Top 10 Lesbian, Queer or Bisexual Celebrities We Remember Being Out Back Then

In our recent Autostraddle Grown-Ups Survey for readers over 29, we asked “who was the first lesbian or bisexual celebrity or public figure you remember being aware of?” Although the question was intended to be about women, many named men regardless!

Below are the Top 10 most popular answers, in order of popularity. Some honorable mentions who almost made the cut: Danish-British writer / comedian / producer Sandi Toksvig, pop star Madonna, singer/songwriter Ani DiFranco, singer/songwriter Tracy Chapman, German entertainer Hella von Sinnen and comedian Lily Tomlin. There were also many mentions of Freddie Mercury, Boy George and David Bowie.

The Top Ten Most Popular Answers To “Who was the first Lesbian or Bisexual Celebrity / Public Figure you were aware of?”

10. Angelina Jolie

Jenny Shimizu and Angelina Jolie, 1995

Angelina Jolie had her bisexual awakening in 1995 on the set of Foxfire, when she met Jenny Shimizu and “fell in love with her the first second I saw her.” Jolie said she would’ve married Jenny if she hadn’t married her first husband, Johnny Lee Miller. Shimizu says their relationship continued for quite some time, even while Jolie was with other people, but that it was definitely over by 2005. When asked in 2003 if she was bisexual, Jolie said, “Of course. If I fell in love with a woman tomorrow, would I feel that it’s okay to want to kiss and touch her? If I fell in love with her? Absolutely, yes!”

9. Sandra Bernhard

© Deborah Feingold/Corbis (1988)

Sandra Bernhard has never been shy about who she is. This includes her legendary appearance on The David Letterman Show in 1988 with Madonna, during which the pair alluded to their sexual relationship, and Bernhard “joked” that Madonna is better than Sean Penn in bed. A 1993 Newsweek article refers to Bernhard as an “avowed bisexual.’ In a 2013 interview with Between The Lines, Bernhard said, “I’ve never really come out. That’s never been my thing. I never made a definite statement about my sexuality. Obviously, I’m the torchbearer for people just to be comfortable in their own skin, and that’s what my whole philosophy has always been. I never needed to come out, because I came out as a person with many different facets to her personality since the beginning of my career. And that’s what I stand for.”

8. The Indigo Girls

© Neal Preston/Corbis  (1993)

Nobody was surprised but everybody was appreciative when Amy Ray and Emily Saliers came out in an April 1994 issue of OUT Magazine, right before releasing their hit album Swamp Ophelia. “Here’s something you probably already know,” wrote The Advocate. “The Indigo Girls — Amy Ray and Emily Saliers — are lesbians…. the girls’ publicist tells us they feel ‘beautiful’ after finally unburdening themselves. Beautiful, yes, and a whole lot closer to fine, we bet.” Real talk: they remain my favorite musical situation of all time. SORRY I CAN’T HELP IT. OLD HABITS DIE HARD. For the record, The Indigo Girls were my first lesbians. Having a lesbian Mom in 1994 meant our CD rack was a flaming homosexual.

7. Billie Jean King

Original caption: “Tennis star Billie Jean King answers questions at a press conference here, in which she admitted that she carried on a homosexual relationship several years ago. The admission came as a result of allegations by Marilyn Barnett, a former hairdresser who claims she and Mrs. King were lovers. The suit says the former tennis star had promised to give Miss Barnett a Malibu, California, beach home.” (Image by © Bettmann/CORBIS)

Billie Jean married attorney Larry King in 1965, realized she liked women in 1968, and had an abortion in 1971, believing that her marriage wasn’t solid enough to bring a child into it. Also in 1971, Billie Jean fell in love with her secretary, Marilyn Barnett. In 1981, Barnett filed a “palimony” lawsuit against Billie Jean, which resulted in Billie Jean being outed, becoming the first prominent professional lesbian athlete — and losing $2 million in endorsements and contracts. “I was outed and I think you have to do it in your own time,” King told The Sunday Times. “Fifty percent of gay people know who they are by the age of 13, I was in the other 50%. I would never have married Larry if I’d known. I would never have done that to him. I was totally in love with Larry when I was 21.” She also spoke about growing up in a homphobic family, suppressing her feelings through eating disorders, and struggling to be honest with her family. “I couldn’t get a closet deep enough. I’ve got a homophobic family, a tour that will die if I come out, the world is homophobic and, yeah, I was homophobic… At the age of 51, I was finally able to talk about it properly with my parents and no longer did I have to measure my words with them. That was a turning point for me as it meant I didn’t have regrets any more.” Now 71, Billie Jean lives with her life partner, 58-year-old tennis player Ilana Kloss.

6. Elton John

Although the survey (perhaps not clearly enough) intended to ask about the first lesbian or bisexual female celebrity you were aware of, Elton John — a gay man — was such a popular answer that it seemed worth including.

Elton John with his wax figure, 1976, via The Mirror

After divorcing from his wife of four years in 1988, Elton John told Rolling Stone that he was “comfortable” being gay. In 1976,  he’d told the same magazine that he was bisexual. He and his partner, filmmaker David Furnish, were one of the first couples to form a civil partnership after England’s Civil Partnership Act went into effect in 2005.  They legally married in December 2014, and have two sons.

5. Rosie O’Donnell

© Frank Trapper/Corbis (2002)

Rosie O’Donnell thanked her then-partner Kelli with an “I love you, Kelli!” in her 2001 Daytime Emmys speech, but she came out officially at a Ovarian Cancer Research benefit in 2002, announcing, “I’m a dyke!” She was two months way from finishing her enormously popular afternoon talk show, The Rosie O’Donnell Show and wanted to be able to speak freely about her personal stake in gay adoption issues happening at the time. She went on Diane Sawyer to do just that six weeks after the comedy club. She cut her hair shortly thereafter and it was the alternative lifestyle haircut heard ’round the world.

4. Martina Navratilova

© Hulton-Deutsch Collection/Corbis (1982)

Although she later identified as a lesbian, tennis legend Martina Navratilova had just become a United States citizen when she told a New York Daily News reporter in 1981 that she was bisexual. She also told him she’d dated Rubyfruit Jungle author Rita Mae Brown, but asked him to hold the article ’til she was ready to come out. He published it without her go-ahead. Consequently, Navratilova and her girlfriend Nancy Lieberman gave an interview to The Dallas Morning News in which Navritilova affirmed that she was bisexual, that she and Nancy were in a relationship, and that Nancy still identified as straight. Navratilova’s next relationship, a six-year situation with Judy Nelson, ended in a very public legal battle. Navratilova married her current wife, Julia Lemigova, in 2014. She is considered by many to be the best tennis player ever.

3. k.d. Lang

© Frank Trapper/Sygma/Corbis (1993)

k.d. Lang came out in The Advocate in June 1992. “As bold as k.d. lang is, the Grammy-winning singer was clearly nervous about coming out in the June 16, 1992 issue of The Advocate,” the magazine reflected in 2012, “you can’t blame her — the AIDS crisis was raging, there was a Bush in office, and LGBT celebrities were mostly nonexistent. With equal amounts of determination and trepidation, lang became one of the first celebrities to crack open the closet door, laying a blueprint for Melissa, Ellen, and Neil.” She expressed nervousness about not wanting to hurt her connection to gay culture but also not wanting to hurt her mother. In 1993, she appeared on the cover of Vanity Fair with Cindy Crawford. The iconic photograph by Herb Ritts featured Lang in a barber chair and Crawford, in a tiny black thing, appearing to shave Lang’s face. Lang told the magazine that coming out hadn’t negatively impacted her career.

2. Melissa Etheridge

© Neal Preston/Corbis (1993)

Although Melissa Etheridge was openly gay in her personal life, she didn’t come out publicly until 1993, when she was 32, referring to herself as a “proud lesbian” at a gay inaugural bash for Bill Clinton. A year later she appeared in People magazine with her “live-in lover,” Julie Cypher. Cypher was married to Lou Diamond Phillips when they met (on the set of the “Bring Me Some Water” video, Cypher was the assistant director) but she found herself drawn to Etheridge, having never considered before that she might be a lesbian. They were together until 2000, during which time Cypher birthed two children. David Crosby was the sperm donor. Etheridge went on to date and eventually marry and have more children with actress Tammy Lynn Michaels — they started dating in 2002 and separated in 2010 — and is presently married to actress/producer Linda Wallem.

1. Ellen DeGeneres

Image by © Terry Lilly/ZUMA/Corbis (1997)

A full 56% of you cited Ellen DeGeneres as the first lesbian celebrity you were aware of. Ellen DeGeneres came out publicly on The Oprah Winfrey Show in February 1997, in anticipation of her sitcom character, Ellen Morgan, coming out. She said shortly thereafter to Entertainment Weekly, “If I do it right, I’m gonna have a career that will grow, and I’ll look back on this as my infancy stage. I don’t believe you have one moment. You have many moments.” It ended up being more like her infamy stage, because America was clearly not ready for a lesbian celebrity like Ellen. But she was right about the moments. She came back, she had many moments, and now she is bigger than ever. Ellen married actress Portia De Rossi in 2008.

Family Equality Council Honors Glee, Mayor Annise Parker and More at Awards Dinner

Photos via Getty Images 

The Family Equality Council held its 11th annual awards dinner this past Saturday at the Beverly Hilton in LA. The Family Equality Council are the people who you don’t see on TV, but are listed on every amicus brief dealing with the rights of LGBTQ families. They connect families who are struggling with adoption, marriage or health rights so that they have a support network. Additionally, they do LGBTQ family advocacy work on local, state and federal levels all over the country. Each year they honor people, companies and groups who have done successful work that moves the LGBTQ rights movement forward.

Aja, aka Fit for a Femme, and I

This year the LA Awards kicked off with a musical set by the always fabulous Sandra Bernhard that led right into an equally amazing stand up set. Sandra was the sequined-covered, and almost politically incorrect, host for a night of disco and graham crackers.

The night’s honorees included Honey Maid, who not only made a national commercial featuring a family with two dads, but responded to the criticism with another commercial about love. The couple featured in the commercial even stopped by to tell the story and present the award to Honey Maid representatives Lauren Jacobsen and Jonathan Mekeel.

Also honored were Modern Family and Glee. Both shows were honored for moving the social acceptance of LGBTQ people forward by writing interesting characters that have relatable experiences. Modern Family‘s co-creator Steve Levitan and producer Jeffrey Richman were on hand to crack jokes about being single gay men standing up for the rights of LGBTQ people to have families, and about how the award bowls look like vaginas. It was a funny, silly and really supportive set of acceptance speeches that left the crowd in stiches. Ryan Murphy was on hand to accept on behalf of Glee and spoke about executives in the early days of his career that sent him notes asking him to tone down the gay characters he had created. He followed that up by saying, “And I’m happy to say that the executives who gave me those notes are no longer employed.” He proceeded to thank “a new breed” of executives like Dana Walden and Joe Earley for encouraging the creation and inclusion of LGBTQ characters.

Houston Mayor Annise Parker

Rounding out the honoree pool was Houston Mayor Annise Parker. She has worked on everything from getting curbside recycling at every Houston home, to getting a LGBT non-discrimination ordinance passed, all while raising three kids with her wife Kathy Hubbard. In her third term as mayor, she is continuing her work in the communities under her purview as well as doing work on the national stage to ensure the rights of all families. She is the only person in the history of Houston to be a controller, council member and mayor. Videos from her partner and children gave the entire audience reasons to smile.

The night also included several show stopping performances by disco star Maxine Nightingale, Cheyenne Jackson (seriously, his cover of “A Change Is Gonna Come” is a revelation) and of course, the cast of Glee. Alex Newell blew the roof off of the Beverly Hilton and was joined by Becca Tobin, Chord Overstreet, Jenna Ushkowitz, Darren Criss, Harry Shum and Lea Michele. They covered Destiny’s Child as well as a bitter sweet rendition of Glee‘s signature “Don’t Stop Believing.” I think the whole crowd got a bit misty eyed when Chord sang what was originally Corey Monteith‘s verse.

Glee cast at the event

Spotted in the crowd getting down were Patti Lupone, Lance Bass, Lisa Vanderpump, Wilson Cruz, Alec Mapa and JJ Toah aka Myron on Glee (FYI, he is a perfect angel baby who loves Gaga and totally sang Miley Cyrus with me).

All in all the Family Equality Council threw a fabulous shindig that honored the different ways in which people are fighting for LGBTQ equality. Plus, they had an excellent dessert selection.

12 TV Stars Of The ’80s and ’90s Who Turned Out To Be Lesbian, Bisexual or Otherwise Totally Queer

This morning at the gym I was thinking about Tori from Saved By The Bell and how she reminded me of my babysitter and how I thought she was the all-time coolest and then I found out that the actress who played her was gay and my head exploded! So then I decided to make this list.

Some of the women on this list were out when they were on television, but most of them kept their sexual orientation on the down low until recently. Let’s look back at all the girls we lusted after who it turns out also enjoyed lusting after other girls!

1. Leanne Creel, Tori in Saved By The Bell

Greenberg/Creel Family Photo by Katie Hawkins

Suddenly Kelly Kapowski and Jessie Spano were nowhere to be seen and instead we were gifted with this smokin’ hot tough girl in a leather jacket. No explanation whatsoever! After acting in a bunch of shows about teenagers, Creel went to UCLA and got into film production. She now runs her own production company and married her partner Rinat Greenberg on June 17, 2008, during that brief window of legalized same-sex marriage in California before Prop 8 was passed. They have two sons.

2. Meredith Baxter, Elyse Keaton on Family Ties

Famous Family Ties actress Meredith Baxter came out to herself in 2002 (and to us in 2009), after three marriages and a brief lesbian affair in 1996 that she didn’t take seriously at the time. She began dating her now-wife, Nancy Locke, in 2005, and rumors began swirling about her sexuality after she appeared on a Sweet Cruise in November 2009. She told The Today Show that it was that same-sex relationship in 2002 that changed her everything: “It was that kind of awakening. I never fought it because it was like, oh, I understand why I had the issues I had early in life. I had a great deal of difficulty connecting with men in relationships.”

3. Raven-Symone, Olivia on The Cosby Show

The cutest little kid on The Cosby Show grew up into the cutest most crittery woman who enjoys the company of other women.

4. Margaret Cho, Margaret on All-American Girl

The short-lived 1994 sitcom All-American Girl became a legendary catastrophe and Margaret Cho‘s famous for much more than being on this show. (For example: stand-up!) But the sitcom was my introduction to Margaret Cho (I genuinely loved the show) and will always be remembered as the first American prime-time network sitcom about an Asian-American family. (The second, Fresh off the Boat, premiered this year.)

5. Sara Gilbert, Darlene Conner on Roseanne

Darlene didn’t have to be a lesbian to be a lesbian fashion icon, so Sara Gilbert coming out as an adult felt like a pretty natural next-step in her development as a public figure . She’s now a co-host on The Talk, has a recurring role on The Big Bang Theory, and is married to Linda Perry. She has two children with her ex, TV Producer Allison Adler, and is currently pregnant!

6. Kristy McNichol, “Buddy” on Family and Barbara Weston on Empty Nest

After starring in the hit movie Little Darlings and the TV show Family, Kristy McNichol landed what turned out to be a 200+ episode role on Empty Nest, eventually leaving the show in 1992. McNichol then vanished from the public eye for quite some time and re-emerged in 2012 as a bona-fide lesbian.

7. Iyari Limon, Kennedy on Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Technically, this would count as a TV star of the early ’00s, since Limon joined the cast of this ’90s show in the early ’00s. BUT WHATEVER.

Limon joined the Buffy cast late in the game, playing Willow’s new love interest, Kennedy. In a 2006 interview with AfterEllen, Limon revealed that she’d had “intimacy” with a female friend as a teenager but didn’t think she was gay or bi, even while doing research for her role on Buffy. Then she met DJ Sandra Edge, who she was dating at the time of the interview. “I loved how she was just in her own little world, and she was so cute,” she told AE. “I love androgyny, androgynous women. You know, short hair, really don’t have to wear a lot of make-up, pretty face, just cool and confident and know who they are.” She actually auditioned for the role of Carmen on The L Word, and during her audition, ad libbed “Quiero lamerte hasta que te vengas en mi boca mil veces” (“I want to lick you until you come in my mouth a thousand times”) into Kate Moennig’s ear. Although Limon didn’t get the part, The L Word kept the line. She married her husband Alejandro Soltero in 2007.

8. Sandra Bernhard, Nancy Bartlett on Roseanne

Stand-up comedian and actress Sandra Bernhard played Nancy Bartlett, one of the first openly lesbian recurring characters on American television, from 1991-1997. Bernhard has been openly bisexual for quite some time, including that time she gave Patricia Velasquez her big gay awakening. She has a daughter, is in a relationship with Sara Switzer and is currently on a stand-up tour.

9. Amanda Bearse, Marcy D’Arcy on Married… With Children

Bearse got her start in theater, eventually landing a recurring role on All My Children in the early ’80s. But she’s best known for playing Marcy D’Arcy on Married…with Children for ten years (1987-1997). She’s been an out lesbian since 1993, and married to her wife Carrie Schenken since 2010. Furthermore, she and Rosie O’Donnell are responsible for bringing The Big Gay Sketch Show to Logo in 2007.

10. Maia Brewton, Shelly Lewis on Parker Lewis Can’t Lose

You’re might recognize her from Adventures in Babysitting, but Brewton also starred as Shelly Lewis on Parker Lewis Can’t Lose for three years. She married her partner Laura Spots in 2008.

11. Geri Jewell, Cousin Geri on The Facts of Life

Jewell is best known for her 1980-1984 role on The Facts of Life, which made her the first person with a disability to have a regular role on a prime time TV series. The title of her 2011 autobiography, I’m Walking As Straight As I Can, was a nod towards her lesbianism. LGBTQ Nation reports that the book “talks about her struggles growing up with a disability and how she dealt with her sexuality as a child, and her struggles as an adult with tax problems and drug addiction.”

12. Ellen DeGeneres, Ellen on Ellen

DID YOU KNOW? DID YOU KNOW THAT ELLEN DEGENERES FROM THAT FUNNY SITCOM ELLEN IS GAY? SHE EVEN CAME OUT AS GAY ON HER SHOW!! IT WAS A REALLY BIG DEAL!

Patricia Velásquez, Gay Latina Supermodel, Wants You To Live Your Truths: The Autostraddle Interview

Patricia Velásquez has had a glamourous and successful career in the fashion world, from walking the runway for Chanel, Gucci, Versace, Dolce & Gabbana to modeling for fashion editorials in magazines like Vogue, Harper’s Bazaar and Marie Claire. In her new memoir, Straight Walk, Patricia Velásquez writes about her exciting career as a supermodel in the 90s, how she got there from living in poverty and her struggle to live openly as a gay woman. Straight Walk is an addictive read because Velásquez’s experiences are so interesting and unique — but maybe I just wanted to devour the words of a famous Latina lesbian because, well, there aren’t that many out there!

Velásquez’s book really resonated with me in so many different ways and probably will for you too. She gets real really fast with a prologue dedicated to an excavation of the gut-wrenching, soul-eroding isolation she’d endured in order to lie so often to the people she loved. She doesn’t say what it is she was lying about right away, but we know what she’s talking about ’cause she speaks to an experience that so many queer women can identify with and have felt in our bones at one point in our life — I know I have. Even though I’d like to forget those horrible feelings of being in the closet, reading Velasquez’s first words were comforting in a weird way. It was validating to have this gay Latina articulate how I felt not too long ago. Narratives similar to my own aren’t easy to come by so many times throughout Velasquez’s memoir I felt a sense of relief to see a clearer reflection of myself in the media, like looking at myself in a just Windex-ed mirror.

Velásquez’s journey begins in Venezuela, where she grew up with five other siblings in an apartment with no running water with a mom who struggled to feed her children and a dad who often traveled for work. But the takeaway isn’t the struggle, it’s that Velasquez has an incredible bond with and love for her family and that she appreciates her strong, hard-working indigenous Wayúu mother. Velásquez is proud of where she comes from, and that’s one of the reasons why she continues to advocate for her people through her work at the Wayúu Taya Foundation, a nonprofit dedicated to “educating the public and funding ways to improve conditions of Latin American indigenous groups, respecting their culture and belief.”

Like many women, especially in Latino communities, Velásquez recalls how she was heavily weighed down by shame, not only because of her sexuality, but through so many choices she feared her family would disapprove of. I shared that fear myself: dishonoring my family is the ultimate sin, it’s my worst fear, and it’s what kept me in the closet for so long. Then I realized that my sexuality wouldn’t dishonor my family. Why do we feel so shameful about being gay? Why are we so afraid to tell our family about ourselves? What can we do to change the tide? I think narratives like Velásquez’s will help with at least starting a conversation in more mainstream audiences.

Velásquez’s modeling career took off after befriending a gay hairstylist who encouraged her to enter the 1989 Miss Venezuela pageant, where she placed second. The pageant put her on the map (and enabled her to meet her first girl crush), but she had to struggle financially and physically to get there.

Straight Walk gives you a tiny taste of the ’90s supermodel era, which was fascinating. She was flying here, flying there, meeting famous photographers, shooting at exotic locations, meeting with clients, going to parties. The only reason I remotely had any idea what Velasquez’s life was like was because I watched like 8 cycles of America’s Next Top Model. Thanks, Tyra! Of course, Velasquez’s career wasn’t all fun and couture outfits, but strife and hard work. She battled language and cultural barriers while working in Europe, barely making enough for new winter boots. Worst of all, she was lonely.

I didn’t know how much of a trailblazer Velasquez was for Latinas in modeling and fashion. She’s considered the “first Latina supermodel” and she was one of the first Latinas to be the face of CoverGirl in the US. She talks extensively how different she looked from the other models in Europe; she was brown, curvy and had her indigenous ancestor’s eyes compared to her white, thin, big-eyed counterparts. You’ll also appreciate Velásquez’s feminist take on different aspects of the industry, even from the perspective of her younger, inexperienced self. Surprisingly, I learned about the many women who helped other women in the modeling world, and Velásquez takes the time to give them a shout out and describe how instrumental these women were in her career.

About midway into the book we finally get to the moment we’ve all been waiting for: she meets Sandra Bernhard at a Paris fashion show, Sandra invites Velasquez to her hotel room, and eventually they make out. That’s when it all clicks for her, and she starts recognizing all the times she liked girls in the past but didn’t know how to articulate those feelings — but her first love is Sandra. Because of her relationship with Sandra, Velasquez learns English (and how to use credit cards!), moves to New York and transitions to the American modeling world. I’ll stop there — you should read the book if you want to hear about her subsequent relationships with women and her daughter, Maya!

I got to speak briefly with the Venezuelan supermodel, actress and activist last week. She was super nice and she even complimented me when I pronounced her name correctly. Here’s what she had to say about her new memoir, coming out now vs. then, inspiring gay Latinas, the kinds of pastries she brought Sandra Bernhard years ago and working on set of The L Word.

As a Latina, I really connected to all your feelings surrounding the shame you felt in not pleasing your family or feeling like a failure in the eyes of your family, especially with you being gay. Is that something you still struggle with?

I don’t feel shame anymore. I think the book was definitely the last bit of release, in a way, that I had to do in order to feel really proud of who I am. I think the transformation started way before. I don’t feel shame about anything in my life now.

I can tell you I feel that I’m not good enough in many things in my life. I think that’s a constant thing for a lot of artists. You try to work your hardest and try to achieve the best in what you do, and it’s a constant thing that I’m not good enough. Instead of me going and feeling sorry for myself, I try to be very proactive about it so instead of saying poor me, poor me, poor me, which is the worst type of ego — the victim ego. There’s the ego that says I’m so great and the ego that says poor me, poor me, poor me — that’s the worst of them, so I try not to let that ego affect me. I just try to be very proactive and when I don’t think I’m good at something I try to get better at it.

You talk about in your book how hard it was for gay people to be out in the 90s, even for someone as famous as Sandra Bernhard and her friends. Is that why you never confirmed you were gay or made it known publicly?

I knew it was hard to come out. I think my life was just set that way because I lived in the fashion world and I was very much on my own and when I had my relationship with Sandra, communication wasn’t like it is nowadays — so it was almost like my family and country were there and my other life was here and they just didn’t cross. It became hard once I really was sure I was gay and I wanted to live my life openly and as the years went by, well I had to be honest to my family and to the people around me and I did — I was — for many years.

The thing is it wasn’t up until now, Yvonne, and in the last few years that I realized how important it was for me, you know. I’m an Aquarius and we fight for causes, that’s what we do. That’s why I have the [Wayúu Taya] Foundation, that’s why I help AIDS, and that’s why I live my life, through a lot of the causes I fight for. But I never really felt that I had to stand up per say as a gay woman from the Latin world or a minority because I felt I was fighting so many other causes — saving children in the poor areas of Latin America, making schools and women’s centers and empowering women — so instead of taking a stand for myself, I was taking a stand for all the poor people that are indigenous like I grew up. It’s almost like that has been my cause for years and it has taken everything: time, money, effort, work … just so much.

It wasn’t till just a few years ago that I realized now I have a daughter and it’s true to be gay in the Latin world, not in the US, a little bit in the US, but to be gay or be part of a minority in any part of the world, it’s very difficult. I’m just so lucky that I can live in a place like the US where I can be my self. I feel like I need to really take a stand in places where people can’t be themselves because society tells them they can’t be themselves. The biggest example I want to give to my daughter when she grows up is to be strong, to come out of adversity, to be proud of who she is and to never deny who she is, which I didn’t by the way, I just never had the necessity to talk about it until just a few years ago and that’s when I started writing the book.

Looking back now, would you have said something back then? Or was this just the right time for you?

You know, I think everyone has their time on things and I feel this was my time. I was trying to fight for other causes and I was also going through a process myself. I didn’t really feel the need because I don’t hide myself; I live my life very openly in L.A. and New York. My daughter goes to school where there’s all kinds of diverse families around in L.A. so it’s not like it’s affecting my life and the way I live my life. Yeah, maybe there’s more paparazzi waiting but it’s never really been an issue for me how I live my life openly. It’s more in relationship to, first, send a message to my daughter and, second, to stand up for other gay women in the Latin world and people in other countries. If you go on Twitter right now, and you search my name, there’s thousands of tweets in Spanish coming from so many countries talking about this. The real way we can create change is by being truthful to ourselves. I hope to inspire others, not only my daughter, to live their truths and that really is the main message of the book is to inspire you to live your truths — whatever that truth is, just to be honest with yourself.

I’m really happy that you’re able to continue that conversation in Latino communities, not only in the U.S. but around the world as well. I see what you’re saying. That was one of my other questions, but I guess you already answered it. You talk about how you want your book to start a conversation about being Latina and gay. Is that the biggest thing you wanted to accomplish with starting that conversation, is for other people to live their truths?

Yes, I definitely hope to inspire other people to live their truths. That is the main message of the book. As I mentioned before, we’re lucky enough to live in a country where we can live but there’s a lot to do. There’s a long road we still have to go in the U.S. But other countries? It doesn’t have to do with your sexuality, gay or not gay, I think in general. Women can’t work in many places, they can’t dress freely, they don’t have the same rights as we do. Whatever minority group you belong, I just hope to inspire you to take a risk, because if you don’t, you’re going to become a vegetable.

I want to go back to talk about your relationship with Sandra really quick. What kind of pastries did you bring Sandra when you met her in her hotel?

Boy, I don’t remember. I like what they call mille-fueille and the ones that have the cream inside, I don’t know what they’re called but they’re long. I’m sure it was those because they’re my favorite.

Sandra was an extremely important person in my life. I have nothing but beautiful memories and I owe her so much. As you’ve read in the book, you can read that all over, on how much I respect her. I just hope that none of this touches her or her family in any way because they’re amazing people. She has a family, I have my family. This is something that should be nothing but positive in relationship to gay women and having a family and parenting. She has her daughter, I have my daughter and we just want to make sure that we create a path that is very positive for them. I have nothing but admiration and thankfulness toward Sandra.

You didn’t talk about this in your book but what was it like being on the set of The L Word, a show that undoubtedly impacted lesbians on a cultural level? What were your feelings being on that set at that point in time in your life?

One of the reasons why I don’t talk about The L Word and all that stuff in my book is because that transformation had already happened. I was in a relationship and I already had a daughter. For me, I have a lot of respect for Ilene Chaiken who created that show and she was a friend for many years before. When she asked me to come on the show, I said to Ilene, look, it needs to be something that is meaningful to me. We had thought of developing a story of a woman and something to do with immigration but when I went on to the set to then develop my character the show didn’t get picked up. It was the last season, so my role never actually got to get developed because they had to give closure to all the other roles. It wasn’t expected.

Patricia as Begoña, the actress playing Marina/Karina in Lez Girls, on The L Word.

Now, in terms of my experience being on the set and everything, it was wonderful. Ilene and all the girls from The L Word and the crew, they had already worked for such a long time that it was a very tight group, very professional, very open, very sweet and nice. It was shot in Vancouver which is an amazing city so for me it was like a holiday when I went there. I had such a good time. They treated me very well, it was a job and I was excited to develop this role and do something different. Then it just didn’t get developed so that’s how it stayed. I took it as something good that happened for a little while.

Pick up Straight Walk on Amazon right now!

Patricia Velásquez Is Gay: Latina Supermodel, Actress & Activist Comes Out In New Memoir

Rumors about the former relationship between Venezuelan model and actress Patricia Velásquez and comedian Sandra Bernhard have existed for decades now, fueled partially by Bernhard’s own admission. The two were said to have met at a fashion show in Paris in the early 90s. According to The Scottish Daily Record, Sandra asked Patricia to meet her in her hotel that afternoon, and she came over 45 minutes later with pastries, ready to make out. Now, in her new memoir, Straight Walk, coming out February 10th, Velásquez confirms that relationship and her lesbian identity, revealing that Sandra Bernhard was actually the first girl she kissed. “I was deeply in love with Sandra,” she wrote in her book, “in a way I’d never experienced before.”

pre-order on amazon

It’s a major revelation from the legendary Velásquez, who is considered by many to be the world’ “First Latina Supermodel” — she’s been in several Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Editions, appeared on the cover of Vogue, walked the runway for Gucci and Dolce & Gabbana, been featured in campaigns for Cover Girl and Pantene, just for starters. She’s perhaps best known for her role as Anck-Su-Namun in The Mummy and The Mummy Returns, but you may recognize her from Arrested Development (she was the second actress to play Colombian soap opera star Marta Estrella) and The L Word (she played Begoña, the actress playing Marina/Karina in Lez Girls). 

In “The L Word”

Velásquez grew up in poverty in a village with no running water and a mother who struggled to feed her six children, willing to sacrifice anything for their success and happiness. Her mother is a member of the Indigenous Wayúu people and her father is Mestizo. As a teenager, Velásquez was urged by a hairdresser friend to go into modeling. She went on a diet of chicken and tomato juice in order to compete in the 1989 Miss Venezuela pageant, in which she placed second. After three years of college, she moved to Milan and began her modeling career.

She’s also a mother and an award-winning activist and humanitarian. She’s the founder of the Wayúu Taya Foundation, a nonprofit organization dedicated to “educating the public and funding ways to improve conditions of Latin American indigenous groups, respecting their culture and belief.” In 2009, she received a “Women Together” award at the United Nations and the UN’s Solidarity Award in November 2010. In 2011 she launched her own organic line of beauty products, Taya Beauty, which are grown in environmentally sustainable programs in South American indigenous communities.

Her press materials note that in the book, she will “poignantly recall not only the triumphant story of working tirelessly to lift her family out of poverty, but also her years of feeling isolated, living a lie and hiding her true self from those she loved most.” The New York Post reviewer says that although Velásquez’s family was ultimately supportive of her coming out, “she also felt compelled to come out in a book, mainly because there’s so much prejudice that remains in the Latin community.” Her book is blurbed by heavyweights including Russell Simmons, Mariel Hemmingway and Narcisco Rodriguez, and promises to share a “strong message” about “the importance of female empowerment.”

In “The Mummy Returns”

Book Soup has this, vis a vis Post Hill Press:

“For many years, Patricia used her professional success to compensate for a secret she hid from her family. She convinced herself that her family’s happiness was more important than her own, and she spent years feeling achingly alone. Worse, she didn’t know the price she d pay for keeping a secret and living a lie, preventing not only herself from walking her journey, but those she loved most. Now she shares her story to empower others to live authentic lives and find their truth.”

Velásquez’s struggle is retrospectively apparent in interviews like this 2001 interview with Cinema.com, in which she fielded questions about why she doesn’t have a boyfriend (“I travel too much”), what she looks for in a man (“Anything that isn’t macho”) and whether or not she fears that one day she’ll “wake up and feel really lonely” if she doesn’t find a boyfriend soon (“No, not at all. First, I have my whole family, and I have great friends too. And I know that I’ll have kids at some point.”) before addressing the rumours about Sandra Bernhard:

There are all these rumours that you had an affair with [Sandra Bernhard. Are they true?]
Everyone talks about Sandra. Look, she was a very, very important person in my life – and she still is. She was a friend, she was like a mother to me, and also like my daughter sometimes. I had no idea who she was when we first met in France. She came to do a show and we became really good friends. People say many things, but at the end of the day people can say what they want. Sandra is somebody that I have in my heart forever, because I didn’t even speak English when I met her, and she taught me so much. I didn’t even know what a credit card was, or frequent flier cards or any of that stuff. She really, really helped me.

Velásquez’s accomplishments made her a role model before she ever sat down to write this book, but now that she has, she’s likely to inspire countless others to live their own truths. We can’t wait to see what she does next!

Our Senior Editor Yvonne Marquez will likely be interviewing Patricia soon, so if you have any questions you’d like her to ask, let us know in the comments! You can pre-order Straight Walk on Amazon now!

15 Lesbian Couples Time Forgot

Sure, everybody knows about Portia and Ellen. But there are likely many other fantastic pairings you never knew about or totally forgot about or vaguely remember but not really anymore! THIS IS IMPORTANT HERSTORY.

15 Lesbian Couples Time Forgot

*indicates that one member of the couple has refused to confirm the relationship

1. Tracy Chapman & Alice Walker

Alice Walker (© Roger Ressmeyer/CORBIS) & Tracy Chapman (© Lynn Goldsmith/Corbis)

The brilliant shy musician Tracy Chapman, who drove a fast car into all of our souls forever, and the legendary Alice Walker, author of The Color Purple, dated in the mid-1990s. Walker spoke to The Guardian about the relationship in 2006:

“Why was it kept so quiet at the time? “It was quiet to you maybe but that’s because you didn’t live in our area,” she answers with a throaty laugh. She has written about the relationship in her journals, which she plans to publish one day.

So why did they decide against using their relationship to make a big social impact like other celebrity lesbian couples, such as Ellen DeGeneres and Anne Heche, have in the past? The idea seems to amuse her. “I would never do that. My life is not to be somebody else’s impact – you know what I mean? And it was delicious and lovely and wonderful and I totally enjoyed it and I was completely in love with her but it was not anybody’s business but ours.”

In 1967, Alice Walker married Melvyn Roseman Leventhal, becoming the first legally married interracial couple in Mississippi, but the two divorced in 1976. Walker told The Globe and Mail in May that she is not heterosexual or gay, just “curious.”

2. Ellen Degeneres & Alexandra Hedison

Before she began engaging in knife-play with Helena Peabody, Alexandra Hedison engaged in loveplay with Ellen DeGeneres, who she met via mutual friends in 2000 after Ellen and Anne Heche broke up. Although she was a cast member of The L Word and played bit parts in Lois & Clark, Melrose Place, Nash Bridges and L.A. Firefighters; Hedison’s primary occupation is photography. She’s also directed an animated film, In the Dog House, and a documentary, The Making of Suit Yourself. They lived together in Ellen’s Hollywood Hills home until December 2004, when the two split up, Heddison moved out, and a “source close to the couple” told The New York Daily News that “it’s difficult for both of them and very sad. They were a private couple, and they hope they can separate privately.” Recently rumors began swirling that Hedison has hooked up with another major lesbian power player – Jodie Foster.

3. Ione Skye & Jenny Shimizu

Bisexual actress Ione Skye (best known for her role in Say Anything) fell for legendary model/actress Jenny Shimizu when they met on the set of Quentin Tarantino’s movie Four Rooms, around the time that Skye’s seven-year marriage with Beastie Boy Adam Horowitz was crumbling into a million little pieces. Skye reportedly admitted, “I guess I was just looking for love. I was reeling, I didn’t know what I wanted. When Adam and I split up, I was making Four Rooms with Madonna. She had this gay entourage. She introduced me to them. And I have to admit, I dallied.” She described Shimizu as “kind of boylike, kind of dykey” with “a great figure.” Clearly, Jenny Shimizu has mad game. I mean she also dated Angelina Jolie. So.

4. Amy Ray & Jennifer Baumgardener

Jennifer Baumgardner, esteemed third-wave feminist activist, former editor of Ms., prolific journalist and author of  Manifesta: Young Women, Feminism and the Future, Grassroots: A Field Guide for Feminist Activism and Look Both Ways: Bisexual Politics, dated The Indigo Girls‘ Amy Ray from 1997 to 2002! Now Baumgardner lives in New York with her husband Michael and their two sons, and Amy Ray has been dating a lady in Seattle for the last ten years.

5. Patricia Velásquez & Sandra Bernhard*

Venezuelan model and actress Patricia Velásquez is best known for her print and runway work (she’s also been in several Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Editions) and her role as Anck-Su-Namun in The Mummy and The Mummy Returns. You may recognize her from Arrested Development (she was the second actress to play Colombian soap opera star Marta Estrella) and The L Word (she played Begoña, the actress playing Marina/Karina in Lez Girls). But did you know that she dated outspoken lesbian comedienne Sandra Bernhard in 1992? The two met at a fashion show in Paris. In her memoir Straight Walk, Velásquez confirmed that relationship and her lesbian identity, revealing that Sandra Bernhard was actually the first girl she kissed. “I was deeply in love with Sandra,” she wrote in her book, “in a way I’d never experienced before.”

6. Meshell Ndegeocello & Rebecca Walker

photo of Rebecca Walker via © Brian Velenchenko/Corbis

Alice Walker’s oft-estranged daughter, the writer and activist Rebecca Walker (Black, White and Jewish, Baby Love: Choosing Motherhood After a Lifetime of Ambivalence, BLACK COOL), was in a long term relationship with crush-worthy bisexual singer Meshell Ndegeocello once upon a time, a pairing which AfterEllen says was “for years… the most out couple in the black lesbian community.”

Ndegeocello and Walker co-parented Ndgeocello’s son, Soloman, born in 1989. Ndegeocello now lives in upstate New York with her partner of eight years, Alison, who had a baby in 2009. Ndegeocello spoke openly about her family to OUT Magazine in 2010, noting that “it’s kind of important to get it out into society about people who are gay or different, that they can have a family.”

Walker now lives in Maui with her partner, Buddhist teacher Choyin Rangdrol (or “Glen,” as Walker calls him) and her 11-year-old son, Tenzin. In 2012, she wrote about her first girlfriend and discovering her attraction to women for Marie Claire Magazine.

7. Portia De Rossi & Francesca Gregorini

If you’re anything like me, you’ve been asking yourself “What happened before Ellen?” pretty much constantly for at least ten years. Well, now we all know. It was Francesca Gregorini, an Italian writer and directer and the daughter or Bond Girl Barbara Bach and businessman Augusto Gregorini and the stepdaughter of Ringo Starr. Gregorini has also been rumored to have dated director Kimberly Pierce and actress Amber Heard.

8. Rosie O’Donnell & Sophie B Hawkins*

I’ve been hearing about this one for what feels like a decade, but although Rosie’s open about it, Sophie isn’t. Damn, I wish I could hear about her being her lover.

9. Leisha Hailey & KD Lang

These two are like the ultimate “omg remember when ____” couple. Crooner k.d. Lang and actress/musician Leisha Hailey, then a singer in The Murmurs, met at a friend’s birthday party in 1996 and broke up in 2000. Hailey has never talked much about their relationship, telling The Advocate, “It’s a very private matter for me. I learned a tremendous amount from that relationship, and I’m very sentimental about it and look back on it with beautiful memories.” She says their lifestyle “was about being at home and being with our dog.”

10. Camilla Grey & Clea Duvall

If you’re following along at home on your Chart then you will see that Leisha Hailey connects the prior couple to this couple! The exact timeline of this relationship is unclear, but it was definitely in full bloom circa Uh Huh Her‘s 2007 debut, during which time Clea was doing photography for the band. After their split, Grey hooked up with bandmate Leisha Hailey and Duvall kissed a girl in the park and also got all of our hopes up about Ellen Page.

11. Susan Powter & Jessica Kirson

Susan Powter, ’90s fitness icon (author of Stop the Insanity!) and current fitness/lifestyle/yoga guru, dated lesbian comedian Jessica Kirson circa 2008-2009-ish. Prior to dating Jessica, Powter had dated Animal of the band Bitch & Animal. Powter had divorced twice and had two sons by the time she came out in Curve magazine in 2004, describing herself a a “radical feminist lesbian woman.” She adopted a third son and presently lives in a self-described “earth ship” in New Mexico. Kirson, the stepsister of Zach Braff, has appeared on Last Comic Standing, Last Call With Carson Daily, The Tonight Show With Jay Leno and Comedy Central’s Premium Blend.  The internet offers no recent updates regarding her relationship status.

12 & 13. Rita Mae Brown & Fannie Flagg // Rita Mae Brown & Martina Navratilova

Rita Mae Brown was quite the romancer back in the day. She lived with Martina Navratilova from 1979-1981, a relationship which likely inspired her novel Sudden Death, about a lesbian tennis player. Martina went on to famously and publicly date beauty queen and mother-of-two Judy Nelson, starting in 1983, and when the couple suffered a messy breakup in 1991, it was Rita Mae who mediated their palimony dispute — and who then moved in with Judy. Rita Mae wrote the intro to Judy’s book Love Match, which was about her affair with Martina. Much later, Rita would meet Fannie Flagg at a party thrown by Marlo Thomas, but Rita has said that her relationship with Fannie ended up not working out because of generational differences: “It doesn’t mean we  don’t love each other, [it just means] we will never see the world quite the same because of our tremendous losses and disillusionment and then the realization that ‘Oh my god, we gotta fight back.'”

14. Amanda Moore & Kate Young

Model Amanda Moore and ex-Vogue writer Kate Young were featured in New York Magazine’s Sexiest Couples of 2003 with the following tidbit: “Now, that’s lesbian chic. Kate’s an ex–Vogue-ette with Marilyn-blonde hair and a pixie face. Amanda’s a tall, dark runway regular. They recently posed, making out, for iD magazine. And why not?”

15. Lindsay Lohan & Courtenay Semel

On the cover of Curve magazine in 2009, Courtenay Semel, daughter of former Yahoo! CEO Terry Semel, described herself as the “lesbian Don Juan,” having been linked romantically to Lindsay Lohan, Tila Tequlia and the now-deceased heiress Casey Johnson. Lohan and Semel were linked shortly prior to Lohan’s relationship with Samantha Ronson. Semel also appeared in Curve magazine again this month because she painted a large colorful mural in her garage.

It was difficult to determine exactly the proper level of forgotteness for these couples and thus the following couples almost made the list, but then did not: Rose Troche & Guinevere Turner, Corin Tucker & Carrie Brownstein, Linda Perry & Clementine Ford, Romi Klinger & Dani Campbell, Cherry Jones & Sarah Paulson. But perhaps you remember all these fine feathered felines like it was just yesterday! Keep the memory alive, friends!

Team Pick: Enough Punk To Last You At Least 3 Days

(feature image: Poly Styrene & X Ray Spex, via Collapse Board)

You know those things you could do any time of the day or night? Like how there’s no bad time to call your best friend, or how you could always eat mac’n’cheese, even if you’re not hungry? I’m almost always in the mood to watch women change the world by jumping around onstage and playing fast-paced guitar-based music. So stumbling upon this Women in Punk video collection from Network Awesome felt like winning a lifetime’s supply of endorphins.

JOAN JETT & CHERIE CURRIE, OF THE RUNAWAYS AND ALSO ALL MY WILDEST DREAMS

There are 30 shows in here, made up of over 400 video clips, divided into five sets because this was released over the course of a week. Each of the “days” starts with a compilation of live performances by pillars, from The Runaways playing “Cherry Bomb” on Japanese TV in 1977 to Yeah Yeah Yeahs ripping through “Date With The Night” three decades later. Watch them all in a row and it’s like a multisensory time-lapse of a movement taking shape. The sunshiney three-chord pop-punk of The B Girls (1977-81) moves down the alphabet and morphs into the minor key squalls of the Vivian Girls (2008-now), who kept the harmonies but ditched the matching sweaters. Carrie Brownstein probably had posters of Poison Ivy from The Cramps on her bedroom wall growing up.

SHONEN KNIFE {VIA GIANT ROBOT}

As if that weren’t enough, there are real documentaries, fake documentaries, interviews, professional wrestling matches, fashion advice from Vivienne Westwood, and seventy-seven full minutes of Kate Bush. By the time I got to The Siouxie and the Banshees Story I had contracted a rebellion infection and almost didn’t write this article. But then I saw a Poly Styrene interview and remembered the community aspect of punk, and I was like “fine.”

PEACHES {VIA LA WEEKLY}

Network Awesome is an online TV repository, sourced from Youtube and curated by people who have cool ideas and know where to look to flesh them out. New shows go up every day, and they’re often accompanied by original magazine articles that offer context or criticism to help wash down what you just watched (a few days ago they had this sweet double-order of riot grrrl). No decade is too remote, no subject too arcane, no footage too fuzzy. It’s like a great mixtape from someone you just met, only with more explosions and weird infomercials.

KAREN O {VIA FANPOP}

Another great thing about Network Awesome — you can’t go three clicks without bumping into something Relevant To Our Interests. If your head needs a break from ‘banging, but your eyes aren’t tired, you may want to go back in time to yesterday, which brought us Sandra Bernhard, a lingerie show, and a replacement late-night dance troupe called Legs & Co. Then there’s a collagelike Diane Arbus documentary and an extensive audiovisual Tribute to Cats. Have at it.

Top 10 Less Destructive Sandys I Have Known

Sure, hurricanes are fun and all — school is canceled, work is canceled, all responsibilities involving electricity are canceled, and you can hang out in the dark in your pajamas and go down Vanessa’s Frankenstorm list until you’re totally wasted and covered in wax. But eventually, you look out your window at all the downed trees and flooded streets and start to think you might prefer the company of a different Sandy — one that’s less windy, less watery, and maybe a little more sociable. Here are some options!

10.  Sandra Lee

ONLY TWO COLORS SURVIVED HURRICANE SANDRA LEE

The semi-controversial host of “Semi-Homemade Cooking with Sandra Lee” would rather whip up a Memorial Day Sea Buffet tablescape than wantonly destroy your waterfront property. She can also help you use up all those canned vegetables you just bought in a panic. So she earns our number ten spot, despite her propensity for damaging the English language.

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9.  Sandy Cheeks

HOWDY, Y’ALL

Fuzzy, good-natured, and two-dimensional, Sandy Cheeks is not likely to wreak havoc on anything larger than an acorn. Although I think I remember her secretly being kind of creepily strong? And maybe knowing karate? Damn it, Nickolodeon, this is why I don’t have room in my brain for my parents’ birthdays.

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8.  Sandy West

drummer, The Runaways

MORE OF A TROPICAL STORM

She cofounded the only commercially successful 1970s teenage-girl hard-rock band (which makes her indirectly responsible for the maelstrom that was Kristen Stewart having a Shane haircut). She provided a backbeat for human tornado Joan Jett for years. And she helped write “Cherry Bomb,” which has probably led to a few smashed curfews and windows. But could she pound the skins hard enough to close the New York Stock Exchange? Sometimes I wish she’d tried.

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7.  Sandra Bernhard

LOOK AT THIS FACE, IS THIS THE FACE OF A HURRICANE? OH WAIT

Sandra Bernhard, openly lesbian actress/comedienne/singer/author/icon, has broken barriers. She has broken friendships the rest of us can only dream of possessing in the first place *ahem Madonna ahem*. She has even attempted to break Jenny Schecter’s ego. But she has never, to my knowledge, broken any storm surge records, except in my heart.

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6.  Sandy, The Reluctant Nature Girl

OH NO, MY LID!

Have I ever seen this movie? No. Do I know anything about this movie besides what I learned from the poster? No. But clearly reluctance, frivolity, and “sun-kissed color” have no place in a storm. Although maybe you should rent this, just in case I’m wrong.

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5.  Sandra Day O’Connor

O’CONNOR ATTEMPTS TO CONJURE UP AN ANTI-STORM

After shattering glass ceilings, overturning precedents, and swinging votes for several decades, O’Connor has entered a well-deserved retirement. But her power is such that I’m not convinced this hurricane isn’t the work of her little-known alter ego, Sandra Night O’Connor.

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4.  Sandy

Annie’s dog

ANNIE AND SANDY EVACUATE

Sure, Sandy’s shown some teeth in his time – saving Annie from cartoon kidnappers, saving Annie from onstage kidnappers, saving Annie from live-action-film kidnappers.  But can you put a hurricane on a leash? No.

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3.  Pecan Sandies

EVEN I COULD CRUMBLE THIS PYRAMID

The only thing these are capable of wrecking is my appetite for dinner after I eat an entire bag of them because my definition of “nonperishables” is “things with the Keebler logo on them.” Hopefully the magic tree stays up during the storm.

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2.  Sandy Ricks

Flipper

WATERY SANDY

Remember the part in the movie when Elijah Wood kicks a soda can into the water, and Flipper kicks it back? That was so cute. I would like to see him try to kick a soda can into ninety-mile-per-hour winds.

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1.  Sandy Olsen

Grease

SHE CAN STILL DANCE UP A STORM, THOUGH

As Riese thoughtfully puts it, “Sandy from Grease is criticized by her peers for being so goshdarn harmless.” And she’s more likely to get washed up (on a beach, or as one of those beauty school dropouts) than to flotsamize anything else. I don’t think even a hurricane could mess up John Travolta’s hair, though.

Howard Stern & Sandra Bernhard Talk Real L Word, Kate Moennig Crushes

It was a big day to be gay and a Howard Stern fan.

While Howard gave up on The Real L Word after his initial review, his wife Beth Ostrosky continued watching and pretty much loves it. So, here we have Howard’s second review of TRLW and it looks he may be a convert. He seems fascinated by Whitney‘s apparent standing as “the gay prize” since all the girls are after her and riffs about her “red wings” for a bit. He obviously missed our “Is It Sex?” flowchart cause he’s still confused by “lesbian fucking” and says the show isn’t answering any of his questions.

Sandra Bernhard & partner Sara Switzer

Comedian Sandra Bernhard was the guest today so they got down to business and compared notes on the finer points of the latest episode (Sandra would NOT have sex with a woman on her period, just FYI). Howard’s wife Beth was a huge fan of The L Word (OG) and he used to make sporadic references to her leaving him for Shane. Beth swings by the studio later in the interview and reveals that Howard once invited Kate Moennig to come on the show so Beth could meet her but she turned it down (probs was nervous about being outed?). Of course, Sandra has no problem doing just that 5 seconds later.  There’s also a super weird moment where Sandra is about to mention Nikki & Jill but Howard freaks out and prevents her from mentioning Nikki’s name. INTERESTING. They also comment that Sandra’s long time girlfriend, Sara, looks like Tracy (lucky ducky). Overall, Beth loves the show and Sandra was bored, though she found the wedding dress shopping to be sweet.

Later, a caller brings up Lindsay Lohan and Sandra weighs in on bad parenting and hopes Lindsay can have a “renaissance” after this is all over. Remember when we asked Sandra if she had any advice for Lindsay & Samantha? That was fun.

LISTEN to Howard Stern & Sandra Bernhard chat about lesbian sex & The Real L Word:

[this audio combines several different conversations from the same day, forgive the splicing!]

Sandra Bernhard Does NYC for the Holidays: The Autostraddle Interview

Jenny, Sandra Says You're a Bad Writer

Sandra Bernhard had been performing stand-up and doing guest spots on talk shows when she got her first “big break” in 1983, cast as stalker and kidnapper Marsha in Martin Scorcese’s The King of Comedy. But she is perhaps best known by the mainstream for her role on Roseanne; when between 1991-1997 (far before WeHo Glamazons roamed the open plains & gays had their very own sketch show), Sandra Bernhard played one of the first openly lesbian recurring characters on American television.

But Sandra was really just getting started — she’s written & performed several off-Broadway shows, recorded a dozen musical/comedy albums, made iconic appearances on David Letterman and Howard Stern, and guest-starred on tons of TV shows including Will & Grace and The L Word.

Sandra is f*cking BOLD. She’s been stirring shit up consistently over the past two decades, from her 1992 Playboy pictorial to her infamous appearance on David Letterman with gal-pal Madonna where the duo dressed identically and dropped sexual references like they were hot, to her highly publicized/disputed feud with Sarah Palin in 2008, during which she awesomely referred to Palin’s religion as “new goyish crappy shiksa funky bullshit!”

She’s unafraid to be brassy and gay and loud and opinionated and that’s what makes her such a fascinating person and enigmatic stage performer. It’s a rare quality. Her live shows are a mix of stand-up comedy, musings on pop culture and musical performances.  She is performing 8 (!) shows at Joe’s Pub in New York City, December 26 – 31, and you don’t wanna miss that shit.

Jess: How has being out in Hollywood changed since you first started on Roseanne in the early 90s?

Sandra: I think that through all the portrayals of gay characters on TV and film, and through the AIDS crisis, that people are starting to be more and more comfortable in their own skin. And with the younger generation, it’s a non-issue, it’s a non-starter. People are just who they are and that’s how it should be for everybody. Nobody should give a shit about what anyone else is doing and mind their own business. That goes for gay marriage as well… nobody’s forcing you to get married to someone of the same sex so don’t worry about it. Let it be, live and let live.

Jess: Why do you think there are still so many closeted actors and actresses in Hollywood?

Sandra: Well, I think it depends on the kinds of roles, especially the guys for leading roles. A lot of people aren’t comfortable with themselves in any circumstances, so it’s part of the whole way of looking at themselves in their lives. I think it takes balance and work to be happy in your own skin and in your life.

Jess: I know you knew Ilene Chaiken 20 years ago. What was it like working on The L Word (during the 2^nd season)?

Sandra: We haven’t really hung out in years… I was friends with her in 1984 actually. She’s, ya know…a very interesting person, a little intense. She was a different person back then, obviously. She wasn’t writing yet. It was fun doing the show. It was a good show to be on. I wished my character was a little more interesting, but the sexuality of the show was a little over the top so that didn’t really speak to me. I didn’t wanna be  a character who was having an affair with someone, but she kinda was….

Jess: Did you keep up with it to the end?

Sandra: No, I kinda peeked in on it now and again, but it got really stupid.  I mean, it was totally unbelievable and wasn’t fun anymore.

Jess: What current comedians out there really make you laugh?

Sandra: Paul Mooney who discovered me, Lea DeLaria is super funny, Justin Bond, Lady Bunny. Of course, Roseanne is really funny and insane. And Suzanne Westenhoefer.

Jess: Yes! We saw her on the Sweet cruise in November and she was hilarious. What are you listening to right now?

Sandra: I like Lady Gaga, I think she’s really talented. I think she’s a good songwriter and her whole kind of weird styling and hiding behind other characters makes an interesting statement. I’m really enjoying Carla Bruni’s album, I just got turned on to The Black Keys. My daughter is really into Regina Spektor and I’ve been enjoying listening to that as well. I like a couple things on Rihanna’s new album… I’ll probably download that song that Mary J. Blige sang from the movie Precious.

Jess: Of course, Pink.

“People are kinda numb. I think they’re on the internet all day long, following celebrities and reality TV, and when it comes time to really roll up their sleeves and try to affect change, they get lazy.”

Sandra: Pink, yea, of course!  I love Pink. Everything she does. She’s so committed to it and she’s got such a great voice and she has such ease at what she does and I think it’s fantastic.

Jess: Her live show is amazing. She does all these live acrobatics. The physicality of the show is impressive in & of itself.

Sandra: I know! I missed her when she was in New York, I didn’t even know she was here, it was so stupid…I’ve gotta track her down. Her show is supposed to be unbelievable.

Jess: You do a lot of covers in your live show. I remember you performed Circus by Britney Spears last Christmas and re-wrote the lyrics to Dolly Parton’s Jolene to revolve around Angelina Jolie. Those were hilarious. Do you have any favorites that you perform?

Sandra: I’m actually reprising those for this run at Joe’s Pub.  I only did it here and in San Francisco and was like “what, I can never do it again?”  I got it down even more than last year so I’m excited to do it again. I’m also doing a song from my new album that came out this year, Whatever it Takes. I always love doing hair-metal ballads and stuff. I’ve been doing them for so long that I think I’ve run out of them…

Jess: You’re obviously a very prominent New Yorker [Summer in New York; HuffPo]. How did you feel about the recent gay marriage fail in the New York Senate?

Sandra: Well, I think people are scared to let go of stuff right now. I think because of the health care and the financial state of things, people just want to control everything they can control and I think gay marriage is very threatening to a lot of people, I don’t know why. People are kind of inherently selfish so if they can hold on to things that belong to them then they’re gonna do that.  It’s really weird, but it’ll change.

Jess: Are you disappointed in Obama so far?

Sandra: I’m disappointed in the American government and in the lack of enthusiasm for what we could do. People are kinda numb. I think they’re on the internet all day long, following celebrities and reality TV, and when it comes time to really roll up their sleeves and try to affect change, they get lazy. And that to me is a terrible bummer. He’s doing the best he can, I mean, look at the legacy he was left with… I mean it was a pile of shit! We were in deep, deep shit and was he just supposed to come in and transform it overnight? People still think the same way even though he won. He’s battling all sorts of stupidity and ignorance and fear within our own government. I’m holding out good, positive thoughts for him. Is he 100% the way I think, no, but nobody would be unless ya know, you and I were running the government.

Jess: Why do you think there’s so much separatism between gay men and lesbians?

Sandra: I think we’re two different animals. Why’s there so much separation between men and women? The only difference is that straight men marry women, but they do everything they can to get away from their wives. They don’t really like their wives. They love them, they need them, they depend on them, they have children with them, but do they really wanna hang out with them? Most of them don’t. We’re just two different beasts…we don’t think alike.  Then you add in the whole sexuality and the fact that gay men don’t need women at all. It’s like…not that big of a surprise. I think gay men and women get along better now than they did 20 or 30 years ago, I think we have more in common than we did then, but…. I think it’s just nature.

Sandra with Madonna, 1990

“Why’s there so much separation between men and women? The only difference is that straight men marry women, but they do everything they can to get away from their wives.”

Jess: I get really upset when gay men sometimes make fun of lesbians or lesbians will complain that gay men are just superficial and flighty. Shouldn’t we all be together now more than ever, rather than picking on one another?

Sandra: Yea, see it’s the human condition. People are selfish, gay, straight or otherwise. It’s not a happy thing, but it’s a real thing.

Jess: You’re big into Twitter. Who is your favorite celeb or celeb trainwreck to follow?

Sandra: I was following Courtney Love but I couldn’t take it anymore.

Jess: So funny you say that, our friend Stef who works with Autostraddle is @CLTranslated and she translates all of Courtney Love’s tweets into coherent English.

Sandra: That’s so funny… I couldn’t take it…

Jess: Do you have any advice for Lindsay & Samantha?

Sandra: I think Lindsay is a really wonderful actress, she should really try to pull it together and get back to her acting and just stay out of relationships for five years, just to grow up and have peace of mind. And Samantha… I guess keep doing what she does.

Jess: What would be your dream job?

Sandra: Being on a really great TV series that’s fun and smart for like five years.

Jess: What are you reading right now?

Sandra: A couple of books.  The new Philip Roth called The Humbling and I’m reading a book a friend of mine wrote her experiences with surrogacy called Standing in Two Places. Her name is Ashley Dyson.  I’m reading another book called Eating Animals by Jonathan Safran Foer.

Jess: What do you have planned for 2010?

Sandra: Well, my next round of appearances are in Chicago at the Lake Shore Theater, February 11-14.

Jess: Any final thoughts for the Autostraddle readers?

Sandra: Just that this is an important time for the gay community just to be intelligent and be thoughtful and keep moving forward and not get caught up in feeling victimized. I think that’s always to me the biggest problem in the gay community – we always feel like we’ll be beaten – but we’ve made strides quicker than a lot of other marginalized communities. Just work hard, roll up your sleeves, and be creative and cool… If you really want something bad enough, like gay marriage, you gotta work for it. Nothing’s been handed to anybody throughout history. Just be smart about it.

Visit Joe’s Pub to purchase tickets for Sandra’s holiday shows in NYC,  December 26 – 31. Buy her albums (her latest, Whatever it Takes).

Follow @SandraBernhard on Twitter & sandrabernhard.com for upcoming shows in 2010.