2017 Emmys Liveblog and Open Thread

2017 has been a hellscape but tonight the queerest crop of actors and writers in Emmys history have been nominated for awards and so Natalie, Carmen Phillips, and Heather Hogan are here to liveblog the whole Hollywood shebang for you. You can peruse our team’s completely unbiased picks right here. And also throughout the night we’ll be sharing our readers’ picks with you. You can also expect a little bit of this:

And this:

And this:

And this:

And this:

And that concludes our pregame. Onto the red carpet!

7:30 Heather: What’s the number one thing you want to see win tonight? Top choice. Mine is for sure Lena Waithe for the “Thanksgiving” episode of Master of None.
Natalie: Definitely Lena Waithe and “Thanksgiving.”
Carmen: I’m spending this last hour before the Emmys re-watching the “Thanksgiving” episode and I REGRET NOTHING. If it doesn’t win, someone is going to have to pick me up from the floor.

7:45 Carmen: HI I’M HERE. I just finished watching the “Thanksgiving” episode while making spaghetti and trying not to cry into the sauce, so that’s how I’m doing.

7:50 Natalie: Anthony Andersen asked Laverne to do a guest stint on black-ish on the red carpet.
Carmen: I missed so much! LENA WAITHE IS MY CELEBRITY GIRLFRIEND AND I LOVE HER.
Heather: One time Laverne Cox blew past me on the GLAAD Awards red carpet. It was the best three seconds of those entire awards.
Natalie: Does she smell like magic? I’ll bet she smells like magic.
Heather: Yes.

8:00 Let’s go!

8:05 Natalie: “Future’s always brighter on TV”…no coincidence that they haven’t mentioned lesbians, right?

8:15 Heather: The only acceptable thing about that Sean Spicer bullshit is that Melissa McCarthy refused to applaud him.

https://twitter.com/ira/status/909571863931633666

8:20 Next up is Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series. You’ll all be shocked to hear that our writers and our readers overwhelmingly voted for Kate McKinnon in this category.

8:30 Oh, hello! And Kate McKinnon really won in real life and not just in our imaginations! She tried to thank Hillary Clinton and they started playing her off because 2017, y’all.

8:35 Autostraddle readers are two for two! You called the Laura Dern victory for Best Supporting Actress in a  Limited Series or Movie. Laura says she’s happy to win for Big Little Lies because she’s only ever worked with 12 women in her entire career. One of those women, you’ll remember, was Ellen. She played the woman Ellen fell for and came out to on “The Puppy Episode.”

8:40 That all happened so fast we didn’t get to talk about Gina Rodriguez. Let me take you back to 8:26.

Carmen: Fuck Me Up Gina Rodriguez (maybe) Bisexual, Fuck Me Up.
Natalie: As the bisexual woman in the room, let me just tell you…Gina and Shemar are a DREAM pairing.
Heather: Gina, kiss Kate on the mouth!

8:45 Natalie: Among the staff, Carmen is the only person to get all the picks right thus far.
Carmen: I should’ve warned y’all, I play Oscar pool with my mother every year since I was ten years old.
Heather: Wow, is she good at TV too?
Carmen: My mom has beat me every year of the last 20 with the exception of four. I beat her in 2009 (which she denies to this day), we tied in 2012. I won in 2013, and we tied last year.

8:50 While Gabrielle Union is presenting a writing Emmy to a category that only includes one woman, here is a thing to think about.

8:55 Carmen: LENA WAITHE AND HER BEAUTIFUL PARTNER!!! They were behind the guy who just won best writing for Handmaid’s Tale. Aisle seat! The Emmy’s are hopeful for her win, too.

9:00 Carmen: DAMMIT! The Emmys will never appreciate Tituss as much as I appreciate Tituss. That much is clear.
Natalie: That Lemonade sketch alone should’ve won him that dang Emmy.
Carmen: That was my first thought! When they announced Alec’s win, the Lemonade sketch flashed through my mind like it was This Is Your Life.
Natalie: So, the most diverse Emmys of all time…and yet…these winners seem suspiciously familiar.
Carmen: Say that again!
Natalie: Qwhite interesting.

9:15 The goddesses have truly blessed us on this night.

Natalie: Is Heather alive?
Heather: No, she died.
Carmen: Lily Tomlin looks hot, I am so here for her.
Heather: Did Dolly Parton just ask for a Grace and Frankie vibrator?!
Natalie: Heather is dead now, for sure. We need to send flower arrangements.
Heather: Some assholes on Twitter are saying it’s gross for a 70-year-old woman to ask for a vibrator.
Carmen: We can really not love ourselves sometimes.
Natalie: I used to volunteer at senior center in high school. There’s only one other place that I’ve been to where they’re having more sex. Old people are hooking up ALL THE TIME.
Heather: Golden Girls was telling the truth.
Carmen: My goal in life it to be 70 with the world’s largest vibrator collection, I’m claiming that right now.
Natalie: I’m a black woman from the South…if I live to 70, I will be showin’ out!

9:25 Hmm. Ann Dowd won Samira’s Emmy. Well, Samira is the Emmy winner OF ALL OUR HEARTS.
Heather: Ann Dowd is shocked, but not more shocked than me.
Carmen: She is devastating in Handmaid’s Tale. I will say that.
But, so was Samira. And she isn’t playing the face of evil.
And Mille Bobbie Brown CARRIED AN ENTIRE SHOW ON HER BACK at 11 years old.

9:30 Carmen I’m fully willing to believe that the Emmy is a black femme queen, just so y’all know.

9:35 IT WON! IT WON! Lena Waithe won for the “Thanksgiving” episode of Master of None! My gosh, what a speech. She is the first black woman to win an Emmy for comedy writing ever.

Heather: I’m screaming! I’m screaming!
Natalie: Best. Hour. Of. TV. All. Year.
Carmen: I HAVE TO STOP TYPING SO I CAN STAND AN INCH FROM THE TV AND CRY NOW.
Heather: She thanked her girlfriend!
Carmen: “To My Girlfriend, I love you more than life itself.”
Natalie: She shouted me out basically.
Carmen: “To My LGBTQIA family… we are superheroes. Thank you for embracing a little Indian boy from South Carolina and a little queer black girl from the Southside of Chicago.” My heart is beating out of my chest. MY HANDS ARE SHAKING.

https://twitter.com/HotNewHipHop/status/909596597973143553

Natalie: Lena Waithe called the episode the blackest and gayest tv she could make…I think that speech accomplished the same thing. First black woman, second woman of color (behind Mindy Kaling).

9:50 Heather: “San Junipero” wins for best writing! That’s a surprise! You voted for it, we voted for it, but I kind of thought for sure Ryan Murphy would win because he wins everything.

10:10 Carmen The worst thing about Sam Bee losing is Sam Bee would have the perfect feminist rage rant about losing to John Oliver right now and WE CAN’T HEAR IT BECAUSE SHE F*CKING LOST.

10:15 Hem hem.

Carmen: DANIELLE BROOKS AND HER STRETCH MARKS ARE TELLING ME TO LOVE MYSELF.
Natalie: good lord.
Carmen: I will try my hardest to love myself and my flabby tummy and my stretch marks. Thank you, Danielle Brooks.
(Also, I love you Danielle Brooks. But that’s more obvious.)

10:30 Veep, Veep, Veep, Veep bleep bloop blah bloop Veep. Also:

10:35 You were right about Nicole Kidman in Big Little Lies and so were our writers but mostly Carmen was right. She’s been right about everything all night!

10:40 Black Mirror‘s “San Junipero” wins for Best Limited Series!

10:50 Natalie: SKB!!!
Also
Can I just say
That show would be 10x better if they cut the white people out
Keep the mama
Heather: Oh for sure.
Natalie: If Adele was a TV show, it’d be This Is Us.
Carmen: Listen, ok. Sterling K Brown has been one of my favorites since he was the Army Husband in a team of Army Wives on that terrible lifetime show a decade ago
I am so happy for his come up.
Heather: Remember when that show was surprise gay for a minute?
Carmen: Haha, yes! I almost forgot! But now I can’t forget!

10:58 Elizabeth Moss wins for The Handmaid’s Tale and then The Handmaid’s Tale wins for Best Drama and then Elizabeth Moss wins a hug from Oprah. And now, in this huge win for feminism, a white man is giving the last speech of the night. Margaret Atwood is on the stage, though! And Samira finally!

11:00 Heather: Will someone just give Viola her Grammy already so she can EGOT?
Carmen: I WANT VIOLA’S EGOT SO BAD I CAN TASTE IT.
Heather: God that orange looks so good on her.
Carmen: I also love her hair. I love her make up. I love it all.
Natalie: Listen, if someone just let Viola do their audiobook, she could pick up that final EGOT.
Maybe Michelle Obama will let her do it.

11:19 Carmen: I know we shut down for the night, but Danielle Brooks liked the screenshot of our live-blog that I tweeted at her!!!!

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Heather Hogan

Heather Hogan is an Autostraddle senior editor who lives in New York City with her wife, Stacy, and their cackle of rescued pets. She's a member of the Television Critics Association, GALECA: The Society of LGBTQ Entertainment Critics, and a Rotten Tomatoes Tomatometer critic. You can also find her on Twitter and Instagram.

Heather has written 1718 articles for us.

81 Comments

  2. Was about to comment here about Seth Myers and the “marbles in his mouth” and then Sean Spicer rolled onstage WTF

  4. Kaaaaaaate <3

    There was no question of her not winning but I'm still so happy, it was so well deserved

      • When they cut to Liev Schreiber early on in the show, there was a cute short haired babe sitting next to Kate & my wife and I both immediately looked at each other and said excitedly at the same time “IS THAT HER GIRLFRIEND?!?!?!” ?

        • it is indeed her girlfriend! they’ve gone to a few events together now, including the rough night premiere :)

          • I am so happy to hear Kate has that happiness in her life. (And I thought the shout-out to Jack was very cute!)

        • She said “thank you Jack, I love you” so that’s pretty cute (I am assuming Jack is a nickname for Jackie)

  5. Ummm..couldn’t you have posted a warning before that Danielle Brooks picture…like, do you have heart meds or a paper bag for hyperventilation handy?

    #Olderstraddler here.

    • I was thinking about that same thing! For someone to have the length and strength of Laura Dern’s career to say that. Just… it boggles the mind (except, we know, of course we know.)

  9. Was the orchestra playing “You Don’t Own Me” when the writer from Handmaid’s Tale walked up to accept the award? Kind of love it kind of hate it(!?)

    • hokay! I decided I hated it. ? they just played it everytime someone from Handmaid’s Tale won and it got old real quick and felt sort of trivializing and condescending (??) I know I know it was in an episode of the show dont @ me

  10. Hey guys I’m going to bed because it’s 2am in the UK but I just want to say that I love Kate Mckinnon and Lena Waithe and Samira Wiley and Zoe Kravitz and Reese Witherspoon and Laura Dern and Nicole Kidman but not Shailene Woodley, OK bye!

    • Her name is Ann Dowd. She played the mother of an AIDS patient who sues his firm for discrimination and uh the sorrowful mother of WWII soldiers in what my mind says is more than 1 film or miniseries.

      Seeing her in the role of an enforcer and twisting the sad mom thing she does into it was fucking brilliant.

  17. LENA WAITHE JUST WON AND I CANNOT HANDLE THIS!!! I AM SHAKING!

    I just needed y’all to know that.

  19. I created an account right now because i needed to say this: I am sat alone in my room in the dark in england watching the emmys because i just love TV, and i just saw a black lesbian in a goddamn suit win an award on my tv and thank her girlfriend and i am so full of joy. i am so full of joy. i feel so much less alone. i am so full of joy. thank you lena thank you. fuck.

    • Orla, I just want to take a moment in our collective joy to say: I See You.

      Thank you for coming here to share and celebrate with us.

  21. Ladies, my pessimistic heart is actually fluttering.

    2017 has been a hot dumpster fire thus far and disappointment has become my way of life, but the Emmys are actually coming up roses, with a few notable exceptions. (Tituss!!!!)

  24. I am LOVING Danielle Brooks and her stretch marks all the hell all over creation and tv yes yes YES ❤️

  30. I finally got a good look at Samira’s new haircut while Handmaiden’s Tale took the stage and you guys it’s positively swoon-worthy .

    (PS: I wish they had let Margaret Atwood give the speech, since they let her come up on stage and all. I would’ve really liked to have heard what she had to say. I bet it would’ve been important)

    • Totessssss! I was really hoping she’d get to speak, and then the speech from the writer (?) guy was kind of awkward and off putting.

      “And now, in this huge win for feminism, a white man is giving the last speech of the nigh” pretty much sums it up!

  31. I just want to come in here and defend this is us, the best tv show of 2016, bc it’s amazing and perfect and everyone in it is great and i love it and yeah

  34. *puts on tv history nerd hat*

    in reference to that Rhea Butcher tweet: I’m p sure the outrage over Mary Tyler Moore’s pants happened when she was on the Dick Van Dyke show (1960s) and not from the later MTM show. Mary Tyler Moore pushed back on the notion that she should have to wear elaborate dresses and skirts when her character was at home like, cooking and cleaning. I remember watching an interview w/ her where she was like “that’s not what any moms or housewives I knew would wear at home. We all wore capri pants, not ball gowns.” So they let her wear pants in some scenes (?) I think was the compromise, or they just couldn’t be too “form fitting”– whoever was making that call I am not sure!

  36. As far as award shows in general go, I think the Emmys offer the most representation and recognition of it to LGBTQ+ people and I think that’s awesome. Sure,as with all awards, some will say that some things are staged but when I see empowered and motivated women, especially queer women, walk on that stage and deliver those inspiring speeches that drive me even more towards pursuing my dream of becoming a writer, then that’s the most important thing. Perhaps not all of the shows or actresses that we’d like to have won ended up winning, but again, there were so many astounding works of art and resistance in the form of tv shows that I can’t help but watch in awe and imagine what a wonderful feeling it would be to actually deliver a speech that the oppressed, the marginalized, the “others” and “us”es of society can listen to from their living room with their family or on their laptop late at night and feel like nothing can stop them anymore… To be honest, yes, the shows that I have been watching in the past year have been specifically selected by me through autostraddle recommendations and reviews based on how queer they are but who hasn’t? Sometimes I feel alone and then I watch San Junipero, Kate McKinnon, Lena Waithe and so many more being awarded for standing out and speaking their truth through the power of words, and then I come to this website as well… and I don’t feel so alone anymore because on Earth we are all different and we are all connected, especially us who might not always have it easy in life. We raise our voices, we write fiercely our concerns and through that we choose goodness and kindness and we find one another. What do you say?

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