Meet Lauren Patten and Sonya Tayeh, the Queer Artists Ushering a Brighter Future for Broadway

All image credits to Matthew Murphy.

Every once in the rarest while, an artist shows up on Broadway in possession of such exceptional talent — audiences start thinking about their future not in years but decades. Jagged Little Pill’s Lauren Patten and Moulin Rouge! The Musical’s Sonya Tayeh are such talents currently in the running for their first Tonys.

Lauren Patten delivers a transcendent Tony and Grammy-nominated performance in the explosive musical featuring Alanis Morissette’s catalogue. She plays Jo, a teenage lesbian exploring masculine gender presentation and the aftermath of heartbreak. She imbues Jo’s fiery spirit with heart-rending fragility, painting a teenage portrait so vivid it feels created almost by memory.

Not just because of her talents as an actress and singer but for the way her performance encapsulates the social and cultural history of “You Oughta Know” with such richness and truth that adds a new layer of meaning with lyrics queered for the show. Her performance is a gift to queer people and an ode to sustenance and healing. She turns the mirror back to us, crystalizing kinship with audience members who identify with Jo’s experiences.

In Moulin Rouge! The Musical, a stage adaptation of the 2001 film, Sonya Tayeh’s extravagant, multigenre choreography, is a dare for performers and audiences alike to share the truths of who they really are. It’s a call to understand that for two and a half hours, we all get the same shot at being carefree, to choose freedom and play over fear. It makes the word celebration, which at times seems frivolous, suddenly seem more necessary than one might have imagined.

“I try to celebrate the art of play in a room. Moulin Rouge! has such excess and such unapologetic energy. I got on board to choreograph the show because dance drives the story, and that’s the Broadway show I want to see,” says Tayeh.

“Dancing was how I was most comfortable with myself and felt the safest. I really can’t live without being in motion. Putting bodies in motion. That’s how I communicate with clarity, with the idea of using physicality as a map… feelings and emotions… and seeing where that map takes me. I get so much solace from it.”

Queer representation is thankfully not a rarity in theater, but that pride has been reserved for queer men. Fun Home, The Prom, and Head Over Heels make the list of exceptions, but who says we should get so few and many of them short-lived? Patten and Tayeh’s Tony nominations signal that audiences and industry leaders are finally recognizing the work of queer artists that we need in order to achieve a radical queer vision of Broadway once performances resume but most importantly, the real change they can affect offstage.

Says Tayeh, “I want to generate electricity from the theater from the stage to the audience at a moment where we need to celebrate otherness, inclusivity, and righteous bohemian life, which means freedom for all. Moulin Rouge! celebrates love with people of all shapes, sizes, and colors, as it should be.”

Patten admits that as a queer performer, playing a queer character like Jo comes with a lot of pressure. Though she’s had principal roles on Broadway before, most notably Fun Home, Jagged Little Pill marks her most high-profile show to date.

“Everybody is desperate to see themselves because we don’t have that much representation, but any one person can’t represent every single person who shares their identity. I’m so happy to be able to represent even one specific person’s experience. But it’s also complicated.”

She has been with the production for approximately three years, through workshops, readings, and an out-of-town run in Cambridge, MA, so she’s acutely aware of the impact it has on audiences. “I love to be able to interact with folks and talk to them about their experience and what the show means to them. Sometimes those can be some of the most joyous and meaningful moments of my work.”

“The process of working on Jagged Little Pill has been very comforting,” Patten continues, “working on something that has something to say about this time that has been so fraught. To have a space and go to work where everybody has something to say about it, and we couldn’t leave that at the door. It was really helpful.”

Sitting in the reality of our feelings isn’t only a recurring theme in Jagged Little Pill but throughout this pandemic. Rather than focusing on personal and professional losses and loss of exposure that Broadway shows bring, Patten and Tayeh see this pause as an opportunity to fully invest their time and energy in ensuring that they, along with the rest of America, don’t just grieve but learn and be of service.

I am curious, of course, about what Lauren Patten has discovered about herself as an artist during this pandemic, and she’s not willing to forget once Broadway resumes performances. She is thoughtful for a moment.

“Taking a look at an institution and how it still needs to grow and change is never easy, but I do feel the energy of the community that wants the institution to respond to this moment and wants there to be change within the institution. There’s so much energy passion behind that,” she says adding that she feels hopeful that as a community of artists they can lead that charge, perhaps in a different way than other institutions might.

Patten’s also reflective of the ways the last year has impacted communities of color disproportionately and often violently. Over the course of our conversation, she repeatedly states that she does not speak for people of color. But she won’t be leaving us to fight for our freedom alone.

“The danger in talking about this as a white person is I can come across as like, ‘Yeah, well, I’ve learned so, you know, now I’m the good white person.’ It’s not that at all. I’m still very much on the same plane as anybody. I’ve made a commitment to continuing to learn into showing up differently in spaces. That can’t go away for me and I hope that that’s happened for enough people that we can make a change in the spaces and in the institutions.”

In the context of the pandemic and the current wave of resistance against white supremacy, Sonya Tayeh’s work is a reminder that the task of imagining a different world and a more accessible and inclusive Broadway exceeds a lifetime. To speak with her is to remember that the process of healing is infinite.

“The patterns don’t work, they divide. They cause friction and separation. The further away we go, the less we will understand each other.”

As a Palestinian, Lebanese, Muslim, and queer artist, Tayeh wants to make sure that she has a reflection in the room, in a very tangible way that also includes ignoring gender constraints when hiring associates for her projects, including Moulin Rouge!: “Why are we so focused on these labels, when you do that, you pull half a page off the list of possibilities. What are you afraid of?”

This is why she remains inspired by the up-and-coming queer and POC artists making names for themselves, a bold new class of dancers and choreographers whom she frequently collaborates with and mentors.

From an outsider’s perspective, it’s easy to only think of Lauren Patten and Sonya Tayeh’s accolades and accomplishments. But what brought them to this apex was their humanity, honesty, empathy, and ability to empower those around them to love themselves and speak their truth. It’s Patten and Tayeh’s tenacity that solidifies them as formidable queer artists eager to shift long-held perceptions that, quite frankly, have no place on Broadway.

In late 2019, before we all entered lockdown, I saw Patten in Jagged Little Pill. Interviewing her now, she leaves me with a question that stays with me long after speaking with her, much like the staying power of her presence in the show, except this one doesn’t have me stifling sobs. Instead, she asks how do we bring that kind of experience that we have in the theater — as connection and hope and empathy — into our lives, “because it has to be there too.”

That unwavering belief that Sonya Tayeh and Lauren Patten have in themselves, and the swings they’re taking in an effort to broaden our perspective of what theater can do, is galvanizing. They’re proving that regardless of whatever the future of Broadway or the Tony Awards holds, to make Broadway truly inclusive for marginalized people like us, you don’t ask for permission and don’t seek forgiveness — you have to simply exist.

From “Calamity Jane” to “The Prom”: A History of Queer Women in Movie Musicals

Musicals are gay. So why aren’t more musicals gay?

From George Cukor to Jacques Demy to Rob Marshall, many of cinema’s greatest movie musicals were directed by queer men. But few of those films focused on gay characters — the genre simply offering an opportunity for queer aesthetic amidst heterosexual text.

There are some major exceptions — A Chorus Line, the fantastic and underappreciated Zero Patience — but even as stage musicals have become increasingly gay, the budgets required to make movie musicals have kept them consistently straight. Queer people have remained underrepresented in this genre we sustain — and it’s especially true for queer women.

That’s why today’s release of The Prom on Netflix is so exciting. The Prom premiered on Broadway a mere four years ago and it’s already been turned into a major star-studded movie! That’s rare even for a straight musical! So to celebrate here is an exhaustive look at the representation of queer women in the history of movie musicals.

---

A History of Queer Women in Movie Musicals

1953 — Calamity Jane (dir. David Butler)

This Doris Day starring-musical is absolutely gayer than you’d ever imagine from a major Hollywood musical made in 1953. There’s subtext and then there’s… whatever is going on here. Jane fully checks out a woman’s ass, she moves in with a woman she clearly loves, and she feels butch even when she’s made femme. But while that’s all fun and good, the movie is also as racist as the least self-aware westerns of the time and manages to throw in some random transphobia. Certainly a product of its time and point of view, but any discussion of queer women in movie musicals would be incomplete without starting here.

1972 — Cabaret (dir. Bob Fosse)

Every iteration of Cabaret is super gay because Berlin in the early 30s was super gay. The most recent Broadway revivals have certainly upped the queer energy, but even the masterful film adaptation is inherently queer. There isn’t much in the film about queer women — unless you read bisexual energy into Sally Bowles which, hey, fair — but there is one number that’s explicit. “Two Ladies” finds Joel Grey’s Emcee playfully describing his throuple with, you guessed it, two ladies. Sure, he’s the focal point of the number, but who knows what’s happening under the sheet?

1975 — The Rocky Horror Picture Show (dir. Jim Sharman)

The Rocky Horror Picture Show is usually discussed in the context of Dr. Frank-N-Furter’s trans identity, but the fun thing about trans people is we can be queer too! And, oh boy, is Frank-N-Furter queer. Frank has a questionable rendezvous with Janet, he chases her around multiple times, and there’s also mention that Frank used to be with Columbia. Not to mention Columbia and Magenta being all over each other during “Touch Me” or the whole cast making out during “Rose Tint My World.” This is a queer movie in every configuring sense and it, frankly, deserves more acknowledgment as a work of queer woman cinema. Frank may be a sweet transvestite but our language has changed and I think it’s safe to say Susan Sarandon and Tim Curry fucking is gay gay gay.

2002 — 8 Women (dir. François Ozon)

Was it really almost three whole decades? There must be something I’m unaware of to fill the gap. (We love a comments section!) But as far as I know this French murder mystery farce was the next queer woman musical. The influence of queer icon Jacques Demy is felt in François Ozon’s film that’s like musical Clue but entirely women and French. And when I say French, I mean French. This movie feels gay and then it gets explicitly gay and then it gets explicitly gayer. By the end it’s unclear if anyone is straight! Special shoutout to Firmine Richard who is given a sad gay ballad and Catherine Deneuve whose commitment to playing gay despite suing Deneuve Magazine is ever surprising.

2002 — Chicago (dir. Rob Marshall)

A film that certainly inspired more gay feelings than it is actually gay, this Best Picture winner is still worth noting for Queen Latifah’s coded lesbian Matron Mama Morton. I mean, she strokes her feathers while saying, “I love them all and all of them love me” — not exactly subtle! The movie does manage to remove some of the subtext by creating a fantasy sequence where she’s singing to male audience members, but we know what’s really going on. Also she calls Roxie pretty and strokes her hair before saying “I’ll take care of you” and putting a firm grip on the back of her neck. Look, this abusive quid pro quo isn’t something to romanticize, but in 2002 I did not understand the nuances of that!! I just had gay feelings!!

2005 — Rent (dir. Chris Columbus)

Rent is the most prominent queer woman stage show to get a film adaptation and while we can argue about the quality of this adaptation — and Rent itself — that alone is worth celebrating. Rent means so much to so many gays and it’s easy to see why. I mean, Joanne and Maureen! MAUREEN. Idina Menzel reprises her role from the original Broadway cast and what a joy, because of her voice and because of the way she looks in tight leather pants and a tank. “Take Me or Leave Me” is so fun especially when Tracie Thoms is standing on the stairs in her suit all gay and Idina starts crawling towards her. What a moment! What a musical! What a movie! Sort of.

2005 — The Producers (dir. Susan Stroman)

It’s unfortunate the same year that brought us objectively the biggest queer women musical also had this. Maybe this tongue-in-cheek number wouldn’t annoy me so much if this list wasn’t filled with femmes and subtext. But since it is I’m going to be a humorless lesbian and say “Keep It Gay” feels cringey fifteen years later especially the characterization of the butch lighting designer.

2007 — Love Songs (dir. Christophe Honoré)

This is another film that feels like part of Jacques Demy’s lineage — maybe it’s impossible to be a queer French filmmaker making a musical and not be inspired by him. But while 8 Women leaned into the farce, this movie leans into the romantic melodrama. Unfortunately, what begins as a très français throuple story turns tragic and the only remaining gay content is male. But first there’s a good song about being a couple’s third and having to manage their relationship problems!

2007 — Across the Universe (dir. Julie Taymor)

One fun thing about being gay is being obsessed with something as a kid and then growing up and meeting other gay people and realizing they too were obsessed with that same thing. One of those things for me is absolutely Julie Taymor’s Beatles jukebox musical Across the Universe. I remember my dad was thrilled that I was suddenly very into The Beatles but a bit confused why I was most into them when sung by Evan Rachel Wood. This whole movie pulsates with queer energy, and Prudence played by T.V. Carpio is explicitly a lesbian! She pines over a cheerleader in “I Want to Hold Your Hand” and is literally coaxed out of the closet in “Dear Prudence.” She eventually ends up out and proud and dating a contortionist, so a very gay happy ending indeed.

2013 — Frozen (dir. Jennifer Lee and Chris Buck)

Queers have been projecting our feelings onto Disney movies for decades, but the social media response to Frozen showed just how starved we are for some actual representation. “Let It Go” is a phenomenal coming out anthem — even if unintentional — and the reunion of ice queen Elsa (Idina Menzel again!) and her heterosexual sister felt like an allegory for many of us who had to find common ground with straight relatives. Alas, the #GiveElsaaGirlfriend campaign failed and the sequel just brought more subtext, this time in the form of love songs to Elsa’s mother. Okay fine, I guess that is pretty gay.

2014 — Girltrash: All Night Long (dir. Alexandra Kondracke)

I’m sorry, but when I think of queer women musicals, I still think of this wonderful guilty pleasure. Based on Angela Robinson’s web series Girl Trash, All Night Long (which Robinson disowned) is special for its ensemble cast of queer women favorites and the queer women crew who made it. No, it’s not a masterpiece, but it’s silly and the songs are catchy and I get “Fantasy Crush” stuck in my head at least once a month.

2017 — Anna and the Apocalypse (dir. John McPhail)

If you haven’t had enough lesbian Christmas movie discourse this year, how about a lesbian Christmas movie musical? Okay FINE only one of the characters is a lesbian, but she’s played by openly queer actor Sarah Swire! This is a zombie movie musical filled with charm and heart and even a little emotional devastation. It has a very poppy teen vibe and it charmed me completely and I think it might charm you!

2017 — Good Manners (dir. Juliana Rojas and Marco Dutra)

Some films on this list are musicals, but only a little lesbian — this is lesbian, but only a little musical. There’s just no way to define this masterpiece by genre. It’s a werewolf horror movie fairy tale that’s part romance and part mother/son tale and it’s about queer motherhood and about race and class in Brazil and that’s a lot for one movie and yet it all works? Oh yeah and there are some musical numbers. To reveal when the first one comes would be to spoil one of the film’s many twists, but it uses music the way some old Disney movies used music — just a few numbers in the emotional moments that most require breaking out into song.

2017 — Hello, Again (dir. Tom Gustafson)

Based on Michael John LaChiusa’s 1994 Off Broadway show, this series of musical vignettes about love and sex misses more than it hits. But in one number Audra McDonald and Martha Plimpton are lovers and that alone is worth watching! It’s a shame the movie as a whole isn’t stronger — if it was it would be way more popular because, again I repeat, AUDRA MCDONALD AND MARTHA PLIMPTON ARE LOVERS.

2017 — Holy Camp! (dir. Javier Ambrossi and Javier Calvo)

I want to be thorough and sell you on this wonderful Spanish musical, but I also just want you to watch it for yourself so you can experience the same surprise and delight I did. This is really one of the standouts on this list in terms of levels of queerness, quality of musical numbers, and pure exuberant spirit. It’s sacrilege that ends up feeling transcendent. It’s everything I could ever want from a queer musical! And it’s on Netflix!

2019 — Ek Ladki Ko Dekha Toh Aisa Laga (dir. Shelly Chopra Dhar)

This is the first Bollywood film to feature a lesbian romance and that is an exciting and noteworthy step towards progress. However, this film is most definitely just a step. For one, it’s not about the lesbians, but about a struggling playwright who decides to help them. The movie very explicitly is for a straight audience to teach them basic gay acceptance and it’s possibly effective in that context, but it’s not the big gay Bollywood movie we’ll hopefully have someday.

2020 — The Prom (dir. Ryan Murphy)

And that brings us to today! The release of The Prom! Here we have a huge star studded Broadway adaptation not just with two queer women in the ensemble cast but two queer women at its center. Sure, the adults — both straight and gay male — are major characters, but the hopeful and out Emma and her closeted but aching love Alyssa are the unruly heart of the film. And they’re played by Jo Ellen Pellman and Ariana DeBose, two incredibly talented queer actors! Whether you love his work or hate it, Ryan Murphy is a queer artist committed to telling queer stories. He saw a Broadway show about a gay kid living in Indiana and remembered when he was a gay kid living in Indiana and wanted to bring the story to other gay kids living in Indiana and all over. It is not new for a gay man to have power in Hollywood, but it is new for a gay man to be so out and to use that power so openly in putting queer people on screen. This is a corny celebration of musicals, a corny celebration of being gay, and I’m happy to join it in celebration. If you’ve read this far it should be obvious I too am corny and gay.

2021 and beyond — The Future!

So what’s next? Well, next year brings the delayed and much anticipated arrival of the In the Heights movie and while the stage show isn’t gay there are rumors this will be. (Okay, fine, rumors, is what I call me reading into a single shot in the trailer of Steph Beatriz and Daphne Rubin-Vega making gay looks at each other! IMAGINE!) There’s also finally an adaptation of lesbian masterpiece Fun Home in the works from stage director Sam Gold. (I’m not sure about the casting of Jake Gyllenhaal but I’ll keep an open mind!) Frozen songwriters Kristen Anderson-Lopez and Robert Lopez are working on an adaptation of The Prince and the Dressmaker, a transfeminine lesbian fairy tale that feels ripped straight from my wildest dreams. And finally director Blitz Bazawule and writer Marcus Gardley are working on an adaptation of The Color Purple musical and while the stage show only does slightly better than the movie in portraying the novel’s queerness hopefully this adaption will amend that.

Then there are stage shows that aren’t currently being adapted but could be! The more shows like The Prom that get made and do well on stage the more possibilities there are for musical films. Maybe we’ll get movies of jukebox musicals Head Over Heels or Jagged Little Pill. (Actually, turning Head Over Heels into a movie with Peppermint is a dream of mine…) Or maybe someone will rescue one of my very favorite musicals from obscurity and give Miss You Like Hell the audience it deserves!

And, finally, it’s worth noting that some of the best entries on this list came from independent filmmakers who weren’t afraid of the musical genre despite their limited resources. This is certain to continue as more and more queer creators are given opportunities — or create opportunities — even on a small scale. Just nine days from now Ashlei Hardenburg-Cartagena’s short film A Single Evening (pictured above) will be available to stream. This movie about a bisexual Latina’s romantic woes and the personified dating apps that haunt her was one of the best shorts I saw at Newfest this year. It has all the creativity and heart of the best musicals and you should make sure to watch it when it’s released. Imagine what Hardenburg-Cartagena will do with the genre in the years to come! Imagine what so many other queer creators will do with the genre in the years to come! The movie musical may have excluded queer women for most of the 20th century. But we’re included now — we’re including ourselves now — and, to quote The Prom, it’s time to dance!

Netflix’s Official “The Prom” Trailer Is All Glitter and Gay

The time for Prom is approaching faster than actual Prom does your senior year of high school and we know this because the full trailer is finally here!

I’ve been feeling so conflicted about this because the Broadway show was SO so great and my feelings were a little hurt when Caitlin Kinnunen and Isabelle McCalla weren’t tapped to reprise their roles in the film version of their musical, and frankly I didn’t know if I could trust Ryan Murphy to not shift the focus to the adult characters instead of the teen lesbians, but I adore Ariana DeBose, and Jo Ellen Pellmen sparkles in this preview, and honestly if the balance in the movie is similar to the balance in the trailer, I think this is going to be a great movie. A glittery, glamorous, gay time full of fun and feelings. Plus with stars like Kerry Washington, Nicole Kidman, and Meryl Streep…it can’t be anything less than dazzling right?

I won’t lie, I went into this trailer with low expectations, but by the time Keegan-Michael Key said, “Okay, I admit, that got to me” I was feeling the exact same way. I got fully swept up in it and finally, finally allowed myself to get genuinely excited about this movie.

Ryan Murphy’s “The Prom” Trailer Is Here to Gay up Your Day

Who’s ready to go to gay prom?

I was lucky enough, thanks largely in part to my living in New York City, to see The Prom on stage during it’s (arguably too short) run on Broadway, and I won’t lie, I was originally wary of the concept. Would a story about a girl whose school wouldn’t let her take another girl to prom (based on a true story that happened in 2010 in Mississippi) hold up in 2020? In New York?? On Broadway??? But then the original cast performed at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade and the leads of the show (queer Broadway stars Caitlin Kinnunen and Isabelle McCalla) kissed and the world got ANGRY. So I knew we still needed a musical like this.

Plus, as a queer person who has loved musicals for as long as she can remember (technically I saw my first musical in the womb), it was nice to be the point of one. It wasn’t the first time, and I reckon it won’t be the last, but it was a sweet, wholesome, very approachable musical that hopefully melted a few hearts. Or at least helped some young people know their unruly hearts are perfect just the way they are.

I was once again wary when I heard Netflix was going to let Ryan Murphy tell yet another lesbian story (“wary” is my default setting these days) but with an all-star cast of Hollywood greats like Meryl Streep, Kerry Washington, and Nicole Kidman, and queer Broadway performers Ariana Debose and Jo Ellen Pellmen at the helm of it all, there’s no way it isn’t a romp. Right?

Enjoy this trailer full of glitz and glamour and hope with me, if you will, that this will be sparkly and fun and gay, more like peak Glee than American Horror Story: Cult, if you know what I mean.

25 Broadway Musicals You Can Stream Online

---

Grease

Legally Blonde: The Musical

Cabaret

Billy Elliot!

Company

Jesus Christ Superstar

Hello Again

Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat

Annie

Hair

Into the Woods

Chicago

Gypsy

West Side Story

Les Miserables

Bye Bye Birdie

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

Rent

Fiddler on the Roof

The Phantom of the Opera

Kinky Boots

Little Shop of Horrors

The Rocky Horror Picture Show

Dreamgirls

Fame!

Newsies

Falsettos

Peter Pan

Evita

Hairspray!

Mama Mia!

The Wiz

Funny Girl

Musicals Won’t Save the World but “The Prom” Is Gonna Try Anyway

The Prom is a new musical from Alliance Theatre (Atlanta, Georgia) that’s coming to Broadway in November 2018 and it’s about lesbians and we need to talk about it right now.

Emma Nolan, a teenage lesbian in Indiana, wants to go to prom with her girlfriend. She soon becomes the town outcast when her PERFECTLY REASONABLE request results in the PTA cancelling the prom for everyone. Because if the gays want it, the straights must destroy it. But do not despair! A bunch of ex-Broadway stars who want to show the world how amazing and selfless they are will save the day! Or at least, try to. That’s when things get even more ridiculous.

Here is why you need to love this straight from my liveblog to myself:

There is a literal song where the girls sing to each other about how their lives went from black and white drab to full color BECAUSE THEY ARE LESBIANS AND IN LOVE

The straight couple just talks about how Broadway should still be alive and well and how sticking up for the kids in school makes work worth it and how to be better people its adorable

Coming out stories are great and I love them but it’s beyond refreshing to see girls who just know they’re gay and cannot be swayed from sticking to their truth

How many lesbian stories are there where
a.) The girls aren’t physically harmed
b.) She gets to stay the protagonist in their own story
c.) THE LESBIANS GET TO LIVE AND BE HAPPY BY THE END
I’m gonna tell you how many off the top of my head and that answer is zero

I AM A MESS I CANNOT BELIEVE I AM WATCHING A MUSICAL WHERE TWO GIRLS ARE IN LOVE AND THEY ARE GOING TO PROM IM CRYING I CANNOT CALM DOWN HOLY SHIT AND THERE ARE ADULTS FIGHTING FOR THE KIDS AND THEYRE SINGING ABOUT HOW THEATRE IS IMPORTANT WHAT IS THIS AM I IN HEAVEN

I 100% believe that life can be made better with musical accompaniment and perfectly choreographed dance breaks, so I was all on board for this show. I had a hell of a high school experience and am always up for any story that lets me rewrite it (however temporarily) into something less tragic and ridiculous.

See, I’m advocating for this show cause I was a theatre kid and even though the runninng joke is that theatre is gay, it really isn’t, it’s just….less straight. If you think about it, there are very few musicals for lesbians. Playbill wrote about this and highlights how even when we’re in shows (such as The Color Purple, Rent, and Falsettos), most of the characters are stereotypical, they don’t stay together or even stay alive, or you’ve got to read between the lines to get your representation.

Though Fun Home, Alison Bechdel’s musical based on her bestselling memoir of the same name, is a necessary masterpiece that avoids these pitfalls, it can still leave a young girl or non-binary kid wanting more than “when you grow up, it’ll get better.” Because sometimes you need to know that it can be a little more than bearable, right now. We all know that a lot of kids aren’t staying alive long enough to even find out if it gets better. Is this musical going to change that? Probably not. But it can give someone hope. And I’ve seen hope do impossible things.

Theatre is about taking a chunk of life and turning everything up to the highest setting. I think the idea is to give people a safe space to dream and feel and be without worrying if they seem too dramatic or gay or just plain wrong. It gives you a chance to work through some shit. Are you going to come out to the entire school after a year and a half in the closet? Of course not (but if you do, more props to you)! But seeing it play out on stage lets you indulge in the fantasy, feel a ton of shit and then get to the other side of it so you can be rational and do what you need to do. It lets you figure out what you can do in reality. It may even convince you that it’s the perfect idea and to go ahead with it. Theatre and this musical especially just gives you fucking options to the shit you don’t know how to deal with. And when you’re still in high school and everything feels like it’s gonna end, that’s some shit you need.

Playlist: Gay Broadway Morning

Hey little thespian lesbians, how’re you holding up? Maybe it seems a little dark in your world right now, you know with America being governed by a literal Cheeto, Brexit, the fact that the sun still isn’t fully risen at 7:30 in the morning, or like maybe you just saw something really sad recently and it’s fucking with your mojo. Here are my tips for surviving: drink lots of water (you’re so dehydrated, go drink some now!), breathe, love up on your friends and let them love you, and do something every morning to start your day off as gay as possible.

Here’s where I come in. Gay Broadway Morning is my playlist of choice on weekdays. It’s full of witty, wordy songs from musical theatre that make you want to dance with your cereal and serenade your cats as you make your bed. Brush your teeth to “Going Down” from Hair and you’ll always get in a full two minutes! Sing “Miracle of Miracles” to your coffee maker as you pour your first cup (also side note, maybe sing this song to someone after you propose and they say yes). “Gimme Gimme” reminds you to be strong and assertive about what you want when you’re out there making big time business deals. Every song on this playlist is a little push forward for you, reminding you that you are perfect just as you are. Now go out there and live loud just like a musical theatre enthusiast should!

The Lion King, I Just Can’t Wait to be King
Evita, Rainbow High
Annie, You’re Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile
Fun Home, Come to the Fun Home
Chicago, All That Jazz
25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee, I Speak Six Languages
Fiddler on the Roof, Miracle of Miracles
Hamilton: An American Musical, My Shot
Into the Woods, On the Steps of the Palace
Company, You Could Drive a Person Crazy
Little Night Music, The Glamourous Life
Hair, White Boys
Shrek: The Musical, Freak Flag
Thoroughly Modern Millie, Gimmie Gimmie
The Wild Party (Lippa), An Old-Fashioned Love Story
Songs for a New World, King of the World
Hair, Going Down
West Side Story, America
Hair, Sodomy

https://open.spotify.com/user/1229950546/playlist/1ooTv4d8oJyPeXU3rxL6tu

Give My Regards to Broadway: The Mixtape

feature image credit: Maciej Bledowski / Shutterstock

A series in which we use the power of song to share a multimedia slice of our memories and experiences across time and bandwidth. Do you remember where you were when you heard this one, or this one? We do.

---

When I was 12, my parents took my sister and me to see the Phantom of the Opera at the Pantages Theatre in Toronto, Canada. I remember being completely overwhelmed. It was like the movies, but more intense, more real, more tangible. When Christine hit those high notes, when the Phantom played his own death knell song, the music became a thunderous vibration, filling the whole theater. It lifted me, made me catch my breath, holding a fullness in my chest that was new and thrilling.

Though Phantom is one of my least beloved musicals now, musical theatre is one of my favorite hobbies. I’m not a particularly skilled vocalist. I’m an OK actor. After failing high school musical auditions more than once, I settled for running the lightboard. My relationship to musical theatre is as audience member, listener, sing-a-long-in-the-shower belter, and devotee of contemporary and weird musicals. Musicals are escape and transformation and connection to your deeper self. As someone who is always thinking of the next 10 things I have to do — or that are overdue — good theatre forces me to pause and sit and become immersed in fantasy.

There is nothing I love more than sharing a deafeningly silent, poignant moment with 300 other audience members; grinning wide through a rousing musical number that makes me want to stand and cheer; or tearing up at a matinee with the gray-haired woman seated beside me. In that spirit, I want to share some of my favorite musical moments with you. Here are some of my favorite things from my favorite shows, the songs that embrace me in the tender places of my steely heart.

Ring of Keys from Fun Home

Let’s just start here, because everyone has cried to this song. If you haven’t, you are probably going to right now. Or you are a cyborg incapable of emotion, which is understandable.

Do you remember the first time you saw a visibly queer person? A beautiful butch? The first time you felt that glimmer of recognition or tingling of desire. For many, this song is about self-realization. For me, it’s more about naming my desire. I remember the first time I saw a woman with short hair and men’s clothes and a cocky swagger in her walk. She was a manager at the McDonald’s I worked at in high school. She was bisexual and had a boyfriend and was in her twenties and a huge flirt. I’d known I was bi for a while, but I had never flirted with a woman before. I didn’t know what I even liked in a woman, what I was attracted to, until I met Stacey. I didn’t know a woman could be like her, look like her, make me blush like her. It switched something on for me that couldn’t be un-switched. When I listen to “Ring of Keys,” my heart just stops for a second. It makes think about coming into my own identity, about seeing someone and suddenly having my whole future open up before me. It’s a song about unlocking all those lonely queer places in your closeted heart, finding your people and your self.

“I know you. I know you. I know you.”

Good Morning Sunshine from Hair

I was not yet born to see Hair in 1967, the musical that set the stage for rock musicals and was billed as the “American tribal love-rock musical.” (That “tribal” part’s a bit awkward, but hippies, amiright?) So I watched the 1979 movie version on VHS, over and over and over. Sometimes I think about how Hair defined my mom’s generation and I knew it as video and about how Rent defined my generation and teens today know it as a video. What I’m saying is, I’m sure the movie was nowhere near as impactful and moving as the original stage version. There is no way I could understand the racial tensions of the 60’s, the toll of the Vietnam War, and the beauty and trappings of the sexual revolution. Similarly, I grew up in the angsty aftermath of the AIDS epidemic and I doubt today’s teens could really understand that from watching Rent.

I loved Hair, the movie. As a teen who was both really sexually curious and terrified of my sexuality, watching Hair with my friends and singing along to “Sodomy… fellatio… cunnilingus…” and “I’ve got life, life, life, life, liiiiiife!” felt really good. It’s a musical that made me feel a way about politics, about our role in effecting change, and about our responsibility to each other. Years later, I was carrying a cardboard coffin through the streets of D.C. during a Bush inaugural anti-war protest in my bright red faux fur coat, shouting “No Justice! No Peace!” into a megaphone. I think it’s safe to say that my obsession with Hair was because it shouted about sexuality at a time in my life when I was afraid to whisper and it called me into my activist soul.

Satisfied from Hamilton

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JrbCFR1FsZk

Methinks I relate a little too much to Angelica Schuyler, as portrayed by the super-talented Renee Elise Goldsberry. Not because I’m potentially in love with my sister’s husband. No, I relate to Angelica because she is a smart, witty, independent woman who is always pushing herself and her politics, who really struggles to put her own needs first. She’s always reaching for more, more, more, and she’s so strong in her convictions. I’m pretty sure Waffle has actually said to me, “You’re never satisfied with what you have.” I am always thinking about, “OK. What do I want to be doing in five years? What else can I do to make change? Am I doing enough? Could I do this one more thing?” and I am less inclined to think, “Am I taking care of myself? Is this too much?” Dating me can be a challenge for a romantic. I’ve scheduled outreach programs on the same night as my spouse’s birthday. I’ve gone to out-of-town lobby days on our anniversary. I may be out of town for our anniversary again this year. Like Aaron Burr, sir, I’m the worst. Too bad Angelica wasn’t into gal pals and/or isn’t alive anymore, because we could definitely hang. I feel like we’d get each other on a deep sisterly level.

People Like Us from The Wild Party

“Oh, the city. So many lights you can actually pretend one of them’s shining on you.”

Toni Collette, you gorgeous femme fatale. I don’t even know why I like this song so much, other than that it’s fucking beautiful. This musical was genius and had an incredible cast including Collette, the incomparable Eartha Kitt as a Vaudeville diva, and Mandy Patinkin as the abusive boyfriend. It’s based on a controversial 1928 narrative poem of the same name by Joseph Moncure March, that was banned and impossible to find in print until it was reprinted in 1994. There is some bad representation. The lesbian is aggressive and possessive. The bisexual is a sexual predator. But again, in 2000, we were still in the dark ages. The fact that a character even was bisexual, that there was a love song by a woman for another woman, made me feel less alone.

There’s a Fine, Fine Line from Avenue Q

Driving through the woods and farms on Route 3., white-knuckling the steering wheel, crying into the hair falling across my face. That’s what this song is to me. It was my go-to breakup song during the year of on-again-off-again, the track I screamed into the nothingness expanding endlessly in front of me as I drove as far as I could go until I had to turn around and head back home again.

Last Night of the World from Miss Saigon

First off, this musical is my problematic fave. Oh dear, it’s such a mess. It is the white savior-est of the white savior stories. Its portrayal of Vietnamese people is awful. It literally upholds the Asian virgin/whore stereotype. It’s the actual worst.

Tell that to 12-year-old me, who picked this soundtrack up right when I was starting to get into musicals, right after Phantom. When you don’t have any media representation that looks vaguely like you, you grab onto what you can.

Lea Salonga, who played the lead role, enchanted me with her voice and her power. She was 18 when she originated the incredibly difficult role in London and then on Broadway, showcasing her impossibly wide vocal range. Beyond being a popular recording artist in the Philippines, Salonga was also the first Asian woman to play a lead role in Les Misérables on Broadway. She is the singing voice behind Disney’s Jasmine and Mulan and she is currently back on Broadway in the original cast of Allegiance. Her voice and her story as Kim in Miss Saigon brought me to adolescent tears, laying on my bed, reading along from the liner notes as I played the double-disc CD.

When I first started becoming friends with my spouse in college, this was one of the musical soundtracks we discovered we both loved. On a car ride to Hamilton College to see Dorothy Allison speak, we put this CD in and belted along to the songs and this was our favorite song. Despite all the reasons it should be problematic, I will always have warm fuzzy feelings for this song and it will always make me think of my love.

Miss Saigon is coming back to Broadway for a revival. I think it should probably stay in its racist past, but I also know that deep in my heart, I am totally going to want to see it again.

Out Tonight from Rent

Mimi. Mimi. Mimi. I know I should have latched onto Joanne and Maureen. I KNOW. And I did. I mean, I loved every character in RENT, every song. RENT was the musical of my teen years. Everyone who went to high school circa 1996-2000 sang “Seasons of Love” in chorus as some point. It was the 90’s. It was the aftermath of the AIDS epidemic. ACT UP and Queer Nation was a little before my time, but RENT was, in many ways, a slightly sanitized version of the radical queer heart of the 90’s. Maureen was the first bisexual character I saw in popular media. Mimi was everything I wanted to be when I grew up, though looking back, I suppose she was supposed to be somewhat of a cautionary tale. It didn’t matter. She was free in ways I wanted to be free and for me, she was 100% about owning your sexuality, owning your body, being shameless. I wanted her and I wanted to be like her.

The movie never quite meant the same to me as the stage version did and as the music did on it’s own. I was a senior in college when the movie came out. Rosario Dawson absolutely killed it in the movie performance (the clip above), but Daphne Rubin-Vega was my one and only true Mimi. I was lucky to see her a few years later as Magenta in the Rocky Horror Picture Show revival and she slayed my heart.

Carrying the Banner from Newsies

This dumb-ass musical about some hot guys who kind of look like dapper lesbians was a staple of my puberty years. My two best friends and I would watch it every weekend, sing all the parts in harmony (sort of). We had Newsies doppelgangers. Cat was Sarah, the hot chick and the only girl in the whole damn show. Heather was Davey, the sensible one who took care of the less sensible ones. I was Racetrack, the funny wise guy. I was always the funny wise guy growing up. The cool friend who my friend’s boyfriends enjoyed hanging with. The funny fat girl Korean sidekick to my white friends who I felt sure had so much more sexual capital than me. I digress. This song is just so fun. I have to admit that I mostly like the movie version of Newsies. I saw the Broadway show and it was… I dunno… too cheesy for me as a stage show. Maybe I just grew up a bit and had a harder time finding myself in it. I don’t know. This song still reminds me of sitting on the floor in Heather’s den, watching this tape and rewinding to watch this song over and over and discussing which dancers were the hottest.

Touch Me from Spring Awakening

I intentionally linked this newer version of “Touch Me” from the 2015 Deaf West revival of Spring Awakening. I saw the Deaf West production twice this past year and I honestly loved it more than the original production, which I also saw on Broadway. In the Deaf West revival, the whole show is performed (not interpreted, performed) in ASL and spoken English, with a half-hearing and half-deaf cast. It brings another layer of intimacy and meaning to the show, which is at its heart about teens being cut off from knowledge and self-autonomy. It’s also historically accurate, as deaf kids were often and still are forced to adapt to oral communication for the comfort of hearing people.

This musical is for millennial misfits what RENT was for my teen years. Spring Awakening is a powerhouse. It’s the musical that launched Lea Michele’s career. It’s about teens rebelling and bursting into their sexuality at a time when adults refuse to listen to them and trust them. It’s still very relevant today. “Touch Me” brings me back to my childhood bedroom, where I privately and guiltily explored the pleasure of my body while being absolutely sure it was wrong and dirty. It’s about that time in your life, whether it is in your teens or after you come out in your later years, when you are aching to be touched, ripping out of your skin, throbbing with desire, and kind of afraid of what giving in to your desires might do do to you, too. It gives me chills every time.

Say It To Me Now from Once

Can you tell that I like emotional power ballads? Actually, I knew my spouse and I were going to be friends for life when I realized we liked all the same belt-it-at-the-top-of-your-lungs musical tracks from all the same musicals. This song is like that moment when you’re with that person you like and you think they like you, too, but neither of you can find the words. And you’re looking down at your hands and wondering if they will touch and hoping, hoping that they will. It’s the moment right before I sloppily kissed my boi on the sweaty dance floor of that drag bar, even though we were both in long-term relationships with other people, even though it was a huge risk, even though I didn’t know if he’d kiss me back. It is the moment just before I took the leap and in my mind there is always two versions of that story, the one that really happened and the one that could have happened if I’d stopped myself before my lips reached his neck.

“This is what you’ve been waiting for…”

---

I could go on forever and ever and ever and ever. I have so many favorites that it’s impossible to put them all here. Let’s keep the mixtape going in the comments. I’d love to hear about your favorite musical tracks and artists and your favorite musical moments. What songs make your heart soar?

Ease on Down the Road with Autostraddle: The Wiz Live! Liveblog and Sing-a-long

Tonight, NBC will bless us, once again, with their annual Live! musical production. It’s The Wiz Live! and it’s gonna’ be so damn good. Honestly, it wouldn’t take much to top NBC’s last two Live! productions, Peter Pan Live! and The Sound of Music Live!. Peter Pan Live! gave us feelings for Allison Williams we really weren’t ready for, but was otherwise awful and kinda’ racist. The Sound of Music Live! was straight up milktoast. But musical theater geeks like me will watch anyway. Especially tonight, because even if The Wiz Live! is silly and over-produced like the last two, it is still going to be effing spectacular.

I mean, look at this flawless, gold star cast!

The original Dorothy in the 1975 broadway production of The Wiz, Stephanie Mills, is playing Auntie Em. Dorothy is newcomer and real talent, Shanice Williams. Glinda the Good Witch and Evilene the Wicked Witch are played by Uzo Aduba and Mary J. Blige, respectively, and good lord, their dresses are incredible! The Wiz, herself, is none other than Queen Latifah, in some sort of David Bowie-ish hair and makeup situation that I’m getting used to. Ne-Yo and Common and David Alan Grier and Amber Riley and Elijah Kelley (who musical nerds might remember from the Hairspray movie) are in the mix, too. Goodness gracious, what an ensemble!

Here’s a sneak peek clip that is giving me life, oh yes:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OVIHBdTuVGc

Oh gosh, look at Mary J. Blige absolutely killing it in this other clip. EXCELLENCE.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rg5yJPZ1nR0

Here’s some behind the scenes action with the stars, oh my:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=97m0soGP1oU

The Wiz opened on Broadway in 1975. It is a retelling, or reclaiming, if you will, of Frank Baum‘s The Wizard of Oz, taking the classic story about home, loss, and finding one self out of rural Kansas and into modern times, with an all-Black cast. The 1975 production won seven Tony awards and is one of the first musicals with an all-Black cast to break through to a mainstream theatre audience. There have only been a handful of Broadway plays or musicals with an all-Black cast since.

According to the most recent 2011-2012 stats from the Asian American Performer’s Action Coalition, white non-hispanic actors occupy 79% of the roles on Broadway. African American performers account for 14% of roles and Latino and Asian performers for 3% each. There is still an urgent need to see Black performers’ in a theatre production that centers and celebrates Black artists. Alaina, my theatre nerd co-host for tonight’s liveblog, recently posted a list of plays they’d like to see recast with Black actors, that really drives home this point. What’s great about The Wiz Live! is that, unlike a Broadway revival (which is slated for the 2016-2017 season, actually), this show is coming into people’s homes on their television via basic cable, accessible to people who can’t typically afford the ticket prices for live theater.

Also, I’m looking forward to some strong female characters. I do like me some strong female characters, as my Netflix recommendations prove. The director of The Wiz Live!, Kenny Leon, says choices were made to make a statement “about the treatment of women” in this version of the show. Dorothy will have an expanded backstory that gives her more depth and direction, as will the female Wiz, a role traditionally cast with a male actor. Leon says, “All of the women in this story, they make their own decisions…men are not speaking for them, and that’s the way it should be anyway.” It is. I’m interested to see how it all plays out.

Alaina and I are going to be right here tonight, singing along and slinging snark and commentary. The liveblog will start at 8 p.m. EST. See you soon!

---

8:00 PM: We are so EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!

Aaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!

— Amber Patrice Riley (@MsAmberPRiley) December 4, 2015

Let's Go. #TheWiz pic.twitter.com/jFVunxw1KM

— Queen Latifah (@IAMQUEENLATIFAH) December 4, 2015

Alaina: I love when Queen Latifah introduces things.

8:02 PM:

Alaina: Real dogs and live theatre, I love it.

8:08 PM:

KaeLyn: Stephanie Mills has still got it. Shit.
Alaina: Camera in the shot #1

8:09 PM:

Alaina: Spooky wind people! Wait this is my favorite part so far!
KaeLyn: I wish they would stick with a camera for more than 1 second.
KaeLyn: Reusing that Peter Pan Live! rig, I see.
Alaina: Gotta get allll the use we can.

8:12 PM:

Alaina: Everyone’s in skirts! I’m into this society.
KaeLyn: MERCEDES!

.@MsAmberPRiley as Addaperle – TONIGHT! #TheWiz https://t.co/Hw2kxRq6YF pic.twitter.com/a6FNIdaZCh

— Just Jared Jr. (@justjaredjr) December 3, 2015

Alaina: I’m in love with her shoes!!
Alaina: I want sushi with Amber Riley!
Alaina: I was her when I was in The Wiz and I feel like we’re really connected
KaeLyn: OMG you are soul twins

8:24 PM:

KaeLyn: “Sometimes the most dangerous things are the most beautiful.” #femmetruth

8:27 PM:

KaeLyn: Can you imagine if this was your acting debut?
KaeLyn: I can’t even.

#TheWiz star Shanice Williams (@LuvbeingShanice) on her "amazing" journey to Oz https://t.co/1SJg93LGPP pic.twitter.com/5nqqHoRUl9

— Variety (@Variety) December 4, 2015

KaeLyn: This was her first NYC audition ever.
Alaina: Like she is KILLING it
Alaina: For the entire United States of America
KaeLyn: LIVE
Alaina: In a really good high def foundation
KaeLyn: She’s going to be like the next Fantasia
KaeLyn: Yes, her skin looks great.
KaeLyn: She could do Clean and Clear commercials next. Or take over for Katy Perry on Proactive duty.

Shanice Williams got me crying. Take us home girl. #TheWiz

— Janet Mock (@janetmock) December 4, 2015

8:30 PM: Did ya’ll know Queen Latifah played Dorothy in her 7th grade production of The Wiz? The Root put together a bunch of cool facts about The Wiz Live cast. Great for commercial break reading!

8:36 PM:

Alaina: the nae nae
Alaina: I love/hate popular culture
KaeLyn: hahahahahaha when does the twerking start?
KaeLyn: actually I’m ready for twerking
KaeLyn: I hope there is twerking
Alaina: PLEASEEE
KaeLyn: What if Big Freedia made a cameo
Alaina: WHAT IF
KaeLyn: AZZ EVERYWHERE, that’s what
Alaina: I just want every queer hip hop artist in NYC to make a cameo
Alaina: MISANDRY

8:40 PM: If you’re not singing along right now, you’re doing it wrong.

#TheWiz making us move like — pic.twitter.com/b17QBGwxVw

— NBC Entertainment (@nbc) December 4, 2015

8:41 PM Commercial break reading: NBC Black interview with Stephanie Mills on being a part of The Wiz, 1975 until now.

8:47 PM:

Alaina: Neyo has a grill because he’s the tin man!
Alaina: Also, this song is about the importance of lube.

You work, @NeYoCompound. #TheWiz pic.twitter.com/o4nK7mswbS

— Vulture (@vulture) December 4, 2015

Did anyone else see Ne-Yo just dab!? #TheWiz

— Cocoa Butter (@cocoabutterbf) December 4, 2015

8:55 PM:

KaeLyn: I love everything so far. #noshade
Alaina: Like, this is a huge improvement from the last two live shows
Alaina: Those were good, but this is SO good!

https://twitter.com/chescaleigh/status/672595007778476032

9:03 PM:

KaeLyn: Don’t give her those shoes?
Alaina: This is not her mom!
KaeLyn: Laser MONKEYS!!!
Alaina: Spooky! This is actually terrifying!
Alaina: She’s jumping in bedazzled heels!

Just remembering that #TheWiz is why I never liked crows or monkeys… or parking garages. :-)

— Melinda Doolittle (@mdoolittle) December 4, 2015

9:09 PM:

Alaina: BUT THESE DANCERS!!!!!
Alaina: It’s like Beyonce Broadway

*waits for poppies to break into “Naughty Girl” by Beyoncé* #TheWiz

— BuzzFeed (@BuzzFeed) December 4, 2015

Alaina: I want to be able to do this and also have someone do this to me
Alaina: So my friends have identified “Thick Poppy” and “Pregnant Poppy”
Alaina: Bodies of all shapes and sizes!

9:11 PM

KaeLyn: Is there really a Wicked ad during this? so meta
KaeLyn: Maybe for all those mad white people
KaeLyn: They can go see Wicked

9:18 PM

KaeLyn: Oh fuck yes
Alaina: Vogue!
Alaina: This is amazing

Alaina: This is an afro futurist dream!
KaeLyn: Does this mean that queers are the evolved class in Oz?
Alaina: Seeing Black bodies on stage being flaunted is a really beautiful thing
Alaina: And omg YES the queer elite

Voguing in the #EmeraldCity Yassss! #TheWiz

— Laverne Cox (@Lavernecox) December 4, 2015

KaeLyn: I love this. I could just watch this scene on repeat for the next hour and a half

Are they Voguing?!!! Ohhhh shit!!!! #blackqueerbrilliance #thewiz #thewizlive

— Carolyn Wysinger (@CDubbTheHost) December 4, 2015

9:17 PM

Alaina: WHAT
Alaina: WHAT THIS IS EVERYTHING
Alaina: BUTCH QUEEN
https://twitter.com/Hey_BlackGirl/status/672603821344866304


Twirl for #TheWiz! @IamQueenLatifah https://t.co/YQs0Nn6Oq6 pic.twitter.com/n3dlw0RxCE

— GIPHY (@GIPHY) December 4, 2015




Queen been WAITING for another reason to look butch in public lmfao #thewiz #thewizlive

— Carolyn Wysinger (@CDubbTheHost) December 4, 2015


Alaina: this costume is amazing! this silver contouring!
Alaina: I really wanna know the makeup artist but I can’t find it online
Alaina: whoever it is did amazing work

The wizard is a BOSS!! Yaaaas @IAMQUEENLATIFAH serve!!!! #TheWizLive

— Patina Miller (@patinamiller) December 4, 2015

yo this is how queen latifah romances the ladiesss #TheWiz

— Gabby Rivera (@QuirkyRican) December 4, 2015

https://twitter.com/KimberlyNFoster/status/672602469818470401
9:36 PM

Yep. He just needs to wear this costume 24/7 #EaseOnDown #TheWizLive https://t.co/Mdm2AK2kDU

— Black Girl Nerds (@BlackGirlNerds) December 4, 2015

https://twitter.com/yemi_isms/status/672605695385161728
9:45 PM

Alaina: This feels like the Activism Song
Alaina: Like, it’s part of the Wiz, but also relevant to life today lol
KaeLyn: #OccupyWeGotIt

Squad up. ✨ #TheWiz pic.twitter.com/SKBQslExxB

— NBC Entertainment (@nbc) December 4, 2015

KaeLyn: Makes sense—this is the new song
KaeLyn: kumbafuckingya
Alaina: “We’re all in this together.”

About to hit the stage! #TheWiz

— Mary J. Blige (@maryjblige) December 4, 2015

9:51 PM

KaeLyn: “All Hail, Evilene!”
KaeLyn: Bow down, bitches!
Alaina: She is KILLING that outfit!

Ooh, Evillene got TOLD. #TheWiz pic.twitter.com/8KheSk4pEC

— NBC Entertainment (@nbc) December 4, 2015

KaeLyn: This is my favorite costume so far.
Alaina: She did her one signature dance move already

All of us when @maryjblige shows up on #TheWiz https://t.co/82rHzKRrxU pic.twitter.com/u5J4GYDED0

— GIPHY (@GIPHY) December 4, 2015

We done went from negro spirituals, tribal, the gay club and church and one hour. Regular ole weekday for black folks.

— prison pants (@LesaMonroe) December 4, 2015

9:57 PM

Alaina: stilts!!
Alaina: All the monkeys have on thongs

10:05 PM:

Alaina: All this natural hair!
KaeLyn: So much excellence. And how many dance steps have we seen so far? the nae nae , dab, vogueing, stepping, the peter pan…


Wait! They stepping?! This is the blackest thing EVER on NBC lmao #thewiz #thewizlive

— Carolyn Wysinger (@CDubbTheHost) December 4, 2015


Alaina: Almost every dance from 2015 in that one!

#TheWiz is breaking my heart wide open. it's gorgeous & glorious. and it highlights the absolute lack of melanin on tv.

— Gabby Rivera (@QuirkyRican) December 4, 2015

Happy Black people on TV makes me happy. 😭😭😭😭 #TheWiz

— Charlene been gone for a while, over on bsky now (@CharleneCac) December 4, 2015

95% of Black households watching #TheWiz #TheWizLive at this moment like… pic.twitter.com/1M3XdURBmL

— HipHopWired (@HipHopWired) December 4, 2015

10:13 PM Straddler, @hollisb, killing it in the comments!

10:17 PM: YAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSS!!!!
https://twitter.com/AudraEqualityMc/status/672615986445598720
10:18 PM:

KaeLyn: “All these years later, hiding in the dark.” Yuuuup. #nationalcomingoutday

They're telling #TheWiz to come out of the closet. Is this what they call "meta"?

— Mary’s Moon Maiden (@ChrissiePrissy) December 4, 2015

https://twitter.com/JMac_SOsweet/status/672617033050161152

I am so here for these close ups of greased edges. #TheWiz

— Jessica (J.A.M.) Aiwuyor 💫 (@JAMAiwuyor) December 4, 2015

10:29 PM:

KaeLyn: Why does she look like she’s going to have a walk-on on Law and Order now?
KaeLyn: I mean, it’s fine
Alaina: Right?
Alaina: like
Alaina: Yeezy 2016 line with a scarf from Kohls

Now Queen got on her Sunday church suit?? Mannnnnn lmao #thewiz #thewizlive

— Carolyn Wysinger (@CDubbTheHost) December 4, 2015

10:31:

KaeLyn: BLESS US
Alaina: BLESS US ALL

https://twitter.com/broadway_buzz/status/672619647645196289

Alaina: Her crown is her hair!
Alaina: “SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!”
Alaina: Yes she is
Alaina: This show is hers. She just stole the whole show

Now THAT is an entrance! @UzoAduba #TheWiz pic.twitter.com/oSO0rI6kZb

— Us Weekly (@usweekly) December 4, 2015

https://twitter.com/jmjafrx/status/672622621075365888

KaeLyn: Remember when they wouldn’t let Suzanne be in the play on OITNB
Alaina: And look at her now!
KaeLyn: She got hers!

One good witch should have all that power. #TheWiz pic.twitter.com/lGRMRRWTcB

— NBC Entertainment (@nbc) December 4, 2015

10:38:

Alaina: It’s coming
Alaina: It’s coming
Alaina: I’m so ready

Bring it home, @LuvbeingShanice! #TheWiz pic.twitter.com/K27fgMsBSH

— NBC Entertainment (@nbc) December 4, 2015

KaeLyn: This girl is insanely good
KaeLyn: She’s 18!
Alaina: No way!!
Alaina: What am i doing with my life
KaeLyn: No I lied she’s 19
Alaina: BUT STILL
Alaina: She’s a baby! and is KILLING IT
KaeLyn: OK Conflicting sources. She’s either 18 or 19. Either way, she is basically a CHILD.
Alaina: OMG!
Alaina: Toto came back!
KaeLyn: I was wondering if we’d ever see Toto again

Final Thoughts:

Alaina: I loved it! It was really beautiful.
Alaina: It felt really important, too, in a way I didn’t know it would!
Alaina: I love seeing Black actors working and all the focus on natural hair and Black styles…it was great!
KaeLyn: I agree! Every bullshit argument about not being able to find enough Black talent for more diverse casting was just blown out of the water. It was excellence in every way. It was so real.
KaeLyn: I cried three times.
KaeLyn: I am just so happy that families all over the US watched this tonight, that kids saw this. And there was such a diversity of bodies and people and they didn’t shy away from gender-bending or frank sexuality and it felt so damn good.
KaeLyn: Like, TV could be this way if we wanted it, if we really, really wanted it.
Alaina: Tonight was really important. Everything is so sad all the time, and sometimes it’s important to just see black people being excellent in an excellent musical.

I MAY OR MAY NOT BE CRYING i haven't had this much #BlackJoy in one sitting in a loooooooong time. my soul needed this #TheWiz #TheWizLive

— Liza Sabater 🇵🇷👸🏾🌹 (@blogdiva) December 4, 2015

hey, Black people: we're talented. and resilient. and we shine. we dope. and artistic. I really do love us.

— huny young (@huny) December 4, 2015

What did ya’ll think? Put it in the comments!

“Fun Home” Made History Last Night and This Is Entirely About That

On the evening of June 7th, The Tony Awards were broadcast into a whole bunch of homes via teevee.

On the evening of June 7th, history was made when Lisa Kron and Jeanine Tesori became the first entirely female writing team to win for book and score; when Sydney Lucas sang “Ring of Keys” to theatre enthusiasts across America; when the only show ever on Broadway about a butch lesbian won Best Musical. Fun Home took five total Tony Awards: Michael Cerveris won for best actor in a musical, Sam Gold won best director of a musical, and Jeanine Tesori and Lisa Kron KILLED IT as previously mentioned.

On the evening of June 7th, I sobbed uncontrollably on my couch, refreshing my Twitter feed and various live blogs because this is a day I legitimately never anticipated.

---

Fun Home is a show about memory; about writing memoir. There is no such thing as truth when human beings are involved: everything is wilting flowers and a writer (or a cartoonist) is constantly grabbing at thoughts and events that decay so much faster than we expect them to. I had the opportunity to see Fun Home, a musical based on the graphic memoir by Alison Bechdel, before it opened. They invited every lesbian in New York that has ever written words, I think. No expectations attached. We wound up sitting next to friends we hadn’t seen in a while (queers) and we screamed when we saw them squeeze past knees to sit in the two empty seats adjacent. But I digress. Which is perhaps appropriate, given the show is a show about memory. Digressions become the story.

I was, oddly enough in retrospect, worried the show wouldn’t pass The Bechdel Test. I’ve just become so accustomed to Broadway’s particular brand of misogyny — one which we all know and excuse, one which hasn’t stopped me from loving Broadway — that I couldn’t imagine any other kind of show. I was worried even though Fun Home originally opened at the Public, off-broadway; even though Lisa Kron did the book and lyrics; even though Jeanine Tesori wrote the music; even though it’s based on Alison Bechdel’s memoir in comics and that the book certainly passes. That’s how strong the flower-fication is with Broadway.

The show passes, of course it does, it has to, the show is centered on the character of Alison Bechdel. Three extraordinary people play Alison at various points in her life—Small Alison (Sydney Lucas) paints us a picture of childhood; Middle Alison (Emily Skeggs) is going to college (and coming out in college); Alison at age 43 (Beth Malone) is trying to string all the flowers together, to find the inbetweens that are memory. Not only does Fun Home have a named female character who talks to another named female character about something other than a man, it has a woman so dynamic and multifaceted that it takes three actors to play her. Watching someone harmonize with oneself, reverberating through the past and the future, is the closest thing I’ve ever seen to the experience of memory in performance.

My name is Alison, too, and I’m not the same person I was when I was Small Alison. I’m not even the same person I was five years ago, as Middle Alison; no one is.

---

I found reminders of who I used to be when I reread the book before seeing the show—not just in memories (which are never to be trusted), but in the physical evidence. Like when I discovered I’d left a streak of blood at the bottom of page 14, despite having promised myself that I’d resist my typical urge to gnaw at my cuticles while reading this time, and then realized that the streak was dry. I’d bled on it five years ago, back in 2010.

In the middle of the chapter titled “In The Shadow of Young Girls in Flower” (borrowed from Marcel Proust with his tea-soaked madeleine memory), I found a leaf.

“Look at this!” I said to my fiancée Abby.

“You don’t remember that?”

“Not at all.” It wasn’t surprising—I have a memory like a wiffle ball.

“I found it there when I was reading your copy—I showed it to you. It’s from when you first read it, I think.”

Right! Yes, I’d been sitting on a stone bench in a grey henley outside Scott Hall, for once actually washed, dried and groomed because I had a raging crush on Professor A, the first masculine-of-center queer woman I’d seen regularly with my own eyeballs since coming out. A leaf fell into my book, like something that would happen in a stock photo.

I first read Fun Home while taking Professor A’s creative writing class at Rutgers University. I was twenty-two. The pages were xeroxed because it was a 101 class and we couldn’t be trusted to purchase anything. I don’t remember which chapter was assigned, but after reading it, I immediately went out and bought the whole thing.

I was newly out, newly heartbroken and newly back from Paris. I had newly beaten my disordered eating (sort of—at least I was putting food in my mouth again) and despite having cut a full two feet off my hair, I still managed to look like a cast member from the musical Hair— still soft like petals in the eyes, patchouli-scented, earnest and often reading in the grass. I still thought I was going to be an actress forever and I was about to graduate with a degree in theatre.

It was an exciting time full of great change; I was panicking. This is how I was, as Middle Alison.

My problems were tiny buds in comparison to those of Alison Bechdel’s. Her problems were in full bloom. I devoured the book in a time where I was barely eating, when I was trying so hard to be girly — I don’t do that now. I am now what so many women fear becoming: a masculine woman with short hair and a perpetual button down shirt. The leaf fell in the shadow of the young girl in flower and it stayed there. I probably hoped Professor A would pass by and see me reading it. I was probably wearing tie-dye under that grey henley. I was probably still wickedly skinny, pitching my voice higher and trying to laugh softly. Femininity was important, especially as an actress.

One of the last images in this chapter is young Alison as she sees a butch woman for the first time — her father, Bruce Bechdel, asks her if that’s what she wants to look like. It is a question loaded with shame, as most girlhoods are. She lies, “no.”

Five years ago, the panel struck me. But it didn’t reach me. It’s been a journey. Middle Alison didn’t recognize the message: this is you, this was you, this will be you. This is how you will look; you will look this gay. Alison today can’t figure out how she didn’t: the professor was a masculine of center woman; the leaf fell on these pages in particular; she (me) was so uncomfortable in her (my) body because it was undesirable for theatre and she (I) sought out this book when it called. Christ, I even share the author’s name, which has the curious effect of convincing me that all the characters are speaking directly to me, through the pages and into my world. That was me, but I couldn’t see it yet.

A different person would certainly have to play me, were this a musical of my life. I went from straining to be a flower-child in a flower press to comfortably taking up space in the men’s department; getting my hair cut with clippers; laughing like a barking dog instead of like a sighing plant, making noise only because it was moved by the wind. Now, people call me “sir” and get flustered when I open my mouth and sound a lot more like Glinda the Good Witch than they expected. But I don’t mind. I’m Alison, now. And I recognize just how damn hard it is to be Middle Alison.

---

Perhaps saying “no” to masculinity wasn’t a lie. I wanted to be an actress, and actresses who are masculine don’t work. There are no roles for masculine woman. There are barely roles for women who take up space. So it wasn’t that I’d never seen a butch woman before these pages and didn’t know that masculinity was possible in women. It just didn’t occur to me that it was a possibility for me. So I kept trying to fit my body into clothes and plays that weren’t made for it.

There is a lot right about theatre culture, but there’s a lot wrong with it too—I felt the pressure, and when I was unhealthy-skinny I got cast so much more. Small is feminine, said the numbers to me. Broadway musical theatre was never meant to grow roles for women other than those of delicate flowers.

In the days leading up to seeing Fun Home at Circle in the Square, I tried to think of Broadway roles for masculine-of-center women in musicals. I’m no theatre historian, but I’ve taken so many Theatre History classes that knowledge has fallen on me like so many watermelon seeds, spit from the mouths of those who know better than I; they took root and planted jazz-hands in my heart forever.

And I could think of only one role: Shirley, from The Producers. She sings one phrase (“keep it gay”); she is fat, speaks in a humping voice with her thumbs in her tool belt; she’s a punch line, held up against the glamorous (feminine) gay men.

I’m not a person who gets upset with jokes made at my expense—I see nothing inherently wrong with Shirley in The Producers. To any person who’s spent time in technical theatre, that joke is about the business and the stereotypes therein (many lesbian electricians). But with an average audience, this subtlety might be reduced to laughing at a manly dyke. A woman who takes up space. Even so, I have no issue with it. My beef is that it’s the only role I can think of.

If I stretch real hard, I can include Joanne from Rent. But I have to stand on my tip toes to come close on that one — she is a lesbian, and androgynous, but not masculine. If I reach around in the other direction, I can include Peter Pan — but that character is a boy and I’ve reached too far again.

Maybe I’m forgetting someone, but that’s not really the issue, even though memory is the star of the show. The issue is that, whether the role exists or not, I couldn’t access it.

When I quit theatre, I was allowed to change; I didn’t have to reach, to contort, to shrink, to press. I didn’t have to bloom into a flower. But listen, here’s the point: if I had stuck with acting, to the point where I was maybe really good, or even great, and I auditioned for anything on Broadway there would only be one role for me to play. And that role didn’t exist when I left.

That’s why it’s hard to be Middle Alison, trying to figure out who you are in a culture where no mirrors reflect you. That’s why it’s hard to be Small Alison, and reach your roots into soil without having all the information.

---

When Beth Malone stepped onto the stage as Alison Bechdel on the night I first saw Fun Home, I wept. I cried for almost the entirety of the performance. I tell you this because I missed things. I might have missed a connection, the stability of a lyric, the soft scent of a leitmotif sprouting. Such delicacies might have gone under-appreciated with tears and snot running down my face.

The only thing I could see in front of me was me. Even with our lives so vastly different, this was the mirror I never had in the place I wanted it most five years ago. I can blame the tears on the uncanny coat of pollen that is the personal intersection with a piece of art; I am allergic to something I’ve never been exposed to before and it feels so good. I could curl up in the shadow of this tree forever.

I saw myself in Malone’s portrayal of Alison—a walk with legs far apart, leaning forward; a tee-shirt and jeans; short, short hair. And I saw myself as a writer there, too— pen always between her fingers as she gestured, and toward the end of the musical frantically trying to draw things out as they vanished from her memory. Malone captured the experience of flowers dying in her hands: “What’s this? ‘Table in the living room with / jack in the pulpit.’ Oh. Oh. I was going / to draw that in this panel.” Oh. Oh. Why am I crying again at this musical? I can’t quite remember.

I saw myself in Small Alison, too. The song “Ring of Keys” illustrates the moment where Alison sees the butch woman for the first time. I knew what was coming when the clank and noise of the diner began and I grabbed my fiancée’s hand, expectantly. It opens with Small Alison arguing with her father, as she has been the whole show, about wearing a barrette. He argues the barrette can suitably function to keep her hair out of her eyes.

“So would a crewcut,” Small Alison replies. It was a song about desire sung by a child; not sexual, but physical. The desire to know, to understand. To find one’s reflection in a sea of people not like you. I understand that—every gay person understands that. It’s not a song I ever thought I’d see on Broadway, a song about seeing yourself in adulthood (“It’s prob’ly conceited to say / But I think we’re alike in a certain way,” she sings), for finding a woman “handsome.” That is how I was, as Small Alison.

And it was just broadcast during The Tony Awards.

And Middle Alison. Gosh. Middle Alison. We get to see Middle Alison realize her first crush, on a woman called Joan (Roberta Colindrez). We see the first time they have sex, the aftermath — Middle Alison sings that she’s changing her major to Joan, still in white underwear and socks. Joan remains asleep as Middle Alison whisper-trills, “So by the time you’ve woken up / I’ll be cool, I’ll be collected / And I’ll have found some dignity / But who needs dignity? / ‘Cause this is so much better.” I remember stepping into the hallway in my underwear, bare feet on cold tile, after I slept with my version of Joan and jumping around. I was confused but optimistic and I liked it. That is how I was, as Middle Alison.

They were all there, all together, all singing, all occupying the same space on the stage. All these Alisons who are one person. Broadway grew up. Broadway presented everything in a woman that it had been distilled to laugh at. The show already made history without the Tony Awards. And then.

Tonight, this kind of representation was awarded. Tony history was made with the first all-female team winning for best score — women take up space with their songs and stories. Children who saw Sydney Lucas sing might have found a mirror; every gay adult found a mirror for the kid they once were. Actresses who might have otherwise sent themselves through the flower press can point to this musical and say, there. There. It is the Best Musical. For once in our damn lives, something made for mainstream labeled the masculine queer woman as “best.”

---

This is a show about memory. If singing with yourself works backwards, could it work forwards too? Since my Middle Alison and my Small Alison live in me though they are long gone, does that mean they saw this? I’d have to assume yes—that they took note of the remarkable resemblance between Joan and the woman who broke our hearts back then; that they know we have a song to belt out while doing the dishes that does not require the suspension of our own disbelief; they can see we quit acting for so many reasons, and that if this show — the only show about a masculine-of-center lesbian on Broadway ever — had won a Tony back then, that would have been one less reason. One more road sign. One more way we could have seen ourselves in the world while we were panicking. It is so hard to be Middle Alison, to be Small Alison, but I think they feel better, somehow.

I would’ve saved so much time I lost in searching. But mostly, I think, my Alisons are excited to feel the cartoon tap tap on her wrist and the un-shy, un-floral and unabashed belted song: “I think we’re alike in a certain way.” Tonight, the theatre world just told us they know us. They sang it to us. Thank you, Alison Bechdel. Thank you, Fun Home.

“It Shoulda Been You” Is Heartwarming, Relevant To Your Interests

feature image via shutterstock

---

If you’re going to see a show on Broadway this season, go see “Fun Home,” the much talked about, Tony nominated play that Kaitlyn promises will remind you how hard it is to understand who we are. That’s a no-brainer. However, if you’re going to see two shows on Broadway, I strongly recommend “It Shoulda Been You,” the hilarious and heartwarming musical that opened in style on April 14. Because y’all: this show is highly relevant to your interests.

At first glance, “It Shoulda Been You” doesn’t seem like anything special. The first half of the hour-and-forty-minute long musical follows the wacky pre-wedding hijinks and relatively minor obstacles standing in the way of a seemingly picture perfect different-sex couple wanting to get married. The jokes all tread well worn comedic ground. For example, there’s deluge of one-liners from family members who object to the impending Jewish/Christian wedding — a storyline which harkens back to the 1922 hit “Abie’s Irish Rose,” still the third longest running play on Broadway. It’s well done, but simply by nature of the material, it’s nothing to write home about.

Yet a little over halfway through, an unexpected twist sends the expected story careening off the rails. I don’t want to spoil it for you, so I’ll just tell you this: I wish I brought tissues. Much to my surprise, I felt a deep emotional investment by the time they got to what the play is really about. I started crying as I watched the bride — played by Sierra Boggess of Russian Broadway Shut Down and a variety of much beloved Broadway shows — steel herself before sharing some very important personal information with her mother. My cheeks were not dry again until well after curtain call had ended.

Directed by David Hyde Pierce (who you probably know as Dr. Niles Crane on Frasier) with book and lyrics by Brian Hargrove (a television writer and Hyde Pierce’s husband), there’s definitely a sitcom-y influence that shines through. The jokes are more suitably described as “safe” than “clever” or “legitimately hilarious;” at times, you’d almost swear you could hear the echo of a laugh track being piped in. Characters are given all the depth of a sterling silver punch bowl, and in spite of the spectacular twist at the end, we don’t see an awful lot of growth. Although many critics panned the play for these reasons, I really appreciated it. To my mind, the stereotypical setup served as a rather aggressively normalizing backdrop. This play never would have made it in the time of “Abie’s Irish Rose;” to be honest, I’m not even sure it could have been done 10 years ago.

Regardless of any shortcomings in the script, the production more than makes up for it with its cast. Receiving top billing in this show are Broadway veterans Tyne Daly (of Cagney and Lacey, who publicly campaigned against Prop 8) and Harriet Harris (Desperate Housewives and “Standing on Ceremony: The Gay Marriage Plays“), whose impeccable comedic timing carried the entire first half of the play. “Jenny’s Blues,” sung by powerhouse Lisa Howard as the sister of the bride, was an absolute showstopper. And Montego Glover of Memphis (who performed at the Trevor Project’s TrevorLIVE last year) was hilarious too, even if her character was sadly underused.

Almost all of the action in this play revolves around women and their relationships, but if you care, there were also some men in the play that I didn’t find annoying! Notably: the wonderful Edward Hibbert (an out and proud actor and veteran of 11 seasons of Frasier), David Burtka (aka Neil Patrick Harris’s husband), and Josh Grisetti (Rent).

---

“It Shoulda Been You” is currently playing at the Brooks Atkinson Theatre.  For tickets and information, visit itshouldabeenyou.com.

Girls Have Feelings in Eve Ensler’s “Emotional Creature” Off-Broadway

Eve Ensler changed the world with The Vagina Monologues, her stage show based on interviews with women from around the world discussing their bodies, sexuality and the violence they have encountered in their lives. Since its inception in 1996, the play has been performed in thousands of cities from NYC to Cairo and was the inspiration for V-Day, a global activist movement to combat violence against women and girls.

Today, Ensler expands her voice for women and girls with Emotional Creature: the secret life of girls around the world, a musical theatre piece based on her 2010 bestselling book that chronicles what it is to be a teenage girl through a series of new stories, songs, dance and monologues,obvs. The multi-ethnic cast comprised of six talented actresses (Ashley Bryant, Molly Carden, Emily Grosland, Joaquina Kalukango, Sade Namei and Olivia Oguma) more than hold the stage as they each morph into different personalities across a variety of countries and cultures over the course of 90 minutes. The issues are all over the place, ranging Facebook profile pic obsession, to body image and eating disorders, to sex and abortion in a religious family.  In an early memorable and lively scene a girl recounts how her parents made her “fix” the protruding nose she was born and content with. Later, a young woman in the Congo confesses in a series of showstopping scenes how she coped and maintained spirit while being forced into sexual slavery. There’s a bit of emotional whiplash, but this is an Eve Ensler script after all and the overall feeling of community among women is palpable.

Playlist: Filling Out the Form

So you are filling out job applications, medical forms, changing your address on every account you possess, applying to the Peace Corps or any number of things that require you to write the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. Here is your playlist. It is meant to lift you out of the tedium and at least one song is actually about filling out a form. This playlist is set up to mimic the arch of feelings you have when you go from starting your first form to finishing your fifth: where you don’t care about your Bad Reputation because whatever Lola wants, Lola gets. No worries, you’re gonna Razzle Dazzle ’em. Boom Boom Pow, we got this and it feels like the end! And then Mamma Mia, here we go again, let’s fill out essentially the same things on the next form. Then we have to keep our eyes on the goal and Find Your Grail even when we think we’re Totally F*****; and don’t forget to remind yourself that It Get’s Better and that it’s only For Now. I’m sure someone somewhere is filling out something gay and could use a little drag queen music (seriously, guys, this is where my true self is revealed. Not even I knew how many show tunes I owned. I’m essentially a gay man in a queer-lady body.)

Good luck, homo-gays! I Say A Little Prayer For You.

Filling Out the Form

[STREAM THE PLAYLIST HERE]

Filling Out the Form – Original Cast Recording Title of Show
Toxic – Britney Spears
Bad Reputation – Film Dialogue, Shrek Soundtrack
Whatever Lola Wants, Lola Gets – the cast of Damn Yankees
Wannabe – Spice Girls
Razzle Dazzle – James Naughton and the cast of Chicago
Hollaback Girl – Gwen Stefani
Boom Boom Pow – Black Eyed Peas
Mamma Mia – Siobhan McCarthy and the cast of Mamma Mia!
Find Your Grail – Sara Ramirez and the cast of Spamalot
Totally F***** – Jonathan Groff and the cast of Spring Awakening
It Gets Better – Rebecca Drysdale
I Say A Little Prayer For You – Aretha Franklin
For Now – The Cast of Avenue Q

Filling Out the Form from Autostraddle on 8tracks Radio.

Tell me your favorite tracks that help you deal with form filling out tedium below.

Want to suggest a playlist theme? Hit Crystal up on Formspring and someone on the team will make it for you.

‘5 Lesbians Eating a Quiche’ is Theatre of the Absurd in New York City

5 Lesbians Eating a Quiche is the legit title of a little off-off Broadway show now playing at the Soho Playhouse in New York City after a successful run at the NYC Fringe Festival last summer.

The plot goes something like this: It is 1956 and somewhere in middle America the “widows” of the Susan B. Anthony Society for the Sisters of Gertrude Stein (played by  Caitlin Chuckta, Rachel Farmer, Megan Johns, Thea Lux, and Maari Suorsa) are having their annual quiche breakfast. Why quiche? Well, as the leader of the society tells the audience, “The egg is as close to the Lord Jesus as a piece of food can get.” Everything is peachy until an atomic bomb hits and all of a sudden the women are facing possible starvation with all but one of the quiches locked on the outside of a self-sealing door.

Although 5 Lesbians Eating a Quiche feels like an extended Saturday Night Live sketch, it somehow manages to be simultaneously absurdest parody, socially conscious, touching and totally original. It also is darkly comic as the characters parody the stereotypes of repressed 1950s women, literally taking a nuclear attack to force the ladies into coming out to themselves and each other. The playwrights (oddly, two men) have an interesting way of desensitizing the word “lesbian,” with randomly chosen male and female audience members declaring “I’m a lesbian” from their seats in the final minutes of the show. I told you it’s weird, but worth it.

5 Lesbians is running at the Soho Playhouse through November 20. I guarantee you will never look at a quiche the same way again.

 

Frenchie Davis Bisexual: Broadway “Idol” Has “The Voice,” A Girlfriend

Last week, singer Frenchie Davis told St.Louis Post-Dispatch that she has been in a lady-loving relationship with another lady for about a year: “I wasn’t out before the relationship, but I wasn’t in. I dated men and women, though lesbians weren’t feeling the bisexual thing. Now I’m in love with a woman I think I can be with forever.”

well i guess the cat’s out of the bag…or should i say closet?….

— Frenchie Davis (@frenchiedavis) June 21, 2012

The 33-year-old graduate of Howard University’s musical theater program was speaking to The Dispatch in anticipation of her gig at PrideFest St.Louis — one of three Pride ceremonies on her schedule last weekend. “I make my rounds,” she said. “The gay community is my most loyal fan base. Whenever an opportunity presents itself, I jump at it.”

Frenchie attested that she’s been immersed in the gay community since forever — her closest friends in college were LGBT and her favorite professor was a gay guy who took Frenchie to drag clubs: “I love the gays. I love the gay boys. They have that awesome, masculine energy, but there’s also something else going on as well.”

If you’re not already familiar with this rising star’s career, we’re here to help.

+

Frenchie Davis 101

1) American Idol, Season Two

The powerhouse vocalist seemed like a shoo-in for Idol‘s final round. She wowed Randy, Simon & Paula at auditions with “And I Am Telling You…” and was unanimously voted into the semi-finals in Hollywood.

At that point, facing piles of paperwork and prospective background checks, Frenchie thought it best to come forward and let the producers know that as a 19-year-old, she’d taken some racy photographs but “that’s not the person I am [anymore].” She remembers that “we talked about it and then nothing happened.”

Until two months later, when she was told that her participation on the program would be “inappropriate.” Frenchie: “They had decided that because American Idol was a family show, that they could not have me on the show because of the pictures I had taken – though they had never seen the pictures.”

Here’s the rub: nobody on the Idol team ever even saw the photos. Not one person! The website they were posted on no longer existed. They kicked her out for being upfront and honest about a potential problem that wasn’t even a problem. Even if the pictures did exist, kicking her out over that is intensely shitty.

So when season six’s Antonella Barba was allowed to participate despite numerous “provocative photos” uncovered of her, Frenchie was like, “Really?“

Najee Ali, Project Islamic H.O.P.E. activist said: “It’s obvious that it’s a racial bias… when you have a situation where a black contestant is punished and a similar situation happens to a white contestant and there is no punishment and they’re allowed to continue on the show.” Rosie O’Donnell said on The View that she believed the discrepency was motivated by racism.

Frenchie’s take on it: “I couldn’t help but notice the difference between the manner in which she was dealt with and how I was dealt with…. I think it’s fantastic if Idol has evolved, and I think it’s fantastic she won’t have to go through what I went through four years ago … but if the rules have changed, I believe there should be something to make up for the fact that I was humiliated needlessly.”

2) Broadway

But whatever to all that as Frenchie’s had an amazing Broadway career since then. Frenchie starred in RENT on Broadway for four years. She played Effie for the Dreamgirls national tour and also appeared in the Ain’t Misbehavin’ national tour as well as European productions of Little Shop of Horrors and Jesus Christ Superstar.

+

3) The Voice

Frenchie made it onto The Voice in 2011, auditioning with “I Kissed a Girl” and snagging a spot on Team Christina Aguilera. Blake Shelton, an apparently famous man who sings songs, told Frenchie she was “the most powerful singer in this competition.”  She finished fifth overall. Another queer, lesbian singer Vicci Martinez, placed third.

+

4) Her Voice

Frenchie is currently putting together her first album and continues touring — she’ll be at the Lexington Fairness Dinner and Cincinnati Pride next weekend after a summer peforming at a billion prides: Los Angeles Pride, Long Island Pride, Rhode Island Pride, Portland Pride Block Party, Chicago PrideFest, St.Louis Pride, Utah Pride, Santa Barbra Pride and Miami Pride.

In conclusion, we’ve got another strong, talented, beautiful woman on Team Gay. What’s especially special about all this is that somehow this news broke last week, and despite the fact that I literally spend 12 hours a day on the internet and the gay internet specifically, I missed this until today. As Entertainment Weekly promises to explain in their print issue this week, we’re entering a new area of ‘casual’ coming out situations. Who knows who else might turn up gay by the end of the summer!

Playlist: Tony Award Musical Nominees 2012

Tony Award season is upon us! In less than two weeks, the American Theatre Wing will hand out a bunch of statues to a bunch of really good-looking people who danced and sang better than anyone else did this year! I love the Tonys, and despite not living in New York and having seen exactly zero of the nominated shows this season and not actually caring about who wins, I am absolutely watching the awards. I’m a sucker for a good musical number, and Neil Patrick Harris hosting doesn’t hurt either.

So here’s a playlist of some of the notable songs from some of the nominated musicals this year. Not all of the nominees have released cast albums yet, so some of these tracks are demos or ripped from live performances, but they’ll all give you enough fuel to whine about whoever eventually wins. That’s what’s really important here.

Tony Nominees 2012 [on 8tracks]

Falling Slowly – Once (11 nominations)
Carrying The Banner – Newsies (8 nominations)
Santa Fe – Newsies
How ’bout a Dance – Bonnie & Clyde (2 nominations)
Don’t Cry For Me Argentina – Evita (3 nominations)
Summertime – Porgy and Bess (10 nominations)
Someone To Watch Over Me – Nice Work If You Can Get It (10 nominations)
Step Into The Light/Leap of Faith – Leap of Faith (1 nomination)
The God-Why-Don’t-You-Love-Me Blues – Follies (8 nominations)
Could I Leave You? – Follies
If The World Should End – Spider-Man Turn Off The Dark (2 nominations)
I’m Outta Here – Ghost the Musical (3 nominations)
Superstar – Jesus Christ Superstar (2 nominations)
Give It Up – Lysistrata Jones (1 nomination)

The Tony Awards are on June 10 at 8 p.m. EST on CBS! I requested off work. That’s how excited I am.

Want to suggest a playlist theme? Hit Crystal up on Formspring and someone on the team will make it for you.

6 Bizarre Barbra Streisand Performances That Are Weirdly Endearing

Barbra Streisand is a powerhouse. Her rendition of “Don’t Rain On My Parade” made Funny Girl a show worth watching and gave Lea Michele something worth covering at the Tony Awards. Also, say what you want about Carol Channing, but Barbra owns Hello Dolly!. Some people even like Yentl, probably.

There’s a reason why every thrift store has at least four different Barbra Streisand records: because she’s ridiculously talented and record players are way too expensive for non-hipsters. I have nothing but respect for her. That being said, you can’t be in the business as long as she has without having moments that seems strange in retrospect. So happy belated 70th birthday, Babs. Here are some awkward things you were a part of.

“I’m Five” and “Sweet Zoo”

This is actually one of my all-time favorite Barbra performances. “My Name Is Barbra” was her first television special, and you should definitely watch the whole thing if you get a chance, but this is my favorite part. It’s just so madcap and strange and wonderful, it’s hard to dislike. Sidenote, this is also the special that gave the world “People.”

Color Me Barbra

Barbra on the TV, Special #2: Now with animals!

A Star Is Born

This video is 1976, and it’s not sorry about it.

The Belle of 14th Street

I feel like the general concept of this video is “Barbra being Barbra and also vaudeville!,” and it kind of works, but it mostly gives me second-hand awkwardness.

You’ll Never Walk Alone

I would give you context if I had it. I feel like somewhere, someone’s good idea went horribly wrong.

“Tell Him” with Celine Dion

When she was 21, Barbra recorded a duet with Judy Garland, and it was basically flawless, and eventually Glee covered it, so I think we could call that one a success. This video, however, is a totally different story. It’s like they had a meeting and decided that they’d be harder to impersonate if they were singing together.

Ok, tell me all about your Barbra feelings!

Playlist: Women Write Musical Theater Songs Sometimes

Because of the patriarchy, there are significantly more men who write musical theater than women. This Tony season, for instance, didn’t include any eligible shows with music by women. Not even Spider-Man. Harumph.

To celebrate the successful women composers and lyricists and to keep myself from getting too depressed about it, my genius friend Drew (“Jeanine Tesori is boss enough for all of them”) and I put together a pretty thorough list of musical theater songs with lyrics and/or music by women. It was a lot more difficult that either of us were expecting, which is unfortunate on several levels. This is by no means a comprehensive playlist; for example, songs from Quilters and Grind could also be here, but it’s easier to pretend that 1985 didn’t exist on Broadway and also they’re really terrible. Anyway!

Women Write Musical Theater Songs Sometimes [on 8tracks]

1. Forget About the Boy – Thoroughly Modern Millie (music by Jeanine Tesori)
2. Lot’s Wife – Caroline, or Change (music by Jeanine Tesori)
3. Run Away With Me – The Unauthorized Autobiography of Samantha Brown (lyrics by Kait Kerrigan)
4. Taylor, The Latte Boy (music by Zina Goldrich, lyrics by Marcy Heisler)
5. Paw Paw Michigan – Dear Edwina (music by Zina Goldrich, lyrics by Marcy Heisler)
6. Shy – One Upon A Mattress (music by Mary Rodgers)
7. We Just Had Sex – Passing Strange (music partially by Heidi Rodewald)
8. Mama Will Provide – Once On This Island (lyrics by Lynn Ahrens)
9. New Music – Ragtime (lyrics by Lynn Ahrens)
10. Show Off – The Drowsy Chaperone (music and lyrics partially by Lisa Lambert)
11. Step to the Rear – How Now, Dow Jones (lyrics by Carolyn Leigh)
12. I’d Be Delighted – Little Women (lyrics by Mindi Dickstein)
13. New York, New York – On The Town (lyrics partially by Betty Comden)
14. Ohio – Wonderful Town (lyrics partially by Betty Comden)
15. Just This One Time (Reprise) – The Battery’s Down (lyrics by Kait Kerrigan)
(Haviland Stillwell sings this song)
16. Best Summer Ever – Bunked! A Camp Musical (lyrics partially by Alaina Kunin)
17. Nobody Does It Like Me – Seesaw (lyrics by Dorothy Fields)
18. What About Love? – The Color Purple (music and lyrics partially by Brenda Russell & Allee Willis)
19. Exiled – A Girl Called Vincent (music by Carmel Dean, lyrics by Edna St. Vincent Millay)
20. Get Out And Stay Out – 9 to 5: The Musical (music and lyrics by Dolly Parton)
21. Eyes Wide Open – The Battery’s Down (lyrics partially by Kirsten Guenther)
22. Lullaby From Baby To Baby – Runaways (music and lyrics by Elizabeth Swados)
23. Oh, Look at Me – Salad Days (lyrics partially by Dorothy Reynolds)
24. The Bull-Frog Patrol – She’s A Good Fellow (lyrics by Anne Caldwell)

Add your favorite lady-written theater tracks in the comments below! Also, how excited are you for Jeanine Tesori and Lisa Kron to adapt Fun Home into a musical! Because I am excited enough to sneak it into this article!

Want to suggest a playlist theme? Hit Crystal up on Formspring and someone on the team will make it for you.

Playlist: Broadway Breaks Your Heart

Sorry, one foray into theater-geekdom was clearly not enough. We return with a playlist of Broadway’s most stirring ballady situations, the songs that make your heart feel things like pain, loss, hope, hope against all odds, grief and love. I recommend this playlist for long drives in the rain or any time that you feel like really just wrapping yourself in a blanket of multi-colored dorkiness. Like Rachel Berry and Kurt Hummel as twelve-year-olds at a sleepover. Are you with me?

I Dreamed a Dream (Les Misérables)
Close Every Door (Joseph & The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat)
Origin of Love (Hedwig and the Angry Inch)
The Letter (Billy Elliot)
Without You (Rent)
21 Guns (American Idiot)
Touch Me (Spring Awakening)
Maybe/Tomorrow (Annie)
Defying Gravity (Wicked)
The Movie in my Mind (Miss Saigon)
Send in the Clowns (A Little Night Music)
Maybe This Time (Cabaret)
And I Am Telling You (Dreamgirls)
Memory (Cats)
Wheels of a Dream (Ragtime)
On My Own (Les Misérables)
Some Things Are Meant To Be (Little Women)
Where is Love? (Oliver!)
Still Hurting (The Last Five Years)
What I Did For Love (A Chorus Line)
Somewhere (West Side Story)
A Quiet Night at Home (Bare)
Don’t Cry For Me Argentina (Evita)
I’ll Cover You (reprise) (Rent)

Your Show Is Breaking My Heart from Autostraddle on 8tracks.

Playlist: Broadway Belters

One of life’s many great epic tragedies is that I no longer live in New York City and my Dearest Eternal Intern Grace also does not live in New York City, which means neither of us are present in New York City for the just-extended-’til-August Broadway run of Newsies, based on the best worst film of all time!

It’s especially fun because two people I actually know in real life are in Newsies and they’re constantly posting about it on Facebook and making me more jealous than I am of the people posting about going on vacation and buying things.

Where was I? Oh yes, sad that the Broadway Cast recording of Newsies hasn’t come out yet, because that’d be fun to listen to today as I undergo a massive apartment/cleaning project including a former tenant that got dumped on my face unexpectedly yesterday but is far too complicated to explain.

Anyhow, Grace and I made you a playlist of some of our favorite Broadway big group chorus numbers! You can listen to it while dancing around your room like the hooligan you are!

Cell Block Tango – Chicago
Totally Fucked – Spring Awakening
La Vie Boheme – Rent
Ease on Down the Road – The Wiz
Anything Goes – Anything Goes
Time Warp – Rocky Horror Picture Show
Aquarius – HAIR
I Hope I Get It – Chorus Line
Don’t Tell Mama – Cabaret
King of New York – Newsies (movie)
Omigod You Guys – Legally Blonde
You Can’t Stop The Beat – Hairspray
21 Guns – American Idiot
Go Go Go Joseph – Joseph & The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat
Pinball Wizard – The Who’s Tommy
One – Company
The Telephone Hour – Bye Bye Birdie
Big Spender – Sweet Charity
Tonight (Quintet) – West Side Story
The Ladies Who Lunch – Company
Ain’t Misbheavin’/ Lookin’ Good But Feelin’ Bad/’T Ain’t Nobody’s Biz-ness If I Do – Ain’t Misbehavin’
One Day More – Les Miserables

Great Big Broadway from Autostraddle on 8tracks.