Holigay Quiz: What Entirely Made Up Gay Hallmark Christmas Movie Are You?

Romance, convoluted plotlines, and idyllic settings — Hallmark Channel’s Christmas movies simply deliver the goods this time of year. And now, it’s time to find out what shape your life might take if some strange wizard came along and placed a curse on you that trapped you in a Hallmark movie. Which, wow, someone make that movie! Yes, I could have used existing Hallmark Christmas movies for this personality quiz, but what fun is that — especially when there still aren’t enough queer and lesbian ones out there! Consider all of these results my official pitches for movies that should be made! Get at me, Hallmark!

Take the quiz, and get a completely made up gay Christmas movie just for you! Want to see the other options? Take the quiz again!

Pick a sweater:(Required)

If you were a character in a romantic-comedy, what job would you have?(Required)

Novelist

Painter/illustrator

Professor

Actor/model

Chef/baker

Interior designer

Therapist

Erotica writer

Pick a stocking stuffer:(Required)

What do you like the most about the Christmas season?(Required)

Snow/winter weather

Spending time with friends

Eggnog

Receiving gifts

Baked goods

Decorations

Holiday movies

Spoiling your partner(s)

Pick a Trader Joe’s holiday treat:(Required)

What holiday party vibe sounds the most appealing to you?(Required)

A party full of creative and interesting people (with an open bar)

A huge house party with thematic games

Company holiday party (free booze)

An ugly Christmas sweater party

A fancy dinner party with holiday treats

An intimate gathering with charcuterie and champagne

Ice skating in a park with friends but then you have a meet-cute

A sexy, seasonal play party

Pick a Christmas tree aesthetic:(Required)

What television show would you be the most likely to marathon on a day off?(Required)

Succession

High Maintenance

Grey’s Anatomy

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

Great British Baking Show

Glee

Riverdale

True Blood

What would you like to have for dinner?(Required)

Which Christmas song would you like to listen to right now?(Required)

“Jingle Bells?” by Barbara Streisand

“Frosty The Snowman” by Fiona Apple

“Merry Christmas Darling” by The Carpenters

“All I Want For Christmas Is You” by Mariah Carey

“I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” by Dolly Parton

“Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” by Idina Menzel

“The Christmas Song” by Nat King Cole

“Santa Baby” by Eartha Kitt

Pick a cabin getaway vibe:(Required)

What are your favorite things to read on Autostraddle?(Required)

Personal essays

TV recaps/reviews

Breakup content

Quizzes

SLICK

Thirst trap/selfie/fashion/dating how-tos

Advice

Sex toy reviews

Pick a snowman:(Required)

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