100 Storylines We Brainstormed in 5 Minutes That Don’t Involve Dead Lesbians
By Rachel and Heather
1. Lesbian invents antigravity rail.
2. Lesbian adopts a llama.
3. Lesbian gets lost on the subway.
4. Lesbian gets loose on the subway.
5. Lesbian successfully negotiates a hostage situation.
6. Lesbian has to decide whether to buy a condo or keep renting.
7. Lesbian has a Three’s Company-style misunderstanding with another lesbian.
8. Lesbian goes on a date with the lesbian who participated in the misunderstanding.
9. Lesbian defeats an evil wizard.
10. Lesbian with a crunchy exterior reveals she’s got a soft caramel center.
11. Lesbian is an old, wise mentor — but wait, no, actually she’s the grandmother.
12. Lesbian falls in love with someone from a lower class, her father’s not gonna like it.
13. Lesbian goes on a quest to find the jewel that can stop the sinister overlord.
14. Lesbian meets a new quirky friend who opens her up to adventure.
15. Lesbian is a loyal servant and the only one who knows the hero’s real identity.
16. Lesbian journalist goes on an undercover assignment.
17. Lesbian gets in a fight in a bar.
18. Lesbian is a sleeper agent.
19. Lesbian is the handler of a lesbian sleeper agent.
20. Lesbian handler of a lesbian sleeper agent falls in love with lesbian sleeper agent.
21. Lesbian is a reformed bad girl — or is she?
22. Lesbian is actually a ghost.
23. Lesbian deals with an overbearing landlord.
24. Lesbian blames her shitty behavior on her rich parents.
25. Lesbian is the Chosen One.
26. Lesbian astronaut explores Pluto’s heart.
27. Lesbian must uncover the secret before time runs out.
28. Lesbian babysits and falls through magical portal with bratty kids.
29. Lesbian navigates workplace misogyny as a professional sports agent.
30. Lesbian navigates workplace misogyny as a CIA operative.
31. Lesbian navigates workplace misogyny at the Gap.
32. Lesbian bartender follows her dreams to become world-class chef.
33. Lesbian robot falls in love with her straight best robot friend who does not know if she returns lesbian robot’s robot feelings.
34. Lesbian is a therapist.
35. Lesbian decides to be the hero you need, not the hero you want.
36. Lesbian discovers dinosaur bones.
37. Lesbian owns a comic book shop.
38. Lesbian comic book shop owner is secretly an alien spy who accidentally falls in love with humanity.
39. Lesbian gets a dog.
40. Lesbian explores a coral reef.
41. Lesbian of color gets a lot of money to produce quality TV about lesbians of color (sci-fi).
42. Lesbian finds out she’s a mannequin!
42. Lesbian invents cool video games with lesbian friends.
43. Lesbian inherits a zoo.
44. Lesbian raises dragons in the desert.
45. Lesbian takes to the sea to become a pirate.
46. Lesbian kisses another lesbian, is happy, stays alive.
47. Lesbian coaches a football team.
48. Lesbian competes in a slam poetry competition.
49. Lesbian travels around the world by hot air balloon.
50. Lesbian must save town from nuclear plant meltdown.
51. Lesbian must get married by her 30th birthday to inherit ten million dollars.
52. Lesbian discovers other realm in her wardrobe.
53. Lesbian turns to sexy life of crime.
54. Lesbian has a wacky road trip.
55. Lesbian saves an embattled local bookstore.
56. Lesbian runs a marathon.
57. Lesbian fights evil with swords.
58. Lesbian goes to Mars.
59. Lesbian gets really into jigsaw puzzles.
60. Lesbian tries to win Hamilton tickets.
61. Lesbian programs comical AI companion.
62. Lesbian takes on evil corporation in court.
63. Lesbian has a picnic.
64. Lesbian joins local scrappy underdog kickball team.
65. Lesbians go to community college together.
66. Lesbian becomes YouTube star overnight.
67. Lesbian tries to make friends in the PTA at her kid’s school.
68. Lesbian travels through time.
69. Lesbian moves to the big city.
70. Lesbian leaves the big city to become an unlikely farmer.
71. Lesbian takes care of an ill parent.
72. Lesbian hikes the Appalachian Trail.
73. Lesbian becomes competitive hot dog eating champion.
74. Lesbian learns to square dance.
75. Lesbian buys her favorite diner to keep it from closing.
76. Lesbian is attacked by rabid shapeshifter.
77. Lesbians fights to save her family with the help of an uncultured lesbian barbarian.
78. Lesbian is an attractive pickpocket.
79. Lesbian crosses the mountains with a witch.
80. Lesbian solves the sorcerer’s riddle.
81. Lesbian competes in the Olympics.
82. Lesbian is spirited away by an evil priest.
83. Lesbian gets a job at the Museum of Lesbian Artifacts.
84. Lesbian discovers the vibrator exhibit.
85. Lesbian cannot believe vibrators existed in Victorian times!
86. Lesbian is lured into a trap by a wolf.
87. Lesbian hero finds the lured lesbian and slays the wolf.
88. Lesbian loves her horse.
89. Lesbian slays what was once believed to be an invincible predator bird.
90. Lesbian is like, “Is that all you’ve got?”
91. Lesbian gets caught in a storm.
92. Lesbian must master dark magic to break the evil charm.
93. Lesbian wouldn’t do that if she were you.
94. Lesbian kisses another lesbian in the rain.
95. Lesbian rides a ferris wheel with another lesbian.
96. Lesbian and her ferris wheel lesbian are attacked by a feral clown.
97. Lesbian stargazes.
98. Lesbian does star charts for zany customers.
99. Lesbian cop falls in love with lesbian thief.
100. Lesbian lives happily ever after.