“Supergirl” Episode 304: Cool Aunt Crew

This week’s Supergirl opens with some misogynistic bullshit in the form of Byron Montgomery going on a tirade about how awful all women are and how garbage all relationships are because his one relationship with one woman went south. In the middle of his speech, the plane starts to go down, but it’s the plane Kara saved in the pilot; the plane Alex was on.

Byron sees Kara on the wing of the plane, sees Supergirl being born with his own eyes, and he is changed.

Honestly that episode changed me, too. So, I get it.

In present day National City, Sam is doing double duty as a soccer mom and a CEO. She even has her own chair, so I’d say she’s killing the game. A woman sidles up to her and creepily tells her that Ruby is special, that she was chosen, and gives Sam a pamphlet, inviting her to a meeting. Sam is a little freaked but says “thank you” politely and moves on.

Back in Sam’s new office, Lena and Kara come in to do some “business” and Lena congratulates Sam on the merger she signed. To celebrate, Lena invites Sam to their “Girls’ Night” that APPARENTLY was basically going to be a double date but you know what, the more the merrier.

“She’s the boss.”

Kara sees the pamphlet the woman gave Sam on Sam’s desk and asks if she can take it, because the symbol is worrisome to her. She takes it back to the DEO, where Winn also recognizes it as the symbol for Rao. The pamphlet doesn’t have much information, just a time and an address, so Kara decides to check it out, her boys in tow.

When they get to the address on the pamphlet, it appears to be the start of a meeting. A sweet-looking young girl welcomes them, but it doesn’t take long for the layer of sugar to melt away and reveal the child-eating witch. Okay that was a bad analogy; what I mean is, Byron Montgomery gets up in front of the room and within a few sentences it becomes clear that this meeting is a cult and this cult worships Supergirl.

Stay sexy, don’t get murdered

They worship Supergirl because they were all saved by Supergirl; Byron somehow knows Rao’s prayers, and says Supergirl not only saved him in the kept-him-from-dying-a-fiery-death way, but also in a spiritual way, because his life was off course before she stopped that plane from crashing. The girl from earlier, whose name is Olive, echoes a similar sentiment; she was in a bad place after a bad breakup, she got too drunk and fell off a building, and Supergirl saved her. Not only from falling, but from thinking she deserved to die. Supergirl made Olive feel like she deserved to be loved. And you know what? Supergirl made me feel that way, too. She made me feel like I could be strong, while staying optimistic. That I could be hopeful, while still being ready to fight. Supergirl saved me, too, so sign me the fuck up for this cult.

Well, at least for now. They go a little whackadoo later but we’ll get to that. For now, Kara is just in awe. Winn and James ask if she remembers saving Olive and of course she does. She remembers saving everyone in this room. Supergirl isn’t a hobby for Kara, it’s part of who she is. And therefore, so are these people.

And so is this killer ponytail.

The issue is, it’s a little weird to be in a room full of people who are praying to you.

Back at the DEO, Kara says that the only person in the room she didn’t remember saving was Byron himself. Winn finds out it’s because he was on the plane she saved, which explains it. Kara is a little miffed, because they’re taking the teachings of Rao and twisting it, and says there has to be a reason he’s actively recruiting new members to this weird little cult.

Anyway, forget about Byron for now, because it’s time for GIRLS’ NIGHT. Kara, Alex, Maggie, Lena and Sam. Hanging out. Chit-chatting. Talking. Laughing. Loving. Breathing.

This is the way, it’s the way that we live.

Listen, okay, I would watch an ENTIRE SHOW about these five women. And I barely know Sam. But this is what my real life looks like; I have some guy coworker/friends, but that’s not who I’m sitting around drinking and sharing personal stories with. (I know that’s not everyone’s reality, I’m just saying, it’s mine, and it was fun to see it on TV.) And you know what, we’re even usually talking about bad dates, exes, and babies.

Sam being a mother brings up the mom question for Alex and Maggie, and Maggie happily boasts about being ready to be the Cool Aunt, and Alex looks slightly less amped for that particular future. Sam (rightly) apologizes for assuming they would want to have kids (and this goes for all couples, not just queer couples) but they all laugh about being Sam’s daughter’s cool (and nerdy) aunts.

So here’s where my spinoff comes in. It’s called Cool Aunt Crew. Can you still hear the cheesy sitcom opening credits music cueing up? Good. Here we go.

Here’s the story. Of a girl named Ruby. And of Sam, her very lovely mom.

She had a lovely boss. Her name was Lena. And they were bomb dot com.

Here’s the story. Of a girl named Kara.

And of Alex, her sister, her best friend.

Plus Alex had a girl, her name was Maggie. Their love was ’til the end.

And then one day all these ladies got together.
They were so happy and they all knew what to do.
They planned a Girls’ Night, and then another.
They were the Cool Aunt Crew!

:music fades out to make way for the sound of their laughter:

Distant sirens interrupt their laughter and ours, and Kara disappears to “get some ice” and rips her glasses off before she even leaves the apartment and fine Sam is new here so she might not think much of it but LENA HAS TO KNOW, SHE HAS TO.

Anyway, Kara goes to the scene, which is a burning building with a boy standing arrogantly on the roof. I say arrogantly because he doesn’t look scared or like he’s trying to do anything about his situation; he looks like he’s waiting. Supergirl saves him, and when Olive appears from the shadows to hug the boy and say he’s one of them now, Supergirl realizes that he put himself in danger specifically so he could be part of this cult and it suddenly went from Really Enthusiastic Fans to a Serious Problem.

Jinkies.

Maggie comes on the scene and Supergirl tries to explain the situation and get her to shut it down, but the thing is, Byron hasn’t actually broken any laws yet. And until he does, and/or they can prove he specifically told this kid to set the building on fire and stand on the roof, there’s nothing Maggie can do. Except look real cute.

“Dimples don’t stop all people in their tracks, if you can believe it.”

At L Corp, Ruby is doing her homework on Sam’s office floor. When she finishes, she asks her mother if they can practice the song Ruby has to sing for a recital. Sam pushes it off, and Ruby acts like Sam is being SO NEGLECTFUL, and I’m sorry, I love kids, but I have so little patience for that. Sam is the CEO of a huge corporation; Ruby could be home with a sitter. (A totally respectable solution for working moms.) Or even alone at home. But Sam is lucky enough to work for a company that doesn’t mind her daughter being around, and Ruby is lucky enough to have a mom who wants her around. I have a lot of feelings on this particular matter, but there are plenty of feelings to be had in this episode, so I’ll save my mommy issues for another time.

Kara goes to see Byron, and he knows she’s Supergirl, because a) he saw her without her suit on, before her suit existed even, b) anyone who has been face-to-face with both of them can tell they’re the same person *cough* Lena *cough*. He thinks he’s being tested by his goddess, and she leverages that to ensure her secret is safe.

I would also be compelled to do whatever she says, so.

Instead of taking her orders to shut all this down, he goes to his secret back room and tells his secret pod that he’s going to save his goddess.

Lena comes into Sam’s office, and Sam explains that she almost lost the merger but saved it last minute…and then she starts to cry. She starts to scold herself, saying it’s unprofessional, but Lena just sits down, ready to listen. Sam says she feels like a bad mom, because she’s been working and hasn’t had time to listen to her daughter practice her song. She cries, and Lena laughs.

I’d do anything to make Lena Luthor laugh, even if it was at my expense.

Confused, Sam says she feels like the worst mother and asks why Lena finds this amusing. Lena says it’s because she actually HAD the worst mother. Her mother wouldn’t have even known if she knew what music was, let alone had a specific recital to rehearse for. Sam was trying, and letting Ruby see her kick ass and take names, and that’s invaluable.

Plus, now you have the Cool Aunt Crew to help you!

Across town, James tells Kara about how he kind of gets the cult because Superman saved him once too, and he gets how she’s special, she’s something to believe in. While they’re talking, James accidentally activates the little Rao statue thingie Kara took from Byron, so Kara has Winn track it. Winn sends her to a sports arena where sports are happening, because Byron wants to put hundreds of unwilling people’s lives at risk just to have them be potentially saved by Supergirl because he’s delusional.

Supergirl confronts Byron, but the thingie is energizing too fast, and Alex can’t evacuate that many people in enough time.

Paging the Cool Aunt Crew. We have a dilemma. Sock up on wine.

When Kara gets too close to the pod, she realizes the hard way that there’s Kryptonite inside, so she cuts herself to prove she’s no god. Bryon’s followers flee, but he’s sure he can still save her. But the thing is? The only person Supergirl needs to save her is her sister. So Alex comes down, guns blazing, ready to help her baby sister.

Supergirl is too weak to fly the pod to a safe space but she musters up enough energy to burn a hole in the ground for Alex and Byron to push the pod into.

Later, once everyone is safe, Kara goes to see Byron in jail, but he’s still sure he is being called to help her. Kara is wary but to be honest, she hasn’t been feeling like herself lately, so maybe a little perspective couldn’t hurt.

That night, the Cool Aunt Crew rolls up into Sam’s daughter’s school, and Kara gets a glimpse of what healthy admiration (vs cultish worship) is like.

10/10 would watch them watch anything.

After the tiny Supergirls are done, Sam’s Ruby comes on stage to sing Imagination from Willy Wonka. Watching this little girl sing, watching Sam and all the other parents in the room beam with pride…well, it’s all a little overwhelming for our dear, sweet Alex.

She runs out into the hall as soon as the song is over, and Kara follows soon after. Alex finally admits what she’s been pushing down these last few episodes: She wants kids! Being here at this school solidifies that feeling for her. She thought her real, true, deep, intense, bone-crushing, all-consuming love for Maggie would be enough to overcome it; she wasn’t lying when she told Maggie she was enough, not really. But the truth is, she wants to be a mother. She wants a kid she can teach to read, to punch, she wants a kid she can love and inspire. She realizes now that this means her and Maggie are at an impasse; she can’t change for Maggie, and Maggie can’t change for her…but neither of them would want that for the other anyway. Alex realizes now that it’s not something she can just move past or get over…and she doesn’t know what she’s going to do.

:throws awards at Chyler Leigh:

And here’s the thing; there a lot of behind-the-scenes things I can’t know for sure, so I can’t comment on. What I know is, the writers knew Floriana was going to leave the show, and they had to break up Sanvers. In my personal opinion, however unpopular as it may be, I think this is one of the most graceful ways they could have done it. There were other ways, surely, but this was one of the handful of those options that would not do anything to diminish their love for each other. Alex loves Maggie, Maggie loves Alex; but they don’t share this one, huge, fundamental value. Because the truth of it is, love is not enough. Relationships take work. It’s not “oh hey we’re in love” and then that’s the end. No matter how much you love someone right here, right now, if you have different life goals and/or dreams, it could be difficult, or in some cases, impossible to change that.

This isn’t a great comparison, but somewhat similarly, when I was 22/23, I was in love with a girl. I’ll spare you the details but the timing wasn’t right for over a year, until we were both finally in the right place to be with each other, emotionally. The only thing was, she was living in Seattle and I was living in New York City. She was just starting grad school in Seattle, and I was almost done with grad school in NYC. I couldn’t imagine leaving New York, she couldn’t dream of leaving Seattle. Our hearts were ready for each other, but our lives simply didn’t align in a way that made us possible. It didn’t mean we didn’t love each other “enough” (though maybe we didn’t, we didn’t really get a chance to find out) it just meant we weren’t going to veer from our best paths just to be with each other. I think, in relationships, there’s a fine line between compromise and sacrifice, and one can strengthen a bond and one can poison it.

So while I wish they weren’t breaking up at all, I think this is a graceful way to end things. It doesn’t retcon or negate the love Alex and Maggie have for each other. It doesn’t have them break up over a stupid fight. It will be, ultimately, Alex’s decision, however impossible it feels. Their hearts were ready for each other, their lives simply didn’t align in a way that made them possible.

brb crying forever

And, for the record, she didn’t lie to Maggie. She said Maggie sans kids was enough because she truly believed it could be. It’s just that she’s realizing this is something she can’t let go of. And frankly, it is breaking her open. She doesn’t know what to do. How can she love the immovable object and the unstoppable force at the same time? The real truth is, neither can live while the other survives, so she has to choose: Maggie or children.

At least we’ll always have the Danvers sisters.

Kara goes to her momogram and prays, for the first time in a long time. Byron is praying too, which means probably/unfortunately we haven’t seen the last of him. Alex climbs into bed with Maggie, who instinctively rolls over to hold her, and Alex cries, knowing the end is nigh, knowing literally all of our hearts will be broken before long.

And I won’t be far from where you are if ever you should call / You meant more to me than any one I, I’ve ever loved at all / But you taught me how to trust myself, and so I say to you / This is what I have to do

Sam draws a bath and goes to look at herself in the mirror, but instead of her normal reflection, she sees herself covered in Kryptonian symbols. A creepy-ass figure appears speaking in riddles (I swear the figure said Sam was borne of Rao’s thigh but surely I misheard through all the hissing) and saying someday soon, Sam will (be) Reign.

This is fine.

Also something in a glowing tube somewhere is awake now so that will surely affect our lives somehow. But we’ll worry about that next week.