Cheese Boards to Make You Feel Like You Have Your Shit Together

Cheese is one of the coolest things on earth – it is history, and science, and creativity. Every wheel is special, and they each rely on a lot of hard work and passion from farmers, cheesemakers, affineurs (cheese-agers), and cheesemongers (cheese-sellers, like me!) around the world for years and years to eventually make it to your plate.

But just because every wheel is special, doesn’t mean that good cheese should be reserved just for special occasions. I’m a big believer in making good cheese accessible to everyone who wants it, whenever they want it. Because really, we all deserve fancy cheese just because it’s Wednesday.

When it comes to cheese boards and pairings, I don’t really buy into the idea that there are any real “rules” to it. If you like two things together, guess what, they go together! You did it, you made a pairing! I personally love to eat cheese and potato chips and chocolate cookies, because at the end of the day I’m a broke lesbian with a major snack food craving at all times. That being said, I also sometimes like to pretend I’m a real adult and pull out all the honeys and fruits and other things and put together pretty boards that make me feel fancy as hell. (And honestly? Posting pretty cheese boards on my Instagram has on multiple occasions led to other dykes proposing in my DMs while I eat all the cheese alone in my house with my cat Basil, and that’s all I can really ask for on a humble Wednesday night.)

Fancy cheese boards make me feel like a real grown up who has their shit together, and I can always use a little more of that feeling in my life, so here is a fancy cheese board for every day of the week, to really really feel like you’ve got it together.

Sunday

Clockwise from top left: Murray’s Cavemaster Reserve Lait Bloomer // Vermont Creamery Bijou // Parma Cotto // Three Little Pigs Petit Toasts // Carrots // Alp Blossom // Mitica Sunflower Honey // Red Currants // French Broad Malted Milk Chocolate // Roasted Almonds

This is probably my favorite board of the bunch, because it includes one of my favorite cheeses — Alp Blossom, a lovely Austrian cheese that is literally coated in wildflowers. To keep the floral theme going on this board, I also included the Lait Bloomer and a yummy little sunflower honey. The whole thing tastes like springtime and sweetness.

Monday

Clockwise from top left: Granny Smith Apples // Red Grapes // Mitica Sunflower Honey // OG Kristal // Raisins // Bedford Cheese Shop Brie de Jouvence Fermier // The Baking Bean Raspberry Honeycomb Bark // Three Little Pigs Petit Toasts

Keeping it a little more simple here, I grabbed the classic Brie de Jouvence Fermier, a creamy mushroomy dream, and some crumbles of OG Kristal, a gouda which has notes of butterscotch and cherries. I also found this fantastic chocolate bark with raspberries and dried honeycomb, and honestly this little board was exactly what I needed at the end of a nine hour shift.

Tuesday

Clockwise from top left: Red Grapes // Three Little Pigs Petit Toasts // Quadrello di Bufala // White Currants // Uncle Jerry’s Specials Pretzels // Sabra Roasted Pine Nut Hummus // Carrots // Petit Billy

I’ll confess, the hummus on this board only originally existed because I was making this cheeseboard while hanging out with friends and I didn’t want the vegans to be left out (and sorry — I’ve yet to find a vegan cheese that works for snacking instead of just cooking with!) At any rate, the combo of hummus + salty pretzels + soft cheeses was actually a surprisingly perfect little snack for everybody and I was very into it.

Wednesday

Clockwise from top left: Bedford Cheese Shop Honey Chili Peanuts // Blackberries // Peaches // Mary’s Gone Crackers Black Pepper Crackers // Bedford Cheese Shop Lemon Baked Ricotta // St. Dalfour Red Raspberry Jam // Raisins // Crown Maple Amber Syrup // Lily’s Creamy Milk Chocolate // Lazy Lady Farm Bonaparte

This is my go-to board combo when I want to feel luxurious. The baked lemon ricotta cake is silky and sweet and delicious, and the bright little goat’s milk cheese is fantastic. A drizzle of honey, some chocolate, and some fresh fruit from the farmer’s market is all you need to tie it all together.

Thursday

Clockwise from top left: Sogno Toscano Tarelli with Rosemary // Amy’s Bread // Marinated Feta with Olives // Bedford Cheese Shop Manchego 1605 // Pulse Roasted Chickpeas with Garlic and Sea Salt // Spiced Olive Oil // Roasted Almonds // Murray’s Tomme Brulee

I’m a big lover of savory foods, so this board was very much born out of my 4am craving for pasta and garlic bread. There’s a young sheepy Manchego, Tomme Brulee (one of my favorite snacking cheeses), and some yummy herbaceous marinated feta. Rosemary tarelli and garlic roasted chickpeas round it out and make everything that much more delicious.

Friday

Clockwise from top left: Strawberries // Blackberries // Blueberries // St. Dalfour Red Raspberry Jam // Bedford Cheese Shop Quadrupel // Jelina 36% Maple Crunch Chocolate // Cashel // Orange Blossom Honey

Cheeseboards can be dessert, that’s a fact I stand behind. This is one of my fave end of the week post-dinner semi-dessert cheese boards. Quadrupel is a buttery, slightly boozy, Belgian cheese I normally use for mac & cheese, but added to a board with the sweet and salty Irish Cashel, and some maple milk chocolates? They all marry together to become a super satisfying and slightly sweet little combo.

Saturday

Clockwise from top left: Bedford Cheese Shop Honey Chili Peanuts // Vallee Brebidoux // Apicoltura Luca Finocchio Millefiori Honey // Red Pears // Mike’s Hot Honey // Mary’s Gone Crackers Black Pepper Crackers // French Broad Malted Milk Chocolate // Raspberries // Blueberries

Another semi-dessert board to end the night with — but this one takes sweetness and adds a little spice. I started with Vallee Brebidoux, a buttery French sheep’s milk cheese, and paired it with Mike’s Hot Honey, red pears, honey chili coated peanuts, some malted milk chocolate chunks, and a couple black pepper crackers. Sweet and buttery with just a little kick to cut some of the sweetness.