Julie & Brandy in Your Box Office #6: Sex and The City 2

It will come as no surprise to you that Julie Goldman and Brandy Howard did not enjoy Sex and the City 2. It will also come as no surprise to you that their re-enactment is ten bajillion times better than the actual film.

Sex and the City 2, starring Sarah Jessica Parker, Cynthia Nixon the lesbian, Kristin Davis, Kim Catrall and a bunch of dudes, has been critically panned by everyone except Alexi Melvin, most notably in this review from The Stranger: “SATC2 takes everything that I hold dear as a woman and as a human—working hard, contributing to society, not being an entitled cunt like it’s my job—and rapes it to death with a stiletto that costs more than my car. It is 146 minutes long, which means that I entered the theater in the bloom of youth and emerged with a family of field mice living in my long, white mustache. This is an entirely inappropriate length for what is essentially a home video of gay men playing with giant Barbie dolls.”

And here we have two grown women playing with themselves, and the results are glorious!

Yes, Autostraddle.com had a serious hosting situation this weekend which we have since remedied for a price equivalent to a trip to Abu Dabi (help!), but who cares really WE HAVE JULIE GOLDMAN LORDESS OF COMEDY AND BRANDY FUCKING HOWARD, QUEEN OF BEER COMMERCIALS here to finger Michael Patrick King’s asshole for you!

Julie Goldman and Brandy Howard are the Matt and Ben of Lesbian Movies. They are a sensational acting/writing duo that are trying to cause a sensation with their sensational, lesbian romantic-comedy, Nicest Thing.

Since no one wants to make their movie or cast them in anything, they feel it is their duty to harshly judge everyone else’s work, based on a sliding scale of rage, bitterness, lesbianism, and lack of any real significant training.