Boobs on Your Tube: Say Hello to Your Lesbian Granny Friend on “Fantasy Island”

Hey did you know Drew and Shelli are both Sundancing this year? It’s true! Get hyped! They’re coming at you with such movie magic next week! The timing is perfect because Drew just released The Autostraddle Encyclopedia of Lesbian Cinema *and* The 50 Best Lesbian, Bisexual & Queer Movies Of All Time! Masterpieces, both! Also in the world of lesbian movies, Kayla reviewed The Drop, which is about a lesbian destination wedding and a dropped baby. Super chill.

This week’s TV times were just as exciting. Drag Race kicked off its 15th season, and Drew is recapping again. The Last of Us finally landed on HBO, to huge acclaim, and a joint review from Nic and Valerie. The Legend of Vox Machina’s second season kicked off, and Valerie Anne’s all over it. And Riese made a list of all the lesbian TV weddings in history, to celebrate Bette and Tina’s wedding on the (maybe series?) finale of The L Word: Generation Q.

Notes from the TV Team:

+ grown-ish is back! The show’s midseason premiere focused on the struggles of long distance dating between Zoey and Aaron but I’m looking forward to a return to Cal U in subsequent episodes and seeing what Zaara’s up to…fingers crossed, it’ll be reuniting with Yazmine. — Natalie

+ Did I start watching Will Trent for my long-standing love for Keema Griggs Sonja Sohn? Yes I did. Do the awesome ‘fits they have Sohn’s character, Amanda, wearing only further my love? Absolutely. Is there enough gay on this show? Not yet…but I’m hopeful. The show also features Cora Lu Tran recurring as Nico, Trent’s non-binary dog walker. — Natalie

+ Home Economics concluded its abbreviated third season this week and Caitlin McGee’s Sarah was back to spend time with the family. While I’ve missed Sarah this season, I’m grateful for the space her absence gave to the show to develop Sasheer Zamata’s Denise more. I loved getting to meet her parents and see her build a closer relationship with Connor.

Sarah’s return brought with it a return of the pregnancy conversation for the couple. With their first doctor’s appointment looming, both women are reconsidering…looking to avoid the disappointment that could come from the procedure’s failure. Ultimately, though, they decide to go ahead with it and their Season 4 (*knockonwood*) storyline is set.

Usually, I’d lament this move more a TVLine interview with showrunner Michael Colton made me feel a little more optimistic about it. Maybe this will be an IVF story that won’t drive Riese apoplectic? — Natalie

+ The gays have really been showing up and showing out on reality competition shows lately. I’ll have more for you on The Circle next week but I also wanted to give you a heads up on a new show called Traitors that debuted this week on Peacock. Ever played the game, Mafia? This show is that game but dialed up about 250k notches. It’s such a fun watch! Two highlights: Alan Cumming as the charming and enigmatic host (“a less butch Agatha Christie in a fabulous outfit”) and Andie Vanacore, the trans, non-binary contestant that you will absolutely swoon over. — Natalie

+ As your Lesbian Cartoon Correspondent, I have obviously been watching Mindy Kaling’s Velma. I’m still figuring out what in the world to say about it, and I promise to do that on this very website next week! — Heather

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Fantasy Island Episode 203: “Paymer vs. Paymer”

Written by Valerie Anne

This week’s episode was a delight for straight and gay viewers alike, truly something for everyone. One of this week’s storylines stars Desperate Housewives alum Teri Hatcher and James Denton reprising their role of on-screen spouses. The other storyline has Ruby skipping off with turns-out-not-a-teen Helene, who learns that Ruby is a 70-something 25-year-old and tries to teach her how to be more Gen Z. They drink together on the beach and Helene helps Ruby send an ill-advised drunk text to her ex-girlfriend, and Ruby admits she put her wedding ring back on to try to announce to the world that she’s not looking for love anymore. By the end of their conversation, she chucks her wedding ring into the ocean, but almost immediately regrets it. She sees a flash of something out in the water that Helene doesn’t notice, and I have a feeling that the next time we see Isla, she’ll have a little something for Ruby.

As their “parents” come to pick them up (for Helene it’s her newly discovered bio dad, for Ruby it’s Elena), Helene throws her hands around Ruby and calls her brave and smart. She says, “You’re my awesome granny friend and I love you.” I can’t tell if they’re truly just going to be bffs and have more of a family dynamic, or if there’s going to be something more there, but I did hold my breath every time their faces got close to each other just in case. We shall see!

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Criminal Minds Episode 1607: “What Doesn’t Kill Us”

Written by Valerie Anne

This week’s episode of Criminal Minds had no Rebecca sightings, but she was definitely top of mind. Tara is holding her phone, hoping to hear from her I guess ex?? I know Rebecca said she was moving out but it seems wild to me that one fight would bring someone from “I love you let’s live together” to “bye forever” even if it was about a work case that might shatter your world? Especially since Tara was just doing her job?? But what do I know.

The team can tell how heartbroken Tara is, and they’re very supportive. Rossi gives her three days to do a ten-minute task so that she can take some time. Garcia tries to encourage her to just call Rebecca and rip the bandage off, but Tara doesn’t want to push her too far too fast. She wants to give her space and time, even though it’s killing her. Eventually it gets to be too much and Tara tells Rossi that she’s going to go home and just turn her phone off for the night and try to give herself some time and space.

As she heads for the night, Tara looks wistfully at JJ, whose husband, Detective Potato Head, has come to pick her up from work for a date night. I personally would have been looking on with disdain, thinking things like, “JJ deserves so much better, literally anyone with a personality.” or even “JJ deserves to be with Emily like the gay gods intended,” but instead Tara looks Big Sad because she wants what JJ has, but with Rebecca.

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New Amsterdam 512-513: “Right Place” and “How Can I Help?”

Written by Natalie

Often, we take to this space to lament the loss of representation. Network executives and showrunners don’t recognize the value of representation and/or the staunch viewership that LGBTQ audiences bring so they cancel shows prematurely…leaving so much story on the table and leaving us to craft happy endings for our faves in fanfic. We’re left to mourn characters and shows gone too soon.

But as New Amsterdam took its final bow this week — a series finale announced back in March — I wasn’t compelled to mourn at all. I was relieved…elated, even. I thought, “well, thank God that’s over.”

To be clear, I loved Lauren Bloom. I loved her hard-earned cynicism and how loving Leyla exposed her soft center. I am grateful to Janet Montgomery for the portrayal. But more than anything, I hope that whatever comes next for Montgomery or for Shiva Kalaiselvan (Leyla) or for Freema Agyeman (Helen), they find themselves supported by a writers’ room that doesn’t traffic in misogyny and misogynoir the way New Amsterdam‘s did. They deserve better than this.

The finale gives us a look at the Lauren Bloom origin story: how a chance encounter with an unhoused man having a seizure — a man she wasn’t empowered to help — led her to a career in medicine. I would’ve loved to seen this storyline fleshed out more, in the same way that 9-1-1 has done…but, alas, there were men with problems that merited more screentime.

Bloom steps into the next phase of her life in a new apartment: a shabby loft near the the hospital. It’s not the two bedroom, two bath Battery Park apartment with a view of the Hudson River that she’d imagined for herself but this is what she needs right now…something to fix.

“I need to do it,” she tells Casey. “’cause that’s the only way it’s ever gonna feel like it’s really mine, you know? If I make every decision, if I do the work — thoughtfully, meticulously, painstakingly — that’s the way I wanna live.”

But Lauren won’t be the only person having to move, thoughtfully, meticulously, and painstakingly through the next phase of their life: in the end, she’s joined — much to her relief — by her sister, Vanessa, at a Narcotics Anonymous meeting.

Boobs on Your Tube: Kate and Lucy Go Public With Their Love on “NCIS: Hawai’i”

Hey we made it to Official Spooky Season! Way to go, queers! Starting next week, it’s gonna be so many monsters and vampires and Rockford Peaches costumes! But first — Kayla’s got another ALOTO Style Thief for you; this time, it’s butch icons Lupe and Jesss. Shelli rounded up a bunch of queers eating wings on Hot Ones. Riese got us caught up on all the latest Gen Q rumors and news. Heather reviewed the shockingly gay Reboot. And Drew had plenty of laughs about Billy Eichner’s new gay rom-com, Bros.

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Notes from the TV Team

+ We didn’t get to see much of Nova this week on Queen Sugar but we do get a return appearance from Brian Michael Smith as Ralph Angel’s childhood friend, Toine. A lot’s changed since we last saw him: he’s married, he’s left the police force, he’s co-directing an LGBT center and he’s a brand new daddy. An actual daddy not just a daddy daddy. It was very cute. — Natalie

+ Niecy Nash’s new show, The Rookie: Feds, premiered this week. In it, Nash plays Simone Clark, a high school guidance counselor who becomes the FBI’s oldest rookie…and while there wasn’t much time spent on her personal life, we know Simone’s bisexuality will be part of this show in the future. The show strains credulity at points but it’s salvaged by Nash’s unrelenting charm.

One unexpected moment from the debut? The introduction of another queer character. Elena, the tech support for Simone’s FBI team. I’m excited for Simone to have her own Baby Gay to mentor/corrupt. — Natalie

+ New/Returning shows over the next week: Queer for Fear (Shudder), The Equalizer (CBS), Station 19 (ABC) and Grey’s Anatomy (ABC) — Natalie

+ Not much to report from Big Sky episode 302: The Woods Are Lovely, Dark and Deep. I never watched Supernatural so I’m not necessarily a Jensen Ackles girlie but when Beau was sitting around chatting with Jenny and Cassie, I couldn’t help but recite one of my favorite TV mantras: When in doubt, throuple it out! — Valerie Anne

+ She-Hulk 107: The Retreat was a dating episode but alas we still don’t know who Nikki has been going on dates with. The vibe of the episode was very, “If you don’t like me at my Jen, you don’t deserve me at my She-Hulk,” and I’m starting to think no man is worthy of She-Hulk. — Valerie Anne

+ This week on Star Trek: Lower Decks, Beckett meets Jennifer’s friends and it goes exactly as well as you think it will. It’s perfect and hilarious and I am just loving these two together. — Heather

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NCIS: Hawai’i 202: “Blind Curves”

Written by Natalie

The last time Kate Whistler and Lucy Tara tried to make a relationship work, Kate didn’t want anyone to know. She’d never been the most expressive person anyway and, besides, she had her career to consider. But this is a different Kate — a Kate that’s truly in love — and all she wants to do now is tell the world about it, starting with her boss.

The admission catches Lucy completely off-guard but when Kate tells her there’s an FBI barbecue coming up that she wants to bring her along to, Lucy’s sold. There is one catch, though, Kate admits: she could be removed from her role as NCIS liaison if her boss feels like it could be a conflict of interest. Before they can talk more about it, Lucy’s called away on a case. She leaves Kate with a kiss and an assurance that she’s doing the right thing.

Or at least that’s what she tells Kate…because, inside, she’s freaking out a little. As she explains the situation to Jesse, Lucy begins to ponder all the what ifs — what if Kate can’t be the NCIS liaison, what if not working together drives them apart — but Jesse persuades her that they’ll adjust, whatever happens. He’s not surprised to hear that Kate’s worried too: even though she went “full Adele in front of [their] entire team but she wasn’t always that person.”

Later Kate stops by the NCIS office to drop off some information about a suspect and Jesse takes her presence as proof that her work with the team will continue. She acknowledges that her boss found no conflict — she just has fill out a form to disclose the relationship — but laments that her boss assumed the NCIS Special Agent she was dating was a man and she didn’t correct him. Jesse assures Kate that the bad assumption was her boss’ fault, not hers, and she shouldn’t worry about it. Apparently, Jesse’s making a play for Ernie’s spot as captain of the Kacy ship. I approve.

Before they head to the FBI barbecue, Kate explains what happened with her boss, including his expectation that Kate will be showing up with a man. Lucy’s surprised but she assures Kate that everything will be fine. Kate remains unconvinced. But it’s just her nerves talking — Kate’s never introduced a girlfriend to her co-workers before — and Lucy promises to be by her side throughout every awkward moment.

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9-1-1 602: “Crash & Learn”

Written by Natalie

On her first day at Station 118, Henrietta Wilson’s then-captain introduced her to the firefighters as a “diversity hire.” They hadn’t even bothered to take to the ping pong table out of the makeshift woman’s locker room but, if she lasted a week, they assured her they’d move it. Over time, Hen would prove that she belonged but when Bobby gives her a shot to temporarily sit in the Captain’s chair — the same chair from which her then-captain was ousted because of his abuse — Hen can’t pass it up.

But should she? Absolutely. With her regular shifts, medical school, and her family all demanding her attention, Hen should absolutely say no to a thing that promises her more work. But she doesn’t; instead, she assures Chimney that she’s got this: utilizing her insane time management skills, she can find a way to balance it all.

Hen leads the team on calls, she splits her downtime between filling out paperwork and studying her notecards. She sets reminders to alert her of when to focus on another subject. She eats and grabs sleep whenever and wherever she can. For a while, it seems like it works — maybe Henrietta Wilson really can have it all — but then it doesn’t. She struggles through her neurology exam and on the drive home afterwards, she falls asleep at the wheel. She narrowly avoids an accident and while that should spark a realization in Hen, she just keeps trudging forward.

At the next call, though, things start to fall apart, literally and figuratively. The collapse of a walkway at a Happiness convention (oh, the irony) forces the interim captain to redirect resources from a dying man to a young convention staffer with a greater chance of survival. The man’s death weighs heavily on Buck and Hen…and when he can’t figure out the dying man’s declaration, Buck turns to Hen for the answers. She always has the answers, he notes. But Hen doesn’t…not this time and not lately…including, unfortunately, on that neurology exam. Hen returns home and realizes that she forgot to pick up her son for his robotics meet. Karen was there to pick up the slack but for Hen, it’s just another thing she’s failed at. Finally, the dam breaks and Hen dissolves into tears in front of her wife.

After a nap, Hen tells Karen the truth: she can’t do this anymore. Her failed neurology final means she might have to repeat her second year in med school. She admits that these last few weeks have almost killed her. Karen assumes she’s being hyperbolic but when Hen explains about the near accident, she puts her foot down: Hen has to chose between being a doctor and being a firefighter.

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New Amsterdam 502: “Hook, Line, and Sinker”

Written by Natalie

A few minutes into this week’s episode of New Amsterdam, Lauren Bloom runs into Mark Walsh in the hall. Not today, he says. Casey’s out of town and he won’t take his place as Lauren’s gossip buddy. He urges her to talk to literally anyone else in the Emergency Department. But, of course, Lauren is undeterred and shares her gossip anyway.

“Speaking of our department, Leyla’s visa finally got approved which means — drumroll please — she’s finally moving out of my apartment and into her own place,” Lauren explains. She says it with zero affectation in her voice. No sadness, no anger, no emotion at all really…she just says it, as if it’s just an ordinary thing. And just like that, Leyla and Lauren’s relationship — both personal and professional, presumably — is over.

It’s not a surprise that it’s over: I concluded as much last week and New Amsterdam‘s showrunner, David Schulner, confirmed it in an interview with TV Line. He said, “We told their story for two seasons, and they changed each other in such profound ways.”

Profound? Really? What about the way that this show ended their relationship felt profound? You wouldn’t know, watching this episode, that Lauren and Leyla were once deeply in love. You wouldn’t know, watching this episode, that Leyla brought another woman into Lauren’s home. You wouldn’t know, watching this episode, that Leyla owes Lauren a substantial amount of money (ah, the old white savior trope). Lauren’s not given any space to have feelings about any of it; their relationship was treated like something that didn’t matter. It was not profound, it was cheapened.

And, in a great bit of television irony, Lauren’s journey to collect her things to move back into her Leyla-free apartment takes her to her sister’s apartment…a sister played by Kathryn Prescott AKA Emily Fitch AKA the Queen of queer storylines cheapened by showrunners who thought they were doing something profound. Maybe the actresses can commiserate together.

(Note: To be clear, I’m not objecting to the break-up. They should’ve broken up and I’ve said as much. I’m objecting to the how of it all.)

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Vampire Academy 106: “Molnija”

Written by Valerie Anne

In the wake of the training exercise gone wrong, the overall mood of the titular vampire academy is bleak, despite the fact that they’re getting ready for a Royal Tour which is basically another excuse for rich fancy vampires to show off how rich and fancy they are. As Mia gets ready to leave, Sonya encourages Mia to spend as much time with Meredith as she can before it’s too late. But then Meredith gets in trouble for unauthorized use of magic and can’t go on the tour at all. Instead she gets an archaic punishment and gets her hands branded. Yikes!

It’s probably for the best she didn’t go, because on the way back from one party, Lissa and Meredith’s caravan gets trapped in a tunnel by strigoi. The Royals have worked hard to paint these vamps as wild animals with no critical thinking skills and no pack mentality, but I think what we’ve learned here is that they can plan and cooperate and target their attacks, so they better stop underestimating them.

During the attack, Meredith gets slashed and Lissa tries to single-handedly save us from a Bury Your Gays trope but is pulled away before she can heal her. When Mia hears Meredith was hurt, she drops her magic lesson in a heartbeat to be by her side. And luckily, Meredith’s injuries weren’t life-threatening, so she can gaze softly into Mia’s eyes as she says any punishment is worth it if it means protecting Meredith.

And taking her sister’s advice, Mia wastes no more time and kisses Meredith, who happily kisses her back. It’s very sweet and cute and even though Mia wasn’t my favorite in the first few episodes, I’ve grown rather fond of this lost little wannabe princess and her knight in shining tactical gear.

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Monarch 103: “Show Them Who You Are, Baby”

Written by Heather

Hahahaha! Okay. Oh, man, okay. So. This week Gigi sees Nicky clomping around in a pair of Dottie’s old cowboy boots at, like, Tanya Tucker’s costume shop? I don’t know, it’s unclear where they are. Some kind of Country Queen warehouse where I guess Tanya and Reba and Dolly and Martina and Dottie keep their old clothes? Gigi demands that Nicky take those things right off her feet right this second, so she can take them home and flash back to the time she was clomping around in them as a child and Dottie demanded she take them off because YOU ARE NOTHING LIKE ME NOTHING LIKE ME, etc. Gigi punctuates the flashback by hurling the boots at the wall, where they shatter and reveal A THUMB DRIVE THAT WAS STASHED IN THE BOOT HEEL. (Too PLL to function.) She pops it into her laptop and uncovers a song about how Alibe cheated on Dottie, which Nicky simply cannot believe. Their marriage was perfect! Perfect! Gigi says that everyone besides her beloved wife cheats, so she’s not too surprised.

Nicky invites Kayla (said beloved wife) out to lunch to tell her she knows she’s sleeping with Luke. Kayla has absolutely zero chill about this. She keeps saying she loves Gigi, doesn’t want to hurt her, values their marriage above everything, please don’t tell, oh please. While she’s doing this pleading, she’s not: eating sushi, or: drinking sake. Nicky correctly surmises that her sister’s wife is pregnant with her brother’s baby and if you ever thought you’d live to see this day on a country music soap, no you did not. Nicky says she’ll handle it. I have no idea what that means, and honestly neither does she at this point, but Nicky’s clearly going to be following in her mama’s flame-throwing footsteps any day now.

Luckily Gigi remains blissfully unaware of her wife’s infidelity, which means she has the time and energy to make an absolute meal out of Lizzo’s “Juice” and Willie Nelson’s “Always On My Mind.” Beth Ditto remains 100% the best part of this show and my own personal (fictional) queen of country music. I especially loved this week how she said, with a straight face, “Well. Mama made you kill her.”

Boobs on Your Tube: NCIS: Hawai’i Delights in its Queer Honeymoon Phase

Hey did you see Dani’s shout out on Late Night With Seth Meyers this week? Very cool! And a perfect way to get back into the swing of FALL TEVEE! Also this week, Riese made an essential list called 42 TV Shows With Lesbian, Bisexual and Queer Characters Cancelled After One Season and updated us on the latest news from the set of The L Word: Generation Q. Kayla reviewed the very adorable new Aussie teen show Heartbreak High. And Sa’iyda reviewed Viola Davis’ The Woman King. 

Notes from the TV Team:

+ 9-1-1 returned this week and, already, Henrietta Wilson has a lot on her plate: a family, medical school and an intense job at Station 118. In fact, she’s so wrapped up in studying for her finals that she forgets about her lunch plans with Athena until her best friend shows up at her door with takeout. But despite the demands of her current rotation, when Bobby dangles the possibility of Hen becoming Interim Captain while he’s on his honeymoon, she jumps at the chance. She relishes having gone from the person no one expected to be a firefighter to someone who’s capable of being a captain. — Natalie

+ I was hard-pressed to imagine the second season of Reservation Dogs would match its freshman run — one of my favorite debuts in recent memory — but with each new episode, I wonder if its sophomore run might actually exceed it. Grappling with grief continues to be the show’s through line but this week’s episode, “Offering,” added so many layers to it: how grief can upend our lives and how our past can heal our present. It’s really, really beautiful and makes for one of my favorite episodes of television this year. — Natalie

+ Home Economics returned this week and the biggest news is that Denise and Sarah are still trying to have a baby (actress Caitlin McGee is currently pregnant, so I predict a third child for Denise and Sarah very soon) and arguing over the merits of public vs private school while the family takes a day vacation paid promo to Disneyland. Nothing groundbreaking, but it’s sweet and fun. Sometimes that’s enough. — Carmen

+ On Raising Kanan, Jukebox took a backseat so that we can learn more about Detective Burke and her ex-girlfriend, who’s about to once again become her current girlfriend. I appreciate that Raising Kanan has multiple lesbian regular characters, still a rarity in most TV but Detective Burke is irritating (in her defense, she’s supposed to be) so it’s hard to get excited for her. This week’s episode had what I’m pretty sure is the first lesbian sex scene in the Power Universe, which is something, but for a show that’s as famous for its sex as it is for its violence, it was surprisingly a complete snooze. — Carmen

+ New/Returning shows over the next week: Reasonable Doubt (Hulu), The Rookie: Feds (ABC) and Welcome to Flatch (FOX). — Natalie

+ Hello I’m here to report that I am officially ON the Big Sky beat. The cute baby gays from early S2 are gone, and trans woman Jerrie is currently on an off-screen mission, and somehow Jenny and Cassie are still not together, but Reba is here and even though Jensen Ackles and Luke Mitchell are threatening my newest crackship, I have my eyes peeled for queer activity. — Valerie Anne

+ For a brief second in this week’s episode of She-Hulk I thought Nikki and Mallory were going to date but then Mallory mentioned she’s been married for a long time so alas, not in the cards just yet. However, in this episode trans actress Patti Harrison played Jen’s old friend who asked her to be a bridesmaid and she was a delight. — Valerie Anne

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NCIS: Hawai’i 201: “Prisoners’ Dilemma”

Written by Natalie

Personally, things could not have started off more blissful for Kacy on NCIS: Hawai’i: Kate awakens to breakfast in bed from her thoughtful girlfriend. Lucy might’ve overdone it on breakfast — every thing is bigger in her native Texas, she reminds Kate, including breakfast — but the couple is the picture of domestic bliss. Professionally, however, is another story, as a terrorist from the mainland (Herman Maxwell) makes his way to Hawai’i and threatens to attack a global military training exercise (RIMPAC) being held on the island.

The couple get to work together: first, scouring the crowds at RIMPAC, looking for Maxwell’s sympathizers and then working with Ernie to find out more about the terrorist’s past. They provoke a new line of thought for Ernie and, as he hunts for answers online, he asks Lucy and Kate to talk…to give him some white noise to help him focus.

Because Ernie is the captain of the Kacy ship, the couple opts to share news of their relationship. The things that they’ve learned about each other are absolutely adorable and they both agree that their relationship is working. Thanks to all their “happy talk,” Ernie calms his brain enough to figure out a connection between Maxwell and a college professor visiting the island. The team pulls the professor in but he doesn’t recognize Maxwell’s picture.

Ernie asks Lucy and Kate for more white noise but this time, Kate refuses to “talk about how much [she] loves Lucy” in front of the professor. Lucy smiles at the inadvertent acknowledgement and it’s just enough white noise for Ernie to de-age Maxwell’s picture, sparking recognition in the professor. The team’s able to use the information from the professor to help bring down Maxwell and keep everyone on the island safe.

After work, the couple settle in at home, celebrate a job well done and lean fully into their honeymoon phase. It’s saccharine sweet and looks to continue next week.

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Queen Sugar 702: “Slowly And Always Irregularly”

Written by Natalie

Nova slinks back into her home, rousing Dominic from his nap on the couch. She’s been out all night — talking to Mo about the council meeting, supporting Miss Parthena following the eviction from her farm and then strategizing with Mo about what to do next — and she neglected to call her boyfriend and update him on the situation. What makes the situation particularly frustrating for Dominic is that Nova’s solution — hosting a ring shout at the farm — is right in his wheelhouse as a cultural anthropologist. In fact he’s taking a group of students on a “field trip” to the Sudan next week to learn more about the origins of the ring shout. Nova is impressed by Dominic’s display of nerdery.

To recruit a crowd for the ring shout, Nova reaches out to her ex-girlfriend, Chantal. She’s glad to help, of course, but wonders why she’s here and not Nova’s “new boo.” When Nova can’t offer a legitimate explanation, Chantal fills in the gap for her.

“You’re still doing that thing,” Chantal acknowledges. “That thing where you pull away the moment your love life is working and you turn to everyone but your partner because you’re scared of depending on them.”

Wounded by the righteousness of that read, Nova apologizes for Chantal having had to deal with her rough edges back then. She hopes that the ring shout is another way to make amends. Nova emphasizes that Dominic is amazing but admits there are parts of herself — the rawest parts of herself — that she doesn’t feel comfortable letting him see. Chantal encourages Nova to let Dominic in…to let him see her, warts and all. They clasp hands and, of course, Dominic catches them in that intimate moment.

Chantal and Dominic settle into an easy rapport (“he’s an upgrade from the white cop,” she snarks) but Dominic is clearly unnerved by the space she and Mo claim in Nova’s life…a space to which he doesn’t have access. Later, in bed, he admits his worry to Nova and she tries to reassure him. She promises that he’s the only one who gets all of her.

We’ll see how well that promise holds up while Dominic’s out of town.

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New Amsterdam 501: “TBD”

Written by Natalie

I am sympathetic to shows forced to contend with a central cast member’s abrupt departure. Writers have to turn on a dime and find a way to hasten that exit that honors the actor and the show’s narrative. It’s a difficult task that’s rarely done well (see: Callie and Alex’s exits on Grey’s Anatomy) but it’s no one’s fault, that’s just the nature of the business. But I have no such sympathy for the writers of New Amsterdam.

This show has known, since the end of its third season, that Freema Agyeman was not long for this world. They were gifted a fourth season with Agyeman and, instead of winding it down in a way that would usher Helen Sharpe off the canvas sensibly, they gave us this episode. An hour of gaslighting BS. Now, granted, I don’t usually concern myself with what the straights are doing but: 1. a lot of the queer women who watch New Amsterdam started watching for Freema Agyeman and 2. bad writing is like a fungus, it spreads.

And, sure enough, that fungus spread over nearly ever aspect of New Amsterdam‘s season premiere.

It’s been months since Lauren let go of her money, her apartment, and her relationship to ensure that Leyla could settle her visa issues and, in the interim, she’s been couch surfing. Why does a character we know is wealthy need to couch surf? Who knows, but it does give the show the opportunity for some misdirection with Floyd and Lauren. The pair wind up in bed together because Floyd’s couch triggers Lauren’s sciatica.

He pushes her to go back to her apartment — she lives in a two-bedroom, after all — but Lauren knows if she goes back while Leyla’s still there, they’ll just fall back into bed together. Better her bed than his, Floyd notes, before telling Lauren that she’s gotta go. When Floyd stands firm, Lauren scours the ED for another place to lay her head. Ultimately, though, she bites the bullet and heads back to her apartment.

Leyla opens the door — the show’s lone remaining South Asian character being sidelined in an episode that features a Bollywood storyline is an odd choice — and seems taken aback by the suggestion that Lauren move into the spare bedroom. But, of course, she agrees. First, though, Leyla has to tell her something. But before Leyla can get the words out, another woman slides up next to her and drapes her arm across Leyla’s shoulders. Lauren just stands there, smiling awkwardly, at this threshold of her own apartment, as this stranger (Bix, played by Jamie Abbott AKA Kate McKinnon’s better half) says, “oh, you must be Lauren.”

It almost doesn’t matter to me who the stranger is — if she’s Leyla’s new hook-up or just a friend — but to have her in Lauren’s apartment without having asked Lauren first? MESSY…and it’s messy in a way that Leyla’s character has never been. And, gosh, the optics of it all? It’s bad…so very bad. But it might not be an issue for long: it looks as though Shiva Kalaiselvan has been bumped from recurring to guest star for the season. If so, this is a miserable ending for a story that began with so much promise.

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Vampire Academy 105: “Near Guard, Far Guard”

Written by Valerie Anne

This week, the Guardians are sent on a training mission, and while they’re out in the field setting up, as good-natured ribbing is being shared on all fronts, Rose teases Meredith about her crush on Mia, which Meredith defends by saying Mia has a heart…if you dig around for it…and also she’s not going to apologize for her heart, okay? And speaking of Mia, when it becomes clear that the Guardian trainees are in more danger than they bargained for, the Moroi come to their aid. Which means all four members of my two current ships (Rose, Lissa, Meredith, and Mia) are all on site trying to give me a big gay panic attack.

Luckily the pairs are equally as worried about each other as I am about them so they all protect each other and it’s cute. Mia even goes so far as to use her magic to strangle one of the snobby bullies and might have ended up going too far if Meredith hadn’t been there to talk her down.

Also, I know Meredith and Mia are canon into each other and that’s where my full shipping heart should rest, but it’s hard when things happen like Lissa’s eyes going black from the darkness of tapping into her powers and then Rose’s going black, too because they’re so intrinsically linked. Besides, I can ship more than one couple on the same show. I contain multitudes!

Oh also, while all this was going on, Sophie single-handedly saved this show from burying a gay by healing her father of his fatal vampire disease, despite the toll it took on her.

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House of the Dragon, 105: “We Light The Way”

Written by, Shelli Nicole

Okay, so this episode had everyone in an actual tizzy. It’s wedding season and in this world of Westeros that has pretty much never ended well lol. Anyway, Rhaenyra and Ser Laenor Velaryon (who are cousins) are engaged. Rhaenyra doesn’t actually wanna get married but she has to and after going on a tour of dudes (and pre-teens) who wanna marry her, she settles on her cousin Laenor because he is the least terrible option. Here’s the thing tho — lol he’s gay — with a messy ass boyfriend at that. Pretty much everyone knows (his family thinks it’s a phase and that marriage will help, the rest of the kingdom turns a blind eye) including Rhaenyra.

She whole time doesn’t care because lol she is fucking her bodyguard (and lied to people about it including her new stepmother/old friend/maybe old crush Alicent). So on their walk by a dreary ass sea, she suggests they just help each other out. They will get married, fuck a few times to have a kid or 3 to make the kingdom happy, and keep up appearances and smiles. BUT behind closed doors they can actually fuck whoever they want, so he can keep his little boyfriend and she can keep banging bodyguards. He was like “oh shit forreal” and she was like “yeah, I literally don’t give a fuck lol” and they smile, laugh, and agree because they are cousins who actually dig each other and just have been dealt an odd hand.

Short lived happiness though because his boyfriend was messy as fuck at the wedding and decided to tell the bodyguard he knows his secret — and so the bodyguard beats his brains out. Like, actually beats his brains out in the middle of the engagement party and kills him. Rhaenyra is like “wait, what the actual fuck?” and Ser Laenor cries over his boo’s dead body all “omg baby WHYYYYYYY?!?” and because it all looks bad their parents rush the wedding and they get married like an hour later.

Time for TV math! We all know this world hates queers, Ser Laenor boyfriend (Ser Joffrey — yikes at the name), was introduced for the first time in the series in this episode at the 24 minute mark and then dies 34 minutes later. His total screen time (alive) that I added up was a bit under 3 minutes total. That’s including quick flashes of him and his messy looks, the 15 second conversation he has with his secret bf at the wedding, and his full introductory scene which was only about 1 minute and 16 seconds long. This death was unsurprising to me, as was his intro but it pissed off lots of folks who watch the show. It wasn’t unsurprising because I read the books or anything (I didn’t) just because I know this world has no intent to being kind to queers of any sort but yeah — that’s what happened this week in Gay Westeros Weekly.

P.S. no further actual dykin’ yet with Rhaenyra or Alicent but hey WHO KNOWS WHAT COULD HAPPEN we are only 5 episodes in!

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Monarch 102: “There Can Only Be One Queen”

Written by Heather

You know the end of the original Pretty Little Liars pilot when all the Liars huddle up around their beeping phones in their funeral dresses and read A’s first text out loud? “I’m still here, bitches, and I know everything!” You know that feeling you got when you watched that the first time? Like kinda spooked but also just absolutely delighted by how completely bonkers it was, and how committed the show was to being serious about it? Okay that’s the entire vibe of Monarch, a show that makes absolutely zero sense — yet! It is a glorious trashy delight. I honestly think it may also be the worst queer representation I’ve seen since like 2010. But! I don’t really expect it to last much longer than half a season, so I’m not sweating it too bad. We deserve pop culture trash too!

Anyway, this week is Dottie’s funeral. You think you know what’s coming, but you don’t. Because what’s coming is a hologram of Dottie, on stage, singing a duet of “Love Can Build a Bridge” with her sister, who hated her, and who had no idea that hologram was gonna pop up there next to her sister’s casket, holding a microphone with butterflies swirling around her head. The lead up to the funeral involves Gigi alternating between telling Nicky, “I can’t believe you murdered Mama!!!!” and “I hated Mama and you’re the only one in this family I can’t live without!” They also do a duet in the family’s piano/trophy shed, and Radar Online publishes an article that calls Gigi “The New Queen of Country Music.” She doesn’t want to take that title from her sister, but she wouldn’t mind taking it from her dead mom, whom she remembers, “Sent me to fat camp, and then gay camp, and then — one year, two-for-one — fat gay camp.”

And those are only the problems Gigi knows about. She has no idea her wife is cheating on her with her brother. (I told you it was terrible representation.) You know who does find out, though? Nicky. In fact, she spends a Gossip Girl amount of time stumbling over everyone’s secrets in this episode. Can’t wait to see what she does with them! I’m sure it will be as even more unhinged that what I’m imagining!

Beth Ditto, however, is a marvel on this show and I can’t wait to see where her acting career goes next.

Boobs on Your Tube: Grey’s Anatomy’s 400th Episode Is Classic Shondaland Gay

Ah friends, it has been a week. It’s so weird to talk about TV right now when there’s so much else going on in the world that’s more pressing and harrowing, but if you need a brain and heart break, here’s where to get it. We’re very glad you’re here.

This week, Heather wrote about Clare’s wee lesbian storyline on the final season of Derry Girls. Natalie led the whole team in a discussion about the latest season of The Circle. And Heather recapped Gentleman Jack.

Notes from the TV Team:

+ It’s a wrap for Lina Esco’s run as Chris Alonso on S.W.A.T., as the actress announced her departure from the series to pursue other creative opportunities. A few seasons ago, I would’ve been more disappointed by this news but it felt like the writers lost sight of what made Chris Alonso a standout among female characters in procedurals: she never needed a man to save her. Watching Chris be rescued or lectured by the men around her over these last few seasons grew tiring and I’m almost relieved by this exit. Here’s hoping for better (gayer!) things for the bisexual actress in the future! — Natalie

+ I don’t know if it’ll pay dividends at some point but the “bisexual chaos” energy flowing off Zhilan Zhang this season on Kung Fu has become too great for me to not acknowledge. It’s giving me Petra Solano vibes honestly…only, you know, with the occasional death and a lot more ass kickin’. I know you’re not supposed to cheer for the bad guy — Zhilan was season one’s “big bad” — but…#SorryNotSorry. — Natalie

+ I keep forgetting to tell yall the the Home Economics finale was excellent! Denise and Sarah won’t be having a baby, but Sasheer Zamata really deserves ALL the awards. Her timing? Impeccable. (Based on how she played Denise receiving the news, I’d be curious to see more dramatic work from her in the future!) — Carmen

+ Hi hello I cannot recap Legacies this week because I’m in New Orleans visiting Gay Aunt Freya but I’ll double up next week! — Valerie Anne

+ Mmm hmm, I sure have seen that episode of The Owl House and I’ve got a post coming your way about it tomorrow. — Heather

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Grey’s Anatomy 1819-1820: “Out for Blood” and “You are the Blood”

Written by Carmen

There’s a lot that happened in the two hour Grey’s Anatomy season finale (that also doubled as its 400th episode! At the end of ends, when all has ceased to exist, all that shall be left is Ellen Pompeo and the dirt from which we all came, Amen). My biggest question is DOES ANYONE STILL WORK AT GREY SLOAN MEMORIAL!?!?

Like what, is everyone still in contract negotiations with ABC? By my count we have plausible goodbyes and never see you again’s for: Bailey (she retired!!), Richard (going on sabbatical!), and Teddy and — if we are lucky, praise be! — Owen, who are… wait for it… running from the law!!! With first class tickets on a flight, not even coach! Yes, that feels plausible and good. It also looks like we said goodbye to Glasses and Hellmouth, who are going to be reclassified into other programs now that… drumroll.. the Grey Sloan Residency Program HAS BEEN SHUT DOWN.

When I said in the end there would only be Ellen Pompeo and the literal dust, I wasn’t joking after all.

(Side note to my side note, then we will move on to Amelia and Hot Doctor Kai, I promise — but why do they always have Hellmouth hint at being a lesbian but never not once in over four years give her a girlfriend!? I know that she’s mostly a supporting player to Glasses’ coming out, and last night only mentioned “what about gay women” as an aside during the Big Plot about the homophobic laws that deny sexually active gay men from giving blood. But it reminded me that my girl has really gotten no play! And it’s unfair! JUSTICE FOR HELLMOUTH!)

(Oh and there was an off-screen Carina DeLuca mention last night as well! And Leo is safe and happy, with still the best curls in child acting. OK just doing a headcount of everyone relevant to our interests! Now on to Amelia!)

Amelia is very heartbroken over her break up with Hot Doctor Kai, and if I was Amelia I would also be in mourning… because have you seen them??? Anyway, Hot Doctor Kai doesn’t want kids and Amelia has Scout, so those are the breaks. But it doesn’t stop her from moping around scene-to-scene, making sad puppy eyes to anyone who will look her way, for the entire first 118 minutes of last night’s episode.

But what happens at the 119th minute, you ask? WELL. As Amelia is leaving the hospital, fiddling for her keys in what was once known in our broader gay community as The Parking Lot of No Return (RIP Erica Hahn, you will always be famous)… just as the iconic Grey’s romance song “Chasing Cars” begins to play… guess who walks in like it’s 1997 and they are George Clooney.

HOT DOCTOR KAI.

Rain pouring around them, perfect McDreamy hair dissolved, they tell Amelia that they haven’t slept. They can’t sleep because they love Amelia so much and — and —

Perfect rainfall kiss, covered in the blanket of night, with Shondaland’s classic music swelling.

Damn when this show does it, they do it right.

And just like that, the curse of The Parking Lot of No Return was broken.

(Should Amelia and Kai be together when Amelia has a kid and Kai hates kids? No, they should not. But hey, that’s next year’s problem.)

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All American 421: “Champagne Glasses”

Written by Natalie

This week’s episode of All American picks up where last week’s left off: with Coop and her friends forced to the ground by a swarm of SWAT officers, who loom over everyone with machine guns. The police received an anonymous tip that someone at the party was threatening people with a knife. When an officer signals the all clear, Coop recognizes the sign and asserts their rights. The cops relent and Coop urges them to call their boss because she’s definitely going to call hers. Later, after the police clear out, the group recounts what happened — they were swatted, presumably by someone with a vendetta against Olivia — for the Bakers and Grace. Everyone’s grateful for Coop’s effort to intercede, it’s clear that she’s learned a lot in her time working with Laura.

At the suggest of Spencer and Coach Baker, the girls spend the night at the boys’ beach house and quickly fall back into a couple’s routine. They share breakfast together and Coop wonders aloud what they’re doing. Patience admits that she doesn’t know but, clearly, she’s happy with the way things are progressing. She links their hands together and Coop suggests that they go away for a couple of days to try and figure things out.

But before she can go, Coop has to admit the truth to Skye. She interrupts Skye’s fantasy about a future date and admits that she slept with Patience. Skye handles the news reasonably well — I definitely thought Coop’s smoothie was going to end up on her head — but is puzzled by why Coop would rather go back to something that she knows doesn’t work than figure out what’s going on between them. She acknowledges that Coop still loves Patience but questions whether she’s still in love with her. It’s not a question with an easy answer for Coop.

When she returns to the beach house after the Homecoming game, Patience is waiting for her with her bag packed but it’s clear from Coop’s posture that their trip is off. Coop admits that a lot of things are changing in her life and she wants to stay focused on the future. Even though it’s scary, Coop wants to look forward and she can’t do that with Patience.

“I’m sorry but I just…I don’t think that us falling back on what’s familiar is the right move for either of us,” Coop admits. And, honestly, it feels like that’s the smartest, most responsible thing that Coop has said in four seasons of this show. Will her resolve be as strong when Patience is dating other women? We’ll have to wait until next season to see.

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NCIS: Hawai’i 121: “Switchback”

Written by Natalie

Last week, Lucy’s NCIS tracked down two murderers, seemingly attempting to thwart a prisoner exchange with the Russians (#FreeBrittneyGriner), only to witness them getting blown up by an IED. Meanwhile, Jane joined a Joe Milius in negotiating a successful prisoner swap, only to have both prisoners end up dead. They connect all the murders to Alexi Babin, a former member of the Russian special forces, and the team suspects that he might already be on the island. Kate tries to marshal the FBI’s resources to get more information on Babin but her efforts prove fruitless. But when Ernie uncovers Babin’s financial records, Kate calls on a friend to help untangle the shell companies behind Babin’s finances.

While they wait, Ernie questions Kate about her relationship with Lucy. Kate explains that she and Lucy are friends now and acknowledges that Lucy’s moved on…with a girl named Skylar who Kate has clearly stalked on social media, like anyone still hung up on their ex would. Ernie pushes back: maybe Lucy’s moved on, maybe she hasn’t, but Skylar is definitely out of the picture. Kate’s perplexed by Ernie’s decision to share this information — apparently, not realizing that Kacy is clearly his OTP — and realizes that he thinks that she still has a chance. Ernie denies interfering in others’ relationships but notes that Kate pushed Lucy away and treated her life an afterthought. If she wants to win Lucy back, Ernie insists, Kate’s going to need to make a grand gesture.

Kate’s contact is able to untangle Babin’s financial records, connecting the charter plane that brought him to the island with a boat purchase that’s locally docked. The team goes to scoop up their suspect but they’re stopped by Alina Nikitin, a Russian FSB agent. In interrogation, Alina doesn’t offer much information but she assures Jesse and Lucy that she and Babin are not working together. Instead, she insists that Babin’s running a “false flag” operation to foment tensions between Russia and the United States. Later, as the team tries to figure out Babin’s next target, Whistler admits that whatever’s coming is big: the FSB wouldn’t have sent someone as talented as Alina into the danger zone otherwise. Kate’s a little too effusive about the Russian agent and Lucy’s jealousy flashes. Clearly, Kate’s not the only one still hung up on their ex.

Lucy’s team realizes that the backchannel talks — meant to calm the tensions between the two countries — are Babin’s next target. They rush to the scene of the meeting to stop Babin before he can set off a bomb. Meanwhile, Kate tries to figure out who’s bankrolling Babin’s terrorism campaign and goes to Alina to ask for help. The Russian FSB agent is dismissive, at first, but Kate keeps pushing for answers. Alina realizes that the answer is personal for Kate and assumes that she’s uncovered Whistler’s weakness. But caring for Lucy isn’t a weakness for Kate, it gives her strength…and she pushes Alina to realize how much they have in common. Alina relents and they realize that the true culprit is a member of the backchannel group.

The team gathers at Jane’s, with their respective families, to celebrate their success. Lucy’s alone but stares longingly at the door waiting for Kate to arrive. When Ernie confronts her about it, Lucy insists that she’s fine. Ernie begs Lucy to get out of her own way and stop denying herself what that she wants. But before she can say anything else, Kate interrupts with that grand gesture: with a crowd of people watching, she sings “Make You Feel My Love” to Lucy. Now, me, myself, personally…I find grand gestures of this sort positively mortifying…but I recognize what this meant for Kate Whistler. To have gone from the woman who wanted to hide their relationship in the beginning, worried about the impact that fraternization would have on her career, to professing her love for Lucy in front of everyone…that’s growth…and I do love to see it.

Kate admits that she can’t go another day without Lucy and she promises that she’ll do their relationship right this time. Lucy begs her to shut up and then silences her with a kiss…and everyone cheers the couple’s reunion.

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New Amsterdam 422: “I’ll Be Your Shelter”

Written by Natalie

Still caught up in the post-coital bliss, Lauren finds Leyla at work and delivers her a cup of coffee — made precisely the way she likes it — and the couple shares a kiss. It’s the episode’s most calm moment: afterwards, they learn that the trajectory of a hurricane has shifted and New York City is now in its path. The Emergency Department is about to be overrun and Lauren sets out to prepare, as best she can. She, unwittingly, goads Iggy into leading the hospital’s response to the storm and his first goal is to get everything that’s not nailed down out of the ED.

As her team scrambles to move patients, Drs. Bloom and Shinwari receive a patient who’s experiencing stomach pains. For a moment, it seems like the patient and her boyfriend are just a normal couple, dealing with the heartbreak of an ectopic pregnancy, but when Bloom spots a barcode tattooed on the patient’s neck, she realizes something more sinister is going on. Their patient, April, is a victim of sex trafficking. While April and her boyfriend move to higher ground, Bloom and Shinwari debate what to do next. Leyla pushes back on Lauren’s desire to rush to April’s rescue: what if she doesn’t want to be rescued? What if attempting to rescue April only makes her situation worse? Bloom insists that they have to do something and orders Dr. Shinwari to keep an eye on the patient.

Later, they try to pull April away to get a urine sample but her “boyfriend” clings to her side. Bloom assures him he can wait just outside the bathroom door and he relents enough to allow April to go. Inside the bathroom, there’s a note from the doctors, asking April to signal for help using a red marker. She emerges from the bathroom and hands Bloom the sample, labelled with red ink. Bloom tries to keep the couple there, insisting that surgery is the best treatment, but after hearing from a nurse that a pill could resolve April’s issue, the “boyfriend” gets suspicious and tries to escape with April.

Dr. Shinwari chases after him and offers the “boyfriend” the pills. She lists some potential side effects to look out for and he turns back to listen. While he isn’t looking, they switch out the wheelchairs — replacing his with another one with a brunette in it — and the police are there to intercept him. April is, understandably, shaken by her experience but Bloom ensures her that she’ll get the help she needs. Unfortunately, that help comes with a promise that she won’t contact any of her friends, for any reason, or she’ll risk being found. Freedom, Bloom notes, comes at a costs.

Once everything’s settled down, Leyla touts what a good team she and Lauren make and Bloom agrees. She tries to draw Lauren closer…a prelude to showing off their teamwork skills in other areas…but Lauren pushes her away. Earlier, when she handed Leyla the coffee, Lauren noticed worry flash across Leyla’s face. She insists that Leyla was wondering whether she’d have to pay her back for the coffee which, admittedly, feels like an improbable and stupid thing to initiate this conversation (however necessary it might be).

“You need money, and you need my apartment, and you need your immigration to go through…and you need all those things more than you need me,” Lauren explains.

Leyla tries to push back but she has no answer for when Lauren asks what happens when they fight or if Leyla wants to break up. The power imbalance between them is just too great. She offers Leyla her apartment but maintains that she can’t stay there with her. Leyla wonders where Lauren will go and she assures her that it’ll be someplace safe.

Before the season started, New Amsterdam‘s EP, David Schulner promised “more joy all around, more happiness, more love,” and, given that Season 4’s finale ended every relationship on the canvas, it’s safe to say that definitely did not happen (“never trust TV writers” – Jane “JR” Ramos). That said, while I’d quibble with some of the choices, once Lauren gave Leyla that money, this outcome felt inevitable. I hope that they’ll find their way back to each other next season — much will hinge on Shiva Kalaiselvan’s contract status, I’d imagine — but for now, I’m just hoping Lauren doesn’t agree to share an apartment with Iggy.

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Charmed 410: “Hashing it out”

Written by Valerie Anne

This week, we open in a silent movie style flashback of Roxy and Camellia, opening the bar, getting married, saying goodbye and helly in seven year cycles.It goes on like that for years, until one day when Roxy wakes up, she finds the bar destroyed, and no trace of Camellia except a bloody scarf.

And today when she wakes up, it’s not from a seven year slumber, but from seven minutes in heaven with…Mel?? Seems a little rude of them to have them hook up for the first time off-screen but fine. I even rewatched the end of last week’s episode and I’m PRETTY sure I didn’t miss it, but honestly timey is wimey on this show so maybe I did.

Anyway, as Mel gets up, Roxy blows her off and tells her it was a one-time thing and Mel pretends she’s cool with that and leaves. On the way out she sees Harry, who is there to help Roxy get closure with Camellia. But when he goes into the veil, he realizes that the blood on Camellia’s scarf is from a banshee. Harry eventually learns that Camellia isn’t dead. Duncan told Roxy that because it felt kinder than explaining to Roxy that Camellia was just too exhausted and sad and lonely living the way they did. He didn’t want Roxy to close down the bar, the only safe haven most demons have. The only safe haven he has.

While all this is happening, the Charmed Ones are attacked by the rebel group called The Unseen, which results in Dev dying to save Kaela, and Kaela killing Sunny in return. Taking away all four of her final lives, in fact.

Harry goes to find Roxy to tell her the bad news, but she heard. She’s sad, and she’ll have to grieve her wife in a whole new way now, but she’s not going to punish Duncan; he’s her family. Later, Mel goes to check on Roxy and Roxy thinks being with her is too hard to be worth it. Mel says that people say that about dating a Charmed One too, so maybe they’re a perfect match. And so, they make love in this club.

Next week, we’ll find out why the hot mom from one of my OTHER favorite witch shows, The Secret Circle, bonked Harry on the head in the Blockbuster in the sky.

Boobs on Your Tube: Hen and Karen Get Gay Married (Again!) on 9-1-1

Friends, we heard your pleas! Meg Jones Wall wrote a list of reasons every queer should be watching Our Flag Means Death! Carmen rounded up the best queer sketches from A Black Lady Sketch Show’s gayest season yet! Riese made you a little quiz so you can figure out which fictional high school you should have attended! Heather recapped the most recent episode of Gentleman Jack! Kayla had a little scream about this lesbian cruise episode of Hacks! And Heather had a yelp too, about Ser Anzoategui‘’s episode of Pinecone & Pony.

Notes from the TV Team:

+ I’ve got a write-up about Derry Girls’ final season and the wee lesbian storyline coming for you next week! — Heather

+ For the first two seasons of 9-1-1: Lone Star, Brianna Baker’s Nancy has been a background player. She was a paramedic but she didn’t have much of an identity, she was just there. But this season, Baker was upped to a series regular and we’ve gotten to see more of Nancy. Last week, she hooked up with one of the station’s firefighters, Mateo, and all I could think was, “wait, so she’s not a lesbian?” Apparently, somewhere along the line, I’d gotten it in my head that this character was definitely gay, even if the show hadn’t told us.

But while I was busy being perplexed, Carmen was actually paying attention and alerted me that Nancy was indeed a member of the alphabet mafia. In last week’s episode, Nancy slyly acknowledges her bisexuality (“I’ve been the tallest kid in my class since third grade and at least a head taller than pretty much anyone I’ve ever dated. Even if they’re in six-inch heels”). — Natalie

+ The gay is coming back to Top Chef: Houston as the Final Four — Evelyn, Buddha, Sarah and Damarr — head west to Tuscon, Arizona (one of only two US cities with the distinction of being a UNESCO City of Gastronomy) for their last set of challenges. There, the final four will visit with Top Chef: Portland‘s Maria Mazon and be judged by Kristen Kish. — Natalie

+ I’d be remiss if I didn’t acknowledge that The Young and the Restless played host to its first ever gay wedding this week, as Mariah and Tessa finally said “I do.”

It was a beautiful event that felt very rooted in the characters…and unlike most soap weddings, it went off without a hitch. It felt particularly poignant to hear Elizabeth Hendrickson — who once played one half of daytime’s first queer supercouple — note how historic the moment was. — Natalie

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9-1-1 518: “Starting Over”

Written by Natalie

For years, Henrietta Wilson and her mother had the kind of relationship that was okay as long as it was kept at a distance. But, when the pandemic left Toni unemployed and unhoused, her daughter was there to welcome her into her home. Slowly, but surely, they started to mend their relationship but time hasn’t healed all the wounds Toni once inflicted.

After Hen regales her family with a story about hair extensions gone disgustingly wrong (believe me when I tell you, you don’t want to know more), Toni changes the subject: she and her boyfriend, Clive, are engaged. Hen’s a little surprised by the news — she assumed her mother had given up on the institution of marriage — but Toni admits that seeing Hen’s successful marriage up close has convinced her that all marriages aren’t dumpster fires. Toni suggests holding the wedding ceremony in the backyard of Hen and Karen’s house. Hen is elated by the suggestion but Karen is morified: as much as she loves Toni, she cannot imagine allowing her to get married in the same spot where she and Hen were married…a wedding which Toni did not attend. Hen is stunned by Karen’s reaction: after all, she found a way to let it go.

“You didn’t see the look on your face. You met me at the altar and turned to see if she was there and there was an empty chair…I watched your heart break before we even said ‘I do.’ It wasn’t the happiest day of our life, Hen,” Karen reminds her. Toni overhears their conversation and apologizes for the heartbreak she caused. Karen feels guilty enough about it that she immediately changes her mind and throws herself into planning Toni and Clive’s nuptials.

When the wedding day rolls around, Chimney, Buck and Eddie all show up for the festivities. Hen’s surprised to see them but Buck assures her that they wouldn’t have missed this. Confused, Chim tells Hen to talk to her mom. When Toni shows up, she informs Karen and Hen that she’s not getting married today. Karen’s indignant — she did all this planning and has all this food — but Toni assures her there will be a wedding today, just not hers.

“Henrietta, let me say this: I’m sorry I didn’t come to your wedding,” Toni admits. “I had my reasons, my excuses — I didn’t understand, I wasn’t ready, I needed more time to catch up with the way the world was changing — but the truth is, honey, I was just wrong.”

Toni thanks Hen for forgiving her for what she did but acknowledges that they all lost something that day and, today, she wants to get that back. So, with her mother acting as the minister, her Station 118 family in the crowd and her son walking her down the aisle, Hen recommits to loving Karen for the rest of their lives. It’s a beautiful moment — especially with the Indigo Girls’ “Closer to Fine” soundtracking it — that feels a bit like a series finale…but 9-1-1 will be back in the fall for its sixth season.

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All American 420: “Murder Was the Case”

Written by Natalie

Since the shooting, Coop’s been flailing: struggling to find purpose in her life after having her dreams snatched away from her. She clings to the thing that reminds her most of her old self — Patience — and suffocates their relationship in the process. Losing Patience and the threat of jail finally forces Coop to reconsider where her life is going and commit to making some changes…and, suffice to say, those changes are not going unnoticed. 👀

(Sidenote: The title card of this week’s Halloween-themed episode of All American features a colony of bats, squawking, as they fly past the logo. Too soon, CW, too soon!)

Patience wakes up to find the smell of Coop’s breakfast still lingering in the kitchen. She’s surprised to see Coop up this early but Coop explains that Mrs. Baker has an early morning deposition that she wants to sit in on. Coop’s excitement about her new job is palpable and Patience notes that she hasn’t seen Coop like this in a long time. You can almost see Patience’s thirst start to re-emerge but Coop, unwittingly, quenches it with news that she’ll be attending JJ’s Halloween party at the Beach House, with Skye…in a couple’s costume, no less.

But when things between Asher and Spencer grow tense enough to make having the party at the Beach House untenable, JJ petitions for a change of venue, moving the party to the Baker house instead. Still adhering to their break-up rules, which maintain the Baker home as neutral territory, Coop disinvites Skye from the halloween party and is left to solve the murder mystery with Patience. They’re tasked with investigating JJ’s future murder while playing as their future selves. According to the mystery game, in ten years, Coop will be a judge and Patience will be an award winning singer turned actress. The prediction pushes Coop to imagine a future she never dreamed of before. Patience notes that Coop looks happy now and Coop admits that the new job has been good for her. Patience confesses that she likes the new version of Coop and her ex-girlfriend agrees.

After the party ends, Patience questions why Skye gets to be with this new version of Coop. She asks Coop why she’d change for Skye but not for her. Coop insists that she didn’t change for anyone but herself. She acknowledges that Patience was right — she didn’t have anything going on in her life then — but now she does. Again, Patience wonders aloud why she didn’t get this version of Coop and draws her closer, pulling her in for a kiss. They fall into bed together but, before things can get too far, the Baker house is stormed by the police.

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NCIS: Hawai’i 121: “Switchback”

Written by Natalie

When a Marine Corporal is murdered after trying to intervene in a domestic dispute, the NCIS team is called to investigate. Lucy arrives on scene, still exhausted from the night before, and Jesse assumes her date must have gone well. Lucy corrects him: she stayed home and was up late binging The Great British Bake Off. Frankly, it’s the most relatable the show has ever been. Once the team secures images of the Marine’s murderers — the domestic dispute was just a rouse — Kate joins them and shares what the FBI knows about the assailants. She explains that the FBI is monitoring travel in and out of the island and, later, they’re finally able to flag the wife, Anna Freeloff, at the airport. After a harrowing chase and fight, Lucy’s able to arrest Anna and bring her in for questioning.

The next day, Lucy crosses paths with Ernie and admits that she and Skylar seem to be going nowhere. She admits to flaking on their dates and concedes that maybe she’s not ready to date again after all. Ernie suggests an alternative theory: “maybe you just want to vibe with someone else? Someone taller, maybe? Blonder? Wears a badge?” Lucy shirks but Ernie reminds her that, sometimes, the heart just wants what it wants. But Ernie isn’t just staking his claim to be captain of the #Kacy ship (at least while Jane’s away), he also has news: Anna’s lovesick husband, David, is still somewhere inside the airport. The team’s able to take him in without incident. Though David is seemingly a pawn in the corporal’s murder, he refuses to give up any information about the plot in an effort to protect Anna.

Kate joins the team — just as Lucy’s flaking on another date with Skylar — and tries to figure out what they’ve gotten from the Freeloffs. She suggests they leverage the power of love to get David to talk…and, at the mere mention of the word, things grow tense at NCIS HQ. She invites Lucy to join her in the interrogation. Inside, they do that thing where they’re talking to David about his circumstances but also talking to each other about their relationship…and it is so angstfully delicious.

“David, we know you were in a tough spot. You don’t choose who you love or how they behave,” Lucy admits.

“And sometimes, people get in a tricky situation where one bad decision leads to a whole slew of them,” Kate adds.

David reveals the person who ordered the hit on the Marine and gets to reunite with his wife, temporarily, for his efforts. But their reunion turns out to be even more temporary than anyone expected, as a bomb strikes their vehicle, killing them both. I only hope this isn’t an ominous sign for Lucy and Kate’s future.

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New Amsterdam 421: “Castles Made of Sand”

Written by Natalie

Things in Lauren Bloom’s apartment are awkward: Leyla’s moved back in but the ease that they used to have is gone. They walk on eggshells around each other now…with Leyla afraid to ask for more than she already has and with Lauren afraid of overstepping the confines of their new friendship. But they’re both trying hard to make their new arrangement work, at home and at New Amsterdam.

Thanks to the shutdown of a nearby elder care facility, Lauren and Leyla come to work to find the Emergency Department being overrun by former residents. Lauren shifts in to crisis mode, transferring other patients to other areas of the hospital, but all her efforts barely makes a dent in the problem. One of the residents requests hot tea with lemon for her sore throat but Lauren opts to take a look in her mouth. The resident assumes that she has the same strep throat that’s been spreading throughout the elder care facility. But when Lauren looks around, noticing the intimacy between the patients from the elder care facility, she realizes the real issue: a gonorrhea outbreak.

Bloom diverts the ED’s traffic to other trauma centers and works with Drs. Shinwari and Walsh to try and get the outbreak under control. Most of the patients are more than willing to talk about their sex lives and their refusal to use condoms, but a few are angered by the doctors’ audacity. Leyla’s mortified by the task — “In Pakistan, we don’t ask elders such things.” — but Lauren notes that it’s the silence that’s causing the problem. One patient, Ms. Forsheim, who lied about her sexual activity, becomes unresponsive due to an abscess blocking her airway. Lauren immediately moves to drain the abscess and restores the patient’s breathing back to normal.

Later, Bloom approaches Ms. Forsheim again and tries to have a conversation about her sexual activity. The patient acknowledges needing the gonorrhea treatment but, otherwise, refuses to talk about her sex life. Still carrying the scars of having come of age in an era where women were scandalized for having sex out of wedlock, Ms. Forsheim admits she’d rather give up sex than talk to a stranger about it. Lauren manages to subvert Ms. Forsheim’s weariness by answering anonymous questions from the elder care patients. They ask about sex after a hip replacement, condom usage and lube. Lauren manages to put all the residents at ease. Eventually, even Ms. Forsheim raises her hand to ask a question, “What do you say if…if you like foreplay best?”

“I would say,” Lauren answers, pausing for a beat before dropping the punchline: “get in line behind Dr. Shinwari.”

Leyla’s mortified for a moment but then completely charmed by Lauren’s humor. When they arrive back at the apartment, the pair share a laugh about their day. The awkwardness between them is gone and the heat ratchets back up. Leyla chides Lauren for calling her out. Lauren admits that she got carried away but insists that what she said is true. Not always, Leyla assures Lauren, as she steps toward her. Recognizing where this could go, Lauren steps back and acknowledges that it’s a bad idea. Leyla agrees and steps toward her again. Lauren protests again and Leyla agrees but neither want to walk away from this moment. They seemingly fall back into bed with one another.

I’m should be heartened by this ending, I suppose — they’re back together, after all — but it feels too impulsive, too soon. This feels like a rebound, not a reconcilliation. Leyla and Lauren skated past all their issues and now I’m worried that the grounded beneath them will soon give way. As Jimi sang, “castles made of sand, fall in the sea eventually.”

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A Million Little Things 420: “Just In Case”

Written by Natalie

A Million Little Things always ends its seasons with a cliffhanger. At the end of the first season, as his daughter’s being born at a hospital across town, Eddie steps up to finally reveal that he’s the father of Delilah’s baby. At the end of the second, Eddie salvaged his sobriety only to be struck by a car and left paralyzed. At the end of the third, Gary put a bag over the head of music teacher who abused Sophie. I mention that to say: this is AMLT‘s season finale so I spent the entire hour waiting for the rug to get pulled out from under me…worried that the celebratory moments we’d witness would lead somewhere bad for Maddox or Katherine or Greta.

Rome shows up to school at Sussex Prep with his resignation letter in hand but the Dean of Students refuses to accept it. In his view, Rome was just protecting a child who couldn’t protect themselves and that’s exactly why he hired Rome in the first place. Plus, he notes, Maddox’s parents have decided to pull him out of Sussex Prep so the school will likely lose their donations anyway. Rome goes to the Ainsworths’ to resolve the situation but his arrival only brings more blame. Clark Ainsworth accuses Rome of manipulating his child — who’s run away after hearing her parents’ plan — but Rome insists that all he’s even wanted to do is to support his students in a way that he hadn’t been.

“My classroom didn’t make Maddox trans,” Rome acknowledges. “If anything, it was the first place he felt safe enough to be who he really is, and this morning, you and your wife decided to take that away from him.”

Clark laments losing the child he thought he knew but Rome reminds him that Maddox is the same child that he raised. The conversation sparks an epiphany and Clark knows exactly where Maddox is. They find him, nestled in a spot he and Clark used to go to together. Clark invites Rome to be an intermediary in their conversation but, when Clark finally uses the correct pronouns to talk about his son, Rome is convinced Clark can handle it on his own.

Meanwhile, Katherine’s still hurting over her break-up with Greta and her son — who, apparently, has been friend-zoned by Shanice’s daughter — recognizes that she’s gotten her heart broken. Even Katherine’s mother — who we last saw scurrying away at the sight of Katherine kissing Greta — can’t ignore her daughter’s sadness and heads to the tattoo parlor to intercede on Katherine’s behalf. Frustratingly, the conversation takes place entirely off screen but whatever they said to Greta worked. She returns to the Kim house and reunites with Katherine.

And so, the season concludes, with Katherine, Greta, Theo, Eddie and Katherine’s mom enjoying a family dinner together…with Katherine oblivious to the fact that Eddie’s girlfriend has been arrested for her involvement in her husband’s death. Also? Despite assurances to the contrary, their best friend, Gary, is fighting cancer once again.

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Charmed 409: “Truth or Cares”

Written by Valerie Anne

This week, Mel gets trapped in a magical snow globe with the bad bartender, Sunny. While they’re in there, they get to talking, and Mel learns that the magical creatures are sick of the Charmed Ones’ witch supremacy. Sunny tells a story about the time she was run off the road just for being a magical creature, and how it seems the Charmed Ones didn’t care. Instead she sees the news about witches saving witches and killing demons like they’re a monolith, because witches see all non-witches as evil until proven good. And Sunny is tired of it.

As they snuggle for warmth, Mel says she wants to work with her and other magical creatures to change this. Her and her sisters are doing the best they can with the powers they were bequeathed with little to no guidance on how to use them, and she’s willing to work with the magical creatures to make sure they’re helping the whole magical community, not just witches.

Sunny seems hopeful that this could work, but after Mel saves her life and she immediately finds herself confronted with Kaela waving a weapon at her, she knows it won’t be as easy as one idealist’s plans for change and she gets spooked. Mel has the chance to kill her but she’s not as ready to give up on this vision for a better future, so she lets Sunny go.

Later, when Mel and Kaela are joined by Maggie after she finishes defeating an evil stuffed elephant, Mel explains why she let Sunny go and they find themselves questioning the morality of something that was once the Charmed Ones’ soul purpose: vanquishing demons.

As Mel and Kaela hand Maggie a mug, Maggie recognizes the name of the company and the trio finally learns how Kaela is actually connected to them all: Macy had donated her stem cells to a cancer treatment Kaela received. They’re chosen family, but also they’re a little bit more.

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Grey’s Anatomy 1918: “Stronger Than Hate”

Written by Carmen

So this is actually a fairly short catch up on Grey’s, if only because the queer storyline could be summed up in one sentence and also — if we’re honest here — was already covered when Amelia went to visit Hot Doctor Kai in Minneapolis a few weeks ago to have Hot Doctor Sex.

Hot Doctor Kai (sorry to keep saying it, but they were particularly hot this episode in that Henley shirt and I am only human) — they don’t want kids. Amelia, of course has Scout and also is a helping to raise Meredith’s whole little league team. So they are breaking up.

In slightly more detail, the episode opens with really hot post-sex cuddles, because of course. Then there is a party at Meredith’s because we’re introducing everyone to Scott Speedman (I should learn his character’s name) and Kai is also in attendance, which means they get a front row view to the whole wrassle of kids and the entire time they act like it’s ok but their eyes are definitely frantically saying “Get Me Out of Here.”

Later that night, after Ameila has put a fussy Scout down to sleep, Amelia and Kai sit together on the swings in Meredith’s backyard. It’s sad, if only because you see it coming, and they break up. Kai doesn’t want to lead Ameila on when they are so certain about his. They don’t want kids, that won’t change. I will mourn Hot Doctor Kai forever. That also won’t change.

I’m here to recap the gay parts because that is my job, but that’s absolutely, bar none, not what is most important about the episode. The case-of-the-week is an Asian grandmother who was violently accosted in a hate crime at a bus stop, mirroring the unforgivable wave of such violence happening in real life. It’s beautifully, heart-wrenchingly performed by all of the Asian cast members of Grey’s as they work together to save her life. I’m not sure who pitched the storyline to the writer’s room, but I was so humbled and grateful to see it. And that’s the reason you should be watching.

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Station 19 518: “Crawl Out Through the Fallout”

Written by Carmen

On Station 19 this week it’s time for Carina’s green card interview — which she is supremely nervous about (she’s in a suit with a vest and tie that’s giving all kinds of Italian custom tailor, but she’s still out-gayed by Maya in that half-zip pullover. Danielle Savre’s strong energy knows no bounds).

In the interview room, the agent asks how the couple met, and Maya keeps butting in with answers, to which the agent has to remind her over and over again that it’s not for her to speak. As we all know, listening to men telling her what to do is not something Maya does well. At all. To make matters worse, Carina goes on to recount their first meeting (at Joe’s Bar! Were we ever so young!)… with… um, we can say, “Dr. Orgasm style flourish” which only makes Maya embarrassed and agitated.

The interview goes on like this for a while, with the agent finally asking Maya about her demotion from Captain to Lieutenant at the firehouse. Maya says officially it was because of insubordination but unofficially it was sexism and homophobia (friends, she’s not wrong). Carina wants Maya to be quiet, a smaller version of herself for the important occasion, but Maya is wound tighter and tighter — a top ready to blow (pun not intended).

The agent starts asking standard protocol questions, like “Do you plan to commit a terrorist attack?” Or “Do you engage in sex trafficking?” And Maya loses it — those are dumbass questions, because of course even if someone was planning on doing those things, they would lie about it! Carina’s temper flairs, telling Maya to stop laughing, it’s a serious matter. But their back-and-forth bickering works! The agent points out that this is an obviously married couple.

The plot twist? This was Carina’s plan all along, to fire Maya up and let her go.

Well, Maya’s not done with her fire just yet. At the end of the episode, thinking back to her untimely demotion, she catches Sullivan and the new Fire Chief alone. She knows they are dating, and unless she’s reinstated as Captain, she’s going to blow their cover.

Now usually I’m no fan of blackmail. And we all know I haven’t particularly been a fan of Station 19 or the Marina plots this season, but this really worked for me as a season finale cliffhanger. Last year, Maya lost her job because of unfair circumstances. And it’s thrown her for a loop! But when she jutted out her chin and held her ground shoulder-to-shoulder with the Fire Chief as she walks out the door, nearly body checking her — I whooped! For better or for worse, our girl is back. And damnit how I’ve missed her.

(OK but wait, speaking of season finale things — didn’t they say Carina was going to take a pregnancy test? Did we see the results, or did I black out and miss it? Who’s gonna tell me?)

Boobs On Your Tube: We Prepare to Say Goodbye to Naomi and Charmed After the CW’s Red Wedding

Hello and welcome to the weekend! Did you survive the CW’s red wedding of cancellations yesterday? We did, but only just barely! But in happier television news, Heather promises that Girls 5Eva is both sillier and gayer in Season Two. Valerie says that the girls of The Wilds prove that we don’t need the new addition of boys! Kayla reminded us all about the first season of Hacks and then came back with the toxic work wives ready to go in for a second season of chaos. Carmen called the trailer drop for Netflix’s First Kill “like Buffy had a baby with the good seasons of PLL” so you know we’re there! Gentleman Jack took its lesbian drama onto the magic railroad. And speaking of Gentleman Jack, did you see the Autostraddle crew look great in our fancy clothes at the special premiere dinner that HBO invited us to attend?

And for all our horror gays, in honor of today’s auspicious holiday Kayla wrote you The 13 Gayest Things About the Supposedly Straight Horror Movie “Friday the 13th”!

Notes from the TV Team: 

+ There wasn’t a lot for Carina and Marina this week on Station 19, but there was a really moving storyline involving a trans teen during one of the crisis team plots, which leads to Theo talking about his best friend from high school and the violence he faced from his family. The only reason I didn’t write a full recap is because due to a few unexpected emergencies, I’m the only editor in office today (and we’re short on time) but if you’re a Station 19 fan, it’s worth the watch! — Carmen

+ On Grey’s Anatomy, Teddy and Owen started therapy. And Teddy seemingly has gone from being the token transphobic parent to the “I AM READY TO GET THIS RIGHT” over-ally parent — quite a turnaround for a single episode, but sure. Leo still is happy being a girl, but doesn’t want to change his pronouns at this moment, and is honestly mostly passionate about having string cheese snacks, because he is four. Amelia and Teddy have a little sidebar about this (Yes! I want more of the Grey’s Anatomy bisexuals club please!) and Amelia lets us know that she’s seemingly still dating Hot Doctor Kai (exciting info!) and that dating them has helped Ameila chill about labels and definitions, that’s not what makes someone worthy of love. Teddy takes the advice, and also gets Leo some ice cream.  — Carmen

+ Chris Alonso’s been adrift on S.W.A.T. since the loss of her friend/roommate, Erika, but since discovering a local safe house for undocumented women, she’s found new purpose. But this week, that purpose is threatened when the safe house’s owner/manager, Mama Pina, reveals that she has stage four cancer. Chris scrambles to find housing for all the undocumented women but, ultimately decides a change of course — for her — is the best solution. She gives Hondo her two-week notice: she’s leaving S.W.A.T. to take over running the safe house.

Because Street has never been able to read the room, he makes Chris’ departure from the team about him. He urges her to take advantage of them not being on the same team to finally giving a relationship a chance. Chris resists and Street finally decides to stop trying to make them happen. — Natalie

+ On All American, the next stage of Coop’s pre-trial diversion program requires her to get a real job but she finds the application process frustrating. When she reaches out to Mrs. Baker for help, she inadvertently finds her niche: she’ll assist the former ADA in setting up her law practice. It’s a perfect fit, really, given Laura’s growing client base in Crenshaw and Coop’s knowledge of the neighborhood. But in order to secure her new gig, Coop will also have to enroll in college…and I’m anxious to see how Coop’s come-up changes the way people (read: Patience) sees her. — Natalie

+ Legacies wasn’t new this week but I wanted to express my SADNESS that it was cancelled, effectively ending the 13-year run of the…well, legacy of The Vampire Diaries. There were so many more stories to tell with those queer supernatural teens. :( — Valerie Anne

+ I agree with Nic — Carmen

So that's…All American, All American: Homecoming, The Flash, Kung Fu, Nancy Drew, Riverdale, S&L, Walker, Walker: Independence, The Winchesters, Gotham Knights.

By my count that’s 8 male-fronted shows…with All American(s) and Kung Fu as diversity plays? Okay, CW. We see you.

— Nic 🍉 (@njnic23) May 12, 2022

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Naomi 112-113: “Ready or Not” and “Who Am I?”

Written by Natalie

For most of Naomi‘s inaugural season, Naomi McDuffie’s parents confound. On the one hand, they are these idyllic, loving parents but, on the other, they lie to Naomi repeatedly. Even when they realize the scope of the threat against their daughter, even when the lies put Naomi in greater danger, they just keep lying. They kept repeating — to Naomi, to Dee, to whomever — that they were just trying to keep their daughter safe but the words rang hollow opposite the stories that showed that Naomi definitely wasn’t safe. It just didn’t make sense…and while it wasn’t the show’s lone storytelling flaw, it felt like the most egregious. But, in the final moments of the show’s first season, Naomi offers an explanation for why the McDuffies have been behaving the way they have.

“You took me from my birth parents,” Naomi realizes. “They were trying to save me. You shot them, you left them for dead.”

It shouldn’t have taken 13 episodes to get to this revelation — and disjointed compendium of lies that preceded it isn’t the gradual build-up to a heel turn that the writers’ think it was — but it felt like a milestone….a point at which Naomi could finally realize its potential. They’d finally found their sea legs and now the show could truly capitalize off the talent and charisma of their lead, Kaci Walfall, and sail. Maybe we’d even see Naomi finally meet her hero, Superman, via a crossover event with Superman & Lois. But, of course, that’s not going to happen: on Thursday, Naomi was one of six shows axed by the CW. It is the first show in the DC Universe to be cancelled after just one season.

(Oh, Akira, I’ll miss you most of all.)

They’ll make excuses for Naomi‘s cancellation — just as they have with the others — but the truth is, they never really gave it a chance to be great. As the CW does so often, particularly with properties fronted by women and/or people of color, publicity was rare and extended breaks between new episodes were frequent. It is becoming increasingly difficult not to acknowledge the pattern. It’s hard to look at what the CW’s kept and what it’s cancelled and not think that the days of daring to defy are truly over. It’s hard to look at what’s been cancelled and what’s been called up and not feel like the CW’s chose their audience…and we are, most definitely, not it.

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Charmed 408: “Unveiled”

Written by Valerie Anne

I’m SO sad this show got canceled just as it was finally on the upswing again, but alas, they did not survive the CW Massacre. But we still have a handful of episodes left so let’s enjoy them while we can!

This week, Ruby is being stalked by her evil ex-step father, a demon appropriately named Earl. Since her girlfriend is out of town, she enlists her favorite Charmed One for help instead. Which is appropriate because the only reason he was able to find Mel is because of the dark (magic) web ranting about the Charmed Ones and doxxing everyone associated with them.

While Mel and Ruby make voodoo-esque dolls of protection, Maggie and Kaela go to visit Kaela’s birth parents, who they learn, through a series of sticky, unfortunate events they learn that they are just regular humans and not witches at all. So they don’t solve the mystery of why Kaela is a Charmed One, but Kaela does get to know her sweet, human bio parents, and I’m happy for her.

After Mel and Ruby finish the protection dolls, Earl finds them, so Mel matchbooks them to the bar, where they recruit Roxy’s help. Since Earl can clone himself, they decide to use something called a Nightingale Potion to borrow Ruby’s voice. The only catch is, they both have to kiss her to get it. Ruby consents and immediately Roxy grabs her chin and kisses her and compliments her on said kiss…and I already loved Roxy but if I had been on the fence this would have sent me flying off. Whew.

The trio of badass witches manages to take down the demon and thankfully says the line I was waiting for, “Goodbye Earl.” As Ruby and Mel agree once more to just be friends, Ruby basically tells Mel she ships her and Roxy, and Mel didn’t think Roxy was into her, but Ruby disagrees. And so together we all shove our little ship off the shore. Let’s go out with a bang!

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9-1-1 517: “Hero Complex”

Written by Natalie

Still harboring her suspicions about Jonah, Hen goes to Claudette’s funeral to get more information about her medical history. She sneaks into the family bathroom during the post-funeral reception and finds Claudette’s blood pressure medication. She takes what she’s found to Chimney who admits that an elevated heart rate and smoke inhalation could’ve lead to her cardiac event. But, Chimney notes Claudette didn’t have an elevated heart rate following her rescue so he starts to consider that his partner might be onto something.

The pair sneak into Bobby’s office at the firehouse to get a look at Jonah’s write-ups for two cases that both ended with cardiac events. The only thing out of the ordinary in Jonah’s reports are his use of overly flowery language, detailing his “valiant” efforts to save lives. Meanwhile, Chimney breaks into Bobby’s computer and discovers that Jonah’s only been with the LAFD for 14 months, after stints in Chicago, Miami, Dallas and Denver. The two nearly get caught making their escape and Hen starts to second guess their efforts. Chim reminds her that they have an obligation to the people who need help…the ensure that the person who shows up, in their moment of need, will work to save them. After talking to Jonah’s other LAFD paramedic partners, Hen heads home, thinking she and Chim have hit a dead end. But Karen recognizes Jonah’s pattern for what it is and pushes Hen to look back at his suspicious track record because “nobody starts with murder.”

Karen’s words spurn Hen to action. She researches Jonah’s history and finds his origin story. As a kid, Jonah Greenway was riding to school when his bus driver had a heart attack, mid-route. When the bus finally crash to a half, most of the kids escaped out the emergency exit door but Jonah made his way to the driver and did chest compressions until the ambulance arrived. The quick thinking saved the driver’s life and earned Jonah massive adulation: TV interviews, a key to the city and a scholarship. After she relays what she’s learned to Chimney, Hen posits that Jonah’s trying to recreate the experience he had as a kid, over and over again.

Hen and Chim rush over to Buck’s place to talk to his news reporter girlfriend who was at the scene the day of the call center fire. They review her footage and find a shot of Jonah injecting something into Claudette’s IV…something that wasn’t necessary and something he didn’t log in his report. With some tangible evidence, Hen and Chim finally feel confident enough in their theory to take it to Bobby. Chimney pushes for a rush on Claudette’s toxicology report to confirm that Jonah injected her with something he shouldn’t have. Bobby shares Hen and Chim’s theory with the LAFD Chief who, immediately opens an investigation into Claudette’s death and re-assigns Jonah to light duty.

When word reaches Jonah, he immediately figures out that Hen’s responsible for his reassignment. He calls her and threatens to show her what she’s capable of. Frightened and fearing Jonah will target her family, Hen calls Karen and tells her to take their son over to Bobby and Athena’s immediately. But Karen reminds Hen that it’s not her that Jonah’s jealous of, it’s Chimney, so Hen rushes over to check on her partner. When she arrives, the door’s open and Hen calls out for Chimney. She gets no answer so she pulls out her phone, only to have Jonah sneak up behind her and inject her with something.

She awakens to find herself tied up, forced to watch as Jonah stops Chimney’s heart and then shocks it back to life. Once she notices Chim slip out of his restraints, Hen distracts Jonah long enough for Chim to plot their escape. Chim uses the defibrillator to knock Jonah out and, as he crawls over to Hen, the police arrive. Jonah’s arrested and the partners are set to the hospital for overnight treatment. Later, Hen stops by Chimney’s room and thanks him for believing her even when she didn’t have the evidence to back up her theory. She calls him the best friend that she’s ever hand and admits that she can’t imagine what she’d do without him in her life. Thankfully, Chim points out, she won’t have to.

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New Amsterdam 419-420: “Truth Be Told” and “Rise”

Written by Natalie

Can I be honest? These episodes are not New Amsterdam‘s best… in fact, “Truth Be Told” might be the worst episode of the show to date. Freema Agyeman’s Helen recovers from her post-stroke aphasia entirely off screen (using disability as a plot point is a choice!). The effort to remove Veronica from her perch as New Amsterdam’s medical director — a story which has lagged for far too long — is thwarted again…and, in prolonging it, the show makes Veronica look like an impulsive idiot and Max look more interested in vengeance than a win. And then, there’s Lauren Bloom who, after scolding Casey for interrupting a conversation with her young patient, starts to wonder if she’s a bully.

By the end of the episode, Casey assures Lauren that she’s not a bully. He admits that Lauren can be “bossy, super impatient, moody [and] temperamental” but insists she’s not a bully. He notes, “bullies go out of their way to hurt people. They prey on the vulnerable. You lift people up.” Of course, Casey’s right: Lauren Bloom is not a bully…and to devote time contemplating that, as if it’s a serious possibility, feels like a tremendous waste. That feeling is compounded by “Rise,” the week’s second New Amsterdam episode, which makes clear that Bloom is the furthest thing from a bully…even to her detriment.

An impulsive purchase of the medical clinic puts Lauren, Casey and Max back under Veronica’s thumb. I guess whatever money issues pushed Veronica to fire many of these same people earlier this season have resolved themselves. Lauren and Casey are sent back to the Emergency Department but with one notable change: Mark Walsh is now in charge. Everyone, especially Walsh, expects the decision to draw Lauren’s ire but she’s perfectly content with the new arrangement. Walsh keeps waiting for the blowback to happen — afterall, he assigned Lauren the color tan on his white board — but it never comes. Bloom is kind, respectful and supportive and Walsh finds it all very jarring.

“What you can do is drop the long con, cause I’m not buying it,” an exasperated Walsh tells her. “Enough with this respectful and nice garbage. Where’s the real Bloom, huh? Did you kill her? Did you kill her?”

Lauren confesses that she’s been doing cupping and acupuncture sessions with Dr. Castries and it seems to be helping. She assures him that she’s okay with him being the boss and that not having to shoulder that burden is a relief. But, quickly, that burden becomes too much for Walsh to carry. Torn between protocol and saving a patient, he realizes that he’s not ready to make those calls and offers the keys back to Dr. Bloom. And even though it’s a burden, and even though she’s the healthiest she’s ever been without it, Lauren takes the weight off Walsh’s shoulders and reclaims her role as the head of the ED.

It’s not the only time in the episode when Lauren sacrifices herself for someone else. Leyla delivers Lauren her latest installment and admits that she won’t need to borrow any more money. Her case isn’t winnable, Leyla laments, because her housing situation remains unstable. Without hesitation, Lauren invites Leyla to use her address but Leyla explains that it’s more than just having a place to pick up her mail. Her immigration case worker would have to visit and conduct interviews. Again, Lauren doesn’t hesitate: she invites Leyla to move back in. Leyla’s weary — she knows she’s a trigger and she doesn’t want to threaten Lauren’s sobriety — but Lauren insists that she can do this. I only wish I believed her.

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A Million Little Things 419: “Out of Hiding”

Written by Natalie

You know that distracted boyfriend meme? The guy’s walking down the street with his girlfriend when another girl catches his eye. He’s so caught up in checking out this other girl that he doesn’t even notice his girlfriend looking on, disapprovingly. I was convinced that this episode of A Million Little Things was going to be the personification of that meme…and while I wasn’t entirely wrong, it didn’t exactly work out the way I thought/hoped/prayed it would.

Word that Shanice Williamson has come out of the closet is spreading and Greta rushes in to update Katherine when she finds out. Katherine admits that she’s known but that she didn’t tell Greta because she didn’t feel it was her place to out Shanice. Greta understands that — she would’ve told a lot of people, had she known — but she’s a little less understanding when she finds out that Katherine and Shanice once kissed. Knowing about the kiss puts Katherine’s trip to New York in a new context and Greta’s dismayed that Katherine neglected to tell her she was “spending the weekend away with someone [she] had a history with.”

Katherine apologizes for not telling Greta and, honestly, the conversation should’ve ended there. No one’s interests are served by hearing what happened in New York but, apparently, Katherine Kim is the most honorable lawyer on the planet and she pushes forward and spills all the tea. She tells Greta about the bracelet, about the loaded invitation from Shanice to spend the night and that Shanice found out she had a girlfriend after their phone call. Greta pieces it together and realizes that Katherine spent nine hours with Shanice and didn’t bother to bring her up. Katherine notes the hypocrisy — Greta didn’t tell Katherine she was married when they first hooked up — but, really, that just underscores Katherine’s dubious intentions. Greta realizes that she and Katherine may have jumped too quickly into this relationship. Katherine was just out of her marriage and freshly out of the closet and she was in the middle of a divorce. She suggests that the pair take some time and space to figure out what’s best for them, individually.

Katherine tries to reach out, repeatedly, but is met with radio silence from Greta. But you know who she does get a call from? Shanice Williamson, who wants to grab lunch while she’s in town. Katherine’s assistant, Carter, encourages his boss to explore things with Shanice so she doesn’t spend a lifetime wondering what might have been. Suddenly, I am a very big fan of Carter’s.

At lunch, Shanice regales Katherine with her post-coming out paparazzi experience and thanks Katherine for giving her the push she needed. She reaches over and touches Katherine’s hand but immediately pulls back, recalling that the lawyer’s in a happy relationship. Katherine corrects her: she’s not technically in a relationship right now. Finally given the green light, Shanice makes a direct overture, inviting Katherine to join her for a trip to Miami. She adds, “Katherine, I left you once for Miami, and I don’t want to make that same mistake again.” I swoon and wish I could go help Katherine back her bags.

But because the TV Gods insist on denying me all the things I want, Katherine doesn’t make the trip to Miami. She realizes she’s using Shanice in an effort to make Greta jealous and it’s not fair to her. Shanice encourages Katherine to go fight for what she wants and Katherine does just that. She heads straight to the tattoo parlor to talk to Greta but she’s not there. After Katherine drops the L-word, Greta’s assistant, begrudgingly, admits that her boss is at the Animal Hospital because her cat is really sick. When Katherine arrives at the hospital, Greta admits that it’s not the best time: they’ve just had to say good-bye to Patti LaFur. They. And right at that moment, out walks the ex-wife, Julia, into Greta’s open arms. Later, Katherine cries as she tells Theo about Patti but it’s clear her tears are about her heartbreak.

****Meanwhile, Maddox approaches Rome after class and asks if he might talk to his parents during their parent-teacher conference about his transness. His parents aren’t listening to him so Maddox hopes that hearing it “from an adult who gets it,” they’ll start to understand. Maddox drops his parents’ names and it sparks a memory for Rome: turns out, Maddox’s father (Clark Ainsworth) is one of the kids that tormented him when he was a student.

To his credit, when Clark and his wife sit down for their meeting with Rome, he apologizes outright. Still, though, the apology feels insufficient…in part because putting a “whites only” sign over the water fountain feels a bit heavier than the ambiguous apology Clark offers, but mostly because we’ve seen the repercussions of that torment in Rome’s life. The teacher doesn’t dwell on their shared history and, instead, keeps the focus on Maddox. The parents scowl every time Rome uses Maddox’s preferred name and proper pronouns. They chalk this up to just another phase like when they were obsessed with yoga or crystals or going goth. But Rome corrects them: “I don’t think what’s going on with Maddow is the same as being way into The Cure.” Rome insists that his class is about capturing the truth on film and asserts that while Maddox is in his class, he gets to be who he is. Maddox’s father reads into Rome’s statement and it’s clear what’s about to happen.

Sure enough, the Ainsworths run to the school’s dean and blame Rome for the “Maddox problem.” They’re among the school’s most prolific donors and threaten to pull all their funding if Rome isn’t fired immediately.

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Top Chef: Houston 1911: “Family Vacation”

Written by Natalie

If Restaurant Wars is the challenge where queer cheftestants on Top Chef shine, the family challenge — the episode where a family member participates in the elimination challenge in some way — is our achilles heel. In back-to-back seasons now, first with Maria Mazon and now with Ashleigh Shanti, the queer cheftestant has been undone by the family challenge. That feels oddly poetic.

Things don’t start badly for Ashleigh. In the elimination challenge, she excels, preparing a seafood platter on the shores of Galveston, Texas for Padma and Top Chef alum, Shota Nakajima. The challenge requires the chefs to create one cold preparation and one hot. Ashleigh offers a gulf oyster with country ham and kanzuri barbecue sauce for her cold preparation and peel and eat jerk shrimp for her hot preparation. Her platter earns her a spot in the top three but Evelyn is able to edge her out for the win. As the winner, Evelyn gets 30 extra minutes of cook time for the elimination challenge.

For the elimination challenge, the chefs are hosting a family reunion at a lush Galveston beach house. They’re given dossiers of the attendees’ preferences and are challenged to create a dish based on those likes and dislikes. It only takes Buddha a second to realize that his dossier is from his wife and Evelyn quickly susses out that hers is from her father. Sarah — freshly back into the competition from Last Chance Kitchen — recognizes her dossier as being from her sister…who lies about a mushroom allergy because she really doesn’t like mushrooms. Ashleigh figures out that her mom’s likely the subject of her dossier and decides to make one of her mother’s favorites: paella-inspired heirloom rice with red shrimp and calamari. It sounds amazing but from the outset I worry…just mentioning the word paella sets up a whole set of expectations.

The family members interrupt the chef’s cook time (no one seems annoyed by this, surprisingly) and the tears start following. When she spots her mother, Ashleigh notes, “My mom just kind of has this gentle touch and soothing voice that, like, I just melt. I hope at least my tears season this dish well.”

Like Maria last season, Ashleigh gets in her head during the cook and prematurely takes her squid off the griddle too early. The dish is so undercooked that Padma spits hers back out in her napkin. Even though Nick and Sarah made mistakes with their dishes but none more egregious than that. It’s Ashleigh’s time to pack her knives and go. She’s disappointed by the elimination, obviously, but you get the sense, as she leaves the kitchen, that she’s truly grateful to have had the opportunity to stand on her own and grow through the judges’ critiques.

Boobs on Your Tube: Station 19’s Queer Baby-Making Is Sweet and Sexy and Enough Already

If you’ve been following this bananas drama with the queer Grey’s Anatomy writer who stole her wife’s cancer, great news! Riese wrote about it in her Obsessed column today!

Recaps? We got recaps! Natalie recapped the midseason finale of Good Trouble. Heather recapped Gentleman Jack. And reviews? Yeah we got those too! Heather reviewed the final season of Grace and Frankie. Em reviewed Netflix’s Principles of Pleasure. And Riese dropped your streaming guide for May.

Drew also covered her movie beat in so many ways this week! She was on a NewFest panel about trans rom-coms. She interviewed the Crush screenwriters. And she unveiled another Slow Take.

Notes from the TV Team:

+ As promised, I watched the backdoor pilot of Niecy Nash’s forthcoming spin-off of The Rookie and I’m here to share the news: first, Niecy Nash remains as likable as ever. Nash’s appearance pushed the show to a season high in the ratings. More importantly, though: Nash’s character, Simone Clark, is bisexual and her colleague, Special Agent Casey Fox is a lesbian (with a penchant for one-night stands). Fingers crossed that those pieces of the characters’ biographies carry over to the spin-off. — Natalie

+ On All American: Homecoming, Keisha comes to some stark realizations behind her sordid dating history thanks to a run-in with her ex-girlfriend, Lisa. For years, Keisha had attributed her commitment-phobia to the fear of losing someone, like her father lost her mom, but Lisa sees her for what she is: someone who doesn’t believe they’re good enough to be loved. The insight convinces Keisha to recommit to therapy, in hopes that one day she’ll be “one badass girlfriend.” — Natalie

+ It’s another frustrating week for our beloved queer cheftestant, Ashleigh, on Top Chef: Houston. She doesn’t finish her plate for the quickfire challenge, earning her a spot in the bottom three. Her underpoached fish in the elimination challenge dooms her to the same fate in the elimination challenge — one focused on create new space food for NASA — but her creativity saves her and she advances to the Final Five. — Natalie

+ THE WNBA IS BACK TONIGHT, BABY! Here’s how to watch. — Heather and Natalie

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Station 19 516: “Death and the Maiden”

Written by Carmen

I have been avoiding writing about Station 19. I genuinely hate having to complain about something, when loving on something is infinitely more fun. I kept pretending that if I ignored this sperm donor plot for Maya and Carina, it would go away. That maybe the show would course correct if I just gave it time.

Then Maya burned the waffles, Carina’s stomach was bruised with injection shots, and y’all — JACK SHOWED UP AT THEIR DOOR WITH FLOWERS and Carina handed him a cup! It was time to accept the inevitable. This was happening, and so much worse, it was going to happen in their house.

To be clear, I think every queer woman who wants to have a baby with their partner, should do just that. And I think they should have absolutely every path available to them — including a known donor who’s a close friend. There are so many ways to make a family! And chosen families, however you define them and whomever you let into your heart, are important! This is not about that.

This is about the lack of creativity to take one of the steamiest sapphic couples on network television and saddle them with a baby plot less than two seconds after they got married, then dragging that plot out with needless bickering and in-fighting. It’s about Maya and Carina choosing a close friend, and then (!!) in a throwback to some vintage 90s or 00s plot that no one asked for, make dumbass lesbian sex jokes as his inspiration to jerk off — again I must say, in their house!! It’s about using what should be a sacred, intimate moment for Carina and Maya, and instead centering it on Jack’s long lost brother that we’ve never heard about before and do not care about at all.

Two queer women decided to make a family and somehow Station 19 found a way to make it about cishet men. It’s enraging, and it quite simply should not have happened.

Ok — my mini rant out of the way, here’s some of the good of what happened: Eventually, after all the long lost brother drama dies down, Maya and Carina eventually do have some fairly hot sex (right up until Jack interrupts them with his cup of sperm). There’s also a very sweet moment between the three of them, right when you least expect it, that reminded me of the best of Calzona and Mark Sloan (which was also a deeply unpopular queer family making in Shondaland when it first aired, but warmed my heart by the time Mark died. HAHAHA Whoops! Sorry! Sad little detour there!)

So there you have it, a Station 19 baby was hopefully made, so that we never have to revisit this plot again.

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Grey’s Anatomy 1816: “Should I Stay or Should I Go”

Written by Carmen

Here I am, forced completely against my will, to say an unthinkable sentence: Owen Hunt Is Right.

It gets worse.

Owen Hunt Is Right, and Teddy Altman Is Wrong.

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH THAT HURTS TO TYPE!!!

This might be the cruelest thing Shondaland has ever done to me, force me to write 300 words about the rightness of Owen fucking Hunt.

If you’ll recall, all the way back in this season’s premiere, four-year-old Leo wore a dress to Owen and Teddy’s wedding. In the next episode, Leo wore a dress to daycare at the hospital. And then we never circled back around to that, but this week while saying goodbye to Owen, Owen complimented Leo on being a dress up “cowboy” — Leo giggled and said “I’m not a cowboy!” So Owen tipped Leo’s pink sparkly hat and said, “Oh I’m sorry a cowgirl.” Leo giggles again, “No just a girl!”

Teddy freaks out. My gorgeous, headstrong, bisexual, forever team favorite Teddy Altman jumps down to meet Leo’s height and corrects her, “no this is just pretend, you’re a boy.” And Owen looks on, confused and horrified. Because WTF TEDDY.

Later, Teddy says that they need to get a therapist for Leo because this is Serious Business, and Owen goes, “Umm Leo’s been wearing dresses forever now… didn’t you see this coming?”

Teddy — who has otherwise been brilliant and observant until this very day — thought they were just raising a kid who loved dress up. The possibility of Leo being trans apparently never occurred to her? I guess. I don’t know. She’s worried about (gasp) what will people think. And isn’t four too young to know who you are? (No Teddy it’s not, and I hate the writers of Shondaland for making me have to explain this to you.)

When the workday is over, Teddy and Owen share a bench cuddled together outside the hospital. Teddy apologizes, she knows her first reaction to Leo wasn’t a good one (thank God for the small things, I guess!). She just doesn’t want to mess this up. And there’s so much they could mess up here! Owen says that they should get a therapist — but for them, the adults, not for Leo.

As far as Owen is concerned, Leo gets to be whomever Leo says she is. And as the parents they need to let her lead and follow with love.

Owen is obviously correct (and I’m ecstatic for Leo’s future with sparky pink hats and a family who loves her!! No matter much “Owen is right” still hurts to type). Teddy agrees to the therapy, but worries about what will happen if she and Owen can’t agree about what comes next. Owen rubs her gently by the knee and says, “I don’t know.”

OK, I am very glad that Grey’s Anatomy is going to take seriously Leo’s gender and what it means to raise a trans kid, because it’s an iconic institution of American television at a time when real life trans kids (Leo’s age and not much older) are under very real, direct attack. This is what Shondaland is supposed to do, and do well. Shonda Rhimes herself credits Norman Lear style of television-making — using the power of storytelling to humanize political talking points, so that they can no longer be weapons — as an inspiration. This is why she made Calzona in the aughts. This is the blueprint.

But damn, did we have to make Owen right to do it?

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9-1-1 516: “May Day”

Written by Natalie

Henrietta Wilson was always skeptical of the rotating roster of paramedics who circled in and out of Station 118 — she couldn’t even be bothered to learn their names — during Chimney’s absence but everyone just chalked it to Hen just missing her longtime partner. But this week, on 9-1-1, there’s evidence that that skepticism was highly warranted.

After a fire breaks out at the local 9-1-1 call center, the team rushes to the rescue. When they arrive, they’re joined by the crew from Station 133 which includes Jonah, one of the aforementioned rotating paramedics, who Hen simply dubbed as “Monday.” He volunteers to help Hen set up a triage area at the parking garage next door. The rescue is progressing well until Bobby learns that his step-daughter, May, and her annoying colleague Claudette Collins (AKA Vanessa E. Williams, AKA Pippa Pascal), are still upstairs, just above where the fire started. Bobby hands off command of the scene to the captain of Station 133 and suits up to help in the rescue.

By the time the team gets inside, the fire’s travelled up to the third floor. The team’s able to get Claudette out but the structure collapses, trapping Bobby and May in the rumble. Everyone from the 118, including Hen, drops what they’re doing and rushes to their Captain’s aid. They use their hands to clear the debris and find Bobby shielding May from the worst of the collapse. They carry them both to safety in the triage area. May finds Claudette and, though she’ll have to receive a nebulizer to counteract the smoke she inhaled, it looks like she’ll be fine. But later, when they cross paths at the hospital — May having ridden in with Bobby and Hen having transported an injured victim — Claudette is definitely not fine. She’s dead.

“Her pressure bottomed out. I couldn’t get her rhythm back,” Jonah admits. “It’s weird. I should’ve been able to save her. I usually save them.”

Hen’s stunned by the loss and is taken aback by Jonah’s flippant response to the 9-1-1 operator’s death. Later, she reflects on the situation, wondering if there’s something more sinister at play, and Karen urges her wife to trust her instincts.

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All American 417: “Hate Me Now”

Written by Natalie

Coop returns home to find a bouquet on the steps of the Baker mansion and brings them inside for Patience. At first, Patience assumes that the flowers are a gift from Coop but she assures her ex that she didn’t send them. Patience pulls out the card and discovers that they’re from Sabine and scampers off to put the flowers in a vase. The flowers and Patience’s giddy reaction grates on Coop and soon thereafter, she calls Skye to schedule their first date. When Skye arrives, things are uncomfortably awkward between her, Coop and Patience. Oblivious to the tension between them, Skye lets it slip that Coop’s been the holdout when it comes to them dating and her call came out of the blue. Coop offers a half-hearted protest and then ushers Skye out of the house.

Speaking of half-hearted…Coop puts absolutely zero effort in finding an appropriate first date spot for herself and Skye. I mean, there are some girls for whom a food truck would be a completely acceptable first date but Skye? Nah, she’s way too bougie for that. Surprisingly, though, Skye’s willing to make an exception for Coop because she’s special. But then the wheels of this impromptu date start to come off. The food truck operator greets Coop warmly when she approaches the window and immediately sets out to prepare her favorite: “a big dog with the works for [Coop] and a hash puppy dog for Patience.” Coop is mortified and apologizes to Skye as they sit down and wait for their order. Skye accepts her apology but as Coop goes on (and on) about Patience, her enthusiasm wains.

“I know it probably looks weird because we still live together but that’s just a roommate situation,” Coop acknowledges. “I mean, she moved to the room upstairs, real fast. But it’s all good because now we’ve got our own space and she can fill hers with all the flowers she wants from Sabine and whoever else is sending them. I mean, you should’ve seen the tulips that came to the crib last night…”

At this point, Skye realizes that Coop is not special enough to tolerate all this. She calls Coop out for her thoughtless behavior — of talking ad nauseum about her ex, of only calling Skye after Patience’s flowers came — and walks away from their date. When Coop returns home with the date’s leftovers, Patience gets upset at Coop for taking Skye to their favorite food truck. Coop points out that Patience is no better: “[she’s] got Chlorine sending you entire rain forests over to our crib.” Patience corrects Coop — “her name is Sabine” — and insists that the flowers were just a platonic gesture. Coop’s skeptical because red flowers do not scream “platonic” but Patience shows Coop the card which is signed, “your friend, Sabine.”

Patience admits that their relationship meant a lot to her but, if they keep going like this — each just trying to hurt the other — they won’t have a friendship left. The pair sit down and lay out some ground rules for moving on, including dubbing the Baker House neutral territory. But as they come up with new rules to govern their post-break-up period, Coop hands Patience the funnel cake she bought for her, and I don’t think these rules will be applicable for long.

With the rules set, Coop invites Skye to Slausson Cafe to apologize for her behavior. She charms her way back into Skye’s good graces and gets a second chance on that first date.

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NCIS: Hawai’i 120: “Nightwatch”

Written by Natalie

Apparently, Lucy’s visit to the Kahuna paid off and the NCIS is ready to test the waters with dating someone new. Skylar and Lucy are having fun playing glow-in-the-dark mini golf when Lucy’s called away for work. She asks for a rain check and it’s clear that this won’t be the last these two see of each other.

Back at HQ, the team’s given the case of a Navy machinist who’s implicated in the murder of US Attorney. When Ernie’s attempts to find out why the prosecutor was in Hawai’i are thwarted, Jane pushes to get the information from Kate. Ernie admits he’s tried but can’t reach Whistler so all eyes fall to Lucy to track down her ex early on a Saturday morning. For a second, Lucy feigns indignation that they’d assume she knows where Whistler is but then she realizes, it’s 6AM on a Saturday, she knows exactly where Kate is. Lucy arrives at the beach just in time to see Kate stride out of the water with her surfboard. Lucy’s so flustered by the sight of her, she stumbles over her words in an attempt to explain why she’s there: there was a murder and the team needs her help. Lucy seems more than a little relieved when Kate rushes off to get her clothes.

Whistler can’t find any cases tying the dead prosecutor to Hawai’i but, according to his phone records, he’s been talking to a colleague of hers at the FBI. She heads to the agent’s house, with Lucy and Jesse on the phone and trailing close behind, but when she hears gunshots, Kate rushes towards the danger. She peeks into the house and sees her colleague dead on the floor, with the Navy machinist standing over his body. Lucy urges Kate to stay put until they arrive but the FBI agent ignores her advice and confronts the machinist on her own. Inside, she’s blindsided by the actual killer and a fight ensues. The killer manages to put Whistler on her back but runs when she hears Jesse and Lucy approach. Kate urges Lucy to chase the killer out the back door but Lucy refuses to leave Whistler.

Bloodied and bruised, Kate tries to recall everything she can about the killer. Lucy scolds Whistler for going in without back-up and for risking her life…and it’s part legitimate NCIS complaint, part “the woman I loved (love?) could’ve died and I’m scared.” But when Kate’s boss — it’s Billy Riggins! — shows up at the scene, Lucy’s more amicable, commending Whistler for stepping in and securing the witness. Billy Riggins and Lucy head back to the FBI to search through the agent’s office and notes. Lucy gets an alert that Whistler’s going to be okay and Billy Riggins is grateful: afterall, getting her from the DIA was a coup. Apparently, the DIA offered Kate a promotion in DC and she turned it down, opting to stay in Hawai’i and move over to the FBI. The revelation rocks Lucy. She knows how ambitious Whistler is and, yet, she gave up a promotion to stay near her?

After the case is solved, Lucy and Kate cross paths in the NCIS bullpen. Lucy apologizes for being hard on her earlier before asking Whistler about passing up the DC job. Kate admits that it’s true and assures Lucy that she was going to tell her before their relationship imploded. But before Whistler can explain anymore, Lucy cuts her off. She can’t take any more heartbreak. Lucy scolds Whistler for ruining the special thing they’d built and admits that she loved her. It’s the first time Lucy’s said that aloud and Kate is stunned by the admission. Lucy leaves Whistler standing in the bullpen, feeling the full weight of what she’s lost. But Lucy rebounds quickly and cashes in that raincheck with Skyler.

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New Amsterdam 418: “No Ifs, Ands, or Buts”

Written by Natalie

Lauren knew this was coming. She knew the moment that she handed Leyla the money she needed for an immigration lawyer, their relationship would be forever altered. Their entire relationship would become transactional, she told Casey, and eventually Leyla would grow to resent her for it. And when Leyla slides a brown paper across the lunch table — a cash installment of her loan repayment, to avoid a paper trail — Lauren’s proven right. It feels more like an elicit drug deal than an exchange between two people who once loved each other.

But the thing that Lauren didn’t anticipate is how her new relationship with Leyla would make her feel. The situation is immensely stressful and unlike in the past, she can’t use drugs, sex or alcohol to help her cope. The stress pushes her to lash out at the head of New Amsterdam’s holistic medicine department, Dr. Mia Castries, over a disagreement over a patient’s diagnosis. Lauren becomes so focused on finding the cause of her patient’s pain that she forgets to offer him any relief from it so he reaches out to Dr. Castries on his own. Lauren lashes out at Mia again but ultimately realizes that she’s in the wrong.

“I’ve had a really hard stretch,” Dr. Bloom admits. “And, uh…the things that I used to rely on to get me through, well, they’re…turns out they’re not so sustainable. So I’m lashing out.”

Lauren confesses that she might need to find a new crutch and Mia reminds her that a crutch means that she’s leaning on something, not fixing what’s really wrong. She tells Dr. Bloom that her attempt to avoid feeling her feelings only prolongs them. They step inside to talk to their patient and observe the rashes on his body and Dr. Bloom realizes what’s causing his pain: Celiac Disease. For years, the patient thought that he had MS but, as his symptoms are actually caused by inflammation from the gluten. Mia laments the diagnosis — the patient owns a calzone shop, after all — “because it’s hard to accept when something you love is hurting you.” Lauren feels read by Mia’s declaration and escapes out into the hallway. The holistic medicine doctor follows and Lauren confesses, “something I love is hurting me. I’m just not really sure how to let it out.”

Mia offers to help and Lauren takes her up on it. She persuades Lauren to try cupping therapy to bring her some relief.

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A Million Little Things 418: “Slipping”

Written by Natalie

Excitement abounds in the Kim house this week, as Theo prepares to reunite with his girlfriend, Kiana, at the premiere for her mother’s new movie in New York City. Greta shares in Theo’s excitement — she’s a big Shanice Williamson fan — and presses Katherine for the story of how they even met. Katherine explains their backstory, conveniently leaving out the part about Shanice being the person who compelled Katherine to re-examine her life (and sexuality) or the part about Shanice being her first same-sex kiss. I try to offer Katherine some grace in this moment: telling Greta about what happened between her and Shanice would mean outing the movie star so Katherine avoids telling her girlfriend as a kindness.

But when Katherine and Theo get to New York, she doesn’t bother to tell Shanice about Greta either. When they first reunite, Shanice notices the tattoo on Katherine’s wrist and applauds her for doing things that her mother wouldn’t approve of, a hurdle Katherine had been trying to overcome when she met Shanice. It’s a prime opportunity to acknowledge Greta but, instead, Katherine just notes that “a friend” did her tattoo. Shanice holds Katherine’s hand and traces her fingertips across the tattoo and says that she loves it. The move is so seductive that it should eliminate whatever doubt existed about Shanice’s intentions for their reunion…and yet, Katherine still says nothing.

When the foursome return from the premiere, Shanice slips into something a bit more casual and offers Katherine a gift: a gold bracelet. As she slips it onto Katherine’s tattooed wrist, Shanice recalls that she’d first started working on the movie when she first met Katherine in Boston. She notes that Katherine seems like she’s in a better place now and asks if she’s happy. It’s another opportunity for Katherine to mention Greta but, again, she doesn’t. Instead, she just thanks Shanice for forcing her to face some things about herself. Katherine acknowledges that she finally feels like her full self. Shanice is happy to hear that, of course, but laments that she’s still curtailed by the expectations of the people around her. She is, however, “open to whatever comes [her] way.”

Theo interrupts the charged moment and asks if they can sleep over. Shanice urges Katherine to say yes, pointing out that her hotel suite has another wing where she and Theo could stay. Theo begs, explaining that Kiana says the sunrise view from the suite’s “balcony will rock [his] word.” Shanice asks for a verdict, “What do you say, Katherine? You ready to have your world rocked?”

Yeah…that is not subtle.

Staying in that suite, knowing where Shanice’s interests lie…Katherine knows what spending the night means and, still, she agrees to it. She steps into the bathroom and calls Greta to share that she’ll be staying in New York overnight but doesn’t volunteer any other information. Katherine emerges just in time to hear Theo spill the beans about his mom’s girlfriend, Greta. The hurt on Shanice’s face is unmistakable and her gaze falls directly on Katherine. After dinner, the two finally have it out. Katherine promises that she was going to tell her — which, frankly, I’m not sure I believe — but that she got caught up in the moment. Shanice attributes it to all the pomp and circumstance around her fame but Katherine urges her not to diminish what happened between them. Shanice admits that she thought about Katherine and the lucky woman who’d one day sweep her off her feet. She laments that she doesn’t have great timing.

But then, the narrative pivots, away from the fact that Katherine kept Greta a secret and onto the secret that Shanice is keeping. Katherine questions whether, if circumstances were different, Shanice would be ready. Shanice defends her decision to stay closeted, saying she has a responsibility to the black girls who look up to her. Katherine presses her: doesn’t Shanice have a responsibility to herself and her own happiness? Shanice responds dismissively to Katherine’s question and Katherine decides that it’s probably best that she and Theo leave.

The next morning, Greta reminds Katherine about their date night plans: watching The Bachelor and, for Greta at least, being “very glad [she’s] a lesbian.” As Greta and Theo rush off to the pet store, Katherine gets an e-mail from her assistant, Carter, with a link to some breaking news: Shanice Williams came out as bisexual.

Y’all, I gasped…and then nearly sent an apology tweet to Cameron Esposito because Katherine can’t continue to deny her feelings for Shanice now.

Meanwhile, both Rome and Maddox are both riding high from his video submission: Rome’s excited that he created an environment safe enough for Maddox to share his truth and Maddox is so thrilled by Rome’s response that he considers coming out on picture day. That decision worries Rome so he reaches out to Maggie — during her live radio show — to solicit some advice. Maggie pushes “Tom Brady” to see that his worry is rooted, in part, from his own experiences at the school where he now teaches. She encourages him to “not let the past get in the way of the present.” And, sure enough, when Maddox changes into his own clothes for pictures, his fellow students are accepting. But then Maddox goes home and his parents aren’t as supportive…and the next day, Maddox returns, wearing a girl’s uniform, with his eyes brimming with tears.

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Charmed 407: “Cats and Camels and Elephants, Oh My”

Written by Valerie Anne

This week, the Charmed Ones realize that no more Tallyman doesn’t mean no more trouble. The bartender babe is still wreaking havoc, including impersonating Kaela’s mom, which luckily she catches onto fairly quickly, but unfortunately not fast enough to save her thumb from being chopped off for the bartender’s nefarious plans.

Meanwhile, Mel runs into Ruby, who asks her to be on her committee, but Mel doesn’t have time…ironic, considering she’s a time witch. But Ruby thinks it’s also because of her and Swan being a thing now and lets Mel off the hook. Eventually Mel goes back and decides she’s going to use her powers to make time for things that matters and agrees to be on Ruby’s staff.

After the gals face the bartender, Maggie learns that she can mimic powers now and kills the bartender with her own claws. But, as it turns out she has nine lives so she pops back to life and answers to her higher power saying, “The lost one will rise.” Surely that’s fine.

Until then, Kaela will use her baby blanket to finally find out how she’s connected to this whole Charmed One business.

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Legacies 417:”Into the Woods”

Written by Valerie Anne

This week, Aurora is hanging out with Ken, dressing him like a…well, a Ken Doll and trying to convince him they’re on the same side. They trauma bond and make a plan to kill the Tribrid, together. Back at the school, Ben agrees to help kill Ken, but also they might be out a player because MG and Lizzie are realizing that Ethan might be joining Landon in Limbo soon.

Meanwhile, Hope is down in the underworld with Landon, and she wants to change the rules of Limbo but it turns out even the Tribrid isn’t quite THAT powerful. She sickles the Ferryman and tricks the Necromancer into sending Landon back to the material plane, where he overhears what’s been going on at the school, but then gets dragged back to Limbo by the Ferryman like a kid whose mom caught him out past curfew. Hope really wants to get them both back to the real world, but Landon is realizing they both have their roles, and their destinies don’t intertwine anymore. Landon is fated to stay in Limbo helping souls cross over, and Hope is slated to save the world from a god. She has to be the one who lives, even if it’s harder.
They say goodbye and kiss and my heart really wants it to be the last time. But my brain has seen this show and knows that if anything is true it’s this: there’s always a loophole.

Hope finally wakes up in the real world, her Tribrid body healed, interrupting the chess game of strategy Ben is playing trying to figure out how to stop his father. She points out he’s missing on thing: the queen. And she’s ready to be put back on the board.

Boobs on Your Tube: “Naomi” Knows We’ve All Been in Love With Our Best Friends

Welcome to your weekly queer TV round-up! We’ve had a busy week! Gentleman Jack came back and Heather recapped it. Alice finally revealed what happened to her on Margaret Cho’s comedy tour on Good trouble, and Natalie recapped it. And Drag Race recapped their season 14 winner and Drew recapped it. Drew also bid a warm goodbye to Better Things.

In movie news, we got confirmation that Pixar’s Lightyear added back in the lesbian kiss. Hulu’s Crush finally landed, and Analyssa reviewed it and also interviewed Rowan Blanchard and Auli’i Cravalho. Drew reviewed Anaïs in Love and also we have an exclusive clip and poster giveaway!

Notes from the TV Team:

+ Some NCIS: Hawai’i spoilers for you: I guess Lucy’s session with the Kahuna really paid off because on Monday’s episode the NCIS agent has her first, post-Whistler, date. Which do you think will derail the chances of a second date more: work or Lucy finding out that Whistler turned down a promotion in DC to stay in Hawai’i? — Natalie

+ I’d hoped that Ashleigh’s Restaurant Wars victory would kick off a win streak that’d carry her into the Finals of Top Chef: Houston but it was not to be. That said, our lone queer cheftestant lives to cook another day after outcooking two competitors in the Houston Freedmen’s Town Conservancy elimination challenge. — Natalie

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Naomi 110: “Fallout”

Written by Natalie

Early on in the Naomi pilot, the show’s titular character comes to Lourdes for information about the Superman stunt that’d taken place in the town square. When she’s called home for dinner, Naomi asks Lourdes to text her if she hears anything and then pauses for a beat, meets Lourdes’ wandering eyes, and adds, “or even if you don’t.” It’s a clearly flirtatious moment — even Annabelle seems impressed by Naomi’s game — and our first sign that our hero is a little bit queer. The flirtation continues in the show’s subsequent episodes and, though you expect it to stop when Naomi reunites with Nathan, it doesn’t. The flirtation — the furtive glances and the accidental touches — continues and suddenly, it feels like Naomi is toying with Lourdes. The cuteness gives way to the cruelty.

Am I willing to accept that a teenager, even one as exceptional as Naomi, would be oblivious to how their actions were affecting someone else? Of course. But the show never afforded Lourdes the opportunity to react to any of it, making the character feel inauthentic. The fact that Anthony was given that space and Lourdes was not only compounded the cruelty. But thankfully, this week we finally get some reprieve.

After discovering a box beneath the space rock where she’d been found as a baby, Naomi wants answers. But since everyone that she’d normally depend on for answers — Dee, Zumbado, her parents — have been lying to her, she decides to visit a bar where aliens are known to frequent, in hopes of getting some impartial answers. She calls Lourdes and the two head out on a road trip to find the answers Naomi’s after. Things are light between them — they jam out to Keri Hilson’s “Pretty Girl Rock” along the way — and Naomi snaps a few pics for the ‘gram.

When they arrive at the bar, Lourdes volunteers to go inside with Naomi but she declines. This is personal, Naomi admits, and Lourdes doesn’t ask for more than Naomi offers. But it doesn’t matter anyway because Naomi never makes it inside. The bouncer stops her at the door — because who’s letting a 16 year old kid with a backpack into a bar — and Naomi tries to make her case for entry by showing him the artifact she found. But while Naomi doesn’t know what the box is, every other alien at the bar clearly does…and soon, some nameless alien tries to steal it away from her. Thankfully, Akira (AKA Alex Cabot) shows up, tosses a fireball in the alien’s direction and rushes Naomi to safety.

(From Lourdes’ seat, it was nearly impossible for her to not have seen Naomi being accosted or Akira’s fireball but, frustratingly, the show doesn’t bother to interrogate that fact.)

Back at her comic book store in Port Oswego, Lourdes leaves Naomi to sort things out with Akira. But before they can get too deep in the mythology — the artifact is a transmatter cube that opens portals — Naomi’s principal discovers her being truant. The misstep leads to the confrontation she’s been avoiding with her parents. Later, Lourdes invites Naomi (and Annabelle) out for a night to decompress at a warehouse party. The girls have fun, snapping pics and dancing…and, though Annabelle is there, Lourdes and Naomi are in their own little world. They’re dancing together, holding hands, smiling at each other and exchanging furtive glances. It’s flirtatious, in the same way so many of their past interactions have been, but this time Lourdes leans in for a kiss.

Naomi immediately pulls away. Lourdes stammers, trying to understand how she misread the moment, and Naomi reminds her that she has a boyfriend. Clearly hurt, Lourdes asks what their entire day has been about and wonders aloud if Naomi has just been using her. Naomi insists that she wasn’t — they were friends and they were just having fun — and apologizes for giving Lourdes the wrong impression. She used a similar excuse when Anthony misinterpreted their pizza outing as something more but Naomi never actively flirted with Anthony in the way she’s flirted with Lourdes.

“I don’t just want to be your ride or your friend, and you know that,” Lourdes asserts. “If you want to deny how you feel, fine, but I know what I want. And I’m not settling for being the girl you use in selfies to make your boyfriend jealous.”

Lourdes suggests that it’s time Naomi start facing things on her own and returns to the dance floor. Left alone, Naomi is approached by Mac (Briana Venskus) who brings her a message from Brutus, AKA “the bad guy from [Naomi’s] home planet.” He invites Naomi to return to Earth-29 but, of course, she refuses. A fight breaks out and Naomi — showcasing all she’s learned from Dee — defeats Mac in the first round. Just as she regroups and threatens Naomi again, Akira and Zumbado show up, forcing Mac into a retreat. I can’t imagine it’ll be the last we see of her, though.

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All American 416: “Labels”

Written by Natalie

Last week, when Layla criticized Patience’s disinterest in finalizing her album title, Coop jumped to Patience’s defense and urged Layla to just respect the process. I understood that: the creative process isn’t linear — it ebbs and flows — and you can’t force inspiration to strike. This week, though? This week, when Patience can’t be bothered to send out invitations for her album release party or get her own guitar? That just feels lazy…diva-ish, in a way we’ve never known Patience to be. The only thing that gets Patience excited about her own album release? The promise that Sabine — a singer-songwriter who Patience is a big fan of — will make an appearance.

Patience is far less enthused by the day’s second visitor to the Baker mansion: Skye, Ms. Maritta’s granddaughter. She stops by to return a phone charger Coop left at her grandmother’s — though, to be clear, Coop didn’t actually leave the charger — and inquires whether she’ll see Coop later when she stops to visit Maritta. Coop demures, explaining that she has a record release party to go to, and Patience interjects that it’s her record release party. Her, the girl that her ex-girlfriend just introduced as her roommate. Skye tries to finagle an invite to the party but, sadly, Patience muses that there’s no space left on the guest list. Skye laments that her and her 2.5 million Instagram followers will have to find something else to do…and just like that, Layla finds space for Skye on the guest list.

Am I surprised to see someone react badly to seeing their ex being thirsted after by someone new? Not at all. But Patience being this childish and petty? Again, this feels like a version of Patience that we’ve never seen before.

Just before the show’s slated to start, Sabine shows up and Coop takes notice of their easy rapport. Later, she questions whether Patience is just a fangirl or if she’s Sabine’s girl. I’m less bothered by this flash of jealousy from Coop because, though it’s a bit ridiculous because Patience and Sabine just met, we’ve seen Coop be jealous before. After being questioned about her relationship with Sabine, Patience turns the tables, questioning Coop about her relationship with Skye. Coop dismisses the suggestion outright, still clinging to the belief that Skye came over to return the charger.

Sabine interrupts to make sure everything’s okay and Coop assures her that they’re good. Patience is still nervous that Layla hasn’t arrived but Sabine tries to put her at ease. The trio stand their in an awkward silence until Coop introduces herself to Sabine. As they shake hands, Patience injects and also introduces Coop as her roommate…an introduction that, clearly, gets under Coop’s skin. But that’s not the night’s only annoyance: when Patience takes the stage — with Sabine’s guitar — she neglects to acknowledge Coop but is effusive about Sabine. Coop gets in her feelings so when Skye comes in, looking all kinds of thirsty, Coop flirts back and eventually, they leave together…just as Patience is wrapping up her performance.

That gets Patience all in her feelings and she acts out impulsively. When Sabine greets her after the show, Patience misreads the energy and plants a kiss on her. Patience apologizes immediately and Sabine recognizes that Patience acted out because of her “roommate” Coop. At a different time, Sabine says, she would’ve happily mixed it up with Patience but once she started taking her career more seriously, she had to put the personal drama in the rearview. Sabine encourages Patience to do the same.

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New Amsterdam 417: “Unfinished Business”

Written by Natalie

The day after the New Amsterdam team’s karaoke outing, half the team is missing. The remaining members disperse to locate the missing: Max leaves to search for Helen, Floyd tries to find Mia, Iggy hunts for Trevor, Ben and Karen track down Elizabeth and Lauren frantically scours the city for Casey. She recalls that Casey was slated to meet up with an old Army buddy and tracks down his contact information through the VA. Once she gets his number, she calls Ronnie to ask about his night with Casey. Still hungover from the night before, Ronnie admits they went out but that Casey “bounced” after they nearly got in an accident. Lauren’s so concerned about what’s happened to her best friend that she rams into Leyla in the halls of New Amsterdam.

Seeing Lauren’s determination to find Casey, Leyla agrees to join her in the search. They take a cab to the last place that Ronnie remembers seeing Casey and look for any signs of him on the empty city street. While they search, Lauren asks Leyla to explain the situation with her visa and she does. Essentially, her refugee status is being revoked and and if she doesn’t fight it, she’ll have to return to Pakistan. She hasn’t been able to secure a lawyer via Legal Aid or pro bono legal clinics but Lauren insists that she needs to get a lawyer. Leyla stammers and Lauren knows what Leyla’s struggling to say so she pre-empts her, asking how much she needs: $10k for a retainer and another $10k a month after that.

“I hate to ask you,” Leyla admits. “I don’t know who else [to ask].”

Before Lauren can answer, Leyla spots Casey work ID on the ground, covered in blood. She follows the blood trail to a nearby alley and finds him collapsed against a wall with a screwdriver stuck in his neck. When Lauren tries to rouse Casey, he jostles and dislodges the screwdriver from his neck. I’ve watched enough Grey’s Anatomy to know that that’s a very bad thing. Lauren presses against his neck in an effort to stem the blood flow and sends Leyla to find something to seal off the wound. After searching the nearby area, she returns with a caulking gun which Lauren uses to seal the puncture wound. It holds long enough for Lauren to get Casey into an ambulance and to New Amsterdam.

On the ride to the hospital, Lauren tries to assure Casey that he’ll be okay but Casey’s seen enough to know how dire his straits are. He encourages her to be honest with him in what could be their final conversation. She admits that Leyla’s asked her for money and while she has it to give, Lauren knows once she does, their entire relationship will be transactional and that, one day, Leyla will come to resent her. But she also knows that if she doesn’t give Leyla the money, she’ll have to go back to Pakistan and Lauren will never see her again.

Casey’s wheeled immediately into the OR and Lauren and Leyla watch the surgery from the observation deck. Thankfully, the screwdriver didn’t puncture his carotid artery so there’s still a chance Casey might survive (spoiler alert: he does!). Leyla reaches out and grabs Lauren’s hand to comfort her as they watch — almost out of instinct — but then withdraws when she realizes how it must look. Leyla promises that she’s not trying to take advantage of Lauren or her feelings but Lauren knows that Leyla wouldn’t do that. She says…

Things between us are complicated. Over. But I’m in awe of you. Starting out in a new country. Never backing down. Even when faced with obstacles that would probably break me. I love you. And not just in the way that I know that I need to get over. I love you as a person. And I wanna do whatever I can to help you be that person. I’ll give you whatever money you need.

It’s such a beautiful admission — “I’m in awe of you” makes my heart swell — and all I want is for Lauren and Leyla to find their way back to each other, but it feels like a goodbye. Lauren wants the best for Leyla even if it costs thousands of dollars and their relationship.

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A Million Little Things 417: “60 Minutes”

Written by Natalie

Last week, before Katherine invited Greta to “temporarily” move in with her, she paused to make sure that her son was okay with it. Of course, Theo didn’t care, he was just excited to have someone new to play board games with. It didn’t seem to cross her mind, at the time, that there was one other person she should’ve talked to first: Theo’s dad. And while Eddie’s been surprisingly cool about Katherine’s new girlfriend, when he arrives at the house this week to find his son and his ex-wife’s girlfriend wearing matching footie pajamas, he’s rightfully upset.

Katherine gets immediately defensive when Eddie questions her decision and, honestly, that’s understandable too. It’s a real changing of the guard for the former couple: Katherine being the impulsive one, and Eddie being the thoughtful, concerned parent. Eventually, though, she realizes that Eddie’s right and apologizes for not talking to him first. She opens herself up to whatever questions she has and, unbeknownst to either of them, Theo’s sitting at the top of the stairs listening to the entire conversation. Later, when Greta’s taking Theo to school, he drops a question on her that she clearly wasn’t ready for: “What does ‘bipolar’ mean?”

After dropping Theo off, Greta returns to the house and questions why Katherine would tell Eddie that she’s bipolar. Katherine admits that she did tell Eddie but that she also told him that Greta had it completely under control. Greta bristles at the notion that her personal details are being shared with someone she’s not in a relationship with but Katherine asserts that, as Theo’s father, he has a right to know. She assures Greta that Eddie’s not worried about her “issues” at all but it’s clear to Greta that Katherine clearly is. She asks directly if her bipolar scares Katherine and Katherine admits it does. John’s suicide — which is the inciting incident for this whole show — looms large in Katherine’s mind and the statistics for people with bipolar are scary. Greta takes Katherine’s admission as evidence of a lack of trust and storms out, determined to find another place to live.

Later, Katherine shows up at the tattoo parlor, just as it’s closing, and apologizes to Greta for not talking to her before she talked to Eddie. Greta answers with an apology of her own, admitting that she’s not used to her girlfriend putting a man before her (even if he’s only 12). They agree to have a conversation about Greta’s bipolar and the two sit down with Theo to talk it out.

Meanwhile, Katherine’s friend, Rome, has taken a new job teaching filmmaking at his old prep school. Things do not go well until he decides to open up and make himself vulnerable in front of his students. He gives the students their first assignment: to interview someone in their family and give him some insight into why they’re important in their lives. After class, Rome’s approached by a student who thanks him for his candor and asks if the assignment can be expanded to include anyone close to them because their parents aren’t around. Rome agrees and, as soon as the student exits, celebrates a successful first day of teaching.

Later, Rome receives video submissions from his students, including the student who stayed after class. For the first time in their life, the student introduces someone else to their true self. They come out as trans — a boy named Maddox — and admit that Rome’s willingness to be open gave him permission to do the same.

“Hearing what you said in class today about your journey and seeing how your film helped you, I can finally imagine a day where I might be able to accept this piece of myself and show it to everybody else,” Maddox admits.

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Legacies 416:”I Wouldn’t Be Standing Here If It Weren’t For You”

Written by Valerie Anne

Even though Hope’s humanity is back, her dark passenger is still lurking, ready to take over as soon as those pesky emotions become too much to bear. Lizzie is panicking that she helped free a god and she knows that Hope is her only hope. When she goes to see her, Hope immediately apologizes and asks for help getting rid of Dark Hope but something about Lizzie triggers her and she pushes her away. She says her and Lizzie aren’t the same because Hope’s humanity switched off and Lizzie was just Lizzie when she gave into her intrusive thoughts. When Lizzie storms off Hope realizes she might not have wrested as much control away from her dark side as she thought. Her dark side tries to tempt her, but before she can even consider giving in, Lizzie comes back with a therapy box.

Lizzie thinks Hope is holding onto her dark side as a defense mechanism, and admits that she was mean to Hope their entire lives not because she hated Hope, but because she idolized her, and Lizzie choosing to reject Hope before Hope could reject her was a form of misguided self-preservation. Inspired, Hope works with her to use the spell to turn her dark side into a butterfly she promptly incinerates.

Dad god arrives in a huff, so Hope and Lizzie go find their squad…and Hope promptly puts them to sleep. She’s starting to accept the inevitability of outliving everyone she loves, but she’s lost too much family prematurely and she’s not losing more today.

Hope goes out to face Ken, giving a CLASSIC Hope hero speech, and her and Lizzie tag team him…to no avail. Luckily, before Ken can use his powers in all their glory, Jen shows up and stops him. So the battle’s done, and they kind of won, but Hope is in the Underworld with Landom now, so she’s going to have to find her way back before the gods mess anything else up.

Boobs on Your Tube: Uh Oh, These “A Million Little Things” Lesbos Are U-Hauling Already!

Did y’all see that Netflix lost more members than it gained for the firsts time in a decade? I personally want to blame this on them killing One Day at a Time, but apparently they’ve got a lot more bad habits than just that. Not us, though, our habit is just writing about gay and trans people on teevee and that’s the best habit in the world.

This week, Drew reviewed Heartstopper, which has a sweet coming-of-age story about a trans girl. Heather reviewed First Lady, which is bringing Eleanor and Hick’s love to life on-screen and also she reviewed season two of Gentleman Jack which she unsurprisingly loved. Kayla reviewed season two of Russian Doll , which won her over despite her reservations. Recaps, we got ’em! Natalie recapped an extra gay episode of Good Trouble and Drew recapped an always gay episode of Drag Race. Also, as a treat, for 4/20, Drew got very high and watched Elena Undone and it is an absolute a delight.

Notes from the TV Team:

+ Reminder: the backdoor pilot of Niecy Nash’s new show kicks off this weekend on The Rookie. I’ll keep watch to see if anything gay happens. — Natalie

+ Apparently karaoke’s just my beat now? Because after Good Trouble Karaoke Coterie party last week, New Amsterdam returned this week with a karaoke outing of all our faves. Lauren Bloom takes the stage — stone cold sober, apparently — and performs “Uptown Girl” with Casey, as part of her quest to make amends. Also part of her quest? A taco hat which Casey forces to wear that night and the next day.

And while she tries hard to avoid Leyla — in an effort to give the resident the space she was after — they end up running into each other anyway. Lauren can’t resist asking Leyla how she is and Leyla answers honestly: there’s an issue with her visa and she’s in danger of being deported. Will we get another gay wedding to thwart draconian immigration laws? — Natalie

+ Gentleman Jack’s second season strides off on HBO this coming Monday. Look at for my recaps here every Tuesday for the next eight weeks! — Heather

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A Million Little Things 416: “Lesson Learned”

Written by Natalie

When Katherine Kim decides to try lesbianing, she really does give it her all and while I’ve been excited to cheer her on, at every step, this week might have been a bridge too far. U-Hauling…already?! Oh no, Katherine…it’s too soon. But let me back up and explain how we got here.

Katherine shows up to Greta’s tattoo parlor with lunch — presumably an excuse for a midday hook-up — and storms past her assistant who tries to warn her about what she’s walking in on. Katherine steps to the backroom entrance just in time to hear Greta chastise someone for just showing up unannounced. Greta spots her in the doorway before Katherine can escape but struggles to find a way to introduce her guest. The guest, however, feels no hesitation and announces herself: she’s Julia, Greta’s wife.

Julia wants to take advantage of the hot real estate market and sell their condo but Greta wants to stick with their initial agreement to wait until their divorce is finalized. Katherine interjects and offers some professional advice but it’s clear, from the look Greta shoots her, that Greta wants Katherine to stay out of it. Things get heated between Julia and Greta…the exes trade barbs and neither are moved from their position. Julia wants to sell, Katherine wants to stick to the plan that they agreed to.

Later, Katherine takes Theo to a musicians convention to secure an autograph from his favorite rock star, his dad. With Theo distracted by the green room cake tray, Eddie laments that he has no fans. Katherine reminds him that people are taking time out of their real lives to get his autograph and that’s proof he has a fanbase. Eddie remains unconvinced but he’s grateful to Katherine for bringing Theo. Katherine asks where Eddie’s girlfriend, Anna, is and Eddie admits that she stayed home after an upsetting run-in with her sexually assaulting ex-husband. Katherine apologizes for having overstepped at game night and Eddie admits it was a lot of pressure on Anna to meet the ex-wife. That’s a feeling Katherine can relate to all too well after meeting Greta’s soon-to-be ex-wife earlier.

“Do you remember when our therapist said that when couples are passionate enough to fight, it means they have something to fight for? Well, the way Greta and her ex cared enough to be fighting, it felt like I was looking at two people five minutes away from make-up sex,” Katherine laments. Eddie urges Katherine not to overthink things — as she’s wont to do — and appreciate what she and Greta have together.

When Katherine and Greta reconnect, the tattoo artist is still seething from her encounter with her ex. Greta apologizes if Julia made her feel uncomfortable but Katherine admits that she was discomfited by how much passion clearly still exists between them. Greta corrects her: it’s not passion, it’s resentment. Katherine encourages Greta to let go of this fight and find somewhere else to live but Greta’s reluctant to let Julia win. Katherine reminds her Greta that she gets to makeout with someone that looks like Grace Park so, clearly, she’s the real winner here.

Later, Greta’s searching through real estate listings and thinks she’s found the perfect place nearby…but Katherine’s thinking, maybe Greta should stay a little bit closer. She offers to let Greta stay at her house “for a bit.” The idea gets an enthusiastic endorsement from Theo who’s excited to have someone else to play games with…so, of course, Greta agrees to move in.

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Charmed 406: “The Tallyman Cometh”

Written by Valerie Anne

This week, The Tallyman continues his campaign against the Charmed Ones, saying he’s the wake-up call the magical community needs to see that they’re human justice warriors and only look out for witches, and ignore — or worse, kill — other magical creatures.

While he rallies his troops, the girls cook for Kaela to cheer her up, but it turns out Kaela has a perfectly rosy attitude about all this already. She knows they’re badass witches and that they’ll figure this out, together. Avoidance via optimism, can relate!

The trio gets a package from the Tallyman, and inside is a box with a riddle that doesn’t seem to do anything when they open it. Kaela brings it to the magical guy she’s been flirting with at the Blue Camellia, and when she opens the box he has to cover his ears because the dogwhistle is so loud. A metaphor, they point out, that’s rather on the nose. Once they sing the song it’s playing, they get tickets to “The Tallyman Cometh” and go to his dinner party of doom. There, they realize the spiders aren’t just spy-ders but they’re also bombs. Maggie uses the power of three to access her visions for the first time since Macy died, and sees that the Tallyman is going to target a gathering of magical creatures.

Working together with Kaela’s new beau, they stop the bombs from going off, which causes the Tallyman to throw and actual trantrum that ends in him exploding his own self.

After all is said and done, Kaela admits that she’s been avoiding her feelings about her bio parents and Maggie admits she’s been feeling guilty about Macy and they all agree to talk about their feelings more.

But don’t worry, the Tallyman was just a puppet in the bigger crusade against the Charmed Ones, and their woes aren’t quite over. The bartender still has tricks up her sleeve, and Maggie’s dad has a curse on his heart. I’m sure that’s fine!

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All American 415: “C.R.E.A.M (Cash Rules Everything Around Me)”

Written by Natalie

Last week, Coop suggested that their friend group learn to “sit in the uncomfortable” instead of rushing to try and fix everything but this week, it’s clear that not everyone took that message to heart.

Things between Layla and Patience remain tense…the pair never really resolved their fight from a few weeks back and now, Layla’s taken to hovering over Patience as the release date for her still untitled album draws closer. We’ve already seen this season that Patience doesn’t do well when she feels suffocated so Layla’s persistence strains an already frayed relationship. For her part, Layla worries that Patience isn’t putting in the work: every time she sees Patience, she’s hanging out and doing nothing.

Meanwhile, Coop’s settling into her new gig at the retirement home. She stops by the room of Ms. Maritta, a resident with whom Coop’s developed a bit of a rapport, and finds someone rifling through Maritta’s drawers while she sleeps. Coop threatens to call security but then Ms. Maritta wakes up and greets her granddaughter, Skye. Coop’s clearly still suspicious of Skye’s intentions but she backs off and leaves the pair to catch up. The next day when Coop returns to Ms. Maritta’s room, she’s frantically searching for her emerald earrings that have gone missing. Ms. Maritta’s convinced that they were stolen by one of the other residents but Coop admits that she saw Skye rifling through her things. Ms. Maritta takes umbrage to Coop accusing her favorite granddaughter of stealing from her and tells Coop she doesn’t need any more of her help.

But Coop’s learned the hard way to trust her instincts and stalks Skye’s Instagram for proof of the girl’s treachery, while she’s supposed to be watching Spencer and Jordan’s game with the group. Skye’s IG is filled with the girl in designer dresses and Coop’s convinced that she’s pawning Maritta’s stuff to feed her lavish lifestyle. Asher’s girlfriend, Jaymee — who is just meeting the friend group (including two of Asher’s exes) for the first time — speculates that there’s something else behind Coop’s interest in Skye. It’s an awkward joke and only injects more tension into an already fraught situation…at least for Patience. She tries to escape the tension but Layla interjects, attempting to talk shop, even after Patience asked for a reprieve.

Coop urges Layla to respect Patience’s process and know when to back off, while Asher defends Layla’s interest in doing her job. Coop accuses Asher of only defending Layla because they used to date…which interjects a bit more awkward into Jaymee’s first meeting with the group. But rather than being thrown by the revelation, Jaymee’s amused by it: they live together, they work together, they’re a vortex. At first, everyone takes exception to the comparison but, slowly, they start to all realize it’s applicable. But Coop insists it’s not coloring her view of Skye…she’s just suspicious of her because Skye is a thief. Sure enough, Coop’s suspicions are confirmed when Skye posts a picture of Maritta’s earrings on her IG stories.

Coop heads back to the retirement home to share what she’s discovered with Maritta but Skye’s already there. She admits that she took the earrings but not to do something nefarious: she had the earrings reimagined into a necklace so that her grandmother could wear them more often. Coop apologizes for the misunderstanding but Skye’s just glad her grandmother has someone around who cares about her. She invites Coop to slide into her DMs next time she has a question for her.

Meanwhile, at the post-game celebration, with Layla no longer pressuring her, Patience stumbles on the perfect name for her debut album: “Welcome to the Vortex.” Personally, I still don’t get it, but everyone looks very excited.

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All American: Homecoming 108: “Just a Friend”

Written by Natalie

It’s impossible to imagine a story about college life at an HBCU without incorporating Greek Life. They are an indelible part of the culture. But representing those organizations is a fraught prospect, as the team at Insecure learned last year, so shows are challenged to stay true to the culture while also staying far, far away from misrepresenting any of the Divine Nine. Already, we’ve seen Greek Life at play at Bringston University with JR’s fictional frat, Kappa Epsilon Kappa, but this week, the ladies get a turn, with the introduction of Psi Kappa Zeta.

Both Nathaniel and Thea are aspiring members of the PKZ and volunteer to help out with their upcoming Black & White ball. They’re both recognized by the sorority’s leadership: Thea, thanks to her spot on the tennis team, and Nathaniel because of her past participation in PKZ events. Thea would be a continuation of her family’s legacy — her grandmother was a member of PKZ — but Nathaniel would be forging new ground as one of the sorority’s first non-binary members. After helping decorate for the ball and recruiting Damon to be part of the group’s date auction, Nathaniel feels destined to take a spot on the sorority’s spring line.

But Nathaniel overhears the PKZ girls talking about her involvement in the sorority and how she’d be used, essentially, to fill a quota. Her presence would dispel rumors that the PKZs aren’t LGBTQ-friendly. Nathaniel is uninterested in being in the group for optics and withdraws themselves from consideration. Heartbroken, she cries as she reminds them that they would’ve been lucky to have her as a member.

Nathaniel retreats back to the dorm where she commiserates over ice cream with Thea. One of the girls from PKZ shows up and apologizes for the other’s behavior. She wants to lead a new wave of PKZs — a more inclusive wave — and she’d welcome both Nathaniel and Thea as members.

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NCIS: Hawai’i 119: “Nuture”

Written by Natalie

Recognizing that his friend is still smarting from her break-up with Whistler, the team’s team maven, Ernie, offers Lucy a solution: a session with the Kahuna for Ho’oponopono, the Hawaiian practice of healing and forgiveness. Lucy tells Ernie that she’s fine but Ernie wonders if she could be — or should be — better than fine by now. She thanks him for the gift but it’s not entirely clear that she’ll actually make the appointment. Ernie pushes her again later but when Lucy offers an unpersuasive assurance, he takes a different tact. He wonders aloud what Whistler did to break Lucy’s heart. With every imagined scenario, the heartbreak on Lucy’s face becomes more evident — the tears well in her eyes — until she says his name in response…a quiet plea for him to just stop.

“Lucy, I-I hope none of those things happened to you, but something did, and you’re sad. Really sad,” Ernie acknowledges. “But you’ll be fine. Eventually…I just want you to get there faster.”

After the team solves their case — a weird one about animal smuggling and chemical weapons — Lucy returns to Ernie’s lair to let him know that she’s made an appointment with the Kahuna. And while normal people would be dissuaded from pressing a friend about their painful break-up after witnessing them crying earlier, not Ernie! He persists with one more question and, finally, Lucy opens up…and finally, we get the story of how she and Kate first met. It’s not the flashback episode that I wanted but, hell, I’ll take it.

Turns out, when Lucy met Kate, they were just two strangers at a bar. It wasn’t supposed to be a thing: Kate was only in town for a few days for a meeting. They avoided all the specifics and just enjoyed each other’s company for the two nights and three days that Kate was there. Then, six months later, she walked into HQ…an officer from the DIA, just transferred to Hawai’i. They decided not to complicate things — their work relationship was still so new, after all — and opted against rekindling their relationship.

“Was that hard?” Ernie asks.

“You’ve seen her. What do you think?” Lucy answers. Oomph. It’s all so deliciously angsty…and it manages to answer a lot of the questions I had about their history…I can’t wait to see what the rest of this season brings.

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Top Chef: Houston 1908: “Restaurant Wars”

Written by Natalie

So let’s take a step back for a second: during the 17th All-Stars season, the winning team of Restaurant Wars was led by an out gay man. Then, during the show’s 18th season, the winning team of Restaurant Wars was led by an out gay woman. And this year, during the show’s 19th season, the winning team of Restaurant Wars was — spoiler alert! — also led by an out gay woman. This cursory examination of Top Chef history proves to me that you can’t win Restaurant Wars — the second most coveted victory during a Top Chef season (falling closely behind actually being the Top Chef) — without gays leading your team. That’s just science. Go Gays!

But let’s step back and recap how Ashleigh Shanti managed to score her first elimination win of the season.

The chefs forego a quickfire challenge this week and jump straight into the elimination challenge. Padma shows up with a knife block but instead of leaving teams to chance, the knives just assign the captains — in this case, Nick and Jae — who subsequently get to choose the members of their team. It’s at the point, I think, that the game is won: Jae’s first two picks are the chefs that have been most successful in the competition (Evelyn and Jackson) but Nick focuses on selecting the chefs whose cooking styles compliment his own (DeMarr and Ashleigh). Buddha also ends up on Nick’s team…and though he isn’t skilled in Southern cuisine, he’s proven to be adaptable…so Team Nick is off to a great start.

The chefs have 36 hours to bring their restaurant concept to fruition and things just fall into place seamlessly for Ashleigh’s team. Buddha volunteers to handle the front of the house responsibilities given that he’s not as familiar with Southern cuisine. DeMarr suggests dishes that pay homage to the women in the chef’s lives — dubbing the restaurant “Matriac” — and, given that focus, recommends that Ashleigh handle the Executive Chef duties.

“All I know is restaurants but in Asheville, North Carolina, people don’t typically come to my city to eat. Even though I’ve been on the James Beard list, I was getting comments in my dining room that it was too spicy and I started to feel like my food was unapproachable,” Ashleigh admits. “Being deemed the Executive Chef and playing such a big role in the creation of our restaurant, I feel like I can be me.”

Ashleigh thrives in the role. In addition to putting her stamp on Matriac’s appearance and handling expediting in the back of the house, she delivers two dishes of her own: a salmon tartare with buttermilk pearls, shaved fennel and peaches and gumbo z’herbes with red rice and seasoning meat. Though there’s a bit of a bottleneck with the salmon tartare, Ashleigh keeps a level head and service goes swimmingly. At Judges Table, Tom compliments the team for producing a restaurant in 36 hours that felt like had existed for months…they ran like a well-oiled machine. Ashleigh’s gumbo, in particular, earns rave reviews and Tom asserts that Leah Chase — one of the martriachs of Southern and Creole Cuisine — would’ve been proud.

The team pockets $40k and, perhaps more importantly, Ashleigh comes out of the challenge more confident in her own food. Let’s hope that’s a harbinger of good things to come!

Boobs On Your Tube: “Naomi” Continues to Defy Superhero TV Expectations

Drew just finished up her second year at Sundance, and she’s got reviews galore and also a recap of all the gayness; don’t miss ’em! Also, this week, Valerie Anne reviewed The Legend of Vox Machina and recapped an all new Legends of Tomorrow. Heather recapped a truly unhinged episode of And Just Like That. Nic took a trip to Lesbos with the queers of Batwoman. Kayla reviewed Archive 81. Analyssa reviewed Single Drunk Female. Drew recapped Euphoria and Drag Race. Riese ran down 18 shows to watch if you’re missing Yellowjackets. And Carmen wrote the most quickly popular post in the history of our website, about Golden Girls.

Notes from the TV Team:

+ Even when a special assignment forces them to work together this week, it’s clear: easy reunion is not in the cards for Lucy Tara and Kate Whitsler on NCIS: Hawai’i . Apologies are dismissed and boundaries reasserted. That said, the impact of the heartbreak is evident…with Tara taking out her hurt on little ol’ ladies in the coffee line and Kate being a bit more helpful to the team than usual. — Natalie

+ grown-ish returned from its midseason hiatus this week and the Cal U crew are counting down the days until graduation. But first, Nomi has to contend with the fact that her baby’s father is back in LA area and maybe, possibly might want a relationship with Luna. — Natalie

+ Last weeek on The Young and the Restless, Tessa got down on one knee and proposed to her longtime (in soap years) girlfriend, Mariah. This week, Mariah returned the favor, getting down on one knee and proposing to Tessa. As beautiful as the moment was, I was annoyed that it recalled a past that the audience had never been privy too. Plus, Mariah just carried another woman’s baby for nine months, now she has to deal with her crybaby brother? C’mon. — Natalie

+ I’m still slowly making my way through Letterkenny (trying to hoard the joy) and Tannis is pretty into her girlfriend, even asking Wayne to cover Zamboni duty so she can zam-bone her. Also Mrs. McMurray aka Melanie Scrofano returned to try to get Gail to flinch at her tales of a threesome with her husband and a woman they met once but Gail’s only qualms are with the third wheel wearing her socks during sex. I appreciate the random bits of queerness they sprinkle into this silly little Canadian show. — Valerie Anne

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Claws 408: “Chapter Eight: Reckoning”

Written by Natalie

The walls are closing in on Desna Sims: she’s promised $100k — that she still has to scrape together — to Quiet Ann and discovered that her boyfriend — the guy who she brought into the fold — is DEA and he’s already arrested one of her Claws Up consultants. But just when Desna thinks things can’t get any worse, it does.

First, her boyfriend tries to lure her into a scheme to sell large qualities of oxy and heroin to a friend of his who works on the dark web. Thankfully Desna susses out that the meeting’s a set-up — the “friend” is also a DEA agent — and she doesn’t commit to anything. Then, her second in command, Jen, overdoses on oxy in the salon bathroom.

Meanwhile, Ann’s not-so-patiently waiting for her money. Cherry tries to make space in Ann’s new life for herself but Ann puts the kibosh on that: she has to do this on her own. In the grand lesbian tradition, Ann offers to stay friends but Cherry just walks away. Now, while I appreciate seeing queer romance on my screen as much as anyone but, honestly, I’m not sure why Ann’s relationship with Cherry (or Dr. Ken’s relationship with Selena) needed to take up valuable screentime during Claws‘ final season if it was going to end so abruptly.

But you know does want to stay friends with Ann? Uncle Daddy. The Palmetto gangster arrives as Cherry’s leaving with an apology for his behavior. He urges Ann not to believe the lunatic rantings of her kidnapper. He admits that he’s had ill intentions towards others but never her and invites her to rejoin their partnership. But Ann stays firm: she’s packing up all her stuff and leaving town tomorrow. He begrudgingly accepts Ann’s response but when he’s visited again by his dead wife’s ghost, it’s clear that Uncle Daddy’s obsession with Ann’s fetus isn’t quite over yet.

Jen’s overdose leads to a reunion of the original Nail Artisans crew and, suffice to say, it does not go well. It is, however, hilarious because as Jen starts to regain consciousness, she imagines the girls as puppets. Puppet Ann telling Puppet Desna that “your ego is as big as those felt titties” had me laughing so hard, I cried. Once Jen fully wakes up, everything returns to normal and the girls start to turn on each other: Jen (and Virginia) want out of the game and out of their toxic friendships.

Ann leaves with Desna to collect her $100k and, as they’re driving from bank to bank, Desna admits that she lost sight of what was important. Ann acknowledges that Desna’s driving force has always been protecting and taking care of everyone else. In that vein, Desna alerts Ann to the DEA’s investigation. The news means that everything Ann’s done to escape has been for naught and Ann walks away (literally) with nothing.

Well, not nothing…she’s still got information which she takes straight to Tony and the DEA for an immunity deal.

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Naomi 103: “Zero to Sixty”

Written by Natalie

Naomi stands out among the CW’s other slate of comic book superhero shows. Through three episodes, there’s no badass supersuit, the show’s most menacing “villains” are the town’s used car salesman and the military stationed and there have been no elaborate, beautifully choreographed, fight scenes. Instead, the show hems close to the first season of the comics: focusing on Naomi uncovering the details of her existence and grappling with the realization that almost everything she thought she knew was a lie. She’s starting to train with Dee — it has a very Daniel/Mr. Miyagi vibe — so that she can learn to harness her powers but the show hasn’t even really shown us what those powers are (the result of her bridge jump from the second episode, for example, is never shown).

Which is all to say that watching Naomi — at least right now — means adjusting your expectations for what a superhero show should be…and enjoying the Scooby Doo gang mystery solving. This isn’t a superhero show, yet, it’s an origin story.

This week’s episode did bring two interesting developments: first, we learn more about Lourdes. After a random accident while on tour overseas, Lourdes was forced to drop out of school and help support her family. She’s still working towards her GED, though, and her old counselor at Port Oswego High urges her to keep college on the radar. So this week, when Naomi and her classmates skip out on a college tour to analyze the disk Naomi swiped from the aforementioned used car salesman, Lourdes is there to join them…to Naomi’s great delight and to Nathan’s consternation.

The disk turns out to be a fake — a transmutation, conjured from nothing — and explodes the college’s lab. The stunt gets Naomi in trouble with her parents who insist that she be home by 6PM. Of course, Naomi devotes her time to tracking down more information about the disk and misses her curfew. Her parents confront her when she gets home and she pretends she was with Lourdes getting help with her college essay. Only thing? She makes the rookie mistake of not telling Lourdes to cover for her and gets caught in a lie.

Later, Lourdes climbs through Naomi’s window with an apology (however unnecessary), some help with her college and some Zatanna comic books. She points out a storyline from the comic where Zatanna used a fire to conceal the artifact and wonders if the same thing happened with Naomi’s disk. Lourdes’ insight proves to be spot on so, instead of worrying about the disk she lost, Naomi focuses on decoding the disk she had by tracking down the translation key and comparing it to the picture.

The second interesting that happens in this episode? The debut of Akira AKA Stephanie March AKA ADA Alex Cabot. I know I said there weren’t any badass supersuits in Naomi yet but, on second thought, maybe the leather dress Akira’s wearing when we first meet her should qualify.

So far, we’re only getting small pieces of Akira’s story: she had a partnership with the aforementioned used car salesman, Zumbado, but he betrayed her. Now, though, he wants her help to harness Naomi’s powers and take back their planet.

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New Amsterdam 414: “…Unto the Breach”

Written by Natalie

The title of this week’s episode is a reference to that famed soliloquy from Henry V as the King beseeches his troops to fight back against the French…”Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more.” But for Lauren Bloom, the willingness to fight…the strength to head back into the breach…is waning. In the light of a new day, last week’s offer to resign — so that Leyla might continue her residency at New Amsterdam — seems less like a gift to her ex and more like Lauren’s gift to herself.

The pressure on Dr. Bloom amps up this week: with the memorial service for Dr. Kapoor, with the return of familiar faces to New Amsterdam — Casey, Max and Helen, most notably — and with the admittance of an overdose patient into the ED: Rohan, Dr. Kapoor’s son. Realizing that Rohan won’t survive another episode, Bloom induces a coma to buy herself some time to come up with a treatment solution.

Lauren escapes outside to get a coffee and some fresh air and Leyla finds her. In the time since we saw Leyla last, she’s gone from, “I can’t work with you, Lauren” to “I can handle you being here, us working together”…or at least, that’s what she says in an effort to make Lauren stay at New Amsterdam. Understandably, Leyla doesn’t want to be the reason Lauren leaves New Amsterdam but she doesn’t recognize how fragile Lauren is in this moment so, everything Leyla says — the ED depends on her, her patients will suffer without her, etc. — pushes Bloom closer to her breaking point.

She returns to Rohan’s bedside and Leyla updates her on his prognosis. Bloom orders a treatment and Leyla rushes out to get it, leaving Lauren alone with Rohan. She recognizes his symptoms and digs through his belongings and fishes out the pills she knew would be there. She pauses a minute, to consider what to do, then slips the pills into her pocket. When Rohan’s blood pressure spikes, she stops Leyla from delivering a potential deadly dose of beta blockers. Rohan’s tox screen what Lauren already knows: he overdosed on amphetamines.

Later, Lauren finally has a quiet moment and Helen asks how she is. Lauren fishes the pills out of her pocket and hands them to Helen. She admits that the hospital is threatening her sobriety and her sanity and confesses that she wants to leave…that she needs to leave…but, seemingly, everyone else needs her to stay. Helen notes that putting everyone’s needs above her own doesn’t seem fair but Lauren doesn’t think she deserves fairness. Helen urges her to stop punishing herself for whatever she did and just forgive herself.

“If you need to leave for your sobriety and for your sanity, then you go. Do you understand?” Helen beseeches. “Because nothing is more important.”

The message feels like it penetrates but when Fuentes confronts her about her resignation, Bloom relents and opts to stay. But since Fuentes is determined to punish Lauren for her involvement in “the resistance” — thanks, Floyd, for outing her — she accepts the resignation anyway.

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Nancy Drew 312: “The Witch Tree Symbol”

Written by Valerie Anne

The trouble with Temperance is growing as we approach the Season 3 finale, and she’s doing her best to keep the Drew Crew at bay. For example, hexing the children at the youth center to keep Nick from telling Nancy what she’s up to.

Bess eventually figures it out because she’s clever but it makes the hex worse so they call Nancy for help. Now that they know Temperance’s reasons for wanting to find all the pieces of her daughter’s soul isn’t as motivated by motherly love as they thought, they have to play catch-up to stop her. They realize that she’s been up to no good for a long time, including sending people to the liminal space all willy nilly.

But they also know that Nancy is valuable to her, as a living descendant, so when they realize the hex can only be transferred, and that only Temperance can end it, Nancy tells Bess to transfer all the kids’ hexes to her. Sure enough, as soon as Temperance senses the shift, she undoes the hex, but she’s feeling pretty damn confident about her plan since she was on her way to use the Copperhead to collect another heart aka another piece of her daughter’s soul.

Later, when Bess is doing research about Temperance’s endgame and not loving what she sees, Nick calls her and asks her to tell Addy to take over the youth center. He’s crying and says he needs to rethink everything and frankly I am worried about him! Maybe the Drew Crew should all move into a house together to keep an eye on each other.

This feeling is solidified by the fact that the next descendent of Charity’s lover, the next keeper of Charity’s soul, is Ace. Which also begs the question; is it kismet or something more powerful that is drawing Ace and Nancy together? Only time will tell!

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4400 110: “Give Up The Ghost”

Written by Shelli Nicole

We open on Jharrel being held in an interrogation room (and lowkey being tortured because they are playing a bunch of noises at high volumes) by Jessica, who confesses that his brother isn’t missing but that they have him.

Keisha meets up with Soraya but not for another date, she’s seeking help to find out exactly where the government has been keeping Jharrel. Soraya pretends she doesn’t know and offers to put her tech expert skills to use. Later on, Jharrel has figured out that they in fact don’t have Manny. Soraya interviews him and he officially learns she is a double agent. She pulls a move to show that maybe he can trust her and in the end they let him go. Turns out Jharrel was right all along, and it was his brother leaving him signs at the hotel, and technically — he is one of the 4400. In a flashback we see them having a conversation, Manny steps out, and while Jharrel is looking away a green light flashes behind him.

Elsewhere, Claudette is worried about the safety of the 4400 and Mildred is back — she’s a wanted woman since her stunt on the TV and has been in hiding ever since! Claudette takes her in and is surprised to learn that her powers are gone and that The Rev was the one who “took” them. Claudette thinks a makeover will help her blend while she’s on the run, but it causes Mildred to have a traumatic response as it triggers her thinking about being tested on in Ypsi Med, and it seems like she was also tested on in her time period too. Later on, Claudette shares her own story about fighting back and Mildred lets her give her the makeover after all. They then decide to make her the face of the 4400 who they want to inspire to fight back against those who are harming them.

Shanice and Doc are in bed, where she is spiraling because she wants to do right by everyone left in the hotel now that they are no longer under the government’s watch (well, you know). Then they have a tender moment where she talks about being thankful that her powers are gone, which is interrupted by a call from her daughter who sees the two of them in bed. She doesn’t seem to take issue with the two of them dating, and confesses to having a crush herself — on Mildred! They have a cute lil’ mom and daughter moment that made me pretty happy. She also offers to help set up a go fund me style page for the 4400 to help with the upkeep of the hotel and everyone in it.

There is a big storm outside and the government uses it as an opportunity to screw with the folks inside the hotel and cut their power, causing Keisha to be locked in an elevator with The Rev. After she calms him from a panic attack using skills she learned from her ex-girlfriend, Rev asks if she’s gay. Before he starts preaching to her (he literally says he has a problem not with the sinner but the sin) she cuts him off. He confesses he hasn’t reached out to his son because he’s gay and Keisha basically tells him to stop letting an old book get in the way of a relationship. Then with the help of Doc & Shanice’s ex-husband (who have a cute little bromance going on), they are rescued. Perfect timing too cause Keisha was not having any of The Rev’s chat about being gay.

We end the episode with Jharrel using all the clues Manny has left him, which lead to a room in the hotel. Manny suddenly appears (perhaps he has the power of invisibility?) and we get another nod to Detroit when Jharrel asks his long-lost brother with a smile —“What up doe lil’ bro?”

Boobs On Your Tube: “Queens” Gives Us The Best Coming Out Speech in Years

We’ve been busy this week, friends! Natalie reviewed The CW’s Naomi (which is queer), Carmen reviewed Peacemaker (in which Danielle Brooks plays a lesbian), and Drew reviewed Mars One (which is now at Sundance). Recaps? You know it! Drew did Drag Race and Euphoria, Valerie Anne did Legends of Tomorrow, Nic did Batwoman, Heather did And Just Like That, and Kayla brought us home with Yellowjackts. She also made you a lil quiz so you can know which Yellowjackets characters you are! Plus a Style Thief to dress like Taissa. Here’s what else happened!

Notes from the TV Team:

+ Tien Tran plays a lesbian named — wait for it — Ellen, on How I Met Your Father, which landed on Hulu this week. I need to write a full review of it, but I’m going to watch a couple more episodes to see if it gets any better. — Heather

+ In the meantime, the best sitcom on TV right now is Abbott Elementary, which isn’t gay yet, but your fave Brittani Nichols is in the writers room and their first episode is next week! — Heather

+ On Home Economics this week, Connor is helping Sarah and Denise declutter their apartment, which leads to a funny sight gag when he finds their, ahem, toy box in the bedroom. — Carmen

+ Naomi continues to be a highlight of my week even if the romantic storyline takes a backseat to Naomi’s realization and exploration of who she truly is (that ending, tho!). That said, the highlight of this episode came when Lourdes shows up to rescue Naomi and her friends after their car breaks down. Naomi thanks her and Lourdes responds, “You know I’m always happy to get a text from you.” The flirty tone of her voice, the way she glances at Naomi… Anthony and Nathan witness it and glance quickly each other, realizing that they’ve got more competition for Naomi’s heart. — Natalie

+ I haven’t been thrilled about the storylines for Tessa and Mariah on The Young and the Restless in a very long time — mostly because their storylines don’t actually center their characters — but there was a noteworthy development this week: the couple got engaged! Mariah and Tessa have been together since they reunited in 2020… which is like an eternity in soap years. If Tessa and Mariah make it to the altar — which with Mariah’s brother/Tessa’s ex making heart eyes at Tessa all the time, isn’t a foregone conclusion — it’ll be the first lesbian wedding on American daytime television, I think, since Bianca and Reese got married on All My Children in 2009. — Natalie

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Claws 407: “Chapter Seven: Ascension”

Written by Natalie

When I started recapping Claws for Autostraddle, I had to periodically remind myself what kind of show this was and adjust my expectations. This wasn’t a “female Breaking Bad,” it was its own thing: a soapy crime drama that oozed camp. But while I came to expect the most Florida things from Claws — especially when it comes to Uncle Daddy — this season’s writing has been disappointing. The show meanders from one plot point to another, neglecting the show’s history…whether that history happened a few seasons ago or a few episodes ago. It’s been frustrating to watch.

This week, Ann confronts Virginia about letting the details of Uncle Daddy’s cruise ship deal slip to Desna. Her anger’s understandable, I suppose — Desna’s move prolongs Ann’s stay in Palmetto — but when you consider that the two crews have been trading secrets all season — Ann did this exact thing with Polly — it’s hard to imagine Ann being truly surprised the “betrayal.” Virginia warns Ann that her involvement with the beat down of the “Claws Up” consultants means that Desna’s coming for her but Ann assures her former colleague that she’s not scared.

While Desna’s plotting her revenge, Ann, Bryce and Uncle Daddy toast her downfall at the Underground and strategize new ways to expand their reach. Ann cuts the strategy session short, though, as she leaves in search of baby supplies. Uncle Daddy gleefully ushers her out, reminding Ann that “ain’t nothing in the whole world more important than our baby.” Ann raises an eyebrow to Uncle Daddy’s use of the word “our” but doesn’t confront him about it. Later, though, Bryce comes to understand the full scope of Uncle Daddy’s obsession: he proclaims “the little bundle of joy that’s in Quiet Ann’s belly” will inherit his throne and nothing else matters. Angry about being “passed over for a fetus,” Bryce loses it and hitches his truck up to Ann’s trailer with Ann still inside.

Bryce takes his kidnapping victim to Desna’s and she talks him out of his plan to kill Ann. She urges Bryce to see the bigger picture: now, they have everything Uncle Daddy wants. She approaches Ann with an offer: return to the crew, only this time as a 50-50 partner. But as much as Ann wants out of Palmghetto, she refuses to work for Desna ever again and rejects her flat out. Desna leaves Ann to reconsider her generous offer or else be forced to deal with Bryce. Later, Desna returns with a counteroffer: $100k for Ann to cash out of the game. When Uncle Daddy storms in, anxious to reclaim what’s his — Ann and her baby — Ann relents and accepts Desna’s offer. Ann pushes Uncle Daddy to just go home… and while the gangster retreats, for now, he promises he’ll be back to claim his revenge.

For a moment, Desna thinks she’s won — Bryce in her corner, Ann gone and Uncle Daddy’s operation in shambles — and rushes to reunite with the “Claws Up” consultants. But the moment is short-lived because she spots DEA agents loading her former consultant into a car…and worse? The delivery man she’s been shtupping and spilling secrets to? He’s a DEA agent too.

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NCIS: Hawai’i 111: “The Game”

Written by Natalie

Though few procedurals center around a relationship, the NCIS franchise has been good about injecting some personal drama into its stories. There was Ziva and Tony on the OG show, Kensi and Deeks on the LA version and, on the New Orleans edition, the “will they, won’t they” of Chris and Sonja and, later, Hannah’s relationship with Quentin. Seeing a lesbian couple follow in those footsteps… it felt like a big deal… so I got invested. It didn’t help that Kate was played by Tori Anderson who I’d been hoping to play gay since she was Kate Crawford on Blindspot.

Clearly, though, I was setting myself up for a fall.

It all started lovely enough… just two gal pals sitting out on balcony, enjoying a delicious cup of fair trade coffee, a gorgeous view and some comfortable silence. Or at least Lucy tries to convince herself it’s comfortable when, really, she’s desperate to fill the empty space. Kate grabs Lucy’s hand, offering a gentle assurance that she’s happy too, but then turns back to the messages on her phone. As Lucy rambles, she slips and drops the “L Word,” though Kate’s so wrapped up in what she’s doing, it’s not clear that she heard Lucy say it. But things shift abruptly between the pair and suddenly, they’re parting ways (with a kiss!) and promising to touch base later about dinner plans.

Lucy doesn’t touch base with Kate and instead, shows up at Kate’s doorstep later, excited about her upcoming undercover assignment. She’s greeted by Cara, “Whistler’s girlfriend from DC.” Shocked, Lucy tries to make a quick retreat, breaking an usually tense moment, but Kate follows closely behind trying to explain. She assures Lucy that it’s not what it looks like — “people always say that in the movies and it is, in fact, always what it looks like,” Lucy retorts — but Kate’s defense is just that she didn’t know Cara was coming. Kate begs Lucy to stay so she can explain what happened but Lucy heads over to her undercover gig.

Things go awry while Lucy’s undercover and Kate, who stopped by HQ in hopes of explaining herself, paces the floor awaiting word on her (other?) girlfriend. When Ernie and Jane realize that someone else at the party is working with their bad guy, Kate jumps into action to vet the rest of the attendees. She discovers the identity of the other culprit and the team comes running. Turns out, though, Lucy doesn’t need their help: she disarms and defeats the culprit on her own. When word arrives at HQ that Lucy’s okay, Kate breathes a huge sigh of relief and leaves to await Lucy’s return.

Lucy finds Whistler sitting at her desk and the confrontation she’s been avoiding finally happens. After discovering Cara at her apartment, Lucy realized why Kate worked so hard to keep their relationship a secret. Kate assures Lucy that that’s not true and corrects the record: she and Cara were dating but she ghosted her when she left DC for Hawai’i. Kate assumed things would fizzle out — which seems reasonable given that they were almost 5,000 miles apart and (presumably) not talking at all — and admits that she was blindsided by Cara’s appearance. Kate admits that she also didn’t see this thing between her and Lucy developing as it had…and once she realized how much she cared for Lucy, she worried about the impact telling Lucy about Cara would have on their relationship. She assures Lucy that she’s broken things off with Cara for good now but it’s too little, too late.

“There are a lot of chances — bets, really — that I’m willing to take, [but] you’re no longer one of them,” Lucy responds, breaking Kate’s heart and mine.

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New Amsterdam 413: “Family”

Written by Natalie

This week’s episode of New Amsterdam was truly a standout for Freema Agyeman (Helen Sharpe) and Sandra Mae Frank (Elizabeth Wilder) as they grappled with family issues, but for Lauren Bloom, the question remained: what to do about her chosen family. She’s tried everything and still hasn’t heard from Leyla and wonders what she should do next. Bloom asks Dr. Reynolds for some advice and he stalls. Lauren realizes that he knows something and tries to press him for more information but is interrupted by an emergency rolling into the ED.

The doctors treat victims of a car accident, the parents of a 4 month old baby girl (Tiya) rushing to get their child to the hospital. While nothing seems immediately wrong with the baby but the mother is certain that something is seriously wrong: ten years ago, they had a child who cried the same way just before he died. Labs on the baby all come back normal but the little girl has a seizure and Lauren redoubles her efforts to find the cause. Since she can’t run individual tests for genetic disorders — the baby doesn’t have enough blood — Lauren decides to sequence the baby’s DNA. Reminded of Bloom’s dogged persistence, Reynolds relents and admits that Leyla came to see him for a recommendation. Unfortunately, he can’t give Bloom any insight on what Leyla’s future plans are.

Once Bloom gets the DNA sequencing back from the lab, she’s challenge to find the disorder to match Tiya’s genetic profile. Only thing? New Amsterdam doesn’t have any DNA-sorting software so she and her residents are forced to do the entire thing by hand. It looks impossible — there are hundreds of pages of DNA sequences and disorders to sift through — but people step up and embody Max Goodwin’s spirit: “how can I help?” Miraculously, though, they find their needle in a haystack and order the treatment to ensure Tiya will live a normal life. Unfortunately, the baby will have to live without her father, whose injuries from the accident proved too severe. Reynolds is able to buy the father some time, though…so he gets to spend time with his daughter and know he died saving her life.

Later, Leyla returns to Floyd’s office and Lauren is there waiting for her. Furious, Leyla lashes out at Lauren for not respecting the boundaries she’s set. Lauren understands and admits what she’s done wrong and is prepared to live with the regret of losing Leyla for the rest of her life. What Lauren isn’t prepared for, though, is to see Leyla give up her career: her residency slot is still available. Leyla refuses because she can’t work with Lauren but she won’t have to…Lauren’s atoning for her sin in the only way she can: she’s leaving New Amsterdam.

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Queens 110-111: “Nasty Girl Records” & “I’m A Slave 4 U”

Written by Carmen

We’re catching up on the last two weeks of Queens today, but really I can sum up what will grip you and stay with you long after you ever expected for a soapy (and a overdramatic) hip hop musical on ABC, in just one paragraph. In “Nasty Girl Records” Naturi Naughton gave the performance of her career, when Jill finally confronts her homophobic father, the root of so much of her internalized homophobia.

Jill’s father is in town visiting and Jill, who’s been wrestling more and more what it means to be a woman of faith and also be gay, is spending time with him — even though the other Queens warn her that his conditional love ain’t no kind of love at all. What’s most stunning is watching Naturi become a smaller version of the Jill we’ve come to know, become Daddy’s Little Girl and shrink in his presence.

Anyway, it turns out that Daddy is an alcoholic, which Jill — a vet of her own addictions — wants to help him through. In his drunk stuper, he’s so kind to her. He tells her that he was proud after her BET coming out performance; that he’s so happy that she’s happy. Of course Jill is floating!!! That kind of recognition? That’s all she’s wanted. But the next day, she returns to his hotel room and now that he’s sober, he’s gone cold again. Mean. Blaming her for her homosexuality. And that’s what leads to the performance I can’t stop talking about! Naturi, tears brimming her eyes, lets him have it:

You don’t love me because you can’t. Because you don’t love yourself. I’m not sure that you even love God, or if you just love the fact that you can use the Bible to justify the hate in your heart.

I love God. I have that in my heart, which is why I keep coming back to you, hoping you’ll be different! Hoping that you will finally accept me for who I am. That’s love. That is God. You know, I have been fighting for your approval my whole life, but after 40 years I don’t even want it. I’m done. I’m proud of who I am. I’m Jill Da Thrill, the rapping lesbian who is worthy of unconditional love, and if you won’t give it to me, then you can go to hell!

Amen.

(In the week’s episode, Jill tries to save a Sabrina the Teenage Witch type ex-child star in a story that’s half Hannah Montana and half #FreeBritney. HAhahaaa Damn I hope this show never changes.)

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Nancy Drew 311: “The Spellbound Juror”

Written by Valerie Anne

This week Bess’s gal pal is MIA so instead she helps her friends out with her newfound positive outlook on love. She helps George move out of Nick’s apartment and reminds her that scar tissue is tough and she’ll make it through. She also encourages Ace to tell Nancy about his feelings for her and let HER decide if he’s a better fit for her than Detective Park is.

Ace almost flaps her new positivity by bringing up the soul splitter since they might need to use it again on Charity, reminding Bess of losing Odette, but she will not be swayed back to Team Love Is A Lie that easily.

Bess also leaks that Carson is dating the opposing counsel to help with the case Nick is infiltrating a jury for, because I guess in small towns they kind of wave their hands about conflict of interest and let Carson’s daughter’s best friend/ex-boyfriend be on the jury of the case he’s trying. Sure! It works out because Nick ends up being an awesome juror (Tunji Kasim once again knocking it out of the park with a powerful monologue)

In a final attempt to get Ace to tell Nancy how he feels, she tells him, “Love is painful and messy and stupid, but beautiful and perfect and worth it.” And that means a lot coming from someone who fell in love with the ghost who shared residency with her best friend’s body and then had to be released into the ether at her own hand.

And so Ace does take her advice and tells Nancy how he feels, but we’ll have to see how Cupid Bess’s plans worked out next week, because Papa Ryan interrupted before Nancy could respond.

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4400 109: “Great Expectations”

Written by Shelli Nicole

4400 are back and we are in the aftermath of Mildred showing the world that they had special powers. Those that signed the conservatorship papers had them activated. They are being heavily guarded at the hotel and essentially being prepped to be medically experimented on whenever the government wants to — and they also set up a tip line for anyone to call in and basically snitch on the 4400. Jharrel is heavily invested in the idea that his brother who went missing before the 4400 arrived is hiding amongst them — then he gets fired by Jessica. Later on, he is arrested in his brother’s old apartment (where Claudette now lives but she’s out of town) right after connecting the dots that his brother has in fact been sending him messages!

Elsewhere, Doc and Soraya connect and are using the computer LaDonna built to find patient files — side note: Fawzia Mirza makes a guest appearance as Soraya’s mom in a very cute phone call about wanting her daughter to find love! Later on, Doc and Shanice sneak out of the hotel to have a chat and get fresh air. They are seen by one of the guards from the hotel and just as he is about to call them out, someone runs into him and causes him to fall and hurt his leg. Doc heals him, even though Shanice warns him not to out of fear of being seen, and then the two of them head back to the hotel. We learn that The Reverend’s power is, well, taking away the powers of others with his touch. He did it with Mildred by mistake but Shanice asks him to do it for her purposely and he succeeds.

Keisha and Jessica finally talk about how they have opposing opinions on how the government is handling the 4400 (and a bit about their breakup) and Keisha quits. Shanice and the Reverend manage to get the hotel approved and turned into a sanctuary and the government has to leave and is upset about it — but it actually all part of their plan. Later on, Soraya and Jessica meet up in a park where Soraya hands over the patient files she found earlier on a flash drive and we learn they are working together — Soraya is a double agent?!

Boobs on Your Tube: “Nancy Drew” Is Back With Shenanigans and Queer Kissing

What a week! Batwoman and Legends of Tomorrow and Euphoria and RuPaul’s Drag Race came back to us, and Nic and Valerie and Drew recapped those gay gay gaynesses! Miranda’s descent into full-blown queerness continued on And Just Like That, and Heather was on top of it like a Che Diaz. Yellowjackets continued to be batshit insane, and Kayla was there to unpack it and also wonder how much of what’s happening on that island is real and how much of it is supernatural? Himani reviewed Sort Of. Drew reviewed the most recent season of Search Party. By popular request, we unspooled Natalie’s Vigil recaps and made them into their own post. And Kayla and Drew got together to talk about the original Matrix trilogy.

Notes from the TV Team:

+ A Naomi standalone post is on the way, first thing tomorrow! — Natalie

+ I’m sorry if I missed anything gay on Queens or Home Economics but I had some personal emergencies and will be back on it next week. — Carmen

+ Still no sign of Leyla on New Amsterdam but we did get hope of a forthcoming reunion: one of the residents gives Lauren an address for Leyla this week. Also? Bloom treats a patient this week whose Knick fandom is actually killing him…and, as a long suffering NC State fan, I can totally relate. — Natalie

+ I’ve only watched the first few episodes of the newest season of Letterkenny so far but it seems we have another queer woman on the scene. Maybe everyone is gay in Letterkenny! Maybe everyone is gay in Canada! Only time will tell. — Valerie Anne

+ I liked the movie The Suicide Squad to give the show Peacemaker a shot and it’s basically like if The Boys was DC canon in that it’s severely lacking in Harley Quinn (aka there is zero Harley Quinn) and very bam! pow! and like…purposefully offensive? That said, I’m not hating it so far. Viola Davis does make a brief appearance reprising her role as Amanda Waller and, most importantly, Danielle Brooks plays queer and has a wife played by queer actress Elizabeth Faith Ludlow, and that’s the kind of bam! pow! I’m into. — Valerie Anne

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Claws 406: “Chapter Six: Greed”

Written by Natalie

The friendship between Quiet Ann and Uncle Daddy — however unlikely — has been one of my favorite aspects of Claws‘ fourth season. But with Ann eyeing a quick exit (and just four episodes of Claws left), it seemed inevitable that things between them would eventually go awry…but like this? I did not expect it and I’m worried that Quiet Ann won’t see the betrayal coming either. It’s an odd turn for Ann — who earned the moniker “Quiet Ann” because she would just sit in the cut watching everyone else — but she refuses to let anything distract her from bringing her escape plan to fruition.

Including, apparently, a half naked woman.

Cherry strides out of Ann’s trailer wearing only a baseball jersey and suggests plans for getting tickets for a show in a few months. A simple gesture between gal pals but also a clear overture that Cherry plans to be around in a few months. Ann doesn’t acknowledge the overture at all and dismisses the offer as a distraction from her escape plan. Over the next 10 weeks, Ann reveals, she wants to clear her criminal record (which she does thanks to the skills of a 13 year old hacker) and bank enough cash from fentanyl sales to get out of Palmghetto. Undeterred, Cherry offers Ann a way to speed up the cash grab and invites herself along to wherever Ann’s going next. Ann takes a sip from her cup of Hetero tears and looks intrigued.

Cherry gives Ann and Uncle Daddy a path to a new customer base: providing fentanyl patches to all the cruises ships that dock in the port. She connects them to the health inspector — a guy Cherry used to date and who buys patches from her now — who agrees to get their patches aboard the ships. But just as Uncle Daddy is closing the deal, he collapses. While incapacitated, Uncle Daddy dreams of his late wife, Juanda, who urges him to secure his legacy. His plan to do that? Not training Bryce to be a better manager or getting Roller back in Palmetto or getting his grandchildren back…no, to secure his legacy, Uncle Daddy’s going to steal Ann’s baby.

Realizing that securing his legacy later means securing the bag now, Uncle Daddy redoubles his efforts to destroy Desna’s business, especially once he hears that she’s snaked his deal with the cruise ships. He and his henchman beat down all the Claws Up consultants leaving Des with no one to sell her product.

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Nancy Drew 310: “The Confession of the Long Night”

Written by Valerie Anne

The Drew Crew is back! And jumping right into shenanigans!

Bess is still trying to play nice with Temperance (who is still in Charity’s body) and helps her pick out a dress for their candle ceremony. The Drew Crew still can’t find Ace but they all assume there’s a good reason for it, even though you’d think by now they had some kind of “not kidnapped/haven’t turned into a ghost/currently in the regular plane of reality” daily check-in.

Bess is stressed about the Temperance situation and Addy is being so understanding. She realizes Bess is being literal when she calls Temperance a witch, and Bess is surprised she hasn’t bolted, but Addy responds with a kiss and reminds Bess that “interesting is hot.”

At the party, in an attempt to find out what Temperance is up to, Bess uses a truth spell on her, but ends up dousing the whole party, causing about as much mayhem as you’d expect. She says, “I’ve been outfoxed” which is hilarious since she’s talking about Olivia Taylor Dudley who played Alice in The Magicians who was once notoriously and literally a fox.

Amongst the chaos, Bess interrogates Temperance and learns she didn’t kill anyone, and Ace manages to morse code a message so his friends know he’s trapped. Nancy asks Temperance for help and they do a little magic and get their friends back to the real world. Hannah, understandably shook by this, says she has to retire and asks Bess to look over the Historical Society a while longer until she finds a replacement.

Bess is in the Historical Society licking her wounds from the day’s mishaps when Addy walks in and plants one on her, telling Bess not to worry; mistakes or not, Addy thinks Bess is pretty great. They dance since they didn’t get to at the party, and it’s very cute and sweet. Temperance is definitely up to no good, but for now we have this and I’ll enjoy it while it lasts.

Boobs on Your Tube: “The Sex Lives of College Girls” Is — Surprise! — G A Y

Before we hop into the TV, did you know you can get 25% off everything in the Autostraddle store today through Monday? 40% if you’re an A+ member! Okay and now let’s hop! This week, Carmen interviewed Lena Waithe!!! Carmen also recapped Twenties, reviewed Gentefied, and reviewed Halle Berry’s Bruised, AND reviewed Tessa Thompson’s Passing! (All on “vacation,” by the way!) Sally brought us one final update from Dancing With the Stars. Kayla recapped the first two episodes of Yellow Jackets. Nic recapped Batwoman. Valerie Anne recapped Legends of Tomorrow. And Drew ranked Elliot Page movies by transness.

Notes from the TV Team:

+ I am following Wheel of Time very closely and will be bringing you a standalone post of gayness very soon. — Heather

+ Still not quite enough to report back on re: The Flash’s ARMAGEDDON but the team did call Alex (Kara and J’onn are apparently “off-world”) so hopefully soon we’ll have some fun gay shenanigans to talk about. — Valerie Anne

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All American 405: “Can It All Be So Simple”

Written by Natalie

Last week, as Coop beefed with Layla over another artist using her music, she criticized Patience for not taking her side. At the time I thought it weird that no one mentioned that Patience was also one of Layla’s artists and that jeopardizing Layla’s business meant endangering Patience’s own career, so I convinced myself that I was misremembering. Maybe Patience hadn’t signed with Layla? Maybe it was just something I thought happened but didn’t, like season six of The L Word? But, apparently, I wasn’t wrong: All American was just waiting a week to use Patience’s career as a plot point (again).

Patience is putting the final touches on her album and Layla is loving the results…so much so that she recommends pushing up the release date and replacing Coop on a headlining tour. Patience questions if she’s even ready for that but Layla assures her that she is. Layla reminds Patience that she’s been building her buzz by opening on Lil’ Jewel’s tour and now there’s an opportunity to take advantage of her hard work. Patience is ambivalent about taking a slot that was meant for Coop but Layla’s unsympathetic. She reminds Patience that she’s running a business and gives Patience 48 hours to make a decision about the tour.

The next day, Coop’s babysitting Amina (Mo and Preach’s daughter) when Patience interrupts. After Amina scurries off, Coop asks Patience about her music and she downplays her success. Olivia overhears and corrects the record: Patience’s album is great and the fans will love it when she goes out on tour. Olivia quickly realizes that she’s let the cat out of the bag but Patience insists she was just about to tell Coop about the tour. Again, Patience minimizes the details but still rushes away from the growing tension as soon as she possibly can.

Later, Coop stops by Patience’s house and apologizes for making it hard for her to celebrate what’s going on in her career. Patience insists that Coop wasn’t making it hard, she was just trying to be sensitive because of all that Coop’s lost. Coop assures Patience that she doesn’t need to walk on eggshells with her and she absolutely should headline the tour. The couple embraces and Patience invites Coop to join her on tour. She admits that things have been a little off lately and being alone together on tour would give them the time and space to do that.

“I love you but I can’t leave Amina right now. I’m the reason her mom is dead. She needs me and I owe that too her,” Coop answers and Patience immediately pulls away from her. Patience shifts from her usual warmth to all business and agrees that “we have to do what we both have to do.”

And personally, I’m hoping that what Patience has to do is break up with Coop because she deserves so much better. Patience was truly right when she said, earlier this season, “the person to blame for all the drama that follows Coop around is Coop.” When Mo’s devil spawn, Amina, finally gets the revenge she’s seeking on “the grim reaper of the hood,” Coop will have brought it on herself.

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New Amsterdam 410: “Death Is the Rule. Life Is the Exception”

Written by Natalie

“How much did you spend?” Leyla asks.

This week’s New Amsterdam doesn’t offer us a second of reprieve — no moment of warmth — it just hits us, straight out the gate, with the secret that’s been hanging over our favorite couple the entire season. Oh, happiness…it was nice while it lasted.

Lauren doesn’t catch on to what Leyla means at first so she clarifies: “How much did you spend to buy my residency?” And that’s when Lauren’s panic sets in. She tries to deflect but Leyla remains firm, asking about how big a bribe Lauren paid. Lauren insists that she didn’t bribe anyone, she just made a donation to the hospital, but Leyla sees a distinction without a difference. Lauren defends herself by suggesting that she was just righting wrongs: the wrong that Leyla had to repeat her residency and the wrong that caused the dean to dismiss Leyla’s application in the first place. And while I know that Lauren messed up here, I feel a bit of sympathy for her because she’s not wrong.

Leyla, however, is unmoved and asks again how much Lauren spent. Lauren confesses that she donated $90k — which, frankly, is a bargain — and insists that she did this for Leyla and for them. Iggy interrupts with hospital gossip and it gives Leyla an opportunity to escape before she cries in front of everyone. Left alone in the office, the panic plays out on Lauren’s face.

A bacterial outbreak at the hospital keeps the couple apart for most of the day but when the day’s over, Lauren greets Leyla as she walks out of the hospital. Still not over it, Leyla calls Lauren out for lying to her, as she’d asked Lauren directly if she had a hand in securing the residency. Lauren assures Leyla that she earned her spot and that her only role was helping others see how deserving she was.

“If I hadn’t, I mean, you’d be half way across the country. You’d be gone. We’d be over,” Lauren admits. “Leyla, I would write a million dollar check to keep us together.”

And that’s the thing: because Lauren didn’t do this for Leyla, she donated the money to save their relationship. And for someone who grew up like Lauren did, throwing money at something may look like love, but as Leyla points out as she walks away, “That’s not love.”

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Riverdale 602: “Ghost Stories”

Written by Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya

Welcome back to Riverdale — ahem, RiverVALE — where ghosts are doing lil ghosty things and also where I’m simply beginning someone, anyone, to turn on like one light? Okay, I know the whole dark colors + neons + soft lamp light thing is the show’s Aesthetic, but I literally cannot see anyone. It’s reminding me of trying to make Vampire Diaries gifs for tumblr in like 2011-2012 and needing to bump up that brightness just to be able to see people’s faces!!!!!!!

Anyway, sometimes you just gotta go to your ex-girlfriend’s haunted estate to do a seance to summon a vengeful spirit who is trying to kill your baby because you accidentally lethally knifed a boy in the heart during a gang brawl, you know? That is indeed what Toni Topaz finds herself doing in “Ghost Stories,” Riverdale’s take on La Llorona folklore. The episode opens with a street fight between the Serpents and the Ghoulies, and apparently Toni is still moonlighting as a gang member, because she’s right there in the thick of it, throwing a knife in, according to her, an attempt to wound rather than kill. Seems dicey!

The dead boy’s mom inexplicably waits three months and then summons La Llorona. Riverdale’s iteration of the weeping woman is a veiled presence who lives in Sweetwater River. Once summoned, she gets down to standard La Llorona business: killing children. She attempts to drown Juniper and supernaturally terminates Betty’s pregnancy. (Reminder: Last episode, Betty became pregnant with Archie’s child with the help of Cheryl’s magic? Shortly before Archie was then blood sacrificed for the sake of the town’s fertility in both a literal baby sense but also in terms of its maple supply? Anyway, the blood sacrifice did work: The maple is plentiful once more, and Cheryl and Nana Rose enjoy maple-infused brandies in this episode.)

La Llorona is mainly after baby Anthony. And during a seance at Thornhill, they learn La Llorona used to be a woman named Martha Mallon, who was a nurse in a maternity ward in Rivervale’s first hospital. She was blamed for the high mortality rate of children in town, so a bunch of townsfolk drowned her and her children in Sweetwater River.

I’m still digging Riverdale’s all-out plunge into the fantastic! The show has always had a tenuous grasp on logic and laws, so let’s let go altogether! Apparently, this whole Rivervale experiment is slated to be a five-episode event. And I have a theory: I think they’re going to kill off a main character in every installment. Because while Toni does not technically die at episode’s end, she does trade places with Martha, becoming the new cursed weeping woman.

Elsewhere, Reggie’s having an affair with a car. Or, more specifically, a car reminds him of his former driver’s ed teacher, who was apparently accused of having inappropriate relations with students. I’m not sure if Veronica lecturing Reggie on the toxicity and abusive nature of a student-teacher relationship is Riverdale’s attempt to atone for Ms. Grundy in season one or what! But Reggie says the driver’s ed teacher was merely there for him when he was being abused by his father (who dies in this episode) and nothing inappropriate happened.

Jughead and Tabitha have a ghost story of their own. Specifically, a couple — named SAM AND DIANE — died in their apartment. More specifically, Diane brained Sam with a hammer and hung herself. Jughead and Tabitha’s typical domestic squabbles (Tabitha feels undervalued since she works all day and Jughead…stays home to NOT write; Jughead feels pressured by Tabitha; Tabitha doesn’t like it when he leaves the cap off the toothpaste?; etc.) take on a sharp edge when it starts to seem like they might be becoming Sam and Diane. Riverdale leaves it somewhat up in the air whether they’re actually being possessed/influenced by the ghosts or just falling into bad patterns together and then projecting the ghost stories onto themselves — a creative choice I’m into! But seriously, these two are…not great together. They have their first real fight, and it’s bad! And it ends with them saying “I love you” for the first time? Seek help!

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Nancy Drew 307: “The Gambit of the Tangled Souls”

Written by Valerie Anne

This week, Bess takes George’s advice and asks Addy for that second date, but almost as soon as Addy agrees, she has to reschedule because George needs Bess’s help with some soul splitting. When Addy makes an offhand remark about it being an ex, Bess can’t help but think of Odette and can’t honestly deny the accusation, and Addy is pretty bummed about it.

As Bess takes care of George as she goes through the soul splitting journey and Odette comes out one last time, and Bess starts to panic about this whole plan.

Back at the youth center, Addy is becoming her own character outside of Bess and talking to Nick about processing his trauma, and says that a period of time where she unplugged helped her gain clarity.

When Nancy and Bess realize that they’ll have to destroy a crystal that houses Odettes’s soul, Odette begs Nancy to help her find another way. She was holding onto a secret hope that maybe somehow they could get Odette back someday, so she could live her best gay life, but Nancy says it’s time for Odette to move on.

Bess panics and takes off with the crystal, and when Nancy finds her and apologizes for not considering how hard this would be for Bess. But with some convincing, Bess says goodbye to Odette and smashes the crystal, bringing George back to life. Bess feels like a bad friend, but Nancy understands and so they don’t tell George when she wakes up.

Bess buries the Odette crystal where the lilacs bloom in spring, and promises her that her story won’t be forgotten. She asks for a sign that Odette is at piece, and at that exact moment, Addy shows up, and they plan a proper second date.

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The Sex Lives of College Girls 101-102: “Welcome to Essex” and “Naked Party”

Written by Natalie

Leighton Murray had it all planned out: she’d join her brother, Nico, at their father’s alma mater, Essex College, and she’d spend her year living alongside her high school besties. But you know what they say about the best laid plans: when Leighton arrives at Essex, she greeted by a trio of strangers — Kimberly, Whitney and Bela — and rushes out to figure out how this mix-up happened. Her high school besties, Esme and Francesca, feign dismay but a trip to the housing office reveals the truth: both of Leighton’s so-called besties explicitly asked not to room with her. When Leighton confronts Esme and Francesca about their deception, they admit that they were never really friends.

“The truth is, we never really felt like we knew you,” Esme confesses.

“Yeah, you were always so secretive or something. It was like being friends with a stranger,” Francesca adds. Leighton pushes back, insisting that she shared everything with them, but Esme and Francesca recall their history differently: it’s like a wall existed between them. Dismayed, Leighton flicks them both off and storms off but later it’s clear that she’s hurt by her friends’ betrayal.

The thing is? Esme and Francesca weren’t wrong.

Even in her dealings with her new roommates, Leighton is cold and dismissive. The Regina George of Essex College (Leighton’s portrayer, Renee Rapp, played the mean girl on Broadway, coincidentally). When her brother, Nico, encourages her to be civil to her new roommates, Leighton tries to make amends — buying them iPads and offering them “sage” advice — but when they decide to go to a fraternity party together, Leighton’s wall goes up.

Behind that wall, Leighton’s finding women to hook up with on a Tinder-like app: the first, a sexy red-head at a nearby casino, the second, a realtor in her mini-van, in between showings at one of her listings. The realtor, Chloe Wright, confuses the hook-up for a first date, asking Leighton about her Essex keychain and stumbling onto the fact that Leighton’s still in the closet. She encourages Leighton to come out, assuring her that it’s worth it, but Leighton is unmoved.

“I don’t want being gay to be my identity, I like my identity. I don’t want to be the gay Kappa girl or the lesbian cousin. I don’t want to be other, I just want to be me,” Leighton insists.

Chloe continues to push but Leighton reminds her that this was just supposed to be a hook-up and escapes the mini-van. Later, Chloe calls to check on Leighton and promises her that it gets better. Leighton scoffs, dismissing Chloe’s PSA, and asserts that she’s absolutely thriving. Chloe points out that Leighton is living a lie and Leighton assures her that she knows that.

The Sex Lives of College Girls is the latest creation from Mindy Kaling and Justin Noble. The pair last worked together on Never Have I Ever and you’ll notice a lot of the same archetypes reappearing here. But Sex Lives is risqué in a way NHIE can’t be, thanks to the college setting. New episodes of Sex Lives are available Thursdays on HBO Max.

Boobs On Your Tube: Welcome Back to Riverdale, Where Everyone Is HORNY

Oh well hello and a happy Friday to you! It’s that time of year again, the time when the sunsets at 4pm in the northeast! Which means it’s also time to snuggle down under a pile of blankets with my cats and watch so much gay teevee! Speaking of! This week! Riese brought you great tidings of Kristen Stewart’s forthcoming gay ghost show? I (Heather) wrote about how that dang Netflix Goop sex show actually self-helped me. Sally updated you on JoJo Siwa’s latest routines on DWTS, which got her through to the finals! Valerie Anne is here and queer to tell you about the lesbian on Yellowjackets. She also recapped Legends of Tomorrow! Nic recapped another VERY GAY Batwoman. Carmen recapped another VERY GAY Twenties. And special guest Juan Barquin wrote about the new adaptation of Cowboy Bebop.

Notes from the TV Team:

+ I just wanted to reassure all the CWDCTVLGBTQ+s that Nic and I are all over ARMAGEDDON, keeping an eye on the Flash five-episode event for the arrival of our beloved gays. So far the only non-Flash character is Ray from Legends, none of our ladies yet. But at the end of the episode, they said they were going to call Alex Danvers for her alien expertise so hopefully her and Ryan are on their way to Central City as we speak! We’ll be sure to report back when they show up. — Valerie Anne

+ I’m ALMOST caught up on Dickinson enough to write about it for you! This season is impeccably gay so far, and I remain devastated it will be the last one. — Valerie Anne

+ Few shows have brought me more unexpected joy this fall than The Big Leap (which, of course, means it’s going to be cancelled). Stef Foster, Paulie Oster, my favorite boyfriend from Felicity (IYKYK), a big girl as the romantic lead and dancing montages set to classic Missy Elliott and Whitney Houston? It’s like my own personal catnip. But just in case I needed a reason to love this show more, they gave it to me this week when they revealed Monica Sullivan (the show’s unflinching judge/dance instructor) is bisexual and shares a matching tattoo with her ex-girlfriend, Annie. — Natalie

+ On Station 19, Maya changed exactly one (1!!) diaper and decided that she’s actually ready to have a baby with Carina after all. I debated writing a full blurb about it, because I miss writing about Maya and Carina so much! But honestly? The decision to make them mothers so quickly after marriage is a lazy writing choice, and to have Maya turn around so quickly on it (yes, I get she’s still grieving losing Miller) was bad writing at that. — Carmen

+ Also I know you updates on Home Economics and 4400! I’m in a bit of a content hole that I am digging myself out of rapidly (I owe stuff to everyone), but after Thanksgiving we should be back to normal. I miss y’all! — Carmen

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Nancy Drew 306: “The Myth of the Ensnared Hunter”

Written by Valerie Anne

This week, Bess regrets being so adamant about Addy being a one-time thing. She “casually” looks for Addy at the youth center, but when she’s not there, Bess tries to play it like she doesn’t care but she’s barely convincing herself let alone anyone else.

Bess tries to distract herself by helping George with her Odette problem, and while she’s at the Historical Society, she gets a start when Nancy emerges from a secret door in the wall after searching some tunnels for a monster that looks like a Gentleman left underwater too long. The Drew Crew reviews the security footage of the Historical Society to see who else has used that secret door, when they see the exact nature of Bess and Addy’s relationship.

Eventually George gets it out of Bess that the reason she’s trying to keep Addy at arm’s length is because she’s afraid Addy won’t want more. George, who knows the value of not wasting time all too well, tells Bess that she has to take the chance and ask for a second date. And that Addy would be a fool to say no.

Though Bess might be a bit distracted in the coming days, because the rest of the footage reveals that Historical Hannah knew about the secret door to the monster tunnel all along.

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Legacies 406: “You’re a Long Way From Home”

Written by Valerie Anne

This week’s episode opens with the Super Squad being brutally murdered by the Tribrid because she’s a force to be reckoned with. As soon as Hope starts murdering her friends I know it must be some kind of nightmare scenario, and even though it DID turn out to be the simulation box, it didn’t make it hurt any less to watch Hope snap sweet Josie’s neck.

Finch and Cleo are trying to help the Squad find Hope, but Hope is managing to uno reverse their spells in her quest to learn more about Triad. Cleo knows there’s a weapon that can kill Hope but she’s hesitant to tell everyone, especially before she has what I assume will be an ancient White Oak stake. (I don’t want Hope to do anything she’ll regret when she turns her humanity back on, which I hope she does before Cleo permakills her, but I’m enjoying Chaotic Neutral Hope while she lasts.)

Josie is freaking out and Finch tries to calm her down but Josie feels guilty about her dad getting hurt while she was…relaxing with Finch so she snaps at her girlfriend. Finch realizes this isn’t the time to dicuss this so she gets out of the way for now.

All the while Lizzie is busy trying to find a way to save her dad, which I feel like personally is a waste of time, especially when Hope’s humanity is at…stake. She finds a spell that could steal life force from someone to put it back in her dad, but ultimately can’t go through with it. Later, Josie feels guilty that she found herself a little disappointed Lizzie hadn’t killed someone to save Alaric. And now dad is still in a coma, Hope is seeming farther (and further) away, and Lizzie’s in the therapy box. Josie has never felt so…on her own.

Finch points out that she’s never NOT been. Josie has had Lizzie since birth and they’ve both lived at the school their dad runs their whole lives. But now Finch is here to have her back so Josie can just be in her feelings, sit in the helplessness for a minute, have a breakdown if she needs to. Just…be.

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Hightown 205: “Dot Dot Dot”

Written by Natalie

This week’s Hightown saves its most explosive stories for other characters — Daisy, Frankie, Jorge, Renee and Ray, most notably — but it gives its most relatable story for Jackie Quiñones. And, boy, is it painfully relatable.

Jackie wakes up and reaches across the bed to find the space next to her empty. When she spots Leslie across the room, with far too many clothes on, Jackie tries to lure her back into bed. She praises Leslie’s oral performance from the night before, astounded that it was her first time. Leslie chalks her success up to beginner’s luck and asks if it was a big deal that Jackie let her go down on her.

“Um, I mean, not really….well…kind of,” Jackie admits. “You really wanna have this conversation? The butch conversation?”

And I very much do what them to have that conversation but, instead, Jackie pulls Leslie into a kiss. Eventually, Leslie has to leave for court and Jackie watches her go with a broad smile on her face. Jackie Quiñones, the lesbian lothario of P-Town, is ridiculously in love with a straight girl. Been there, Jackie…been there.

Later, Jackie suits back up for the Fisheries Service and joins an operation with Ed to catch the Scrodfather unloading an illegally caught great white shark. While making the trip up to a processing plant in Brooklyn, Jackie exchanges texts with Leslie and can’t hide how positively giddy she is about it. Ed notices Jackie’s cheshire grin and tells her that he’s glad to see her happy again. When they arrive in Brooklyn, all that’s left to do is wait on the truck so Jackie entertains herself with texts from Leslie.

Jackie: ughhhh ron’s so annoying this sux.
Leslie: anything i can do to help
Jackie: Yes! Send pics! 🙏 🤪
(Jackie sits up straight in her seat as her phone shows that Leslie’s responding back)
Leslie: *sends topless pic*
Jackie: OMG I love you so much

Listen, I get how an “I love you” can slip out after someone sends you (consensual) nudes. The hormones take over — oxytocin makes you feel connected to the sender, dopamine floods your system, impacting your impulse control — and suddenly, you’re professing love that you may not even feel or, in Jackie’s case, do feel but definitely would not admit to under normal circumstances. Been there, Jackie…been there. As soon as Jackie clicked send, I screamed, “OOOH, NOOO!”

Jackie’s message is delivered and read. Bubbles pop up, indicating that Leslie’s about to respond, but then they disappear…and Leslie never returns to the conversation. The longer Jackie goes without a response, the more frantic she gets. She texts. She calls. She freaks out. At some point, she calls Leslie a bitch. She pleads for Leslie to just call her back and let her explain. Of course, Leslie doesn’t and when she can’t fix her misstep, she takes her frustration out on Ed…damaging her relationship with the only person she’s been able to depend on in her life.

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All American 404: “A Bird in the Hand”

Written by Natalie

This week, Coop slinks back into the studio just in time to hear Layla’s new artist in the booth performing one of her songs. It stings to hear someone else performing her work so Coop lashes out, accusing Layla of stealing songs just like her father did. Layla refuses to be disrespected in her own studio so she reminds Coop what actually happen: she invested all her time and money into creating tracks that Coop never finished. She’s funneling the tracks to a new artist in hopes of recouping some of her investment. All Coop can hear is someone else delivering the rhymes she wrote and tells Layla, “good luck with your replacement Coop.”

Later, Coop bemoans Layla’s “business as usual” attitude but Patience is more sympathetic. She understands that Layla is just trying to make the best out of a bad situation. Shocked that her girlfriend isn’t on her side, Coop reminds her of when something similar happened between her and JP (aka Layla’s dad). Patience corrects the record: JP pushed her out of the process but Layla would include her, but for Coop’s own pronouncement that she was done with music. She reminds Coop that Layla’s career is on the line too and it’s unfair to expect Layla to give up.

Coop returns to an empty studio later and runs into Asher. They commiserate about their shared fate — both having recently had their dreams snatched away — and each offer advice to the other. He reminds her that if someone else is performing her song that’s just proof that she wrote a damn good song. Asher’s words get through to Coop and later, she apologizes to Layla for her behavior. Coop encourages Layla to use her music but pushes her to allow her new artist to freestyle their own lyrics: using Coop’s experiences takes away from the song’s authenticity. Later, when Layla gets her artist back in the booth, the song pops with the new freestyle lyrics and it’s clear: Coop might not be able to perform anymore but she’s still got an ear for the business.

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New Amsterdam 409: “In a Strange Land”

Written by Natalie

When Casey started questioning the how and why behind the creation of a fifth resident slot at the hospital, Lauren should’ve seen that as a sign. If Casey could figure it out, it’d only be a little while before one of her colleagues could piece it together or, worse, Leyla discovered how she earned her New Amsterdam residency. Once Casey figured it out, Lauren Bloom should’ve gone home and told her girlfriend the truth. Maybe, ultimately, it wouldn’t have changed anything but it would’ve given Lauren her best shot at salvaging her relationship.

Of course, Lauren didn’t do any of that. Instead, the couple return to work: with Dr. Bloom managing the ED through a mass casualty event, without her head nurse (Casey) to help her, and Dr. Shinwari joining Dr. Reynolds for a general surgery rotation. A fire at a midtown church sends its residents — mostly undocumented immigrants who were seeking sanctuary there — streaming into New Amsterdam. But the threat the immigrants face isn’t just from their injuries: ICE is camped outside the hospital, waiting for the immigrants to come out so they can be detained.

One of the immigrants has labored breathing but refuses to allow Layla to take off the bandages that are restricting their breathing. Thankfully, one of the ED’s nurses, Kai Brunstetter, intervenes, introducing themselves by revealing their pronouns. They ask if taking off their binder makes them feel unsafe and exposed and the patient nods. Kai explains that between the smoke from the fire and binder, their lungs are struggling so they have to take the binder off. The patient agrees and he introduces himself as Temi.

As Kai and Leyla undo the binder, they notice some discharge on the bandages and send him to Dr. Sharpe in Oncology for a mammogram. Kai accompanies him to the appointment and admits that the screening is “like stepping back into a body that isn’t mine” but insists that its necessary. Temi, clearly carrying the emotional scars of his youth, refuses the mammogram but Helen finds an alternative, an ultrasound on a transducer table. When they find a lump, Sharpe explains that they’ll need to perform a lumpectomy but Temi insists on a double mastectomy. Sharpe explains the difference between a mastectomy and top surgery but Temi acknowledges, “this might be my only chance.”

Temi wakes up from his surgery happy about his new body but Sharpe has bad news: his cancer has spread and he’ll need daily treatment for six weeks to avoid it killing him. But, Temi laments, if the cancer doesn’t kill him, ICE detention or deportation will.

Meanwhile, Dr. Shinwari returns to Reynolds’ side to help save a burn victim. Throughout the treatment, she can’t help but reflect on how lucky she is…how she could’ve easily been one of these immigrants, seeking treatment instead of giving it. In surgery, their patient has a setback and Leyla recognizes it right away, impressing Reynolds. The newly minted Chief of General Surgery is so impressed he offers her a slot in his department when she finishes her residency.

“I see how why they created a fifth slot for you,” Reynolds muses, much to Leyla’s dismay. He recalls the last time the hospital added a fifth resident, it was because of a family’s large donation to New Amsterdam. Leyla starts putting the pieces together and my heart (and hers) sinks.

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A Million Little Things 407: “Stay”

Written by Natalie

So, apparently, when Shanice said goodbye to Katherine, she really meant goodbye. It feels like a waste — there was so much potential there and so much chemistry — but at least Shanice’s absence hasn’t meant that Katherine’s retreated back into the closet. Quite the contrary, actually: our girl is single and ready to mingle.

Katherine enlists her assistant, Carter, to help her get ready for her first date. He’s giddy about her joining him in the alphabet mafia and imagines her “leaning into moto style”…which, as someone who’s a sucker for a girl in a moto jacket, I wholeheartedly agree. Katherine admits that she doesn’t know what to wear, much less what to talk about and Carter reminds her that “this is a first date, not confession.” She laments having to go on this awkward first date rather than having something develop organically like with Shanice but Carter pushes her to try.

“This is your first pancake, the one that’s never cooked correctly, but prepares the griddle for the others,” Carter advises. He hands her a sexy black dress and encourages her to eat that pancake…which might be taking this metaphor a step too far.

The date starts out great but, slowly, the wheels start to come off. Katherine admits that it’s her first date with a woman but her date, Heather, assures her that it’s definitely not hers. A little undone by Heather’s flirtation, Katherine rambles a bit and Heather puts her hand over Katherine’s to reassure her that everything’s fine. They’re staring in each other’s eyes when the bartender comes over to refill their glasses and Katherine pulls away.

“Um… do you want to split an order of guac? It says they put in pomegranate. I’m… I’m curious,” Katherine stammers.

“Clearly,” Heather answers back, every hint of flirtation gone from her voice, and it’s obvious what’s about to happen. Heather excuses herself to go to the restroom but never returns, leaving Katherine alone at the bar. At least she was kind enough to pay the tab before she ghosted Katherine.

Back at the office, Katherine drowns her sorrows and tries to figure out where she went wrong. Carter urges her to look at the date as a win, since she was confident enough to put herself out there. Coming out is difficult, no matter when it happens, Carter points out, reflecting on his own coming out story. His tale causes Katherine to reflect on the gay girl she knew in high school — a coming out that she did not handle well — and later, Katherine slides into her Insta DMs.

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Riverdale 601: “Welcome to Rivervale”

Written by Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya

Welcome back to Riverdale, where everyone is HORNY. Veronica and Reggie are horny for power as the town’s new power couple. Alice is horny for Uncle Frank, who shoots down her advances because he is capital-D Damaged, but who isn’t in this town? Betty and Archie are horny to make a baby. I know they’ve known each other their whole lives, so they’re not technically U-Hauling their relationship, but they are kinda U-Hauling their relationship. Betty says at one point “I’ve been dreaming about starting a family with you since sixth grade,” to which I simply have to ask — what? But seriously, these horndogs are going AT IT this episode. Me personally? Horny for the fact that Betty beats Archie in an axe throwing competition. Tabitha and Jughead are decidedly not horny, even though they’ve recently moved in together. It’s hard to be horny when your home is cursed with endless bug infestations. And Cheryl Blossom is horny for doing blood sacrifices in the woods.

Yes, you did indeed read that correctly. And I’m sure if you are a watcher of Riverdale, there’s little I could say or do to shock you. But the writers have taken Riverdale’s absurdity a step further, because you see, we’re no longer in Riverdale at all. This season, we’re in Rivervale, a shadowtown, a different dimension entirely. The players are the same, but the rules are different. We bid adieu to any semblance of reality, and you know what? I love this for Riverdale. Throw continuity and coherency out the damn door and let’s get weird. I don’t necessarily want Riverdale to become Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (Sabrina will be making an appearance in Rivervale), but I do think there’s a happy medium. Riverdale has long moved past its roots as a teen drama (I mean, they’re not even teens anymore), and going full Twilight Zone meets Brothers Grimm? Hot! Jughead serves as a full-on Rod Serling, breaking the fourth wall and taking viewers through the fresh horrors that plague Rivervale. The format is working. These writers know how to blow up a concept entirely and then rebuild something even wilder than what came before.

In Rivervale, Cheryl has declared Thornhill a sovereign nation and also has a small army of bow and arrow wielding girls at her disposal. Over the course of the episode, characters need favors from her, and she hands them out with, of course, a price tag. They must bear witness at an unspecified ritual on her grounds. It’s a classic folklore premise, a beautiful witch promising a cure for people’s ailments and then coming to collect.

It’s difficult to choose a favorite Cheryl line from this episode (A couple I wrote down: “My spies tell me that Archie Andrews is trying to steal my maple thunder”; “Tell me, what demons torment you Tab Tab?”). The Rivervale aesthetic and tone absolutely plays to Madelaine Petsch’s strengths. And this exchange between Cheryl and Betty had me, simply, dead:

Cheryl: Cousin, howfore did you get into my house?
Betty: A bobby pin.

Betty and her bobby pins. She’s, dare I say, horny for snooping!

On the subject of quotes, Veronica says she has always wanted to “make it” on a bed of cash. MAKE IT? WHAT YEAR IS IT? (Temporality, temperature, and geography have always been more fluid than fixed on Riverdale, but that seems especially true in Rivervale.)

Cheryl does finally come to collect. She convinces the whole town to participate in a human sacrifice. Specifically, in the killing of Archie Andrews, who she ties to a post and crowns with a set of antlers before using a knife to cut out his heart. It’s like a CW-ified Yellowjackets!!!!!! See, I thought I was going to have to reach to bring up Yellowjackets in basically everything I write about television for the foreseeable future, but Riverdale really came through with the haunting animal imagery and friends violently turning on each other and ritualistic killing. Anyway, Archie’s dead now? Not entirely sure what to do with that information. Because under the new rules of Rivervale, he could easily come back to life anytime.

Boobs on Your Tube: “Legacies” Tempts With Baddie Bisexual Vampires

Holy cats, y’all, this has been the absolute WILDEST day of TV trailer news! We got new teasers from Sex and the City, Ms. Marvel, and She-Hulk! Let’s see… what else happened this week? The Morning Show doubled down on its gay smooching and Christina was there with you to yell about it. Carmen recapped an all new episode of Twenties. Valerie Anne recapped Legends of Tomorrow and the Supergirl series finale. Batwoman went full fan fic and Nic responded in kind by going full fangirl. Riese reviewed Dopesick! Shelli reviewed Tampa Baes!  And Sally caught us up with JoJo Siwa’s latest DWTS routines.

Notes from the TV Team:

+ On Queens, it’s not looking great for Jill and Tina!! Waking up from her adulterous hookup, Jill finds out Tina is visiting LA. After some cover up (Jill suggests U-Hauling because she doesn’t want to deal with her guilt), it finally comes out that Jill cheated in the last episode. Tina offers to forgive her, but the truth is that Jill is newly out for the first time and still ready to explore! Tina, surprisingly mature about her heartbreak, decides that if she’s waited this long for Jill, maybe the timing just isn’t right. And if she’s lucky, maybe their paths will cross again in the future. Until then, welcome Jill’s Hoe Phase?  — Carmen

+ On All American, news about Coop’s decision to give up music finally gets back to Layla. Incensed, Layla puts her label first: forcing Coop to sign papers ending their partnership and allowing Layla to shop Coop’s music around to other artists. If that wasn’t bad enough, Mo’s daughter is starting to ask questions about what happened to her mother and why no one’s avenged her death. Looks like that thirst for revenge runs in the family. — Natalie

+ Dickinson is back! I haven’t had a chance to watch it yet but I’ll be writing about it in some way, shape, or form as soon as I do!! — Valerie Anne

+ So we have collectively decided that Amelia is flirting enough with hot enby Dr. Kai on Grey’s to warrant joining our recaps! Unfortunately this week we were all so upset about [Station 19 not gay spoiler] that we processed our grief about it over 50 comments in a slack thread! Amelia and hot doctor Kai, your time begins next week. — Carmen

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Hightown 204: “Daddy Issues”

Written by Natalie

This week, Jackie’s back in her Fisheries Service uniform, questioning the Scrodfather about shark poaching off the Cape. The interview proves unproductive so Eddie encourages Jackie to salvage the trip to New Bedford by visiting her father, Rafael. She goes, begrudgingly, and things are awkward and tense. Jackie returns to the station and works out her angst by fucking Leslie against the lockers.

A text message disrupts their post-coital bliss, alerting them to Daisy’s real identity. Once they discover her probationary status, they set a trap and she falls right in. Leslie threatens Daisy with arrest but Jackie takes a more gentle approach to convince Daisy to become their informant. She gives Daisy a day to think about everything and passes on her business card. Daisy returns to Xavier’s and when she’s not deferential enough with Jorge, he punches her in the face and throws her out of the club.

As they await word from Daisy, Leslie and Jackie stroll along the streets of P-town. Jackie laments that Daisy’s protection of Jorge and Leslie chalks it up to “daddy issues, after all, she is a stripper.” Jackie scoffs: everybody’s got daddy issues, including Leslie…case and point: her affair with Ray. Leslie concedes that her father is a bit like Ray — an emotionally unavailable cop with a propensity for violence — but notes that she got her drive and competitive spirit from him. Leslie asks if Jackie’s father knows she’s gay and she acknowledges that he does and that he’s cool with it. Leslie’s surprised, she’d heard that “the Latinos weren’t down with that stuff.”

“Aw, you’re so cute when you’re racist,” Jackie chides, before explaining, “I’m an only child — probably wanted a boy — so I think, in a way, he related to me more because I wanted to fuck chicks.”

Jackie acknowledges her father’s fuckboi tendencies and admits her frustrating at how his philandering ways hurt her mother. The show of vulnerability touches Leslie and she grabs Jackie’s hand and weaves their fingers together. She leans forward and kisses Jackie who ramps up the passion between them until Daisy’s call pulls her away. Leslie urges Jackie to be careful and come home to her. She pulls Jackie into another kiss and Jackie slips her the keys to her apartment so she can be there, waiting, when she’s done.

Later, Jackie wakes Leslie and stokes her ambition (and her libido) with the promise of taking down Frankie and Jorge. Things quickly get passionate and, once again, Leslie tries to go down on Jackie. She resists, again, and Leslie assures Jackie that she really wants to do this.

“I don’t really…I don’t really…” Jackie stammers, clearly not interested. But Leslie — who, despite the circumstances, feels very straight in this moment — says please and Jackie relents. Her release finally comes but it’s a mix of pleasure and pain that feels like it might reverberate throughout the rest of the season.

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9-1-1 507: “Ghost Stories”

Written by Natalie

Halloween came a little late this season on 9-1-1, as the first responders of the 118 dealt with ghosts, both real and imagined. For Henrietta Wilson, the ghost comes in the form of her ex-girlfriend, Eva Mathis. Last we saw Eva, she’d threatened to sue Karen and Hen for custody of Denny but overdosed (and was subsequently sent back to prison) before she could make good on her threat. This week, she returns looking to make amends.

When she arrives, Eva reports that she’s nearly two years sober and is looking to start over somewhere else. Hen offers half-hearted congratulations and tries to usher her ex out the door. Eva admits that during her recovery, she’s had plenty of time to think, and she acknowledges how much she hurt Hen. She’s amazed that, even despite that hurt, Hen sill saved her life and took in her son, never holding him responsible for his mother’s transgressions. As tears roll down her face, Hen admits that she’s glad Eva’s doing better but forgiveness just isn’t possible right now.

When she returns home, Hen shares the news of Eva’s visit with Karen. Why she thinks Karen needed to know about a visit from the ex that Hen cheated on her with, I don’t know…and, frankly, neither does Karen. Hen insists that she just didn’t want any secrets between them, particularly about Eva. Karen wonders if Eva’s truly leaving town and Hen admits that she thinks Eva was being sincere. Hen’s continued faith in Eva only further exacerbates Karen’s insecurities and after leaving Hen stunned, Karen takes her fight directly to the source: Eva. She puts it to her plainly, “why [do] you keep popping up, trying to blow my life apart?”

Eva insists that that wasn’t her intention; instead, she just wanted to make Hen — the first person to ever really believe in her — proud of her again. Karen admits that she’s been worried about the specter Eva casts over her relationship with Hen since their third date. Everytime Eva calls, she’s convinced she’ll lose Hen and Denny because all the people she loves, belonged to Eva first. But Eva puts Karen at ease: Hen won’t leave because she loves Karen more than her. The admission stops Eva’s ghost from haunting Karen’s relationship with and the couple reaffirm their love by candlelight.

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NCIS: Hawai’i 107: “Rescuers”

Written by Natalie

Kate Whistler walks into the NCIS offices with a spring in her step. She’s dressed more casually than usual. She’s smiling broadly. She even stops to say good morning to Ernie, the team’s tech guru. In short, it’s all very un-Whistler like. She tries to cloak it — pretending that her visit is about some security clearance forms and not Kate returning the tennis bracelet Lucy left at her apartment the night before — but it’s clear to anyone paying attention: Kate Whitsler is smitten. And that, as it turns out, is a problem for Kate Whistler.

When the couple cross paths later, the energy between them has shifted: Lucy is still glowing from their night together and already hard at work planning their next date (bowling! rockin’ bowl!) but Kate’s withdrawn. Kate pulls Lucy into a quiet corner and lightly admonishes her for talking about dating while at work. Stunned by Kate’s shift in demeanor, Lucy asks what happened to the woman who was all smiles this morning. People noticed her behavior this morning, Kate admits, and it puts additional pressure on her. Kate suggests that they keep their relationship a secret but Lucy’s not interested in being anyone’s secret. Before the conversation can get any more heated, or overheard by the approaching crowd, Kate cuts Lucy off and walks away.

During a break in their case, Ernie confronts Lucy about her relationship with Whistler. She admits that they’ve dated before and have been together, again, for a few weeks but things continue to be frustrating. She laments Kate’s interest in keeping their relationship a secret — after all, they’re adults and aren’t breaking any rules — and surmises that Kate’s just embarrassed to be with her.

Later, Kate stops by the office and apologizes for her behavior. She admits that she allowed a bad work call to impact their dynamics. Lucy asks directly if Kate’s embarrassed by her but Kate denies it: actually, she’s embarrassed by herself. She’s trying to be more expressive but it’s a hard adjustment. Recognizing that Kate’s making a sincere effort, Lucy agrees to keep their relationship between them. After all, Lucy flirtily offers: “secrets can be fun.”

Two points about this scene: first, how is it so completely devoid of emotion or warmth? Lucy is battered and bruised from an encounter with an assailant and Kate doesn’t show any concern about it? Even someone as compartmentalized at Kate would’ve had some visceral reaction to seeing their partner hurt, I’d think. Also? None of this makes sense if these two have dated before; surely this is a conversation that they would’ve already had.

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New Amsterdam 408: “Paid in Full”

Written by Natalie

As she prepares to take over as medical director of New Amsterdam, Veronica Fuentes is cleaning house. Though she claims its all about the budget, her real focus seems to be removing Max Goodwin’s fingerprints from the hospital, including getting rid of the doctors who are loyal to him and his vision. Lauren admits that Fuentes is extorting her to help fund the hospital but neglects to mention why (details, schmetails). Iggy’s convinced that Max will save them but Lauren notes that even if Max can save them now, in two weeks, he’s jetting off to England and they’ll be at Fuentes’ mercy.

Back in the ED, Lauren ribs Casey for not having the schedule done yet, a task made even more difficult by the additional resident. He doesn’t understand why the department has an extra resident but remains short on nurses. Lauren immediately gets defensive and snaps at Casey which causes him to consider how Bloom’s girlfriend got a slot in her ED. He confronts Lauren about the additional resident later and Lauren lets him know that she doesn’t appreciate the implication. But Casey knows Lauren and he knows when she’s lying…and she rushes to fill the silence with an explanation.

She admits that she bought Leyla’s seat but insists that everything was completely above board. If that were true, Casey points out, Lauren wouldn’t have hidden the truth from everyone. He warns that her actions undermine everything that Leyla’s worked for and Lauren admits he’s right. But then, the desperation that drove her to make the donation in the first place becomes evident, “Okay, but you get why I had to do it. I had to. Please, please don’t… please don’t say anything.” He cautions: when everyone finds out, she’ll lose everyone’s respect, just like she’s lost his.

Meanwhile, a ransomware attack strikes New Amsterdam and, short of paying the hackers 10M in cryptocurrency, there’s no immediate solution to getting the hospital back online. Max urges Fuentes to get the board to back a ransom payment but she resists unless he agrees to sign onto her proposed budget…a budget that would fire three dozen doctors, including Dr. Bloom. The attack causes chaos throughout the hospital and Max is forced to sign off on the budget. He does, however, manage to amend Fuentes’ proposal and — just like Iggy said — save Lauren, Iggy and Floyd from being fired. The consequence, though? Widespread firings, including Casey.

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Nancy Drew 305: “The Vision of the Birchwood Prisoner”

Written by Valerie Anne

No sign of Bess’s newest fling this week, but I think getting laid is putting a little extra spring in her step because she’s chipper as all get-out as she acts as a buffer between Temperance and Nancy, making sure to compliment them both the entire time. She agrees to be a distraction for the detective while Nancy and Bess do a magical mind meld with the serial killer in custody and dubs this trio “Team Nantempess” because she’s the cutest.

Bess does her best to distract the detective with tea, but her attempts are almost thwarted by a zombie cat. She tries to use it as an excuse to keep him there longer, having the detective help her dig a grave for the kitty even though he’s totally onto her.

Later, Bess confronts Temperance about the cat but she swears it died of natural causes and she just used it to get information. Bess realizes that Temperance is probably using her for her energy but when given an out, Bess decides to continue her tutelage.

Besides, they have a supernatural baddie to find, and they can probably use all the magical help they can get.

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Legacies 405: “I Thought You’d Be Happier to See Me”

Written by Valerie Anne

This week, Josie and Finch wake up together, ready to spend the day celebrating their big win, but then they hear Lizzie scream for Josie and learn that the twins’ dad is in the hospital…because of Hope.

Speaking of Hope, she’s out drinking and dancing with a lady she’s about to feed from when who should show up but the one, the only, REBEKAH MIKAELSON. Love of my life, queen of my heart, goddess amongst mortals, bisexual icon, and Hope’s Aunt Bex. Rebekah and Hope share a drink of the woman Hope was dancing with and Hope wants to finish draining her but Rebekah wants Hope to come home with her. She doesn’t understand why Hope is acting like this, she can’t imagine being a tribrid is THAT much different from being a vampire and then Hope gives her a smirk and Rebekah realizes that Hope turned off her humanity.

Rebekah tries to stab Hope with the dagger that her brothers so often used to tuck her away but before she can take Hope anywhere, the bartender snaps Rebekah’s neck because he wants to kidnap Hope. Hope wakes up and starts using him as a dartboard while trying to figure out who he works for. He reveals that he’s part of Triad, and that the “original bloodlines” want to destroy her. Hope threatens him but just as he’s about to give up the ghost his brand ignites and fries him.

When Rebekah wakes up, Hope gives her her mother’s necklace, her most prized possession, says “Always and forever” in a mocking tone that breaks my heart and leaves her aunt in the dust.

Meanwhile, the twins are trying to get their father to wake up from his coma by jumping into his mind, but his life is flashing before his eyes. He has a dramatic goodbye with Lizzie, and explains that one of the only reasons he took Hope in was so she would form a bond with his girls and protect them if things went south. And since the actor who plays their father is a garbage human, I’m hoping they’re actually writing him off, even though it would be devastating for the twins and also could cause an irreparable rift between them and Hope, who would be crushed once she turns her humanity back on, which I don’t LOVE. Maybe they can get his consciousness into a new body? We’ll see.

Boobs On Your Tube: The Lying (Down), The Witch, and The Werewolf

Hey there, homos! You have made it through the first week of November — congrats! Still don’t know what to stream this month? Riese has got you covered! JoJo Siwa landed in the bottom two of DWTS this week with her tango and Sally recapped the near-heartbreak! Valerie Anne recapped Supergirl and Legends of Tomorrow and both recaps made me cry? Batwoman didn’t go exactly how the TV Team hoped this week, but Nic made us feel better with her WildMoore slow-burn hype. Carmen recapped Twenties and really wants to remind you that it’s one of the best things going on TV right now and you need to get on it; this weekend is a perfect time to get caught up. And Christina is here with your weekly gay Morning Show update.

Notes from the TV Team:

+ OH MY HARD CANDY CHRISTMAS! — Heather

+ Storylines for Henrietta Wilson have been slim thus far on 9-1-1 but this week, the second year med student did decide on a specialty: general surgery. The decision comes after Hen is forced to serve as the hands of an injured prison doctor, in order to save the life of a guard injured in a breakout. — Natalie

+ I would have done a full recap of Home Economics but we have a lot going on this week (as you’re about to see!), so something had to give. This week Sarah and Denise are dealing with their tween daughter Shamiah not wanting to tell them about her little tween crush on a boy. At first they assume it’s because they’re gay, leading to some very deep belly laughs as they try to “straighten up” but it turns out that it’s just Shamiah thinks that her moms, like all moms, are out of touch and cringe. Perfect. — Carmen

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Hightown 203: “Fresh as a Daisy”

Written by Natalie

Thanks to a tip from his confidential informant, Jackie’s sergeant locates the body of a murdered drug dealer (Sean “Kizzle” Gandam) buried deep in the woods. The sergeant affixes blame for the murder on Junior and when he shares his suspicions with Jackie, she refuses to believe that Junior was capable of killing anyone. Despite the disagreement, her sergeant invites her to interview someone who might know about Junior’s actions: his girlfriend/baby mama, Donna. Still in the anger stage of the grieving process, Donna agrees that Junior could’ve killed Kizzle. Jackie follows her out and discovers that she’s working at Xavier’s, the strip club owned by the people who got Junior killed.

“When are you gonna fuckin’ get it, huh?” Donna asks. “It wasn’t Osito. It wasn’t Kizzel. It wasn’t anybody else that killed Junior. Junior killed Junior.”

After her run-in with Donna, Jackie question Osito in prison. She returns to the precinct to update her sergeant on her theory: Osito killed Kizzel for Junior. But rather than hear her out, he dismisses her entirely for having gone outside the chain of command. Instead, he dispatches her to join Leslie and do some “real police work.” With nothing happening at Xavier’s, talk between the new partners quickly turns to their night together. Leslie assures Jackie that they’re cool and brushes it off as a simple hook-up between co-workers. Jackie casually questions Leslie’s assessment — “That what that was? A hook-up?” — and there’s something about the way she says it that let’s you know, without a doubt, that their hook-up will not be a one-time thing.

Once they’re made by Jorge Cuevas, Jackie storms into Xavier’s to put both the cousins on notice. Her impulsive move earns her thinly veiled threats from them both and, though she cloaks it in criticism, Leslie’s impressed (read: turned on) by Jackie’s fearlessness. To make up for her misstep, Jackie invites Leslie to join her for dinner with her surrogate father/former partner, Ed, and his wife. The dinner, even with its moments of awkwardness (Ed’s wife asking Leslie if she was a lesbian, for example), feels like the most at ease that we’ve ever seen Jackie. The easy rapport Ed and Jackie have, the way Leslie fits into Jackie’s other world…it’s a reminder of how far addiction kept her from normalcy.

After dinner, Jackie gets a call from Donna who passes on some information she overheard at Xavier’s: Jorge is pimping out his new girlfriend. Jackie immediately shares the news with Leslie and they relish the opportunity to turn the girlfriend into a confidential informant. The two celebrate their progress by falling into bed together again.

This time, though, it’s a top-off! Jackie tries to go down on Leslie but she pulls her back up and insists on pleasuring Jackie this time. Leslie rolls them over and tries to top Jackie but she will not allow it. She pulls back on Leslie’s hair, says a firm, but sexy, no, and reclaims her place on top of her partner. It’s hot — and especially impressive, given that Monica Raymund was both the talent and the director — but now I have so many questions.

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All American 402: “I Ain’t Goin’ Out Like That”

Written by Natalie

Since the shooting, things between Patience and Coop have been strained…and the distance between them only widens as they share breakfast before school. Coop’s busy, wrapped up in preparing to return to the studio, and Patience has to text her just to get her attention. Patience questions Coop’s decision to get back into the studio so soon and Coop immediately gets defensive about it. Patience laments the distance between them lately — she didn’t even know Coop was planning to go into the studio — but Coop brushes her off and ushers Patience off to school.

Later, as she’s getting ready to go meet Coop at the studio, Patience’s dad interrupts her to talk about Coop. While he’s been supportive of their relationship in the past, Coop’s list of transgressions continues to grow. He’s understandably worried about his daughter’s safety if she and Coop stay together, as trouble seems to follow Coop wherever she goes. Though Patience tries to offer some defense of the woman she loves, the reality is, her father’s only vocalizing thoughts she’s already had. Patience goes into her next meeting with Coop looking for some affirmation that battling through all the drama is worthwhile — some proof that she matters to Coop — and, when Coop doesn’t offer any, Patience is ready to let go.

“We are together so your problems are my problems. And if you don’t get that, like…,” Patience cries, her voice full of emotion. “I don’t even know what else to say. I think maybe we should just…”

Realizing that she’s about to lose Patience, Coop finally speaks up: Mo’s bullet might not have killed her but it may have killed her rap career. The bullet damaged her lungs and her doctor said that she might never regain lung capacity. Coop admits that during her studio session, she couldn’t even get through one song…and she wonders if she ever will again. Patience embraces Coop but, later at Layla’s party, she’s clearly frustrated that it took nearly breaking up for Coop to tell her the truth. When she confesses that to Spencer, he’s his usual optimistic self, assuring Patience that their relationship will be fine and Coop can fully recover if Patience is by her side.

Meanwhile, though, Coop’s commiserating with Asher and throwing a pity party for herself. By the end of the evening, Coop is convinced nothing else really matters anymore; hope is futile. She dismisses Patience’s suggestion to get a second opinion on her condition and pronounces her music dreams dead. Her insolence pushes Patience away, leaving Coop to reach out to the other person she trusts the most: Preach.

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NCIS: Hawai’i 106: “The Tourist”

Written by Natalie

Last we checked in with NCIS: Hawai’i, Kate suggested to Lucy that they keep their relationship strictly professional. Though she had her objections, Lucy begrudgingly agreed and the couple’s been stuck in this stasis ever since…that is, until this week when their paths cross as part of an investigation.

Lucy and her team are called to the scene of kidnapping: Kayla Barlow, an Instagram influencer/wife of a Navy officer, disappears during a luau. At first, the team guesses that the kidnapping is tied to the husband — after all, he’s a weapons officer with top secret clearance — but when the alleged kidnapper turns up dead and Kayla is still on the run, the team realizes something else is afoot. Jane notices a pattern in Kayla’s Instagram comments and realizes that Kayla’s been communicating with someone in code. When Ernie tracks down the accounts at the other end of Kayla’s messages, they all lead back to the same place: the alleged kidnapper. Just when Jane is starting to put the pieces together — the “kidnapper” was Kayla’s handler and they worked on intelligence missions together — Kate (a DIA officer, you’ll recall) shows up and shuts the investigation down.

Though Kate’s presence corroborates Jane’s suspicions, she doesn’t give anything else away, including any insight on how the DIA plans to get Kayla Barlow back. Things grow tense and Jane dismisses Kate. Lucy follows her out and questions about how they’re supposed to break the news to Kayla’s distraught husband. Kate’s not interested in coddling the husband’s hurt feelings.

“I’m given orders. Orders that come before relationships and love and feelings,” Kate explains.

“We still talking about Kayla Barlowe?” Lucy asks, turning the conversation personal. Kate swears her words have nothing to do with what happened between them but she is, clearly, undone by the inquiry and makes a quick escape.

But, of course, Jane and the team don’t actually back down: they regroup and continue the search for Kayla. They find her but the Russian operatives that have been searching for Kayla scoop her husband up instead. When word gets back to Kate that the team has Kayla, she returns to NCIS to collect her asset. Jane asks for a little cooperation to help NCIS find Kayla’s husband but Kate’s not particularly interested in helping them, given their dirty play. Eventually, though, they agree to work together — with Kate calling in an FBI team to help save the day — and they arrest the Russian hit squad and save Kayla and her husband.

After the case is closed, Lucy catches up with Kate in the parking deck and thanks her for her help. Kate admits that it’s not always easy being the bad cop but Lucy assures her that she doesn’t think of her as bad, she thinks Kate is amazing. Lucy draws close and then pulls back slightly to invite Kate to join her for a drink. Instead of answering, Kate closes the distance between them and initiates a kiss.

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New Amsterdam 407: “Harmony”

Written by Natalie

It all starts out so adorably: Lauren and Leyla locked in their own little world. Lauren withholds Leyla’s breakfast parfait until her girlfriend can correctly answer questions in preparation for an upcoming review. After she gets a spoonful of yogurt, Leyla just looks at Lauren with so much love and gratitude. For a minute, I get lost in the sweetness of it all — I have wanted nothing but love for Dr. Bloom since I started watching New Amsterdam (though, admittedly, I’d hoped it would be with Dr. Sharpe) — but then Leyla tells Lauren, “none of it [would be] possible without you” and I’m snapped out of my revelry. One day, Leyla will find out exactly how possible Lauren made this moment and fear that’ll be the end of their relationship. And worse yet? That moment might be coming sooner than I’d imagined.

There’s an ambulance accident just outside the hospital and Lauren mobilizes the ED to respond to the incoming traumas. The show misses the opportunity to showcase Lauren’s trauma for the previous ambulance accident, only allowing Max to recall the horror of that day. Still, though, the past trauma resonates: Lauren grows obsessed with finding out why the accident happened.

As she searches for answers, she’s approached by Dr. Veronica Fuentes, the hospital’s soon-to-be medical director. Fuentes thanks Bloom for her donation to the Dean’s discretionary fund. Lauren’s clearly taken aback about being called out and asks Fuentes to keep her family’s donation confidential. Lauren minimizes the donation — calling it “nothing special” and something her family does all the time — and Fuentes suggests making another donation, this time to the hospital’s endowment. Lauren considers it but says she has to talk to her family and their lawyer first. But if there was ever any doubt about Dr. Fuentes’ intentions, she makes it clear when she asks, “is Dr. Shinwari involved? If so, I’d like to extend my gratitude to her as well.”

“No,” Lauren insists. “I mean, she doesn’t know we do this and I’d like to keep it that way.”

Fuentes encourages Lauren to think about a gift to the endowment and assures her that Leyla doesn’t have to know about that gift either. The implication is clear: Fuentes knows that Lauren bought Leyla’s place in the residency program and, without a donation to the hospital’s endowment, she’ll expose Lauren’s misdeed. It would put her career, her medical license and her relationship at risk…and Lauren cannot abide that. She calls the family attorney and leaves a message about making another donation to New Amsterdam.

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Nancy Drew 304: “The Demon of Piper Beach”

Written by Valerie Anne

This episode features one of my favorite sci-fi tropes: curated nightmares! It’s such a fun, fascinating way to get into characters’ psyches, and this episode did not disappoint. Horseshoe Bay’s favorite queer lady’s nightmare, for example, was about not being allowed to be a Woman in White; at least on the surface. What we learn is Bess’s fears go a little deeper; it’s about being left out, underestimated, discounted. Being perceived to be not good enough, or worse, being not good enough.

The nightmares escalate, spreading through the town and causing dangerous sleepwalking situations, but Bess’s ideas and opinions are brushed off at every turn until she storms off. When she comes back with a potential magical solution, she realizes everyone else has fallen into a sleep she can’t rouse them from and she’s on her own. She calls her roommate Ryan for help, and now that she’s without her friends she’s starting to doubt herself, but he has no hesitation; he believes in her.

She uses some magic to lucid dream her way into the Drew Crew’s nightmares, gathers them up the Bess Bus and gives them a piece of her mind. She’s sick of not being taken seriously, and she knows that they love her but she wants them to respect her. So they sit back and lets Bess take the wheel, literally and figuratively. They get to the beach where the boss battle will take place, and they all shout their encouragement as Bess takes the sandman down.

When the danger passes and everyone wakes up, they apologize to Bess for doubting her, and she asks for their support in starting her own, newer, better, good-er coven of Women in White, and Nancy says she’ll be great. I’m THRILLED for more Witchy Bess.

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Legacies 404: “See You on the Other Side”

Written by Valerie Anne

Whew this episode was a RIDE. We open with Hope in limbo, the Ferryman trying to take her to peace. But ultimately she knows she can’t abandon her definitely-in-danger found family on the off-chance her blood family is waiting in the light for her, so she wakes up. The world is too loud and the lights are too bright but she’s alive…sort of. She is the Tribrid.

Josie tries to find a way to get Landon and Cleo out of Malavore’s void, so she assembles a Super Sub-Squad, including Finch, to keep everyone safe while she does black magic. Finch does her best, and does stop the spell before it’s totally done, but it’s too late: Dark Josie is back.

But despite Dark Josie’s best attempts, Finch is not intimidated. She sees what’s going on and she tells Josie that while she’s fighting to keep her two sides separate, she’ll always be struggling. She’s not Light Josie and Dark Josie. She’s Josie. And until Josie can learn to love her dark side, Finch will love it enough for the both of them. Finch kisses her, and suddenly she’s Josie again; just Josie, two halves made whole. With newfound motivation, she rallies her Sub-Squad again and summons Cleo without losing control.

Meanwhile, Landon momentarily gains control of his body again, and says goodbye to Hope. She says always, he says forever, then Hope fulfills her destiny and my dreams and kills Landon. Maybe for good this time.

Back at school, Finch is still stressed about the Merge, and Josie does want to talk about that, but for now, they should celebrate their win with a different kind of magic. They fall onto the bed together and there’s wolfing out and magic fireworks and sexy, sexy magic.

Oh also? Hope turns off her humanity to avoid all those pesky feelings. Should be fine!

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Queens 103: “Who You Calling a Bitch?”

Written by Carmen

Last week on Queens we did a tour through the last twenty years of Jill’s rise to stardom as Da Thrill in her late 90s rap group Nasty Bitches and all her internalized homophobia (and related drug problem) that came with it. But this week we’re firmly in the present! And in the present the newly out Jill has been dubbed the “Hottest Lesbian in the World.”

That title comes from Alicia, a reporter form Out Magazine who is doing a profile on Jill as the group prepares their reunion tour following a straight up disastrous performance. The Nasty Bitches have a lot to learn, including potentially changing their name to Queens (I thought this had happened in the pilot episode for some reason? So I’m sorry to have mislead you!). There are points to be made on both side (I thought referencing that Hillary had been referred to as “nasty” in 2016 and AOC was referenced as a “bitch” just last year) — but after a straight up stunner of a rap battle between Eve and Brandy, ultimately the name change becomes permanent.

But back to Jill! Alicia, the very cute interviewer, can’t stop herself from flirting with her interview subject — which is highly unprofessional, but I also understand that Jill has Naturi Naughton’s face and so here we are. First Alicia invites Jill out with a group of her friends at a gay bar, which is filled of so many hilarious stereotypes in a one minute mark it almost makes your head spin (a brief, incomplete rundown: “baby gay,” “pillow princess,” Janelle Monáe playing overhead).

Later, Alicia invites Jill out to dinner to make her ex jealous, which Jill didn’t realize until she got there. When Alicia gets a little aggressive with her flirting, putting her hand a little high up on Jill’s thigh for comfort if you ask me — Jill books it out of there. That same night Alicia shows up at Jill’s hotel room door and — as we later find out during a montage — Jill invites her in, officially cheating on her girlfriend back home, Tina. Which is so heartbreaking to me! Alicia is hot, but I really liked Tina! It’s all too much. How can one choose?

Boobs on Your Tube: ABC Reunites the Nasty Bitches, Crowns Them Queens

Oh hey, did you see that Autostraddle TV Team original member Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya is our new MANAGING EDITOR? YES SHE IS! Join our whole TV Team in congratulating her! This week, Drew watched about ten billion films out of NewFest and wrote about several of them, including: Leading Ladies, Death and Bowling, The Novice, Love, Spells and All That, and a whole bunch of shorts. Also! Christina recapped The Morning Show, Carmen recapped Twenties, Valerie Anne recapped Legends of Tomorrow and Supergirl, and Nic recapped Batwoman. And also we shared an exclusive clip from Girl In The Woods.

Notes from the TV Team:

+ I have been watching Our Kind of People on Fox because I want to recap it for y’all, but literally none of these episodes make sense? I’m not saying that I’m not enjoying them! But also once its over I have no memory of what happened. Anyway watch if you want to see Black Lesbian Teens^TM and a lot of campy drama straight out of Empire’s playbook. — Carmen

+ Coming soon, to the CW: All American returns for its fourth season on Monday and 4400, a reboot of the cult classic, debuts afterwards at 9PM. — Natalie

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New Amsterdam 405: “This Be the Verse”

Written by Natalie

Lauren Bloom’s earliest memory is hearing her father call her mother a drunk. Once she understood what that meant, she did everything she could to keep her mother from drinking, including downing half of her mother’s martini — “the more [she] drank,” she thought, “the less [her mother] could” — at the tender age of seven. Those early moments set the course for both of their lives and cement their lifelong tumultuous relationship. But what if the thing you thought you knew about the people closest to you, turned out to be wrong? That’s the question at the center of this week’s episode of New Amsterdam.

The hospital’s incoming medical director is already making their presence felt by slashing the Emergency Department’s budget but Leyla refuses to let Lauren wallow. They’re finally back on the same shift and tonight they get to enjoy a romantic dinner together. Lauren adopts her girlfriend’s optimism and pledges to not let anything ruin her day…but as soon as the words are out of her mouth, she hears her name being called by a familiar voice. It’s her mother, Jeanie!

Her mother complains of a stabbing pain in her lower abdomen and Leyla rushes to her side. Lauren is unmoved — literally — and assures Dr. Shinwari that she need not investigate the pain any further. Her mother’s not in pain, Lauren laments, she’s just trying to score pills. She notes her mother’s constricted pupils as evidence that she’s just looking to get high. Jeanie tries to convince her daughter that her pain is real but Lauren refuses to believe her. With a tear rolling down her cheek, Lauren blasts her mother for trying to make her the accomplice in her scheme.

“She doesn’t need a doctor, she needs a shovel so she can finish off the job,” Lauren snaps.

But later in the ED, Lauren hears her mother’s voice and finds Jeanie and Leyla tucked behind a curtain. Bloom pulls her resident aside and asks if she realizes that she’s being used. Leyla concedes that maybe she is but she admitted Jeanie and ordered a rapid detox so that she can make an informed decision. Every bit of the warmness and cuteness that we’ve seen from Lauren this season is gone: she’s cold and unforgiving when it comes to her mother. She assures Leyla that her mother will do anything to get her next fix but Leyla’s committed to seeing if Jeanie’s pain is real. Lauren scoffs and wishes her luck.

When Lauren discovers that Leyla’s prescribed pills for her mother, she storms back in and tries to shove Jeanie out the door. She criticizes Leyla for giving narcotics to a known drug addict but Leyla assures her, she never gave Jeanie the pills. The promise of pills calmed Jeanie enough to conduct an ultrasound which revealed an enlarged spleen. Leyla’s preliminary diagnosis is Lyme Disease but Lauren rejects it: her mother has an enlarged spleen because of her alcoholism and she’s known it for years. Lauren cancels the prescription order and tells her mom to go score somewhere else.

Tired of being bullied, Jeanie lashes out, reminding Lauren that she’s also an addict. When she realizes that Lauren and Leyla are together, she seizes on it and uses it as a cudgel to beat up on Lauren more. Lauren screams, ordering her mother out of the ED — even as she groans in pain — and gives her a prescription for the pills she wants. Lauren retreats and Leyla catches up to her, urging her, again, to look at her mother’s ultrasound. Lauren’s dismissive at first — and a little hurt that Leyla’s not more concerned about her emotional well-being (a valid point!) — but eventually gives into Leyla’s persistance. It’s not alcoholism or Lyme Disease, Lauren recognizes after looking at the scans, it’s endometriosis. Her mother was telling the truth and, maybe, has been self-medicating this entire time.

“I’ve judged you my whole life. I mean, I’ve thought awful things. But you were in pain, and you needed my help,” Lauren tearfully confesses at her mother’s bedside. “And I am a doctor, I’m your daughter. I…I should have…I am just really sorry, Mom.”

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American Horror Story 1010: “The Future Perfect”

Written by Drew

American Horror Story: Double Feature has ended with a fun and satisfying finale. This half season continues to be far superior in its past storyline, but here the two merge giving Death Valley the best of its four episodes.

Mamie Eisenhower is Deep Throat and still alive in 2021. If this is indeed Sarah Paulson’s last time on American Horror Story, she’s found a fitting end. It’s all so silly and yet so well-played — it really does justice to the 1950s sci-fi it’s riffing on.

This episode also gives half-alien Angelica Ross the most to do and it’s so much fun watching her spar with Paulson. Unfortunately, the episode is still undercut by Kaia Gerber’s performance but fortunately her character is decapitated and turned into a baby machine for the last part of the episode.

Neither Red Tide or Death Valley were perfect, but they both had so many pleasures. The shorter episode runs for these stories works really well and I’d gladly welcome this format again. I just wish the show would focus more on its interesting characters and talented actors and get less attached to having boring cishet white protagonists!

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Hightown 201: “Great White”

Written by Natalie

When Hightown returns for its second season, it looks like Jackie Quiñones has finally got her shit together. Gone is the Provincetown party girl, who drank and snorted and fucked until the sun came up…now, Jackie’s 50 days sober and regularly attending meetings. Even when it looks like she might be regressing — buying drugs from a local dealer on Halloween — she’s really just being proactive: attempting to build a case for the narcotics unit of the Massachusetts State Police. But tattooed on her left breast is “Junior,” the name of her former sponsor, her surrogate brother and best friend…a reminder that the ghosts of Hightown‘s first season still haunt her. She’s traded one addiction for another: Jackie wants, desperately, to avenge Junior’s death and hold those responsible for it — namely drug kingpin, Frankie Cuevas — accountable.

Realizing that she won’t be able to accomplish her goal through her liaison position — which offers her a one day respite from work as a National Marine Fisheries Service Agent — Jackie tries to draw closer to the State Police. She allies herself with Leslie Babcock, the only other woman working in the unit, and continues to support Ray Abruzzo — her unlikely partner from last season — in his bid for reinstatement. But when Ray’s hearing goes awry, Jackie sees an opportunity: she approaches the unit’s new lieutenant and convinces him to turn her liaison position into a (probationary) full-time gig.

After a visit to Junior’s memorial, Jackie shares the news of her new job with her surrogate dad/Fisheries partner, Ed. He laments how things have changed on the Cape and asks Jackie why she has to be the one to tackle the Cape’s drug problem.

“I don’t know,” Jackie admits. “I just do.”

The next day, she’s on the streets with Babcock, ready to take down whoever’s selling the “Great White” that’s killed three kids already. Unbeknownst to them both, they drive right by the guy who’s likely going to cause headaches for them all season.

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Home Economics 205: “Giant Jenga, $120”

Written by Carmen

This week on Home Economics it’s game night, which has already been turned up to a level 10 situation because Connor’s new girlfriend (Jessica) is actually his brother Tom’s old girlfriend from when they were all kids at camp. Except Conner never knew that because Tom always referred to her as “Camp Girl.”

The story about Camp Girl is that she was Tom’s like true summer love girlfriend and he fell so deep, then she stood him up for the end-of-summer dance and it broke his little teen heart into a thousand tiny teen pieces. He spent the whole car ride home crying about it to his sister Sarah.

Now Camp Girl is a chapter in (adult) Tom’s new book. If she’s coming to game night, Tom wants to know who she left him for all those years ago.

And this is where the plot thickens, my friends! Sarah pulls Denise aside and confesses to her wife that “the guy” that Camp Girl left Tom for? It was her all along! LE GASP. No but seriously, one of the best parts of the episode was Sasheer Zamata long pause gasp face, eyes wide, as she says.. “Wait is Camp Girl, Dock Girl?”

(How many nicknames did poor Jessica have!)

So Dock Girl was the first girl Sarah ever loved and she had no idea that Jessica felt the same way, until the night of the end-of-summer dance when Jessica stood Tom up and came to the docks, giving Sarah first gay kiss.

Tom doesn’t know and Sarah makes it her business to keep it that way! First pulling Jessica aside into a storage closet (Jessica assumes that Sarah is trying to hit on her and holds her face in her hands! It’s very cute) and asking Jessica to please keep the secret. Jessica also uses this moment to confess to Sarah that their dock kiss was monumental for her too, that’s how she discovered she was bisexual.

A comedy of errors ensues and it ends with Sarah spilling the beans on the big secret herself anyway!

After discovering the truth, Tom has a heart-to-heart with his sister. In a surprisingly serious and heart thumping moment for a family sitcom, tears weld up in Sarah’s eyes and her voice cracks, explaining why she kept the secret when they were teenagers, “I had feelings for a girl for the first time ever, and I was ashamed and confused, if I told you the truth then… it would’ve meant coming out.. and I couldn’t even come out to myself.”

Tom understands. After all, as he tells Sarah, “This whole time I thought Jessica was a chapter in my book, but she really was a chapter in yours.”

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Queens 101: “1999”

Written by Carmen

In 1999 there was a (fake) rap group named the Nasty Bitches, starring some very real 90s-2000s R&B and rap stars. And on that very premise alone ABC’s new nighttime soap Queens had me hooked.

Who do we have? Professor Sex is played by Eve (from the Ruff Ryders, her name on the show? Brianna), Xplicit Lyrics is Brandy (from everywhere in the 90s, on the show? Naomi), and Butter Pecan, an unfortunate but historical accurate nickname for Puerto Rican, is played by Nadine Velazquez (she’ll be Valeria, and Nadine is the only not famous former musician in the cast, which is… a choice). For our very gay needs there is Da Thrill played by Naturi Naughton from 3LW (she’ll be Jill, let’s get going).

20 years later and now Jill is a conservative Catholic living in Montana with her husband Darren.

The only glimpse we get of the real Jill is when Tina, her secret girlfriend, comes over in a Prince shirt and flannel to check on her. A quick hug turns into a long embrace, eyes meet, then flicker down to lips, the mood shifts. Jill pushes Tina in just a little, like it’s a magnet, and then they are kissing. Tina graces under her breast, through the sweater. They both gasp. And then.. Jill pushes away.

She can’t do this. She promised Tina that she would tell Darren about them, and she hasn’t. She’s still battling with the internalized homophobia she’s had since she was a kid. Tina knows that Jill loves her, but she’s unwilling to being anyone’s secret.

When the “Nasty Bitches” (they’re going by “Queens” now because.. they’re in their 40s) reunite, Jill starts to find more of her past self. Which is great because while I love Naturi Naughton in pretty much anything (she was my favorite part of the original Power series and her take on Lil Kim in Notorious is legendary), “church girl” really doesn’t play to her strengths.

The group saves a new up-and-coming rapper — modeled somewhere in the vein of Doja Cat meets Megan Thee Stallion… I guess? — from a drug overdose largely due to Jill’s advocacy (she even punches the girl’s manager out, for good measure). Then she confesses to her friends, she’s gay. And she loves Tina.

It’s a start. The bigger leap comes later on stage, when as Da Thrill, Jill changes all the lyrics to to the group’s biggest hit to be about Tina live from the stage — Tina watches at home, mouth agape.

Here we go!

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Legacies 401 & 402: “You Have to Pick One This Time” & “There’s No I In Team, Or Whatever”

Written by Valerie Anne

The witches are back just in time for Halloween! Hope is still hung up on that sentient jar of mayonnaise but, because of pandemic complications, the first four episodes of this season were originally intended to be part of Season 3, so I have faith that we’ll move away from our Malavore Maladies soon enough.

I also have no idea if Finch will be around much longer, because while Finch and Josie had some really cute scenes in these first two episodes of the season, things went awry… Finch wants to get to know Josie (and Lizzie!) better, so she bonds with them using personality quizzes (I wonder which Gen Q character they are) and Finch volunteers to be siphoned, and being a source of energy for her girlfriend was such a cute metaphor I was ready to RUN WITH. Josie even invites Finch to visit Caroline in Europe with her over break! But along the way, Finch also learns that Josie and Lizzie are Gemini witches, and twins at that, so Josie has no choice but to tell her about The Merge.

And Finch isn’t sure she wants Josie’s baggage without a lifetime guarantee. She doesn’t want to watch her die. So instead she says Goodbye, Love and leaves Josie crying on a park bench. I’m still rooting for those supernatural kids but also wouldn’t be mad if Josie finds comfort in Hope’s open arms. Just saying.

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Nancy Drew 302: “The Journey of the Dangerous Mind”

Written by Valerie Anne

Y’all should we be worried about Bess Marvin? That sweet baby angel is dabbling with magic, which is cute and fun especially since her first spell was to protect her buddy Ace, but she’s decided to learn it from Nancy’s ancestry Temperance. Temperance tells Bess she’s destined for greatness in a way that frankly sounded a little groom-y, and Temperance has all the characteristics of someone Bess could easily fall for: short hair and soft features like Lisbeth, blonde hair and an old supernatural soul like Odette. Also the spell she did might have affected Temperance’s cat?? Unclear. I’m all for Bess and Temperance recreating Under Your Spell from Buffy but I just hope Bess’s friend make sure she’s protecting her heart in the process.

Boobs on Your Tube: New Amsterdam Keeps Saying Love Is Not a Lie But THAT’S Also a Lie!

Well hello and happy Game Three Night of the 2021 WNBA Playoffs, starring many queer pals and my number three queer enemy, Diana Taurasi, and airing on ESPN2 at 9pm!

This week, the gay shenanigans kept on happening on The Morning Show and Christina kept on writing about it! Drew kicked off her NewFest coverage with a review of Ruth Caudeli’s Leading Ladies. Shelli, Dani, Natalie, and Carmen got together to talk about Blackness and The L Word: Generation Q‘s second season. Batwoman came back to us, and Nic recapped it! Legends of Tomorrow went full circus, and Valerie Anne recapped it! Supergirl headed down the homestretch, and Valerie Anne recapped that too. Also! Here’s a special treat: Carmen is recapping again and this time it’s season two of Twenties! She’s gonna recap the whole season! (If you’re on the fence, we also posted an exclusive clip of Twenties which you should watch if you haven’t seen the S2 premiere yet!) Heather counted down some of your fave queer women and non-binary babes in top hats in response to that Timothee Chalamet Willy Wonka photo. Drew and Analyssa podcated The L Word: Generation Q season two finale. Riese made you a quiz to tell you which Gen Q character you are. I got Angie so I win but you should still take the quiz!

And finally, another piece of exhaustive Riese Bernard research: An Obsessive Analysis of the Timeline of The L Word Generation Q Season Two.

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Notes from the TV Team:

+ Tonight is the premiere of NBC’s new reality series (created by Ava DuVernay) Home Sweet Home, each episode will focus on  two families as they  switch lives as they move into each other’s homes, cook the other other’s recipes, take part in each other’s daily traditions, and all those warm feelings. But I am here to tell you that IT IS GAY and also we have a clip for you!

Home Sweet Home airs tonight at 8pm/7pm central on NBC. — Carmen

+ On Station 19, Carina and Maya have a lot cry-fights continuing about if they would have a baby, this time ending with Maya (who saved a young boy earlier in the day) believing that maybe she could do this after all… one day. And maybe, jsut maybe, “one day” is good enough for Carina. For now. — Carmen

+ On Grey’s Anatomy, there is technically nothing gay to report… but also? I swear Amelia keeps making eyes at this cute non-binary doctor in Minnesota. Y’all see it right? I’m not alone in this. — Carmen

+ Legacies is back! I am on vacation this week so I didn’t get to watch it in time but I’ll be back with any queer teen witch/werewolf updates next week! — Valerie Anne

+ Some returns to look forward to this week: the third season of You on Netflix drops today…I’m unsure if the gay moment from the trailer will actually lead anywhere but, at the very least, you get queer actress, Shalita Grant, in the new season; Fear of the Walking Dead (AMC) returns Sunday to level up your spooky season; also on Sunday, Monica Raymund returns as newly minted police officer Jackie Quinones on Hightown (STARZ); and hip-hop drama Queens (ABC) debuts on Tuesday! — Natalie

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Roswell, New Mexico 312 & 313: “I Ain’t Goin’ Out Like That” & “Never Let You Go”

Written by Valerie Anne

In the two-part season finale of Roswell, New Mexico, things get stressful fast. At the peak of her anxiety about the whole brother-body-swapped-with-an-evil-clone-and-neither-can-live-while-the-other-survives situation, Isobel decides to try to channel what Anatsa taught her and do some archery. But what she quickly realizes is that she doesn’t want to be alone behind the walls she built, so she goes to her chosen family and hugs her sisters, Maria and Rosa, tight. Together, they remake Isobel’s badass alien sword and head back into the fray.

Relationship-wise, Kyle admitted to Maria that he has feelings for Isobel, and she tells him Isobel is seeing someone, but I still have a bad feeling about this. I was extra worried after the battle was done and they kind of won and Isobel asked Kyle for a dance, but they are blissfully interrupted by Anatsa, and she and Isobel kiss a lot. Isobel invites Kyle to stay for drinks, implying to ME that her feelings for him are still platonic, but he declines and leaves Isobel and Anatsa to their smooching.

Also? The very last scene?? While not necessarily gay beyond the original Roswell being a core memory for this particular queer, a new character enters the fold, an ex-teacher of Liz’s…played by SHIRI APPLEBY. When I say I yelped.

Thrilled this show will be back for another season! I have really enjoyed it and I’m looking forward to more alien shenanigans.

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Nancy Drew 301: “”The Warning of the Frozen Heart” “

Written by Valerie Anne

The Drew Crew is back! In a delightful return to Horseshoe Bay, we pick up a week after we left off, with sweet Bess’s heart still smarting from the love of her life being trapped in her best friend’s body and going permanently dormant. In an effort to never get her heart broken by an old-timey lesbian ghost ever again, Bess is making her way through all the queer ladies in Maine, trying to have some fun and drown out her very loud feelings. No Aglaeca pun intended. Luckily (?) something else comes along to distract her: a mystery. In the form of dead bodies with frozen hearts showing up. After Nancy finds out about her link to the crimes, meets an ancestor back from the dead, and gets rejected from Columbia, she realizes that she can probably never leave Horseshoe Bay…but more importantly, she realizes she doesn’t want to. This is where her family is, blood and chosen, and she’s not going anywhere. Which is great because the show is named after her Bess probably couldn’t handle a friend/roomie breakup on top of everything else she’s going through.

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New Amsterdam 404: “Seed Money”

Written by Natalie

Lauren Bloom is sprung. If you’ve watched New Amsterdam from the beginning, you know how improbable this is. I want to just revel on how cute this all is but the cuteness just adds to my dread. Sometime soon, that other shoe is going to drop…a considering how high Lauren is on love right now, the fall is going to be painful.

For now, though, Lauren’s so cute: she rushes into the hospital before her shift, armed with coffee and bagels, to catch up with her girlfriend. Instead of finding Leyla in the supply closet, though, she finds another sleeping resident. Frustrated that she and Leyla are passing each other like ships in the night, Bloom walks into the ED and changes the schedule: moving Leyla back to the day shift with her. Unused to feeling this level of desperation for someone else, Lauren reaches out to Iggy Frome, the head of the psychiatry department, for help. She’s convinced that going days without seeing Leyla is making her insane.

Iggy tries to assure her that she’s just missing her girlfriend but Lauren insists it’s something more. She’s not just missing Leyla, she needs her…she’s craving her. He asks Bloom about her behavior and discovers that she’s using her authority to make things easier for herself. Lauren realizes that she’s turning Leyla into her new drug but Iggy doesn’t share her concern, yet. He applauds her for recognizing her own misbehavior and pushes her to go see her sponsor (which I’m not even sure she has) and focus on her triggers. But, of course, she doesn’t do that; instead, when Bloom gets a break, she calls Leyla.

“I… I know you’re sleeping….I just called, uh… because I miss you,” Lauren rambles. “I know that’s weird and, um, very creepy, but just… I miss the smell of it. I don’t know. It’s… I don’t know, like, you, warm and rosy, fresh out of the shower. I can’t…” Leyla’s voicemail cuts her off before she can add the last part: “I can’t stand being away from you.” She glances over at the Emergency Department’s schedule, torn between wanting to be with Leyla and not abusing her power as the head of ED. Eventually, though, she corrects her misttep: switching Leyla back to the night shift, much to the consternation of Dr. Walsh.

Later, Bloom returns to an empty house, Leyla having gone back to work at New Amsterdam, but her girlfriend left her a gift: a shirt, bathed in Leyla’s scent, with a note reminding her that she’s still there. Again, very, very cute…but the fall is coming…and I worry that the return of Lauren Bloom’s mother next week could hasten it.

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Work in Progress 210: “I Release You”

Written by Drew

There’s a good chance this episode will be the last we see of Abby and if this is indeed the end, I just want to say how grateful I am for these two seasons of extremely queer and open-hearted television.

Over the course of its 18 episodes, Work in Progress has taken Abby and the people around her on so many journeys of self-improvement, forgiveness, and, well, progress. Queer and trans people are deeply traumatized and often take this trauma out on one another. Work in Progress showed another way. It did not excuse Abby’s behavior or the harmful behaviors of others. But it did suggest that we are better than our worst choices.

Theo Germaine finally returned as Chris and his conversation with Abby mirrors the conversation that ended season one. The feelings are less sharp, the hurt is in the past, but the quiet devastation remains. These are two people who care about each other and just couldn’t make it work. They know that. But forgiveness from each other isn’t the same as forgiveness from oneself. I love how this scene manages to feel like a conclusion and a beginning all at once — not a new beginning for these two together, but a beginning for them apart.

I’ve already written a lot of words about this show, but I just love it a lot and I really hope we do get a season three!!

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American Horror Story 1009: “Blue Moon”

Written by Drew

This week on the first half of American Horror Story is delightful and the second half is absurd… the absurdity is fun!

Sarah Paulson continues to delight as Mamie Eisenhower who is evil and fucking aliens* even though she’s no longer possessed by one. Our alternate history finds the creation of Area 51 and the murders of Marilyn Monroe and JFK and the whole thing is a campy delight.

Then we go back to the testing facility where Leslie Grossman gets to shine as we find out her backstory which involves a threesome with Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong and learning just a bit too much for her own good.

I’ve been harsh on the cast of the latter half but Isaac Powell does some really good work as Troy gives birth to a beautiful and soon-to-be-murdered alien baby. What’s ABSURD is the suggestion that Troy and Cal — two gay boys in their early 20s — are sooo attached to the idea of becoming parents. Ryan Murphy is simply addicted to forcing heteronormativity on young gays!! The emotional weight of their desire to “start a family” on this alien lair feels very hollow and while the body horror and final twist don’t need sense to be a good time imagine all the possibilities that could be explored if Angelica Ross wasn’t relegated to ominous alien or if another trans performer was cast as a main character? Why force this storyline when even the slightest understand of the trans experience could’ve led to something so much more interesting? Sorry, sorry, I will return my expectations back to where they belong.

*Okay, fine, technically she’s fucking an alien-created robot.

Boobs on Your Tube: Maya and Carina Learn the Art of Married Squabble-Sex on “Station 19”

Hello, friends, and welcome to the kick-off weekend for the WNBA Finals! I don’t know about y’all but me (Heather) and Natalie have been enjoying the HECK out of watching all these gay couples play basketball! What else? Well, Drew reviewed Titane, which she loved! Abeni interviewed non-binary climber Lor Sabourin about their new film They/Them. Drew and Analyssa podcasted the latest episode of Gen Q. Riese recapped this week’s ep of Gen Q. Valerie recapped the happy lesbian supermom family of Supergirl. And The Morning Show got EVEN GAYER, which, of course, Christina was right on top of.

Notes from the TV Team:

+ It’s a big week for fall returns: Leverage: Redemption drops the second half of its first season today on IMDBtv; Nancy Drew returns for its third season tonight on the CW; Queen Latifah’s The Equalizer kicks off its second season on Sunday; the new season of The Baby-Sitters Club debuts on Netflix on Monday and the Arrowverse returns on Wednesday with the premieres of Batwoman and Legends of Tomorrow. — Natalie

+ In addition to everything above, Twenties is also coming back to BET on Wednesday, but don’t worry we have that covered to. — Carmen

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Station 19 502: “Can’t Feel My Face”

Written by Carmen

This week on Station 19, Maya and Carina — who have technically been married for 11 months, though thanks to the time jump it feels more like one minute to us, are circling back to their last big fight before they got engaged last season. Carina still wants to have a baby, and Maya does not.

It starts with the (are they still newlyweds?) couple in bed mid-make out, Maya can’t get into it because she’s still preoccupied about her wedding night demotion last year. Carina tries to take her mind off of it by joking about having kids, which only proves to make things worse.

There’s some cute bickering at the station the next day (Carina: “Ok we have a rule, don’t use sex to stop a fight!”, Maya: “Well I have a rule not to start a fight in the middle of sex!”) that somehow also leads to Station Grandpa Warren finding out that the wives will officially be going by the “DeLuca Bishops” moving forward.

But as the day progresses, Maya wonders: can she handle being a parent? Having kids is like having your heart walk outside of your body. And for someone with as many fences around her heart as Maya, that’s exactly what most terrifies her.

Back at home, Maya and Carina pick up their fight. Carina will get used to life without kids if that’s what it comes to — but she’s never before seen Maya run away from something that she’s scared of. She believes there’s something else at the root of this, and she pushes Maya further.

Maya starts to physically shake. She doesn’t want kids. It’s not just that she’s scared of the emotional vulnerability. Given everything that’s happened, she’s scared she will never be get back on track with her career. Hercules Mulligan and Grandpa Warren are allowed to be Dads, but even if Carina carries their child — Maya will be Mommy Tracked. She’s not willing to give that up. She has tried and tried to wrap her mind around it, but she just can’t do it.

Carina, absorbing the shock, licks a tear from the corner of her mouth.

Real talk — I think it’s trope-y that the minute two women are married, they are already talking motherhood (even though this couple has been married for apparently a year, and have had this discussion before). But Danielle Savre and Stefania Spampinato have some of the best chemistry on television, that’s true when they are sexy together and it’s true when they are fighting. This scene cuts, it’s supposed to. And even if I hated it, I can’t say it didn’t get the job done.

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Home Economics 202-203: “Chorizo With Mojo Verde and Chicharron, $45″ & “Bottle Service, $800 Plus Tip”

Written by Carmen

Here is what Home Economics does exceptionally well: to be a show largely about straight people, whenever it is time for the gays to shine, the jokes never punch down. That has never been more true than in the last two episodes.

Last week in “Chorizo With Mojo Verde and Chicharron, $45″ Denise and Sarah hosted their monthly book club that focuses on “oppressed women” and when Sarah’s tech dudebro Connor joins in, chaos ensues. It’s the kind of parody that skewers in all the exact right kinds of way. With Sarah losing her cool over Connor becoming a popular book club member (he’s trying to impress the head of the club, whom he is sleeping with) and ultimately getting called out for being “toxic” in the feminist space against her own brother.

This week, in “Bottle Service, $800 Plus Tip” Home Economics raises its bar even higher, with Sarah and Denise joining Connor for a night at a club. At first Denise disparages that its the most densely packed group of straight people she’s ever seen in her life, before they finally find another gay couple. Jenna, who is non-binary and poly, introduces their date Mel, clarifying that the two prefer “hanging out” to any other labels. Sarah and Denise try to play it cool that they don’t do labels either, only to quickly let it slip that they are wives who’ve been together 15 years with kids. They worry about seeming corny but Jenna quips, “nah you’re cool, you’re old school, like… Sarah’s shoes.”

Jenna and Mel invite Sarah and Denise out to a queer warehouse afterparty, and on the Lyft ride there one of the younger queers literally JUMPS OUT OF THE CAR MID-DRIVE (!!!!) in the middle of an argument, then the other… well, vomits. Sarah and Denise come to the conclusion that I think every gay in their 30s has felt deeply in their bones at one point or another, wow they would rather be in bed right now.

When making cheap fun of Jenna and Mel would have been low hanging fruit on any other sitcom, Home Economics grounds itself in the sweetness of Sarah and Denise’s domesticity. They may the “coolest” of the siblings, but they are squares in their own queer world. And that, my friends, is beautiful.

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New Amsterdam 403: “Same As It Ever Was”

Written by Natalie

News of Max and Helen’s imminent departure from New Amsterdam has everyone in the hospital a little shook including the usually unflappable Dr. Bloom. Lauren’s an OG Sharpwin shipper, apparently, so she’s unfazed about their relationship, but their decision to move to London has caught her off guard. She wonders what the new medical director should be like and what she should do if they try to return the hospital to the pre-Max Goodwin status quo. Annoyed by her girlfriend’s ramblings, Leyla pins Lauren to the mattress and climbs on top of her. She insists that Lauren stop talking and when Lauren quickly acquiesces — because she’s slightly turned on by Leyla’s assertiveness — Leyla rewards her with kisses.

At work, Helen and Lauren cross paths and Lauren gently ribs her about her relationship with Max. It would’ve been nice to see Helen respond with some ribbing of her own since Lauren’s dating one of her residents, but the interaction is less about the friendship between these two characters and more about planting a seed of doubt in Helen about pulling Max away from New Amsterdam. After hearing all Helen’s misgivings about Max’s living situation, Lauren encourages her to dump Max so at least one of them wouldn’t leave…she’s joking, of course — Sharpwin’s her OTP! — but the humor is lost on Helen.

Later, the Emergency Department is overrun with victims from a mass shooting. She assigns one of the patients to Casey, Roxana and Leyla and later, when things have calmed, Lauren asks Casey how her girlfriend did. Casey tries to avoid the conversation but Lauren won’t relent: she peppers him with questions until he finally admits that Leyla let Roxana take the lead on the case. Unhappy that her girlfriend’s stepping back and letting everyone else shine, Lauren confronts Leyla about her ambivalence.

“Where’s the woman who pulled off a renegade needle decompression? Where’s the woman who pinned me down in bed this morning?” Lauren asks.

“She’s right here,” Leyla asserts.

“Well, then show them,” Lauren commands. “Stop keeping how amazing you are all to yourself.”

At her next opportunity, Leyla does just that. Her patience has gone into cardiogenic shock and needs a central line. Lauren insists that Leyla use the ultrasound to guide her placement but Leyla refuses. Lauren clarifies — it wasn’t a suggestion, it was an order — and, again, Leyla defies her. Lauren asks Leyla to step back and she refuses again. As she feeds the line into the patient, she reminds everyone of what a badass she is: having learned to do every procedure in the dark or during a mortar attack. All the technology, Leyla notes, only gets in her way. She performs the procedure flawlessly and walks away…the ultimate mic drop.

As her boss, Dr. Bloom is pissed…and when she meets her resident later, Bloom assures Dr. Shinwari that if she ever behaves like that again, she will make her residency a living hell. But Lauren, Leyla’s girlfriend, is so ridiculously turned on by the display that she can barely keep it together. She presses Leyla against the wall and kisses her, promising more of that when they get home. But Lauren wasn’t the only one impressed by the display: Roxana invites Leyla to join the other residents for a drink after work. With Leyla’s evening occupied, Lauren opts to take advantage of their time together in the supply closet.

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A Million Little Things 403: “Game Night”

Written by Natalie

At the start of every television season, the TV team tries to fan out and watch as many of the new shows as we can. When A Million Little Things premiered in 2018, I remember reporting back to the team that the boy gays had won this one: young Danny Dixon was the show’s queer character. Still, though, out of a unrelenting love for James Roday Rodriguez and Grace Park, I stuck around… and this week, my faithfulness was rewarded.

On “Game Night,” Katherine’s friends decide to host a “surprise” divorce party for her. And while that may seem a little uncouth, particularly since Katherine’s ex-husband, Eddie, remains in the friend group, Katherine truly deserves it. The lawyer has gone above and beyond trying to save her marriage — forgiving Eddie’s affair (with her best friend!), embracing the baby he sired with her, supporting his recovery from a catastrophic injury — but eventually his lies became too much and she had to end the marriage. No one has ever deserved a party more… but also? Katherine’s reserved and very straight laced and is the last person who’d want a party thrown for them.

Still, though, Katherine goes along with it but shows up to the party woefully overdressed. Darcy (played by Supergirl alum, Floriana Lima) mocks Katherine for coming ready to pass the bar instead of going to to the bar and the party’s host, Maggie, volunteers to give her a different top…”something a little less Rizzoli & Isles“… which feels like an obscure reference for Maggie to make but also, given the way this episode turns out, feels like a nice inside joke for the queer women watching the show.

As Regina gets the party going with margaritas, one guest arrives late: Shanice. Katherine immediately brightens when Shanice steps into the room. It feels very fangirlish — Shanice is an actress and Katherine is big fan — but they also bonded over being divorcees last week during a playdate between their kids. The girls keep the party going with a game of “Never Have I Ever” and the group bonds over questions about smoking pot (Katherine’s never done it), dating Gary (which Regina and Maggie both did and Darcy’s doing now) and kissing a girl. Shanice doesn’t drink and Katherine calls her out in front of the group — recalling the time Shanice kissed Jennifer Aniston in a movie — but almost imperceptible flash of panic on Shanice’s face suggests that wasn’t the only time she’s kissed a girl.

Later, the group’s conversation turns back to Katherine and pushing her to get back out there. It’s clear that Katherine’s not ready yet, though, and her friends’ pushing only makes her feel worse. She leaves the room abruptly and Shanice comes, armed with wine, to talk about what just happened. Katherine admits that she’s been living for everyone else her entire life — she’s always doing what she should be doing — and she’s tired of it. She asks Shanice when she ready to start dating, post-divorce, and Shanice admits it took her three months. She assures Katherine that she’ll know when she’s ready to date again and reminds her that she’s allowed to do things at her own pace.

Katherine returns to the party and apologizes for her behavior. She recognizes that she needs to celebrate this new chapter in her life but she wants to do that in her own way. After cutthroat game of Flip Cup, the party breaks up and Katherine, once again, finds herself alone with Shanice. While doing the dishes, she thanks Shanice for her support. Shanice takes the opening to confess that she wasn’t honest with Katherine earlier: the person she dated after her marriage ended was a woman. She admits that it’s not something she tells everyone — partially because of her career but also because of her parents — but she wanted to tell Katherine because she trusts her.

While cleaning, Katherine gets some soap suds on her face and, of course, Shanice kindly reaches over to brush them off. It looks for a moment like they’re going to kiss but, instead, we’re just left with this thick tension between them. Katherine recalls that she needs to call her son and Shanice retreats to go tuck-in her daughter. Unbeknownst to them both, their children are together, with Katherine’s son revealing his crush on Shanice’s daughter, Love Actually style. Like mother, like son, I suppose.

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In the Dark 313: “Expectation is the Root of All Heartache”

Written by Valerie Anne

In the season finale of In the Dark, we finally found our missing lesbian, and it turns out she wasn’t missing at all. She wasn’t kidnapped or killed, she wasn’t in danger at all. She simply…ran away. She decided she wanted to start over and, forgetting who Murphy was apparently, thought she could end a codependent relationship simply by willing it to be so. Of course instead Murphy kept searching for her, come hell or high water, causing more mayhem and revealing a pedophile along the way. Jess had simply had enough of their toxic relationship, and was afraid if she tried to talk it out she’d end up being sucked back into Murphy’s whirlpool of terror. In the end, Murphy decides to try to prove she can be selfless and tells Jess that she’ll take the fall for everything and that Jess should just run away again. So Murphy goes to jail, and the last we see of Jess she’s living her dream of eating toast and scrolling on her phone like she always wanted. And honestly I sort of hope she keeps her new life and isn’t in the next season this show is somehow getting because I would love an excuse to stop watching this show!

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Work in Progress 209: “Hey, Dad”

Written by Drew

Everyone I know struggles with their mental health. I should clarify — everyone I know around my age struggles with their mental health.

Mental illness wasn’t invented by Gen X even if the younger you are the more likely you are to be open about it and seek treatment. But our parents obviously have the same problems we have — in fact, a lot of it’s hereditary.

This week’s episode is a type of wish fulfillment. In the wake of Abby’s dad’s suicide attempt, he’s called Abby to the hospital to talk. Her whole life he’s been cold and distant. But now a wall has broken. He talks about his mental illness and she talks about hers. She learns to forgive him by learning more about him.

I say this episode is wish fulfillment because it’s something few people get. This level of vulnerability from a parent requires that parent to even have the self-awareness to be vulnerable with themself. It’s beautiful to watch. It’s what we all deserve. It’s what all parents deserve. But it’s just not possible for most.

And that’s why we have fiction. We don’t need older family members to open up in order for us to be kind to them or their memories. We can imagine their pain and be kinder to them. And then we can be kinder to ourselves.

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American Horror Story 1008: “Inside”

Written by Drew

Move over Lady Macbeth — Mamie Eisenhower is now part alien and she’s taking over the country.

The first half of this episode goes back to the 50s and 60s and doubles down on last week’s silliness. Sarah Paulson is back as Mamie and she’s joined by actors playing Richard Nixon, JFK, and Marilyn Monroe. It’s campy and a whole lot of fun.

Unfortunately, we then return to our present day storyline where Kaia Gerber is in the running for worst actor on TV. I really don’t think I’m being harsh! I really think she’s that bad! Sorry if you disagree!

Our teens get taken to an alien birthing facility where Angelica Ross plays a half human/half alien nurse. Once again, she is filling a role on American Horror Story separate from the interpersonal workings of the other characters. With a multitude of cis male pregnancies, the season is trafficking in transmasculine imagery so I wish there was more attention given to its one actual trans actor. Look, Angelica Ross can do anything and it’s fun getting to see her as this cool half alien. But I don’t understand why someone who looks like Kaia Gerber always has to be the lead — especially when she’s so devoid of talent.

Boobs on Your Tube: 9 Queer TV Shows You Might Have Missed this Week

Boo! It’s October! This week, Riese published the monthly gay streaming guide for the month. Heather reminded you about how Serena Williams turned that DIRECTV woman gay. Valerie Anne recapped the most recent episode of Supergirl. Heather reviewed Amazon’s new gay ballet drama, Birds of Paradise. And Drew and Analyssa podcasted The L Word: Generation Q. 

Here’s what else!

Notes from the TV Team:

+ Two weeks of 9-1-1 and no solo storyline for Henrietta Wilson yet. That said, after this week’s episode, I’ll never look at an alpaca the same way again. — Natalie

+ On NCIS: Hawai’i, tension remains high between Lucy and Kate after last week’s encounter. Kate insists that they can’t do “this” again — whatever “this” is (give me a flashback episode, CBS!) — and need to forget about what happened. Lucy begrudingly agrees. Later, though, after solving a harrowing string of robberies, Kate tries to invite herself to the team’s celebration but Lucy nixes that idea: going to a bar together isn’t consistent with keeping their relationship strictly professional. Lucy confesses that she feels sorry for Kate because she’s amazing and Kate is truly missing out. Lucy turns and walks out, leaving a stunned Kate with her mouth agape. — Natalie

+ Okay we finally made some progress on finding Jess on In the Dark. I still don’t care about the goings-on of this show but I’m invested in this little lesbian’s fate now. The episode ended on Murphy finding Jess working at a pet store, seemingly unaware of the lengths Murphy has gone to find her. — Valerie Anne

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Station 19 501: “Phoenix from the Flame” and Grey’s Anatomy 1801: “Here Comes the Sun”

Written by Carmen

Station 19 is making a leap this season into a (we can pretend is not-so-distant) future where the Covid-19 pandemic is officially over and people are celebrating with actual fireworks in the sky. Maya and Carina hold each other as the rest of the crew of Station 19 watch the fireworks from the firehouse rooftop. Carina whispers in Maya’s ear about the the triumph of humanity and my friends… that is pretty much her only appearance in the episode.

There is also a flashback to 10 months prior, the night of Maya and Carina’s wedding in last season’s finale.. After finding out that she had been suspended as Station 19’s captain, Maya, Carina, and Andy all storm the head fire boss’ (please don’t ask me to learn firefighter rankings) office. Maya argues that her being let go was sexist, plenty of male fire chiefs have performed worse examples of insubordination without being reprimanded. The Chief accuses of pulling the “sexism card” and Maya (who looks so fucking hot in her wedding dress that really, ahem, shows off those canons she calls arms) retorts, “I am not ‘crying sexism’ sir, I am shining a light on it in the hopes of creating real and lasting change.” I definitely hollered from my couch.

Unfortunately, the head fire boss guy threatens that if Maya doesn’t step down, he will dismantle the entire team (he sends Andy to Station 23, just to prove his point. And speaking of arms… did y’all see what Andy is working with in the Station 23 workout room later in the episode? My GOD). So Maya ends up stepping down, and 10 months later everyone still, very rightly, blames Sullivan for lighting the metaphorical match (I couldn’t help myself) that began this mess to begin with. Now they are being led by some new guy whose name I didn’t pay attention to, but I feel like it might be Mr. Potato Head? Just saying.

Anyway, firehouse Grandpa Warren tells Maya that until she forgives Sullivan, no one else will. And by the end of the episode, Maya has done just that. It’s still going to be a long way back for our 19 family, but we’ll get there.

In the Grey’s Anatomy portion of the two-hour Shondaland return, there’s very little gay things to report. But I wanted to say that I am exceptionally excited for what might have been the first episode of Grey’s to genuinely make me smile in over a year. There’s some back-and-forth in the fandom last night if Meredith’s “big reveal from her past” was worth it, but Scott Speedman was my favorite Meredith love interest post-Derek, so while I have no goodwill for Ellen Pompeo at the moment, I for one cannot wait.

But the real reason I’m including Grey’s in this recap is that Noted Bisexual Dr. Teddy Altman got married to Noted Worst Human Dr. Owen Hunt, and two lesbians literally crashed into their wedding on bicycles which is what we call sweet, sweet justice. Also 4-year-old Leo is really into wearing dresses and tutu’s at the moment. We love to see it!

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Raising Kanan 110: “Paid in Full”

Written by Carmen

Jukebox ended the last episode talking with Detective Burke (hey I finally learned the lesbian cop’s name! And it’s the finale so just in time!) and warning her that the police were about to get caught in the street wars happening between Raq and Unique. Jukebox had promised her Aunt Raq that she’d never betray the family and this week we learn that, even in the midst of her own pain following the homophobic violent attack from her father, Juke kept her word. She pinned the entire thing on Unique.

Detective Howard was shot by Kanan (long story, not relevant) and Burke is on a rampage in Queens. She finds Jukebox walking alone, seemingly left on the street following her fight with Marvin, and pushes her up against a wall. She asks Jukebox how she had the information she gave them, especially since it turned out to be true, and even goes as far as to tell Jukebox she knows Raquel is a drug dealer so it’s time to cut the shit.

Hailey Kilgore’s comedic timing has never been sharper than when she stares that cop down, doesn’t blink, and responds, “Aunt Raq sells hair.”

The cop with Burke searches Jukebox’s book bag and finds men’s clothes. Her eyes go wide, pleading with Detective Burke. In a moment of 90s butch solidarity, Burke tells the cop to let it be — there’s nothing useful in the bag. When the cop next pulls out Nicole’s love letter to Jukebox, her given name Laverene decorated against a purple envelope with rhinestone hearts, Burke softens completely and lets Jukebox go.

The gag of course is that Jukebox’s clothes? The “men’s clothing” that prompted Burke to feel some need to protect the gay teen? They were Kanan’s. Jukebox wasn’t alone on the street because she had nowhere to go following her fight with her dad, she was on her way to Kanan’s hideout with instructions from her Aunt to bring him a change of clothes and cash. She played Burke completely, form top to bottom.

Juke has always been a real one.

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Burden of Truth 409: “Standing by Peaceful Waters”

Written by Natalie

Last we checked in with Luna Spence, her life was starting to come together — she was killing it in law school, she found work that fed her passion and a cute girlfriend, Stevie, to boot — but, sometimes, the moment when you think everything is finally coming together is exactly when it falls apart. Her passion project is challenged by an offer from a prestigious law firm…one that would secure her future and her mother’s. Luna’s best friend, Taylor, pulls her into an investigation of a sex trafficking ring…and Luna grows so obsessed with the case that she prioritizes it over everything, including her girlfriend. But, perhaps most importantly this season, Luna sees her sister — the most influential person in Luna’s life — for the imperfect person she is…and it changes the nature of their relationship.

Heartbroken over her break-up, Luna rededicates herself to ensuring that Dee — one of the sex trafficking victims — gets some measure of justice. When she’s stuck, she finally relents and seeks out her sister’s help. They’re able to secure a settlement for Dee and working together reminds Luna of what Joanna is capable of…the good that Joanna is capable of…and she stands by her sister as Joanna goes before the disciplinary board. Despite their breakup, Stevie shows up too to offer her support and the couple finally get a moment to talk about their relationship. Luna confesses that, like her sister, she’s committed to doing whatever it takes to win; she doesn’t know any other way. Stevie understands Luna commitment to her work but if they’re planning a life together, she can’t come in second all the time. Luna promises to make Stevie a priority moving forward and the couple embrace.

Her case resolved and her relationships with Stevie and Joanna repaired, all that’s left is for Luna to make a decision about her career path. She asks Owen Beckbie, Millwood’s police chief and her almost stepfather, about what she should do. He urges her to consult her ancestors and when he discovers Luna doesn’t yet have a spirit name, he arranges a naming ceremony for her. Her name — which signifies her someone who brings together the past, present and future — clarifies Luna’s purpose and she ultimately takes the job at the prestigious law firm.

A lot has been written about expanding Native representation lately — that is, lest Hollywood pat itself on the back too much, about how TV went from no Native represent to not enough — but much of it omits Burden of Truth from the narrative. That’s unfortuate because, over four seasons, the Canadian import showcased indigenous stories in a way that few other television shows have and managed to give a queer indigenous woman a happy ending on top of it all.

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New Amsterdam 402: “We’re In This Together”

Written by Natalie

Last week, after outing her relationship with Leyla to the other Emergency Department residents, Dr. Lauren Bloom tried to assuage concerns about favoritism by criticizing Leyla publicly. But Leyla’s reprieve from her colleagues’ scorn was short-lived, as she becomes the object of their disdain again this week. Leyla and Lauren arrive at the hospital together in a Lyft, happily boo’d up and oblivious to the world around them, including Leyla’s fellow residents who watch the couple’s arrival after stepping off the city bus.

Later, Leyla overhears her fellow residents — Roxana, Huxley and Pavan — mocking her as they get off the elevator. They swear their criticism isn’t personal but Leyla’s not sure how else to take it. Roxana warns Leyla to be careful of flaunting her privilege, an accusation that, rightly, stuns Leyla. She pushes back, informing her colleagues that just a few months ago, she was homeless and sleeping in her car. Roxana mockingly applauds her come up. Huxley notes that they’re forced to share one iPad between the three of them and have to study in shifts. Pavan admits that they share a studio in Morris Heights and have to wake up super early and take three buses to get to the hospital on time. Roxana clocks the fancy stethoscope around Leyla’s neck and contrasts it to the crappy one she’s wearing. Yes, Roxana notes, from where her fellow residents are sitting, she’s privileged.

Leyla tracks Lauren down in the ICU and tries to give her the iPad and the stethoscope back. She admits that Lauren’s given her access to wonderful things she’s never had before but it’s turned her into a different person. Lauren doesn’t understand Leyla’s objection: half the people in the hospital, including her, got to where they are because they had all the necessary tools. She rightly points out that, if the shoe was on the other foot, not a single one of the other residents would give up those resources. For most of her career, Leyla’s scraped by but now she has Lauren and all these fancy things and her success feels unearned. Before they can continue their conversation, Lauren’s called to her patient’s room…his heart rate’s slowing and she can’t figure out what’s wrong. She runs through his symptoms and — with no iPad and no stethoscope — Leyla diagnoses the patient with descending paralysis.

After work, Lauren pulls Leyla aside and tells her she won’t let allow Leyla to give up the things she needs to get ahead. Instead, Lauren volunteers to establish a level playing field between the residents: each will have the same access to the same resources. Hopefully then, Lauren hopes, Leyla will believe that she deserves all the wonderful things in her life. But with the secret of how Leyla got into the program still waiting to be uncovered…and Leyla clearly concerned about the role of money in their relationship…I think Lauren might be giving herself false hope.

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Work in Progress 208: “FTP”

Written by Drew

Throughout the past two seasons, we’ve seen Abby at her best and worst. At her best, Abby is a sardonic boundary-pushing dyke who connects with people easily and is a great person to have on your side. At her worst, Abby is self-destructive and selfish and can make everyone else’s crises all about her.

Abby works better as an underdog. And that’s why I was so interested to see how the show handled this episode where Abby reckons with her whiteness in June 2020. I didn’t expect Abby to approach this reckoning with any semblance of humility. And she doesn’t.

A lot of the episode consists of Abby grappling with run-of-the-mill liberal white guilt. Vincent D’Onofrio comes back as Robert Goren in one of the episode’s many dream sequences and I wish we spent more time with Abby investigating why her comfort show and sexual fantasy is connected to the police. This is one of the few moments where Abby is critiquing her present self rather than her past or others and it felt rushed.

The most complicated and interesting moment is toward the end when Abby’s neighbor tells her that their mom died. Abby has spent the whole episode fixating on other people’s racism and making empty gestures, but when a Black person in her life needs support — after their mom has died due to the ways doctors so often don’t listen to Black women — Abby runs away. Abby knows it’s wrong to let her mental illness take over as she prioritizes pandemic safety. But calling herself a “selfish cunt” as she furiously washes her hands isn’t helping anyone.

This is an ambitious episode directed by Yance Ford and written by Samantha Irby and Lilly Wachowski. Work in Progress is a show that’s always been defined by imperfection, so even though not every moment worked for me, I respect the choice not to skip over this period of 2020. It’s a lesson fictional Abby could learn herself.

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American Horror Story 1007: “Take Me to Your Leader”

Written by Drew

American Horror Story has an acting problem.

I’ve been trying to figure out why AHS: Red Tide worked so much better for me than the show’s spin-off. Was the writing really that much better despite being from most of the same writers? That seemed… doubtful. Especially when Red Tide was far from Shakespeare.

Well, we’re back with the second story in our double feature and Death Valley’s split first episode clarified for me when this show works — and when it doesn’t.

The first half takes place in the 50s and follows Dwight D. Eisenhower as his life of golf and being married to Sarah Paulson gets interrupted by some aliens and Amelia Earhart. It’s goofy but it’s also delightful. Probably because Paulson, Neal McDonagh as Ike, and Lily Rabe as Amelia are all talented actors.

But when we shift to the present day to a group of vapid twenty-somethings, the show falls flat. It’s not that the writers don’t know how twenty-somethings talk — it’s that they aren’t finding actors who can pull off the Ryan Murphy brand of camp.

Purposeful camp is actually really hard to perform. It’s not as easy as “just being bad.” And of our four new actors only Rachel Hilson is talented enough to sell the stylized lines. (Full disclosure: I went to college with her, but she’s clearly the most talented performer here.) Kaia Gerber is especially horrendous. Not every famous daughter is Billie Lourd. And not every boy Ryan Murphy wants to fuck is Evan Peters.

This kind of writing requires a Frances Conroy or an Angelica Ross. Murphy and his team need to stop casting young performers better suited for a third rate CW show.

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Roswell, New Mexico 310: “Angels of the Silences”

Written by Valerie Anne

I feel like perhaps I have been under-representing this show by only talking about the queer lady stuff on this show, since it’s fairly minimal, but this is a very good, funny show that manages to tackle both the metaphorical alienation of literal aliens, and the literal alienation of metaphorical aliens. But yes, also gay. This week, for no reason other than to delight me, Anatsa taught Isobel some archery skills. They flirt and it’s cute, and later they dance some more, and also Anatsa is applying to jobs in Roswell, so hopefully this means she’s sticking around and we get to learn more about her besides that she’s a brilliant badass.