Boobs on Your Tube: The “Doom Patrol” Series Finale Sails Away With Not One, Two Queer Happy Endings

Happy Friday and CONGRATULATIONS TO THE MEMBERS OF SAG-AFTRA ON THE SUCCESSFUL CONCLUSION OF THEIR STRIKE to all who celebrate!! 🎉 Once the terms of the deal are made public, we’re going to have some in-depth reporting on the success for both the actors and the writers. But for now, just sending our love to the people who make the stories that we love! Congratulations, we hope this is start of a lot more fair deals to come.

Yes, it’s already November, but listen here: Kayla cannot stop thinking about the House of Usher’s scariest moment, from a lesser known (and extremely wild!) Edgar Allan Poe story. Nic reviewed Hulu’s new series Black Cake (more on that below in this week’s round up), which is telling a beautifully complex story of family, identity, and secrets. Meanwhile, Drew would like you to know that Apple+’s The Buccaneers, ugh… ruins Edith Wharton and fails history. The Morning Show wrapped its third season in a tornado of chaos, and Christina did not miss a beat. Rap Sh!t returns for its second season, and the girlies may still be struggling to break into the music industry, but Natalie is vibing with it. And season three of Upload on Prime Video gives us a deliciously evil queer character.

Turns out that Chrishell Stause delighted in this Lifetime lesbian thriller about a pregnancy cult (what a sentence!). Speaking of Chrishell, Anya recapped the top 15 gayest moments in the latest season of Selling Sunset for you. Tessa Thompson zoomed in as Valkyrie just under the wire of Captain Marvel’s final trailer before the movie release this weekend (are you planning to go?). And if your movie tastes are a little more niche than Marvel, Drew made you this outstanding quiz that you should take immediately, Which Obscure Lesbian Movie Should You Watch?

Then the senior editors got together to ask What Makes a Sexy Lesbian Screenshot — a little conversation that’s somehow both horny and smart, two of the best things:

It’s a conversation that, ahem, requires a lot of visuals. Click through.

Riese is in the midst of cleaning up and revamping all of our streaming guides, so get in here to learn what’s good and gay: 25 Best LGBT TV Shows on Peacock and Hulu’s 27 Original TV Shows With Lesbian and Bisexual Women Characters.

And here’s what else!

Doom Patrol Episode 412: “Done Patrol”

Written by Valerie Anne

“The curtains close on a kiss, god knows, we can tell the end is near.”

I’m SO sad this was the series finale, but it was a lovely sendoff to our ragtag team of barely capable superheroes.

We open with the Doom Patrol stuck between an Immortus and a zombie butt place. Jane realizes she has the powers of all of her alters, so she fights with Flit’s teleportation, Flaming Katy’s fireballs, Silver Tongue’s knife words.

Things are starting to look dire, until Dr. Wu shows up with her butt boyfriend and they start performing Shipoopi. The Butts can’t resist a musical number, so they sing along and stop attacking. Immortus also can’t resist a musical number, but wants it to be HER musical number, so she leads the butts in her song about Cloverton and the Doom Patrol sneaks out. Their singing sucks the theater into the time stream and Cloverton is safe again.

The team goes home and Larry makes pancakes and they celebrate their victory. Larry points out that they didn’t actually do much, the problems (which they caused) sort of accidentally solved themselves, but they celebrate anyway. Rita is happy they’re all together, Cyborg shows off his metal tattoos, and they all remark on Jane’s new powers. Cyborg asks what they should call her now that she’s merged, and she says the only word she can think of is Kaleidoscope, so Cyborg suggests they call her Kay. Her first name, and her last. (I’ll call her Kay now, too.)

Immortus shows up, but not to fight. She had a thousand-year music career, so she thanks them by returning their longevity. They take it eagerly, but when Rouge runs to give Rita hers, it’s too late, Rita is gone. They want to get her back, but Rita’s ghost appears and says it’s time to let her go. The Doom Patrol is over, and they need to go their separate ways, work on themselves before they try to save others.

They have a funeral, and it’s cute and imperfect and funny; classic them. Everyone goes inside to watch a Rita Farr movie together, while Rita goes into the afterlife to be reunited with the love of her beforelife.

They all fall asleep on the couch, but Kay wakes and catches Cliff sneaking off to Florida. Kay says she’s going to sublet a place and paint, and he calls her boring, since she has all these powers. But she wants to chill and be open to what’s next.

Cliff does go see his daughter, her wife, and his grandson. He sees Rory’s life play out through a crystal Immortus gave him, and then Cliff turns off forever.

The Doom Patrol house gets packed up and everyone starts to move out. Vic starts teaching, Larry finds his boyfriend, Rouge torches the Ant Farm. Kay is looking for her perfect sublet when the Doom Alarm goes off. She stomps off to stop it and runs into Casey, who says she heard the house was empty and came back to get the spaceship, but eventually admits she actually was hoping to find Kay there. Kay smiles and gets an idea. “What do you say, Captain, got room for one more?”

Casey’s face lights up, and Kay’s in return. So off they go into space together. They adopt a kitten, because gay. Happier than she’s been in a long time, Kay kisses Casey, and Casey kisses her back, and it’s beautiful.

I’ll miss the Doom Patrol very much, but I’m so glad we got two queer happy endings in the series finale.

Black Cake Episode 104: “Mrs. Bennett”

Written by Nic

This week’s episode of Black Cake spends most of its time giving us insight into what transpired that fateful Thanksgiving causing Benny to cut out her family for eight years. I wish I could say that this episode helped me to understand Benny’s actions, but instead I was left feeling irritated by her decision-making and frustrated by the lack of nuance applied to complex conversations.

In a series of flashbacks, we see Benny in bed with her girlfriend Joanie, where she admits that she’s afraid to come out to her family because she feels pressure to live up to the image her parents have for their first-generation American daughter. Joanie understandably tells Benny that she isn’t going to pressure her, but she also doesn’t want to go back to hiding who she is.

Cut to that Thanksgiving, and color me shocked when I realized that Benny actually brought Joanie along and the Bennett family was perfectly warm and inviting at first. After cordial conversation at dinner, things take a turn for the awkward when Bert asks his daughter if she has any culinary apprenticeships lined up for after she graduates. Benny reveals that she dropped out of culinary school in favor of working in a cafe to get real-world experience. This enrages Bert, as he’s been the one footing the bill every time Benny decides to pursue a new creative interest. Benny feels attacked and judged and like no one in her family understands her need to express herself through her art. Bert continues to berate Benny, bringing up her failures and her sexuality and how she can’t “just pick one thing and stick with it.” It’s a low blow and all Benny hears is that her father does not accept her. She storms out, Joanie follows her in an attempt to comfort Benny, but Benny blames Joanie for pushing her to come out and breaks up with her on the spot.

We then meet Steve, the man who in the present day is saved in Benny’s phone as “STEVE DO NOT ANSWER.” He takes an interest in her and her art and seemingly appreciates her in a way that she’s been longing for. Turns out, Steve is a textbook abuser, isolating Benny from everyone in her life, attempting to control her appearance, and getting physically violent after she doesn’t introduce him to Joanie in a chance meeting. She eventually forgives him, but when she learns her father died two years after their Thanksgiving fight, Steve assaults Benny when she insists she wants to go to the funeral. He screams that he is her family, not them. It’s awful and heartbreaking to watch, and gives context to Benny’s disappearance from her family.

Benny did go to the funeral, but she stayed in the car so her family wouldn’t see her bruises. In the present, she tells Byron that it’s because she was afraid they would judge her again and she was afraid of another rejection. Byron tells her they would have taken her in, because she’s their family.

This episode lacked a clearer illustration of the fact that multiple things being able to be true. Benny deserved unconditional support and love from her family AND it’s understandable that her parents were upset about her hiding that she dropped out. It’s awful that Bert weaponized Benny’s sexuality in their argument AND with time and conversation, Bert could have come to understand his daughter better. Benny does have so many layers, but unfortunately we’re left with a fairly shallow and irritating characterization that does not do Adrienne Warren’s incredibly emotional performance justice.

Boobs on Your Tube: Gen V Wraps Its First Season, We’ll Always Love a Bisexual Superhero

Happy Friday! Let’s see what’s been happening on our screens! Netflix has a new reality show called Surviving Paradise which is somehow like Crime and Punishment (??) and has a rivalry between its two queer contestants. Dyke Drama on The Morning Show reached an all-time high, which is really saying something. Neon on Netflix came out a few weeks ago, and is full of queer Puerto Rican reggaeton dreams (plus a killer Jordana Brewster plays a lesbian cameo, pun fully intended).

There’s two major movie releases today, and so Caroline Framke sat down with director Maryam Keshavarz to talk about her film The Persian Version, translating the Iranian American Experience On-Screen, and Cyndi Lauper (because why not?). Drew made a list of the greatest queer sports movies of all time to mark the release of NYAD, the true story of lesbian swimmer Diana Nyad, in theaters. We also revisited Drew’s original review of the movie from its film festival circuit debut, with new additional reporting on Nyad’s public changing of her stance on trans inclusion in women’s sports.

We wrapped up October with a big finale to our annual “Horror Is So Gay” celebration! Nico looked at how work and class worked in the already queer classic The Haunting of Bly Manor. Valerie looked back on the Final Destination accidents that completely altered her brain chemistry. The queerest horror movie franchise is now and forever will be Chucky. This is the history of lesbian vampires on film that you absolutely do not want to miss. And finally, Carmen wondered, Can Black People be Zombies? (spoiler the answer is more serious than it first appears).

But the jack-o-laterns have been put away, make up has been washed off, and cobwebs are coming down, because now it is November — and with that, we have your monthly streaming guide. Make sure you click that! You don’t want to miss anything new coming up. And here’s what else!

Notes from the TV Team: 

+ After an inconveniently-timed international break, the NWSL playoffs are set to resume this Sunday. Can lesbian icons, Megan Rapinoe and Ali Krieger, extend their playing days by leading their teams to victory? It’s going to be tough: first up, Krieger’s Gotham FC heads to the City of Roses to take on perennial NWSL powerhouse, the Portland Thorns. Then, Rapinoe’s OL Reign takes heads to San Diego to take on the Shield winning Wave. LFG! — Natalie

Gen V Episode 108: “Guardians of Godolkin”

Written by Valerie Anne

We love a bisexual superhero!!!

We open in the aftermath of Sheddy’s death, and Cate is overwhelmed by the inner “what the fuck” thoughts of her peers. She insists she did this to save them, and Sam agrees. Together, they decide to release all the kids being held in the Woods, but Marie wants to find a way to thwart their plans.

Because the school year has been a mess, Vought decides God U needs some good press; they decide to rocket a student directly into The Seven.

Cate and Sam go down into the Woods, and kill one security guard, and get a second to unlock the cells. They lead everyone outside, and Cate tells them they are quite literally superior to humans and it’s time they show the world.

As soon as the prisoners are out, they start wreaking havoc. One kills the first human he finds. Cate mesmers people into not stopping them, and even pushes someone to blow up his own head on a livestream. Chaos.

Emma runs off to find Sam, but he’s lost to her now, and tells her she’s not a hero, she just will do anything for everyone to like her. She cries as he storms off, and realizes she’s suddenly quite tiny. Turns out she has more than one way to use her powers.

Cate and Sam continue their rampage, and Marie finds a button that locks down the school. The Vought CEO pulls a hail mary and has her board members call the top students and offer them an instant spot in The Seven if they kill the escapees. Ashley calls Marie herself, and sweetens the deal by saying she’ll get her a meeting with her sister.

Cate has a supe take down the helicopter the board was going to use to escape, but Andre helps land it relatively safely. Jordan gets the board into the helicopter for safety, Andre tases Sam, Marie saves Jordan from being attacked with a barrage of blood knives, but then Marie sees Cate reaching out to touch Jordan and the adrenaline gets the best of her and she blows up Cate’s arm to stop her from touching Jordan and making them do something against their will.

Cate is screaming and Sam is tased and it seems like maybe the battle’s done and they kind of won…until Homelander shows up. He scolds Marie for attacking fellow supes, and she is confused because that’s a gross misrepresentation of the situation. Before she can defend herself, he eye-beams her.

In the aftermath, Marie, Emma, Jordan, and one of the Woods kids are accused of the massacre, and Cate and Sam are touted as heroes. Marie wakes up in a hospital room with Jordan, Emma, and Andre, and realizes there are no doors on this room they are in. And she has no idea where they are.

Before the episode ends, we see the now abandoned Woods, and THE Billy Butcher wandering its halls.

I’m glad Gen V got picked up for a second season, because I loved this friendship-based version of the asshole superhero show, and I look forward to seeing these teens again.

Doom Patrol Episode 411: “Portal Patrol”

Written by Valerie Anne

I mean someone named Kaleidoscope HAS to still be queer, right?

Sadly Casey is still missing from this episode, even though we’re running out of time for my ship to properly set sail, but anything can happen in next week’s finale.

This week, the Doom Patrol is stuck in the timestream, and still in desperate need for their longevity. And on top of it all, Jane is still hearing voices begging her to “say it.”

Between Keeg and Vic’s tech, they find spots in the timeline to try to get their longevity back. Jane and Larry go to the late 90s/early 2000s manor, Rouge ends up at the Ant Farm, and Cliff long before the Doom Patrol was ever started, and they all realize they have to try to get the longevity from various versions of Chief.

Jane ends up just talking to Chief though, and tells him about how she can’t find her alters anymore. All she hears from them is “Say it” over and over. She has a puzzle she has to solve, and she never thought it was possible, but she really does love her friends in the Doom Patrol. Jane says she wants peace, and she wants to do more than Kay made her for. Chief says that maybe Kay is the one who needs peace, since she’s the one who went through the trauma. But no, Jane realizes all at once that she knows what she needs to say. Kay wasn’t the only one who went through that trauma. They all did. They were created because of it, they all bear the memory of it. She says her trauma out loud, plainly, and suddenly the puzzle is on the table before her, almost completed, save for one piece.

Jane puts the last piece in and a picture appears, an image of swirling colors, and suddenly she’s in the underground, and her alters are back, and they’re smiling. They lead her onto the train, and as it pulls out of the station, The Underground begins to crumble. Kay reassures her, says they don’t need it anymore. “We’re all together now.” Kay wants to show her what she’s been building, and the train pulls into a whole world made of those swirling colors from the puzzle.

When everyone gets yeeted back to the pod, Jane says they don’t need longevity, they need each other, because together, as one, they can do anything. Cliff is wondering who this persona is because it sure as hell isn’t the Jane that cursed him out a few hours ago, but Jane says that she is all of them now. She is the Kaleidoscope. Though she’s still working out exactly what that means.

Renewed with a new sense of verve, they head back to the present to kick some (zombie) butt.

All Rise 317: “I Will Not Go Quietly”

Written by Natalie

If “bless your heart” were a photo…

Remember last week when Ness lamented not having a substantive case — something that mattered — to dig her teeth into? Well, this week, she gets her wish: Mia Avilla, a young aspiring nurse, is in jail after a routine traffic stop revealed that she had an outstanding warrant in her home state of Texas. Her offense? Medical identity theft.

The story behind the charge is one that’s only possible in Texas, post-Dobbs: Mia stole someone else’s identity to avoid a potential civil suit for her abortion. But somehow, the police get wind of Mia’s actions and raid her doctor’s office soon, as she’s recovering from the procedure. Mia’s doctor is arrested (on felony charges) and she’s forced to abscond to California to avoid arrest.

In court, Ness asks that the warrant be quashed but before Judge Carmichael can render her verdict, in walks the Mesa County, Texas district attorney, seeking Mia’s extradition. Ness sees the Texas DA’s pursuit for what it is: an attempt to punish a woman for having an abortion, even though state law precludes that. With Judge Carmichael’s assist, Ness is able to stall the proceedings by requiring that the Texas DA provide more than an ID card to prove Mia’s identity. While they await a copy of Mia’s birth certificate, Ness and Amy try to reason with the Texas DA, urging her to reconsider her actions. But the DA is a true believer and refuses to budge. Ness chides her for her hypocrisy — for claiming to be pro-life while clinging to guns and doing nothing about school shootings — but the DA remains resolute.

Since the DA is determined to weaponize Texas law against her client, Ness uses California law to outmaneuver the DA. She and Amy shift their strategy from attempting to quash the warrant to simply getting Mia released on bail. The DA protests, noting that Mia has already fled prosecution once before and no bail bondsman would support such a flight risk. Ness and Amy agree and note that the end of cash bail in Los Angeles County means that Mia can be released, as long as she’s not a threat to others. Judge Carmichael agrees and releases Mia on her own recognizance. But the ending isn’t a completely happy one: even though Mia’s free, she can’t go back home to Texas… if she does, that warrant will still be waiting for her.

After court, everyone gathers at a local Mexican restaurant to lament the day’s proceedings. Lola’s dismayed that her daughter will grow up in a world with fewer rights than she had. Ness insists that she won’t go back to the 1950s. Amy and Rachel take the whole scene in and, with Ness’ support, decide to call off their planned merger and keep Audobon, Quinn & Associates an independent female-led boutique law firm.

Boobs on Your Tube: “Gen V” Takes Explosive Quite Literally in This Season’s Penultimate Episode

If you’re reading this that means you made to the end of the week and you know what? Good for you!

This week Drew interviewed Our Lady J (it’s so good!) about her work writing on Transparent, Pose, and now returning back to love performance. The Morning Show went full gay spy mode and you Christina was right on top of it. Drew donned the persona of your film bro girlfriend to catch you up on Martin Scorsese’s canon ahead of his newest release Killers of the Flower Moon and also she promises that “it really demands the big screen and your undivided attention!”

It’s Hall-o-weekend and that means we’re DEEP on our Horror Movie shit! We two separate pieces dedicated solely to Nightmare on Elm Street — Stef mediated on A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors and the horror of generational trauma, while Riese dove into how Nightmare On Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge ruined its gay lead’s life. By the way, we’ve also been wondering, Where Are All the Scream Kings? And Nico wrapped us up with What Three Horror Movies Capture Your Evil Essence, According to Your Sign — just in time for your weekend binge watching needs.

Have fun out there this weekend!🎃 And here’s what else you missed.

Notes from the TV Team: 

+ Our Flag Means Death aired its finale this week, and while the crux of the episode centered on Stede and Blackbeard reuniting (again) and the uptight British navy, we were also treated to another Jim/Archie smooch! I’ve been a big fan of this whole season, loved the, albeit brief, additions of Mary Read and Anne Bonny, and was pleasantly surprised by how much deeper I fell in love with the ensemble cast. And even though Olu and Zheng are an ADORABLE pairing, my kingdom for Zheng to kiss a woman next season. I am who I am. — Nic

Gen V Episode 107: “Sick”

Written by Valerie Anne

I didn’t know this was the penultimate episode of the season when I started it, but I sure figured it out by the end.

We open at the Woods, where the scientist and Shetty are watching teens locked in a room with an infected supe. She wants to make the virus airborne, which makes the scientist uncomfortable but makes Shetty’s eyes sparkle.

Shetty gets a call from Cate, and Shetty tells Cate to go to her house and wait for her. Cate hangs up, wincing from the thoughts of everyone in the diner where she’s meeting her friends. Her friends who are still mad, including Jordan, who shifts into their masc form, yells at Cate, and storms off.

Marie follows Jordan, and tells them that even if they can’t fully trust Cate, they have to trust that she’s on their side. She also says Jordan has to stop shifting into masc form whenever they want to prove their point. They kiss and Jordan decides they should snoop in Shetty’s office. Marie wonders who would believe them over Vought… unless they take it to someone like Victoria Neuman. So they do and find a file about a plane crash that killed Shetty’s family. Then the scientist stumbles into Shetty’s office and conveniently mumbles Shetty’s evil plan.

Victoria Neuman speaks at the town hall, and it does… not go well. The students riot, yelling about not wanting to be controlled. One guy in a red “keep America safe” hat is on Team Homelander, which is a decidedly incorrect stance.

Marie catches Victoria as she’s being escorted to safety, and Victoria knows who Marie is and is excited to talk to her one on one. Victoria tells Marie to use her powers to assess her, and Marie realizes Victoria is a supe. Victoria has the same blood powers as Marie, and is her benefactor. Marie tells Victoria about the Woods and the virus and Victoria says she’ll handle it, that Marie should focus on becoming the first Black woman in The Seven, so she can make real change.

When Shetty gets home to talk to Cate, Cate accuses her of manipulating her, and Shetty swears she loves her and wants to keep her safe, even in the face of the truth of the virus. She takes Cate’s ungloved hands as a sign of trust, and Cate lays her head in Shetty’s lap. When Shetty gets home to talk to Cate, Cate accuses her of manipulating her, and Shetty swears she loves her and wants to keep her safe, even in the face of the truth of the virus. She takes Cate’s ungloved hands as a sign of trust, and Cate lays her head in Shetty’s lap.

Marie and her friends get a text from Cate to come to Shetty’s, and when they get there, Cate’s eyes are red from using her powers, and she makes Shetty she tell them everything, and Shetty admits that the school is a front to study supes, and that she wants to kill them all because Homelander took down the plane that killed her family.

Once she’s done confessing, Cate makes Shetty slit her own throat, then mesmers Marie into not helping, so the teens can do nothing but watch Shetty die. Cate swears this is the only way.

Victoria meets with the scientist and gets the last of the supe virus. After she confirms he’s the only one who can replicate it, she gives him the Neuman’s Own… and explodes his head.

All Rise 316: “Passionfruit”

Written by Natalie

Finally, the day Ness has waited for has finally arrived: she’s trying her first case as a lawyer. Granted, when she imagined this moment, she thought she’d be fighting the good fight — doing something substantive, fighting for real justice — but Amy and Dre remind her that everyone’s got to start somewhere. For Ness, that somewhere is with the absolute worst client ever.

Camilla Kahlo is a yoga instructor/actor/influencer and embodies all the worst stereotypes about all those professions. She arrives at Audubon, Quinn, and Associates with her boyfriend, Emmanuel, in tow, recording her every move. Amy tries to stop the recording — rightfully concerned about privileged communications being documented — but the couple insists. Emmanuel wants the footage for publicity and a possible documentary and Camilla just wants to reassure her followers that she cares about them more than the money.

“Okay, well, someone died because you violated a court order and continued to sell contaminated products to the public,” Amy reminds their client.

“Allegedly,” Emmanuel adds, as he zooms around the room, recording with his iPhone.

At this point, if this were a real law office, Dre would’ve taken Emmanuel’s phone and smashed it with the back of his loafer, but because this is television, they allow Camilla and Emmanuel to persist. Carmilla insists that she never even used the products she was hawking; it was all just business and, as such, she shouldn’t be held responsible for anyone’s death. When they get to court, Ness offers that as a defense, asserting that the blame falls on the maker of the poisonous goods, not Carmilla. But Judge Carmichael points to the court order Carmilla violated and dispenses with the motion… and they’re going to trial.

This is the first time we’ve seen Ness back in the Halls of Justice since her stabbing and, oddly, All Rise doesn’t grapple with any lingering trauma. Whatever nervousness Ness experiences is chalked up to first day jitters. It feels like such a missed opportunity to give the character more depth and build her relationship with Luke, another recovering victim of the courthouse insurrection.

Ultimately, Carmilla is doomed by her own missteps — she’s found guilty of distributing poisoned foods and medicine — but she avoids a murder conviction. It feels like a pyrrhic victory for Ness who nurses a drink later at an impromptu HOJ cocktail party. But her mentor, Judge Carmichael, reminds her that it’s important to celebrate what she accomplished: she planted her flag as an attorney. She assures Ness that her indefatigable fighting spirit is going to make her an excellent attorney.

Doom Patrol Episode 410: “Tomb Patrol”

Written by Valerie Anne

I hope the thing Jane has to say is that she loves her friends and also Casey.

This week at Doom Manor, Rouge answers the door to find Isabelle Feathers, but she’s not there to Immortus them all to death, she’s there to invite them to her one-woman show.

But the thing is, the Doom Patrol is in a sad state. They’re all dying without their longevity, and they’re kind of pathetically accepting their fate. Larry and Mr. 104 are planning how to go out on their own terms, Rita blobs up just to ease her arthritis pain. They’re a mess.

Upstairs, Jane is trying to do her puzzle, and starts thinking about Casey and their duet. As she thinks about her, suddenly she realizes she found pieces of her puzzle that fit together. For the first time, she starts to be able to actually make some connections and start her puzzle in earnest. But then she gets flashes of Kay and her dad and the pieces stop fitting, and she finds herself in the Underground, where it looks like the other alters got raptured. She gets more flashes of Kay and her dad but also of Casey and everything is a whirl until Cliff snaps her out of it and she realizes the parts of the puzzle she had put together have come undone.

Cliff and Jane decide to go on a road trip to Florida to see Cliff’s family, but on the way Cliff’s leg freezes and they almost crash, and then when Jane is driving, she gets more flashes of Kay and her dad and hears voices whispering, “Say it,” over and over. When they almost crash again, they decide to pack it and go home.

At the manor, Rouge calls a team meeting and says the key to getting their longevity back is in a growth on Isabelle’s neck. When no one seems interested in helping her, she decides to go to Isabelle’s show on her own.

While this is happening, Lane from Gilmore Girls Dr. Margaret Yu comes home to her boyfriend butt, Nicolas, and reads him a letter from his brother Teddy. He wants to take over the world, starting with Margaret…who Teddy turned into a WereButt.

After a failed attempt at family dinner, everyone joins Rita for a nightcap, and they reminisce about the adventures they’ve had. And as they do, upstairs, Jane’s puzzle pieces start fitting themselves back together. Suddenly they realize Rouge must have gone to Isabelle’s show, so Rita tries to rouse them for one last mission. No one seems game, so Rita is going to go on her own, until she collapses. This gives the team the motivation to do this mission for her; they’re not ready to say goodbye after all.

When they get to the theater, they see an army of WereButts, and Cliff is worried nothing has changed from the apocalyptic future they saw, but then that theory is debunked when Vic returns, more Cyborg than ever.

They run inside the theater… and Isabelle sucks them all into a portal.

Boobs on Your Tube: “Our Flag Means Death” Is Once Again the Queerest Celebration on the High Seas

It’s another Friday and once again you’ve made it!

We spent the week deep in the Flana-verse in celebration of Mike Flanagan’s latest and final Netflix horror series The Fall of the House of Usher. Kayla wrote you a quiz, Which Queer Character From the Flana-verse Are You? And then we had your daily – yes, daily! — recaps of every episode of the series, brought to you by Kayla and Valerie as an incomparable spooky tag-team. Valerie also would like to know if knew that the superheroes on Doom Patrol are queer as hell?! Christina is here with your weekly recap of The Morning Show’s Mommy Issues.

BIG NEWS around the Autostraddle TV way is Kristen Stewart’s gay ghost hunter show
Living for the Dead, which has hot paranormal investigators and Big Gay Feelings. We’re also still celebrating Horror Is So Gay 2 (we love a sequel), with Kayla and Drew’s 30 Scariest Queer Horror Movie Moments and Drew’s retrospective on Jennifer Reeder’s Girlhoods of Stuff. The trailer for Chrishell Stause’s Lifetime lesbian pregnancy thriller is here.

We had a WELCOME return to the Autostraddle TV Roundtable, and this conversation was a doozy — Were We Ever So Young? Couples We Used To Ship and Were Extremely Wrong About.

And here’s what else you may have missed!

Our Flag Means Death Episode 206: “Calypso’s Birthday” and Episode 207: “Man on Fire”

Written by Nic

When we last left the crew of the Revenge, they had just forgiven Blackbeard and welcomed him back onto the ship, now a certified “safe space” for all of their big big pirate Feelings. Now that Blackbeard is turning over a new raid-less leaf, the crew has been a bit, well, bored. As Archie tells a rousing tale of one birthday where she allegedly fought her way out of a snake, the crew realizes they haven’t had a proper romp in ages, so they make up a holiday, Calypso’s birthday, as an excuse to get dressed up and celebrate. They dock somewhere to pick up party supplies and booze, and there’s a Pride flag waving in the background, so you know this is about to be the queerest celebration on the high seas.

One of my favorite things about these latest two episodes has been getting to see Archie’s personality and just how much Jim loves it. She is excitable and joyful and goes all the way in on everything she does while Jim watches in adoration. The two turn all the way up during the party, they laugh, they dance, at least until the whole crew is attacked by the pirate Ned Low, whose raid record Blackbeard broke a few episodes back. The attack doesn’t last long though, because the other crew completely turns on their captain once they see how happy the crew of the Revenge is; it’s possible to have an amicable relationship with one’s captain, turns out. Stede ends up killing Ned Low by making him walk the plank; his first actual pirate kill.

The crew docks at the Republic of Pirates, shocked to find out that instead of being shunned thanks to how they left things with Spanish Jackie, they are lauded as heroes thanks to Stede killing Ned Low. While Stede reckons with his newfound fame, and Ed with his newfound soft life, our favorite queers take it upon themselves to play matchmaker. That’s right, my girl Zheng is back and Jim and Archie are determined to get her and Olu back together! It’s just so wholesome and sweet and I want every single good thing in the world for Olu.

After Olu and Zheng talk, he decides he’s going to join her on her ship, and Jim and Archie want to know if there’s room for them too! They’d even share a bunk if necessary since you know, that’s what they’re already doing. Stede is none too happy to hear that his crew wants to leave so he duels with Zheng about it. Before a winner can be declared though, coordinated bombs go off in every ship in Zheng’s fleet, leaving her shell-shocked as a cannonball flies directly toward her.

Gen V Episode 106: “Jumanji”

Written by Valerie Anne

I wish I understood why this episode was called Jumanji. Is it a reference to the Woods? No one played a single game.

To try to right her wrongs, Cate uses her powers to make her friends remember everything she made them forget, but this strain is too much on her brain and she ends up sucking Marie, Andre, and Jordan into her memoryscape.

The first memory they see is a few days after Cate’s powers manifested, when she told her six year old brother to go away and never come back. Her mother is freaking out, and doesn’t want to be near her own daughter, and locks her in her bedroom with gloves, Elsa-style, for nine years.

The dean comes in and offers her help learning how to control her power. She gives her pills to help her voices go away, and gives her the first hug she’s had in almost a decade. It’s no wonder she did whatever the dean asked of her.

They jump again to Cate meeting Luke, but that memory shifts when Luke addresses Andre directly, and says he knows he and Cate cheated. Jordan is pissed, but then they’re all yoinked into Jordan’s memory, and they watch Jordan help knock Luke out for Brink, and Brink rewarding them by making them his TA. Femme Jordan from the memory confronts the visiting Masc Jordan and says they could have done something to help Luke.

Suddenly they find themselves at the Woods, and see Luke and Sam hooked up to each other, Cate making Luke forget and telling him his brother is dead, for what seems like not the first time. Cate had tried to ask to stop, but they won’t let her.

Then they end up in Marie’s memory, the bloody bathroom where her parents died. The memory of her sister tells her she’ll never forgive her, and Marie realizes this is Cate talking, so she calls up to Cate, says they’re all victims of these adults who have been puppeteering their lives since they first were given Compound V.

They get Cate to wake up, and even though they don’t know if they can trust her, Marie, at least, wants to let Cate try to earn that trust back. They decide the real problem is Dean Shetty, and that she might be the answer to their problems.

And they’re not wrong. Because while all this was happening, Shetty was making her scientist make a deadly, contagious virus that only attacks people with Compound V in their system. She wants to wipe out the supes.

Doom Patrol Episode 409: “Immortimas Patrol”

Written by Valerie Anne

Once more, with feeling!

I wish y’all could have seen the look of pure delight when I realized this week’s episode is a MUSICAL EPISODE. Happy Immortimas to me!!!!

You see, when Isabel Feathers/Immortus had her temper tantrum, she yeeted the Doom Patrol into an alternate reality where every day is Immortimas Day, a day dedicated to worshipping Immortus. It reminds me of the Buffy episode where Jonathan made a reality where he was the titular “Superstar.”

Dorothy and the sex ghosts kick off our opening number, singing about loving Immortimas Day. Casey sneaks into Jane’s bedroom window so she can be the first to wish her Happy Immortimas Day, and they join the big group sing. Cliff and Larry look like their old selves, not their robot and mummy selves, and Vic is there, too; they’re all singing lines like, “Nothing is weird, everything’s fine, we’re all okay on Immortimas Day.”

Jane and Casey end up singing a lovely little duet. Casey sings about having butterflies, hoping Jane feels the same way. Jane is also singing about feeling conflicted, wondering if Casey is the key. They talk about being flung from the timestream, and their hands touch briefly, making Casey panic and awkwardly excuse herself.

Later, Casey finds Jane painting, and asks if they’re okay. Jane doesn’t answer, so Casey asks about her painting. She’s painting the Underground, but doesn’t remember what it is or why it’s important. Casey likes it all the same.

Rouge calls a team meeting to explain that she regained her memory and became self-aware that she’s involuntarily singing, one of my favorite musical tropes. She shows them clips of their interviews and one by one they remember the truth, too. Still, not all of them want to leave this candy-coated dreamscape. Everything here is… easier.

Jane finds Casey and says that now that she has her memories back, she’s feeling a bit all over the place; she thinks Casey is great, but her body is not only hers, she has her alters to think about. Casey fakes a smile and says she understands, but Jane can tell she’s hurt and she feels bad about it.

When Immortus arrives for dinner, they plan on playing it cool but Rouge goes rogue and tells Isabel they want to go home. And it’s true of more people in the group now; Dorothy doesn’t want to hide anymore, Casey isn’t finding the adventure she thought she would.

Mr. 104 gives a speech about wanting to go back, and when he wonders how he can trust his own feelings when different people have been writing his backstory, the camera cuts to Casey, still learning how to live off the comic book pages. When he wonders how he can trust his feelings when he’s not even sure who he is, the camera cuts to Jane, who has been struggling with what it means to be an alter.

Isabel hates that everyone has stopped worshipping her, so she puppets them into one last musical number about how they’re all doomed, and then shunts them back to their real timeline, their real (aging) bodies.

Did You Know the Superheroes On “Doom Patrol” Are Queer as Hell?!

There are two things I love in a story about metahumans/inhumans/otherwise-powered individuals: when the characters are allowed to be messy and make mistakes, and when they are queer as hell. Max’s Doom Patrol lets its characters be both, and I can’t believe it’s taken me until the second half of its final season to find it.

In my defense, too often in TV, if a show is gay, it’s either for the boys or the girls, which is both reductive and not how the world works. But still, it has been a pattern that if a show has a gay man in its main cast, the odds of a queer woman or nonbinary person in the main cast is low, and vice versa. So when I heard Matt Bomer was a gay mummy in Doom Patrol, I figured this wasn’t the show for me. I was wrong!

Not only is Doom Patrol a delightful shit show from the jump, but eventually we learn that Diane Guerrero‘s character Jane is also queer.

If you’ve been missing out on this show, let me give you a quick rundown of the plot. A group of unlikely heroes and absolute screw-ups band together to solve various mysteries, and attempt to be something almost like heroes. There is Jane, who has 64 personalities, all of whom have their own unique powers. Rita, aka Elasti-Woman, an ex-movie star who turns into a blob when she loses control of her emotions. Cliff, a former race car driver who is a brain in a robot suit. Larry Trainer, a military pilot who has a space creature made of energy; together they’re called Negative Man. And Vic Stone aka Cyborg who was a proper junior member of the Justice League before he fell in with this crowd.

The show reminds me a lot of the Harley Quinn animated series in that it’s funny and irreverent and wacky while also having a lot of heart — plus it features all kinds of deep cuts from the DC comic book universe.

And I cannot express to you that when I say wacky as hell, I mean it. I’m talking giant clowns, a clock-headed man, and zombie butts. Yes, you read that correctly. ZOMBIE BUTTS.

One of my favorite “this is very hard to explain out of context” recurring things on Doom Patrol is Danny, a sentient, teleporting, genderqueer street. They are literally a street, and talk to people visiting them via signs and banners, and they are a safe space for marginalized people. The residents of Danny the Street are called Danizens and one such resident is a drag queen named Maura Lee Karupt. Everyone uses they/them pronouns for Danny the Street, and Danny does their best to protect the Danizens, while Maura Lee Karupt welcomes newcomers with open arms and very high heels. This street is so wonderful that Larry, who loves to torture himself about being gay even though none of his peers care, and who I will remind you is Matt Bomer, imagines a song-and-dance sequence to “People Like Us” by Kelly Clarkson.

Eventually Danny the Street becomes an ambulance, but that is neither here nor there; no matter what sentient inanimate object Danny is, they remain one of my favorite characters whenever they show up.

I will never get over what a perfect drag name Maura Lee Karupt is.

Another bit of queerness that surprised me: Cliff’s daughter, Clara, who he thought was dead until she was grown, gets married to and has a baby with another woman, Mel. Cliff rekindles his relationship with Clara, and is very supportive of her and Mel. He tries to be there for them and the baby, having to fight against his natural instincts to fuck everything up along the way.

And then there’s Jane. Jane is not the original name of the body she is hosted in, but she is the main protector of “the child” (Kay) whose father’s sexual assault is what created her multiple personalities in the first place. A science experiment gone wrong gave all those personalities powers, except Jane, including Hammerhead who is extra angry and extra strong, Lucy Fugue who has powers of electricity, Flit who can teleport anywhere, Silver Tongue who can literally weaponize words, and Baby Doll, a childlike alter who has telekinetic abilities.

These personalities all live in the Underground, where they are all played by different actors, but in the “real world,” all of these personalities are portrayed by Diane Guerrero and it is unreal to watch. She is beyond talented, and even before they started using special effects to better differentiate between personalities, it was easy to tell who she was portraying at any given moment. In fact, even when Miranda, an alter very similar to Jane in demeanor, was fronting — and even Jane’s friends had a hard time being able to tell — the subtle differences were there in the way Diane Gurerro held herself. (What I mean by special effects is, in the first season, when Baby Doll would front she would, for example, put her hair in pigtails while she was out, but eventually they had it so when someone else took over for Jane, her body would change too, instant pigtails for Baby Doll, a tattoo for Hammerhead, etc. I told you this show was wacky!)

In Season Three, we meet a character called Shelley Byron, also known as The Fog. She is played by Wynn Everett, who I personally fell in love with during Agent Carter when she was Whitney Frost, but you might also know her from Teenage Bounty Hunters. Shelley and Jane are flirting the first time they meet, and this throws Jane off. She’s spent her entire existence making sure Kay was happy and safe and hadn’t considered living a life for herself. At one point Shelley, as The Fog, even envelops her and they have a very DC sexual experience. Jane says she liked it and that no one has ever been that gentle with her. She feels a little guilty, but Kay reassures her that it’s okay. (Also this Fog came through a puzzle piece from a puzzle Jane has been trying to figure out for many episodes now.)

Jane tries, she does, but even after another very flirty meetup in a candy shop within The Fog, Jane can’t quite bring herself to kiss Shelley. On one hand, she’s ready, on the other, she’s not sure she deserves to be loved. Cliff points out that part is not on her — if someone loves her, it doesn’t matter if she thinks she deserves it or not. It doesn’t make it any less true.

I wish I had half as much game as this Fog does.

And that leads us to the final batch of episodes that started dropping last week, Season 4b. The Doom Patrol is on a quest to get their longevity back and stop an apocalyptic-level event in the process. New to this season is a character named Casey, who is a comic book character come to life. (Not in the way the rest of them are also comic book characters come to life… this is an in-universe comic book character come to life… very meta.) Casey, played by Madeline Zima, tries to make herself useful around Doom Manor, and tidies Jane’s room a bit. This includes sorting Jane’s puzzle pieces by color. Previously, this puzzle was a pile of colorless pieces that all looked the same to Jane; no edge pieces, no corner pieces, no way to figure out how to put it together. The only one she ever found that was different was the one Shelley seemed to be peering through. So the fact that Casey can see the colors of Jane’s puzzle feels… significant. Not to mention, at one point when Jane got stuck in the Underground, she turned around and saw Casey there too.

I have no idea if there’s a gay reason for this or a different reason entirely, but it is intriguing.

As much as I love Shelley the Fog, I do also support this pairing, should it go this direction. Or, at the very least, they should be friends. Jane deserves people as capital g Good as Casey in her life.

I really like the juxtaposition between everyone’s queerness on this show. Larry struggles with it because of the time period he was living in pre-space accident. He chose to stay in the closet and marry a woman instead of being with his military boyfriend and he holds a lot of regret about it. But he also regrets never going back to his family after his accident, assuming they wouldn’t accept him. Meanwhile, Danny is a genderqueer street where every month is Pride month. And then there’s Jane, who is struggling with her attraction to Shelley, not because Shelley is a woman (it’s also not because she’s a Fog) but because Jane, Kay, and their family of alters have been through a lot of trauma. They’re having a hard time moving past it in a way that will allow Jane to be open to a real, meaningful relationship with someone else. It’s a beautiful spectrum of queerness displayed across this strange, wonderful land; amidst time travel and sex ghosts and horsehead oracles and did I mention the zombie butts?

I regret being so late to Doom Patrol, but I’m glad I’m here now. I can’t wait to see what gay direction it goes in for this last batch of episodes.