This First Kill review contains mild spoilers.
Okay, so my first thought when watching First Kill was “Oh, this is gay GAY”
I’ve been excited about this show forever, when I first heard the news I set a Google alert and tracked it along the way. It follows the story of Calliope (Cal), a monster killer in training who comes from a line of hunters; and Juliette, a vampire from a long line of legacy vamps who are damn near impossible to kill. Not only do we follow both girls on the path to their first kill — Cal must kill her first monster to be sworn in as a true hunter, and Juliette must kill her first human in order to be placed in the matriarchal line of her vampire family — we watch them fall in love. It’s a sweet (and sometimes bloody) story of firsts — first times, first kills, and first loves.
It took me a few episodes to really get into the series and then I realized that although I enjoyed parts of it, this show is not for me in the slightest. This is not the vibe where it’s like “Oh, you can be a full ass adult and enjoy this little show about teens.” (I’m looking at you Riverdale seasons 1-3) NO. This is very much for (and aimed at) the youths and I love that for them. It’s for the teen gays who don’t have to be on edge while watching girls kiss on the TV in the family room because they are fully out and no one cares.
It has groping, grabbing, making out, and even some fingerplay in the woods. I don’t want to make the sexual aspects the main focus, but I believe it deserves to be talked about. Pop culture loves to make young dykes out to be sweet hand-holding girls who only know how to pine and cry, while young gay boys get to be horned up and fuck in locker rooms. That same vibe then follows us into more “adult” pop culture, where we are written as grown women who can only have unrequited crushes or who get into relationships where sex becomes a chore or non-existent.
I think it’s important that we write queer teen girls as sexual beings and not just sweethearts. It’s one of the few times where I want art to reflect reality. Do you know how much I would have loved to see horny teen lesbians on TV when I was a horny teen lesbian? It would have made me feel like a little less of a freak. Shit, I’m a sexed-up grown lesbian and I am STILL starved for quality TV that reflects me (I am NOT looking at you Gen Q). So, I like that this show is filled with big scoops of teen sapphic sex, love, and blood and hopefully, it’s making some teen dyke out there feel seen — or at the very least encouraging them to buy some fangs.
Side note: Although the show isn’t written for anyone over the age of like 20 to truly connect to, they did put some bites in it for us — every mom on the show is very, VERY hot.
So In the style of my lovely writer homie THEE Emma Specter, here are a few thoughts I had while watching the first season of First Kill.
25 40 50 A buncha thoughts I had while watching Season 1 of First Kill
- Ahhhh My Sweet Sapphic 16 Summer
- Like J-Kwon said, teen drinking is very bad or whatever (not whatever…that is exactly what he said)
- Why do they live in a house that is a slight knock-off of The Cullens Forks mansion?
- EVEN VAMPIRE TEENS LIE TO THEIR PARENTS!
- Is that Serena van der Woodsen’s mom?!
- “Paging Christina Tucker to the front office”
- I don’t know how I feel about these opening credits….
- No one noticed the grown-ass woman at the teen house party?
- I’ve decided that I absolutely need to take a trolley at some point in the near future.
- This is legit the ugliest monster I have ever seen in my life.
- Let me re-read Kayla’s knifeplay piece real quick…
- First Kill they said it!!! They said it!!!
- Romeo and Juliet who?!
- Why is she sleeping in a long sleeve PJ set and with two comforters in Savannah, GA?
- She has Cher’s wardrobe and Amber’s attitude — I love it?
- WIGS!!
- Very here for hot Black parents making out in kitchens after communicating well, I hope this is my future.
- Is that a lamp of an anatomical heart or am I reading far too deep into this?
- I am here to admit that I do not know how to play dominoes. But I am in firm possession of a West Indian girlfriend who has said they will teach me.
- I honestly can’t stand a vampire with morals. Like, who do you think you are, Bill Compton?
- If there are any vampires reading this — COME TURN ME! MY Address is 36…
- LOL, I hate how shows are like “To let you know the characters on screen are Black, we will cut to a scene that has rap music playing in the background whilst they conversate in AAVE”. Please stop.
- Girl, I swear if you don’t just fucking eat somebody, like, get over it.
- Is that a fucking caftan?
- UH-OH?! UNDER THE TREE?! OKAY!
- Ugh, not threatening with the police.
- Why hasn’t anyone screamed “BUT DADDY I LOVE HER!!” yet?
- I do not buy this hair switch up but you know what, that’s fine.
- This is cute as shit.
- LOL, it has been all of like, 3 days.
- Uh-oh, testy testy.
- I want to ask if the youths will get that Grey Gardens reference but I understood Grey Gardens references when I was 16 so — fingers crossed.
- You tell ‘em, baby!
- I hope that zombie tears his ass to pieces.
- What is this top doing?
- Absolutely not.
- Because I said so.
- LOL, not this.
- Okay but…I don’t get it.
- The amount of cops in this is unsettling.
- Is he cute or am I being hypnotized by this seersucker shirt?
- Is this a southern thing because my mama tells me to wear clean drawls all the time for the exact same reason.
- It’s Savannah, Georgia and y’all are ordering whiskey neat and wearing trench coats? I simply don’t understand.
- Wait is this a vampire bar?
- That text did not say all that but okay.
- These pajamas are VV cute.
- ACTING!!!!!
- First of all, I was trying to help.
- Second of all, who are you talking to?
- Girl…….
- Again — ACTING!!!!!
- Here is a thought — we could just ask that nigga what he wants and then let him go about his business.
- This being her angry music is taking me out.
- Come on track star!!!
- ACTTTTTIIIINNNGGGGGGG MAMA ACTTTTINNNGGG!!
- Hey dimples :)
- Okay — now kithe.
- I’ve figured it out…..he is cute.
First Kill is streaming now on Netflix! Go watch it, but before you do, be honest — if you found out your crush was a vampire would you or would you not ask them to turn you? Let me know in the comments!
