret agents, one of which is Lesley Fera aka Mama Hastings IN A SUIT.
Shouldn’t be a surprise since she comes from Rosewood, Lesbian Capital of the World.
Sarah Paulson plays Wilhemina Venable (best name ever??), the smartly dressed, old-fashioned leader of the Outpost who seems to be using it more for her own sadistic pleasure than actually helping keep humanity from blinking out of existence. At Wilhemina’s right hand is Miriam, aka Kathy Bates doing an astounding Lea DeLaria impression.
I was very tired when I watched this and 100% thought it was Lea DeLaria the entire time.
It’s unclear if Wilhemina and Miriam are supposed to be a romantic thing, but they’re definitely in cahoots, and play dress-up together (in purple, the color of the elites in the Outpost). Some funny moments include when they thought the stew they were eating was made of their recently-shot friend and his boyfriend shouted, “The stew is Stu!” and just everything Mary Cherry does. (Sorry, Leslie Grossman, but you’ll always be Mary Cherry to me.)
One thing I already like about this season more than Cult is that by the end there was definitely something supernatural going on. Cult was a caricature of reality and it was uncomfortable to watch, but this year seems to be living up to its promise to going back to the Coven/Murder House glory days.
Coronation Street
Written by Natalie
For as long as audiences have known Sophie Webster — and that’s been a long time — one thing has always been true: her mother, Sally, always thinks she knows what’s best for Sophie. And so, Sally being Sally, when she discovers that her lawyer’s daughter is a lesbian, she tries to play matchmaker. It works, though not in the way Sally intended; instead of making a love connection between the daughters, something sparks between Sophie and Sally’s lawyer, Paula.
Later Paula stops by to see Sophie and the two get to know each other over a few glasses of wine. Paula endears herself with her candor — given how her relationship with Kate played out, it’s unsurprising that Sophie would be drawn to that — and her faith in Sophie and soon enough, they’re making out on Sally’s couch. They split apart just as Sally arrives and she invites her lawyer to stay for dinner. Sophie and Paula flirt slyly through the dinner party and make plans to get together later, while Sally plots to set Paula up with Sophie’s dad, Kevin.
Eventually, Paula agrees to go out with Kevin to disabuse him of his crush and to mollify Sally. She lets him down gently before making plans to rendezvous with his daughter later.
Emmerdale
Written by Natalie
I know I usually stick to covering just one British soap but, after this week’s episodes, I thought it was time I gave everyone a heads up on Vanessa (played by out actress, Michelle Hardwick) and Charity on Emmerdale. The antagonistic pair drunkenly hooked up last year and, eventually, that translated into a real relationship.
Back in April, Charity confessed to Vanessa about the abuse — emotional, sexual and physical abuse — she’d suffered as a teenager at the hands of local policeman, Mark Bails. Charity thought she’d buried memories of what she’d suffered until Bails turns up in town again: the public face of a campaign to aid sex workers. That’s how they’d met when she was 14 — she’d taken to sex work after being kicked out of her home and Bails was the officer that’d arrested her, multiple times — and Charity refuses to let him gain access to more girls. It’s a long and winding road but Bails is tried for his crimes and, eventually, faces his punishment. But justice isn’t the comfort that Charity thought it’d be: Bails’ conviction cements his status as a criminal while also permanently tagging Charity as a victim.
The whole storyline (which you can watch in its entirety on Youtube) has been difficult to watch, particularly this week as Charity testified about the horrors perpetuated against her, but the performances have been brilliant. Emma Atkins (Charity) should collect all the awards for her performance this week…so, so good.
General Hospital
Written by Natalie
Last summer, Kristina drafted her heretofore straight BFF, Valerie, to be her wingwoman at a “Ladies Night” event at the local watering hole. They draw the attention of Kristina’s former professor and paramour, Parker Forsyth, who’d unceremoniously dumped Kristina after bedding her the year prior. Once Valerie gets the backstory, she pulls Kristina into a deep kiss, hoping to make Parker regret her decision. The kiss was supposed to be a prelude to a love triangle but, thanks to some short-sighted showrunners, it never materialized.
I didn’t know what to expect when Valerie and Kristina crossed paths in Port Charles again last week…but as they got reacquainted at the bar where Kristina now works, there was some definite flirting going on. I liked their chemistry last year so I’m interested to see what develops between the pair. Another thing I liked? Kristina rushing back into a gas-filled bar to recover some evidence that’d implicate her grandfather in the sabotage. That seems like a weird thing to celebrate, I know, but I like the idea of Kristina being pulled closer into her father’s illicit world.
Imagine Kristina falling in love with a newly minted detective (Valerie) while also realizing that she’s really, really good at being a criminal? It’d be so great. Fingers crossed that her actions this week were just the first step.
The Young & the Restless
Written by Natalie
Can I be honest? I’m probably not supposed to say this as a TV critic but: I have absolutely no idea what the writers at Y&R are doing with Tessa…though, it’s entirely possible the writers don’t know what they’re doing with Tessa either so at least I’m in good company.
Tessa’s been back in Genoa City for a few weeks and, in addition to reconnecting with her lady love, she’s hoping to make some money to pay back the guys who helped smuggle her fugitive sister across the border to Canada. She takes a job at the coffee house to earn some money and is hustling to get more…but no one else — not Devon, not Sharon and not even Mariah — is convinced of the imminent threat that Tessa claims she’s under. She’s offered them no proof but her word. Tessa assures Mariah that she’d never lie to her — though she has, several times — because she loves her. The use of the L-Word is enough to mollify Mariah who seems to forget all about the fight they’ve been having.
Left to handle the coffee shop on her own, Tessa’s attacked, obstensibly by the guys to whom she owes all this money. This is the second time she’s been accosted by off-screen foes and both times, she was mid-conversation: first with Mariah and now with Sharon. They leave her battered and bruised but she refuses to go to the hospital when Sharon finds her. She also refuses to call the police, fearing that her sister might be in trouble, and erases the coffee house’s security tapes.
This just isn’t very good storytelling. Careening Tessa from one shady situation to the next is not character development; we’re not learning anything new about Tessa and her character’s not being further integrated into the canvas when every threat to her exists off-screen. Tessa telling Mariah she loved her should’ve been a special moment for this new couple but, instead, it just rang hollow. At any rate, there’s so much opportunity to tell a really good story with Tessa, given everything else that’s happening on the canvas, but instead we get Tessa vs. the Invisible Extortionists. Dreadful.