Assigning Lipsticks From My Extensive Femme Collection to Every Astrological Sign

Culturally, we are in our power top high femme era imo. Blockbusters like Barbie and Mean Girls celebrate high femme aesthetics in ways that aren’t completely hetero. It feels like the Y2K But I’m a Cheerleader vibe reimagined. We’re queer, wearing heels, taking down the patriarchy, and flirting with you. There was a point in my life where all the glittery pink and purple fluff felt immature and too straight. Over the past year, though, I’ve reclaimed some of that as intrinsically gay, and not just for gay cis men either.

Queerleading, femme fatale, and influential queer housewife lore all has me buying cutesie femme products I haven’t owned since I was 13. Among these products is an abundance of expensive lipsticks. I blame TikTok (like I do for most things), but the truth is: I feel empowered when I wear lipstick. I put colors on my lips, and I feel like I can get the girl and get the job. So, in celebration of this, here’s what I think of each star sign as a lip product I’ve owned.

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Aries

We all know an Aries, and we all know what an Aries can be like for better or for worse. What’s more fierce, bold, independent, and classic than an expensive long-lasting red? The Rouge Dior in shade Forever Glam is exactly what you want from a go-to red but more vibrant and passionate. It’s almost like it’s too much for a Tuesday, but you do it anyway, because fuck it you deserve to be there. You do what you want, even if it is a bit extra.

Taurus

When I think of Tauruses, I think of this one woman I used to be in love with. She definitely wouldn’t wear lipstick, but if there were a lipstick-wearing, more femme version of her in the universe, she would wear the Chanel Rouge Coco Flash in shade Dominant. It sounds and looks more intimidating than it actually is. This shade is for the hardworking person who doesn’t have a lot of time and still wants to look cute, but not in a way that’s going to draw too much attention.

Gemini

I have a love/hate relationship with Geminis, but then again, who doesn’t? Something we can all agree on is that they’re truly one-of-a-kind, which is why I’ve chosen Tanaïs’ Moon Beam Lustrous Lipstick. I actually discovered them through their book, In Sensorium, which I reviewed for Autostraddle. They’re a writer, author, creator, perfumer, and so much more. I love supporting their work. This shade, however, seems like it would be really loud, but instead has an elusive, mysterious vibe. This is also what makes it so alluring and adaptable.

Cancer

Cancer’s are most certainly Chanel’s Rouge Coco in shade Rose Malicieux. This is fancier than I’d like it to be, but it certainly is a shade that comes with a personality. Even though it’s all the things you associate with a preteen slumber party (crushes, feelings, nostalgia), it’s quite striking and flashy. Underneath all that color, it’s really a tender, creamy, rose-scented kiss of love. Also, I’m pretty sure it’s discontinued, so you get to be unique and elusive.

Leo

Confident, flirty, fierce, and viral! The NYX Fat Oil in shade Supermodel is all of these things and more. I’m always a little skeptical of TikTok dupes, but this one really knocked it out of the park. You can find it basically anywhere, but it stands out from the crowd every time. It gives you a little passionate edge at work or after dark. It’s thrilling and trendy, but definitely not for everyone despite what it looks like.

Virgo

When I think of a Virgo, I think about the more reasonable parts of myself (I’m a Virgo moon and rising), my very practical and calculated sister, and a few people I’ve dated who are all just very solid, kind, and a little bit too perfect. I’m going with the NYX Fat Oil in shade My Main, because it’s clear, fool-proof, reliable, and great for perfectionists because you truly cannot mess it up. I found out about its sister via TikTok (see Leo), but this is a more stable and timeless version of that.

Libra

I’ve never not loved a libra in my life. They’re my ride-or-dies, my go-to gals, the people who will bring the fun, bring the shade, and bring the realness. That’s why Rare Beauty’s lip souffle in shade Fearless is my choice for them. It’s the new classic that gives a little color, a little fun, but isn’t super in your face.  When I think “balance,” I think the whole Rare Beauty collection. It’s intentional, neutral, and for everyone.

Scorpio

It’s too obvious to assign a black lipstick to Scorpio (even though I very much went through a black lip phase). They’re more nuanced than that. This may be an unpopular opinion, but I think they would be this matte taupe color from MAC. At first glance, it may seem soft, but a nude lip is a statement and a whole mood. If you’re intentionally doing a well-done muted lip, that means something bold and exciting is happening on other parts of your body. A nude lip is sneaky and stylish, just like a Scorpio.

Sagittarius

I’ve fallen in and out of love with many Sags. Even though many have broken my heart, they’re all pretty well-rounded and a great dinner party guest. e.l.f.’s Glow Reviver Lip Oil in shade Honey Talks is affordable, honest, and will follow you in whatever adventure you take on next. It’s easy to love and versatile, giving just enough glam to lighten up any mood. It’s minty and refreshing, which is definitely an added bonus.

Capricorn

Capricorns need something trustworthy and practical like Thrive Causemetics’ Sheer Strength in shade Melissa. It’s manufactured and marketed by a place that really cares about where their products come from and where they’re headed next. The shade itself isn’t going to necessarily be noticeable, but it will give you what you need and make you feel satisfied. It’s a soft and gentle staple in any makeup bag.

Aquarius

It’s me! Instead of going with my personal go-to, I actually want to introduce a color that surprised me. The Sephora Collection lipstick 69 in shade Werk It is my pick. It’s not what you think it’s going to be. It appears pink and girly but is translucent and somehow also bold. When it shines, it’s captivating and dynamic. However, in bad lighting, it can seem a little off. Also, they no longer sell this in stores, so we’re unique and collectable now 💁🏽‍♀️.

Pisces

Oh, Pisces. You’re always the ones with all the messy feelings, even if you don’t wear your heart on your sleeve 24/7. You might not know who you are, but everyone else does. When I originally ordered Chanel’s Rouge Dior Forever Liquid in shade Forever Famous, I thought it was that one shade that went viral because it was super glittery. Well, it wasn’t that, but I was pleasantly surprised by what it actually was: a slightly deeper brick red suitable for drinks, dinner, and dancing. Sure, it’s a little smudgy if you don’t set it or if you’re reckless, but it’s a beautiful shade that romanticizes even the dullest of days.

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Can you believe I’ve owned all these products? I guess I’m a bougie bitch. Anyway, I’d love to hear your thoughts and recommendations in the comments. What would you suggest for an Aquarius Sun, Virgo Moon, and Virgo Rising? Asking for a friend.

Leola Davis and Pansy Esthetics Are Here to Queer Skincare

Pansy Esthetics feature image by Wondra

If you asked me to describe my skin in one word, my first response would be: thick. As in, I have a thick skin. Even after finally adopting a more complex skincare routine than face soap + moisturizer, I still haven’t taken the time to really understand the specificities of my literal skin. I don’t even know what a serum is even if I now put it on my face twice a day.

But I say I have a thick skin, because as a trans woman that’s felt like the best option. To feel upset every time I’m misgendered or experience another microaggression, would be to live in a constant state of upset. Instead I shrug and move on with my day.

I say I have a thick skin, but the truth is the way I’m perceived by the world does my impact my actions. While it doesn’t prevent me from going out and having fun, it does probably factor into my reluctance to, say, go to the dentist. Since I’ve been treated with disdain and confusion in doctors’ offices where I specifically received gender care, there’s no hope elsewhere. Maybe that’s why it’s been years since I went to a dermatologist. Maybe that’s why I’d never even considered the luxury of getting a facial.

Enter Leola Davis.

My trans guy friend had been seeing Leola Davis for six months when he recommended I go to her. As the owner of Pansy Esthetics, Davis promises “an inclusive and safe space for all.” But, for Davis, trans clients being treated with respect is just the beginning. Trans people also have a lot of specific skincare needs — for example, my friend saw Davis for changes to his skin after starting testosterone.

“My goal in starting Pansy Esthetics was to make skincare accessible to my community,” Davis said. “I wanted to create a space where the queer community could come and get care and treatments geared specifically toward them and their skin and body.”

When I arrived at Davis’ office, another trans woman was leaving face aglow. And it’s not just transness that’s normalized at Pansy Esthetics — it’s also a judgment free zone for skincare ignorance. “As I started this skincare journey, I realized a lot of my queer and trans friends had never gotten facials or esthetic care,” Davis noted.

Even Davis herself hadn’t had a facial until 2019 — which led to monthly facials, which led to esthetics school, which led to opening her own company. She may now have clinical knowledge but there’s nothing clinical about the energy of her space. Instead, it feels more like receiving treatment and advice from a cool queer friend. It’s an energy trans people — and people in general! — are rarely granted in a medical-adjacent space.

The skincare concern I brought to my session was the aftermath of electrolysis. I had successful weekly electrolysis sessions for a year when I first transitioned, but then I moved and had a terrible experience in my new city. After just three sessions, my face began to scar. I switched to laser, but even years later I can still see the impact of those sessions. As I consider returning to electrolysis, I wanted advice on how to improve the current state of my skin — and prevent it from worsening if I went back to electrolysis. Davis answered my questions with ease.

And the impact of hair removal is just one trans-specific skincare need. There are also changes caused by HRT (Davis calls one of her most popular treatments for clients on T the Acne Slayer) and aftercare for gender affirming surgeries. Bemoaning a lack of aftercare instruction provided by many surgeons, Davis aims to fill that gap assisting clients in the healing process after top surgery and FFS.

While her office is based in Los Angeles, Davis doesn’t want to limit this education to one city. She has started offering virtual consults and skincare packages for day-to-day and for surgery aftercare.

Davis says she wants to create space for open communication and understanding. “Before clients even come in, I have them fill out a consultation form so they can tell me about themselves.” This form has basics like pronouns and whether someone is on HRT, as well as questions about chest treatment, robe size, and if someone wants a silent service.

After decades of watching my cis mom and sister act like facials were the height of luxury, I finally understood why. Under the care of Davis, I was able to relax and enjoy the experience, feel a real cleanse, and freely ask all the questions I had about skincare and my skin specifically. It was luxurious and educational all at once.

As a trans person, I may have developed a thick skin. But when getting treated at Pansy Esthetics, I didn’t need one. I could let go and focus on what really matters: getting a better exfoliant.

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To book an appointment with Pansy Esthetics visit their website. 

Queer Mom Chronicles: Let’s Talk Mom Fashion

It’s the beginning of the year, and one of my favorite things to do is to take advantage of holiday sales and give my wardrobe a refresh. I work from home, so the bulk of my wardrobe comprises leggings and sweats, but every so often, they need updating. One of my intentions for this year is to go out of the house more often and have clothes that are appropriate for doing so, and I realized that part of my wardrobe was severely lacking.

Curating a wardrobe as a mom has always been one of my biggest challenges. Once I came out, it felt even harder. I’m a femme, and I love to lean into that, but with a young kid, it was simply not practical. Wearing dresses in the summer is my go-to, but it didn’t make sense if I was going to be running behind a toddler on the jungle gym or playing with sidewalk chalk or water balloons. Even as he got older, it became harder to figure out what that balance looks like. I need things like pockets to hold small toys, tissues, or hand sanitizer. I may be a femme, but I don’t always love carrying a purse. I got cargo shorts a couple summers ago, and I was mad at myself for not getting a pair when my kid was a toddler.

I’m not kidding when I say that my mom style has changed at least four times since I was pregnant.

Being pregnant is the fucking worst when it comes to creating a sense of style and having to buy clothes. Your body is constantly changing, which creates logistical challenges. But as other queer moms have pointed out, maternity clothing is excessively and aggressively femme. I’m going to let you in on a little secret: I never bought a single piece of maternity branded clothing. It felt like a waste of money, and I was broke. Maternity clothing is so expensive, and there’s no way to know if you’re going to wear it more than once, or for very long. I honestly think it makes more financial sense to invest in pieces that are a size or two bigger than your normal size for when your body starts to grow. Plus, you’ll have clothes you can wear as your body continues to change postpartum.

Since I have a September baby, I spent most of my time pregnant in warm weather. I was able to get through by wearing things with elastic waistbands and stretchy clothes like leggings. Dresses were also a lifesaver, especially at the end when my belly was round and low. However, I did also buy a couple pairs of shorts a few sizes up that would sit until my belly comfortably. If you have pants without an elastic waistband and you want to wear them longer, there are different kinds of extenders to accommodate a growing belly. One option works by attaching it to the button on your pants, and then the other is more of an elastic insert. You can also get a belly band that goes over your pants and just looks like you’re layering shirts.

Overalls and shortalls are also great for pregnancy and postpartum. They can accommodate a growing belly well, you can wear them with any kind of shirt, and they’re a queer fashion staple! Of course, they may be a pain if you have to constantly pee, but that’s a minor detail honestly.

As the mom of an infant and then a toddler, things that were stretchy were imperative to be able to run behind a toddling tornado. I wore a lot of t-shirts and leggings in breathable fabrics that could withstand frequent washing. Babies are gross little creatures — they puke and poop on you, they spill stuff. You don’t want to be wearing something that you’re afraid of getting dirty. They know, and they will take that opportunity to destroy it.

My kid was a preschooler when I started working from home, so I stuck with the stretchy soft clothes. Leggings became my default; I only wore jeans on the rare occasions that I went out without him. I came out around this time, and I had a hard time trying to find the balance between my mom wardrobe and signaling myself as a single queer woman. I wore a lot of flannels and overalls. One of my biggest challenges was finding clothes that made me feel sexy and confident for when I went out on dates. I had gotten used to being frumpy and not caring much about what I wore. Since I breastfed my son for almost four years and had been single since he was a baby, I spent so many years not feeling connected to my body. It made figuring out clothes more challenging than it had been before.

It was a process, but over time, I found pieces that made me feel good about my body. A lot of the time, it was still leggings and a cute top, but I’d pair them with a flowy kimono top or a cute faux leather jacket. I wasn’t straying too far from the comfort I had come to enjoy, but they made me feel sexy and not like a pillow person.

When the pandemic started, I lost any and all fashion sense. I fully adopted what I call “soft clothes,” sweatpants, hoodies, jumpsuits made out of that same material. With nowhere to go, what was the point of looking like anything other than a slug? Even though I go outside more now, I still largely live that soft clothes life, especially if I’m just taking my kid to school or running errands. Who needs to look nice to go buy toilet paper at Target?

My partner and I don’t get the opportunity to go out often, but I’m realizing that I don’t want to continue looking like a slug all the time, even if I don’t have anywhere fancy to go. Now that my kid is older, I don’t have to wear clothes that are the most practical for me as a mom. One of the benefits of having an older kid is that I can really start to separate the mom version of me from the overall version of me. As I find my way back to myself, and figure out what a queer mom in her late thirties wears, I’m finding ways to combine comfort with fashion. I don’t have to give up wearing sweatpants, but joggers are a little more sleek, and I can pair them with a sweater or my faux leather jacket and boots just as easily as a hoodie and my Uggs. High-rise pants are my friend, and I mainly shop at Old Navy because they carry clothes specifically tailored for tall folks, which has changed my life.

Admittedly, I’m still trying to figure out how my queerness factors into my mom style. I have all the staples: flannels, a faux leather jacket, several jumpsuits, and more pairs of overalls than a 37-year-old woman probably should.

I know that in another couple of years, as I reach the next phase of motherhood and life that my style will expand yet again. That’s the thing about getting older. There are a few things I know I just won’t do (I’m looking at you low rise jeans), but I’m very curious about who I’m going to be then, and how it’s going to look.

Let’s talk about clothes. How do you figure out your style as a queer mom?

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Queer Mom Chronicles is a column where I examine all of the many facets of queer parenthood through my tired mom eyes. 

19 Disabled LGBT Fashion Icons Defying Stereotypes

I was scrolling TikTok shortly before Halloween when one of the folks I follow, Paul Danver (@practicallyperfectpaul), who is queer and chronically ill, walked confidently across my screen wearing a themed Halloween outfit with a color coordinated cane. I loved everything about it. There are endless stereotypes about disabled people: we are supposed to be sad, hidden, sympathetic, villainous monsters, or inspirational heroes. We are not supposed to be confident, stylish, happy, queer (because we are not supposed to be sexual), or out in the world having fun.

I wanted to share with you a vision for a more inclusive world. One where it’s common to see a person confidently navigating the world with a cane that complements their outfit, turning heads not out of sympathy but admiration for their self-expression. Where disabled high femmes rock heels in their wheelchairs, proving that style and glamor know no bounds. Where neurodivergent people proudly don bright colors and patterns, challenging what fashion looks like and embracing their unique way of experiencing the world. And, on the opposite end of the spectrum, where I can and will continue to wear leggings and 90s style Barbie t-shirts because I am too tired to figure out anything else.

This curated collection of style icons isn’t just about showcasing LGBT people with disabilities; it’s about challenging preconceived notions and stereotypes. It’s about celebrating those who blend their queer and disabled identities with unapologetic authenticity. It’s about offering a space where readers can see themselves reflected in these stories, or learn more about disabilities through an empowered lens that differs from what mainstream media presents us. I hope you discover someone new who makes you feel understood or helps you learn something new.

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Aaron Rose Philip (she/her)

Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/p/CyqhGZiuSOn/

Annie Segarra (she/they)

Instagram | TikTok

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ASHA (she/bhen/bruh)

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Drag Syndrome

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Eddie Ndopu (they/them)

Instagram | TikTok

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Jessica Kellgren-Fozard (she/her)

Instagram | TikTok

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Julian Gavino (she/they)

Instagram | TikTok

https://www.instagram.com/p/ClR1k8BOS3p/

Kay Ulanday Barrett (they/he)

Instagram | TikTok

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Lilac Vylette Maldonado (she/they)

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Pansy St. Battie

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Paul Danver (he/him)

Instagram | TikTok

@practicallyperfectpaul

Spent the weekend at a pumpkin patch before it got too hot! Have you been to one yet??? #Halloween #Pumpkin #PumpkinPatch #falloween #SpookySeason #OOTD #HalloweenOutfit

♬ Halloween Theme – John Carpenter & Cody Carpenter & Daniel Davies

Power Not Pity Podcast by Maxwell Joy Moore (ze/zir)

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Robyn (they/them/xe/xem)

Instagram | TikTok

@wheelingalong24

I feel like a 15 second trailer is my neurospicy dreams 😂 Hi, I’m Robyn. I’m trans non-binary, I use they/them pronouns & I’m a chronically ill & disabled wheelchair user who likes fashion, photography, graphic novels & my cat although I’ll mostly be posting about the first 3 😅 My life is not really this pretty but this is my escapism & that’s okay 😊 . #WheelchairFashion #DisabledFashion #PlusSizeFashion #MidSizeFashion #CottageCore #VintageFashion #VintageInspired #VintageCore #WarmCore #DarkAcademia #CottageCoreAesthetic

♬ Little Things – Adrián Berenguer

Ruby Allegra (they/them)

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Shelby Lynch (she/her)

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Samantha Golden (she/they)

Instagram | TikTok

@avintagelark

style a princesscore outfit with me 🎀✨🩰 #vintageaesthetic #princesscore

♬ Dream – The Pied Pipers

Sami Schalk (she/her)

Instagram

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Stevie Boebi (she/her)

Instagram | TikTok

@stevieboebi

Get ready with me 💜🌞🌊☁️ If it’s all things that your friends have given you is it still considered secondhand September? I’ve had so many hand-me-downs from my super fashionable friends lately I accidentally made a whole outfit out of them! (Aside from the sunglasses and socks) ♻️ Even my custom orthotic insoles were lovingly gifted by my NHS podiatrist 🇬🇧😂 I hate buying things new if I can get them secondhand (my wife makes me buy new mattresses tho 🙄) but it’s also so fun getting clothes from your friends when they’re done with them. #secondhandseptember #secondhandfashion #slowfashion #sustainablefashion #dopaminedressing #joyfuldressing #ootd #grwm

♬ Feather – Sped Up – Sabrina Carpenter

Zoë Arnold (they/them)

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Stylish Brimmed Hats for Your Best Queer Fall/Winter Aesthetic

Tis absolutely the season to don a beanie and flannel for maximum gay comfort and warmth. But while a beanie is functional and can absolutely be a hot look on butches, femmes, and all queers in between, sometimes you want something with a little more swagger and style. Enter: brimmed hats. And no, they haven’t been ruined by a certain scandal-inducing soccer player. Brimmed hats are a perfect low-effort fall/winter accessory, whether you go with a stiffer brim or a floppier witchy brim. Here are a few options for some late fall/early winter brimmed hat shopping. You can also just use some of these styles for inspiration and hit up a thrift store for your fall hat needs.

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Classic Black Brimmed Hats

Black brimmed hats are easy to style, and they come at a variety of price points depending on the materials used. Wool hats will cost more than felt, and ones with a leather band will cost more than those with a suede or synthetic band. Most of these are flat brimmed hats, but the second one offers a bit of a curve and is more of a femme fedora style than the others. All of them offer a sleek fall look that would pair well with a wool peacoat.

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Giddy-Up Hats

Cowboy style is queer style imo, and these more cowboyish brimmed hats might be a bold look to rock at the gay bar, but they’re definitely a conversation starter! The second hat, while pricey, is easily my favorite and is made from wool felt and also comes in taupe, cream, and brown. And that subtle sparkle on that fourth hat?! Divine.

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Floppy Hats

My personal fashion choices used to be almost exclusively inspired by the television I was watching at the time, so when American Horror Story: Coven came out when I was in college, you better believe I marched my ass to the Ann Arbor Urban Outfitters to purchase a black floppy hat. The first one on this list comes in an additional four colors.

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Neutral Brimmed Hats

The vast majority of my closet is in neutral tones — browns, creams, etc. My best friend likes to say I look best in “burnt neutrals,” shades like terracotta, sepia, etc. The above hats have especially autumnal vibes with their fall leaves shades. The second option is “semi-structured,” which means it’s easy to collapse into a suitcase.

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Statement Hats

Bold colors! Bold patterns! Listen, you’re already making a statement by wearing a structured hat. Why not take the statement to the next level? The second option comes in a whopping 15 colors, many of them bold/bright.

19 Gay-as-Hell Winter Coats to Keep You Warm Inside and Out

Gay winter coats!? Yes, gay winter coats!

In many parts of the world, the nights are getting longer and the days are getting colder, and you probably need a cute jacket and/or coat that will actually keep you warm. Perhaps what you’re looking for is a denim jacket (in which case I already have you covered, my love!), but perhaps… just maybe perhaps… you’re looking for something even warmer. You’re ready to feel toasty and be gay and drink hot chocolate and be gay and feel that pleasant nip on your nose and ear tips while you run around at the pet rescue or teach a femme how to start a cozy fire and again most importantly BE GAY.

It already snowed on Halloween in Michigan and Ohio. Maybe the rest of fall is cancelled. Let’s do this.

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The Sherpas

Please be a human teddy bear. I beg of you, be a human teddy bear.

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Short and Sweet Puffers

For when you want to give it’s winter but my ass looks great.

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Quilted

I did not know that quilts were in for this winter? But according to the fancy fashion people that I read in research for this article, quilts are very in for this winter. How do we feel about it? I don’t know. But I do know that the trench coat with the navy blue quilted arms keeps flirting like it wants to go home with me. And I keep blushing in return.

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The Top Coats (for a Top) (I’m Kidding)

Nothing will ever say “gay winter coat” and “top me” like a classic full length top coat. They are classic, androgynous, and they make me weak in the knees. You will wear it, you will power up into your most powerful power lesbian form. Bette Porter will wink at you from your reflection in the mirror. Those are just the rules.

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The 70s

According to influencers, fashion blogs, and your pop culture obsessed cousin on TikTok everywhere, the 70s are back! There are specific reasons for this (wide sherpa and faux shearling collars were apparently all over the runway, apparently straight women are still going hard in the Daisy Jones & The Six fandom), but it’s hard not to agree: That silhouette!?! Babyyyyy, you will be the show stopper in every room that you enter.

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Chore Coats

This is a close cousin of the top coat, a casual masc gay winter coat classic. (If you’re wearing one, call me.)

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And for When You Just Wanna Wear a Sleeping Bag

I live on the Canadian border, don’t play with me. We know why we came here.

25 Denim Jackets Worth Adding to Your Closet to Casually Up the Gay

The leaves have changed. The air has gone crisp. We’ve approached peak fall. Let’s make sure that your annual denim jacket is appropriately gay coded.

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Denim Jackets That Are Fleece-Lined

I’m putting the fleece-lined jackets up on top because between me and you (shhhh!) I’m getting this list of denim jackets up a little late and I’m well aware that if you live on the Canadian border, like yours truly, your cute little denim jacket days are already numbered!

Some of us were forced to trick-or-treating with our costumes stretched over our snow suits as children, alright!?!? But hey, now there’s global warming. So, I guess? Yay?

Denim Jackets That Are Also Trucker Jackets

Now if you’re paying attention, here is where you are going to ask me “Carmen what is the difference between a ‘trucker jacket’ and the ‘trucker jackets with lining’ that you just showed me in the section before?” And babe, I do not know!

It seems that “trucker jackets” are the vibe, the moment (you will see them all over this guide) — and who am I to argue? They are arguably pretty gender neutral.. though, on the face value of the thing, are not all denim jackets fairly gender neutral? Unless you get one of those ones that have a nipped in waist. But who’s to say a hoochie daddy doesn’t want to show off of their waistline! I’m spiraling.

Denim trucker jackets for sure feel gay. There’s something about the extra seam detail drawing from the pockets vertically down to the hemline that give them subtle “I don’t care, I’m here to work” razzle dazzle, and gays sure do love to razzle that dazzle. All I know is that I personally bought that oversized Gap trucker back in September (in XXL if you’re looking for yourself, I wear a size 18) and I have worn it every where, at all times, might as well bury me in it, and I have no regrets.

Denim Jackets That Are Also Trench Coats

A denim trench is what I believe should be in the updated uniform of mysterious power lesbians who have hard-wired boundaries where their gooey hearts should be, and the women who fall on their knees for them. And yes, this is a self-drag.

Denim Jackets That Have Hoods

Every single gay you know wears a hoodie layered underneath a denim jacket.  But what if the actual process of layering is just one too many steps for you? What if what you desire is a two-for-one combo? No judgement here. Be slouchy as fuuuuck.

Denim Jackets That Are White

Is white still considered unexpected for fall? Do we still follow archaic fashion rules like “no white after Labor Day” when Nothing Makes Sense Anymore^TM

I can’t imagine that we do! But just in case, see my vision. Go with me on a journey. Imagine wearing one of these coats layered over one of your all signature black ensembles and tell me that you wouldn’t feel like you stepped out of The House of Usher as some kinda October glam goth luxury personified? I thought so.

Denim Jackets That Are Black

Gays love black. Gays loves shoving their hands into denim pockets. That is some real 2+2=4 math right there.

Denim Jackets That Are Any Other Color Than Blue

Perhaps you already own a denim jacket or two, because after all, you are gay. In that situation what you might be looking for is not a denim jacket at all — or at least not in the traditional sense.

And yes, I theoretically could make a “taste the rainbow” joke here, but certainly we all agree that would be too crude, basic, and immature.

Or… ???

How Likely a Dyke Could Ruin My Life in Iconic Outfits From “Passages”

Here at Autostraddle, we love stories about Bad Gays™ — especially bad gays in fabulous outfits. So even though we tend to leave the cis queer boys to the other LGBTQ+ publications, we simply must talk about the clothes from Passages.

If you’re out of the indie film loop, Ira Sachs’ Passages — now streaming on MUBI — stars Franz Rogowski as a bisexual nightmare who wrecks havoc on the lives of his husband, played by Ben Whishaw, and his new lover, played by Adèle Exarchopolous. Bearing witness to toxic relationships has never been more fun due to the beauty of the actors, the perfect sex scenes, and the costume design from Khadija Zeggaï.

The Cut already did a very thorough style guide if your goal is to look like these characters. But since this is Autostraddle — and since I’m me — I got to thinking how likely the clothes from Passages could seduce me into my very own toxic queer relationship.

The clothes from Passages always tell a story. Like sure, yes, the character’s fashion isn’t what makes him toxic, but clothes can tell you a lot about a person! 

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The Pink Top — 6/10

What I like about this top is that it shouldn’t work. The multiple textures, the quasi pattern, the way it covers her entire body. And yet worn on someone as hot as Adèle Exarchopolous not only does it work but it signals a flamboyancy that starts the entire plot of this movie. Not everyone could ruin my life in this one, but a hot enough toxic beauty would pull me in like a peacock.

The Mesh Top and Striped Pants — 7/10

It’s the combination of slutty top and casual pant for me. Like he’s communicating that he’s confident enough to be comfortable but signalling that he’s going to fuck you. I can imagine a faggoty masc dyke wearing this exact look and immediately getting my attention.

The Striped Sweater With Mini-Skirt and Jacket — 7/10

I’m not proud of this but the cliché French girl in stripes look still really does it for me. Combine that with a mini-skirt and a red leather jacket (hello femme Rebel Without a Cause) and I am in. This look doesn’t have ruin life energy, but sometimes a simply fashionable femme can cause all sorts of damage.

The Rose-Patterned Mini-Dress — 9/10

I am once again going to be basic. I love when you can’t tell if something is outside clothes or lingerie. Or when lingerie is used as outside clothes. Or, like in this case, someone is wearing a bra and jewelry so you know something is meant to be clothes but it still looks like lingerie. Black with a rose pattern also just SCREAMS sex and seduction.

The Cardigan — 1/10

Some of the clothes from Passages are more muted. I’m including this cardigan because it looks exactly like something my real girlfriend would get excited about finding at a thrift store. And, despite her sun and Venus being in Libra and her Mars being in Gemini, she has done the opposite of ruin my life! In fact, watching this movie I was like “wow I’m so glad I decided to stop chasing people like this guy and found my partner.”

The Snakeskin Jacket — 3/10

Unlike his previous flamboyant outfits, this jacket feels too try-hard. Because the character has lost his power — he’s calling his ex who is in bed with someone else — the outfit reflects that loss of power. His usual cool has been replaced with something forced. A dyke in this outfit might try to ruin my life, but they wouldn’t succeed.

The Red Robe — 6/10

And now to the ex! We’ve seen this robe briefly in an earlier scene, but it’s fitting that our first good look at it is here. The confidence and passion of the red, the soft comfort of the material, and the way he’s wearing it open, all point toward someone who is in control of the situation. The only reason this doesn’t rate higher is it has more of a loving confidence vibe than a life-ruiner vibe. A dyke could ruin my life in this, but I don’t think they’d want to!

The Green Knit Sweater & The Blue Velvet Dress — 9/10 & 8/10

These two outfits have very different types of life-ruiner energy. The sweater succeeds with a nonchalance. The ratty edges show a freedom while the vibrant color shows control. Wearing it as a shirt with nothing underneath is the perfect touch to make this dangerously sexy. There’s nothing ratty about the blue dress. It has an elegance to it enhanced by the gold earrings and long nails. Also tight velvet is always going to be seductive because of how much desire it creates to touch. If these two dykes invited me to be their third, not only would they ruin my life, but I’d thank them from beneath the shambles.

The Teacher Look — 7/10

Just in case you doubted that this list was being created by a dyke, I have to include this casual teacher look. Whomst among us wasn’t in love with at least one teacher as a gay youth? I know I was! There’s nothing particularly sexy about this outfit, because that wouldn’t be appropriate for school. But the fun chunky sweater/tight pants combo would have had baby me swooning. This dyke probably couldn’t ruin my life now — she still gets points for how completely she would have ruined my life in middle school.

The Crop Top — 10/10

You knew it was coming and now it’s here. Any discussion of the clothes from Passages must center The Crop Top. This is worn during two different instances of cheating and when he’s meeting his girlfriend’s parents after one of those infidelities. Especially with these leopard pants, it’s just so queer and confident and HOT. I love a visible nipple. I will always love a visible nipple. The visible nipple paired with the completely bare arms and bare belly? Might as well be shirtless, but this is even better because there’s a fun pattern and a bit of tease. This outfit is perfect and terrifying and I want to own it, but also have my life ruined by someone wearing it.

The Tuxedo — 1/10

Oh how the mighty have fallen. I think I finally understand what all those straight girls are talking about when they say something gives them “the ick.” This crooked bowtie gives me the ick! On someone else it might be endearing, but on this man — or a dyke equivalent — it reveals a childishness that crumbles his confident veneer. He can’t do anything without the help of other people — not just their help but sucking all the life out of them. This is the moment when you realize the toxic queer ruining your life isn’t worthy of all the emotions you’ve given them. This is the moment when you send them off to do their life-ruining far away from you.

Unfortunately, right after this he gets on his little bicycle and I was once again charmed. I’m only human!

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To see the clothes from Passages in action, stream the movie now on MUBI. 

Style Thief: How to Dress Like Weird Barbie, the Most Lesbian of Barbies

You are here because you’d like to learn how to dress like Weird Barbie. Perhaps you want to dress like Weird Barbie for Halloween. Perhaps you want to dress like Weird Barbie for a costume party. Perhaps you merely would like to be the Weird Barbie in you own daily life. You want to learn the basics of a Weird Barbie aesthetic, from her far-off stare and 1980s pink dress at the opening to her commandeering rebel glow up in the film’s third act — and lucky for you my friends, ever since seeing the Barbie movie, I have thought about little else!

** The headline of this post names Weird Barbie as the most lesbian Barbie. I am only joking (no, I am not). I know how the internet likes to tussle. Whichever Barbie is your favorite is the most lesbian Barbie. ** 

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Lesbian Tank Girl Weird Barbie

I fully recognize that saying Kate McKinnon is hot is not necessarily breaking any molds here, but my God — Rebel Weird Barbie is just so fucking hot??? You know? Look at that lesbian slouch. Look at that leg spread. And the way that one ankle crosses over that one knee? ENERGY.

If you want to draw attention to your own lesbian leg spread, don’t be afraid of some color and/or color patterns. I feel like our instinct as a queer people is to reach for black whenever possible, but babe don’t blend in when you were put on this earth to stand out in your gay glory. Weird Barbie wears soft pants, because there is no reason that we can’t be hot and comfortable. Learn from her and if your pants don’t have already have a tampered leg at the bottom, don’t forget to cuff it to show off your boots.

This is almost criminally simple, you want a pink t-shirt. How much pink is too much pink for one outfit, you may ask? Infinity. To quote another pink classic Mean Girls, the limit does not exist.

Ok so technically Kate McKinnon is not wearing a leather jacket during this look (I had to zoom in several times, and it appears to be a brushed satin with a wide lapel and rolled up sleeves) — but I think we’re safe to assume the overall vibe that is being brought forth here is one of a dyke on a bike. If you know, you know.

Should you want something that it more closely matches Weird Barbie’s rebel apparel, I’m also including a pink bomber, a utility jacket, and an oversized fleece shirt situation that is screaming soft (pink) butch. Get into it.

You cannot be a rebel Tank Girl without a solid pair of Docs strapped to your feet. A queer staple and power move, I actually had to include three pairs because one is not enough! You’ll find them in patent leather (option 1), classic (option 2), and — gasp! — HOT PINK (option 3). If you aren’t a Docs person, listen I get it, the blisters they cause while you break them in is not for the faint of heart. I also included alt. combat boot options for wide sizes, one with an edgy zipper and silver stud detail, and a platform bottom.

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Lesbian Birkenstocks Are the Way to Reality Weird Barbie

Have you heard the rumor that the production of the Barbie movie caused a worldwide shortage of pink paint? Yeah, that’s a lot what it was like to try and find pink dresses in a variety of sizes at the end of Barbie-calypse Summer 2023.

But I found some options that hopefully evoke the puffy balloon sleeves of an early ’90s party dress, without making it seem like you’re on your way to a three-year-old’s imaginary tea party. The key here is the sleeves themselves, it seems. You want them to be doing something interesting and big, while the rest of the dress stays as simple as possible. That same silhouette works well with casual summer dresses (options 1-3) as it does with slightly more formal or long dresses (options 4-6). Good luck Barbie!

Speaking personally, these are my two genders: pumps and Birkenstocks. (I lied! I have a third gender: Nikes). I knew Weird Barbie was a lesbian.. well, immediately after they hired Kate McKinnon. But I knew that she was my kind of lesbian when she held up my exact mocha Birks as the pathway to reality. And another fun fact: I’m in fact wearing those same Birks right now while I write this article!

The pink Birks are my greatest find, they are the exact same ones that Margot Robbie wears at the end of Barbie, which my Instagram algorithm started pushing towards me immediately after I saw the movie for the first time. And if our robot overlords are reading this — I promise that once you take over the universe, you will have no problems with me! Please don’t capture me in the revolution.

Ok, that is everything! Be weird! Be queer! Love you!

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This piece was written during the 2023 WGA and SAG-AFTRA strikes. Without the labor of the writers and actors who are currently on strike, movies like Barbie one would not be possible, and Autostraddle is grateful for the artists who do this work.

Enter Sapphic Fall Mode With These Fresh Flannels

I freaking love fall. It’s always been my favorite time of the year, mainly because I love a good fall activity. A pumpkin patch, an apple orchard, a corn maze — bring it on. When I lived on the east coast, the change in temperature really signified the change in seasons. That first sign of crispness in the air meant I was grabbing at whatever fall jacket I could find. Now that I live on the west coast, that crispness isn’t quite there, but you do sometimes need to wear a layer when you leave the house. So for me, that go-to layer in fall (especially for my favorite fall activities) is a flannel.

I know…how utterly Basic Queer of me. But there’s a reason we hold on to flannels so tightly. They’re functional, and they’re super cute. It’s about time for our annual family trip to go apple and pumpkin picking, so I have flannel on the brain. If you’re looking for some new fall flannels to add to your rotation for your favorite fall activities, look no further.

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Everyday Flannels

Let’s start out with some basic, typical flannels. These are great with anything: jeans, sweats, cargos, whatever you want. I love a basic flannel because of its versatility. I can go from working on my couch, to picking up my kid from school, to dinner with my partner and not have to change my look.

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Flashy Femme Flannels

There’s nothing I love more than a fun flannel print. I tend to lean toward flannels with bright colors so that I can wear them on their own and don’t feel the need to layer them over another shirt. I’m having a hard time deciding which one of these to get first.

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Layering Flannels

I do often prefer to layer my flannels, because I tend to get warm. Plus layering is a fun way to experiment with different color combos or mix prints and styles. Because of the colors in these, they would be great for layering.

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Masc Flannels

I tend to go for flannels that are labeled as “women’s”, even if they’re “boyfriend” style shirts. If that’s not your vibe, these are flannels that are from the “men’s” section and feature a different fit than some of the other options.

What Are We Wearing to the Janelle Monaé Concert, Bestie?

The idea for this Janelle Monáe Age of Pleasure tour style guide came from a selfish place, if I can be honest for a second. But baby, I’ve been stressssssssing over what I was going to wear! I made myself a promise this year to commit to doing things that make me happy in the vibe of this photo of Halle Berry drinking wine while outside on her patio while being butt booty ass naked.

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A post shared by Halle Berry (@halleberry)

The results thus far? Mixed. But I’m out here trying!! And while the fashion guidelines for Beyoncé’s Renaissance tour felt much more straight forward (silver and chrome obviously), if not also high stakes — dressing for Janelle Monáe has been a puzzle! Age of Pleasure has the aesthetics of summer heat and sweaty queer bodies losing themselves in everything that feels sexy and good, but their tour covers September and October! And “fall queer beach party” aesthetic is just so fucking hard!

But let’s turn my pain into a purpose. If you’ve also been wondering what to wear to Janelle Monáe’s Age of Pleasure tour, listen, I got you.

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Ok so I have to say this, I saw Janelle earlier this week while I was in Minneapolis. And easily a bralette and 90s jeans was the most chosen outfit by all variety of queer humans in attendance, and I’m not just saying that because it was — ahem — also my outfit of choice, I promise.

The thing about the crop top/bralette situation is that, as you may know, Janelle Monáe has declared that the Age of Pleasure is also time to free the tiddies (their exact words were “Titties out for the next 15 years 😝”) and you’ll want easy access to your chest area if you wanna flash the concert. The less fabric to get you there, arguably the better.

I layered mine with a flannel, because I am a stereotype.

And speaking of free the tiddies! Have you considered… pasties?

Mesh tops are hot, for the most part gender-neutral, and give the essence of summer, but pair one under a denim of leather jacket and you are giving instant fall vibes.

Janelle Monáe is referential in all that they do, a true student of their craft, and while I think it can be a little too on the nose to wear an artist’s image to their own tour — this opens up a great opportunity to wear someone else in Monáe’s musical genealogy. Plus, when they sing “They say I look better than David Bowie in a MoonAge Dream”… you’ll have something to point at while you scream-sing along.

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If you’re one of the lucky ones who will be spending this fall at Janelle Monáe’s Age of Pleasure tour, I hope you have the best time, dance your ass off, and flirt with someone cute who flirts back. Don’t forget to eat food if you’re gonna drink! Also, hydrate with water before and after the concert. Sorry to be your mom friend. I love you.

Style Thief: The Cute Tomboy Grandpa Style of Hazel from “Bottoms”

Yesterday we dug into the style profile of the Bottom lesbian movie protagonists P.J and Josie, and today we turn our attention to another lesbian character inspiring crushes across the nation and possibly the world: Hazel, played by queer actor Ruby Cruz. Bottoms designer Eunice Jera Lee told Vogue that Hazel’s style is the one she identifies with most closely, describing it as “more androgynous and fashion-forward but always true to herself, wearing oversized men’s pieces from Vetements, All Saints, and Wales Bonner.” Hazel’s vibe is effortlessly cool, comfortable but put-together.

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Hazel’s Oversized Bowling Shirts

Bowling shirts are always cool.

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Hazel’s Baggy Polo Shirts

Hazel’s a fan of Johnny collars, ribs, knits and tipped polos.

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Big Cardigan Energy

There’s nothing like a chunky cardigan to radiate Hazel’s androgynous, “got this at the Kiwanis sale” energy.

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Hazel Is Wearing Vests, Vests Are Back Now

Hazel will wear a sleeveless vest over whatever she wants to!

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Drapey Oversized Button-Down

I wish I could find the exact shirt Hazel’s wearing in the film — it’s oversized, it’s drapey, the red and blue stripes are so subtle you can barely tell they’ve got color at all until you get really close up. But alas I could not, here are three other options:

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Hazel also loves to layer — start your outfit with a simple white tank top or a loose-fitting t-shirt, like the olive-hued tee Hazel wears under a cardigan and later under an argyle sweater vest. Pants are simple: Dickie’s-style shorts, track pants, cargo pants or whatever strokes your lesbian boat.

Style Thief: Dress Like Josie and PJ From “Bottoms”

The Gen Z style vibes in the instant lesbian classic Bottoms movie are very Depop and delightfully all over the place — a lot of Y2K fashion, looks inspired by classic teen films of the 80s, 90s and 2000s and a color scheme that, for stars P.J. and Josie, starts with earth tones but settles into what costume designer Eunice Jera Lee calls “spirit colors” — the varsity blues and reds that underscore the school’s hero-worship of misogyny and football. While full of the requisite designer items, it’s still believable that P.J. and Josie’s outfits were thrifted, as our outfits so often are in high school.

Perhaps what the show accomplished most subtly but so authentically was how P.J.’s style was split between “attempts at doing something sexy” and simply dressing exactly like Josie, as women and especially lesbians so often do when they spend enough time with someone they love so much they can’t help but want to emulate.

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“Bottoms” Best Friends Necklace

In middle school this stuff mattered, maybe in part because friendships back then were made or broken at the mall, and the appropriate jewelry could be purchased on the spot to commemorate said social shifts. But enough about me — Josie and P.J.’s necklace is a classic 90s throwback if I’ve ever seen one, and the spite involved in removing your half of the heart from your neck is a betrayal on par with removing a wedding ring.

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Josie and PJ’s Rugby Shirts

Much of Josie and PJ’s clothing are menswear-inspired — rugby shirts, overalls, loose-fit pants (lots of cargos and drawstrings rather than jeans) and vintage tees. Josie specifically sticks pretty consistently to oversized graphic tees and men’s rugby shirts, as often did P.J.

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Josie’s Oversized Graphic Tees & Stripes

Unfortunately the incredible Atari tee Josie rocks in the film can only be found on resale sites like Poshmark — it was a Junk Food tee but has since been discontinued, as has the Kappa tee with logo ringer collar Josie wears in the film poster. But the spirit of these items lives on, elsewhere:

The Bottoms style team also sourced specifically from New Orleans artists. In the final fight club scene, Josie wears an “Artists Are The Gatekeepers of Truth” tee from local artist/activist BMike Odums who runs the arthouse StudioBe in New Orleans. They pulled the “spiritual playboy” shirt Josie wears in the opening carnival scene from Los Angeles designer Don Kaka.

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P.J.’s Layers

Lee describes P.J.’s style as a “chameleon.” Her tiny/cropped/tight tees overlayed with patchwork flannels or hoodies is giving “insecure teenager in 1994” or “Brittney Murphy in Clueless pre-makeover” and I love that for her.

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PJ’s Corduorys and Overalls

Josie’s wide-wale cords, tight striped long sleeved tee and suspenders she wore on the first day of school were intended as an homage to Cameron from the 1986 classic Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Overalls are another consistent item for P.J.: in the final fight scene, she dons a white pair over a baggy orange t-shirt, which itself is over a yellow-and-white striped ribbed long-sleeve shirt (very mid-90s!). Earlier in the film, she channels Angela Chase in her denim overalls, patchwork flannel and a mismatched rainbow-embroidered baby yellow tee.

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P.J’s Little Dutch Boy

After P.J compliments the holes in Brittney’s pants at the carnival, she delivers the unforgettable feedback to P.J that “you look like a little dutch boy.” Lee was inspired by The Craft when constructing the outfit — Hervé Léger harness, white puff-sleeve Cider shirt, Rag & Bone pleated skirt and monk-strap Dr. Martens creepers.Sadly the Doc Marten Monk-Strap Creepers are no longer for sale but Mary Janes are fine, we can make it work.

“It’s what society is telling her sexy is, and her version of it,” Lee told Fashionista. “But she doesn’t necessarily ever get it right.”

A Queer Syllabus for Barbiecore

This piece was written during the 2023 WGA and SAG-AFTRA strikes. Without the labor of the writers and actors who are currently on strike, movies like Barbie one would not be possible, and Autostraddle is grateful for the artists who do this work.

Whenever I love something, and I mean deeply love it, I have an unspeakable nerdy urge to … tear it apart into bits and learn everything I possibly could on the subject. That’s what lead us to our new biweekly series Queer Syllabus, and this week we are diving into Barbiecore. Grab a pink floatie and join us? 🎀

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After months of anticipation, Barbie The Movie^TM The Experience^TM is finally here and as a lifelong member of Club Pink (no seriously, I had over 50 Barbies as child and slept in a cotton candy pink bedroom between the ages of 11 and 18 by choice), I cannot wait.

For today’s lesson plan, we are going to split the syllabus into three parts:  Barbiecore Aesthetic, Barbiecore and Queer Femme Theory, and finally Barbiecore Capitalism (that is, the movie, the dolls, and the money of both).

Overlapping topics we will discuss include the history of glitter, queer meanings of femme and femme theory, Rainbow Capitalism, why gays love Earring Magic Ken, pink vs pynk, and more! Alright nerds! Are you buckled in? C’mon Barbie let’s go party, etc etc.

“Pink Is My Favorite Part”: A Queer Barbiecore Aesthetic

On one hand, the aesthetic of Barbiecore is pretty easy to understand at face value: it’s pink, from blush to hot pink and all the hues in between! But before we dig into the nuances of queer Barbie aesthetics, let’s take a step back and ask ourselves “do I even know what the word ‘core’ means?” If you’re chronically online, you’ve probably seen everything from Cottagecore to Mermaidcore or even Rom-com Core — but have you wondered where the word comes from?

“A ‘core’ is a niche fashion trend, often born from social media, that revolves around a very specific visual aesthetic,” Brenda Otero, Lyst’s cultural insights manager, told Rivet in 2022. You can also read more about ‘core’ aesthetics in this delightful Vogue takedown that argues we shouldn’t use the word at all (ironically, the article is centered around Barbiecore! though that isn’t why I picked it). Alas, we are one with the internet and ‘core’ is the language of our people — and so that is what we will use.

With that lil vocab lesson out of the way, let’s talk more about various Barbie aesthetics across queer time and place.

Barbiecore and its History

“The Barbiecore aesthetic is in many ways ironic, deliberately excessive, even irreverent. It sort of expresses the desire for joy and lightness that is shared by everyone after the health emergency of Covid-19 and all the current events that are brutally changing our lives.

… It aims to become an ode to feminism, to beauty, to diversity, to inclusion. To break down stereotypes and prejudices (no, pink is not a girly colour). Add years of battles for emancipation and inclusion to the present feeling and you find yourself with an increasing number of women who, in contrast to the past, returned to explore hyperfemininity as an act of resistance against a culture that considered everything remotely feminine to be weak.

The Barbiecore aesthetic also draws from drag and queer culture. It does not want us all white, thin, blonde and blue-eyed. Barbiecore is for people of different sizes, colors, genders and backgrounds, it inspires people to break out of the mold to wear (and be) whoever they want.”

That definition comes from LAPP Magazine’s Why We Fell In Love With The Barbiecore Aesthetic.

You can also read a detailed timeline of Barbiecore dating back to the original 1959 dolls in TIME’s The Long, Complicated, and Very Pink History of Barbiecore.

And ArtReview explores The Politics of Barbiecore going from Killing Eve’s Villanelle to 2017’s Pink Pussy Protest Hats (a swerve that I did not see coming!), plus an appropriate amount of cynicism towards Mattel’s drastic change in messaging away from “their claim that Barbie’s unrealistic, highly problematic and potentially damaging proportions were simply to make the doll easier to dress, an argument they were still promoting as recently as 2014.”

✨ On Glitter ✨

I just deeply believe you can’t talk about queer Barbies without talking about glitter.

My Love for Glitter and Openly Expressing My Queer Sexuality Go Hand-in-Hand. A queer writer talks to nine other LGBTQ+ people about the role that glitter has played in their lives.

Inside the Fascinating History of Glitter and Gay Culture, honestly I could have written an entire article just on this subject! This one touches on drag queens’ use of glitter dating back to the 1930s-1960s, but I really wanted to highlight the use of glitter in queer protest and activism. Pay close attention to the use of purple glitter in religious activism by Parity and the infamous (but short-lived) glitter bombing of extremist right-wing politicians in the 2010s. See also: The History of Using Glitter As a Symbol of Protest from Teen Vogue.

Watch

OK I recently rewatched But I’m a Cheerleader on a plane and you cannot tell me that this queer classic is not, at its root, also Barbiecore. You can stream it on Prime Video (for free, if you have a subscription).

Once you’ve finished watching, don’t forget to also read this 2020 interview between director Jamie Babbit and Drew Gregory for Autostraddle: Jamie Babbit on “But I’m a Cheerleader,” Barbie Sex, and Getting Bad Reviews

Listen

These listens are also both “watches” because… aesthetics. But first I am obviously going to recommend Janelle Monaé’s 2018 “Pynk” video.

And once you’re done, you can read my review of it from back in ’18: Janelle Monáe’s Queer “Pynk” Music Video Is Here To Wreak Havoc On Your Heart and Body and also Dr. Omise’eke Natasha Tinsley’s The Color Pynk: Black Femme Art for Survival, the intro chapter is titled “Femme-inist Is to Feminist as Pynk Is to Pink” and how could you not want to read that?? (we profiled Dr. Tinsley’s work earlier this year).

Next is Cardi B’s “Up” music video.

There are talking Barbie dolls sewn into her wig!!!!

“It’s Barbie, Bitch, if You Still in Doubt”: Barbiecore and Queer Femme Theory

You didn’t think we’d talk about queer Barbiecore without talking about femmes, did you?

“I came to Femme as defiance through a big booty that declined to be tucked under, bountiful breasts that refused to hide, insolent hair that can kink, and curl, and bead up, and lay straight all in one day, through my golden skin, against her caramel skin, against her chocolate skin, against her creamy skin. Through rainbows of sweaters, dresses, and shoes. Through my insubordinate body, defying subordination, incapable of assimilation, and tired, so tired of degradation. Through flesh and curves, and chafed thighs which learned from my grandma how Johnson’s Baby Powder can cure the chub rub. Through Toni Morrison, and Nella Larsen, and Audre Lorde, and Jewelle Gomez who, perhaps unwittingly, captured volumes of black femme lessons in their words. Through Billie Holiday who wore white gardenias while battling her inner darkness. Through my gay boyfriend who hummed show tunes and knew all the lyrics to ‘Baby Got Back,’ which he sang to me with genuine admiration.”

That comes from Sydney Fonteyn Lewis, who wrote those words as part of an essay in the anthology Hot & Heavy: Fierce Fat Girls on Life, Love & Fashion (edited by Virgie Tovar), which obviously I recommend on its own! But I also wanted to talk about how Lewis uses this excerpt to explore Toni Morrison’s Sula in the academic article “‘Everything I Know About Being Femme I Learned From Sula”or Toward a Black Femme-inist Criticism’” from the online journal Trans-Scripts. It’s a careful read that will require all your attention, but worth your time.

Meanwhile, VICE explored what happens when “femme” gets co-opted outside of queer spaces and nearly everyone on the internet has a roundtable of femmes discussing what that identity means to them, so I’m just going to go ahead and link our own because we did it best (I’m kidding, I’m kidding).

Watch

Again, what femme “means” is, in a lot of ways, objectively personal. If you ask 50 different queer femmes how they’d define it, you’d get at least 30 different answers. I recommend exploring the history with British Black trans model and advocate Munroe Bergdof.

Listen

Dr. Rhea Ashley Hoskin is a Canadian interdisciplinary feminist sociologist whose work focuses on Critical Femininities, Femme Theory, and femmephobia. In this 2022 episode of the podcast The Sensual Revolution, she talks more about her work, Femme Theory, and its applications ranging from studying the role that femmephobia plays in gender-based violence to femme invisibility in queer culture.

Just for Fun

Gays drunk at 2am on the dancefloor while Robyn “Dancing On My Own” plays pic.twitter.com/opHXv99XzA

— 💫 (@heyjaeee) May 25, 2023

“Life in Plastic, It’s Fantastic”: Barbiecore Capitalism

We can talk a lot about “reclaiming pink aesthetics” (and I can, do, and will!) — but also it’s worth remembering that Mattel is a corporation with a net worth of roughly $7.46 billion (yes that’s Billion with a B) dollars. Barbies are made to be bought. Barbies have also held a lot of emotional meaning. There’s a productive tension there, and I want to explore it’s impact!

Barbie, the Doll

The first thing I simply have to talk about here is actually not about Barbie herself — but the queer history of Earring Magic Ken. Oh what, you may ask?? Oh YES! When Mattel Said ‘No Homo’: How Earring Magic Ken Became an Accidental Queer Icon. With his lilac vest, he is also known as “Cock Ring Bottom Ken” depending on who you ask. His rise to fame overlaps with the early 90s, the mainstream-ification of Voguing, and the brief moment where HIV/AIDS finally became recognized as a national health crisis. Sadly by 1993, he had already found his way to Doll Heaven but we remember him for who he is: A legend.

While we are talking about gay Kens, let’s bring back an Autostraddle work that will one day certainly live in a museum for it’s pitch perfect cultural ephemera: 75 Lesbian Ken Dolls, Ranked By Lesbianism and it’s partner piece Your “Lesbian Ken” Community Photo Gallery.

With all that Ken business out of the way, let’s also talk about perhaps the most famous LGBT Barbie in recent years. In 2022, Barbie announced that, as a part of their “Tribute Collection,” the first trans Barbie would be modeled after Laverne Cox. Though we can assume Mattel did not do this intentionally, there’s also a nice thread here where — relevant to this syllabus — some Black trans women call each other “dolls” as a term of endearment. Laverne Cox’s Barbie was released right before her 50th birthday and if you think she celebrated with a Barbie themed party… you are gotdamn right.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Laverne Cox (@lavernecox)

Using both (accidental) gay icon Earring Magic Ken and (very real) trans and queer icon Laverne Cox, we’re asked to think about Barbie’s role in Rainbow Capitalism and the queer lenses that we place on the doll. I recommend starting that journey with this short piece, Beyond Rainbow Capitalism: Barbie Through The Queer Eyes.

Often when we’re talking about capitalism — especially in queer spaces — we are talking about the evils thereof. And I am not advocating for or defending the ills of capitalism here, but there are so many interesting explorations of Barbie and her meaning, none of which can be separated from capitalism itself. Earlier this week, I stumbled across this Twitter thread that compared Barbie’s wheelchair to someone in the real world.

barbie’s wheelchair vs my actual wheelchair: a critical comparison

aka the best twitter thread i will ever post

strap in#Barbie pic.twitter.com/k1nhWLE2IO

— Katie Pennick (@KatiePennick) July 19, 2023

Barbie, the Movie

All of this brings us to Barbie The Movie^TM the real reason that we are all gathered here today. Greta Gerwig has set out to create a movie that both satires the pink capitalist, patriarchal structure that gave us over 60 years worth of Barbies and simultaneously create a loving homage to it — does she pull it off? I have no idea.

Greta Gerwig’s ‘Barbie’ Dream Job is a New York Times feature about the tensions of creating “art” for corporate dollars. I’d consider must read material before (or after!) seeing the movie — they provide audio accompaniment, so I listened while doing dishes.

Hari Nef spoke with Out Magazine about growing up playing the Barbie’s Magic Hair Styler video game and why, though she understands the importance of being cast as a Barbie as a trans actress, she doesn’t see this is as case of cut and dry ‘representation’: “Barbies are Barbies, they’re not human women. They’re dolls. They don’t have genitalia.”

It’s worth noting that even if Nef doesn’t see her role as a “trans Barbie” per se — the right-wing machine’s trans panic over the Barbie movie has skyrocketed as we’ve gotten closer to the premiere.

Ultimately, all of this leaves us someplace muddled! I tried not to dig too deeply into movie reviews for this syllabus, but I think Aisha Harris for NPR sews together a lot of the same themes I’ve been most interested in exploring:

“Stereotypical Barbie is rendered exactly as her name suggests: blond, thin, [presumably] straight, and Margot Robbie … i.e., the first image that likely comes to mind when anyone thinks of Barbie, as she herself proudly admits early on. Pointing this out is subversive, to a point. For all the brand’s exaltations about representing everyone – in recent years, to combat plummeting sales, Mattel has expanded the doll’s shapes, shades, and facial features – the movie is also admitting that the symbol that still looms large is white and supermodel-esque…. Yet Barbie’s limitations as a vehicle for substantial commentary are two-fold. For one, the execution is sometimes awkward, like a long, stilted monologue about how ‘impossible’ it is to be a woman because, The Patriarchy.

The other rub is inherent – critique can only mean so much when the entity under the microscope also happens to be the one writing (and cashing) the checks.”

Is ‘Barbie’ Corporate Propaganda or Malibu Metacommentary™? Why Not Both! The last word of the day.

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That’s it! Class dismissed!

Sun’s Out, Toes Out: My Favorite Nail Polishes for Summer Pedicures

Summer is my favorite season for a lot of reasons, but the main one is because it’s nail polish season. Of course you can paint your nails anytime you want to, but there’s just something about summer that makes me crave nail polish. I’m not a huge fan of manicures, because I mess with them too much, but I love a pedicure. Even though I live in a warm climate, there is still a period of time when it’s too damn cold to have my toes out. But once the sun is shining and the temperature is consistently higher than 75 degrees, it’s “sun’s out, toes out!”

I am constantly on the hunt for new nail polishes, even though I have at least a dozen. What can I say, I gotta keep things fresh. If you’re looking for some new polish colors for the summer, look no further!

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Reds & Oranges

People of Color – Rodeo Drive ($12)
This color reminds me of a Cadillac cruising with the top down on the aforementioned street. A true red, this color looks great on your hands or feet.

Nash + Pino – Joan ($16)
Everyone needs a bright orange polish for summer; it’s just a matter of fact.

Essie – Handmade with Love ($12.19)
This red-toned coral is the perfect shade for a breezy summer mani or pedi.

Pacifica – Summertime ($10)
This color is literally called Summertime. Need I say more?

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Purples

OPI Nail Lacquer – Do You Lilac It? ($12.49)
I love this color for this point in the year. It’s a great transition from spring to summer.

ORLY – Crash the Party ($10.50)
I love a grapey purple color for summer! This feels like the perfect purple for a pedicure.

China Glaze – That’s Shore Bright ($8.50)
I think we often associate pale colors with summer, but a deep purple really pops, especially out in the sunshine.

Pleasing – Live Laugh Lilac Polish ($20)
This lilac is a little more white toned, which means it will pop. Plus it comes with fun nail stickers!

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Neutrals

OPI Nail Lacquer – Barefoot in Barcelona ($13.99)
I love this rose-toned beige. It gives you a little bit of color and will work on any skin tone!

People of Color – Bronzed Beauty ($12)
Nothing says summer like a sunkissed bronze. If you don’t want it on your skin, you can absolutely have it on your nails. This is perfect for the beach.

OPI Nature Strong Nail Polish – Dawn of a New Grey ($11.59)
June gloom is definitely a thing, and having a pedi to match just feels right!

Sally Hansen Insta-Dri Nail Color – White on Time ($5.79)
You absolutely need a white nail polish to highlight your summer tan.

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Greens & Yellows

OPI Nail Lacquer – I’m So Swamped ($11.49)
The name of the polish gives me big Shrek vibes, but this vibrant green reminds me more of a four leaf clover.

Pleasing – Nonna’s Sorbet Polish ($20)
I love yellow nail polish, especially for summer. This yellow is more vibrant than its namesake sorbet; it’s pure sunshine in a bottle.

Essie – Unguilty Pleasures ($12.19)
I have always been obsessed with Essie’s teal and turquoise shades, and this one is no exception.

Sally Hansen Insta-Dri Nail Color – My Ca-banana ($5.79)
You absolutely need an obnoxiously bright banana yellow polish for summer!

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Blues

Nash + Pino – Cool Mom ($16)
The name of this electric blue polish is everything I wish I could be. Maybe I’ll just wear this color and dream of the life I could have had.

Essie – You Do You Blue ($10.79)
This blue gives me big mermaid vibes because of the lowkey shimmer it has.

Static Nails Liquid Glass Lacquer – Livin In A Dream ($16)
A sweet sky blue is perfect for days on the beach or at the pool.

ORLY – Gumdrop ($10.50)
Robin’s egg blue is another shade that feels perfect for the transition from spring to summer, and for days by the pool.

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Pinks

Nash + Pino – Whitley ($16)
The website says to wear this color “when feeling bougie” but it’s hot pink, which means you can wear it all day every day. It’s also named after one of my favorite TV characters. (IYKYK)

Essie – Muchi, Muchi ($10.79)
This cotton candy pink reminds me of county fairs and candy floss. Perfect summer vibes!

Static Nails Liquid Glass Lacquer – Malibu ($16)
You need a bubble gum pink this summer, because Barbiecore is EVERYTHING.

ILNP – Strawberry Shake ($10)
Looking at this nail polish just makes me want a strawberry shake.

Porkchop’s Odyssey: On Fatness, Transness, and Pants

I. Prelude

II. Lil’ Elliot and his damn euphoria

III. The Quest for The Perfect Chinos

IV. Returning to Fat Lady Land

• The belly area of the pants — right above/around your crotch will loosen throughout the day
• Your thighs will rub and so you’ve got to be mindful of the quality of the fabric between your legs.

V. Broken Promises of Online Sizing Charts

VI. Thick Thighs and Fat, Transmasc Dreams

VII. Post-script

In “dapperQ Style: Ungendering Fashion,” Queer Style Is Centered and Celebrated

The following essay is excerpted from dapperQ Style: Ungendering Fashion, by Anita Dolce Vita, published by Harper and out next week, May 30. You can buy your copy from Bookshop, or wherever books are sold.

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How Can We Be Resourceful and Accessible and Not Enforce Those Dominant Abled, Cultured Ways?

Kay Ulanday Barrett

All photos by The Street Sensei

Queer style is something communal, it’s collective, it moves with the trends and patterns happening to us in our bodies and minds, happening to us in the real world, not just in style. For me, style essentially is that daring force to say, “Who am I in this very individual curation with the backdrop of what’s happening to all of my communities”?

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One style piece, especially when you’re new to queerness, feels like your whole world.

I don’t think that cisgender and straight communities have that weight for that spiritual awakening. We talk about our first haircuts or the first times we let our hair be in a certain way or the first times we found a designer that honored fat bodies. That’s undeniably queer, where we don’t have the limitations but we’re just imagining. If you’re in multiple communities that are facing intense oppression, you’ve had to learn to question and to survive. And that doesn’t change with what you put on your body. It invigorates it. I think it gives you more insight.

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Especially with BIPOC queerness and Indigenous queer style, we set the tone of what style is. We’re responding in queer style in a way that catapults the patterns and materials and motifs of our stories and what is accessible to us, what is safe for us to be in, and then also what’s loving for us when we are in our cultural spaces. Everybody wants to be Black or Indigenous or queer, but nobody wants those fights. Fashion sometimes just takes things and it’s considered appreciation, but we’re not delving into the bigger meaning — why those aesthetics, motifs, or styles came to be. They have roots, they have homes and whole lives and whole people. Something comes from somewhere. We didn’t just get our freedoms and our justice from nowhere.

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When I was in my early twenties, my conversation was very much: What does safety look like in this place? What will not get me beat up or verbally assaulted or harassed by cis straight men? What is the safest thing that makes them comfortable and where I’m at now? I don’t have the frivolity or the privilege to be comfortable, so wherever I can insert that practical flyness, that comfortable opulence . . .

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I’m really interested as a disabled person in being cozy. The pandemic has made me realize that I have such limited access that if I have to be who I am, I have to be super careful about how I’m doing that. If I can’t go back to my old tools of what my queer styling was, how do I pivot that and reinvigorate that? That has been the challenge, which then brought me back to silky, buttery, at-home affordable opulence. Whatever I’m wearing that day is my place to wrap around and feel safe. And so that’s what fashion does for a lot of people who are like me, whether they’re newly discovering their queerness, whether they’re disabled and they just want to dress to impress not just other people but themselves. What can we do that’s new? As the end of the world comes, we’re leaning into disabled voices.

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I’m really into monotone pieces that have this streamlined look, but with pops of color and a range in texture. I like that surprise. I like to fuck with uniformity. As a queer Filipinx person, I do things that pay homage to my Filipinx family, my grandparents. Whether that’s an old hat shape that looks familiar, whether that’s a Filipino folkloric design that feels really good and instead it’s just in a really bright color or in a pastel or in something that pops, I really like to move in that way that still pays an undercurrent to who I’ve been.

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When I was younger, I came from a very Butch, rigid Midwestern working-class awareness of what “masculinity” was. And a lot of that I still attributed to my own forms of misogyny, my internalization of it, the enforcement of it on my body. And there was this place where for moments what I thought was acceptable and what is desirable as an abled, younger person was very much like what cis straight men wore. And I realized that didn’t work for me. I still feel like there’s a rigidity, there’s this push and pull. “I’m a real man” — but what is a “real man”? Let’s open that up to people who may not read at all as whatever the regional awareness is of what masculinity is. I think in my transhood I’ve felt more aware about things that aren’t rigidly “masculine” and opened myself up to that in a way that feels like home, in a way that is daring, that I would not have done in my early trans masculinity or in my Butch life.

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I think so much of mainstream fashion and white supremacy is about “How does this one thing fit to a uniformity?” It’s very eugenics, right? “This is the one standard we have. So how do we drape or style or design something on this one kind of body?” I’m asking to consider what multiplicity looks like, how particular clothing can examine different bodies and what it’s like not centering cisgender, heterosexual, white, thin people. Our bodies deserve exuberant fabrics and innovative design and can highlight beautiful parts of what society typically erases. I’m asking a loving challenge to be like, “What would it be for us to not just style what is acceptable, but what is for joy?” Everything that I am deserves options. That’s it. I’m not even asking for a big-ass party. Everything I do is a fucking celebration, and if I want to celebrate, I’m celebrating with the people I love, who honor me as a whole person. Why exacerbate the same dusty, old rubrics of what fashion is and what a body should be? Because for me as a cultural strategist and critic, that’s reinforcing these very mainstream norms. You want to be cutting edge? Then create more options.

DAPPERQ STYLE by Anita Dolce Vita. Copyright © 2023 by Anita Dolce Vita. Reprinted courtesy of Harper, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers.

Put This on Your Face: Faking a Full Night of Sleep With Beauty Products

I’ve had such a tough time sleeping lately. I wish I could blame it on something cool, like dating someone new or helping a friend communicate with The Beyond, but I’m pretty sure it’s because my bed is too small.

My partner and I sleep on a full bed, which is probably the smallest size the two of us could share without having to sleep on top of each other. Not necessarily a bad outcome, but it does get difficult to breathe after a while. I would know — I once slept in a single bunk with two other girls on an overnight field trip when I was 13. And yes, we did have our own individual beds but we thought it’d be Fun to share slivers of mattress space instead. The joys of being a preteen gay!!

Anyway, I brought said full bed with me into our shared apartment, and it’s a bed that probably should not follow us to our next home. And yes, we’ve been living together and sleeping on this bed for three years, but I recently slept on the couch for a few nights (my partner was sick and I didn’t want to catch what they had), and it was the best sleep I’ve had in a long time.

My sleep hygiene has never been great, but up until recently, I was able to get away with a sleepless night or two without it showing on my face. Now, though, if I don’t get my requisite seven and a half hours MINIMUM, I look (and feel) exhausted.

I know that my quest to banish dark circles isn’t unique; there’s a whole industry around it! And yes, there is an argument to be made that we should just embrace dark circles as part of living! They’re visible proof that we’ve had A Night — but sometimes, I succumb to wanting to look more “awake”, especially before big events. If you’re still with me, I’m assuming you’ve felt the effects of a late night at least once.

Here are some things I turn to when I have a big day ahead of me and I want to look Extremely Awake and/or Definitely Well Rested.

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Random Pantry Things

I’m willing to bet you have at least one metal spoon and if you don’t, maybe this is your excuse to try the tiny cute CB2 ones I linked above!

Metal spoons are great for both hickeys AND dark circles. A dermatologist quoted in this article says that the cold temperature constricts blood vessels and that the pressure of the spoon helps with lymphatic drainage, which almost sounds too good to be true but it is not!! It does work!

While I have not tried previously steeped tea bags as an undereye remedy, I have heard that green or black tea bags under the eyes can work (something about the caffeine, I think?). I’m a morning coffee + midday tea gal, unfortunately, so by the time I get to my afternoon tea I’ve forgotten all about my undereyes. But if you HAVE tried this, please let me know!

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Patches

I really like eye patches but they’re SO expensive and often single-use. There are definitely exceptions to the rule (Dieux Skin makes reusable patches that aren’t single-use but they are still a whopping $25 not including the actual serum you’d have to load them up with!) but I don’t typically turn to them unless I’ve got a big event or I impulse bought a pair in a checkout line.

If you have $75 to spare, the Peter Thomas Roth 24K Gold Pure Luxury Eye Patches are supposed to be incredible. The brand also makes eye patches without gold, but they are still pricey ($55-65). If you’ve got a big event coming up or just want to try eye patches without having to commit to a big tub of them, try buying a single pair! Stick ’em in the fridge for an extra spa-like time. I will admit that eye patches are particularly convenient for when you don’t want to hold two spoons or two tea bags under your eyes.

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Eye Cream

Eye creams are complicated! Jury’s out on whether they’re actually different from moisturizer, but anecdotally, I’ve had luck with them. Ones that I have tried and liked: the Dr. Jart+ Ceramidin Eye Cream ($40), La Mer’s Eye Balm Intense ($260 lol but I promise I’ve never paid money for it, I just got a sample of it using my Sephora points and unfortunately I loved it), and the Hydraphase Intense Eyes from La Roche-Posay ($37).

If you’re after brightening, try finding a vitamin C or niacinamide-containing product. If you’d rather boost collagen production, peptides. And if you just want to look more awake, caffeine. It’s why the tea bag trick works!

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Color Corrector

I’m relatively new to the world of color correcting, and it’s all because of the Live Tinted founder who used lipstick to color correct her dark circles. Her brand’s multisticks now work extremely well for color correcting (not a surprise).

The general idea here is basically using the color wheel to cancel unwanted shades out. If you think about the colors that are under your eyes after a sleepless night, you might have blues and purples. Using something on the opposite side of the color wheel (orange, for example) cancels those colors out.

Heads up that color correcting happens before concealer, and it’s better to use a light touch! You can always add more on later.

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Concealer

I could write a whole Put This on Your Face about concealer so I will just keep this brief!! Stick to a shade that’s a bit lighter than the rest of your face, and if you’re not color correcting with a dedicated color corrector, maybe veer a bit warmer (peach or orange undertones). You don’t have to set your concealer, but it can help it stay in place! Use a powder puff or something equally puffy (beauty blender, maybe?) to press powder into your skin before the concealer has fully dried.

I May Just Be a Target Stan, but I Love All Their Pride Themed Merch

It’s that time of year again! Target has dropped their Pride merchandise for 2023 and I for one, could not be more excited. There are a lot of conversations about Pride themed merch and ethics, and look, I totally get it. It’s hard when you’re a marginalized group who seemingly only gets recognition for one month a year, even though we exist 365 days. And it’s hard to see major corporations profiting off of us when we know that money won’t make it back to the communities who need it the most. But insofar as corporations who put their money where their mouth is, Target ranks pretty high, so I don’t feel as bad about throwing them my extra dollars. They already get most of my money anyway.

I also really love that I can walk into a Target store and see a giant display full of rainbows and flags right next to where people are buying laundry detergent. It’s fun to know that some bigot is absolutely losing their shit over it while they buy said detergent. And honestly? The stuff is cute! I may just be a Target stan, but I love all of their Pride themed merch. (I even have the coveted Pride holiday nutcracker!) Here are the items from this year’s Pride merch drop that I’m salivating over.

Unfortunately, the “live, laugh, lesbian” tee is sold out online, so I will be stalking all of the stores in my area to find it.

Note: all shirts are available in a gender neutral cut up to size 4X

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Pride Mice Cat Toy Set ($5)

Any good cat lesbian will absolutely buy these cute little mice for the kitties to chase. Bonus, there’s catnip inside, which will make them irresistible.

Jenifer Prince Short Sleeve T-Shirt ($16)

I’m obsessed with Jennifer Prince art AND girls, so clearly, this is the shirt for me.(Unfortunately the shirt is sold out in most sizes, but there’s also a tote bag. And you can buy this Jenifer Prince Pride print made exclusively for Autostraddle.)

Pride Adult Sling Pack ($18)

I got one of these last year and we brought it to every Pride event we attended. But they’re great even beyond! We use ours for going to the dog park, the playground, the zoo, wherever!

Kids’ ‘It Takes All Kinds’ Short Sleeve T-Shirt ($10)

This is definitely the tee shirt my kiddo is going to want this year.

Ash + Chess Beanie ($15)

What is a queer without a beanie? This one proclaims “queer all year” and yes, the irony is not lost on me. *adds to cart*

FLAVNT ‘Girls Gays Theys’ Short Sleeve T-Shirt  ($16)

What’s not to love about this one? I’m here for them all!

Pride Portable Outdoor Chair ($26)

My partner and I are old, and we can’t sit on the ground anymore. Can’t wait to be the lesbian moms sitting on the gay chairs at the park.

FLAVNT ‘Queer Joy’ Cropped Tank Top ($13)

Queer joy is the whole point of celebrating Pride, isn’t it? This is a good reminder.

18″x30″ Pride Door Mat ($13)

My best friend sent this to me and I knew we needed it. It’s hilarious.

Ash + Chess ‘Queer’ Short Sleeve T-Shirt ($16)

I love the color of this shirt so much.

Trans Pride Power PHLUID Project Short Sleeve T-Shirt ($15)

Trans Pride and Trans Power today and everyday.

Love and Butter Pride Printed Oven Gloves and Mitten Set ($15)

For those of us who love to cook, these oven accessories are a must have. Nothing says I love you like something from the kitchen.

Pride Sparkle Shawl ($20)

I’m extra af, so this kind of stuff is right up my alley. You don’t need to just wear it for Pride either, this will look great on a Saturday night out! Dress it up, dress it down, you’ll always sparkle!

‘Not A Phase’ Short Sleeve T-Shirt ($15)

This is incredibly clever, and I LOVE this color

Pride Adult Shortalls ($30)

Shortalls were my Pride outfit of choice last year paired with a sports bra, so clearly I must buy these for this year.

Love is Love Pride Dog and Cat Tank Shirt from Boots & Barkley™ ($6)

Is the saying trite? Yes. Will I probably buy this for my dog? Also yes.

Is He You Know Short Sleeve T-Shirt ($16)

I’m sorry, I just love this shirt so much.

Trans Butterfly Socks ($8)

These socks will be cute with a pair of short shorts and sneakers. If you want to be festive, you can mix and match!

Cooler Bag ($21)

“Chosen Family is Love” is the truest sentiment. Carry this cooler bag to all of your summer fun with your chosen family.

Gayer PHLUID Project Cropped Short Sleeve T-Shirt ($15)

Yes, this is exactly the sentiment I need on a tee shirt.

Every Scrap of Queer Fashion from the 2023 Met Gala

Yesterday was not only May 1st. Poetically and coincidentally it was also the First Monday in May, and if you’re anything even remotely close to a fashion gay — you know that means.

Look, I wanted to write you a much longer introduction, one that not only gave a reminder of what is Met Gala (annual fundraiser for The Costume Institute at the Metropolitan Museum, hosted annual by Vogue and Ana Wintour) but also what why we are covering it (fashion is art, something that I do take seriously, but I’m here to pop my lil jokes off and go).

Unfortunately — just to be very personal here! — everything about my day has gone badly. I know that you’re here for the fashion, thirst, and a lil bit of my corny humor, not for my emotional processing. Have you ever just had one of those days where everything that could ever go wrong, has gone wrong? Did anyone else read Alexander and Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Day as a kid?

But it’s fine. We all know what the Met Gala is, everyone has seen Sandra Bullock and Cate Blanchett play jewelry heist exes in Ocean’s Eight, we can cut right to it. You don’t need me to guide you.

Last night’s theme was “Karl Lagerfeld: A Line of Beauty” — Karl Lagerfeld was not a great person, who made comments making fun of sexual assault survivors, on top of being openly xenophobic, racist and fatphobic. There’s been a lot of smart pieces written about this uniformly awful theme choice. Lagerfeld’s influence in the history of fashion cannot be overstated, I get that. And the fashion industry itself is nothing if not always racist and fatphobic. But, even taking all of that into account, he was a pretty uniquely bad guy! There is no distancing the art he created from the terrible man that he was.  So if you’d like some analysis with your swooning over Janelle Monáe and Kristen Stewart, I have you covered, friend!

• Why the Met Gala’s Karl Lagerfeld Theme is Controversial by Sangeeta Singh-Kurtz for The Cut
• Why the Met Gala’s Karl Lagerfeld Theme Is Controversial (I swear it’s not a typo — I didn’t tell them to give all these pieces the exact same title) by Cady Lang for TIME
• Karl Lagerfeld and the Controversies That Color His Fashion by Ruth La Ferla for The New York Times

Before we get into the rest of the round up, traditionally when I cover the Met for Autostraddle, I don’t include cis gay men’s fashion because it’s covered extensively everywhere else on the web! And also — there’s only so many interesting takes about a plain black suit that girl can have. But this year men’s fashion ate downnnnnn!!! I wanted to shout out three of my faves:

Lil Nas X, in Dior Homme and Swarovski

I do not understand a single thing that is happening here beyond “Swarovski crystal” and I do not care because it is perfect.

Harvey Guillén

The pink? The twirl? C’mon now!!!

Jeremy Pope, in Balmain

Do I love Karl Lagerfeld The Man^TM? As previously established, no I do not. But do I love this cape? 🙈[Yes.]🙈

And while technically not homosexual activity, I have to give it up to Lizzo for what was, hands down, the best photo of the night:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Lizzo (@lizzobeeating)

Alright!! Now that we have the pre-gayming festivities out of the way!

Let’s see what else I’ve rummaged up!

If you, like me, have also had a pretty fucked up day — first of all, I love you. I hope you drank some water and did some deep belly breaths. Second, let’s disassociate for a while with some truly stunning photography, jokey jokes, and a few fun fact tidbits!

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Janelle Monáe, in Thom Browne

An act in two parts.

They described this look as “black and white sex” and well, yes. It is that.

And the after party. I’ve lost brain cells over these photos.

I simply can no longer form words about this matter in a professional context.

You understand.

Kristen Stewart, in Chanel

Two things about this outfit:

1. It’s vintage from Chanel’s 1996 collection.
2. Once every every blue moon, when a wolf howls in the dead of night, when clocks run reverse and dust falls into a complete circle, when the line between here and the upside down beyond what we know becomes as thin as a whisper — in those moments, I see what everyone else sees in Kristen Stewart.

Last night was absolutely one of those nights.

Kim Petras, in Marc Jacobs

Those boots = the gayest thing I have ever seen.

Ariana DeBose, in Altuzarra

These cornrows are GIVINGGGGG.

Cardi B, in Chenpeng Studio

Three complete complete outfit changes in less than a three hour period? Not to be extremely basic, but immediately I worried if they remembered to schedule Cardi a bathroom break. (No comment on Doja Cat as a cat can be made at this time.)

Phoebe Bridgers, in Tory Burch

I’m sorry it’s impossible for me to see Phoebe Bridger without thinking about her at Coachella. Did you miss it? Singularly one of the most gay and erotic performances this year.

Ice Spice, in Balmain

I just love how all the rap girlies are bi these days. Like damn, she in her mood.

Keke Palmer, in Sergio Hudson and Swarovski

Now listen…

Respectfully.

RESPECTFULLY.

R E S P E C T F U L L Y.

— the call dropped.

Anitta, in Marc Jacobs and Tiffany & Co.

Anitta is one of two people that I didn’t know before I started this round up (the other is further down, keep scrolling) but she’s a bisexual Brazilian singer, songwriter, television host, and actress. I started playing her music while writing this post and it’s a bop.

Cara Delevingne, in Karl Lagerfeld

I don’t always love Cara’s looks, but the leather gloves are clutch. Such a good touch.

Bella Ramsey, in Thom Browne

THIS IS THE CUTEST FUCKING FIT. Just a pinnacle of queer fashion.

And just wait until you see the after party look. I just…

What I love about this look is that it’s so approachable? I could imagine 100 different queers wearing this to a backyard wedding or a party that’s sort-of fancy but not too fancy, you know the type. It’s laid back and confident.

Not to honor gen z queer royalty with an extremely millennial joke but: You go, Bella. Four for you, Bella. (that’s a Mean Girls reference. Just making sure you’re still with me here!)

Rita Ora, in Prabal Gurung

Not enough trains, I say!

Angèle

Angèle is the other person that hadn’t made it on my radar before this roundup, but she’s a major Belgian pop star who came out as bisexual a few years ago, and I found this quote extremely relatable: “When I was a Teenager, if I had had more examples of bi or gay lesbians on TV, I might have understood faster than I was bi.”

Alex Newell

I know it’s the gleek trauma bond deep within in me, but whenever I see Alex I can’t help but smile. They’re really out here making it. I only want for them to succeed.

Aubrey Plaza, in Stella McCartney

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She’s an icon, she’s a legend.

Stephanie Hsu, in Valentino

That black lipstick. The eyeliner. That tie. Those sequins. My heart, my feelings. Everything everywhere all at once.

Brittney & Cherelle Griner, in Calvin Klein

Honestly, the fact that I didn’t include 40 photos of BG & Cherelle is in and of itself an act of self-restraint, and I deserve an applause.

And yes, I’m still including a second photo, because Brittney Griner laughing while taking in Lil Nas X’s full body sparkle is, moving forward, the only thing I mean when I say Black queer representation matters.