Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, Is a Member of the Alphabet Mafia

Feature photo of Elvira, who came out as some kinda gay in her new memoir, by Richard Blanshard/Getty Images

Queers that are already compiling their 31 horror movies in 31 days list rejoice, Elvira is some kinda gay or bisexual. Well, maybe she didn’t use those terms exactly — but she revealed in her memoir, Yours Cruelly, Elvira, that she has been in a relationship with a woman for the past 19 years.

Elvira, who’s name is Cassandra Peterson, has starred in macabre films from the early 70’s up until recent years, and she’s made cameos in some of your favorite shows, comic books, and video games. On top of being the queen of all things dark and chilling, Elvira is also a sex symbol. Her vampy looks and hourglass figure have solidified her as an icon for those that are obsessed with horror and hot women.

In an article by The Advocate, snippets of the memoir were uncovered, including the detail that when they first met, Peterson mistook her beau, Teresa “T” Wierson, for a man.

“Often, when I was doing my pre-workout warm-up on the treadmill, I couldn’t help noticing one particular trainer — tan, tattooed, and muscular — stalking across the gym floor, knit cap pulled so low over his long brown hair that it nearly covered his eyes,” she writes.

It wasn’t until they met in the ladies room (!!!) that Elvira realized Wierson was a woman. What kinda meet-cute shit is that!? We love to see it! We love to imagine the startled double-take she must have given when the brooding figure she was (I’m assuming) lusting over turned out to be a woman.

The two remained friends for years after that first encounter, until (again, I’m assuming) one dark and stormy night where the sky was a deep blue and the lightning strikes lit their faces. On the night in question, they went out for a movie, and Elvira describes an urge to kiss Wierson, that I’m sure she followed up on at some point and it was super steamy and hot.

“I think I was even more surprised. What the hell was I doing? I’d never been interested in women as anything other than friends. I felt so confused. This just wasn’t me! I was stunned that I’d been friends with her for so many years and never noticed our chemistry,” she goes on. “I soon discovered that we connected sexually in a way I’d never experienced.”

It remains a momentous joy for me when people of notoriety and fame come out of the closet after years of the public assuming they are straight. When celebrities come out, there is inevitably the kind of person that says something like “duh! this isn’t news!!”

That kind of response is super weird to me. Like god just let people be happy that someone famous and hot came out. Maybe you are the arbiter of sacred queer news but some of us only learn when that celebrity says “I’m in a relationship with a woman” for the whole world to hear.

It’s also just really beautiful to hear of queer love that has lasted almost two decades, the idea of two women growing old together warms my jaded little heart. Congratulations to Cassandra Peterson on this incredible news, and just in time for the Halloween season, like god what a fucking icon.