“Adventure Time: Distant Lands — Obsidian” Gives the Gays Everything They Want

There’s no greater Monkey’s Paw mistake than wishing for an epilogue for lesbian TV characters who got a happy ending. Sure, you might get another hour or two with them, but at what cost??? (Usually the cost of a devastating breakup at best, or death at worst.) And so, it was with deep trepidation that I pressed play on HBO Max’s Adventure Time: Distant Lands — Obsidian, one of four 45-minute specials that check in on fan favorite characters from the show’s original run. BMO landed in May and focused on, well, BMO. Last week, Obsidian arrived, and promised us nearly an entire hour of Princess Bubblegum and Marceline the Vampire Queen. My fear, it turns out, was unnecessary. Obsidian finally gave the Ooo-loving gays everything they’ve been wanting.

Adventure Time‘s series finale, “Come Along With Me,” finally allowed Marcy and PB to give in to the subtext and angst and smooch on their cartoon lips, and their curtain call saw them snuggled up in bed watching TV together. It was a huge victory for two characters who spent eight years dropping hints about what they meant to each other, and why, and what happened that caused them to have such an intense and antagonistic relationship. Like all of the supporting characters’ storylines on the series, theirs was fractured, moving them forward in time and occasionally revealing something about their past. Obsidian stopped donking around and filled in all the blanks, and with so much care and affection, I still almost can’t believe it happened.

Obsidian opens with three stories: In one, the Glass Kingdom is holding their annual ceremony where they wear masks of “Saint Marceline” and sing the song she sang when she trapped the dragon that was tormenting them in a cave under the city. In another, baby flashback Marceline is on a journey with her mom who’s getting sicker and sicker. And in the third, post-finale Marcy and PB are living a life of domestic bliss: doing puzzles, baking pies, reading books, studying science and working on music, cuddled up on the couch together. They’re still who they are — Marcy’s a little scared of expressing her tender feelings, and Peebs is a control nut with a “boss” coffee mug — but they’ve worked out their differences and are just loving and supporting each other every day. And then! Glass Boy arrives! And begs for Marceline’s help to tame the dragon once again!

To do so, Marceline and Bubblegum have to go on a motorcycle journey through their past, Marceline in more ways than one because the path to the Glass Kingdom leads through the valley where she last saw her mom. It also turns out the Glass Kingdom is where Princess Bubblegum and Marceline had the fight that caused them to breakup and not speak until they ran into each other in the first season of the original series. In present day Glass Kingdom, they confront the dragon, sure, but they also confront who they used to be, and their own personal fears and insecurities, and how scary but also wonderful it is to finally really be together. Marceline also peeps at her past by going back to the fallout shelter where her mom sent her when she was dying and finds the goodbye message she left her there.

The song Marceline sang to force the dragon into the cave the first time was full of rage after she and PB got into a fight. “So glad that I woke up, I don’t really care about your stupid Candy Kingdom” — which, hilariously, has gotten passed down in the Glass Kingdom as “So mad at the coconut, I’m sick of living in the ocean.” She tries to tap into her past to sing an even more punk rocker song, but it turns out she’s just not that angry anymore. She and PB bicker when they’re trying to work out a plan for fighting the dragon, and end up trapped in the cave with it, but when Marcy finally sings the song she’s been working on, it’s a love song for Bonnibel.

“We’ll never grow old together,” Marceline sings to PB. “‘Cause you’ll never grow old to me.”

Obsidian fills in all the gaps of PB and Marcy’s relationship, and in probably the greatest gay fanservice scene ever, the episode ends with the couple dancing and Bubblegum confessing that she’s always loved to hear Marceline sing. She flashes back to watching her at a concert when she was just a teenager. Marceline takes off her shirt and throws it into the crowd and PB catches it. If you’ve watched the series, you’ll recognize the shirt. It’s the one Princess Bubblegum sleeps in, the one she gives to the Sky Witch to get Hambo back for Marceline because the Sky Witch trades in sentimental value.

The main question Obsidian asks is: What does it mean to be broken? And how do we fix ourselves? But it’s not just Glass Boy with a crack in his head; everyone in the Glass Kingdom is shattered just a little bit. And Marceline isn’t just who she used to be, or who she is now. Her pain and trauma and anger and her heroism and tenderness and ability to trust are all part of her, and she doesn’t need to be fixed either. Even the dragon is only a dragon because he got mocked as a child for having a cut on his head. We’re all broken in some ways.

If sweetness can win, and it can, then I’ll still be here tomorrow to high five you yesterday, my friends. Peace.

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15 TV Shows We Loved and Lost and Were Actually Sad About

News breaking last week that queer fan favorites One Day at a Time and Wynonna Earp were facing an uphill battle getting another season made has caused our TV team to: a) wail and gnash our teeth, and b) reflect on some of the shows we’ve actually mourned losing. There’ve been a lot of beloved LGBTQ series these last several years, but when most of them go we’re either satisfied that they’ve run their course (sometimes more than run their course) or apathetic because the shows never reached their full queer potential. There are a handful of shows, however, that we’ve been legitimately crushed to see end.

This list, you’ll notice, is overwhelmingly white, which speaks to how few shows really centered QPOC characters — and how few shows with QPOC characters were given a chance to find their footing — until recently. All the more reason to hit play on One Day at a Time immediately (more info on that below).

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Bomb Girls

Riese

It wasn’t until I saw Betty McRae — one of the few masculine-of-center queers we’ve gotten on television — that I knew I’d never seen anything like her. Bomb Girls got me interested in learning about lesbian history — I was interested in the kind of lesbian culture that was able to thrive in wartime due to the absence of men and the ease with which women were permitted to enter the workforce. All the herstory you’ve read from me on this website, including the Herstory Issue we did in 2012 — that wouldn’t have happened without Bomb Girls.

But it’s not just lesbian representation that made Bomb Girls so special; it was its exemplary feminist leanings, its faithfulness to history and its full, rich, dynamic female characters I would’ve followed for years to come. They barely cracked the surface of this time period and the stories it contained, still had a ways to go with respect to diversity — and I think they would’ve gone that distance, given the chance.

Valerie Anne

I miss Bomb GIrls so much, so often. Betty McRae had that something about her that really wiggled its way into your heart and stuck there. Her pain was my pain, her wins were my wins. And I agree with Riese, it wasn’t even just the lesbian storylines that made the women of that show so compelling. It was the way they existed, survived and thrived in that time, it was their friendships and unique bonds in this unique time in their lives. And, I mean, the outfits!!

Heather

Bomb Girls will always be one of my favorite shows. The amount of time I’ve spent reading and writing about women’s labor during World War II is… vast. To see that history come to life in a drama that featured a half dozen fully realized women characters — one of whom was Betty Fuckin’ McRae — remains a miracle to my mind. Has anyone on-screen had that lesbian swagger like she did? I really can’t think of anyone! Bomb Girls had enough story to tell for ten seasons. I was brokenhearted when it got canned.

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One Mississippi & I Love Dick

Riese

I talked about these shows in their very own post and also I talked about I Love Dick even more in this post so that’s all! I won’t talk about it again but just so you know, I have strong feelings.

Heather

So many shows on TV, you lose them and you can replace them with something else that’s basically the same thing. (Especially for straight white cis people who like fire fighters or detectives or hospitals.) But there has never been a show like One Mississippi and I’m not sure there will be again for a long time, or maybe ever. A dark comedy/love story centering a 47-year-old masculine-of-center lesbian from the south? That really does feel once-in-a-lifetime. And it’s not just that the series ticked some underrepresented minority boxes; it was just really smart and really funny and really sweet and really real storytelling. Gah, and such a refreshing love story! Lisa Franklin of My Two Lesbian Ants said it better than me.

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Faking It

Riese

Recapping a show when you recap a show like I recap a show is a pretty time-intensive process, which means when that show gets cancelled I often feel relief that the task has been removed from my plate and that relief overshadows my sadness about the show — which I liked enough to recap! — being cancelled. I can now say that I miss it and wish we’d had more time for Amy to blossom and do her summer discovery tour with that lesbian band you know?

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Lip Service

Riese

I will watch lesbians do anything! That being said I am nothing if not entirely predictable so of course I wanted more Frankie in my life and I felt very sad that she was written off before the end of what’d turn out to be its final season.

Natalie

So I mourned Lip Service’s end too but not because of Frankie — I’d seen a better version of Frankie with Kate Moennig’s Shane and she never interested me much — but because the show had finally started to center itself around the characters I did find interesting: Tess, Sadie, Lexy and Sam. I wish we’d gotten to see more of Tess’ unending search for love, Sadie’s unrepentant grifting and Sam being a hot cop.

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Dracula

Valerie Anne

For reasons I can’t quite put my finger on (okay fine it had a lot to do with Katie McGrath and Jessica De Gouw) I loved the first season of Dracula. Watching Lucy realize she was in love with her best friend, and that there were girls in the world who kissed other girls, was quite the sight to behold. It did such a great job of depicting the intensity of female friendship, and how sometimes when you’re queer it can be hard to suss out whether you love someone as a friend or you want more… and if they other person is feeling the same kind of confusion. (I’m also a sucker for a good, heart-wrenching, unrequited love story.) And then at the end of Season One, Lucy got turned into a vampire, so we could have had the lesbian vampire of our dreams! Alas, the show was gone too soon.

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The Playboy Club

Valerie Anne

I know Riese talked about this show in her article about cancelled shows, but I wanted to give it another shout-out here because I was really excited to explore the underground world of the LGBTQ+ community in the ’60s. Plus, someone got stabbed with a stiletto!

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All My Children

Natalie

It feels weird to count All My Children among these other shows, many of whom never got the opportunity to tell the stories that their creators wanted to tell…after all, AMC had been a part of daytime television for 41 years before it was cancelled in 2011. But it’s precisely because it had been on for so long that soap fans like myself mourned its loss so intensely. We’d welcomed All My Children into our homes for an hour everyday and we got to know those characters intimately. When my life was at its craziest, I knew that everyday, I could count on a short escape to Pine Valley. It was my television comfort food for years and, then, suddenly it was gone. I mourn its loss, still (which you can tell by the fact that we can never get through one of these roundtables without me mentioning it).

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Still Star-Crossed

Natalie

Based on the book by Melinda Traub, Still Star-Crossed was the short-lived series that picked up just after the deaths of Romeo and Juliet. It was everything you’d come to expect from a Shondaland product — an exquisitely cast group of diverse, beautiful, young actors — but it existed fully within the Shakespearean realm. It was an ambitious project, especially for network television; one that, admittedly, took me a little while to really get, but once I did, I loved it.

I loved Ebonee Noel’s Livia and Lashana Lynch’s Rosaline and, of course, Medalion Rahimi’s Princess Isabella most of all. A lesbian princess? Where else but in Shondaland?

But, of course, just as I started to get it and really love it, it was cancelled. It’s been almost two years since they cancelled it and I’m still mad about it. When Rahimi guest-starred on Scandal as a young Bashrani lesbian who — spoiler alert! — gets killed by Olivia Pope, I thought, “Why won’t the TV gods let her lesbian in peace?!”

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Glee, Pretty Little Liars, The L Word

Carmen

I really struggled with coming up for a show for this roundtable! I’ve been lucky. I’ve never mourned the loss of a dearly departed gay show. In fact, most of the gay shows I’ve truly loved have been blessed with a long life. Perhaps, arguably, even too long of a life. I present to you: Glee, Pretty Little Liars, and the mothership closest to all of our hearts, The L Word. Each ran for six or seven years, when in all honesty four or five was probably closer to their sweet spot.

There’s a different kind of gut level pain that happens when you find yourself groaning at the DVR over a show that once made your life brighter and your heart flutter.You can’t quit it, no matter how hard you try. Because really, what is life without Santana Lopez? What is the sun if Bette Porter isn’t there to yell “fuck” at it? Do the days even really change if Emily Fields doesn’t have glass in her hair? So you stay, and you curse yourself for staying, but in your heart you know – there’s no other way. So, I can’t say that I’ve felt the agony of crying for a show that was cut down in its prime.

But reader, that does not mean that I haven’t felt pain.

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Go On

Heather

In 2012, NBC aired a single season of a comedy called Go On about a support group for widowed spouses. The ensemble was a sitcom dream team: Laura Benanti, Matthew Perry, Suzy Nakamura, Brett Gelman, and Julie White, who played misanthropic lesbian Anne. It was a revolutionary show, not only because it landed well before the golden age of single-cam comedies rooted in trauma and depression and anxiety and grief, but also because it featured the first series regular lesbian on a broadcast TV sitcom since Ellen. There were no tired, cliched, tropey lesbian jokes; Go On wasn’t Friends. The writing for Anne refreshing and Julie White played her with such compassionate, deadpan hilarity I couldn’t get enough of it. Go On balanced laughs and pathos right out of the gate, something it took everyone’s favorite modern found family comedies — Parks and Rec, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, etc. — at least a full season to figure out.

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Caprica

Heather

I do understand that I was the only person on the face of the earth watching this Battlestar Galactica prequel, probably because it went hard hard hard on the religious stuff everyone hated about the original series, but I still think it was one of the most compelling sci-fi shows I’ve ever seen. It was asking questions ten years ago that we’re just beginning to grapple with today, about our online footprints and the data collected about us from social media networks and mobile phone companies and internet service providers and even those little frequent shopper cards you use to collect points for gas at Kroger. Specifically it was asking the question: After you die, could all the data you left behind be used to recreate you? Okay and if it could, what if someone plugged that data into — oh, say — a Cylon? Forcing this issue was prep school headmistresses and straight up cult leader Sister Clarice Willow, a psychotic bisexual Mommi played with cold precision by Polly Walker. It only lasted a truncated season and I think that’s a damn shame!

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Adventure Time

Heather

It feels a little bit silly to say I mourn a show that lasted 300 episodes and ten seasons, and one that came to a natural and very satisfying(ly gay) conclusion — but I feel about this show the way Natalie feels about All My Children: I would have watched ten thousand episodes. It never faltered, in my opinion; it only got deeper and weirder and more gratifying to watch. Heck, I would have even settled for a spin-off doing a deep dive into all the supporting characters. I loved the feeling of opening up the DVR menu and realizing five new episodes of Adventure Time had appeared like magic. It was my one of my favorite Saturday morning surprises. I’ll miss that small thrill and Marceline and PB too, for a very long time.

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Valerie Anne wants you to know Wynonna Earp is more than just a TV show to her; it’s found family. You can keep up with the most up-to-date information about saving the show at fightforwynonna.com and tweet your support with the hashtags #WynonnaEarp and #FightForWynonna.

Carmen wants you to know that if you are not doing literally everything you can to help save sweet, sweet Elena Alvarez from the cancelled TV lesbian graveyard, she will cry into a thousand damp pillowcases. She will never, NOT EVER, forgive you. Watch it right this second on Netflix and tweet it: #ODAAT and #RenewODAAT.

What gay shows do you actually mourn?

How Not to Throw a Birthday Party, According to Lesbian TV’s Worst Parties

I’m not much of a partygoer due to extreme introversion, but writing and reading and editing our Birthday Issue — and watching Russian Doll twice in a row — has made me think about birthday parties a lot lately. Specifically: what makes a good birthday party and what makes a bad birthday party? And so I turned to my favorite source of information and inspiration, lesbian and bisexual television, to cobble together some tips for myself for the next birthday party I throw. Below is a list of TV shows and the lessons they taught me; hopefully they’ll help you too.

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Jane the Virgin

Location, location, location.

Location is everything! Find a place that’s fun, accessible, affordable, and safe! If, for example, your family owns a hotel where your sister-in-law’s lover was tossed from a window and impaled on an ice sculpture, or your father was buried alive in concrete, or your brother’s son’s mother’s husband was shot dead, think of having your party in an entirely different and less definitely haunted place — even if said murder palace has also been home to some real good times for you personally.

Hashtag You on Netflix/Lifetime

Refine your guest list.

If you think your friend might be hooking up with a stalker who kidnapped her ex-boyfriend and locked him in a cage in his basement and murdered him, maybe say something about that before he comes into your home and steals your family heirlooms and maps out the various entrances and exits so that he can later also murder you. Additionally, if you’re only letting the potential stalker come because you don’t want your best friend to know that you’re kinda also stalking her, you should maybe work that part out in therapy before the party.

The Bold Type

Work your shit out with your partner before the party.

If you’re going to be at a party, especially a very public party, especially-especially one that requires you to canoodle with your partner on, say, a red carpet, make sure the air is clear between the two of you and one of you is not holding onto resentment that you won’t go down on them and the other of you is holding onto shame that is keeping you from going down on them, on account of one of you just might explode in front of your friends and your boss and some cameras. Communication is key! Before you arrive!

The L Word

Celebrate the party’s honored guest.

Much like TV characters should not be blank slates for a showrunner to reboot each season based on their whims, parties should not be about the host’s desires, but about the main guest’s desires. For example, if your trans guy friend gets inexplicably pregnant despite science and precautions — similar to the confounding science of your lesbian friend dying in three days of rapid-fire breast cancer — and then his partner leaves him in the middle of the night, perhaps you should not force him to come to a Willy Wonka-themed baby shower the next day and sit around listening to smug lesbian moms lecture him on, say, breast pumps. There’s a song in Willy Wonka about this exact thing, and it’s not “Pure Imagination.” It goes like this: “There’s no earthly way of knowing / Which direction we are going / There’s no knowing where we’re rowing / Or which way the river’s flowing / Not a speck of light is showing / So the danger must be growing / And the fires of Hell a-glowing.” Don’t be the grisly reaper mowing, man.

The Fosters

Give your girlfriend a heads up if your ex will be there.

If your wife suggests having a dinner party to get to know your new neighbors, it’s probably a good idea to let her know if that neighbor happened to be a “friend” you did a lot of gay things with in high school, while calling it “just friends.” Staying up all night cuddling, professing your undying love, planning your life around them, etc. Just a casual mention, just a tiny little heads up. Lesbians are all friends with their exes, but it’s nice to be able to mentally prepare to meet them, especially if they now share a yard with you.

Defiance

Choose your menu wisely.

You have to be real about who’s capable of bringing what to your party for snacking purposes. Some friends are Great British Bake Off-caliber bakers and some friends just want to stop by the wine store on the way and pick up enough booze for half your guests. Also, some friends might have a murderous vendetta against you because of how you ratted them out to their husbands about the lesbian affair they were having, and in that case, they might not bring cake or alcohol, but literal poison. Just play to everyone’s culinary strengths, know your nemeses, and make sure all your guests are familiar with poison-free alternatives to food with poison in them.

Adventure Time

Don’t let your queer friends’ family get them down.

Look, we all know that sometimes queer people have complicated relationships with their family and those complicated relationships can ruin their big days. If, for one example, your queer friend transformed her family into Candy People and they were forced to live in the bodies of peppermints, gum balls, and chocolate covered bananas for centuries, they might have an axe they choose to grind in a very public way. Try to keep your party details confidential from your friend’s family, and, at the very least, make sure her shape-shifting vampire ex-girlfriend is there to do emotional and physical damage control.

Glee

Be prepared for drama.

Parties bring out the drama in people. Honestly assess going into a party — whether you’re hosting it or just attending it — how likely drama is to occur and be prepared. Let’s say you’re going to the wedding of a former teacher whose complete lack of boundaries and maturity once saw him singing a song about date rape in the hallway while gyrating all over your classmates. You know those vows aren’t going off with a hitch. Bring a friend, and open mind, and proper identification to make use of the open bar.

Skins

Know your limits.

Partaking of alcohol or other recreational substances is a thing some people enjoy at parties — but you have to know your limits, and your audience! If you’re a closeted queer in a situationship with another closeted queer, you might want to keep your consumption to a level that doesn’t lower your inhibitions to the point of public make outs in bouncy castles. (Or, be real with yourself that you’re lowering your inhibitions on purpose so you don’t end up saying some heterosexual wankshite to your make out buddy after you’re sober.) Additionally, don’t overindulge to the point that you and your best friend both have sex with the same person and get furious at each other about it.

Pretty Little Liars

Know when to call it a night.

If all your friends have fallen asleep after a rousing night of discussing what amount of liking Beyoncé is a gay amount of liking Beyoncé, you should also consider turning in. Chances are you’re tired and not thinking straight and maybe/probably have had a little bit to drink. Just hunker on down and get some rest. If not, you might find yourself getting smashed in the head with a shovel by one of the fifty people wandering around your backyard with shovels in the middle of the night, and then buried alive by your own mother, and then pulled from your grave by a sorority witch, and then picked up on the side of the road by your arch-rival, and then taken to a seedy motel for a makeover — and by sunrise you’re flying your airplane off into the sky, resurrected, no place to go, with only a hundred masks of your own face to your name. 🎈

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The 25 Best TV Shows Of 2018 With LGBT Women Characters

‘Tis the season for various media outlets to reveal their list of the 10-40 Best TV Shows of the year, and this year we decided to get in on that. With a caveat, of course — to us, no matter how critically acclaimed any given show is, we cannot personally crown it “the best” unless our specific interests (read: queer women) are included within it. I’m sorry that’s just who and how we are!

To prepare for this undertaking, I looked at 18 Best TV of 2018 lists across mainstream media, both high-brow and middle-brow: The Decider, The New York Times, Paste, Vulture, Vanity Fair, The Guardian, Entertainment Weekly, USA Today, The New Yorker, TV Guide, AFI, Complex, The AV Club, Verge, The AP, Variety, Slate, The Daily Beast and The Atlantic. On the list below, you’ll see in parentheses a number: that number represents the number of other Best-Of lists the show appeared on.

Last year I documented what felt like — finally— a shift wherein regular and recurring queer women characters were just as likely to show up at the forefront of prestige television as they were in our previous homes of “soapy teen dramas,” sci-fi/supernatural epics and very small parts in aforementioned prestige television. This year that trend has continued mightily. Three shows that turned up on pretty much every Best-Of list — The Good Place, Killing Eve and Pose — had queer or trans leads. Frequent inclusions on those Best-Of Lists that did not include queer women were exactly what you’d expect: The Americans, Homecoming, Atlanta, Better Call Saul, Lodge 49, Barry, Bojack Horseman (which did have one lesbian-themed episode but that didn’t feel like enough to warrant inclusion on this list, I’m sure you will @ me re: this) and Gianni Versace: American Crime Story. Most baffling to us all was that Lifetime’s You showed up on SEVEN Best-Of Lists, despite being insufferable and killing its only queer woman character. It’s not on this list.

This list is not, then, our favorite shows of the year, or the shows that brought us the most joy or the best representation. We’re doing a lot of lists this year about teevee, and most of them are our Favorites, not “The Best.” This list are the shows that have regular or recurring queer women characters and that I personally believe were, objectively, the best. The opinions of other critics weighed heavily into these rankings, and only in a few cases did I pick a show that wasn’t on any other Best-Of lists.

I look forward to witnessing your disagreements and agreements in the comments! Also I know there’s 27 shows here but 25 seemed like a better headline.

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28. Marvel’s Runaways Seasons One & Two (0)

“Marvel’s Runaways” Hasn’t Achieved Its Full Gay Potential Yet, but It’s Already a Thrilling Ride

The timing couldn’t be better for this lovely comic book adaptation about a group of fierce, supernaturally talented teenagers challenging the abhorrent compromises their parents made, supposedly in their best interest, for a “better world,” at the expense of, you know — human lives, wealth inequality, and our planet. Plus, Virginia Gardner literally shines as Karolina Dean, a human-alien hybrid initially hiding her superpowers and her lesbianism ’til coming out near the end of Season One. Her revelation is refreshingly well received by her crush, cynical goth Nico Minoru, in what feels like a fairly honest depiction of Generation Y’s alleged tendency towards nonchalant sexual fluidity. Season Two sees the lesbian couple trying to make it work amid pretty challenging circumstances. Despite an enormous ensemble — six children and ten parents for each — Runaways has mostly succeeded in making each of them count. At times it fumbles, having bit off more than it can chew thematically and w/r/t sheer population, but it still manages to combine the easy joy of a teen drama with the satisfying anxiety of suspenseful sci-fi. — Riese Bernard

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27. The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Season Two (7)

Undoubtedly the most cheerful show on the list and a bona-fide critical darling, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel is hawkishly agreeable, floating through its second season on unmistakable charm, its trademark breakneck quip-laden dialogue, and a generous budget devoted to picturesque sets and locations that leave no affluent late-’50s stone unturned. Then there’s Mrs. Maisel herself, a plucky heroine who occasionally does wrong but when she does, it’s always very cute, and often laugh-out-loud funny. It’s frustrating that Susie’s lesbianism remains bafflingly unspoken, especially when Mrs. Maisel’s primary flaw continues to be its chronically low stakes, like a cake inside another cake inside another cake slathered in buttercream frosting. I do love cake, though! Regardless — Susie deserves a sexuality. I hope in Season Three she finally gets it. — Riese Bernard

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26. Sally4Ever Season One (2)

HBO’s “Sally4Ever” Is Hilarious, Horrifying, Tries to Make Lesbian Toeing Happen

Earning points for sheer pugnacity, Sally4Ever, described by The Guardian as “a lurid lesbian sitcom,” is a disgusting, often offensive and downright bizarre comedy about an absurdly passive middle-aged woman, Sally, who leaves her droll underachieving partner for a wildly manipulative narcissistic lesbian musician / actress she first sees on the Underground. Julie Davis’s Emma is a madcap creation only Julie Davis’s mind could’ve created. Sally4Ever is one of four reminders on this list that you can always rely on British television to wallow in discomfort and failure in a way optimistic American TV is rarely willing to do. — Riese Bernard

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25. Legends of Tomorrow Seasons Three & Four (2)

How “Legends of Tomorrow” Became One of the Best Queer Shows on TV

Legends of Tomorrow is one of the weirdest shows on television. With everything from Julius Caesar on the loose in Aruba to a stuffed animal worshipped as a god of war, you truly never know what’s going to happen next. On paper, it seems like the writers play mad libs with storylines, picking random nouns and locations out of hats and running with it. The most dramatic lines of dialogue are, simply put, absurd. But in 2018 this goofy-ass show has blossomed into something truly spectacular, as bisexual badass Sara Lance became, in the words of Zari, “not just the captain of the ship, but its soul.” It was still everything we love about the show – the misfit camaraderie, the wacky storylines, the outfits, the heart – but turned up to eleven. Sara also got her first post-Arrow longterm relationship with another woman. Their love story was fraught, sweet, sexy, complicated — and oh so rewarding. Best of all, it’s still going strong. — Valerie Anne

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24. Everything Sucks! Season One (1)

Everything Sucks! is a Bangin’ TV Show With a Sweet Lesbian Lead

Sure, everything sucks, but something that specifically sucks is that this show only got one tiny season to breathe. Sweet and nostalgic, Everything Sucks! made the noteworthy choice of placing a lesbian character front and center of a tender coming-of-age dramedy set in Boring, Oregon. Amid pitch-perfect references to Frutopia, “Wonderwall” and the Columbia House Music Club, we have two girls on separate journeys towards queer revelations (and each other) and in this story, the pre-teen boys in their crew aren’t the main event. Considering all that, I suppose, perhaps it’s not so surprising it got cancelled.— Riese Bernard 

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23. Forever Season One (3)

Maya Rudolph’s Forever is Finally Here and Quietly Queer 

Every critic on earth adored Forever, partly because of the show’s unique and brilliantly executed concept, but mostly because of Maya Rudolph’s stunning and triumphant return to TV. What made Forever even rarer than those two things was the central conflict for Rudolph’s character, June, who experienced a middle-aged queer awakening at the hands of an enigmatic, furious, and sometimes even unlikable(!!) Kase, played by Catherine Keener. It does seem like maybe some vital character development for Kase was left on the cutting room floor in an effort to make sure the audience didn’t root too hard for her relationship with June — but what remained was still breathtaking and frankly revolutionary.  — Heather Hogan

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22. Counterpart Season One (3)

After years of lurking in the Showtime/HBO shadows, Starz has emerged over the past few years to, intentionally or not, feature queer women characters in nearly all of their original programming. And what original programming it has been! A lot of the well-deserved praise for this taut, suspenseful, dystopian spy thriller has gone to J.K. Simmons for his riveting performance as two versions of the same man, one in each of the show’s two parallel worlds. But the reason I tuned in was for one of the year’s few masculine-of-center lesbian regulars: Baldwin, a trained assassin never given the chance to develop a true emotional life or any dreams of her own, a fact laid bare when she’s forced to watch her counterpart, an accomplished classical violinist, die in an alternate dimension. She struggles with her sexual and emotional connection to a sleeper agent and an unexpected romance with a waitress, as brooding butches are wont to do, but we never struggle with our affection for this unique point of connection in a really good story.— Riese Bernard 

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21. Adventure Time Season 10 (1)

Princess Bubblegum and Marceline Smooch On-Screen, Live Happily Ever After in the “Adventure Time” Series Finale


Adventure Time is easily the most influential show in Cartoon Network’s history; echoes of its style and themes reverberate far beyond kids TV. And really Adventure Time never was kids TV. Yeah, it was animated and as silly as bing bong ping pong. But as it evolved, it became as philosophical weighty and psychologically curious as Battlestar Galactica. Fans of Princess Bubblegum and Marceline enjoyed growing canonical support of their favorite couple over the seasons, both on-screen and in spin-off comic books — but they’d never actually confirmed their relationship physically until the series finale when Bonnie got womped in the dome piece and almost croaked and Marceline rushed to her and caressed her and professed her love and they smooched right on the mouths. — Heather Hogan

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20. The Handmaid’s Tale Season Two (4)

“The Handmaid’s Tale” Season Two Gets Even Darker, Queerer, Curiouser and Curiouser

Season Two of Handmaid’s Tale was darker than Season One, which’s saying a lot. I mean we opened with a fake-out mass-hanging and before long Offred was basically slicing off a chunk of her own ear, then staring at the camera while we watched her bleed. And there would be so much more blood where that came from! But damn, the artistry of this brutal show and its magnificent cast, capable of communicating entire worlds without a single spoken line. The season’s most unspoken message, though, was this: pay attention. Look up. Don’t wait for them to come for you. Clea Duvall and Cherry Jones graced us with winning cameos and lesbian characters Moira (Samira Wiley) and Emily (Alexis Bledel) took greater prominence. So did Gilead’s persecution of lesbians in a specific dystopia designed by religious fundamentalists who are obsessed with traditional gender roles and able to rationalize their actions in the wake of a fertility crisis. It’s not a pleasant world to witness, yet it remains a seductive watch. Every moment of dark humor is hard-won, like, I suppose, freedom itself.— Riese Bernard 

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19. The End of the F*cking World Season One (5)

I Demand a Lesbian Cop-Show Spin-off of The End of the F*cking World

Sure, we could watch fresh-faced teen dreams fall in love in the lemon-scented hallways of suburban California high schools, or we could watch … whatever this was? A 17-year-old self-diagnosed psychopath who loves knives goes on a traveling caper with the only girl in town who’s sad, alienated and nihilistic enough to wanna run away with him. Hot on their tail are two lesbian detectives who had a thing once and definitely deserve their own show. — Riese Bernard 

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18. Dear White People Season Two (4)

In this current television landscape, binges come and go. A television show drops on streaming, you watch it, maybe even obsess for a spell, and then it fades to the recesses of your memory to make room for whatever trendy new show is coming next. In those dips and waves, sometimes something really special falls through the cracks. I say that because there’s a chance that you didn’t watch Dear White People last year and that’s a mistake.

The first season of Dear White People was regrettably uneven, particularly in regards to its lesbian representation, but the second season aired this year and came back stronger, more focused, and razor-sharp! It’s a stylized and poignant exploration of being a black student at a predominantly white university that is as smart (if not smarter) than almost any other comedy I watched last year. The weekend of its drop, I finished all 13 episodes in two days. The next weekend, I watched it again. I couldn’t shake how insightful it was, how bright, how one-of-a-kind. You can watch the second season with no knowledge of the first and follow along easily. As a bonus, it comes with the bittersweet gift of two smaller, but significantly better executed black lesbian plots. One of those plots stars Lena Waithe. It also features Tessa Thompson as a parodied take on a Stacey Dash’s “black republican television pundit” figure. Her character plays out over a series of cameos, but as far as I’m concerned her final scene is worth the entire season by itself. — Carmen Phillips

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17. Steven Universe Season Five (2)

“Steven Universe” Makes History, Mends Hearts in a Perfect Lesbian Wedding Episode

Steven Universe continues to explore more adult themes more fully than nearly every non-animated show on TV: family, grief, depression, commitment, betrayal, duplicitousness, forgiveness, puberty, gender, gender presentation, sexuality — and it does so in a way that’s warm and engaging and funny and, most of all, hopeful. This season, Rebecca Sugar’s beloved non-binary lesbian gems, Ruby and Sapphire, broke more ground by becoming the first same-sex couple to get married on all-ages TV. Their wedding featured masc gems in dresses, femme gems in tuxes, kisses right on the mouth, and swoon-worthy proclamations of eternal love. Also, of course, ass-kicking. Steven Universe remains one of the best shows on television, full stop. — Heather Hogan

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16. Black Lightning Seasons One & Two (0)

Recaps of Season One & Two of Black Lightning

The CW has delivered a very entertaining batch of fresh-faced white superheroes determined to battle off some wacky Big Bads, but Black Lightning really elevates the genre and takes notable risks. The story is rooted halfway in this world, too, spotlighting a family wrought together over love and a deep commitment to their community and social justice, while divided on how best to manifest that commitment. Annissa Pierce, aka Thunder, became network television’s first out lesbian superhero when she debuted in early 2018. “I’ve said before that bullet proof black people is my favorite superhero trope,” Carmen wrote in a Season One recap, “but there is also something so sweet about a television lesbian who can’t be shot.” We hope to see more in future episodes of her girlfriend Grace, played by Chantal Thuy. Don’t sleep on Black Lightning. Wherever it’s going, you’ll want to be on board.— Riese Bernard 

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15. The Bisexual Season One (2)

Hulu’s “The Bisexual” Is Here to Make Every Queer a Little Uncomfortable

This has been such a great year for queer weirdos with their fingers acutely upon their own pulses. In between impeccable L Word references and fetching fashion choices, The Bisexual is an uncompromising journey of sexual discovery, jump-started when Leila breaks up with her much older girlfriend (and business partner) Sadie. Akhvan’s world feels undeniably authentic — she points out that “it’s the only show on TV where you can watch two Middle Eastern women in a car, talking, taking up the screen with their different bodies and different ethnicities.” Fumbling and unafraid of its own potential, The Bisexual also portrays a multi-generational, diverse network of queer and often gender-non-conforming women in London’s East End in all its messy, self-reflexive glory. — Riese Bernard 

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13. The Good Fight Season Two (9)

The Good Fight lives in that very special sweet spot that I like to call organized chaos, almost ballet-like in its sweeping rhythm. It is very much a playground for Christine Baranski and Cush Jumbo to do their impeccable work. But it also, better than any other show, captures the collective meltdown that has become a ceaseless hum in Tr*mp’s America. It’s sharp, and it’s dark, and it’s still funny and fun, with a very women-driven, diverse cast. And one of its central lawyers, Maia Rindell (Rose Leslie), also happens to be a petite lesbian mired in staggering lesbian drama, and by lesbian drama I mean her girlfriend literally testifies against her in a massive court case that Maia’s parents have her swept up in! Also, in season two we learn that Maia was in love with her tennis instructor as a closeted baby gay, and I have never felt more Seen. — Kayla Kumari 

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12. Harlots Season Two (0)

Harlots Season Two Is Here, Queer and Transcendent

Harlots might be the year’s most underrated show (Seriously, how does this show earn a nearly perfect score on Rotten Tomatoes but not make it onto anybody’s Best Shows Of the Year list? I endeavor to suggest that the reason is Men). I declared Harlots the most accurate portrayal of indoor-market sex work ever represented onscreen in Season One — surprisingly more resonant to me as a former sex worker than any contemporary portrayals — and its extra queering in Season Two made it moreso and then some. If Season One was about sex work, Season Two is about the reality that what’s done to sex workers is inextricable from what’s done to all women — the lessons about power, violence, solidarity and struggle in stories about sex work are ones that the larger conversation about gender ignores at its peril. — Riese Bernard 

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11. High Maintenance Season Two (6)

In between High Maintenance‘s first and second season, a lot happened for husband-and-wife co-creators Ben Sinclair and Katja Blichfeld — including Katja coming out as gay, thus ending their marriage. Although the split hadn’t been finalized at the time, Season One ended with the reveal that Sinclair’s “The Guy” marijuana-delivery character lived down the hallway from his ex-wife, who’d left him for another woman. Its Season Two, then, is a long time coming and imbued with a rapturous affection for contemporary queer culture. The characters calling upon “The Guy” negotiate languid lesbian sexual dynamics, LGBT-affirming churches, sexually fluid teens and anti-Trump feminist gatherings attended by well-intentioned, hysterical liberals. Particularly touching was a bittersweet episode that saw “The Guy” visited in the hospital by aforementioned now-lesbian ex-wife. But honestly, with few exceptions every story in this scene is like a nice hybrid edible that makes you giggle, relax, and occasionally feel profound.— Riese Bernard 

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10. Vida Season One (2)

“Vida” Review: Starz’s New Latinx Drama Is Sexy, Soulful and Super Queer

Tragically overlooked by mainstream critics, one of 2018’s most innovatory offerings sees emotionally estranged sisters, bisexual attorney Emma (Michel Prada) and Lyn (Melissa Barrera), reuniting in their home of Boyle Heights after the death of their mother who, it turns out, was in fact dating her butch lesbian “roommate,” Eddy. Showrunner Tanya Saracho’s writing team is entirely Latinx and mostly queer, and they deftly address the complications of “gente-fication” and the joys of living breathing loving community with all the nuance and authenticity it requires. But perhaps most notable for all of us here was the graphic butch/femme sex scene that opened Episode Three. “It isn’t just about the hot sex — though the sex is very hot — it’s about creating spaces where Latinx queer bodies can feel ownership,” wrote Carmen in her recap. “It’s tearing down shame. It’s about saying that our love, our sex, our sticky sweat is valid.”— Riese Bernard 

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9. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Seasons 4 & 5 (4)

“Crazy Ex-Girlfriend” Is Singing Our Song: Valencia Has a Girlfriend!

Maybe we should’ve seen it coming — after all, soon after we meet Valencia for the first time, she’s kissing Rebecca on the dance floor and lamenting the fact that everyone wants to have sex with her — but it wasn’t until Valencia met Beth that we got to see her bisexuality as something other than comedic fodder. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend has always been a queer-friendly show but with Valencia and Beth, it finally put lady-loving ladies on centerstage. Valencia’s bisexuality was the pitch perfect end to a show-long character arc: she’s evolved from the vain yoga instructor who couldn’t build meaning relationships with women to loving, working and living with one.

The Golden Globe-winning series is currently in its fourth and final season and Valencia and Beth are still together, happy and, in an unusual twist for Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, relatively normal (unless you count the $8000 they pay in rent for their new closet size NYC apartment). We feared that the couple’s recent relocation meant that we wouldn’t get to see as much of them but the show’s found a way to bridge the distance between West Covina and New York. Hopefully, Valencia’s recent return for “the rest of the series of holidays” means we’ll finally get that lesbian loving musical number we’ve all been craving. — Natalie Duggins

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8. Jane the Virgin Season Four (4)

While Jane the Virgin has been rightly critically acclaimed since day one and praised for its revolutionary diversity, it’s always had a complicated relationship with its queer characters. Luisa started off strong but was ultimately relegated to a one-dimensional punchline before essentially disappearing, and Rose was never really fully formed. This year, though, the writers picked up on the long-running fan theory that Petra is bisexual and agreed. Unlike Luisa, Petra actually started out as a caricature and became more layered and complicated as the show went on. Her coming out journey was essentially realizing she’s into women because her chemistry with Jane Ramos spawned a sex dream into her subconscious — and then just going for it. The self-revelation, the exploration, even the way she told Jane and Rafael about it was so sweet and sexy and prickly and Petra. Jane the Virgin has gotten better every year, and the surprise of Petra and JR’s storyline was one of the reasons season four was its best ever. — Heather Hogan

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7. The Haunting of Hill House Season One (4)

Netflix’s New “Haunting of Hill House” Gave Us a Lesbian Who Lives, Took Our Whole Weekend

The Haunting of Hill House had a challenge ahead of it with adapting its queer storyline; the original text had one of pop culture’s first recognizably lesbian characters, but preserving her “authentically” would mean falling far short of today’s expectations for representation, as in 2018 we look for more to signify lesbianism than “wears pants” and “is unmarried.” So Haunting gave us Theo, a lesbian character whose sexuality isn’t her whole storyline, but does tie into it; who goes through some wild and traumatizing stuff, but on a level that’s comparable with the also very wild and traumatizing stuff that her straight siblings go through. And in a show where romantic relationships are rocky at best, Theo does manage to both survive and get the girl.  —Rachel Kincaid

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6. Brooklyn 99 Season Five (6)

As evidenced by our very own Gay Emmys, this year was a very good year for Stephanie Beatriz and her character Rosa Diaz, who came out as bisexual — like, actually said the word! — on this season of Brooklyn Nine-Nine. The show itself had a good year, too, almost annoying in how persistently it outdoes itself year after year with its annual, always excellent Halloween episode. The Backstreet Boys lineup might go down as one of the greatest comedy cold opens of all time (up there with The Office’s “Fire Drill”). And even though we’re now five seasons into the series, that doesn’t mean the writers are just coasting by on humor that relies on how well we know all of these characters. It still regularly serves up new, emotional character arcs that peel back the layers to this lovable squad, as with Rosa’s personal life developments. Above all else, the show celebrates earnestness and friendship in a really lovely way that proves you don’t have to be mean or cynical to be really fucking funny. — Kayla Kumari 

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5. One Day at a Time Season Two (6)

“One Day at a Time” Brings Even More Heart and Humor and Gayness to Season 2

There’s an easy reason that One Day at a Time shows up on so many critics’ “End of the Year” Best Lists. It’s quite simply that damn good. One Day at a Time is the most generous, compassionate, loving family sitcom on television. It’s also not afraid to have frank, sometimes dark discussions – PTSD, depression, the fragility of age, the perils of being a young queer teen, the financial struggles of being a working class family in the 21^st century. It’s all on the table.

As I wrote in my Season Two review, some of the show’s brilliance comes from leaning into its multi-cam sitcom roots. One Day at a Time uses an old school format, and they are proud of it. They leverage the intimacy and familiarity of the genre to their advantage, luring their audience into cutting edge and weighty conversations from the comfort of the Alvarez’s living room. It’s a stand-out in a class of stand-outs and I would put it against any other comedy on television. In fact, I’ll go further. The fact that One Day at a Time has now gone two years without any acting or writing Emmy nominations is one of the most shaming indictments of the white, male majority of the Television Academy that we have right now. Yes, it’s just that damn good. — Carmen Phillips

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4. Pose Season One (13)

“Pose” Is Full of Trans Joy, Resistance, and Love

This show just flatly rejected the idea that the best way to tell our stories is slowly, character-by-character, putting one white cisnormative queer in one show and then another show until we somehow achieve critical mass. The problem with that has often been that that’s not how we live — we’re not out here one by one, lone queers in schools/towns/families composed entirely by normals. Enter Pose: a show written by and for trans women of color, set in an era when the only thing louder than the daily trauma of oppression and omnipresent fear of HIV/AIDS were the LOOKS, and all the beautiful ways a body can move to express itself. Pose radiates with a glittery, gorgeous aesthetic and complicated characters. Trans bodies are so often portrayed as somehow tragic or compromised, and Pose — in addition to being a story about real human lives, love, friendship, and “chosen family” — is about the triumph of the body, its ability to mean as much to the world as it does to itself. — Riese Bernard 

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3. G.L.O.W. Season Two (11)

G.L.O.W. Season Two Doubles the lesbians, Doubles the Fun

After a first season that bafflingly pursued outlandish homoeroticism yet was seemingly void of homosexuals, Season Two introduced a Latina lesbian fighter and pulled Arthie off the bench for a romantic awakening. G.L.O.W., based on the real-life Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling, was a delightful mid-summer ride that took a more decidedly feminist bent as the Gorgeous Ladies explored how to advocate for, instead of against, each other, in an industry hell-bent on exploiting women for male fortune. Still, with its electrifying outfits, ostentatious costume drama and carefully-calibrated balance of comedy and drama, it only failed at one thing: an ensemble this dynamic needs longer episodes or a longer season, or both. — Riese Bernard 

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2. The Good Place Season 3 (12)

The Good Place, like The Office and 30 Rock before it (although I’m, admittedly, not a 30 Rock fan), has accomplished nothing short of a complete re-imagination of what the half-hour network comedy can be. It’s got everything: prestige sci-fi level world-building, cartoonish aesthetics, highbrow esoteric wit, running gags and plenty of ‘ships. Its premise, writes Sam Anderson in The New York Times, “is absurdly high concept. It sounds less like the basis of a prime-time sitcom than an experimental puppet show conducted, without a permit, on the woodsy edge of a large public park.” And yet it works. And in Season Three, The Good Place amped up Eleanor’s bisexuality and Janet’s particular take on non-binary, and we are so pleased, because that means we can put what will undoubtedly be one of the most legendary television programs of all time on lists like this one. — Riese Bernard 

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1. Killing Eve Season One (17)

Killing Eve is Your New Queer Obsession

Crescendoing, relentless, all-consuming obsession fuels the narrative of Killing Eve, Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s sexy, smart, distinctly feminine action thriller starring Sandra Oh and Jodie Comer as the toxic spy-assassin duo who can’t stop thinking about each other. Watching Killing Eve feels exactly like that: seering obsession. This category was stacked with great, complex dramas, but there’s something just purely intoxicating about Killing Eve that sets it apart. Though it’s the phrase most often used to describe Eve and Villanelle’s dynamic, “cat-and-mouse” hardly covers what Oh and Comer bring to these characters or what’s even on the page. It’s never quite clear whether they want to murder each other or make out. Hunting each other, longing for each other, Eve and Villanelle might be one of the most complex queer relationships on television. But beyond that dripping subtext, it’s just a very good thriller with compelling twists and turns and sharp edges that refuse to be dulled. — Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya

The 16 Best Lesbian and Bisexual TV Couples of 2018

When Riese wrote about GLAAD’s Where We Are on TV report this year, she mentioned that she created and has been maintaining a comprehensive database of LGBTQ TV characters, so she wasn’t too surprised to read that GLAAD’s findings were mostly positive, and that they now have stats to back-up something we’ve been saying forever: “showrunners are listening to GLAAD, they’re listening to fans, and they’re increasingly aware of how specifically passionate queer women are about our stories.”

That’s more obvious on this list — and what’s not included in on this list — than maybe any of the other year-end lists we’re compiling this year. In the intro for the best lesbian and bisexual movies of 2018, I noted how weird it was to be able to create a queer women’s pop culture list and leave things off of it — because, finally, we had enough good content to set some parameters for inclusion. Well, here I am making a list of best lesbian and bisexual TV couples of 2018 and the same thing is true! There’ve definitely been enough queer women pairings to fill out lists like these the last few years, but it would have been unheard of until very recently to leave off any two women whose mouths had touched each others’. But here I am, doing just that! I counted 60 TV shows that featured women smooching this year. 16 shows made this list.

Even more interestingly/awesomely, there are at least a dozen fan favorite lesbian and bisexual TV characters this year who aren’t on this particular list because they had excellent queer storylines that didn’t include being in a relationship. (Don’t worry, our annual list of Best/Worst TV characters is coming next week!)

The couples on this list had to include: a non-guest queer character who had noticeable character development; sex/affection/screentime that was equivalent to the sex/affection/screentime given to straight characters of the same status (main character, recurring character, etc.); and the majority of our TV Team had to agree on their inclusion. And here they are!

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Jane and Petra, Jane the Virgin

Jane the Virgin fans had been reading Petra as bisexual for a few seasons, and while the show didn’t match her up with Jane Villanueva, they sure did give her a whole other Jane to fall for! Petra’s coming out storyline was so real and so sweet and so funny and so sexy and — best of all — it ended with her getting the girl (at least for a minute!).

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Nico and Karolina, Marvel’s Runaways

Nico and Karlina’s relationship is special because both characters have their own storylines, and their own relationships to their queerness, so they’re just as dynamic and fun to watch when they’re apart as they are together. Their relationship had been highly anticipated by fans of The Runaways comic books, so it was really rewarding to see the usually-gay-reluctant Marvel actually go there on-screen, and do it so well.

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Stef and Lena, The Fosters

Stef and Lena will go down in history as one of the all-time great lesbian relationships on TV. It was sad to say goodbye to them in their final season, but easily worth the tears for the five years of laughter and love and late-night swims and pancake breakfasts they gave us. In the end, they renewed their commitment to be home with each other, always, right where they belong.

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Syd and Elena, One Day at a Time

Elena’s season one coming out storyline was perfect and profound. And so was her first love storyline in season two. Syd, Elena’s nonbinary queer pal, went from being her activist buddy to her partner over the course of the season. They shared their first kiss together, their first school dance together, and their first Doctor/TARDIS cosplay together. A romance for the ages.

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Princess Bubblegum and Marceline, Adventure Time

After the slowest slow burn in the history of slow burns, Marceline and Princess Bubblegum finally kissed on-screen in the Adventure Time series finale (fittingly, as Ooo was literally burning to the ground around them). Marceline stopped hinting that her affection for Bonnibel had never gone away and said it right out loud. Did they live happily ever after? Well, time is an illusion. But they did live, and together!

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Sara and Ava, Legends of Tomorrow

We loved Sara with Nyssa. And it was always fun to watch Sara romp through time and make good girls go gay. But watching the strength and vulnerability it took for her to fall in love with Ava and fight for their relationship peeled back even more layers of her character. They make each other so happy, and that makes us happy. These two have suffered enough! Let them live and love!

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Kate and Emaline, Everything Sucks

Riese and I were both kind of stunned by how much we loved Everything Sucks and how bummed we were that Netflix cancelled it. Kate’s storyline spoke to both of our gay-but-unaware ’90s teen lesbian souls, in large part because Kate’s relationship with Emaline just felt so real. Lots of people agreed with us. Lots and lots and lots of people. In a shocker, these two won our March Madness Best Kiss competition! You’ll always be our little Wonderwall, Kate Messner.

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Emma and Cruz, Vida

When Autostraddle Associate Editor Carmen Phillips recapped the season finale of Vida, she wrote, “Over the course of Vida’s first season, there have been quite a few moments where I had to pause the television slack jawed in disbelief and mutter to myself, ‘I can’t believe I’m lucky enough to see this on TV.'” And about their beautiful, blossoming relationship: “Listen, Emma never falls asleep at a hook up’s house. But with Cruz everything is safe, you know? It’s warm and gentle and soft. Emma’s built her whole world into sharp edges. Cruz brings out parts that she long thought she buried. And despite herself, she craves it.” And so did we!

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Mel and Niko, Charmed

The news that trickled in about the CW’s Charmed reboot over the course of this year surprised us in so many ways. That the main characters would all be Latinx, that one of them was going to be an out-and-proud lesbian, that she would have a girlfriend from the get-go. None of those facts prepared me for the biggest surprise of all: that I was going to fall in love with Mel and then Mel and Niko immediately, and that it was going to break my heart when Mel had to save her girlfriend by setting her free.

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Ruby and Sapphire, Steven Universe

Ruby and Sapphire have not stopped breaking ground since they showed up, individually, on our teeves. This year, they just went right on ahead and got married and kissed right on their cartoon mouths on primetime TV on Cartoon Network. Plus: masc Gems in dresses, femme Gems in tuxes, throwbacks to Ruby and Sapphire’s other most romantic moments. There were an awful lot of awful things we could have be thinking of, but for just one day we only thought about love.

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Waverly and Nicole, Wynonna Earp

We go now to our official WayHaught correspondent, Autostraddle Staff Writer Valerie Anne: In their third season together, Waverly and Nicole are a fully established couple with their own separate relationships with each of the other characters, their own roles in this wacky shitshow, the new Sheriff and a literal angel. We got to see a little more of a domestic side to them this year, having Big Gay Dinners and Nicole meeting Mama Earp, but they still had their fun (see: the Christmas episode) and there was never a moment of doubt that they’re head over heels in love. Plus, they may or may not have gotten engaged before Waverly got sucked into the Garden of Eden/Evil and Nicole went missing.

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Kat and Adena, The Bold Type

Kat and Adena went all this season, and while it didn’t end happily ever after, it was an excellent growing experience for Kat’s character — as a person who’d never been in a serious relationship and as a newly out queer lady. Plus theirs continued to be the most resonant relationship on the whole show.

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Grace and Anissa, Black Lightning

It’s wild to think that all of the first season of Black Lightning and half of the second season happened in 2018! And it’s a good thing, too, because if it’d just been season one, these two superheroes would never have made our list. Grace disappeared! Luckily, in season two, she returned to our screens and to Anissa’s loving arms. Their story is groundbreaking in so many ways, and so tender and so angsty and so sexy. We can’t get enough.

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Toni and Cheryl, Riverdale

Cheryl is another character who got a girlfriend because fans were reading her as queer and the actress who plays her (Madelaine Petsch) pushed for it. I believed in Toni and Cheryl from the second their paths crossed before that inexplicable drag race in season two. And look at them now! Toni broke Cheryl out of conversion therapy! Cheryl joined the Serpents! Just two Slytherin babes from opposite sides of the tracks, constantly saving each other from getting axe-murdered.

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Violet and Amelia, Harlots

Violet Cross and Amelia Scanwell’s love story is so star-crossed it makes my heart hurt just thinking about it — but it’s so wonderful, too. On paper, they have nothing in common, and their connection happened so slowly and subtly in season one it was hard to tell if it was really a thing or if I was just Seeing Gay People (again). But it did happen! And in season two, they got to explore their fraught connection further. If you haven’t read Riese’s review of season two, do that now, and I will quote it anyway: “Basically, what I’m telling you is that stories about sex workers are not niche, they are transcendent and universal, and often the truest and most enduring stories about Western Civilization ever told.”

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Yolanda and Arthie, G.L.O.W.

We were all so annoyed that the first season of G.L.O.W. was so dang gay without being gay. In season two, though, we got the real deal with Yolanda and Arthie. Yolanda knew she was gay and said it right away, and over and over until everyone was forced to get comfortable with it. Arthie didn’t have any queer feelings at all, until she shocked herself when she started feeling things for Yolanda. They wrestled each other, danced around their feelings, and finally kissed (on national TV!).

Princess Bubblegum and Marceline Smooch On-Screen, Live Happily Ever After in the “Adventure Time” Series Finale

Adventure Time‘s hour-long finale, “Come Along With Me,” was everything I hoped for (and more) — it was weird and sad and silly and funny and harrowing and so quietly profound I’ll be thinking about it probably forever. Which was really the point of it all. Yes, it was the end of the Ooo (kind of) (twice), and yes there were cameos and Easter eggs galore. Every major character had a moment, a coda, a semicolon ending. But mainly “Come Along With Me” said the thing Adventure Time‘s been saying all along: The stories we love will happen, happening, happened, and will happen again and again.

Nowhere was that theme more evident than in the interactions between Princess Bubblegum and Marceline, who — after dancing and laughing and bickering around each other for ten seasons about their past and their present and their past some more — FINALLY KISSED ON-SCREEN!

There are two major battles in Adventure Time‘s finale. The long-awaited Great Gum War between Princess Bubblegum and her Uncle Gumbald, which resolves pretty quickly with a dream-dive into everyone’s anxieties and fears and with Finn pleading for both of them to see the other’s humanity. And the much-alluded-to appearance of the being of pure destruction, GOLB, who starts smashing everything and everyone in sight as soon as he descends onto the planet. Princess Bubblegum is one of the many people (and bananas) who rushes at him, throwing her life on the line to save her friends and her kingdom. When PB gets conked on the noggin Marceline thinks she’s dead, and she goes berserk. She shifts into a raging demon and beats the bjork out of GOLB’s evolving form.

When Princess Bubblegum wakes up, Marceline rushes to her, wraps her up in the warmest embrace — even cradling her head — and says she was always afraid, when they were apart, that something would happen to Bonnie and she wouldn’t be there to save her. She doesn’t want to live like that anymore. And neither does Bonnibel. And so they smooch right on the lips, right there on the teevee.

I honestly never thought it would happen, and the story of how it finally did is very good. Executive producer Adam Muto talked to TVLine after the finale and said the way it was going to play out was up to story-boarder Hanna K. Nyströmthe. The script said Marcy and PB “have a moment” and when Hanna boarded it, she drew them kissing. The only note she wrote on her boards for the entire finale was one in the margin next to the kiss. It said “COME ON!” with a giant exclamation mark. And so the show finally did the dang thing. (Another great tidbit in that interview is Muto saying Marcy and PB’s relationship wasn’t in the original show pitch, and that Rebecca Sugar nurtured it into existence.)

Everyone ultimately fails at fighting GOLB, except for BMO, of course, who finds Jake curled up in fetal position in the wreckage of the tree house, scoops him up, and says, “How about today you let me be the papa?” and starts singing. They’re joined by Princess Bubblegum and Marceline who immediately sing along. It’s the only thing that hurts GOLB. He’s discord. They’re harmony. “My art is a weapon!” BMO yells, shaking their fist. Everyone joins in on their song, in the end, and as her one final act, Betty sacrifices herself so that Simon (really Simon!) can live.

“Come Along With Me,” itself, is happening, happened. King BMO is telling it to Shermy and Beth the Pup Princess, thousands of years later. I won’t share everyone’s last scene, but I’ll share Princess Bubblegum and Marceline’s — they’re snuggled up in bed together: pajamas, cups of tea, watching a puppet show. I could say they lived happily ever after, but Adventure Time says time is an illusion. The Great Gum War and GOLB’s attack, they were only pretty much the end of Ooo. The end of the Ooo we knew when we first met it. None of the characters on Adventure Time ever felt confined to the stories we saw them in; their journeys and relationships and feelings and failings stretched out behind them and in front of them, past the parameters of our TVs.

Shermy and Beth the Pup Princess want to know what happened to Finn (Phil) and Jake after the end? What happened to Princess Bubblegum? To everyone? BMO taps their fingers together, shrugs. “Well, they kept living their lives.”

The Top 12 Lesbian and Bisexual TV Fever Dreams

TV dream sequences are always tricky, and especially so when it comes to lesbian and bisexual characters, because more often that not dreams are used as a way to stage a little bit of fan service that can simply be hand-waved away when the sleeping character wakes up. Networks sometimes even use those dream sequences as queer-bait to lure is into their heterosexual traps! The best TV dream sequences reveal something about a character’s subconscious that we didn’t know, or that we suspected but hadn’t seen confirmed; they divulge a character’s deep secrets to the audience, or to the character herself, and then allow her a chance to act on the truths her sleeping mind pummeled her with. Also, usually the sex is really good.

Below are 12 of the best lesbian and bisexual TV dream sequences.

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Petra and JR — Jane the Virgin episode 410: “Chapter Seventy-Four”

Petra knew something was going on with her and Jane Ramos, but she couldn’t quite admit to herself exactly what that something was — until she dreamed JR at her door, leaning against the frame, talking about getting her off and also getting her off. Petra is shocked and delighted when she wakes up from making out with JR, and immediately finds a way to act on her latent lady-loving leanings.

Ellen — Ellen episode 422: “The Puppy Episode Part 2”

The second part of the most famous coming out episode in TV history opens with a dream of Ellen in the supermarket. Laura Dern’s walking by holding cantaloupes to her chest talking about “melons are on sale!” and k.d. lang is there winking and there’s a clerk with an alternative lifestyle haircut and a bowtie offering Ellen granola samples and the woman on the PA announces there’s a lesbian on aisle five. Ellen recounts the dream to her therapist, Oprah, and asks if she thinks she should read anything into it. It’s the first time Ellen says out loud what’s going on inside her head and heart (later, of course, she accidentally yells it into a microphone at the airport).

Willow and Tara — Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode 422: “Restless”

“Restless” is a fan-favorite episode of Buffy, especially among queer fans. Willow’s specific dream opens with her painting one of Sappho’s poems on Tara’s naked back while she muses that it’s okay they haven’t found a name for their cat yet; she’s not fully grown. The rest of the dream forces Willow to confront her fears about coming out and her worries that she hasn’t changed at all since high school and that Oz and Tara would be better off without her, even possibly better with each other. It’s heartbreaking and illuminating and oh so real.

Bette and Shane and Tina and Helena — The L Word episode 502: “Look Out, Here They Come”

You could argue that the entirety of The L Word season five is someone‘s fever dream. (Maybe mine?) There’s a lot of metacommentary and winking and nodding at the audience. One of the best and weirdest and funniest fan service moments of the whole show happens when the Lez Girls producer starts dreaming up couple combos and pitching them to Tina and Jenny. How about Bette and Shane? How about Bette and Helena? How about Tina and Shane? That one sends Jenny over the edge. It’s not a sleeping dream, but it’s definitely a collective fandom dream, and that’s good enough for me.

Mona and Alison — Pretty Little Liars episode 513: “How the ‘A’ Stole Christmas”

With a defter showrunning hand and less chasing after Twitter trends, Pretty Little Liars could have been one of the most consistently satisfying dreamscape shows on TV. Its very best episodes were fully Lynchian, which makes sense: Alison DiLaurentis is very much Laura Palmer’s offspring. One of the show’s most fun dream sequences happened after Mona’s death and before her resurrection, when she returned to Rosewood to haunt Alison as an omniscient Christmas ghost. There was always something antagonistically queer about their relationship, and Ali always seemed both threatened and delighted by the way Mona was the only person who could outsmart her. Mona guides Ali through her past and through her future, teaching her and chiding her and looking like the most beautiful unhinged snow witch the whole entire time.

Marceline and Princess Bubblegum — Adventure Time episode 711, “Take Her Back”

Near the end of Stakes, Marceline’s very own mini-series, she almost dies, and in those moments while Princess Bubblegum is holding her and begging her to wake up, she dreams something as honest as the first song she sang on the show: She and Bonnibell have grown up and old and they’re together. Together-together. That last thing Marcy says in the mini-series is that she wants what she saw in the dream. To be with PB, forever.

Amy and Karma — Faking It episode 210: “Busted”

This is the most queer-baity dream sequence I can ever remember and it made queer fandom want to set this show on fire. But! I am a forever Karmy shipper and I can’t help it. I love this dream! In the season two midseason finale Amy goes camping with Reagan and it seems like she has finally gotten over Karma and is ready to be with someone who wants to really be with her and also who knows she’s gay. Reagan crawls on top of her and they start having sex and when Amy opens her eyes it’s Karma on top of her. They do their “whoa” “I know” thing and then Amy blinks and she’s in bed with Liam but really it’s Karma in bed with Liam and maybe she was the one dreaming the thing? Or maybe she and Amy were dreaming the same gay dream?! No one ever really knew what the heck was going on here, even the world’s most famous Faking It recapper, Riese Bernard.

Root and Shaw — Person of Interest episode 504: “6,741”

“6,741” is generally regarded by mainstream critics as one of the best dream sequence episodes of TV ever, and it’s generally regarded by lesbian critics as one of the best queer episodes of TV ever. It’s very, very good. After leaning into the subtext over the years, “6,741” finally went there with Root and Shaw. They slept together and caressed each other’s faces and Root even called Shaw “baby”(!!!!!!). At the end of the episode it turns out Shaw is dreaming the whole thing, in captivity, and has in fact dreamed nearly this same thing — Root saving her, Root loving her, Root fighting with and for her — over six thousand times! It’s heartbreaking and harrowing and so romantic it makes me want to hurl myself off a cliff into the ocean!

Sestras — Orphan Black episode 301: “The Weight of This Combination”

Orphan Black‘s third season opens with Helena trapped in a box with a talking scorpion, but we don’t know that at first because we’re seeing inside her mind where her sestras are throwing her a surprisingly sweet baby shower: Felix is grilling ox liver and Cosima is maybe Frida Kahlo and Alison has cooked a million cupcakes and the sun is shining and everyone loves her and her babies are going to be okay. There’s nothing explicitly queer about this, besides the fact that Cosima’s in it, but I’m counting it because it’s an exemplary dream sequence that opens up a character to the audience in a new way and I’ll never get over that all these women are Tatiana Maslany. Never!

Jenny and Madame Vastra and River Song — Doctor Who episode 713: “The Name of the Doctor”

You put River Song, Madame Vastra, and Jenny in a room together and it’s going to make every list I ever make. Best people sitting at a table. Best people drinking champagne. Best people getting attacked by monsters. Best people being people. (And one lizard women from the dawn of time.) In “The Name of the Doctor,” the three of them plus Strax plus Clara enter the dreamscape to discuss some troubling news about the Doctor’s ultimate demise, and while they’re in there Jenny gets attacked and killed. Vastra flips out and might as well have punched through my chest and pulled my heart out of my body for how badly her pain hurt me! Through the sheer force of Vastra’s will and rage, Jenny is resurrected! And, of course, my beloved bisexual semi-Time Lord, River Song, saves the whole entire day (as usual).

Bo — Lost Girl episode 203: “Scream a Little Dream”

We knew a little bit about Bo after season one of Lost Girl, but we didn’t really know her. “Scream a Little Dream” takes us inside her mind and shows us her deepest, darkest fears. That she’ll outlive everyone she loves. That they’re better off without her. That she’ll never really be part of a found family. That they’re only tolerating her. That she’ll never experience real, lasting love. It’s like a series of Dementor attacks that just won’t quit. (Actually, that’s almost exactly what it is: a Dark Fae is feeding off of her nightmares to stay alive.) She finally beats it back with the help of a Light Fae, but not before revealing how very human she is to herself and to the audience.

Kat and Leila — The Bold Type episode 205: “Stride of Pride”

I’m going to call this “best” because: 1) It completely faked me out! I thought Kat was cheating with Adena’s friend! And 2) There’s this thing that broadcast network TV shows have often done with bisexual characters which is give them one woman love interest, and when that woman leaves, their bisexuality is never mentioned or explored ever again. The number of times Riese and I rolled our eyeballs out of our head being forced to put Angela from Bones on a list of queer characters is in the hundreds. Kat being interested in other women (and men, as she showed in season one) is good progress! This dream was ultimately the catalyst that led to Adena and Kat exploring the things that ended their relationship, and that’s a sad business, but drama is inevitable on television and at some point every youth has to deal with the fact that dream sex isn’t cheating.

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What are some of your favorite lesbian and bisexual TV fever dreams?

Come on, Grab Your Friends and Relive Adventure Time’s 14 Queerest Episodes

On September 3rd, Cartoon Network will say goodbye to Adventure Time. The show is ending its ten-season run quietly, despite spawning legions of fans and board games and video games and merch and cosplayers and YouTube covers and comic con panels over the last eight years. That doesn’t mean the cult following isn’t sad about it: Rebecca Sugar brought the entire cast and the entire room to tears at San Diego Comic-Con when she performed the song she wrote for the series finale (and okay fine it brought me to tears when I watched it this morning!). It’d be easy here in 2018, when Steven Universe has pushed queer representation farther than any all-ages show in history, to write off Adventure Time‘s mostly subtextual gayness as a relic, but I think that’d be a mistake. Adventure Time made great strides for gay fans, especially in the comic books where homophobic overseas TV markets weren’t a production concern. And in the end, the show canonized its subtext. So before we bid Ooo adieu, let’s look back and celebrate Adventure Time‘s queerest moments.

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“Go With Me” (Episode 220 // March 2011)

Rebecca Sugar one time described Adventure Time in a way that perfectly describes how Marcy and PB’s relationship was portrayed on the show: “Sublime art is unframeable: It’s an image or idea that implies that there’s a bigger image or idea that you can’t see: You’re only getting to look at a fraction of it, and in that way it’s both beautiful and scary, because it’s reminding you that there’s more that you don’t have access to.” Not only does that sentiment come in to play much later in the the Stakes mini-series; it’s exactly how we meet these two gal pals re-meeting each other for the first time. Marceline’s helping Finn ask Bubblegum out on a date. When PB sees her outside the castle window, she scowls and Marceline waves and calls her “Bonnibel.” Such caustic, sassy familiarity! They have a history and it’s fraught and this is where we find out about it! (Also: Marceline is the first — and only — character to call PB her by her first name. Sometimes she even shortens it to “Bonnie.”)

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“What Was Missing” (Episode 310 // September 2011)

“What Was Missing” is the episode that really launched this ship, and how could it not? Finn and Jake and Marceline and PB are trying to open a door by singing true songs at it. Marceline starts strumming her axe-bass and talking about drinking the blood from someone’s pretty pink face, and when Bubblegum criticizes her for it, she launches into “I’m Just Your Problem.” Sorry I’m not made of sugar / Am I not sweet enough for you? / Is that why you always avoid me? / That must be such an inconvenience to you. She silences everyone, but that truth door sure does open right up for her angry, heartbroken lyrics.

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Marceline and the Scream Queens (June 2013)

This six-part comic book mini-series is when things with Bubbline make the leap from subtext to maintext. PB joins Marceline on the road with her paranormal rock band. Rumors of PB’s relationship with another band member make Marceline nuts and she ends up fighting with her ex-girlfriend about them, and that’s just the beginning of their push-pull candy-dance around each other, trading barbs and compliments and blushes in equal measure. PB saves the band and the day because she really believes in Marceline, and that forces Marceline to believe in herself.

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“Sky Witch” (Episode 529 // July 2013)

And here’s where that maintext finally lands on television! In one of the most romantic TV episodes of any show ever, Princess Bubblegum wakes up in a t-shirt Marceline gave her, buries her face in it, inhales the scent of it, and pops a pullover on top of it to wear it around underneath her princess clothes all day. Marcy ends up coaxing her away on a quest to steal her beloved childhood bear, Hambo, back from the Sky Witch, who won’t give him up because her power is fueled by sentimental value, and this bear survived the actual apocalypse. And so PB gives her Marceline’s t-shirt as a trade. “Sentimental freshness,” the Sea Witch cackles, throwing the sleeve of the shirt into her cauldron. “The psychic resonance of Hambo is nothing compared to this baby!”

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“Varmints” (Episode 702 // November 2015)

“Varmints” takes a literal deep dive into Bonnie and Marcy’s relationship, sending them into the Rock Candy Mines where they used to hang out before Bonnie got too busy ruling her kingdom. There’s even some gay graffiti down there that they made together. They’re in the mines because PB in in self-proclaimed exile and trying to grow a pumpkin patch but the varmints keep sabotaging her. “I’m crazy tired, Marceline; I think I have been for a long time,” PB says when they get back to her cabin. Marcy promises to watch for varmints while PB naps, just for 15 minutes, which she does with her head on Marcy’s shoulder.

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Stakes Mini-Series (Episodes 706 – 713 // November 2015)

In Marceline’s very own eight-episode mini-series she decides she wants to cure her vampirism, so of course she goes to PB for help. She doesn’t count on the beasts she’s going to unleash when she becomes mortal again, or how it’s going to force her to confront her depression and trauma and romantic feelings for her best friend. PB saves her over and over, with science and with fighting and with affection. During their demon-destroying adventures Marceline gets a weird feeling in her stomach that she knows isn’t fear. It’s love. And so, after Finn declares his love to PB because of a delicious sandwich, Marceline sneaks in a declaration too. She fever dreams them growing old together, Bonnibell kissing her on her forehead in a rocking chair. She has to take on her vampire form again, in the end, and says: “Being mortal was good, but at the same time, it was terrifying. Now I’m a vampire with fresh mortal memories and, I dunno, more empathy or something. More grown-up. Bonnie, thank you for helping me grow up. Now I guess we get to hang out together forever.” Bonnie, she blushes!

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“Marcy & Hunson” (Episode 907 // December 2017)

Marceline’s daddy issues and undercut (both gay!) are back in this season nine episode that brings her songs about Princess Bubblegum full circle. At a concert that includes Finn and Jake and her dad, she sings her first real love song. Slow dance with you / I just wanna slow dance with you / I know all the other boys are tough and smooth / And I got the blues / I wanna slow dance with you. 

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If the series finale is gay, you know I’ll be back to talk about it! In the meantime, what are your favorite queer moments from Adventure Time‘s ten season run?

The 15 Gayest Pop Songs of 2017

One of the things that’s constantly made me feel better, even when I was at my lowest lows this year, was pop music. How did we get lucky enough to have such a huge number of queer pop stars? We’ve got Tegan and Sara, of course, but also Hayley Kiyoko, Demi Lovato, Lauren Jauregui, Kehlani, Kesha, Halsey, Mary Lambert, Babeo Baggins and more! This is great! We’re taking over the industry, the future is queer! Here are fifteen of my favorite pop songs that made me feel queer feelings this year. (These aren’t ranked in any particular order.)

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1. “Strangers” by Halsey ft. Lauren Jauregui

“She doesn’t kiss me on the mouth anymore, cause it’s more intimate than she thinks we should get” Halsey sings in the opening line to this and we already know what we’re in for. Two openly bisexual pop stars of color collaborated on this song that has no ambiguity about being all about queer heartbreak.

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2. “Know Your Name” by Mary Lambert

A stunner of a pop song about a new crush with a stunner of a music video featuring Mary Lambert’s own queer posse as she tries to catch up with her mysterious crush played by Sara Ramirez.

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3. “Nineteen” by Hayley Williams (Originally by Tegan and Sara)

A part of The Con X Covers album celebrating the tenth anniversary of the groundbreaking queer album, this new version by the lead singer of Paramore manages to keep every single ounce of tearjerking from the original but somehow makes it more haunting.

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4. “Feelings” by Hayley Kiyoko

Hayley Kiyoko is the future of queer pop. She’s already had massive success with her queer anthems “Sleepover,” “Gravel to Tempo” and of course “Girls Like Girls,” and she hasn’t even released her debut album yet. Our girl came through for us again this year, with “Feelings,” a theme song for all the queer girls who never learned how to play it cool. “Feelings” is a song for those of us who wear our rainbow hearts on our sleeves.

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5. “Bad at Love” by Halsey

Bisexual superstar Halsey is back, this time on her own, and this time loudly and proudly bi in her lyrics. She sings both about ex boyfriends and ex girlfriends in this smash hit that’s still climbing the charts. Guys, a song about being bisexual has 54 million views on Youtube. That’s amazing.

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6. “Cut to the Feeling” by True Gay Icon Carly Rae Jepsen

If my life were a song, I’d want it to be this one. It has a soaring chorus, a pounding beat, and lyrics that cut straight to the feeling of being love. Just listen to Carly Rae sing “I wanna dance on the roof, you and me alone” and “I wanna wake up with you all in tangles, oh” and try to not believe in love.

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7. “Honey” by Kehlani

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNzyLg20kUY

Damn, this song is sexy. Kehlani’s voice accompanied by a simple guitar sounds like a warm summer picnic with your best gal where you’re sharing grapes and wine and soft, soft kisses.

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8. “Nights with You” by MØ

This is easily the most confusing song of the year. The female singer starts off telling her female best friend that she’s gorgeous, then tells her she’ll do anything to make her smile, “don’t care about your boyfriend waking up alone” and that she wants to spend all her nights with you. That’s gay, but the singer says it’s not? But really, that’s gay.

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9. “Sorry Not Sorry” by Demi Lovato

This song is for every lesbian, bisexual lady or queer person who was dumped or cheated on or mistreated this year. Demi knows how you feel, and more importantly, she knows how you want to feel. You want to feel powerful and strong and unapologetic. And that’s what this song is all about.

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10. “Bad Liar” by Selena Gomez

Selena’s song might not be iconically queer on it’s own (although it is pretty relatable to hear her sing about how she can’t hide her crush), but in the music video she decided to play all the parts, including a high school student who has a crush on her female gym teacher. And girl, does she play gay real well.

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11. “Praying” by Kesha

Kesha’s comeback this year was one of the greatest stories in all of pop culture, and this was the song that kicked it all off and showed us just how strong she was. With one brilliant song Kesha not only blew us all away, but she shut down her rapist and abuser, gave strength to women everywhere and announced her return in a big way.

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12. “Gorgeous” by Taylor Swift

T-Swift has had some pretty gay songs before, but this is her gayest. In it she sings about how the person she sees in the club is  waaayyyyy too gorgeous for her to handle. She’s mad at her feelings, like a closeted girl trying to deny that she likes a girl. “You should think the consequence of you touching my hand in a darkened room,” come on.

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13. “Want You Back” by Haim

Haim has been a favorite in the queer girl scene for a while now, but it wasn’t until this song that I finally got them, and boy howdy I get them now. In a lot of ways this is the opposite of “Sorry Not Sorry” so no matter how you feel about your breakup, we’ve got you covered. Also, the dancing in the video is cute! I love it!

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14. “Take Me” by Aly and AJ

Ummmmm wow, this video and song. It’s campy, it’s catchy, but most importantly, it’s hottttttttt. The sisters and former Disney stars play a pair of 70’s style vampires singing a plea to their potential victims to invite them on a date, where they say “I know that you would want it, if I could sink my teeth into you.” It’s a bop and a banger.

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15. “Slow Dance With Me” by Babeo Baggins and Marceline the Vampire Queen

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xDsVy36q6Es

I’m saving my current favorite for last. Babeo Baggins is my current number #1 celebrity crush and they knocked it out of the park with this song about yearning and and hope and wanting to be enough for that girl you like to like you back. The fact that it was then used in an episode of Adventure Time where Marceline the Gay Vampire Queen sings it makes it one of my favorite pop culture moments of the year. Thank you Babeo.

The 17 Most Romantic Lesbian and Bisexual TV Moments of 2017

A lot more women than usual kissed each other on our teeves this year! Some of them even did so with the lights on! But those weren’t the only swoon-y things that we watched (over and over and over again) in 2017. There were songs and bike races and hot air balloon rides and promises of forever and allusions to some of the most romantic tropes and movies of all times. These were some of the 16 most romantic lesbian and bisexual things of the year.

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Marceline sings a new song for Princess Bubblegum, Adventure Time

Heather: On the way to Marci’s house with her dad, Finn and Jake said “maybe” she has a girlfriend, and then when they showed up she was lounging around in Princess Bubblegum’s sweater from the “Stakes” mini-series. Off they went to Marceline’s solo concert where she sang her most — her only? — romantic song ever, “Slow Dance With You.” Quite a journey with PB from “I’m Just Your Problem.”

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Niska and Astrid fall in love against all odds, Humans

Valerie: “Nika and Astrid’s issues weren’t what you would expect — it wasn’t a Synth/human scandal, it wasn’t a woman/woman scandal. It was Niska running away from her feelings (which had more to do with feelings being new than anything else) and Astrid not letting her. It was a surprising happy place amid the carnage, and even though so many people — humans and Synths alike — didn’t survive the season, our lady-loving ladies miraculously did.”

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Alex and Maggie’s first morning after, Supergirl

Heather: After fighting their feelings for each other for months (and a lifetime of Alex fighting her feelings for girls), Maggie and Alex had sex for the first time and woke up the next morning dappled in sunlight, dressed in each other’s clothes, smooching contentment and disbelief. To be honest I kind of couldn’t believe it was happening either.

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Tessa and Mariah’s first kiss, The Young and the Restless

Natalie: “The racing heart, the long conversations that are never, ever long enough, the regret of any day spent apart. Mariah feels all of that, she just doesn’t feel it for Devon. It is not a small thing for Y&R to cast Mariah’s love for Tessa in the same mold as one of the show’s great supercouples, Nick and Sharon. It’s a normalizing force for a conservative audience that might not view a same-sex story that way.”

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Kat and Adena’s Before Sunrise escapades, The Bold Type

Heather: Kat and Adena are my favorite TV couple of 2017 and while they have plenty of swoon-y moments to choose from, their blanket fort escapades in the airport the night before Adena was deported were my favorite. Even the title of the episode was drawn from Richard Linklater’s Before Sunrise, one of the most romantic movies of all time. I was willing to suspends all my disbelief for this episode, including Kat and Adena having uninterrupted sex in the airport lounge, a full night of sleep in each other’s arms, and Kat not giving Adena her first class ticket when she decided to stay in NYC.

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Gail and Erica Get Married, The Last Man On Earth

Riese: Gail and Erica’s relationship was initially written off as a thing they did before realizing they weren’t the only human beings left on earth, but eventually after three seasons of other pursuits, their union revealed itself to be the truest and most honest thing either had ever known.

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Paige and Emily’s last bike race, Pretty Little Liars

Heather: This was some hardcore Paily fanservice and, let me tell you, for suffering through the last few seasons of this show, we deserved it. Bikes? Check. Musical montage? Check. Camera swirling kissing? Check. It wasn’t going to last and everyone knew it, but for a shining moment everything was right in Rosewood again.

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Odessa asks Tilda to run away with her, Into the Badlands

Valerie: “I’ve mentioned before that too often kisses between two women are cast entirely in shadow, or are a quick peck in the middle of a camera transition. But not here, not now. The camera loves them and the music swells lovingly and the light glows softly as they kiss and kiss and kiss. Meanwhile I am pressing my hands to my face so hard my eyeballs almost pop out of my head. Everything’s fine. EVERYTHING’S FINE.”

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Tig and Stephanie’s whole storyline, One Mississippi

Heather: Look, do not fall in love with a straight girl. But if you do make sure it’s your soul mate. I know, I know, Stephanie’s not straight, but she sure thought she was for a long time, even though me and you and Tig knew she was very much in love with another woman and therefore was not straight. When she finally confessed it, Tig said, “…but?” And Stephanie said, “No, but. Just … and.” And I for one have still not recovered.

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Zoë and Rasha’s first kiss, Degrassi: The Next Class

Riese: There were so many fraught elements to this union — Rasha, a Muslim Syrian refugee, was scared to come out to her host family, which included their classmate Goldie, and Zoe didn’t know if Rasha was gay or not, and they were both just generally young and nervous and insecure. When their first actual date gets so complicated it ends up ending before it begins, Rasha fears their union is doomed, telling Zoe it’s okay if she’d like to call it off, after all, Zoe is fearless and beautiful and can have any girl she wants! Zoe is like, wait, YOU ESCAPED ACTUAL WAR JUST TO BE ON “DEGRASSI THE NEXT CLASS” AND YOU’RE CALLING ME FEARLESS? Then Rasha kisses her. I didn’t want to be afraid anymore, she says, as melodic acoustic hipster music swelled and the light hits their faces just so. Young love, y’all. Sweet and against all odds and despite all closets and obstacles and fears, there we have it.

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Cosima and Delphine’s clone-saving mission, Orphan Black

Heather: Delphine sacrificed everything for Cosima, and to keep her promise to keep Cosima’s sestras safe — and the whole time everyone kept expecting her to reveal that she the ultimate bad guy. Well, not only did that turn out to be untrue, we actually got to watch her and Cosima join forces and work together to save the day. The episode also included their sexiest makeout and Cosima in this tux.

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Waverly and Nicole fall in love in a parallel dimension, Wynonna Earp

Heather: Two women falling in love in alternate universes where they’re with completely different people and don’t even know each other is what fan fiction dreams are made of. If Waverly and Nicole had had to take off their clothes to share their body heat to stay alive in this episode, it would have been the most romantic moment in all history on any space-time continuum.

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Lyria asked Eretria to be her queen, The Shannara Chronicles

Heather: In another year one or both of them would be dead, but not now! And even better, when Lyria was asking Eretria to be her queen she said they deserved a happy ending. “People like us,” she said. (Like you and like me!) They’re not together yet because Eretria has to get a handle on her darkness, but their sweet, slow kiss goodbye felt more like a pause. And it didn’t end with anyone getting shot with a stray bullet.

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Stef and Lena’s Notebook-style makeout, The Fosters

Heather: Stef and Lena have gotten married so many times now and every new time it’s better than the last. This most recent one, especially, because it started raining and all their million kids and their guests rushed inside but they just stood out in it open-mouthed kissing each other and promising forever.

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Amelia and Violet’s second kiss, Harlots

Riese: Amelia had been raised by her evangelist mother to see sex itself as evil, let alone women having sex for money, let alone falling in love with a woman who has sex for money and then kissing her on the mouth! So when Violet kissed Amelia after a gradual sexual tension build, it wasn’t surprising that Amelia immediately freaked out — which made Amelia’s return to Violet, and her eager kiss, that much sweeter.

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Nomi and Amanita get engaged, Sense 8

Sense8 was cancelled way too soon, but in the season two finale, Nomi and Amanita did get engaged! Jamie Clayton’s post-season interview with The Hollywood Reporter was almost as beautiful as the on-screen moment. “It’s just another testament to the strength of their relationship and how they’re on the same page. That’s the beauty of love. Even if you take two different roads, if you end up at the same place, that’s the most important part about love,” she said.

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Honorable Mention Even Though They’re Not Technically Gay: Grace and Frankie take a hot air balloon ride, Grace & Frankie

Riese and Erin: “When Frankie tells Grace she might be moving to Santa Fe, everything gets much gayer very quickly. Everything gays right out of control. Every word spoken is a word unspoken, and also a word that could easily precede the words “you have to stay because I am in love with you.”

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As always these are the individual opinions of our writers and editors and we’d love to hear your additions, preferably bolded and in all caps with as many exclamation points as possible!!!!

Top 11 Times This Year Pop Culture Reminded Us Kids Are Queer and Trans Too

One of my absolute favorite things to write about is queer representation in all-ages and young adult media. Being young and queer can be super confusing, and if you don’t know where to find other people like you, it can be super lonely and super depressing. If you can’t find anyone who’s like you and your age, you might turn to books, TV, movies, comics or other media to try to find someone, anyone, who reflects you back at yourself. We need to see ourselves, we need to see possibilities for our future.

I’m going to keep on championing queer representation in all-ages media until my dying breath. As long as queer kids are taking their own lives, as long as young lesbians are told that their crushes on other girls are just fleeting feelings that all straight girls have and as long as trans girls as young as age six are treated as sexual deviants who shouldn’t be allowed to use the bathroom, we’re going to need TV shows, comic books, novels and all sorts of other media that counters the dangerous and misleading information queer kids hear every day. These are some of the best examples of that from this past year.

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1. The Legend of Korra has Korra and Asami Portal Off Into the Sunset

This technically happened in late December, but the shock waves are still being felt. After four seasons of fans shipping the main character, Korra, with one of the members of Team Avatar, Asami, in this cartoon sequel to Avatar: The Last Airbender, the show’s creators rewarded their patience by ending the show with the two women holding hands and walking into a portal to the Spirit World together. If this wasn’t clear enough, the showrunners confirmed that the two were a couple and that both were bisexual. Although their relationship wasn’t shown very explicitly on the actual show, this was the first time many young queer people (and especially queer people of color) got to see someone like them end up in a happy relationship on a show designed for them.

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2. Jeff on Clarence has Two Moms

In the Cartoon Network show Clarence, one of the main character’s best friends has two moms. Jeff’s two moms, EJ and Sue, first showed up last December in the episode “Jeff Wins,” and have reappeared, including this summer in the episode “Breehn Ho!” While they’re far from main characters on the show, they still go a long way in helping queer kids, and kids with two moms feel less alone.

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3. Princeless introduces a Queer Pirate Princess

The all-ages comic book series Princeless has long been showing girls that they can be whatever or whomever they want to be, including their own heroes. With the introduction of a new princess, Raven Xingtao, to the series, the book also sent the message that girls who like girls deserve to have heroes too. Raven is the daughter of the Pirate King, and in her first appearances, she develops a crush on Adrienne, the series’ protagonist. While that crush didn’t work out, Raven is now starring in her own series, Raven: The Pirate Princess, meant for slightly older readers, where she gets to continue to go on adventures and flirt with fellow female pirates.

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4. Help Us! Great Warrior Shows that Trans Women can be Great Warriors Too

This limited series, written and illustrated by Madeleine Flores and with colors by Trillian Gunn, was a super fun fantasy comic that featured Leo, a trans girl of color, as the best friend and co-warrior to the titular Great Warrior. This comic is great for young readers and makes it clear that Leo is trans without being awkward about it and without putting her through any pain because of it. While it’s important to show that trans women are often the targets of violence and oppression, it’s also good to show that sometimes being trans is just one part of who a person is and it doesn’t always mean sadness and fear.

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5. Steven Universe Loudly Becomes the Queerest Show on TV

When it comes to Steven Universe, there’s a lot to say. Early in the year, in the episode “Alone, Together,” Steven and his best friend, a girl named Connie, fuse into one person, the wonderfully genderqueer Stevonnie, who looks a little feminine of gender-neutral and uses “they” pronouns. Then, in the episode “Jail Break,” we find out that one of the Crystal Gems, Garnet, is really a fusion of two gems, Ruby and Sapphire, who are so in love with each other that they prefer to always be fused. This character is literally two small lesbians combined into one big lesbian.

As we learn more about other characters on the show, we see that another one of the Gems, Pearl, has long held strong romantic, but unrequited, feelings toward Steven’s mother Rose Quartz. In another episode, Steven proudly and gleefully puts on a friend’s skirt and crop top and sings and dances on stage. This isn’t played for laughs or to be weird; this is Steven having a great time and expressing himself. Finally, at the end of the season, a new Gem, Peridot, joins the team. After formerly being an enemy, she straight up romantic-comedy-style tackles another Gem, Amethyst, and looks down at her, blushing. These alien space rocks are just really, really gay.

This is a show for kids and about kids (and some alien space rocks), and it has more queer characters than just about any other show on TV. And these characters are mostly coded as women of color. And they all get complex, fleshed-out, well-written storylines. Compared to what was allowed just a year or two ago on cartoons, Steven Universe is in a completely different universe.

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6. Peach and Plum share a kiss and Become a Couple in Bravest Warriors #33

Kate Leth and Ian McGinty had been having Peach and Plum, two female characters in their Bravest Warriors comic, flirt with each other ever since Peach was introduced in issue #26. This series is based on the animated web series created by Adventure Time’s Pendleton Ward, making it yet another franchise (along with Adventure Time and Steven Universe, created by former AT writer and artist Rebecca Sugar) that branched out from that series and features queer women in all-ages media. This comic went a step farther than a lot of other cartoons and all-ages comics and actually had Plum, one of the main characters, kiss Peach, right there on the page.

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7. Trans Teenager Jazz Jennings Gets a TV Show

Jazz Jennings has long been in the spotlight, making speeches, fighting for her rights and even co-writing a children’s book, but this year she took the next step when she and her family starred in a reality show for TLC. I Am Jazz followed her as she struggled to fit in, figure out if she wanted to date, and face the fact that she would be starting high school soon. Seeing a real-life trans girl go through a lot of the same struggles that other trans girls go through, all while her family stood right beside her is a huge thing for trans kids who want to know that they’ll be okay. The series was just picked up for a second season.

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8. Lumberjanes, Already Full of Queer Characters, Has Jo Come Out as Trans

Lumberjanes was already an excellent, groundbreaking and pretty queer book when issue #17 came out and forever changed the face of trans representation in comics. In this issue, Jo, one of the protagonists of the book, has a conversation with Barney, a Scouting Lad who’s been hanging out with the girls and talking about how he feels like he doesn’t know where he belongs. Jo offers support and understanding and tells him that he reminds her of a younger version of herself, a version of herself if she hadn’t been allowed to be the girl that she is. This issue was one of the best of the year, and Jo is the most prominent trans character ever in an all-ages comic.

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9. Nimona is a Finalist for a National Book Award

This graphic novel by Noelle Stevenson, one of the writers for Lumberjanes, is about a shapeshifting girl and the villain and hero whose lives she interrupts. It’s an excellent look at identity, different ways to be a girl, good and evil and sharks with boobs. Nimona very deservedly made a bunch of Best Of lists and was one of just a handful of graphic novels or comics to ever be nominated for a National Book Award. Additionally, Stevenson is the youngest ever finalist. To have such a prestigious award recognize a book like this helps to show people that books by and for queer women aren’t just niche, they can be mainstream.

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10. Maggie Thrash Talks About Coming Out at Camp in Honor Girl

Maggie Thrash’s memoir, Honor Girl, is one of the best books to come out this year, and one of the best memoirs I’ve ever read. It picks right up in the tradition of Fun Home and Skim in crafting a genius work of graphic storytelling about a queer girl coming of age. While the story of falling in love with a female counselor at summer camp, becoming a top target shooter and dealing with being queer in a place that isn’t queer friendly is all Thrash’s, the book will resonate with queer women everywhere.

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11. Best-Selling YA Author James Dawsom Comes Out as a Trans Woman

In October, James Dawson (who is still using the name James and “he” pronouns for now), one of the best selling YA authors in England, announced that he is a trans woman and will start transitioning. It’s a big deal to see someone with such a bright profile in the world of YA Lit come out publicly as a trans woman, and hopefully, many of readers will be inspired by him to either come out themselves or be better allies.

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12. Adventure Time Miniseries “Stakes” Goes Deeper into Marceline and Bubblegum’s Relationship

In a lot of ways Bubblegum and Marceline are the cat-rescuing, vegan farm-owning lesbian grandmas of the all-ages crowd. People have been considering them canonically queer since way back in 2011. This year, we saw the miniseries “Stakes,” which explored Marceline the Vampire Queen’s past, her present identity crisis and her future relationship with Bubblegum. There were a lot of longing glances and fond caresses and a really cute scene where Marceline dreams of the two of them growing old together.

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This year was a pretty good one for queer representation in all-ages media, but there’s always a need for more. Hopefully, by this time next year, we’ll look back at 2015 and laugh at the thought that this is what was considered “a lot of queer characters” in cartoons, comics and books for kids.

“Adventure Time” Lets Marceline And Princess Bubblegum Grow Up (And Old) Together

Even though it boasts a dozen slang terms for the word butt — hams, patoot, buns, stumps, beans, funky junk — Cartoon Network’s Adventure Time is one of the most grown-up shows on TV. Not “grown-up” like “sex and violence”; grown up like asking enormous, subjective questions. “What does being a hero look like in a world where good and evil aren’t black and white?” And, “What makes life worth living?” And, “How do you find your purpose?” And, simply, “What does it actually mean to be a grown-up?” Adventure Time started with 12-year-old Finn, the only human boy who survived the Mushroom War in Ooo, and his best friend/foster brother/shape-shifting dog/roommate, Jake; and has evolved into a show about their chosen family. Things don’t stay the same in Ooo. Finn is 16 now and as he wrestles with what it means to grow into an adult, so do his friends.

Season seven, which kicked off in early November, has focused much of its existential storytelling on Princess “Bonnibel” Bubblegum and her gal pal, Marceline the Vampire Queen, culminating in Adventure Time‘s first mini-series, Stakes. The eight-episode endeavor colored in some of Marceline’s past, answered lots of questions about her relationship with Bonnie, and promised her a richer future. It also explored the loneliness and listlessness both PB and Marcie have grappled with as they’ve moved from childhood into adulthood.

Former Adventure Time story-boarder (and Steven Universe creator/showrunner) Rebecca Sugar one time summed up the brilliance of Adventure Time by saying:

“Sublime art is unframeable: It’s an image or idea that implies that there’s a bigger image or idea that you can’t see: You’re only getting to look at a fraction of it, and in that way it’s both beautiful and scary, because it’s reminding you that there’s more that you don’t have access to.”

That method of storytelling has served the writers well, especially when it comes to Marceline. Over the years we’ve seen glimpses of her past, and those impressions have asked as many questions as they’ve answered (in a good way!). The more we know about her, the more we want to know about her — but the cryptic nature of her character is one of the things that makes her so enchanting. “Stakes” elevates Marcie’s story — and her relationship with PB — by bringing her into the coming of age conversation the other characters have been having for the last two seasons. During the first episode, she tells PB, “I was just a messed up kid when I became a vampire. Now it’s a thousand years later and I’m still messed up. I don’t want to spend eternity like this, with this emptiness. I wanna grow up.”

Princess Bubblegum is actually going through a similar struggle. The lead-in to Stakes is a Marcie/PB solo episode called “Varmints” that aired a few weeks earlier. In it, Marcie finds out PB has been throne-jacked by Princess King of Ooo, so she tracks her down to an isolated cabin near Lake Butterscotch where she’s sitting on her front porch with a shotgun, trying to keep her pumpkin patch safe from varmints.

They skedaddle off on an adventure to try to eradicate the pesky pumpkin-munchers, and find themselves down below the Candy Kingdom, where they used to hang out when they were just kids. They even stumble across a spray paint tag Bubblegum created because Marceline dared her to. Together, they remember what it was like when PB first came to power, skipping out on meetings with the Cheese Kingdom and managing her small candy territory with ease. As it grew, so did its problems, and her responsibilities, and her opportunities to mess up. She was forced to make compromises, and to accept that she was never going to always make everyone happy. She finally confesses to Marcie that she wasn’t actually deposed; she quit. And that she pulled away from her all those years ago because work was the only thing she could control, the only thing she was confident she could succeed at.

Back on the cabin porch after their varmint triumph, Bubblegum rests her head on Marceline’s shoulder and says, “I’m crazy tired, Marceline; I think I have been for a long time.”

Bubblegum is still living in her cabin when Stakes shifts into action, kicking off its first episode with Marcie growing weary of getting scorched by the sun and deciding to ask PB to cure her of her vampirism. As PB is tucking Marcie into the machine she invented to suck her vampiric essence out of her, they have a casual conversation about mortality, echoing Walt Whitman 200 years later.

Bubblegum: This means some day you’re going to die. You know that, right?
Marceline: I guess it’ll be my last adventure!
Bubblegum: You know I care about you. I think you’re making the right choice. Your natural lifespan is going to be richer and fuller than you can imagine. And some day, when you die, I’ll be the one who puts you in the ground.

Unfortunately, the bucket of vampire sludge PB sucks out of Marceline doesn’t stay in its container; it morphs into an ether that summons all the vampires Marceline killed back to the mortal realm of Ooo. The remainder of Stakes is a heady mix of Marceline and Bubblegum — along with Finn, Jake, Lumpy Space Princess, and Peppermint Butler — tracking down the rogue vampires while Marceline flashes back over the last several centuries.

We already knew she was an orphan after the Mushroom War and that her protector, Simon Petrikov, abandoned her to keep her safe after he began transforming into the Ice King. And we knew that her dad was a hell demon who imbued her with the power to suck souls. It turns out both of those things led to Marceline becoming a vampire because both of those things led to her slaying vampires and slurping up their souls to gain their powers. One-by-one she slayed them to keep Ooo safe for the very few remaining humans, and even joined the humans at night by their campfire to sing the Mr. Belvedere theme song. It was when she slayed the Vampire King that he turned her into a vampire, from the inside out.

Adventure Time has always been about finding family and beauty in the candy-coated apocalyptic decay of Ooo, and about the deep sadness that often accompanies isolation, and those themes are more pronounced than ever in Stakes. Marceline begs her mom not to make her sleep when she’s a kid because she has weird, weird dreams. She begs Simon not to leave her after the War because she’s just a child with no way to take care of herself. By the time she’s a teenager, she’s all alone and running out of places to forage for food, and that’s when she meets her first vampire. Slaying him gives her purpose, and power. She finds the will to go on.

It’s no surprise that when the vampires return, Marceline chooses to try to fight them alone. After all, that’s how she did it for hundreds of years, and now that she has a family, she doesn’t want to put their lives at risk. Princess Bubblegum convinces her she’s being a dope, and so they set off together to save the world (some more). Marceline gets poisoned and has a fever dream of growing old with Bubblegum in her cabin by Lake Butterscotch, singing in her arm chair, while PB smooches her forehead and strokes her hair.

When the Vampire King grows ten times as strong as he was before Marceline tried to stop him, and stomps off to destroy the entire world, PB and Finn and Jake are ready to take their adventure to the next level, but Marcie finally gives into her despair and makes the depression metaphor literal.

Bubblegum: What’s wrong?
Marceline: Me, I guess.
Bubblegum: What?
Marceline: Me. I’m wrong. All of this is my fault. Just fighting the vampires in the first place screwed everything up. Sure screwed me up, anyway, and geez louise, trying to fix it? Trying to fix me? It just made things a thousand times worse, so why even try, you know? What’s the point?

It’s not her friends who convince her to keep going; it’s the Ice King. He doesn’t do it with a pep talk. He doesn’t do it with a hug. He compares them to each other, says they’re the same, and Marceline realizes she doesn’t have to live his story. Yeah, she’s kind of messed up. And she breaks stuff. And she knows the paralyzing ache of loneliness. But that doesn’t mean she has to be alone. These people who love her, Bubblegum especially, are willing to be messed up with her. So she zooms off to fight the Vampire King, shouting, “Ooooh, I’m gonna poop my pants if Finn kills this guy instead of me!” as she flies toward him.

Finn doesn’t. Marceline gets him in the end, sucks his soul with her heart — which means, of course, that she turns back into a vampire. She doesn’t beat her vampirism(/depression), but she ultimately realizes that fighting it helped her grow.

Marceline: Being mortal was good, but at the same time, it was terrifying. Now I’m a vampire with fresh mortal memories and, I dunno, more empathy or something. More grown-up. Bonnie, thank you for helping me grow up. Now I guess we get to hang out together forever.

Fighting with Marceline helped PB, too. She returns to the Candy Kingdom to take back her throne, to reclaim her purpose, while Marceline sings the lullaby her mom made up for her when she was just a little girl, too afraid to sleep. The perfect song for Marcie and PB to grow old to, together:

Everything stays
Right where you left it
Everything stays
But it still changes

Ever so slightly
Daily and nightly
In little ways
When everything stays

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People always ask where you should start Adventure Time if you just want to just watch Marceline and Princess Bubblegum’s love story, so here’s a list of episodes/comic books for y’all.

Episode 220: “Go With Me”

Episode 310: “What Was Missing”

Episode 505: “All The Little People”

Graphic Novel: Marceline and the Scream Queens

Episode 529: “Sky Witch”

Episode 538: “Red Starved”

Episode 614: “Princess Day”

Episode 702: “Varmints”

Episodes 706-713: Stakes Miniseries

You really should watch the whole series, though. It’s one of the smartest things on TV!

“Steven Universe” and the Importance of All-Ages Queer Representation

We are truly living in a miraculous era of all-ages entertainment.

Last night the animated show Steven Universe, which, although it’s one of the best shows on TV and it has fans of all ages, is definitely aimed at children, aired its Season One finale. In doing so, it also happened to air one of the queerest episodes of a children’s cartoon in the history of television.

Representation is vitally important for children. Study after study and expert after expert says that when kids see people like them positively portrayed in the media they consume, they are positively impacted, and when they don’t see that same representation, it negatively affects not only them, but how others view and treat people like them. Especially when we’re still developing, and especially when we are still discovering and exploring our genders and sexuality, it’s important for us to know that we’re not alone and that we have the possibility of a bright future. One way to do this is by creating fictional characters and narratives that show that bright future for people like that.

That’s exactly what shows like Steven Universe are doing. The basic background and premise of the show already do a good job of this. Steven Universe is created by Rebecca Sugar, making it Cartoon Network’s first show solely created by a woman. The cast, both in the show and behind the scenes is filled with people of color, and especially women of color. Other than Steven himself, the three main characters — Crystal Gems named Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl — are all voiced by women of color, and it’s extremely easy to interpret the gems, as well as their fusions, as people of color. Then there are humans who fill the community, like the Pizza family and Steven’s best friend and crush, Connie Maheswaran.

As for the premise of the show, it’s basically the story of a boy being raised by three moms. This boy looks up to those three moms, and wants to be like them. He has no qualms about having feminine role models and heroes. I’m reluctant to say “female role models” as the Gems don’t exactly subscribe to the idea of human sexes, but they use “she” pronouns and largely present as women. It really is refreshing to see a TV show about a young boy who so unabashedly looks up women like this. In one episode where Steven finds out that Pearl and Amethyst have the ability to fuse together into a giant Gem, he even sings a song saying “but if it were me, I’d really want to be a Giant Woman.” The rest of the show is filled with other moments that both reject gender norms and are filled with queer subtext. Amethyst, Pearl, Garnet and Steven’s mother who had to give up her physical form in order for Steven to be born, Rose Quartz seem to constantly be battling to see who can have the gayest moment with one another.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZp1ltHfRZc

Things took a turn for the queerer in the episode “Alone Together.” Steven and Connie are hanging out on the beach when they decide to dance together. Dancing is how the Gems fuse with one another, and possibly because he’s half human, when Steven dances with Connie, he fuses with her into a thin-waisted and wide-hipped, long-haired, short-shorts and crop top-wearing person named Stevonnie. Stevonnie goes around town and, although Stevonnie is (according to the people who make the show, Stevonnie doesn’t use either “he” or “she” pronouns) somewhat androgynous, is fairly clearly coded and read by the other characters as female. Throughout the episode Stevonnie is flirted with and admired by both girls and boys.

This concept of the Gems fusing reached critical mass in last night’s two-part episode, especially in the episode “Jail Break.” A group of other Gems, led by Jasper, was invading the Earth, and in attempting to defend it, Garnet and the other gems were captured and imprisoned on the Gem spaceship. There, Garnet was separated into two Gems, Ruby and Sapphire. This is the first time we see them apart. Up until now, the assumption had been that Garnet was a single Gem like Pearl and Amethyst. However, the truth is much more romantic.

When Ruby and Sapphire are finally reunited, they run up to each other and embrace. As Ruby cries tears of joy, Sapphire asks “Did they hurt you?” and when Ruby says “Who cares?” she emphatically replies “I do!” Sapphire then kisses Ruby’s forehead and nose as the two embrace again, Ruby lifting and spinning Sapphire until they become one again. Garnet is then so overjoyed that she sings a song (she is voiced by the singer Estelle, after all) that celebrates their relationship and how they’re not single and how when they’re together they can do anything.

When we talk poetically about marriage, we say that two become one. When we say that soul mates find each other, we say that it’s like two parts making one whole. This is what’s we were witnessing here. You would be hard pressed to take a look at the smiles on Ruby and Sapphire’s faces and say that they are anything but smiles of love. Then, last night on Tumblr, Joe Johnston, one of the writers and storyboard artists for Steven Universe received the question, “are you allowed to tell us is Sapphire and Ruby’s love is romantic or more platonic?” He answered with a very succinct “Romantic yo.”

https://soundcloud.com/aivisura/steven-universe-stronger-than-you-feat-estelle

Just like my heart, and the hearts of everyone else watching, Twitter and Tumblr absolutely exploded after last night’s episode. Artists and queer people, seeing a medium they love show people like them, leapt at the chance to say how much it meant to them. It was really quite beautiful. All of these people, just dying to see familiar stories and familiar faces in the media that they consume and love, and finally that waiting paid off.

With “Jail Break,” Steven Universe joins the ranks of cartoons aimed at younger audiences made by Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network that feature queer characters. First came Adventure Time, a show that already featured a lot of great female role models before the episode “What Was Missing” aired. It was then, way back in 2011 that Marceline the Vampire Queen and Princess Bubblegum took the leap into the world of romantic subtext. The subtext was made thicker by several later episodes and comic books, and then the relationship between the two was confirmed by Marceline’s voice actress.

Following that, many thought that the floodgates would open. As I’m sure we all know, that’s not how it happened. We got a peek of representation when, in December, 2014, the Cartoon Network show Clarence showed that one of the main characters, Jeff, has two moms, voiced very fittingly by Tig Notaro and Lea Delaria. Then, a few weeks later, Nickelodeon took what many saw as the biggest step yet.

In the finale of their series The Legend of Korra, the hero of the story, Korra, and another female character, Asami, walk of metaphorically into the sunset and literally into a spirit portal, hand in hand. These two characters’s relationship was built up over the entire series and they pretty much did everything but kiss or say “I love you.” In a similar move to Marceline and Bubblegum in Adventure Time, their relationship was confirmed off air. The show’s creators and head writers took to tumblr to declare that Korra and Asami, two women of color, were indeed bisexual and were definitely a couple. While this move was terrific and rightfully celebrated by many, it did take place in the series finale and their relationship was therefore, unable to be explored or shown further.

That’s the beautiful thing about Steven Universe, all of this happened in just the first season. Season Two starts today. We have a whole series ahead of us and there’s limitless potential for how much they can expand on Ruby and Sapphire’s relationship (or any other queer parts of the show) in the future. If the show’s creators are willing to do this much in the first season, one can only imagine what is yet to come.

This movement of queer representation in all-ages media isn’t just limited to cartoons, either. Comic books like Bravest Warriors, Lumberjanes and Help Us! Brave Warrior, all from Boom! Studios (are they killing it or what?), have casts with queer characters, and are all meant for audiences of any age, including kids who are first discovering that they’re trans, lesbian, gay or otherwise queer. Can you even imagine what it would be like to be a closeted 12-year-old trans girl or lesbian or both, and to read one of these books? To see Mal and Molly going on a date and holding hands, to see Peach and Plum exchanging phone numbers, to see Leo be both a trans woman and proud and powerful warrior. These comics and shows are literally changing and saving lives.

We’re witnessing a magical new time in all-ages entertainment, and we’ll be reaping the benefits for years to come. There will be countless young people, and also plenty of not-so-young people who get the courage to find themselves, to be themselves and to come out and live their lives to the fullest because of shows like Steven Universe. This episode was beautiful and important and based on what’s been happening over the last few years, it’s just the tip of the iceberg.

Fan Fiction Friday: 10 Valentine’s Day Stories to Warm Your Heart and Your Pants

Feature image courtesy of Fox

Cupid’s Big Day Out is upon us, which means of course that I have tracked down ten Valentine’s Day-themed femslash stories to carry you through the weekend. There’s something for everyone here. Brittany and Santana playing around with a whole lot of kinks! Marceline melting you into a puddle of swoony goop with her love for Princess Bubblegum! T’Pring chomping down on Valentine’s Day cards because nothing says “Vulcan” like literally eating your feelings!

I hope your VDay is as gay as this post.

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Sick Day by mustdefine

Pairing: Emma/Regina, Once Upon a Time
Plot: Regina takes care of Emma when she’s sick ’cause she’s a big ol’ softy Evil Queen.
Length: 6,000 words

Her second text is to Regina. It takes her three tries to compose something that makes any sense. Can’t pick up Henry today, can you take him for the weekend? Emma pushes the phone away the moment she finishes typing and buries her head in her pillow. She hears the phone slide off the edge of the bed and drop to the floor, but she can’t muster the energy to care, much less retrieve it when it buzzes a few minutes later. She’ll regret the missed opportunity to stuff her son full of discount Valentine’s Day candy over the next few days (and, okay, maybe give French toast another try, preferably without setting anything on fire this time). But she is definitely not up to the task of taking care of another human being right now. Dying, though. Dying’s definitely on the very short list of things she is capable of doing. She tries to go over that very short list just to make sure everything’s in order, but she keeps losing track of where she is, which makes for a rough couple hours of maybe-sleep.

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Cupid’s Chokehold by lit_chick08

Pairing: Sansa Stark/Margaery Tyrell, Game of Thrones (AU)
Plot: Cupid hits Sansa and Margary with his arrows, which is a lot better than having Joffrey aim his crossbow at you.
Length: 1,200 words

When she gets off the train Friday afternoon, Sansa wears the skimpy lingerie beneath the outfit it took entirely too much time to pick out, her hair pulled into a fishtail braid Val did before rushing to class. Margaery is waiting, looking far more attractive in winter wear than any person has a right to, and Sansa inhales sharply through her nose when Margaery kisses her right there on the platform, her hot mouth a sharp contrast to the biting wind. When Margaery pulls back, Sansa surreptitiously glances around to see if anyone is watching them and discovers no one is looking at them.

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some schematics showing me your front to back and in between by Shadowcrawler

Pairing: Jemma/Skye, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Plot: Simmons nerds out on Skye on Valentine’s Day.
Length: 2,500 words

Jemma can rattle off the neurological and biochemical effects of being in love with someone, and how being in love is highly beneficial for one’s health and well-being, without a problem. She can hypothesize about the sociological effects of the romantic tropes that popular fiction utilizes, even on those who insist that they don’t subscribe to those ideals. But she’s not very good at talking about her actual feelings. Especially for a culturally mandated event like Valentine’s Day. She hasn’t had to worry about it too much before, as even when she had someone special in the past, they never put much emphasis on the event. As her previous relationships were generally with fellow scientifically-oriented people, they had both agreed that the day was completely ridiculous and best ignored. But now she has Skye, and she feels like that makes it different.

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My Heart in your Eyes by weepingnaiad

Pairing: Pepper Potts/Natasha Romanov, Marvel CMU
Plot: Natasha thinks she’s too hard for Valentine’s Day but that’s because she’s never celebrated it with Pepper before.
Length: 1,600 words

Natasha recognized the warmth from a spike of adrenaline shooting through her blood. It was the same as when she readied for a fight, but with one difference: her stomach was never in knots and she never blushed. Ever. But she was now. She blamed Clint for that. For this. He was the one that had dragged her away from her former life, brought her into SHIELD, given her a home and a family. People to love. It had to be Clint’s fault that Natasha had these feelings now, and not sisterly ones for Pepper, either.

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Ladylike Pursuits by Gamma_Orionis

Pairing: The witches of Harry Potter
Plot: Valentine’s Day drabbles for nearly every Femslash pairing in the history of Hogwarts.
Length: 2,000 words

“I understand,” Luna said softly. “You don’t want her to know about me.”

“About us,” Ginny said quietly. “I don’t want her to know about us.”

Luna pushed herself up to her knees and kissed Ginny on her cheek. Her lips were soft and warm and gentle, and Ginny turned her head so that Luna’s mouth met hers. She held the kiss for a moment, tracing Luna’s lower lip with the tip of her tongue, then she pulled back.

“I’ll tell her someday,” she promised Luna, and Luna nodded.

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It glows and it flows and your fire breaks through by el_em_en_oh_pee

Pairing: Santana and Brittany, Glee
Plot: Brittany and Santana celebrate Valentine’s Day with some hardcore kink.
Length: 4,500 words

“Hands back,” Brittany tells Santana, straddling her waist, the tough denim of Britt’s jeans brushing against the skin of Santana’s stomach, Britt’s long blonde hair tickling Santana’s chest as she leans forward and takes one of Santana’s wrists and carefully slips a cuff over it, closing it gently yet decisively, and moving Santana’s arm back up over her head so that she can move the chain of the cuffs behind a slat in Santana’s headboard and attach the other end to Santana’s other wrist. “I’ve got you where I want you now,” she tells Santana, smirking her perfect fucking little Brittany smirk.

Mahogany Cake with Fudge Frosting by vassalady

Pairing: Peggy Carter/Angie Martinelli, Agent Carter
Plot: Angie makes Peggy a cake for Valentine’s Day. (Spoiler alert: It’s not a cake.)
Length: 1,500 words

Angie started talking before Peggy could say anything. “Tomorrow’s Valentine’s, you know, and I don’t have anyone to send a card to, and I didn’t think you did either, so I thought, hey, why not a cake? I actually made this for my first boyfriend several years ago, but ma, she didn’t think I should.” Angie shrugged a shoulder as she talked. Although she could talk for long stretches without interruption, there was a nervous edge to her chatter. “I mean, the war wasn’t on yet, but he was German, and even with a lot of pro-German support still, ma thought it was a bit much, you know, an Italian girl and a German boy? Anyway, it didn’t really turn out then, but I’ve gotten a lot better.” Angie grinned and nudged Peggy’s shoulder. “Go on, try it.”

kiss quick by FreshBrains

Pairing: Allison Argent/Lydia Martin, Teen Wolf
Plot: Pure unadulterated Valentine’s Day fluff!
Length: 500 words

Allison closed the bathroom door, but left it open a crack—she would never admit it out loud, but when they got back to Allison’s house after a long day of fighting baddies with the boys, Allison was a little protective of Lydia. She liked having her close. As she rubbed her hair dry with a fluffy towel, she called, “Just don’t use all my Herbal Essences, you hate that raspberry smell.”

The shower turned off and Allison heard Lydia’s hair drip onto the tile. Lydia opened the door, wrapped in Allison’s pink bathrobe. “No, I hate the smell of it in my hair. It’s perfect on you. Besides, we can’t be those girlfriends who smell like each other.”

cherry pits by oktavia

Pairing: Marceline/Princess Bubblegum, Adventure Time
Plot: Marceline is determined to crush Valentine’s Day this year, in a good way.
Length: 1,000 words

Marceline was many things, but thoughtful and romantic weren’t typically the first things she would consider herself. When she remembered the way Bonnibel had stared at her last Valentine’s Day, wide-eyed with silent contempt, at the live five-pound gummy worm she had painstakingly boxed and stapled a big blue bow to, she decided that romantic was probably the last thing she was. It sang, was her defense, and she gave the giant rainbow-colored worm a shake. Sure enough, it did sing, but it was a power ballad by some big-hair glamrock band Marceline was into lately. Bonnibel wasn’t moved in the slightest.

All That Glitters is a Threat to Public Health and Therefore Banned by katiemariie

Pairing: T’Pring/Nyota Uhura, Star Trek (Movies)
Plot: T’Pring eats the Valentine’s Day card Uhura gives to her because: Vulcans.
Length: 500 words

“I apologize. However, is it not Human custom to imbibe the candy hearts one receives as part of the St. Valentine’s Day festivities?”

“Yes, but that wasn’t a candy heart. It was paper.” Uhura has to admit, in the taste department, they probably weren’t too different.

“I see.” T’Pring quirks her head to the side. “If it was not meant to be eaten, then why was it covered with sprinkles?”

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Happy Valentine’s Day, love muffins! Share your favorite ooey gooey fics with me in the comments!

Fan Fiction Friday: Youth Culture Forever!

Oh my glob, it’s a youth culture takeover of Fan Fiction Friday! Below you will find 10 mathmatical Legend of Korra and Adventure Time fics to warm the cockles of your sweet heart on this cold winter weekend!

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No Matter The Universe by gillywulf

Pairing: Korra/Asami Sato, Avatar: Legend of Korra
Plot: An astounding collection of Korrasami Tumblr prompts/fics.
Length: 90,000 words

“Korra, please-” she breathed, leaning closer. The Avatar followed suit, smirking.

“‘Korra please’, what?” she asked, their lips millimeters apart. Sher fingers ghosted over the spot Asami wanted to be touched, but made no solid contact. The engineer sucked in a sharp breath.

“I swear, if you don’t touch me right now, I will tell Tenzin who let Meelo draw on that priceless airbending scroll” Asami groaned, hips stuttering forward. Korra’s hands stilled.

“Well that’s cheating” she complained, sitting back. Asami rolled her eyes and pulled Korra into a rough kiss. They toppled to the floor in a mess of limbs.

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Conflict Resolution by Sy_Itha

Pairing: Korra/Asami Sato, Avatar: Legend of Korra
Plot: Korra is a self-help radio host whose own love life is in shambles, partly because she’s in love with her best friend.
Length: 39,000 words

Korra bit her lip. Just say something you idiot. “Thanks.” Brilliant, good job. Korra sat back down at the table and continued to stare into her mug. Asami finished her tea and took the empty mug to the sink. She paused for a moment and then spoke. “I suppose I should be heading home. I have some work to do in the morning.” She gathered her sparring gear and headed to the entryway where she’d hung up her coat and helmet. Korra forced herself to move, to stand and walk to where Asami was. She took a deep breath. “Asami wait, please.”

Asami turned. “Korra?”

This was it. She forced herself to speak, “Would you want to go see a movie, maybe get some dinner?”

Asami laughed and leaned against the doorframe. “It’s a little late for that.”

“No, I mean, this Friday.” She felt the blush crawling into her cheeks again. Asami, on the other hand, just gave her a coy smile.

“Oh, did you want me to call the boys and see–”

“No, I mean, it would just be us.” Her heartbeat pounded in her ears.

“Like, a date?”

“Yes.”

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all the choirs in my head sing, no by sable_tyger

Pairing: Korra/Asami Sato, Avatar: Legend of Korra
Plot: I love the author’s summary: “In which the Fire Ferrets play in the tournament, Bolin and Korra are best friends, Mako is aloof, and Asami is—just what the hell, Asami, what the hell.”
Length: 4,300 words

She hasn’t been this cold since she was a little girl, out fishing with her father; she’d slipped out of the boat and bobbed along the ice floes, her teeth chattering, and laughed when her father pulled her out and wrapped her inside all of his furs. She’d held out her hands and little flickers of fire had shimmered there, reflected in her fathers eyes. That was when they’d first known. That was when her entire life had changed.

In the darkness, the whispers have stopped. There’s silence, and a strange stillness like after some great disturbance. The calm after the storm, when everything’s already gone.

Korra, someone says, and she turns around.

Asami is staring at her, wide-eyed. Her mouth is open, her lips parted around Korra’s name. She’s smiling. Korra can’t figure out why she’s smiling, what’s there to smile about right now—the crowd is still there, watching Korra, waiting. She has to fall some time.

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What Spring Does by Thrace

Pairing: Korra/Asami Sato, Avatar: Legend of Korra
Plot: Three years after that groundbreaking season finale, the Korrasami happy ending keeps on rolling.
Length: 8,500 words

The table just barely manages to fit them all, but no one except possibly Lin minds rubbing elbows with their neighbor. After the main course the toasts start. First Bolin stands up, very seriously smoothing down his waistcoat and clearing his throat. Then Mako, who keeps it short and sweet, and then Bumi who has to get nudged before he sidetracks too far into a story about one of his officers and a beautiful young Fire Nation lass with a pot of rice. Never one to pass up an opportunity to grandstand, Meelo gets up on his chair and offers his hopes that their child becomes the world’s best probender slash millionaire slash monster fighter slash mover star slash badger mole wrangler slash pirate but not the mean kind.

Eventually they come around to Tenzin, who raises his glass. “To Korra and Asami.”

“Korra and Asami,” everyone echoes.

Asami looks around at the faces of their friends, her family. Under the table, Korra has laced their fingers together. For the first time since she found out, she’s looking forward to the future without reservation or worry. She’s lost a lot but she’s gained so much more and she has faith in Korra, faith in their relationship. Life is how it was meant to be.

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The Engineer’s Guide to Dating the Avatar by wegglebots

Pairing: Korra/Asami Sato, Avatar: Legend of Korra
Plot: A collection of deliriously happy Korra/Asami one-shots.
Length: 13,000 words

Asami has taken note of each iteration of these “routines”. The “routine” always starts with some premise, say the aforementioned “yo babe how do you like these guns”, followed by Korra flexing and grunting until her sleeves tear with crisp rrrrip. “Yesss, dear”, Asami would then say, smiling, and Korra would pull her in for a nice sweet kiss.

Iterations of the “routine” range from “is it me or is it hot in here” to “I JUST LOVE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW I FEEL THAT THIS IS AN APPROPRIATE THING TO DO”. And of course Asami would never admit it, but it’s something she really enjoys. After all, it’s impressive. And sexy. Asami could not deny the appeal it has to her.

Due to the transition from “shy wordbending” to “dorkilicious hot mess”, Korra’s flirting now includes things such as “wiggly hey babe eyebrows”, “random (clumsily folded) origami flowers everywhere”, “random real flowers everywhere”, and Asami’s favorite, “random little notes with loving messages written in them”.

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So we all are growing young by CherryIce

Pairing: Marceline and Princess Bubblegum, Adventure Time
Plot: “Marceline may be a thousand years old, but Princess Bubblegum has been eighteen for a very long time.”
Length: 3,400 words

Between zombie attacks and black holes, hoarder deer and the occasional uprising of ultimate evil, diplomatic snafus and the Ice King’s semi-regular kidnapping attempts/successes, the Candy Kingdom pretty much runs itself. It leaves time for the important things in life, like science fairs, whistling death matches, tea parties, peace conferences, and coming up with the formula to reverse zombie uprisings.

She likes to leave time as well for the things that aren’t important, like quantifying the colour ‘red’ or delineating the boundaries of consciousness. An adventure now and then, maybe. The kingdom may pretty much run itself, but emergencies come up too often for her to just leave.

“Hey, PB!” someone says behind her. It is a testament to how involved she is in her chalkboard that it takes her a moment to process who it is. “Whatcha doing?” Finn is the only one who calls her that. Jake sometimes, but he sounds different because he’s a dog. Everyone else calls her Princess, or Princess Bubblegum. Marceline is the only one since her grandmother who calls her by her given name.

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Heartstrings by Stonestrewn

Pairing: Marceline and Princess Bubblegum, Adventure Time
Plot: It’s like A-Camp, with the ruler of the Candy Kingdom and a thousand-year-old vampire.
Length: 3,300 words

Marceline is a new acquaintance. You have heard of her before, of course, even exchanged pleasantries (well, pleasant on your end, at least) once or twice, but this is the first time you have spent a prolonged amount of time in her company. It’s not at all as bad as her attitude might have made you fear. In part, you chalk that up to your excellent diplomacy. She is a queen, after all, and you are a princess, and it is important to keep relations with fellow royalty amicable – unless they try to kidnap you. So far, Marceline’s attempts at abduction count to zero.

In addition, you simply couldn’t have found the rare Scarlet Scale Scraper mushrooms without her incredible sense of smell. Mrs. Marshmallow’s pet lizard will finally be free from that nasty fungus. When you return to the candy kingdom you will have to remember to thank Peppermint Butler especially for bringing you and Marceline’s abilities together.

The song comes to an end. You hurry to shower her with enthusiastic one-princess applause.

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Within a Week by sunbreaksdown

Pairing: Marceline and Princess Bubblegum, Adventure Time
Plot: Oh, just Marceline and Princess Bubblegum making crazy science together.
Length: 4,700 words

But finally, finally, Bubblegum’s holding up a pot of what looks like dust, if Marceline’s completely honest, and beaming at it proudly through her silly goggles. She pulls them up, onto her forehead, what a nerd, and keeps the labcoat on as she hurries out to one of the castle’s balconies. Marceline follows her, because finally she can get out of the lab (because, obviously, she had no choice but to be there the whole time Bubblegum worked) and along comes Lady Rainicorn, who seems to know what to do.

She takes the magic-science-dirt, whatever it is, up into the air, and as she glides across the Candy Kingdom, she lets it fall down upon the streets and rooftops alike. Marceline lands behind Bubblegum as the Princess stands with her hands clasped before her, holding her breath, racked with anticipation. Marceline watches as nothing happens, for a long moment, and then the dust reacts with the air, sparking off as an unnatural but far from unsettling green. The whole thing blends into a relaxing, rejuvenating sort of mist, repairing or rebalancing or somethinging the kingdom.

Marceline has no idea what’s actually happening, but whatever it is, it’s as impressive as heck.

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Cultural Relations by sunbreaksdown

Pairing: Marceline and Princess Bubblegum, Adventure Time
Plot: Sometime before PB traded Marceline’s rock t-shirt for Hambo, there was this.
Length: 8,000 words

Marceline grins at the comment about the shirt, fangs digging into her lower lip, though she knows that she shouldn’t. It’s just that she’s had more than enough time to be flustered about what the Door Lord stole from Princess Bubblegum that she can now convince herself it’s something to be smug about. It’s easy to gloss over the thought of the shirt that she gave the Princess being her most beloved possession when she can poke fun at her, and go on about how much she must loooooove her fashion choices. Princess Bubblegum huffs at the comment, but Marceline knows that she’d never back down with so little provocation.

Especially when she herself is the source of Princess Bubblegum’s torment.

“Well! It’s research.” Princess Bubblegum changes her mind, mirrors the way that Marceline’s arms are folded across her chest, and looks more than a little pleased with herself. “You’re a special case. A vampire living on the surface of Ooo, and regularly interacting with a variety of different species, from human boys, dogs, goblins, worm people—”

“—chewable pink princesses who have wandered a long way from home…”

“Very helpful, Marceline. As I was saying, I’m sure it will yield some fascinating results, if only from a strictly anthropological point of view.”

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In the Blink of an Eye by abcooper

Pairing: Marceline and Princess Bubblegum, Adventure Time
Plot: What’s a thousand years between “friends”?
Length: 9,000 words

Marceline the Vampire Queen was 1000 years old when she met Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum, and she was also 18. And she was also feeling extremely vicious.

It was hot out, and she was angry, and her back was sore from the large pack she was carrying. She had dumped her jerk-faced teddy-bear-stealing boyfriend, then dumped everything she owned into a bag, and then dumped the stupid treehouse that she’d made her stupid life in, and headed out.

One nice thing about being 18 forever, Marceline had found, was that you never ran out of time to start over.

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Will you share your favorite cartoon-related fics with me?

Nerd Couture: Dress Like Marceline The Vampire Queen

Y’all, I know you sometimes look at cartoon characters and you’re like, I’ll have what she’s having. Or rather, I’ll wear what she’s wearing. And then you’re like, ugh, but wait! This is a cartoon character. The only way I can wear what she’s wearing is if I’m cosplaying, right? Wrong! There are definitely ways to incorporate animated fashion into your animated life without looking like a cartoon character. And the perfect way to prove that theory correct is with the ever stylish (and kinda queer) Marceline The Vampire Queen from the popular Adventure Time.

It is my opinion that Marceline rocks some pretty solid queer fashion — Olivia Olsen’s confirmation of Bubbline as cannon has launched our favorite queen of the Nightosphere into the lesbian icon stratosphere. And she’s definitely been a favorite around here, even before all our dreams were realized. Aside from our deep Marceline feelings, however, is the plain and simple fact that Marceline has presented all over the fashion spectrum — from androgynous to straight-up femme — all while looking effortlessly like a rock star. She’s got an easy color palette: red, blue, grey, black. And she never wears jewelry that I can see, making her a perfect inspiration for those of us who don’t like to or are allergic to all the metal. She doesn’t do any fussy beading or embellishments.

This undead lady is a live one! And she has some pretty perfect fashion advice for us this Fall.

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Original Marceline

When Marceline appears in season one, episode 12 (Evicted!), she’s wearing what’s pretty much the easiest look in cartoons — skinny jeans, grey tank top and red boots. This look is so easy it can even be practiced on hangover days and during exams.

PS, if you’re gonna splurge on one thing, it should be boots. You can get them re-heeled over and over and over again, they’re like the undead and you will have them forever. Marceline is 1000 years old. Probably her boots are too.The nice part about this is, as it gets cooler, layering over the tank is super easy and can be your slight departure from classic Marceline. I suggested a pullover sweater here because something about pullovers says “IDGAF I’m a vampire queen.”

Or, if you want to ditch the grey tank all together and instead adopt the famed tee-shirt from What Was Missing and Sky Witch, I’ve gone ahead and found that for you.

You’re welcome.

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Marceline To The Rescue

Don’t worry California, Hawaii and all the other places without a proper Fall. While I am very sorry for you and your lack of this most exalted of seasons, I’m certainly not about to leave you out of this vampire goodness. I understand it does get a little cooler in your perpetual summer, so check out Marceline rocking overalls and a red crop top in season five, episode 48 (Betty). Spoiler: she’s got to give up Hambo to help Simon/The Ice King recover his long lost Betty. I think her outfit here is actually a way to visually recall her outfit as a little girl:

I’m not sure what kind of shoes she’s wearing, but I’m taking those as Toms. They look like Toms, right? Anywho —

Make sure to roll the bottoms of the overalls! As for the crop top, I gave you sleeves, it’s Fall, but I gave you options! Short sleeves, long sleeves and one that kinda looks like that standard Marceline red and white striped sweater. What striped sweater, you say? This one:

You can also grab the perfect voluminous pony tail by following this tutorial:

And if this Fall makes you feel like you want a Hambo that you don’t have to give up, that can be arranged.

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Princess Marceline

When Marceline celebrates Princess Day in season six, episode 14, she takes her fashion inspiration (and the writers take their episode inspiration) from Thelma and Louise. Which makes that an obvious choice of outfit to covet. Check it:

Okay, I couldn’t screen cap Marceline with the blue blazer on (I am not quick enough) but you just have to trust me, this outfit came with a blazer and it was magic. Same with the boots — light grey/white boots. Also, do y’all know how hard it is to find a “dressy” white tank top that would look good tucked in? Okay, yeah, probably you do. I left out the bandanna on Marceline’s neck as well, thinking that this would be a perfect opportunity to use those A-Camp bandanas we’ve all been collecting.

Can I also point out that if you want Marceline’s awesome black hair, Fikri has written a hair dying tutorial that works for all the colors all the time. While specifically it’s for “all the colors,” I think a lot of the tips and tricks discussed could be applicable to just such a Nightosphere hairdo.

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Marshall Lee

As a masculine-of-center queer myself, I was psyched to take on Marceline because she presents a unique opportunity in having a masculine counterpart called Marshall Lee. Yay for me and all the other people who are never going to put a red crop top on their body ever ever not in a million years ever! Huzzah for red plaid, men’s skinny jeans and brown chucks. Because it’s so easy, I’m going to give you a few options —

Regarding my pick on jeans — I am the kind of person who spends good money on jeans because I have legs that are a weird length according to the fashion industry, apparently. And because I wear jeans more than anything else in my closet. I wear the same two pairs of jeans over and over. To me, that’s worth a heavier price tag. I’m also the kind of person who is hyper aware of the high cost of cheap fashion, so sometimes I’ll save up for more time when it comes to purchasing a piece I love and I’ll just buy fewer pieces of clothing across the board. I actually really like the Adventure Time ethos for that reason: it used to be that television shows reflected how real people lived. If you look at The Dick Van Dyke Show, for instance, Dick Van Dyke has one suit. One suit he wears every day to work. Mary Tyler Moore has only a couple dresses, a couple outfits. Not a crazy wardrobe that the average human just can’t afford to have if they’re buying really quality stuff. On Adventure Time, there’s some variance in outfits, but not really. Finn wears the same thing every day. Even the Princesses wear the same or similar things day after day, and presumably they have a lot more resources than the average citizen of Ooo. And Marceline/Marshall Lee, in particular have well-coordinated wardrobes that can realistically be mixed and matched to create many outfits with just a few pieces. The clothing in Adventure Time, while fantastical and animated, portrays a realistic view of returning to a few well-made pieces instead of trying to keep up with some new-outfit-every-episode craziness.

But I digress.

Roll the jean legs up and the shirt sleeves up. That’s literally the only thing you have to do to achieve “IDGAF I’m a Vampire King.”

If you want Marshall Lee’s awesome bedhead, might I recommend Lush Dirty Hair Cream? As demoed to me by the lovely Lush cosmetics hippie queer working in a New Jersey mall, it holds hair in the perfect Marshall Lee coiffure.

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How are you incorporating Nightosphere-sensibility into your wardrobe this Fall? Who else from Adventure Time are you mimicking in your closet?

Rhymes With Witches: Lumpy Space Princess

Think you’re too old and too cool to watch cartoons? What if I told you there’s a cartoon that is both visually stunning, giggle inducing, AND feminist? Look no further than Cartoon Network’s cacophony of sights and sounds known by toddlers to grown ass people alike as Adventure Time. Since its debut in 2010 Adventure Time has become a worldwide sensation. What’s not to love about a show that values friendship, a candy kingdom ruled by a nerdy princess, and an underlying theme of feminism and LGBT acceptance? And all in a kid’s show!!

The show contains some of the raddest chicks to grace the cartoon universe which I could wax poetic about for hours, but this column is about mean girls which means only one thing: Lumpy Space Princess.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6CSZcTHmH-o

If you haven’t seen the show, I promise you, you have SEEN Lumpy Space Princess. Whether on your Tumblr feed, on t-shirts and/or costume parties. She’s the purple cumulus cloud with a big yellow star on her forehead and a sassy smirk. You’ve probably even heard a few of her famous catchphrases like “What the glob?” and “Lump off!” Originating from Lumpy Space, where having a smooth human body is looked down on, LSP spends her days floating around living her life like an episode of Laguna Beach. Imagine the entire teenage experience compacted into a single character, that’s Lumpy Space Princess. She talks in a HEAVY Valley Girl accent, which make the ridiculous things that come out of her mouth even funnier. She encompasses the quintessential teenager in that she is completely self-involved and acts like every minute thing in her life is an EVENT.

She talks back to her parents and makes rude comments under the guise that she’s just very perceptive and honest. Thinking about how her words may affect other people is nowhere near the trajectory of her mind. She is feeling her FANTASY and frankly the rest of the world can be a part of it or not. Sometimes I wonder if life would be less stressful if we didn’t have to worry about silly things like other people’s feelings and how others view us. LSP just outright doesn’t care (mostly because I don’t think she has the ability to have that perspective), she KNOWS she’s fabulous and will let you know too.

I have never seen a character so outright love their body. Sure, there were those annoying cartoons like Johnny Bravo, whose vanity just completely put me off, but they were mostly dudes and were really unlikable. But here’s a female character that can’t stop talking about her beautiful lumps. As far as LSP is concerned everyone is trying to get at her lumps, but rarely does she ever actually let them. I mean, this show talks about CONSENT y’all. Sure her vanity is dramatized for laughs, but it’s this kind of self-confidence I wish I saw on a mainstream cartoon when I was growing up and am happy to see so many young kids be into.

LSP is a bundle (cloud) of all the raw emotions that are slowly subdued when we become adults. If LSP is happy, you’re gonna know. If she’s upset, you’ll DEFINITELY know. There’s no block or thought process, she just feels everything so intensely, which makes her more outrageous but relatable as well. It’s like I’m feeling vicariously through her if that makes any sense?

Oh yeah, did I mention that she spits out rainbows? Yeah. She also has these crazy sharp teeth that when bitten can turn anyone into a lumpy space person.

In short she is sassy, completely self-serving and refuses to take any guff from anybody. And we love her for it. Lumpy Space Princess believes she is the hottest thing ever and in turn has convinced an entire fandom of it too. I think her meteoric rise in popularity comes from how we see a bit of someone that we were and wish we had the guts to be.

At the end of the day it’s all bout the lumps.

Bubbline Is Canon, Commence Freakout, Y’all

That’s right, folks, it’s for serious. Olivia Olsen, the voice actress for the Marceline, the babely bass-bearing Vampire Queen of Adventure Time, openly confirmed what we all knew deep in our little queer fandom hearts to be true at a book-signing in LA recently, Princess Bubblegum and Marceline totally had like, a romantical thing-thing. Yeah girl, you know what I’m talkin’ about.

Ever since that now-infamous episode where a clearly smitten and obviously scorned Marceline rips out a not-in-the-least-bit-hetero-or-subtle, vocally formidable, bare but sludgy, bitter-girl anthem for the target of her scorned affection, Bubblegum Princess, all of us gay girls (especially us over at Autostraddle) have eagerly wanted this ship to be outwardly confirmed by someone officially involved with the show and be stated as canon, most preferably through heavy gay bass riffs. Heck, I think even a lot of straight girls wanted it confirmed, too, just through like, heavy straight bass riffs (which I think we can all agree just doesn’t sound as cool). A ton of people in general have Picked Up The Not So Freakin’ Subtle Clues and have been rooting for Bubbline, bemoaning the unfortunate “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” attitude about the Ghost Ship we aren’t allowed to admit we see and instead must lesbionically dedicate ourselves to compiling involved “Bubbline Is Real U Guys” posts, writing questionable fanfic, and drawing amazing and Not-Merely-Suggestive-Just-Full-On-Freakin-Gay fan art to bide the time until this day, this wonderful, glorious day in which we are affirmed in our GayCanon Queer Day Dreams. And now that moment has come!

There’s no need to tell you just how important the confirmed and not merely implied visibility of queer characters in children’s and youth TV shows are. Queers are, at one point in time, believe it or not, kids, and queers even have, if you can possibly imagine, children themselves. Thus and therefore, these queer relationships and interactions in cartoons have potential to positively reflect our real lives and attractions to both affirm ourselves, reduce stigma, and give young kids the fluency in these identities early.

As a kid, I picked up on the queer subtext in my Most Favorite Show Of All Time, Sailor Moon. I UNDERSTOOD it DEEPLY even if there was a lot about it I didn’t understand. And so, it confused and secretly frustrated me that they made not-cousins Haruka and Michiru straight, when it was so clear Haruka was the surly soft androgynous butch to Michiru’s stoic and cool ocean-femme, meanwhile all the inner senshi had Haruka’s name shamelessly scribbled in their Lisa Frank diaries and on their Angelfire pages. As did so many of us fans. I remember being in my preteens and comparing notes with other sailor moon fans—yeah, this was totally homo, wasn’t it? These characters performed their gender and expressed themselves in ambiguous and non-conforming ways, huh? We totally know about Kunzite and Zoisite, right? Right. The piss-pour attempts to cover it through voice over choices and omitting of scenes wasn’t fooling anyone, no, not even kids.

I, a little embarrassed without fully understanding why but having a somewhat vague idea, would extensively image search and save art and photos of the Senshi onto floppy discs and felt EXTRA embarrassed when I came upon images of Haruka. How different would have things been for canon baby gay!Bri if the ship was allowed to sail here like it had been in Japan? Instead of wondering, let’s revel in this victory for gay animation representation via Bubbline, and look forward to even more progress in that front—queer characters who are not formerly but CURRENTLY dating (and are openly gay without their voice actors then having to recant or express how it isn’t explicitly allowed to be officially canon)? Trans and non-conforming characters who are not the butt-end of a joke? I mean, literally, the possibilities are endless, the stuff’s all made up.

feature image via adventure time wikia

“Marceline and The Scream Queens” is Punk Rock and Precious

Whenever I’ve watched Adventure Time I’ve wished that the show featured more of my three favorite characters: Marceline the vampire, Princess Bubblegum and Lumpy Space Princess. Thankfully, two of those wishes were granted when I read the trade paperback of Adventure Time Presents Marceline and the Scream Queens. Marceline and The Scream Queens was a mini-series put out by Boom! Studios back in 2012, and it is exactly as wonderful as you’d expect a comic that focuses on two of the best parts of that show to be. It’s one part rock and roll, one part female friendship (or maybe something more?) and one part the weirdness of Adventure Time.

The main storyline is about the titular band, who puts on an initial show in Princess Bubblegum’s Candy Kingdom and then is about to embark on their first ever tour. The band consists of Keila, a vampire and lead guitarist, Bongo, the ghost drummer, Guy, the mysterious keyboardist, and of course, Marceline, the bassist, composer and lead singer. Marceline says she’s been waiting for this tour for “a thousand years” and she has high hopes for what they can accomplish. She says, “Our band’s gonna change lives.”

We start the journey in a familiar place, with all of the main characters from the show getting ready for the concert. While Finn and Jake are excited, at first, Bubblegum isn’t very happy about it and thinks that the type of music they play lacks any kind of structure or substance. But when she actually sees them play at their concert, her eyes open wide and her heart beats faster. She realizes how incredible rock can be. She also realizes that the band is woefully undermanaged so, Bubblegum joins them on their tour as their manager and they set off on an adventure around the Land of Ooo.

While they’re busy rocking out, things aren’t totally cool behind the scenes. Marceline keeps getting her hands on gossip magazines that seem to be trashing her band at every corner. Not only that, but she also sees that Bubblegum and Guy, the band’s mysterious keyboard player seem to be getting closer and closer. Soon Marceline can’t take it any more and she starts to freak out at shows and fighting with Bubblegum. All of this leads up to Bubblegum leaving and the band having a concert where Marceline is pushed past her limits and she transforms into a giant beast. The only thing that can stop her is PB returning to face her friend.

Interspersed within the larger narrative of Marceline going on tour with her band are other stories from within the world of Adventure Time that are about other characters from the show and how they are effected by the band. This is a drastically fun book, and the little stories in between the main story make it even better. These stories, each done by a different writer and artist, are all wonderfully and weirdly funny and will absolutely not disappoint fans of the show.

Long time readers of Autostraddle will probably already know that we love us some Bubbline, well this book has it by the basketfull. There are so many scenes of hidden glances, blushes, reassuring words and nervous reactions that you can’t help but root for them to become a couple. Even without the queerness of their relationship, Marceline and Bubblegum still have a great relationship and friendship that seems real and flawed. If you’re anything like me, fleshed-out female relationships in comics are one of your favorite things and you try to get your hands on them whenever you can.

Even while being super punk rock, this comic is able to be remarkably cute. The relationship between Marceline and Bubblegum and the personal growth they each go through leads to some real “aw” moments. Plus, the art style, with Adventure Time’s signature gummy arms and dot-eyes, the visuals are always fun. Even though it focuses on characters who are older and more grown up than Finn, it also keeps the youthful attitude of the show. Every single page is enjoyable.

While fans of the show (or just fans of the pairing) will be absolutely delighted by the book, you don’t have to watch the show to understand, or even enjoy it. The main story is written and illustrated by Meredith Gran, and she does a great job of matching the style and humor of the show, both with her art and with her storytelling. Other stories in the book are written by some of my favorite comics people, including Faith Erin Hicks, Liz Prince and Yuko Ota. You might be able to find this book as a trade paperback or at bookstores or in single issues at your local comic shop, or you can always purchase it from Amazon.

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Welcome to Drawn to Comics! From diary comics to superheroes, from webcomics to graphic novels – this is where we’ll be taking a look at comics by, featuring and for queer ladies. So whether you love to look at detailed personal accounts of other people’s lives, explore new and creative worlds, or you just love to see hot ladies in spandex, we’ve got something for you.

If you have a comic that you’d like to see me review, you can email me at mey [at] autostraddle [dot] com.

Header by Rory Midhani

This Is A Bubbline Appreciation Post and Gallery

Welcome to the forty-second installment of  Queer Your Tech with Fun, Autostraddle’s nerdy new tech column. Not everything we cover will be queer per se, but it will be about customizing this awesome technology you’ve got. Having it our way, expressing our appy selves just like we do with our identities. Here we can talk about anything from app recommendations to choosing a wireless printer to web sites you have to favorite to any other fun shit we can do with technology.

Header by Rory Midhani

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feature image by There Be More Foolery | Tumblr

As we’re eagerly awaiting the last episode of season five, it might be a good time to pause and reflect on our favorite budding relationship in Adventure Time. And you know I/we do a lot of pausing and reflecting on Adventure Time. We’ve even got the Fiona and Cake comics in our Fall 2013 Book Preview post.

Anyways. I’m speaking, of course, on the apparent relationship between Marceline the Vampire Queen and Princess Bubblegum.

I had to think long and hard about whether or not to write about this at all, because it could just be an example of queerbaiting, and I would rather slowly pull out all my teeth and drop them into a deep, snake-infested well than write about unconfirmed lesbian subtext in any teevee show ever. But I actually think we’re moving from the realm of wishful thinking into the realm of actual plot/canon. Here’s why.

Adventure Time‘s characters are not in a state of perpetual youth. Take the show’s main character, Finn the Human. Finn started out as a 12-year-old boy, quite possibly the last human on the planet. It was made clear in the episode “Mystery Train” that he was turning 13 – that whole episode is about a birthday surprise that his dog, Jake, planned for him. He is currently 14, meaning he’s entering his awkward teenage years with a vengeance –  if you listen to his voice in the first season versus the fifth, his voice is much different. And the show’s content reflects that change in age. He’s making a lot of the same mistakes in interpersonal relationships that teenage humans make in real life – taking women on dates they’re not into, falling for two girls at once when a relationship with both of them is clearly not on the table, crushing on people outside his age bracket when they are clearly not into it. The show even dealt with the concept of fantasies about women in its classically kid friendly approach (it is a kid’s TV show after all, even though we love it). Finn dreams about Flame Princess being an adventurer and beating up his nemesis (and setting him on fire… in his pants), the Ice King, and then spends the rest of the episode “Frost and Fire” trying to surreptitiously get Flame Princess to reenact the dream without telling her what’s going on for him. This doesn’t get him what he wants.

Or take the show’s other main character, Jake the Dog. Jake becomes a father in season 5 (episode: “Jake the Dad“), having a litter of rainicorn-puppy children. Adventure Time then deals with a parenting plot, with Jake being over protective of his new brood and moving away from his and Finn’s tree house.

The show’s main characters aren’t the only ones whose age and plot lines are doing a little growing up. Ice King’s backstory has been deepening since season 3 (episode: “Holly Jolly Secrets“) where his video diary reveals that about 1000 years prior he was Simon Petrikov, and the crown corrupted his personality and memory while giving him magic and immortality. We get to see his history more in depth in season 4 (episode: “I Remember You“) when we discover that he rescued Marceline after the “mushroom war” (nuclear holocaust?) before she’d become a vampire. She was seven. We delve even further into this story in season 5 (episode: “Simon and Marcy“) where we see him battle with the crown’s effects, and we see first hand the relationship he had with Marceline back when he was Simon. Marceline’s coping mechanisms and emotions reflect many aging/sick parent story lines and tropes, suggesting that we are dealing with the VERY mature plot line of age and death, or at the very least mental illness. Ice King also goes from being an un-nuanced villain to a tragic hero, giving his own life and sanity to save Marceline. Those are very complex feelings indeed, demonstrating a willingness among the show’s writers and creators to explore whole characters and grey areas, even though the show is made for children.

They are also extremely apparently willing to explore grey areas in gender and sexuality as well – one of the more major supporting characters, BMO, is gender neutral. They go by he or she, depending on the situation.

(Yeah, we’ve played that before).

In the episode “All the Little People,” Finn wonders if BMO and Ice King would make a good couple – a gender neutral video game system and a thousand year old King. And Jake says in that very same episode, if you feel something, you feel something. You can’t stop what you feel. Couple that with Princess Cookie and we’ve got some very well explored gender and sexuality in-betweens.

All in all, the show deals with and jokes about kink (Ice King in “I Remember You“), erections (Finn and Jake in “All The Little People“), intercourse (Prince Bubblegum in “Adventure Time with Fiona and Cake“). The references and plot lines are growing up a bit with the characters, and Marceline and Bubblegum seem to be no exception.

Which brings me to their specific plot line. Marceline is the only character that calls Princess Bubblegum by her first name. They appear to have a history together:

Marceline: “Looks like you aren’t as perfect as you thought! Guess you can’t judge me anymore.”

Bubblegum: “I never said you had to be perfect!”

–Season 3, “What Was Missing“

And in that very same episode, a thief comes around and steals everyone’s most prized possessions. He takes Finn’s wad of Bubblegum’s hair, Jake’s baby blanket, BMO’s controller and… something from Bubblegum and Marceline. The only way to get through the door to the thief is to play music as a band. Marceline sings to Bubblegum that she’s going to “drink the red from your pretty pink face,” which Bubblegum thinks is “too distasteful.”

That’s when Marceline gets real, singing that she’s just Bubblegum’s problem, that she shouldn’t have to be the one to make up with Bubblegum even though she wants to. But Bubblegum staring at Marceline throws her off, and we don’t get to hear much more, at least not in song. By the end of the episode, we find out that Bubblegum’s most prized possession is one of Marceline’s old tee-shirts, something that she gave Bubblegum, which the Princess now uses as pajamas. Marceline, by contrast, had no prized possessions stolen, she just wanted to hang out with everyone.

Fast forward to “Sky Witch“, the third to last episode of the current season (season 5). This episode is entirely about Marceline and Bubblegum, where they venture off to retrieve Marceline’s childhood teddybear, Hambo, from the Sky Witch. It opens with Bubblegum legit smelling the shirt that Marceline gave her, and opening her closet door to reveal a photo of the two of them together.

At the end of the episode, while Marceline is fighting the witch’s familiar, Bubblegum finds the witch and the receipt from Marceline’s awful ex-boyfriend selling Hambo away. What results is perhaps my favorite line in all of Adventure Time history:

“By the laws of my kingdom, I must honor the exchange of goods for legal tender. But guess what? I’m not leavin’ without Hambo.”

The witch requires something rife with sentimental value as she’s been using all the sentimental value in Hambo for her spells. So Bubblegum trades the prized shirt that Marceline gave her. Marceline, as of yet, doesn’t know.

So have we seen confirmation of everyone’s hopes and dreams for the Marceline/Bubblegum ship? Actually…probably. This ship is probably evolving into canon, given the tone of the show, the maturation of story lines, the comfort with gender and sexuality in-betweens, and Marceline’s undercut in season 3. And I’m not the only one who thinks so. And and! Those involved in the illustration and creation of Adventure Time are not discouraging our suspicions – quite the opposite. It may be queerbaiting or not, but Jesse Moynihan (co-writer for Adventure Time) posted a photo from Skywitch as a preview, with the caption “SHIP SHIP SHIP SHIP.” Natasha Allegri, illustrator on the show and mastermind behind the gender-swapping characters in Fiona and Cake, has even posted a few Marceline/Bubblegum drawings on her tumblr (one of which is included down below!).  But I may go one step further and argue that we’re not seeing the beginning of something, but rather the middle. Or the rekindling of something past. I’m basing that speculation on everything we’ve been given about their history. Considering the hell Marceline has put her dad through w/r/t the fries, I imagine the breakup looked something like this.

But I could just be speculating, because perhaps they were besties. Childhood friends?. As an assurance that I haven’t done a whole article on lesbian subtext, I will also give you a gallery of Bubbline fan art that explores all facets/possibilities of Bubbline. That way if it turns out I’m totally full of shit, this has still been a productive Saturday morning. You’re welcome, nerds.

50 Beautiful Fan Art Pieces Featuring Marceline and Princess Bubblegum

And may I point out that many of these artists are available for commission and/or freelance. Just sayin’.

Artists: as always, if you’d like to be removed from the gallery or if you’d like your credit changed/updated, email me: ali [at] autostraddle.com and I’ll do it soonest!