Girl-On-World: Coffee and Cakes in Bosnia and Herzegovina

My fiancé Senka is a native Sarajevan and Bosnian muslim who, as a teenager, came to the United States to escape the Bosnian War. She has taught me a great deal about her beautiful country and I am extraordinarily lucky to have been afforded opportunities to visit her childhood home with her on a couple of occasions. This summer, we traveled through Bosnia and Herzegovina (BiH), Croatia and Montenegro, and documented some of the region’s awesomeness for Autostraddle. However, before we tell you about it we thought we’d answer some frequently asked questions posed to us before/during/after our trip. Senka is here to help mostly with the accuracy of my historical facts and figures.

Q: OMG, are you/were you guys scared to travel through the Middle East?

A: Senka: “OMG, get a map!” Juanita: “On behalf of some of my American comrades, I apologize.”

Q: Do women have to cover their heads/face in BiH?

A: Muslims make up about half of the country’s population. While there has been an Islamic revival as a response to the war, BiH has a long history of being a secular state. You will see a growing number of women fully covered; however, the majority of the people, especially in Sarajevo, wear clothing similar to what you would find in secular Western cities. Proper religious attire (e.g., head scarves) is required when entering places of worship.

Q: Is it safe for homos?

A: Fair question, indeed! In 2008, Senka went home to live in Sarajevo for a few months. While she was there, she volunteered to assist Organization Q, BiH’s only LGBT-specific organization at the time, with coordinating the country’s first ever pride festival. The event ended in horrible violence when angry mobs attacked festival participants and supporters.

More recently, BiH has slooooowly started strengthening its LGBT anti-discrimination laws in an effort to comply with guidelines set forth by the European Union for countries seeking membership. However, I wouldn’t recommend making out with your partner in public just yet.

In 2007, the Sarajevo Open Center, a non-profit organization “promoting active citizenship through political education and advocating for human rights of women and LGBT persons through equality policies,” was established and has since designed many successful projects to support the community. While we were in BiH, Senka and I attended two of their events and we’ll tell ya about them in just a sec. In the meantime, “like” them on Facebook to show your support!

Q: Is there, like, shooting on the street? Like, is it all war-torn?

A: Countries affected by war and terrorism are never the same. However, they can rebuild and heal. BiH is doing just that. While the war ended in 1995, you can certainly still see mortar damage and burned out buildings. But a significant amount has been reconstructed and restored in many areas (e.g. Sarajevo and Mostar in BiH; Dubrovnik in Croatia).

Sarajevo is a safe, cosmopolitan city with bustling nightlife, culinary and shopping scenes, so we’ll start our adventures there.

+

First Stop: Bosnia and Herzegovina (BiH)

Sarajevo was our home base and first destination in BiH. After making the rounds to see Senka’s family (who are all very supportive of our relationship but not always able to understand English) and being discrete about our relationship in public for a few days, we needed a BIG dose of GAY.

We attended two events held by the Sarajevo Open Center: a public presentation on the translation of the book “Born to Be Gay: History of Homosexuality” at Art kino Kriterion and a private, invitation/RSVP only queer dance party. We were able to take as many pictures as we wanted at the presentation, as participants were made aware that this was a public event. No pictures, with the exception of the DJ and her friends who gave permission, were allowed at the private dance party so as to protect the attendees’ identities. I had difficulty communicating with some of the party-goers who didn’t speak English, but everyone knew the lyrics to all of the American pop songs. It was so amazing to be united with a bunch of queers screaming the lyrics to “I’M GONNA MARRY THE NIGHT!” on the dance floor.

The rest of our “city” time was spent doing what the Europeans do best — living a life of leisure. We drank coffee, ate cakes and shopped. We drank coffee, ate cakes and went to see a performance of Giuseppe Verdi’s La Traviata by the Sarajevo Opera. We drank coffee, ate cakes, and went dancing/hookah bar hopping in Bašcaršija, the cultural center of the city. We drank coffee, ate cakes and visited the historic mosques, Catholic churches, and Orthodox churches that represent BiH’s rich religious heritage. We drank coffee, ate cakes and had dinner.

Speaking of dinner, when Bosnians aren’t stuffing their faces with coffee and cake (no judgment, I happily participated), they are gnawing on MEAT. Their “national fast food” is Cevapi: grilled minced meat sausages served with warm flat bread, red pepper and buttery white “cheese” (kaymak) spreads, and chopped onions. The best vegetarian meals can be found at Dzenita (try their assorted grilled vegetable plate with or without kaymak) and at pita stands in Bašcaršija (pitas are baked phyllo pies stuffed with vegetables and cheese that are similar to spanakopita).

We also spent some time exploring BiH’s smaller towns and taking in the country’s natural beauty. While hiking in Sarajevo’s Trebevic mountains, we found a hungry, feral dog and took him to a no-kill shelter where he is now awaiting adoption. Senka’s dad named the pup “Happy.” Then, on our way to Croatia, we stopped in Mostar, home to a famous 16^th century Ottoman bridge; Pocitelj, a historic city with medieval and Ottoman architecture; and Kravice, the “Bosnian Niagara falls.”

+

Second Stop: Croatia

Friends of Senka’s family offered us a room to crash at their two story home in Dubrovnik, an offer we couldn’t refuse especially since the city is very expensive, very posh, and quickly becoming a hot spot for celebrities (e.g., it is currently one of the locations for HBO’s hit series Game of Thrones). Dubrovnik, a stunning city on the Adriatic Sea coast of Croatia filled with beautiful Gothic, Renaissance, and Baroque buildings, is nothing like I’ve ever seen. I’m entirely in awe that my fiancé and her family spent their summers there before the war, when Dubrovnik was little known to the masses and relatively affordable.

During our stay, we continued our Euro life of leisure and even spent an evening watching the Dubrovnik Symphony Orchestra performing with world famous jazz singer Diane Schuur and the Duke Ellington School of the Arts Jazz Ensemble.

+

Third Stop: Montenegro

There are a couple of amazing towns in Montenegro just about 1.5-2 hours from Dubrovnik, so we continued our adventures there. First up was Perast, a UNESCO “World Natural and Historical Heritage Site” located at one of the region’s most beautiful bays, surrounded by mountains and full of Venetian architecture. We took a very affordable boat ride over to the Church of Our Lady of the Rocks and then drank coffee, ate cakes…

Later, we headed to Kotor, a larger coastal city also with a Venetian influence, where we drank coffee, ate cakes and then decided to climb 1,350 steps to the Castle of Giovanni completely malnourished and dehydrated. Bad idea, great views!

Now that I have developed a post-vacation sugar addiction, I feel compelled to leave you so that I can consume a fresh fruit tart that my gal just brought home to our NYC apartment. Our voyage has officially come to an end for the time being. Next up, I’ll be taking Senka to my home state — New Mexico! Maybe not as “exotic” to us Americans, but I have my own secret treasures in Albuquerque and Santa Fe!

Queer Girl City Guide: Manhattan is The New Manhattan

Feature Image by Maro Hagopian

A couple of months ago, I attended an art symposium and one of the speakers, a lesbian writer, was a tried and true Brooklynite who had spent a great deal of time in Manhattan’s Bowery neighborhood during the 1980s. She reminisced about how the iconic Bowery was once a seedy bohemian area known for being an epicenter of punk music and underground art before gentrification replaced homeless heroin addicts and rat infested lofts with high rise condominiums and trendy cafes. I braced myself for the usual “Manhattan’s queer and art scenes are so over” speech. But instead, she acknowledged that Manhattan is a borough constantly in flux, always changing while remaining the same in many important ways.

I relocated to Manhattan in 1999 and I live in a historically wealthy neighborhood just a few short blocks away from Central Park, Madonna, and Anthony Bourdain. Interestingly, my rent is cheaper (and I mean way cheaper) than some “grimier” neighborhoods in Brooklyn, which exemplifies that gentrification is alive and well in places where hipsters are trying to keep the façade of “edginess.” (Bklyn Boihood has a good post on said gentrification.)

Yes, other neighborhoods and boroughs may be the “new black.” But Manhattan is the new Manhattan…and in certain respects, the old Manhattan. What I like most about Manhattan is that it is not just for a niche group of people; it’s for everyone! Here you’ll find tattooed dapper genderqueers; hip hop honeys; bougie L-word types; old school dykes rocking fanny packs and leather vests; power gallerinas; and doms and studs! All are welcome. If someone tries to tell you that there is nothing left in Manhattan for queers, you need not look further than this guide to prove them wrong.

---

Staple Bars

Cubbyhole: Too-cool-for-school kids roll their eyes at this lesbian bar that has become a queer institution in Manhattan’s West Village. But if you check your pretentious hat at the door, you’ll see that Cubbyhole is the “Queer Cheers,” with a bring your own food policy, gay anthem blasting jukebox, and ceiling covered in insane amounts of kitsch (e.g., plastic tropical fish).
(281 West 12th Street, New York, NY)

Henrietta Hudson: Going 20 years strong, this keep-it-simple lesbian club has three small rooms: one with a dance floor, one with a pool table, and one with make-out couches. It attracts no-pretense, girl next door types. Henrietta Hudson hosts a different party every night (e.g., Sunday’s Roc da Mic Karaoke and Wednesday’s Tócame Noche Latina) that caters to their diverse clientele. This is often the go-to club for outta towners, so you can find lots of fresh meat here!
(438 Hudson Street, New York, NY)

Escualita: While Escualita’s website appears to cater primarily to men, this LGBTQ club does have its own lesbian scene with all of the drama and incestuousness found in lesbian-specific bars. However, there is a true sense of LGBTQ community here; it is not unusual to find a butch rocking a sideways cap playfully putting dollar bills into a drag queen’s bra. DJs spin sets of hip-hop, reggaeton, and Latin beats.
(301 West 39th Street, New York, NY)

Also: The divey hipster gay bar Nowhere (East 14th street between 1st & 2nd Ave), with its pool tables and reasonably-priced drinks, attracts a mixed crowd all week as well as hosting Ladies Nights.

---

Parties

Boxers Off! is a bi-monthly butch burlesque party featuring some of NYC’s hottest gender-bending talents, such as L-Boogie, Goldie Peacock, Susan Herr, and Drae Campbell.
(Various locations)

Choice C*nts: I would describe Choice as the intersection of rock-n-roll glam, hip-hop chic, and urban hipster (Bowie+Runaways+N.E.R.D. = CC) with a lot of genderfu*king. Promoter Ellie Conant (a.k.a. the Gaysha) hosts Choice at Drom on the last Friday of every month. Each party has a different theme and celebrity photographer Maro Hagopian is there to capture all of the debauchery inspired by resident DJ Leslie Van Stelten’s panty dropping mixes.
(85 Avenue A, New York, NY)

Crème de la Femme: Every Wednesday night at Union Square Ballroom, promoter Maggie C. hosts Creme de la Femme (CDLF), one of Manhattan’s most popular femme (and femme chaser) nights. The party has an upscale, “well heeled” feel.
(27 Union Square West, New York, NY)

girlNATIONnyc: B&T (short for “bridge and tunnel,” a term used by Manhattanites to describe visitors who come into the city via those routes) flock to this Saturday night party for shots out of plastic test tubes and sweaty dancing. It sort of has a New Jersey/Long Island feel. You won’t need to own a leotard from American Apparel or a pair of bejeweled Christian Louboutins to fit in here.
(Various locations)

Girlz Parties: Without giving you all the gory details about my wild family tree, I will let you know this. My mom is also a lesbian and more women fawn over her than men fawn over Stifler’s mom! But my mom is not interested in women with Shane’s style; she would prefer someone like Papi! So when my mom visits Manhattan, she hits up Denise Madison’s Girlz Parties, weekly events with a smoothed out hip-hop and R&B feel.
(Various locations)

Hot Rabbit: In the Here/Queer guide to Brooklyn , author Sam asked, “Have you ever gone to a packed party with gorgeous people and thought, ‘Wouldn’t this be great if there were better music??'” Hot Rabbit has a cure for this by featuring a new DJ every week at this Friday party. The DJ line-up has included JD Samson, Whitney Day, and Shomi Noise. Did I mention the party is free?
(322 E 14th Street, New York, NY)

Stilettos: When the weather heats up, promoter Maggie C. brings the action outside with her seasonal Sunday party, Stilettos, located in the Maritime Hotel Cabanas, a breezy rooftop lounge high above the hustle and bustle of Manhattan’s streets. The urban oasis is reminiscent of an L.A. nightclub and the patrons look as if they’ve just walked off the L-Word set.
(363 West 16th Street, New York, NY)

Lesbo-a-Go-Go: Dykes descend on the Stonewall Inn, site of the historic 1969 Stonewall riots, every Friday night for come-as-you-are dancing. It doesn’t matter if you’re in a business suit or flip-flops. You don’t have to dress the part. Just dance. (It’ll be ok.)
(53 Christopher Street, New York, NY)

Truckstop: The L.A. based stripper-esque Truckstop Convoy brings their booty shaking go-go to Manhattan once a month. Onlookers dare one another to approach the Truckstop crew for a dirty dance. (“You go give her a dollar.” “No, YOU go give her a dollar.”)
(54 West 21st Street, New York, NY)

Probably the best resource for lesbian bars and ladies nights is the NYC-based GO Magazine, which hosts annual nightlife awards and always has the most up-to-date event listings on its website.

---

Food & Caffeine Fix

Manhattan is a culinary city. With most places being LGBTQ-friendly, it’s hard for me to make specific recommendations short of getting a Zagat guide to help you narrow down your options. That said, I thought I’d throw in some restaurants with a lesbian/bi following for good measure.

There are only two Cowgirl restaurants in the country: one in Santa Fe and one in Manhattan (519 Hudson Street, New York, NY). It has such a queer following that it also got a shout out in the Queer-Girl Guide to Santa Fe . Cafe Forànt (449 W 51st St (between 9th & 10th Aves) is another queer favorite owned by two super-cute lesbians who met in Provincetown and now want to serve you brunch every single day. Lesbian Top Chef Anita Lo‘s Annisa Restaurant (13 Barrow Street at 4th street) gets rave reviews for its unique style of infusing French cuisine with Asian ingredients.

If you want to eat a sloppy taco with Rachel Maddow, head over to La Rosita Grocery & Taqueria (526 W 47th Street,New York, NY) in Hell’s Kitchen. The Maddow staff members are fans of their tacos and sopes, Maddow herself saying, “If those chicken sopes ran for Congress, I would quit my job on TV to go door-to-door campaigning for them.”

For ice cream so delicious that even Anthony Bourdain approves, head over to the Big Gay Ice Cream Shop (125 East 7th Street, New York, NY) or Big Gay Ice Cream Truck (various locations), both of which have a homo following (obvi).

In Chelsea, Cafeteria (119 7th Ave at West 17th St) is well-known for it’s attractive gay-boy waiters, but the queer atmosphere, fancy comfort food menu, awesome brunch and 24/7 hours make it a lesbian favorite too.

The Yaffa Cafe (97 St Marks Pl between 1st Ave & Avenue A) is an eclectic Village spot with a cute back garden, funky lighting, and a diverse menu vegetarians and their friends will love. Speaking of vegetarians (and vegans!), Manhattan is packed with opportunities to consume soy in a variety of permutations — we recommend Josie’s ( 565 Third Ave at 37th St and 300 Amsterdam Ave at 74th St), Blossom (187 Ninth Ave at 21st street), vegan spot The Candle Cafe (1307 3rd Avenue at 74th street) and the famous Angelica Kitchen (300 E 12th St at 1st Avenue).

---

Art

With over 60 museums and 600 art galleries, Manhattan is considered one of the art capitals of the world. (Some say it is THE art capital of the world.) The Guggenheim, MoMA, and Metropolitan Museum of Art are usually on the top of most visitors’ lists, as they should be. But queermos may also enjoy the Museum of Sex (233 5th Avenue, New York, NY) and the Leslie Lohman Museum of Gay and Lesbian Art (26 Wooster Street, New York, NY). If you’re low on cash, consider this. Many opening receptions at galleries offer free booze. Got a few extra bones in your pocket? Then schedule an LGBT art tour.

---

Erotica/Bookstores

Bluestockings (172 Allen Street, New York, NY) is a bookstore, fair trade café, and activist center that hosts a feminist book club, workshops, readings, performances, discussions, and films every night. There is usually a suggested $5 donation to attend events, but no one is ever turned away for lack of cash.

The Housing Works Bookstore and Café (126 Crosby Street, New York, NY) has a large selection of books and hosts events, with 100% of their proceeds going to support their mission of providing lifesaving services to people living with HIV/AIDS.

Manhattan abounds with adult toy shops, especially along Christopher Street, which stretches from 9th Street to 6th Avenue and has become a symbol of gay pride. However, Babeland and Pleasure Chest are two shops that have a devoted LGBTQ following. Babeland is a women-friendly adult toy shop with several locations, including two in Manhattan (SoHo location at 43 Mercer Street and Lower East Side location at 94 Rivington Street). In addition to selling toys and erotica, they offer workshops that cost $0-40. Events range anywhere from “How to Give Great Oral Sex” to happy hours with free bubbly. Opened in 1971 in Manhattan’s West Village gayborhood, the Pleasure Chest (156 7th Avenue South, New York, NY) remains one of the most popular LGBTQ-friendly boutique style erotic stores.

---

Colleges

While you were busy sipping all that Manhattan haterade, the rest of us were getting our learn on at Manhattan’s world renowned colleges and universities: Barnard, Columbia, NYU, Hunter College, Juilliard, Pace, Fordham, School of Visual Arts, Baruch College, FIT, and Parsons School of Design, to name a few. Listing all of the LGBTQ and feminist resources for these universities would require a separate post. I had the honor of attending graduate school at NYU and working at Columbia for several years and can say from personal experience that both universities are LGBTQ–friendly. (Just take a look at Columbia’s “It Gets Better” video.)

---

Athletics

New York has plenty of professional sports teams to root for, including the Jets, Giants, Yankees, Mets, Rangers, Knicks, and WNBA Liberty. The last three teams play right in Manhattan at world famous Madison Square Garden. But if you’re looking to support or perhaps join smaller, non-professional sports teams in Manhattan, there are lots of queer-friendly options, such as Gotham Girls Roller Derby, Cheer New York, and the Big Apple Bowling, Dodgeball, and Kickball leagues.

---

Summer in the City

Manhattan is a great place to be in the summer, especially if you’re low on cash. The HBO Bryant Park Summer Film Festival shows free movies in Bryant Park; Hudson River Park offers free summer events and educational programs, including movies on the pier, concerts, and kayaking on the Hudson River; the New York Philharmonic and the New York Metropolitan Opera both put on free performances in Central Park; and
Governors Island in New York Harbor hosts art exhibits, food festivals, and concerts.

---

The Day Trip to End All Day Trips

You can certainly visit any of NYC’s other boroughs (Lez go to Coney Island!) or take a ride out to some of Long Island’s small towns (Hamptons, anyone?). But I’m going to share some insider information re the day trip.

Fire Island, just 1.5 hours from Manhattan, is a 31 mile long island that is in some places only accessible by boat or seaplane and where motor-vehicles are prohibited. Two of the hamlets on the Island, the Pines and Cherry Grove, are gay summer resorts. They are sheer gay paradise. People sunbathe on the beach all day and party all night. There are drag performances, lesbian parties, gay nightclubs, restaurants, gay bingo, you name it. However, since there are no cars allowed on the hamlets, the area has not been over developed. You get around by foot via treelined wooden walkways and piers, running into deer (yes, deer) along the way. It’s about a 20 minute walk between the two hamlets.

To get to Fire Island from Manhattan, take the Long Island Railroad from Penn Station to Sayville and then take a ferry to the Pines or Cherry Grove. If you have the time and money, rent a room or get a share because you’ll never want to leave!

---

Pride

The NYC Pride Parade, attended by approximately 1-1.5 million people annually, is held in Manhattan on the last Sunday of June. Many of the promoters in the above party section throw pre (the night before the parade) and post-Pride Parade parties. However, the official women’s dance party, Rapture on the River, takes place on the Saturday before the NYC Pride Parade, following the NYC Dyke March and Harlem’s amazing Pride block party.

---

Gayborhoods

Manhattan is one big gayborhood, but the most well-known gayborhoods are Chelsea, Hell’s Kitchen, and Greenwich Village. I lived in Chelsea for 10 years, so that’s my favorite of the three. Chelsea is home to over 370 art galleries, High Line Park, Chelsea Piers, and Chelsea Market, an indoor market with over 33 food vendors. Greenwich Village has historical significance, as the Stonewall Riots marking the start of the gay rights movement took place in this neighborhood. Hell’s Kitchen is Manhattan’s Off-Broadway theater district.

There’s also a growing queer lady community uptown in West Harlem and East Harlem. The Morningside Heights area hosts the eager students of Columbia, Barnard and the Manhattan School of Music and also is home to gay bar Suite and its legendary karaoke nights. Harlem has a long glorious gay & lesbian history and remains moderately affordable, too.

---

Git Yo Hair Did

You will not find a shortage of salons in Manhattan, but when I think of queer cuts, two immediately come to mind: Crops for Girls (437 East 9th Street, New York, NY), a salon specializing in short haircuts for women, and Fringe Salon (248 Broome Street, New York, NY). Stylist Jenn at Fringe Salon says, “I have a lot of short haired clients who are queer and come to me looking for something that is not feminine. I try and give them a haircut that makes them comfortable with themselves – makes them happy. A lot of my queer clients go to that extreme and want to shave, texture, keep a tail, [or] wear a mullet. And they wear it better than my male clients. It’s their individuality that makes the hair, not their sexuality.”

---

Resources/Support

The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Community Center (208 West 13th Street, New York, NY), known as “the Center” for short, is the second largest LGBTQ center in the world, offering a variety of youth, family, health, advocacy, and arts initiatives and home to New York’s largest lending library of LGBT material. Over 6,000 people visit the Center every week.

Located in Chelsea’s gayborhood, Callen Lorde Community Health Center (356 West 18th Street, New York, NY) provides non-judgmental, culturally competent health services to the LGBTQ community.

---

Gay Rights

New York’s Sexual Orientation Non-Discrimination Act (SONDA), which added sexual orientation to the New York State Human Rights Law that prohibits discrimination based on race, sex, creed, color, national origin, disability, age and marital status, took effect in 2003. In 2011, New York became the sixth state to legalize gay marriage. Same sex couples can petition to adopt in New York.

What are your favorite places to be a queer lady in Manhattan?

Queer Girl City Guide: Albuquerque, New Mexico

0. 2/20/2012 – Here/Queer Call for Submissions, by Riese
1. 3/02/2012 – Queer Girl City Guide: Montreal, Canada, by Sid
2. 3/05/2012 – Playlist: Here/Queer, by Riese
3. 3/05/2012 – Queer Girl City Guide: Portland, Oregon, by Lesbians in PDX
4. 3/07/2012 – Queer Girl City Guide: Brighton, United Kingdom, by Sarah Magdalena
5. 3/07/2012 – Oh But To Be A Queer in Sicily, by Jenn
6. 3/08/2012 – City Guide: Seattle, by Marley
7. 3/11/2012 – City Guide: Washington DC, by Keena
8. 3/13/2012 – Here/Queer: Sydney Mardi Gras Is On Your To-Do List, by Crystal
9. 3/14/2012 – Queer Girl City Guide: Spokane, Washington, by Ana
10. 3/15/2012 – Queer Girl City Guide: Cleveland, Ohio, by Lora
11. 3/16/2012 – Madison, WI and W4W Entertainment, by Emily
12. 3/16/2012 – Queer Girl City Guide: Dublin, Ireland, by Una
13. 3/19/2012 – Queer Girl City Guide: Vancouver, Canada, by Kathryn
14. 3/19/2012 – Things We Wrote That You Loved, by The Team
15. 3/20/2012 – Here/Queer: Boogie Down Bronx, by Gabby
16. 3/21/2012 – Queer Girl City Guide: Columbus, Ohio, by Dominique, Annie, Kat, Liz & Mila
17. 3/24/2012 – Queer Girl City Guide: Santa Fe, New Mexico, by Sam
18. 3/24/2012 – Here/Queer: Oxford, by Sybil
19. 3/26/2012 – Get Baked: Australian Edition, by Crystal
20. 3/26/2012 – Here/Queer: Brooklyn Under the Radar, by Samken
21. 3/27/2012 – Queer Girl City Guide: Albuquerque, New Mexico, by Juanita

Albuquerque. AKA “the Duke City” or “Burque.” Before moving to Manhattan in 1999 to attend graduate school at NYU, I spent the first 23 years of my life residing in Albuquerque, New Mexico, and the last two of those years as an out lesbian. The hospital I was born in, the high school I attended and the undergraduate university from which I earned my bachelor’s degree are all located within a 1.5 mile radius of each other. It goes without saying that this city holds a special place in my heart. Still, I sort of have an “it’s complicated” relationship status with Albuquerque.

Someone once jokingly said that if Santa Fe, the second gayest city according to the Advocate, is known as “the city different,” then Albuquerque is known as “the city indifferent.” Things move at a snail’s pace in this city, and even though Burqueños are some of the nicest people you’ll ever meet, the city is often resistant to change. My type-A, I-needed-that-on-my-desk-yesterday personality is often at odds with a city that is notoriously known as “the land of mañana.” As with anything else in Burque, if you want girl-on-girl action, you have to be patient and look hard for it. But once you find it, you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

+ 

I Love the Nightlife, I’ve Got to Boogie

 +

There are no officially designated lesbian bars in Albuquerque, and there are only three gay bars catering primarily to men. However, there is plenty of girl-on-girl boogie in Burque to fill up your dance card. Here’s a lesbian nightlife roundup that you won’t find in a Fodor’s guide:

Established in 2001, the Albuquerque Kings Club, Burque’s premiere Drag King performance group, draws a sizable lesbian crowd to their events. They perform in Burque’s three gay bars (The Albuquerque Social Club, Effex, and Sidewinders) and at Evolution, the straight-but-gay-friendly bar that took over the space once occupied by Albuquerque’s only lesbian bar, the now-closed Exhale. Kings Club member Rocco Steele is the first trans man to hold the Mr. New Mexico Pride title.

Albuquerque Social Club (4021 Central Avenue) Albuquerque’s only “members only” LGBTQ club draws more of an old school crowd. They host women’s parties featuring DJ Madie, one of Burque’s veteran lesbian DJs, on the first and third Fridays of the month. Memberships range from $5 to $30 annually.

With a capacity of 750, Effex (420 Central) is Albuquerque’s newest and largest gay club. Here you’ll find go-go dancers, a roof-top lounge, one of the largest dance floors in the city, and a young, diverse crowd of gay, lesbian, bisexual, queer, and curious party-goers.

Fire Womyn Events (Various locations) Promoter Alma Rosa brings in big name acts, like Bitch and God-Des & She, to her monthly dance and performance events for womyn by womyn. The crowd is extremely diverse; no matter what your age or style, you will never feel out of place. Alma Rosa’s rationale behind having rotating venues is to increase the LGBTQ community’s access to venues that are usually not accessible to them and to shift business owners’ perspectives of our community. Subscribe to Fire Womyn for their calendar of events.

Giddy-up, cowgirls! Sidewinders (8900 Central Avenue) is Burque’s queer country bar. Alma Rosa of Fire Womyn events brings the lady-loving-ladies a new party here every Wicked Wednesday, complete with 50 cent tacos!

+

Other Queer-Friendly Bars

+

Burt’s Tiki Lounge (313 Gold Avenue) This hipster/Rockabilly live music venue could be straight out of Quentin Tarantino’s Death Proof! With its anything goes attitude, you’re bound to find some lesbian/bi/curious action going on here. Located in what was once Albuquerque’s only lesbian bar, Evolution (6132 Fourth Street), no longer billed as a gay club, draws in dance and music lovers of all sexual orientations.

+

LGBTQ Activities, Events & Soirees

+

While not strictly a queer group, the The Duke City Darlins are a queer-friendly, all female promotional street team and modified (i.e., pierced, tattooed or otherwise personalized) model company. They host charity events and volunteer to raise money and awareness for marginalized groups and women’s health issues, among other advocacy initiatives. Founder and CEO Dezy Hardin Darlin is bisexual herself, and her business partner, Chief Executive Director, Brittany Darlin, is one of the lead members of GetEQUAL New Mexico. Bisexual CFO, Suzanna Bonesteel Darlin, says that she “feel[s] as though [they] are one of the most accepting, openly supportive organizations for the gay community. [They] participate in Pride every year, winning 2nd place last year for our float, as well as support and participate in gay marriage/LGBT rights rallies.” This sexy group of ladies ROCK!

One of the original 100 roller derby leagues in the U.S., Duke City Derby is comprised of teams from Albuquerque, Santa Fe and Taos. Duke City Derby is queer-friendly and welcoming to women of all shapes, sizes, races, and ethnicities. DCD belongs to the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association (WFTDA), a national organization of roller derby leagues with hundreds of leagues internationally that just last year adopted a policy that allows transgender skaters to play in their organization.

Lesbian comic Dana Goldberg, a native New Mexican, is the host and producer of Southwest Funny Fest, an annual comedy event that benefits New Mexico AIDS Services. Goldberg brings in other headlining funny lesbos like Fortune Feimster of Chelsea Lately.

The Southwest Gay and Lesbian Film Festival is an annual film festival that started in Albuquerque in 2003. Produced by Closet Cinema, an Albuquerque-based nonprofit organization dedicated to showcasing queer cinema in an attempt to highlight the richness of the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender experience, the festival showcases distinguished LGBTQ shorts and films from around the world.

Yes, I’ve been to a Burque Pride Parade or two. But I’ve also lived in Manhattan since 1999. With that in mind, would it really be fair for me to assess Burque’s Pride events? From my point of view, all I can say for Albuquerque’s Pride Parade is that there is one. And that’s a start; no matter how big or small the gathering, it is always inspiring to see fellow queers stand in solidarity with each other. With Burque’s population now inching closer and closer to one million, though, I hope to see the city step up its Pride events in the future.

+

For Your Food and Caffeine Fix

+

Ok, so here’s where I feel New Mexico beats New York hands down – New Mexican food! I was told that I could find the best of any type of cuisine 24 hours a day in NYC. 13 years later, I am still searching for delicious, authentic New Mexican food. (No one in NYC knows what a sopapilla is!) New Mexican food is not Mexican food; it’s not Tex Mex–when a New Mexican says chile, we don’t mean that chunky Tex-Mex mess with beans; and it’s not Cali-Mex. Albuquerque is highly regarded as a culinary city, with a unique cuisine that is influenced by U.S., Native American, Mexican and Spanish cultures. We eat chile with everything, so bring your Pepto!

Wait, everything? Everything! Take for example the homemade vanilla red chile fudge, dark chocolate red chile truffles, and green chile peanut brittle served up at The Candy Lady (524 Romero Street) in Old Town Albuquerque. If you’re into a different type of spice, visit the Candy Lady’s sexplicit adult sweets section.

El Patio (142 Harvard Drive) New Mexicans often argue about which restaurant serves the best chile. And while I’m not going to enter that debate right now, I will tell you to come here with a huge appetite, order the carne adovada stuffed sopapilla, and be prepared for some heartburn.

Flying Star Café (3416 Central Avenue) Come here for queers cruising queers, drinking coffee, eating cake, cruising queers, posting flyers advertising their next band gig or art show, drinking coffee or cruising queers.

Open seven days a week from 5am to 1am, Frontier Restaurant (2400 Central Avenue) is a Burqueño’s version of a NYC diner, only better due to the fact that their array of items, from their flour tortillas to their fresh squeezed lemonade, is prepared homemade daily. Frontier is located across the street from the University of New Mexico, so you’ll find lots of artists, college students, graduate Teaching Assistants, and professors hanging out and people-watching all day.

So, you punked out? Your stomach couldn’t handle all that heat. You need some of that fancy pants, local, organic Northern California style familiarity to soothe your queer belly? Well then, The Grove Café & Market (600 Central Avenue) is right up your alley, with their house-made granola, organic yogurt and Intelligentsia coffees and teas.

+

Tats

+

Burque is a pretty heavily-tatted city. All Is One Tattoo & Design (139 Harvard Drive), Evolution Tattoo (4517 Central Avenue Northeast) and Route 66 Fine Line Tattoo (5511 Central Avenue Northeast) are only a few of the finest places to get inked.

+ 

Gay(ish)borhood

 +

Nob Hill — sometimes called “Snob Hill” because of its high end boutiques and boho vibe–is not technically a “gayborhood,” but it’s the closest thing Burque has to one. Located along historic Route 66, Nob Hill is home to a number of queer friendly establishments including the Flying Star (mentioned above), the Guild Cinema (an “eclectic” cinema that shows indie films), and the La Montanita Co-Op Food Market (um, hello).

+

Hoods to Avoid

 +

There are lots of places to avoid, especially at night. Gang activity has been a problem for Albuquerque, and the city often ranks way above New York and Los Angeles in terms of violent crime. (Less than 10 years ago, it was within the top 10 most violent cities, which is ironic considering everyone I know back home is always concerned about my safety in NYC). My recommendation to anyone regardless of their sexual orientation is to travel in packs when the sun goes down. Don’t let its beauty fool you; Burque still has a “Wild Wild West” mentality.

 +

College Life

 +

The University of New Mexico gave me some of the best memories of my life. I didn’t go to a top notch or gay-friendly high school; as a “townie,” I knew a lot of locals and I didn’t share the same views or post-high school graduation goals with many of them. UNM, located right on Route 66 near Nob Hill, is an artsy, laid back, hippie-dippy campus that allowed me to just be me. Even though I stayed home for undergrad, the mentality on UNM’s campus is so different from that of the city at large that I felt like I went away for college. There are lots of great queer resources on campus, including the LGBTQ Resource Center, the UNM Feminist Research Institute, the UNM Queer Straight Alliance, and the UNM Women’s Resource Center, to name a few. It doesn’t hurt that UNM has a beautiful campus known for its unique, Spanish-Pueblo style adobe buildings.

 +

Go Team!

+ 

If you’re a big sports enthusiast, you probably already know that, with the exception of the Albuquerque Isotopes, a minor league baseball team, New Mexico doesn’t have any professional sports teams. If you’re truly a REAL sports enthusiast, you know that Burque makes up for its lack of professional sports teams with our college sports. Burque is Lobo country! The UNM Lobos have an excellent athletics department, sending many players on to the NBA and NFL, and their basketball teams play at the Pit, one of the loudest arenas in the country!

+

LGBTQ Community Centers/Support Groups/Resources

+ 

Located on the University of New Mexico’s campus, the The LGBTQ Resource Center is open to students as well as to the general public. Out country singer Chely Wright recently opened a “Like Me Lighthouse” LGBTQ community center in Kansas City, Missouri and in an interview with MSNBC, she stated that she hoped to open one in Albuquerque in the future. Fingers crossed! We’ve also got Equality New Mexico, Get Equal New Mexico and the Transgender Resource Center of New Mexico.

 +

Get Up!

 +

Albuquerque is home to the world’s largest International Balloon Fiesta, as well as the world’s longest double reversible tramway.

 +

Get Out!

 +

If you’re an outdoorsy dyke, then Burque is perfect for you. New Mexico’s natural beauty is unparalleled, so get out of the bar and hit the great outdoors. Here are some day (or longer) trips that my friends in NYC don’t believe I’ve taken. (Is it the glitter top or the heels that throw them off?)

About 1 hour from Burque, Bandelier National Monument has great hiking, camping, wildlife and cliff dwellings.

You can find hot springs, river walking, waterfalls, hiking, and camping approximately 1.5 hours from Burque at Jemez Springs. Don’t forget to stop in at Deb’s Deli.

About one hour from Burque, you can go hiking, catch amazing views, tent rock formations and wildlife at the Kasha-Katuwe Tent Rocks National Monument.

Summer sports like hiking, biking, nature walks, camping, and picnicking and winter recreation like skiing are just 15-30 minutes away from the city at the Sandia Mountains. Watermelon, anyone?

Santa Fe: Just 45 minutes from Burque. The state’s capital and the oldest capital in the United States has over 300 art galleries and museums combined, including the Georgia O’Keefe Museum. If the Santa Fe Opera is in season, catch a performance at their open-air Crosby Theater.

+ 

Gay Rights NM

 +

New Mexico is a BIG state…and a swing state. Albuquerque is more conservative than Santa Fe, but more liberal than some one-horse towns further south. New Mexico in general offers domestic partnership benefits to state employees, but a recent, more comprehensive domestic partnership bill never even made it out of committee. On January 4, 2011, Attorney General Gary King issued an opinion stating that that a valid same-sex marriage from another jurisdiction is valid in New Mexico. While New Mexico doesn’t perform gay marriages, King’s opinion hasn’t yet been tested in the courts or legislature.

In more current glitterific homo news, New Mexico Governor Susana Martinez (R) recently lost her hairdresser over her anti-gay marriage stance. Stylist Antonio Daren cut Martinez’s hair on three different occasions but decided to decline further appointments until the Governor changed her opinions. When Martinez’s camp called Daren’s salon to see if he would change his mind, Daren held firm. He. Betta. Werk!