26 Things Depression Feels Like According To My Diary

I should preface this by saying I’m totally fine right now, but I found this list I’d made in a notebook and I read it to my executive editor and she said yes, let’s publish it on the internet, and I said, okay. Maybe it’s a poem or a list/poem.

1. A slow-motion chase scene in a dark comedy

2. A monster underneath the bed, except in your bed

3. Like a magnet

4. Like a sweater

5. Like tap-dancing on a trap door

6. “My arms are sad”

7. Lying in bed staring at the wall with an empty facial expression

8. Lying in bed staring at the wall

9. Lying in bed

10. Staring at the wall

11. A sad girl in a black sack dress

12. A mattress underneath a rock

13. Cuddling with a knife

14. The song “Hurt”

15. Jeff Buckley

16. A magnet in a wind-tunnel

17. Everyone else is outside walking around saying “it’s such a beautiful day!”

18. “I don’t need anything” because you don’t want anything

19. Land mines but also quicksand

20. A best friend who treats you like shit but will also never leave you

21. Not getting the memo

22. Being stalked by a lump of coal

23. Like being awake is sleeping and being asleep is living

24. Like being awake is lying

25. Like drowning in the middle of a party

26. Like a big sad magnet