Dinah Liveblog Day III: Fear and Self-Loathing in Palm Springs

Hellooooo friends, and welcome to Dinah Shore 2011! Your intrepid Autostraddle editors will be scampering about Palm Springs like the cute little Chuck-Taylor-wearing sunburnt drunk internet kittens we are, and we have left an equally intrepid and adorable team of interns to communicate all of our adventures to you in the meantime. We’ll be hitting all the events, shows and parties of Girl Bar’s Dinah Shore Weekend 2011, and we want you to be there with us in spirit! Here’s a map of Dinah AutoHQ, courtesy of Design Director Alex Vega:

 

And check out our schedule of all the Dinah action happening this weekend! We’ll be at Girl Bar events Thursday through Sunday, and you might think you’re ready but you’re not ready. But we’re doing this anyway! Here we go!

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Saturday April 2, 2011

11:34 am: Everyone is awake with coffee and toast. This is surprising, because here is what the Girl Bar cocktail party yesterday looked like:And here is what Rachel wrote around midnight: At the girl bar cocktail party,  which is sponsored by ketel one THANK GOD

Alex, via email: My best purchase yet here in Palm Springs. Look, it is an awesome mug!I am not sure if it’s a tiny mug or if Alex just has big hands, speculate in the comments, please.

12:00 pm: Rachel via email: Someday every day will start like this, we will all wake up together and then a man with a weird haircut will bring us breakfast in bed while we write the website

12:09 pm: Laneia via twitter:+

12:55 pm:

Rachel via email:

Vega has gone off somewhere to pursue a career in being tanner and prettier than anyone else, and the rest of us are working on recovering from an exciting and exhausting series of adventures last night. This is what the bathroom looks like after four gay girls and two days.

 

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1:07 pm:

Rachel via email: Team meeting!

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1:32 PM:

Hello Autostraddle, this is Riese! I will be live-blogging for you for the next several hours for reasons which I will disclose after I take a shower. BRB

2:42 PM:

Hi! This is Riese again! I’m such a bad liveblogger! Julie & Brandy & Haviland & Jess R just came by. Hang on I have photos one sec!

2:43 PM:

Wow, we’ve got some serious Ansel Adams shit going on here. It’s almost like you’re RIGHT THERE in the middle of the ACTION.

As you can see from the picture, that girl is wearing some kind of Pocahantas-Meets-PacSun situation, or maybe is a mermaid of some kind. Also, Tracy is pulling off white pants and Stamie has a significant rack.

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Here we have some girl probably named Britney, obviously her trip has been sponsored by Mandees. Or is that the same girl? Whatever. I want a butch fashion show.

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Look, a pool!

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Rachel is fighting the patriarchy — never stop fighting ladies, the war isn’t over! TAKE BACK THE NIGHT AND ALSO THE DAY!

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Anyhoo, Rachel has instead shared this photo. Are you familiar with flagging? Apparently it’s a complicated coding system where you put a bananda in your ass to let people know what kind of situation you want in your vagina. Like if you’re single but looking, or if you’re poly, or if you want to do it up the butt, or if you want to do it in a tree, or you want to do it with bois and boys also. I don’t know what Brown means. Maybe it’s related to Scooby Doo:

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Hi. Back to the bikini contest. I don’t know who won, but these girls are all wearing these headbands around the tops of their headpieces and I feel like it’s some kind of Alien thing. What do they win? A wet t-shirt?

CHECK OUT PAR-LEZ HILTON UP IN HERE:

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Alex says: “This is weird but also attractive but also, this is Dinah Shore.”

The real contest here is who’s the better cameraphone photographer — Rachel, Alex, or Sarah?

Stamie: Are you having fun?
Model: Yeah this is awesome!
Stamie: Why are you so committed to this profession?
Model: Cause modelling is amazing! And bikini week is awesome.
Stamie: Awesome.

Alex says that this is the Bikini Week Mascot:

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3:00 pm: Alex via email: “The Truck Stop Girls (“Girlz” but I refuse to spell it that way) came by and did a dance for us”:

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4:06 PM

Rachel: “We just met an older Jewish dyke wearing a yarmulke and a rainbow button down in the elevator, I want her to adopt me.”

Also I’ve been sent this photograph of Alex, it’s called “Alex Vega is a Boy Scout”:

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4:15 PM

What Happened Last Night

by Riese

Hello Autostraddle, this is me, Riese. Let me start out by telling you two things that are important to my overall sense of self-worth:

1. I handle and am in control of my shit.
2. I know what happened.

By “2” I mean that I’ve been keeping records of what happened (letters, diaries, writing) since I was two, which’s when my Mom started writing my first diary (I dictated to her, she wrote). A few years back I actually LIKED ambien for that reason — I wanted to be free of the burden of remembering everything. I wanted to not see so much all the time. I’m over that now. Haven’t even had an ambien in six months. So I’ve just gone gamely forward with my well-recorded existence.

So to say that I’m probably not the best narrator for “What Happened Last Night” feels like I’m eroding from the inside!

Last night, I’d had 1.5 drinks (later, at the hospital, they tested my blood alcohol level and it was .08, which is totally fine) and a teeny tiny bit of a ‘smoke’ and we’d just eaten dinner and we were going to the VIP Cocktail Party thing and when I got there I wanted water so I got water and not a drink. Then we walked outside and Julie and Brandy were there and Julie was wearing a white hat like Eminem. I was wearing my YOU GOT THE STYLE EILEEN MYLES t-shirt and everyone started talking and I started feeling weird so I was thinking in my head I had to go lie down maybe and was thinking of how I could get out of there without anyone doubting aforementioned item “#1.”

Then I couldn’t see Laneia and Sarah anymore because they were covered in black splotches and I couldn’t see anything, because everything was black. So I decided to make my exit except I guess that I didn’t, because my next memory is being somewhere else, like being carried. Someone told me later that I’d just passed out but Julie caught me before I hit the ground because she’s butch/changes the tires, etc. Then a lot of voices, a lot. Then the paramedics. Then hearing my blood pressure and thinking ‘what the fuck’ , it was like 45 over 65 (nobody can remember, Laneia remembers 72 over 48, earlier I thought one of the numbers was 54 for sure) I felt like I was in a teevee show about a person with a blood pressure of 45 over 65 (or 72 over 48) going to Seattle Grace. Then the ambulance where the bed was hard and then the hospital where the bed was soft. I hear I changed color (blue), which is ironic considering this whole incident is precisely what’s stopping me from changing into the color I WANTED to turn into this weekend, which is “tan.”

It’s important to me to be in control (see “1”) so I do my best to be stealth/non-intrusive when I get sick from drinking or food poisoning. But I remember thinking ‘I give up, someone has to fix me, I can’t do it myself.’ Then from here I have mostly what other people told me so I don’t know how to tell it. Everything hurt, unlike anything I’ve ever known. I would pass out I guess and then I would come to and then pass out and then come to.

This sounds so dramatic and cheesy and maybe precious or sentimental and I realize that, but I don’t know what else to say because I didn’t want to say anything at first. But I guess it’s important that sometimes we stop worrying about appearing to be anything but “together” and “perfect.” Because it’s not all girls in shiny bikinis, you know. Life. It’s also hospital waiting rooms.

Everything was terrible and was the worst. Also my period pains got out of control, like Black Swan was stabbing my uterus with a shard of glass. What happened was something about heat and being dehydrated and exhaustion and a Biba Syncopal Episode.

In the hospital Haviland was with me and called bcw for me. My family was in the lobby; Laneia, Alex, Rachel, Sarah, Jess. Then Alex came in and brought me Tinkerbell, and then Laneia came in and when the guy asked me if I had health insurance when I was still in the throes of it I wailed ‘this is so inhumane’. Then everyone went home and Haviland & Ashley stayed with me until I was better and they pumped things into me and there were lots of needles and IVs, etc.They had to pump water into me to get my blood pressure up, or like saline or something. There was so much of it, I felt like my veins were all cold water.

We got home at 3AM or something. Then this morning Julie & Brandy & Jess came by to see me and everyone has just been very nice to me. Ashley took a photo of Haviland in my little area of the hospital:

Now that’s over and it’s done and I’m ok and so I’m here in this live-blog as clearly I cannot be trusted to remain conscious. I have the best friends ever. I just ate an orange for the first time in like two years, oranges are so good!

Oh but earlier, when I was being carried out on a stretcher by the paramedics, Brandy noticed that some bitch at the party was wearing the same fucking white dress as her. What the fuck, right?

4:57 PM: Hello this is Rachel. We are getting ready to go to dinner, except I can’t decide what to wear to dinner until everyone votes on it and no one is voting. Did everyone notice above that Riese is no longer allergic to citric acid? Also I think Laneia just found the tampons. Things are really looking up.

5:10 PM: Wait nevermind we’re all just in a menstrual hut

5:53 PM: Rachel via email: Now this hotel room will be Camp Autostraddle/You Do You forever

6:47 PM: What does this even mean.

6:50 PM: Raise your hand if you want Brandy Howard to sexually harass you.

6:54 PM: I had a brief moment of confusion when I didn’t recognize the person in this picture, and I was like, I can’t add this until I know who it is, but then I re-read my emails and I have the answer: IT’S CARA FROM COFFEE BEAN! THANKS FOR THE DRINKS, CARA!

6:57 PM: Um… Here’s another picture telling you to smell your pillow. Carolyn says “This is for the liveblog. I have no explanation for it.”

6:57 PM: Brandy Howard is yelling “wet vaginas” down the halls at this hotel

6:59 PM: Things are getting interesting, I’m finding it hard to multi-task now with all these tweets and pictures and stuff. This is what’s happening right now: Brandy and Jess R. and maybe some other people are in a cab and they are going to have sex later, possibly with the cab driver, I wish I wasn’t picturing an elderly male cab driver right now. Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever had a female cab driver?

7:19 PM: Jess, via email: Briana Stockton of “Work Out” fame just rolled up and Brandy is
screaming “Jackie Warner!!!” at the top of her lungs. Also, apparently, she is yelling “wet vaginas” as well down the halls in the hotel. Oh, Brandy.

7:25 PM: omg you guys.

8:37 PM: Rachel finds heteros!

and this:

also, 8:37 PM:

The Team (Riese, Alex, Julie, Brandy, Laneia, Rachel, Sarah, Jess R) and The Tribe (Alex and Jess and Croce and all their ca-RAZY Los Angeles Friends who have very nice outfits) have dinner at Hamburger Mary’s. Brandy yells at everybody.

Rachel via email:

1. Nbd, we’re just in Vegas hotel room discussing boyshort/boxer brief strategy. We decided fruit of the loom are the best ones for wearing
2. We just fit every lesbian on palm springs into one restaurant and.then ordered every beer. All of the beers.

8:47 PM: Rachel, via email: We are finishing dinner and going back to the hotel. I am just so excited to see Estelle I really just can’t even tell you

9:06 PM: Rachel via email: #wtfpalmsprings

9:34 PM: Awww! I feel a sense of community.

10:18 PM: Rachel via email: We could go to the show tonight or we could just look at a retrospective of Riese’s haircut

 

10:37 PM: Red team is ready for Estelle. Born ready. Born this way. Blue team is “getting ready” which I mean really what does that even mean, I just want to hear about American boys

11:00 PM: We have made it to the place Where The Girls Are! These are the Truck Stop Girls again and I guess they are dancing to Burlesque? Like I guess the fact that this Girl Bar event is named Gurlesque is not a coincidence is what I’m saying. Also look at these ladies, they are good for looking at. Laneia says these were the best thing to happen all weekend.

11:30 PM: Rachel via email: Oh no, Vega found the Salsa Room and now we’re never going to get to see Estelle

11:58 PM: Laneia via email: This dancing. This dancing. It is a thing. Haviland + Alex. A thing .Rachel knows the words. Alex is amazed. Literally everyone is dancing. Haviland is amazing.

8:30 AM: All the livebloggers got drunk and/or fell asleep last night, but here are some delayed pictures of Estelle and blurry shapes!

8:58 AM Sunday: Hi everyone this is Rachel! Last night we went to Gurlesque, where the Truck Stop Girls had an intense and exciting dance-off with the Gurlesque Dancers. We felt it was sad that two groups of strong, empowered women had to be set against one another instead of working together to end the patriarchy, but they were very good dancers who did many sexy things with chairs and we were very impressed also. Estelle is a talented singer, and it was inspired of her to change the lyrics of “American Boy” to “American Girl” because at Dinah Shore we are mostly concerned with those.

Since it has turned out that today we are all just heading back to LA because our various Transportation Situations are such that we unfortunately cannot stay in Palm Springs any longer, we are hereby concluding this “live blog,” which to be honest We think could’ve been a lot better. I mean, the interns could have tried a little harder to actually make their own jokes and not just copy-paste emails into a wordpress document. They will all be smacked later.

But this is not the last you will hear of Dinah Shore 2011! We have lots more photos to share with you, expect to see those soon! We love you, thank you for everything, good night and good luck!

Dinah Shore Liveblog Day II: Dazed And Confused in Palm Springs

Hellooooo friends, and welcome to Dinah Shore 2011! Your intrepid Autostraddle editors will be scampering about Palm Springs like the cute little Chuck-Taylor-wearing sunburnt drunk internet kittens we are, and we have left an equally intrepid and adorable team of interns to communicate all of our adventures to you in the meantime. We’ll be hitting all the events, shows and parties of Girl Bar’s Dinah Shore Weekend 2011, and we want you to be there with us in spirit! Here’s a map of Dinah AutoHQ, courtesy of Design Director Alex Vega:

 

And check out our schedule of all the Dinah action happening this weekend! We’ll be at Girl Bar events Thursday through Sunday, and you might think you’re ready but you’re not ready. But we’re doing this anyway! Here we go!

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Friday April 1, 2011

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9:30 am: It’s supposed to be 90 degrees in Palm Springs today. And right now it’s 89 and only 9:30, I hope everyone has brought their sunscreen.9:42 am: Jess, via gchat: yesterday was stressful getting into the rooms … but today should be good. we’re all still in bed

9:48 am: I suspect everything will be boring for a while while the team recuperates from last night. Now, for the liveblog of Emily Choo’s life? Just finished eating breakfast, now watching an old episode of Glee. Yeah, I said it, I’m a Gleek.

10:14 am: from Rachel, via email: We have all just woken up, bright and chipper like happy children! Just kidding we all feel like caveman zombies. Hope the entire internet wanted to know that.

10:16 am: The team has bagels but no toaster. Or cream cheese. What will they do, toast it with a lighter or call room service? Adventures abound at Dinah Shore!

10:32 am: Rachel, via email: also Laneia really wants everyone to know that her foot isn’t broken yet

ATTENTION AUTOSTRADDLE READERS: LANEIA’S FOOT BONES ARE STILL INTACT. CARRY ON.

10:40 am: Oh thank God. The mystery of “lighter or room service?” is over. Also I am sending happy period vibes over to Riese, which is probably not as good as midol.

10:50 am: I think that we need context for this. Laneia, via twitter:10:56 am: OK, apparently they have ordered a pot of coffee but it has not arrived yet, Laneia is not actually going to die. As long as it comes soon.

11:06 am: THE COFFEE HAS ARRIVED.This is Rachel’s latte. It is already gone.11:09 am: Rachel, via email: It turns out that room service means getting THE TINIEST BOTTLE OF HOT SAUCE IN THE WORLD. Also the picture I sent you earlier was of my latte. Obvs it’s gone now. Riese still doesn’t have any midol.11:18 am: Rachel via twitter:

11:40 am: Sarah, via email: This is what we’re doing instead of going to the pool party.‘Cause, like, whatever, there are naked ladies and boobies outside, but do you know where else those things are? On Tumblr.

11:45: Oh, wait (Laneia via twitter):Personally it is my mandate to support all clothing removal anywhere ever. Especially before noon.

11:55 am: Team Autostraddle makes a solid effort to begin the day. Laneia’s shirt remains on.

Rachel: does anyone have a product that will make my hair look better than it does right now. like a shower in a bottle?

Laneia: We should do yoga
Riese: I want to spend the rest of the trip in child’s pose
Sarah: I’ve never done yoga.
Laneia: You should.
Sarah: But i’m not a hippie like you guys

11:59 am: A GREAT DISCOVERY IS MADE

See? She is:

Despite coffee, breakfast amenities, and awaiting ladies, the chances of Laneia and Sarah getting out of bed today are decreasing steadily.

Rachel reports more accurate numbers: 75% have showered or are showering, and I am only about 15-20% hungover.

1:20 pm: Rachel via email: so riese and laneia are asleep again somehow i think, and also the circles under my eyes are so dark that i do not think they will ever go away ever or be covered by any makeup so i am just going to wear my sunglasses at all times including inside and when i am asleep. the good news is the hair product laneia gave me seems really good, when is someone going to start offering us endorsements1:33 pm: Look how much whiskey is still left after last night!
1:44 pm: Jess via email: we finally left the safety of our room and ventured into lesbianland by the pool

And they have hot Autostraddle shirts, look:

Which unfortunately they are also still wearing:

Also here is Rachel and Sarah F*cking Palmface with THE SHIRT:

1:54 pm: Rachel via email: At the autostraddle lounge at the girl bar pool party!2:00 pm: Laneia via twitter:Also there is a dude in a thong, possibly he is unaware he is in public, possibly he is just trying to incarnate ‘you do you’:

2:14 pm: Rachel via email: Jess is going to get an exclusive interview with the banana hammock guy for autostraddle dot com

2:17 pm: Laneia via email: bringing pre-cut mango was THE BEST IDEA I’VE EVER HAD

2:21 pm: Riese via email: i am going to make cargo shorts happen

2:23 pm: Rachel via email: apparently there is some lounging that is going on

And Haviland was just quoted: “does anyone know where my top is?2:29 pm: Rachel via email: I think sunscreen + you do you really says it all3:05 pm: Rachel, via email, is within four feet of…

3:17 pm: Rachel via email: VEGA IS IN THE POOLand it is very Ushery down there:These two miracles caused LANEIA AND RIESE TO WAKE UPAnd last but not least, Alex really liked how this girl looked in THE SHIRT too.3:23 pm: Rachel via email: Haviland is the best at selling calendars3:27 pm: Riese: Tequila sounds like a bad idea, and I’m the market for a bad idea.

3:48 pm: Rachel finds Julie Goldman: “the butchiest butch that ever butched”

4:04 pm: Rachel via email: Alex, Jessica, brandy and JulieAlex also emails to let us know they’re chillin’ at the pool / Auto table:

4:22 pm: Alex is justcaughtnapping dot tumblr dot com

4:28 pm: Jessica interviews Banana Hammock man

The Dinah Shore 2011 Liveblog Is Here – Autostraddle Does Girl Bar!

Hellooooo friends, and welcome to Dinah Shore 2011! Your intrepid Autostraddle editors will be scampering about Palm Springs like the cute little Chuck-Taylor-wearing sunburnt drunk internet kittens we are, and we have left an equally intrepid and adorable team of interns to communicate all of our adventures to you in the meantime. We’ll be hitting all the events, shows and parties of Girl Bar’s Dinah Shore Weekend 2011, and we want you to be there with us in spirit! Here’s a map of Dinah AutoHQ, courtesy of Design Director Alex Vega:

 

 

And check out our schedule of all the Dinah action happening this weekend! We’ll be at Girl Bar events Thursday through Sunday, and you might think you’re ready but you’re not ready. But we’re doing this anyway! Here we go!

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Thursday March 31st, 2011

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11:03 am: Tinkerbell is alive.

12:11 pm: Riese and Haviland made a pre-Dinah vlog for you! JK they just took some pictures together.

12:45 pm: Rachel, via email: This is groceries and booze for ten lesbians for four days, this episode brought to you by the letters T and J.

1:30 pm: Rachel, via email: Jk we’re not going to sunshine were just going to watch the real l word parody over and over the entire weekend.

But I want to see some girls in bikinis.

Emily Choo is sitting alone in her room eating triscuits and hummus. Carolyn is sitting alone in her room drinking coffee. Why is Canada so cold.

1:55 pm: Rachel, via email: Packing for sunshine = all of the mangoes.
2:23 pm: Rachel, via email: Lesbians in a car! We’re finally leaving LA!

2:51 pm: Rachel, via email: Just kidding, we haven’t left LA yet. Filling tires instead.

2:58 pm: Rachel, via email: MANGO TIME.

I am not sure what else is going on in that car right now but I am sure it is hilarious, until someone tells me I’m just gonna start writing on all the photos with white text in tribute to stuff lesbian kittens like.

Also #desertstraddle is going to be a thing, just like last time. Rachel says so.

3:27 pm: Sarah F*cking Palmface, via twitter: 3:29 pm: Sarah F*cking Palmface, via an email from Rachel: “I want to go to there.”

3:46 pm:4:05 pm: Everyone is still at In n Out, which is a restaurant, which I did not realize until Rachel sent me the following photos:Rachel, via email: You guys! I have never been to in n out ever in my life before, I am 99% sure this veggie burger wasn’t vegan but I ate it anyway.4:38 pm: Rachel, via email: i think my phone has been autocorrecting dinah to sunshine

5:09: Rachel via twitter:5:26: THE U.S.S. AUTOSTRADDLE HAS LANDED…sort of:

Sarah, via email: jess r., laneia and riese are in Palm Springs, figuring out the hotel sitch. Alex, Jessica, Rachel and I are still not there, because whatever car I take to Dinah apparently always ends up being hours late. But we’ll be there soon!

6:29 pm: Riese, via email:

so we have one room at the hotel zozo (or zoso? idk)
and one room at the hyatt
and all the alcohol is in the car
so far nobody has yelled at anybody so we’re doing better than last year

7:05 pm: Ok so Rachel and co. made it to Palm Springs an hour ago and we forgot to tell you about it.
7:08 pm:

Sarah F*cking Palmface, via email:

We are getting ready for the comedy show! While sipping whiskey, the conversation has turned to spirit animals. We decided that riese is her own spirit animal.

Alex: There’s no animal that encompasses you. You’re like a hybrid creation of someone like J.R.R. Tolkein.
Rachel: Yeah there are people asking their parents for a baby Riese.

7:18 pm: So it sounds like the drinking has started and is delicious, at least if you like bananas.

Laneia is all like, “Can I wear cowboy boots over pants?” Riese is heavily pondering this, but I think that we all know the answer is: shorts. The shortest shorts possible.
UPDATE: Rachel is worried that Laneia is not going to wear the cowboy boots. This is silly, as boots are for kicking ass, and that is what Laneia does. She is going with the pants. But we all know that pants are temporary/a social construct/meant to be removed.

7:46:

Rachel, via email: Also I got really excited about oranges and bought 8 pounds of them at Trader Joe’s but somehow no lemons or limes for drinks. I am not sure yet whether this was a mistake.

Can we all just discuss how this bag of oranges looks like a gnome?

8:00 pm:

Rachel: It turns out Alex vega and I use the same brand of makeup? I feel way sexier now

hot.

8:34 pm: Emily Choo — So, I haven’t heard anything from anyone in a while, but if you’re curious as to the liveblog of my life, I just finished eating a bowl of cereal and now I am staring at my computer screen.

8:36 pm: Somewhere in Palm Springs the following things are happening right this minute:

Girlbar’s Welcome Party at Hunter’s Night Club (8 pm to 2 am)

And Funny Girlz 6 Comedy Show, at Hotel Zoso, which started five minutes ago, if you are at Palm Springs and on a laptop reading this and were planning to make it there, RUN, you might miss Julie Goldman! (Also, Stamie K, Tracy Ryerson, Liz Feldman, and Erin Foley)

9:11 pm: Everyone at Palm Springs is MIA, Katrina is telling me about termites.

Katrina: did you know
that termites can fly
because we just found that out
Emily: HAHAH
wtf
Katrina: i know right
how fucking horrifying
Emily: what are you doing to solve this problem
Katrina: um, right now?
screaming and running around and emailing our landlord
Emily: that sounds productive

10:05 pm: Um, still no word from anyone. I guess this means they are having such a good time they forgot why they’re there in the first place: TO SEND CUTE PICTURES OF EVERYONE BEING MADE OF KITTENS, OBVS.

10:26 pm: This is what Katrina and Emily look like with no updates from the team.

 

Also, we are vaguely worried, like lesbian mothers pacing around in slippers waiting for their drunk daughters to come home. Like, “Why you no call me? I wait up all night for you, you no come home for dinner, I worry myself sick! Santa Maria help us all!”

It is uncertain whether or not anyone’s mother actually talks that way, but if Emily and Katrina were Autostraddle’s lesbian mothers, they would probably sound kind of like that. It would also sound like this:

Emily: i think they all died already
Katrina: wow that was so quick
Emily: i know the weekend hasn’t even started
Katrina: we should go rescue them
while wearing cutoff shorts
Emily: we can squeeze into one plane seat
Katrina: or no pants
Emily: i wonder what happened to them
Katrina: i think probably ‘alcohol’

STAY TUNED TO FIND OUT.

10:48 pm: THE TEAM IS ALIVE AND HAS SOME VERY IMPORTANT UPDATES (turns out there was no internet and they were alive all along)

Rachel: Stamie’s son Jagger is my spirit animal. THIS IS IMPORTANT.

Sarah F*cking Palmface: Julie Goldman just said pussy SO MANY TIMES I can’t even

11:11 pm: Rachel via gchat:

Basically, we just went to Girl Bar’s Funny Girlz comedy show
with Tracy Ryerson, Stamie K, Liz Feldman, Erin Foley, and Julie Goldman
um
I think Stamie’s son Jagger is my spirit aniimal
fact
and Julie Goldman was amazing
obvs

Obvs.

11:14 pm: Rachel, Riese, Laneia, Sarah, Haviland, and Jess R are now back in the hotel room.

11:24 pm: Rachel via gchat:

brandy is coming over
we are skipping the party at Hunter’s and instead having a “never go to sleep ever in the hotel room” party

11:41 pm: So because of forces beyond anyone besides Verizon Wireless’s control, there are no pictures yet of anything funny or comedic. But trust me you guys it was super! Great! The bar had vodka tonics SO obvs it was super enjoyable.

11:44 pm: HELLO HERE ARE SOME BLURRY PHOTOS TAKEN VIA HTC ERIS. YOU ARE WELCOME. THIS EPISODE WAS BROUGHT TO YOU BY VODKA TONICS.

 

 

12:04 AM: Julie, Brandy, Alex, Jess, Haviland and Sarah are boldly going where quite a few lesbians have gone before, which is to the Thursday night party at Hunter’s across the street from Hotel Zoso. Other members of Team Autostraddle are not so brave, and are staying inside the hotel room which is fortified with air conditioning and All Of The Oranges. It’s like All Of The Lights except Alex Vega is better at typography. Anyways tomorrow maybe we will have more updates and possibly photographs from the INSANE LESBIAN DEBAUCHERY of tonight’s party, but for tonight GO TO BED WEIRDOS. Or eat a mango or something IDK. We’ll see you bright and early tomorrow morning! <3