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Live-Blogging Dinah Shore Weekend Part III: Julie & Brandy vs. The Lesbians

Rachel
Apr 3, 2010

Hello lesbos and lesbo allies! Welcome to the 2010 Autostraddle Dinah Shore Weekend LIVEBLOG, taking place in Palm Springs from April 1st to April 5th.

We’re splitting our live-blogging by days.

Here’s our Thursday April 1 post and

our Friday April 2 post at Dinah.

Check back here often, as we’ll be constantly updating this page with plenty of pictures, reportage, tweets, and general nonsense from the Auto-Team here in Palm Springs: Riese, Alex, Brooke, Nat Garcia, Laneia, Sarah, Jess, Tess, Taylor and Kelsey.

We did this last year, but it was only Alex by her lonesome self creaming her pants over lesbians and Lady Gaga.

In case you missed our Official “Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Dinah Shore” Guide, here is the map of Palm Springs that sum up the weekend events:

Club Skirts events shown in magenta.

GirlBar events shown in light blue.

UPDATED MARCH 12 // CLICK TO ENLARGE

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Saturday April 3rd, 2010 at Dinah Shore Weekend:

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11:32 PM I’m sorry, I need to interrupt this broadcast for a special announcement: Katy Perry just came on my TV to try to sell me Proactiv? And saying that she’s a “free spirit?” What the fuck? I should be able to put myself on a federal “no Katy Perry list” the same way I can put myself on a no-call list. What is the opposite of buying Proactiv? I’m going to go do it right now.

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11:25 PM As someone who actually watched a good 20 minutes of the Oscars this year, I can say that the Club Skirts red carpet is 1 for 1. All I need is for someone to cry and thank God and the gays and I’ll be set. Also um Julie and Brandy are HAWT

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11:20 PM Ohmigod. GIRL.

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11:03 PM Riese and Julie on the red carpet! Where does the red carpet go? EDIT Oh this is the Club Skirts Hollywood Party! That makes a lot of sense actually. Sometimes I get pictures before I get told what the event is that is being photographed? My life is really hard, guys. I like Riese’s shoes a lot though! Girl!

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10:55 PM Let’s take a vote in the comments; how drunk do you think the team is right now on a scale of 1 to drunk? In other news, I made myself some hot cocoa.

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10:37 PM Riese says “this weekend has been a lot more like an episode of Skins than I expected. Except for death.” I hope that means that a lot of cute girls got to have sex with other cute girls in the supply closets of military academies. That’s what she means, right?

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10:19 PM Oh heyyyyyyyyyy remember like three hours ago when Taylor met some girl with a snake? I had maybe not taken that real seriously and pictured perhaps a stuffed snake, or a prank pop-out-of-a-can snake or something. Basically I had not assumed that was a real snake. GUESS WHAT I WAS WRONG

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9:51 PM Sarah: Alex is doing the bad romance dance for us.

#obviously #ughwhyaminotthere

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9:44 PM Sarah:Everyone is coming back to the room to drink and get ready for the night!

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9:40 PM Did you know that Salt n Pepa is tonight? It is! Kind of like how Ke$ha was last night but we have so far heard nothing about Ke$ha. Did anyone even go to that? I mean, she’s a very big deal you guys. Maybe she wore another “Indian” costume and the entire rest of the internet is blowing up about it and we missed it. ANYWAYS I found a Salt n Pepa youtube video for you. You’re welcome.

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9:16 PM I’m crossing my fingers for you, ladies

9:11 PM Hey look a picture of Jennifer Coolidge! She’s performing at the HRC fundraiser! I think she was in Best of Show, right? I really liked that movie. Anyways!

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9:04 PM Sooo, just to recap: Half the team is drinking and LOLing at Jennifer Coolidge at the HRC fundraiser, and the other half is drinking and having fun at an unnamed but cute-looking bar/restaurant. In contrast, I am watching a Quilted Northern commercial and thinking about microwaving my cup of tea because it’s gone cold. Oh hey, Starship Troopers just came on! In short, I think the rest of the autoteam is maybe getting the better half of this deal.

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8:58 PM I think we’re inside now! #pretty

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8:47 PM Saturday Night Um you guys the Club Skirts Hollywood Party is turning into like an actual red carpet. I am impressed! There’s Grace Chu in the white blazer!

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8:38 PM Oh Brooke wants credit for her red carpet pictures. YOU GUYS ALL THE RED CARPET PICTURES WERE TAKEN BY BROOKE, I think they look fabulous for real

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8:34 PM Um sorry for the really embarrassing WordPress disaster! Sometimes you go to Dinah with everyone with even a basic understanding of how to run an online magazine and leave some girl in charge who was an intern as of like two weeks ago, what can I say? We’re back now! I love you! Look I made you a drink! No I didn’t this is for me.

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8:32 PM HI GUYS we’re having a lot of really special WordPress Moments over here, and the old post is um broken. Read this one for the rest of the night! I bet there will be more photos of Brandy looking pretty!

8:29 PM I feel like no one is reading anymore, which is really too bad because I think the team just starting drinking and that means shit is about to get real

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8:28 PM Brooke: At the GirlBar HRC fundraiser with Riese, Alex, Julie and Brandy. Jennifer Coolidge is performing. And we are sitting in the back of the room like the cool kids we are.

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8:21 PM Sarah: We are eating dinner and hanging out and talking before we see SALT AND PEPA We’re out at a restaurant instead of the hotel!

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7:58 PM Have no idea where anyone is. I may just start live-blogging my RSS feed.

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7:41 PM WELL THEN

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7:33 PM Look! A cute picture of Tess and Nat! I don’t know where they are so I’m going to start making stuff up. They’re out at dinner celebrating how Nat and Julie and Brandy won every webseries award ever! Congratulations!

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7:22 PM Riese just sent me this picture. I am going to assume it was also from the webseries battle? How long is that lasting? Like, forever? Natalie is pretty.

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7:13 PM I am told that this is what the Autostraddle booth looked like this afternoon. Slash maybe still looks like now. Slash maybe the team has been abducted by aliens. And/or playing beer pong? Don’t you think this table would be great for beer pong? Slash beirut. We call it beirut here.

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6:58 PM Radio silence persists. Oh wait no, we just got a really choice quote from my favorite video editing assistant in the world Kelsey:

“Girls are fucking nuts. So much drama all the time. In the hall, in the bed…” -Kelsey

Thank you for that, Kelsey. We hope to hear more from you later.

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6:00 PM Sarah: Julie Goldman was all kinds of perfect when she introduced our web series. We have video for later!

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5:53 PM Let’s talk a little about this lesbian webseries battle, for those of you who are too lazy to click the link below. It’s hosted by Suzanne Westenhoefer for Club Skirts, which is obvs great, and features Anyone But Me, AutoNatic, Cherry Bomb, FEED, Girltrash, Insight, In Your Box Office, Seeking Simone, The Lovers & Friends Show, The Real Girl’s Guide to Everything Else, and We Have To Stop Now. Actually that’s mostly all I know. Are they actually competing for real at Dinah? Like do they have to race or fight or anything? I have no idea. Brooke sent some pictures though!

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5:34 PM SO! What went down while I was gone was um probably one of the top 3 most important things at Dinah, namely OneMoreLesbian’s Battle of the Lesbian Webseries. Because if there’s one thing lesbians love it’s webseries, and if there’s one thing Autostraddle loves it’s WINNING. Speaking of which, I am pretty sure we won something! I wish I knew what.

I’m just going to go ahead and assume that we won every award for lesbian webseries ever, and that this photo was why. Sexy hot hot hotness and JULIE GOLDMAN BOOB GRAB. You’re welcome.

The Lovers & Friends Show won the whole she-bang, which makes a lot of sense because they’re fantastic and incredibly talented. I don’t think they had Nat Garcia grab their tits though so really I would say we all walked away winners.

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5:31 PM Wow ok I was gone for a really long time! Sorry about that, but now I am fed and have a glass of wine and there’s a really good documentary on the History Channel about the Shroud of Turin, so I’m pretty much all set to make this liveblog the best ever. Get exciteddddddd

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5:28 PM HI okay I’m not really back yet BUT the Battle of the Lesbian Webseries with Club Skirts is going down right now and I just had to put up this picture, it is the most adorable thing. More soon!

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4:40 PM Um I think I need to eat dinner? I might be bad at blogging for a while, sorry, I will leave you with this, you’re welcome

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4:37 PM omg omg

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4:35 PM

Nat: Who was that girl earlier talking to the girl with the drugs? Was that tess?

Taylor: I don’t know?

Riese: It was Taylor.

Taylor: Okay, it was me. Look, I’m a sketchy-ass motherfucker, let’s just be straight about this right away. I am a sketchy. Ass. Motherfucker.

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4:20 PM We were not kidding about Brandy giving everyone a 10. Look, she’s giving me a 10 right now. Also you, you just scored a 10. Damn girl, Brandy thinks you’re fine! I feel so good about myself right now

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4:15 PM Who invented aviators? I feel like they should be paying us, no one else is ever going to rock them like this

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4:12 PM OH SHIT YOU GUYS get ready for #cutecity, it’s about to happen

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3:54 PM You guys, I’m crying. There are tears in my eyes. #desertstraddle2010 #iloveeveryone

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3:42 PM Bet you $20 that’s a water bottle full of whiskey

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3:30 PM “Oh my god, there’s the lady from the titty thing!” -Brandy Howard

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3:25 PM Actually this particular Ani album is great but a little too chilled-out, may have to switch to Little Plastic Castles. #twolittlegirls

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3:10 PM Okay, it’s getting kind of late in the day back in The Real World slash east coast where I am, and I would be lying if I said I did not want to take a nap. BUT I just put on my Ani playlist, so am anticipating a strong second wind. Get ready for it to get real fuckin’ gay in here. #totheteeth

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2:55 PM You guys. You guys, Laneia just sent me the most Dinah-esque photo. It’s like when Raven says “that’s so Raven,” except like “that’s so Dinah.” You could look at this endlessly and still find more layers of essential Dinah Shore-ness. Lesbians! Tattoos! Boardshorts! Banners with poor graphic design! #Beer! I think someone in the corner is crying b/c their current girlfriend’s ex’s best friend who is also their ex was in the wet t-shirt contest with another girl! Maybe if we look really hard SamRo will be in there, like lesbian Where’s Waldo! Thank you, Laneia!

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2:38 PM Riese and Julie share a moment of quiet reflection and beer.

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2:25 PM Alex: It’s me and Nicole Pacent from Anyone But Me!

Christ, I am officially the only gay girl in the entire world who is not in Palm Springs right now.

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2:16 PM Brooke: Me with Lezzie Lilly and her entourage at the GirlBar Wet&Wild Pool Party!

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2:10 PM FINALLY. Where you been girl? #tinkerbellstraddle2010

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1:39 PM #WETTSHIRTTWEETS

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1:34 PM You guys, Brandy’s just giving everyone a 10. I support this.

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1:20 PM GET IT GIRL

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1:13 PM I appreciate that ladies who are wearing bikinis instead of t-shirts aren’t barring themselves from participation

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1:10 PM Ahaha I just swallowed my tongue

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1:06 PM WHAT IS HAPPENING HGJTYOIUONPFF

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1:04 PM Laneia: This wet t-shirt contest is CRAZY

Um, YES, I would say that is true. YOU’RE NOT EVEN WEARING A TSHIRT OMG

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12:01 PM Oh hi there.

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12:57 PM GIRL. This shit is about to go DOWN.

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12:53 PM Brooke: I’ve managed to sneak myself into the DJ booth!

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12:44 PM EXECUTIVE LESBIAN REALNESS #DESERTSTRADDLE2010

I think the Club Skirts wet t-shirt contest is sooooooooonnnn, I feel it in my bones

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12:34 PM Oh man you guys you should delete that previous group photo that I know you secretly saved to your hard drive to keep forever and use this one instead, it has an extra special treat:

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11:20 AM Brooke wants to give a shoutout to reader Niyo who hooked her up with a free brunch at the Hyatt. Niyo I don’t know who you are but you are a beautiful human being

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12:09 PM I wonder if we get pictures of the wet t-shirt contest too? Am I allowed to put that on here? Cause just saying, CSI is on and I got a check for $17 from the federal government today, the only thing that could make it better is sunburned lesbian nipple. #desertstraddle2010

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12:03 PM Look! Julie and Brandy are on their way to judge the at the wet-shirt contest at the Club Skirts Cabana Girl Pool Party! I think this is super cute, I am even more excited about them than #mileystraddle. Also did you watch their new In Your Box Office yet? You should b/c it was magical

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11:40 AM Er also:

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11:30 AM We interrupt this Teen Choice Awards broadcast to bring you a special missive from our CEO of Ideas and total baller Riese, she said to paraphrase but I’m not going to b/c Riese is good at writing words:

Today is the Club Skirts wet t-shirt contest judged by Julie & Brandy. Last night we went to GirlBar’s White Party to see SamRo, unfortunately Lindsay did not follow her there, but every time she touched the turntables with her giant lesbian fingers, Laneia and I shivered a little inside from the hotness. Everyone from GirlBar was super sweet and awesome to us, and I got to touch Jennifer Coolidge’s butt! Brooke basically got us passes to events at both of the parties and I love it. Do I sound like product placement right now? I just want world peace, Rachel, that’s what I want.

Tonight we are moving everyone into the same hotel room so that our second room can be given to Julie & Brandy. Because this puts me, Laneia and her broken foot, Sarah, Alex, Taylor, Kelsey, Tess and Jess in the same room, we’ve decided that everyone has to be in an open relationhsip so we can all find different places to sleep.

I personally am excited for #desertstraddle2010 to be taken to its logical conclusion, #giantlesbianorgystraddle2010.

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11:11 AM Can we start a rumor that Miley Cyrus is at Dinah/in Palm Springs because she’s a lesbian? How old is she, like 15? That’s old enough to know. Will I get sued? Yes, probably, and lose my job. #mileystraddle2010

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10:55 AM Forget the rest of Dinah, I’m going to devote the rest of this liveblog to people’s Miley Cyrus reactions. It’s going to take all day to process this.

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10:48 AM OH SHIT Jess:OMG MILEY f*in CYRUS at Coffee Bean. At first I was distracted because Suzanne Westenhoefer was ALSO in our coffee line, but then shit got amazing when we saw Miley with her super gay assistant manhandling her morning coffee. Kelsey and I chased her down upon exiting the ‘Bean and explained that we needed a photo for our lesbian Dinah liveblog because let’s face it, this is fucking hilarious. Her gay assistant took this pic of Miley, Kelsey and I, instructing us: “1, 2, 3 say lesbos!”

Video Assistant Kelsey, Miley Cyrus & Editorial Assistant Jess - Dinah Shore 2010

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10:40 AM And so it begins:

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10:36 AM EST Jess: It’s 10am, everyone’s hung over, and 2 sporty spice women in GO

Magazine tank tops are jogging down N. Palm Canyon Way.

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10:28 AM – PALM SPRINGS TIME Alex: We are recovering. Slowly but surely. Julie and Brandy arrive today, and will be judging a wet t-shirt contest in about 2 hours or so.

1 PM EST Hellllooooooooo everybody! Did you sleep well? Are you hungover? We are. I wasn’t even drinking but I woke up with a sympathy headache. I kind of can’t believe the white party happened? Wheeee! Let’s do this!