allegralaviola.com
You’re bleeding. It hurts. Can girls get “blue balls.” What is that strange sensation. You can’t move your right arm. Your jaw keeps making this clicking noise. You can’t really walk. Rope burn? Carpet burn? You’ve been fingerfucked by a girl with rhinestones on her fingernails. Perhaps you’ve unknowingly had a tampon stuck up there for a week, or something of that sort.
Sex injuries are a thing that happens but people don’t really want to talk about — (although you sure do love asking about it on formspring!!) and when it comes to dyke sex, good luck on finding any information about this or that strange sensation on the internet.
That’s what we’re here for. Or rather, that’s what we hope YOU’RE here for because really, what do we know.
[SIDENOTE: PER USHE, most of the images in this post are unrelated to today’s topic]
According to a study done last year in the UK, around a third of the adult population – about 18 million people – has suffered an ache or strain either during or after bouts of passion. 1 out of 10 reported falling off the bed during sex and 1 in 50 reported “falling off the washing machine.” (is this a thing?) Also people break a lot of objects.
This MSNBC article goes into more detail about sex that’s landed people in the ER, also mentioning that most people are too embarrassed to seek actual medical treatment.
However, most of this injury-related research is focused on straight people. When our strap-on breaks, it doesn’t land us in the emergency room, if you know what I mean. Right.
So what we’re telling you is SHARE YOUR STORIES.
This information does not exist online so just go for it: cuts, pains, pulled muscles, etc. “Did it hurt the first time” seems to be a popular question.
via flickr.com/photos/manchasdetinta
When Effin’ Dykes shared her life-scarring story that many of you may not have been able to read because the ending is really gross and will make you never want to have sex again, many of you chimed in with your own stories:
“The next time your girlfriend comes home from the hospital and you are like OH MY GOD I’VE MISSED YOU LET’S HAVE SEX consider that she and her hands are covered in MRSA and for the next month you will have sores LITERALLY THE SIZE OF WHOLE WALNUTS.”
“A really awesome cute butch girl had long fingernails. She must have sharpened them or something, cause, um, ouch.”
“On a more serious note, my most recent ex scratched my clit (mildly), made my cervix bleed (I forced her to cut her nails after that) and gave me a uti (ok, that just happens sometimes, but still). I think this was all in the same week, or maybe the same fortnight. Ouch.”
“Clit scratching/pain is the WORST because you can feel everything and sometimes when all the blood rushes there from pain, you get turned on. And it’s confusing and weird.”
“So one time my girlfriend scratched open my clit with her lip ring, and it bled and kept tearing open for weeks. Girls, I know we love lip rings, but make sure your girl’s doesn’t have a sharp exposed edge to tear your clit in half. because it will take about two months to fully heal.”
via crashpadseries.com
There’s ways to make sex safer, obvs — latex gloves, finger cots, dental dams, condoms for strap-ons and lube. The Lesbian & Gay Foundation has a tiny little thing about what to do if sex hurts but if you wanna get specific, here’s a little more about fisting.
taschkaturnquist.com
If you’re into BDSM, you can read up on prevention/treatment of BDSM-specific injuries here and ACT Toronto also has a formidable rundown on “safer kinky sex” with a BDSM focus . At QueerKink, you can find method & safety advice for Electricity Play, Breath Control Play and Wax Play.
(Also, unrelated to the injuries tip but found along the way — In BDSM is Play, the peacockangel, a professional dominatrix and “kinky atheist feminist submissive dyke,” answers some “questions” about BDSM and feminism and an old Jezebel bit on BDSM — Stop Telling Me What I’m Supposed to Like Dammit and here we have All Tied Up in Love, a Kern Valentine’s Day Special from Vice Magazine. Very NSFW.)
flickr.com/photos/gracerules11
In conclusion, you should ask each other questions and talk about yourselves in the comments!
I can speak from experience that “blue balls” is a real thing for this woman. Not as a medical condition per se, but as an amount of sexual frustration that you and your vagina are almost crying? yes.
My vagina is sobbing.
I’m a very angry lesbian right now.
I have also suffered blue balls hurts a bit.. :/
I think the technical term is ‘vasocongestion’, but it has definitely happened to me – when i’ve had to ejaculate but got interrupted and didn’t. I joked that it was blue balls, but then I googled it and found out its possible for men AND women!
I call it ‘blue clit’ and it got so frustrating that I actually contacted this girl my boyfriend was chatting to (we’d met briefly) asking for a booty call. AND IT WORKED. relief!
besides the whole biting-my-nipples too hard, one time she tied me up and i pulled something in my arm? i’m not too sure what it was since i couldn’t tell my mom because i couldn’t come up with a reason and i sure as hell was not going to say “hey mom, can you check my arm out? what happened? [ex-gf] tied me up and fucked me on her parent’s couch.”
it doesn’t only come from being tied up, once i made out with this girl for 2.5 hours and then the next day i couldn’t move my right arm and about halfway through the day i realized it was from holding myself up
People have smashed their walls? What have I been doing wrong, someone please enlighten me. My walls are plasterboard and everything.
Sounds like some True Blood sex to me…
I hope you do get it figured out because then you get to say things to the Home Depot chick like “there’s no backing in the hole, I need strips and screws, hot mud, topping coats, and address the surrounding texture”.
HAHA I’VE BEEN QUOTED WITH THE UTI AND THE SCRATCHING, and I spent the morning brunching with the Chitown straddlers! Sweet! BEST DAY EVER.
I just wanted to say that yeah I’m famous.
Also blue balls (blue clit, as I call it?) Yeah. When that “straight” chick makes out with you at the bar and then cannot be persuaded to stay when her friends are leaving. And then in the words of Pink, “it’s just you and your hand tonight”. Ouch.
I think my only major sex-injury story (where “injury” means “not something I wanted to be bruised/sore/marked/etc”) is the time my girlfriend and I got so into the fact that she was getting half her hand in me that we failed to consider the need for more lube. SLIGHT TEARING. COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE. Poor girlfriend was, like, traumatized. (She says she got over it, but have we tried again? No we have not!)
so far all i’ve acquired is a broken heart? maybe i’ve been doing it wrong.
:*(
Hey, blue balls is totally real (a.k.a blue vagina for the ladies, though I still refer to it as blue balls). It’s like a slight ache when you dont get any. It’s very real.
Also, I know I wont be alone on this one, my wrist aches man. During the long periods of sex, and it can get pretty long, I just need a break to keep me from spraining my wrist. I cant just take a break though. Totally not cool and I would hate for that to happen to me. Other than that and the occasional charlie horse, I haven’t had much issues.
You are so not alone! I think we’ve all been there with the wrist. And using a vibe for too long gives my hand a weird numb feeling.
Yeah, we really have all been there with the wrist. Focus on the moans, not the wrist creaks.
I once sprained my hand in a solo attempt to “spice things up” after not having had sex for nearly a year.
I’m pretty sure I’ve gotten the female equivalent of blue balls, but only two or three times during college having sex with my then boyfriend. He’d get off, I guess I wouldn’t, and then for a little while I’d have hugely engorged inner labia and this weird tinglynumb feeling in the area. Kind of novel, but really annoying.
Anybody who tells you that women can’t get blue balls is a dirty, rotten, terrible excuse of a person. And a liar.
Haha I identified so much with the jaw clicking mentioned at the beginning of the article.. I have TMJ so my jaw clicks constantly anyway, but sometimes after a vigorous evening of oral sex, my jaw really, really hurts, and even locks up. It’s scary and not fun.. but it’s not like I’m going to stop having oral sex.
Help?
I have the same exact problem. My TMJ isn’t as serious as yours it sounds like, but one weekend my girlfriend and I were having so much oral sex that my jaw locked for a whole 30mins before I finally relaxed enough to where I could get it back in place. It was then sore and continued to lock up until about a week later. The only thing I can offer up is suggesting a few things, you may already do these cause you have TMJ though: cut down on gum chewing and keep your jaw relaxed while giving oral. Your jaw will automatically tighten when you open your mouth so you just have to consciously relax it. It’s hard to do sometimes and you may have to remind yourself several times but it works for me.
I hope it helps you out!
Haha, I have TMJ, too. We should start an Autostraddle TMJ group.
In the middle of some rather aggressive sex, my girlfriend’s tongue ring slipped and it somehow caught my skin (inside) and cut me open. Blood. Everywhere. I was pretty shaken up, but she was a wreck for weeks. All I wanted to do was scream at the top of my lungs because of the pain I was in, but as soon as I shed a single tear you would have thought it was her body that had been torn open. I had to convince her that night that I was going to be okay (even though I wasn’t sure my insides would ever recover), just to get her to stop crying. Needless to say, it took a while for both of us to get “back to normal” when having sex.
Hours of performing cunnilingus = strained tongue.
I didn’t know you COULD pull your tongue.
It hurt to talk for several days.
She appreciated it though.
win.
I logged out (hopefully it worked…) in case my girlfriend sees and is unhappy with my over-sharing, but it’s for the education of fellow homos!
I have nothing super helpful, but here’s what I’ve got:
-it didn’t hurt the first time for me, but it bled like fuck.
-I accidentally tore my girlfriend’s nipple open once. I was traumatized.
-I used to have jaw issues, so I try to go back and forth between active mouth-movement type things, and putting my foot against something and moving my whole body. It sounds super weird when I try to explain it, but it has been quite effective.
I experienced the same thing with the no-pain bleeding first time. I was just wondering why my girlfriend stopped moving, she freaked out a little when she tasted something metallic and asked me if I was okay. Then she showed me her finger and at first, I couldn’t tell that the blood was from me.
is it bad that after reading this i REALLY want sex now??
I’M WITH YOU. And my girl is quite a few hours away. Sucks.
ive been cut buy fingernails but it wasnt to bad and didnt bother me much but i did get hurt having phone sex with an ex once that sucked ..i was mostly on my bed my feet on the desk a few feet away, why i have know idea, fell off my bed that is a tall bed, my legs still up on the desk not enough room for them to come down, and i landed on my steel toe boots kinda got kicked in the tail bone the way i landed, then when i went to try to find the phone i sat up and slamed my head in to the frame of my bed finly got the phone my girl was laughing and wanted to know what the hell happend she heared all the banging and groans
So obviously we all know to keep our fingernails short, but let me tell you from experience: toenail trimming is important too. The other week my girl and I were getting very, very into things and she scratched the top of my foot pretty deeply. Ha. Minor as far as sex injuries go, but the pain was definitely enough to make it hard to concentrate, and I still have the marks.
(I don’t want to give the impression that my gf has horrifying toe-talons or anything; even if they’re just a little too long they can do damage.)
owls has been toed.
hehe
i was really hoping owls’ story was going to be about being toed for real
YOU GUYS.
Do a google image search of “nasty toenails,” and you’ll see how lucky you were.
The first time my (straight) ex-girlfriend ever fingerfucked me, she totally tore me open, like literally, I thought I was going to cry. She was wearing these jagged ass rings, I don’t know what she was doing.
Then once we were doing it on her mom’s floor and I got the worst carpet burn. Her mom came home and was like “holy shit! what happened to your knees and your hands?!” I think I said something about falling in gravel and then I left XD
The tongue sprain/strain is a regular one for me. What am I doing wrong?
5 people in my family work as x-ray technicians and they spent a hour at our reunion this summer telling us about all the things they’ve seen in people’s bums. One guy told them that he slipped and fell while his groceries were on the ground and the cucumber just slipped up there. This probably isn’t very helpful to most people here, but whatevs.
I got into a marathon conversation with a guy from Brazil at a party about 4 years ago. He was a doctor. In that country they don’t have EMTs, so the docs just go in the ambulance. He would go into the favelas and see wacky shit.
Once he was working at the hospital and a guy came in with abdominal pains. On his x-ray they could see NUMBERS. Winds up this guy shoved a remote in his ass. He said he got naked and went to sit on the couch to watch tv, and when he sat, the remote WENT UP HIS ASS. Another guy carved a yucca root into a cock shape, same result.
Did he really think that anyone would believe a remote control just went up his ass?
It beats the story I told when I shoved a remote in my ass. I had to tell them I fell asleep, and when I woke up and tried to sit up, the channel changed, so I had a feeling the remote was in my ass.
Wow, what do they usually say to stuff like that? Do they lecture you or do they just take it out and move along? I’ve had some weird stuff up my girly parts, but never has it been ER necessary. *knock on wood*
Radiologists usually have a file of x-rays showing the various things people put in their butts. They always “sat on them by accident.”
The butt is like a black hole that will suck things up inside it that won’t come out again. Make sure whatever you put up there has a flanged base (bigger than the shaft). Babeland is smarter than me and tells you more: http://www.babeland.com/sexinfo/howto/buttsexbeginners
Ok, so for about the first 5 months my girlfriend and I had sex she would bleed almost every time afterwards, and still pretty often (we’ve been together a year now).
I was a virgin and she was not, so for a while I thought I was doing something wrong. She never bled after sex with anyone before me, but she swears that the sex is amazing with me and she and doesn’t want me to stop or change anything.
A few times my finger will slip and I’ll nick her clit with a fingernail or pull out a little too fast after fisting, and I feel horrible afterward. Most of the time though, neither of us have any idea why she bleeds. Usually it’s just a little, but one time it was gushing and I really wanted to go to the ER. We didn’t, and she was fine and stopped bleeding pretty quickly. I was not being rough at all and we had just started when she started bleeding that time.
So after that one time with all the blood she doesn’t bleed as much or as often, but now she has UTIs all the time. Is this normal??? It is a horrible feeling to constantly make your girlfriend bleed and hurt.
I bleed almost every time, usually just a little. It almost never hurts me. I’ve looked into it and couldn’t really come up with an answer for myself, but it could be the cervix getting bumped, not being lubed up enough, or remnants of hymen being torn. Basically, there’s no good answer, but none of those things are causes for concern. And she can try taking cranberry extract to prevent the UTIs! You might try vaginapagina over at livejournal, they’re very helpful with this sort of stuff :)
yes! i would like to know why this happens too. i have had sex with boys and girls without much pain or ever any blood — but with my present girlfriend I often bleed after sex. She says it has happened before with other partners but nobody seems to know what causes it? It’s not a lube issue. Maybe the cervix is getting bumped if that is a real thing.
That sounds more like she’s nicking you with her nails, because I think the lube/cervix/hymen stuff would be more likely to happen with other people, too. But I dunno.
Bleeding after sex is usually harmless, but also is not normal and is a reason to go to the gynecologist. It’s totally a real thing to bump your cervix and make it bleed, especially if the cervix is grumpy about something. The cervix has so many feelings…
The Mayo Clinic has a better explanation: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/bleeding-after-vaginal-sex/MY00785
I soo wana have hard violent damage Walls, injure myself but like it sex! Right.now!
But this mayb a direct result of not having any good sex in almost a year! Definite blue vagina over hear…
I do have one question tho “when tlking to or flirting witha cute girl or even see a hot chick, do you become very aware of your middle finger? I play with mine all time! If I’m alone i make a fist and lightly punch my other hand in an uppercut sort of move! Lol I’m such a reject, can someone please have pity sex with me?U don’t have to do anything lay there…. Too pathetic? Ok il stop now….
Tears + blood is probably the worst that has happened to me I think, which seems to be a fairly regular thing when I have sex (and unfortunately, it’s a bit painful). Also, it’s sort of embarrassing when you’re the one who causes the bleeding, it’s happened twice or so and I wanna smack myself in the head :c
So when you’re making Thai Green Curry for your girlfriend and you chop up all the spicy hot chillies and then you wash your hands a thousand times?????
A THOUSAND TIMES ISN’T ENOUGH. Because later on when you’re eating her out and then you suddenly decide to use a finger she’s gonna start screaming like her vag is on fire NOT IN A GOOD WAY. This will last for two days and no amount of pussy washing will make it go away any sooner. She said it was about the most painful thing she’s ever felt in her life.
So my advice is to use gloves when chopping chillies, or to get your straight guy roommate who probs won’t get laid for at least another decade to do it.
Oh man, this happened to me. In that I was chopping hot peppers…I had some kind of organic milk olive oil face wash and that helped. If she had used milk to wash and not water, that would have made the pain go away.
But yeah. If you chop hot peppers, clean around and under your nails and suck on your fingers to taste test them before putting them in someone. If they taste spicy, don’t use them!
The chopping, that is
Dammit!
lmao, good clarification.
i tore a ligament in my right ankle.
good times…
I’ve sustained a few minor injuries/mishaps. My two favorites are:
1) Being kicked in the face while trying to scissor on a narrow couch. Baby lesbian failure. My ex had (has) huge feet, no big deal.
2) My ex’s mother knocked on her door while I was eating her out, her hips jerked, smacked me in the face, and I was shoved off of her lofted bed. Fun times!
I’ve also messed up my fingers/wrists/jaw, and the odd cut or bruise (but those are usually more intentional.)
That Effing Dykes story was incredibly traumatic.
My injury wasn’t that out there, but the severity of it was. Making out with my (now) ex-gf, first time in her bed rather than mine. She was also topping me for the first time; I expected the role-reversal to be awkward, but it turned out to be unfathomably hot. I was sitting on the edge of the bed, she was straddling my lap, and after she undid my shirt, she pushed on my shoulder, indicating she wanted me to lay down. I was in such a trance from being so turned on that rather than slowly leaning back a few degrees at a time like a sane person, I just kind of free-fell backwards at full speed, misjudging the narrow width of the bed, and SLAMMED the back of my head into her wall. I dented it. There’s still a mold of the back of my skull in my ex’s bedroom wall. I was seeing stars and she was laughing her ass off. Then I got dizzy and nauseous and she stopped laughing. We got re-dressed (I was so out of it, she had to help me button my shirt o_o) and drove to the ER. I gave myself a grade 2 concussion. Not while trying some crazy sexual acrobatics, not while fucking with such abandon that I hadn’t noticed a head injury, not even while attempting sex in a weird location with a low ceiling. Neither of us had gotten past second base, we were in a normal bed, we were both almost fully clothed, and I gave myself temporary brain damage TRYING TO LIE DOWN. GO ME.
This. I’ve definitely done the same thing, more than once! Never had to go to the hospital, but you’re not alone in the laying down failure department!
I know this is way later, but sometime I like to go back and read these. I then realized that I have totally sprained my tongue from pleasing a woman I was involved with at the time. We had really intese sex for long periods of time, so that might explain why. But it was frustrating to deal with and made for interesting conversations. Of course, that happened once it wasn’t as painful to talk….
So right before Thanksgiving I had yucky, dirty, unfun party sex. It didn’t seem horribly painful at the time, but for the next several days every time I tried to walk I was in deep, deep pain. Soon, I had a raging, horrific yeast infection. I was on antibiotics at the time, so I figured this was pretty normal. I tried to treat it myself, but got nowhere. I finally went to the doctor (only the second time I’d seen this one, and I’ve since gotten a huge crush on her). She takes a peak inside and gets a very sad look on her face. “Oh, you have an angry, angry cervix. The moment I touched it, it started bleeding.” She gave me a prescription, which I had to refill five times to get that damned yeast infection to go away. My friends still like to joke about my angry cervix, though.
For long-nailed femmes, pad the tips of your glove with a bit of a cotton ball. It protects your manicure and keeps your partner’s vagina intact
My jaw is so sore from going down. I didn’t even know that was possible! It’s been a whole day since and it still hurts to chew…
Cut my clit once, it’s probably the worst pain ever. That’s a must heal before sex injury, trust me.